angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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 A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner. As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle. When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish. The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made.

The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow. The diner agrees.

The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish. When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small. He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies,

''Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins''.

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angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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Housework was a woman's job, but one evening, Jenny arrived home
from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!

It turns out that Ralph had read an article that said, 'Wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex'.

The night went very well. The next day, she told her office friends all about it. 'We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up the kitchen. He
helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening.'

'But what about afterward?' asked her friends.

'Oh, that ..., Ralph was too tired..'

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soul_sincerity (Learning_English) все записи автора

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Everybody here has got somebody to lean on.
Помогите, пожалуйста, перевести фразу правильно.

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zlodeykina (Learning_English) все записи автора

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Нужны небольшие истории( одна страница) на английском языке с каким либо нравственным уроком, тоесть про честность, ответственность, сострадание, самодисциплину итд.. Если кто что-нибудь может посоветовать, то пожалуйста помогите) 

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angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy whispers, 'Dark in here.'

The man says, 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have a football.'

Man - 'That's nice.'

Boy - 'Want to buy it?'

Man - 'No, thanks.'

Boy - 'My dad's outside.'

Man - 'OK, how much?'

Boy - '£250'

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy And the lover are in the cupboard together.

Boy - 'Dark in here.'

Man - 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have football boots.'


The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'

Boy - '£750'

Man - 'Sold.'

A few days later, the boy’s father says to the boy, 'Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of soccer.’

The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball and boots.'

The father asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'

Boy -'£1,000.'

The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost.

I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.'

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.


The boy says, 'Dark in here.'

The priest says, 'Don't start that again, you're in my cupboard now'

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angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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It was the first time they had flown together, and it was obvious by their silence that they didn't get along. After 30 minutes, the Captain finally spoke.
He said, "I don't like Chinese."
The First Officer replied, "Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why that?"
The Captain said, "You bombed Pearl Harbour. That's why I don't like Chinese."
The First Officer said, "Nooooo, noooo ... Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbour. That JAPANESE, not Chinese."
And the Captain answered, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese ... it doesn't matter. They're all alike."
Another 30 minutes of silence.
Finally the First Officer said, "No like Jew."
The Captain replied, "Why not? Why don't you like Jews?"
"Jews sink Titanic."
The Captain tried to correct him, "No, no. The Jews didn't sink the Titanic, it was an iceberg."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, Spielberg ... no mattah ... all same."

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Orbi-et_orbi (Learning_English) все записи автора

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 Помогите только перевести заголовки.

Calculated risks - мне кажется это связано с экономикой, либо это раздел в газете, но перевод со словаря "обдуманный риск" это не вариант.
Useful predictions
Exact translation
Expensive mistakes - я здесь не думаю, что это переводится как "дорогие ошибки"
Local knowledge - ближайшие знания?
Necessary annoyance

click

xoyk (Learning_English) все записи автора

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 "They say that blacks are inferior, because they like to dance and screw around. Excuse me? I love to dance. And as far as I'm concerned, screwing is next to godliness. "

Предполагаю, что шутка построена на игре слов screw around (болтаться без дела, и спать с кем попало), но смысл шутки ускользает. Сам монолог ведется от лица стереотипного гея. Понять не могу, как последнее предложение перевести.

P.S. монолог из шоу канадской комедийной труппы Kids in the Hall.

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Lace_jot (Learning_English) все записи автора

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Skipped a lesson — пропустил (прогулял) урок

Allowed a goal — пропустил шайбу

Had a drink — пропустил рюмку

Overlooked a typo — пропустил (не заметил) опечатку

Missed the point — пропустил (не уловил) мысль

Passed one’s turn — пропустил свой ход

Yielded to a pedestrian— пропустил  пешехода (уступил дорогу)

Let someone in— пропустил  кого-то внутрь

Missed out on a good show — пропустил  классную передачу

Left out some details — пропустил  (не стал упоминать) отдельные подробности

Omitted a letter — пропустил  букву (в слове)

Leaks — пропустил  воду

Conducts electricity — пропустил  ток

Run the wire through the hole — пропустил   провод  через дырку

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Lace_jot (Learning_English) все записи автора

 

Hand  is the part of the upper limb having a tactile and prehensile function, with a thumb opposable to the other fingers.