You know that you are a sherlockian when:
1. you are bored (BORED. Bored!!).
2. you are on FIRE!
3. you ponder the best way to destroy all self-check machines for the sake of your sanity and mankind.
4. you hate those bloody self check out machines.
5. body parts in your fridge, microwave or other kitchen appliances is just de rigueur.
6. the idea of body parts in the fridge/microwave doesn't seem like a deal-breaker for a flatmate.
7. you do experimentation's using your microwave and your fridge as part of the methodology.
8. flogging a corpse with a riding crop just seems the thing to do.
9. you scour the net/high street looking for a riding crop.
10. safety Orange trauma blankets have become the new "black".
11. your text message notification is Sherlock saying "What now? I'm in shock - look I've got a blanket."
12. you don't see anything wrong with hacking your flatmate's laptop just because you can't be bothered to get your own out of the bedroom.
13. you start hacking cell phones just to tell people how "Wrong" the police are.
14. you have a housekeeper, not a landlady.
15. oatmeal colored jumpers become hotter to you than "Lesbian Asian Triplets" night on the Playboy Network.
16. you have the urge to aquire a blue scarf and wear it everywhere.
17. you've got out your long wool coat and keep wearing it *in the middle of summer*. *With a scarf*. *And gloves*.
18. you are wishing away the summer with one eye on your long wool coat.
19. you're filled with the sudden, irrational desire to buy and then wear thick, woolly sweaters. In the middle of a hot Californian summer.
20. you're filled with the sudden, irrational desire to buy and then wear tailored, dashing suits. Even if you're just sitting around at home.
21. you want nothing more than have certain roomates rip the aforementioned sweaters and suits off of each other.
22. you start ripping off your friend's clothes in a darkened swimming pool.
23. you crash your housemate's date without realising how awkward it might be.
24. ...you tell your flatmate to "Come at once, if convenient" and it starts to mean something altogether different.
25. "Asexual" starts to mean "John!sexual".
26. "get my phone, it's in my pocket" means "I want to have your babies.
27. you constantly correct everyone's grammar. Out loud.
28. you call it an aeroplane, not an airplane.
29. you begin to use British vernacular even though you live smack dab in the middle of the States (hooray for jumpers, mobiles and aeroplanes).
30. Taxis > Rooftops > Walking.
31. you start winking at people whilst making that 'click' sound.
32. you try to look pompous and serious while Tweeting something silly from your mobile.
33. you vehemently deny that you are a psychopath and would prefer to be known as a highly-functioning sociopath.
34. you see anyone who looks like Anderson you tell them to stop thinking since they're lowering the IQ of the whole street.
35. other peoples stupidity really annoys you.
36. you refer to your sibling as your 'arch enemy'.
37. you see a man with a long umbrella and immedietely think he may be dangerous.
38. you buy an umbrella and you are never seen using it; just twirling it.
39. Browning Service revolvers become the favorite creative tool of your inner tortured genius/artist.
40. ...eating becomes that thing that "other" people do.
41. you're a true musical savant and yet your violin playing STILL sounds like an agonizingly dying cat.
42. when you tell people you know that you'll "Catch. Them. Later."
43. postmortem spit coagulation becomes more germane to your daily life than Earth's place in the larger solar system.
44. the very first thing you buy with your very first paycheck is a thick hardbound copy of The Complete Sherlock Holmes.
45. you spend your day off having a Sherlock day, going to the big bookshop to see what Sherlock books they have, then on to baker street and the Sherlock museum, speedys cafe, and then to see the Sherlock play currently in the westend.
46. you acquire a comely sidekick and a crazy arch nemesis (other than your brother) all in one week.
47. you're walking down the street/in the mall/anywhere public & you start eyeing people, trying to deduce who they are & how they live their lives.
48. you want to kill everyone for a cigarette!
49. you start loading up your arms with nicotine patches claiming "this is a three patch problem".
50. you want to get nicotine patches (whether you smoke or not).
51. you have a mug of tea at work because something is "a two brew problem".
52. you can't seem to watch the shows, fanvids and clips on youtube without craving Chinese take out.
53. crime reports come on the news and you have to tell yourself "Do not Giggle! It's a crime scene!"
54. end your texts with your initials.
55. you miss your skull from osteology class and seriously start looking around to buy a new one.
56. you start finding criminal activities more interesting than bad.
57. you think the best skin colour is milky white.
58. you learn to swordfight.
59. you forget irrelevant information.
60. you start imagining special effects every time you look at a text or make an observation.
61. you steeple your hands when you think or give great explanations.
62. in a cafe you transfixedly stare at the space around you with your hands put together, barely paying attention to your friend talking.
63. you say "obvious" to any fact, obvious or otherwise.
64. ...you tell someone to turn around because they're putting you off.
65. ...you tell people to come anyway, even if inconvenient.
66. ...your favourite body part of your friend is the fact they're shorter than you.
" ". !
