Чачело-волчачело (Learning_English) все записи автора

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Здравствуйте! У меня в самое ближайшее время очень важная работа по английскому. Я проработала её, но совершенно не уверена в правильности своих ответов. Проверьте пожалуйста, и, по возможности, объясните ошибки. Заранее огромное спасибо!

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angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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A true story and its source was the Australian Quarantine Inspection Service in Adelaide .

A bloke and his family were on holidays in the United States and went to Mexico for a week. An avid cactus fan, the man bought one-metre high,
rare and expensive cactus there. On arrival back home Australian Customs said it must be quarantined for 3 months.

He finally got his cactus home. Planted it in his backyard, and over time it grew to about 2 metres. One evening while watering
his garden after a warm spring day, he gave the cactus a light spray. He was amazed to see the plant shiver all over, he gave it another
spray and it shivered again.
He was puzzled so he rang the council who put him on to the state gardens people. After a few transfers he got the state's foremost
cactus expert who asked him many questions. How tall is it? Has it flowered? Etc.

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Rucci (Learning_English) все записи автора

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Кажется, я нашла ещё одну лакуну в русском языке. В английском языке человек, который оставляет чаевые, называется tipper. А у нас, кажется, такого слова нет. Или я ошибаюсь?...

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never_givin_up (Learning_English) все записи автора

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Many countries celebrate Valentine's Day on February 14th. This modern-day holiday is a celebration of love which gets its name from a Roman priest, Valentine, who secretly performed wedding ceremonies for Christian couples in the 3rd century.
Weeks before the fourteenth of February, shop windows are decorated with red paper hearts, red streamers and boxes of chocolates. Heart-shaped cakes and sweets are baked and gifts such as perfume and jewellery are promoted by department stores. Red roses are ordered from florists, dinner reservations are made and presents are bought in preparation for Valentine's Day. Even cards and small gifts are made by young children at school.
On Valentine's Day, many people wear something red, since it is considered to be the colour of love. Gifts, wrapped in shiny paper and red ribbons, are exchanged, women receive bouquets of flowers and people express their feelings to their loved ones. In the evening, many couples choose to dine at romantic restaurants while others enjoy spending time together at home.
Valentine's Day is a time to let people know how much you love and appreciate them. It is a day that makes everyone feel romantic and happy.

By Express Publishing

 

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never_givin_up (Learning_English) все записи автора

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Don’t ever say that you don’t have enough time.
You have exactly the same number of hours in a day that were given to Helen Keller, Louis Pasteur,
Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo Da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein.

Make best use of all the time you have. Once lost, you will never get it again…
(c)

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angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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 This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries…… but, now we know.
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race…you’re a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework …you’re a pansy.
If you work too hard…there’s never any time for her. If you don’t work enough…you’re a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay…this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay…..you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her…..that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you……it’s affirmative action.
If you mention how nice she looks……it’s sexual harassment. If you keep quiet……….it’s male indifference.
If you cry…………you’re a wimp. If you don’t……..you’re an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her………you’re a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you……she’s a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy……. that’s domination. If she asks you………it’s a favor.
If you appreciate the female form …..you’re a pervert. If you don’t ….you’re gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs, wear sexy lingerie and keep in shape ………….you’re sexist. If you don’t……………..you’re unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape……you’re vain. If you don’t ……..you’re a slob.
If you buy her flowers………….you’re after something. If you don’t ……..you’re not thoughtful.
If you’re proud of your achievements……..you’re full of yourself.
If you aren’t……. you’re not ambitious.
If she has a headache…………she’s tired. If you have a headache………….you don’t love her anymore.
If you want it too often………you’re over sexed. If you don’t…………….there must be someone else.
So why do men die first?
Because they want to.

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angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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 For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an 'Australian treasure!'

General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.

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Cigarette_Smoker (Learning_English) все записи автора

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 Не могу сделать элементарное упраженение=( С временами не дружила никогда, а задание заключается в том, чтобы слова в скобках поставить в нужную форму. Помогите, пожалуйста! 

 What a lot of hair-faced men there are around nowadays. When a man (grow) hair all over his face it (be) impossible to tell what he really (look) like. Maybe that's why he (do) it. Then there is the problem of washing. It must be a big job for hairy people. So what I want to know is this. How often hair-faced men (wash) their faces? And they (shampoo) it? They (use) a hairdryer?

И ещё одно. На месте пропусков надо вставить одно из возвратных местоимений.

1. Where have the children hidden _______?

2. Even the teacher  _______ hasn't heard of it. And has read so many books.

Помогиииите, буду очень признательна! Если кому нужна симпа, всегда пожалуйста!

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