Улыбайтесь - шеф любит идиотов!А на всех моих работах шефы меня не любили ...И это из-за моего рта , люблю выражать собственное мнение ..И вот и сейчас я пошёл на Гугль и попросил его перевести этот юмор , написанный на русском языке на английский язык..Так же можно было перевести и на другие языки ...А что Таня думает об этих переводах...!?

Russian to English translation
Everyone wants to leave mark on history, but most of these tracks resemble cow dung

Branching antlers husband is directly proportional to his wife's shapely legs.

The value of love joys highly overrated: poses ridiculous, the pleasure momentary, the costs are enormous.

Earning money to hump necessarily become Quasimodo.

Marriage - it's too expensive fee free postiranye socks.

Married life - every day of the war, and every night a truce ...

Nobody's going to marry his own wife. Marry his fiancee, but it was a completely different person.

Love is eternal ... only the partners change.


In the tangle of contradictions - the ends do not otyschesh.

All the best evades the meeting, and all the very worst comes to contact.

In women, abhors a vacuum as the heart, and quite another place.

Naivety - stupidity with mitigating circumstances

Half of all people - idiots and the other consists of people rather dishonest to use it.

How many goals is not mine, but thought would not be clean ...

If you scream and shout You do not hear, if you mashesh poster and you do not see it coming when is the only way to get noticed - something they throw.

Do not complain to life, could not be it.

Nice to live not forbid. But you can prevent ...

If abortion is murder, then blowjob - it's cannibalism

Nothing strengthens the faith in man, as a prepayment.

From their mistakes people learn from others - make a career.

Cigarette you smoke shortens your life by 2 hours, drunk a bottle of vodka - for 3 hours. Working day shortens your life by 8 hours.

Having a desire - is looking for an opportunity that does not have the desire - is looking for a reason.

A man tired of fighting and pretends pomudrel.

Clever idea differs from the silly - the head, into which it comes.

Great art and great just because they are understandable and accessible to all.

If builders built buildings as well as programmers write programs, first flown woodpecker would destroy civilization.

The army is allowed to complain only for a short life!

Whatever your health, it will suffice until the end of life.

Possibilities of medicine are limitless! Limited capacity of patients ...

If you want breakfast in bed - sleep in the kitchen.

Inside each apple, as a rule, is a stub.

Nothing is more color table, as in Olivier petard!

On the taste of potassium cyanide will tell you in that light

The honest kid does not love her father and mother, and rolls with cream.

If the first attempt failed, skydiving is not for you.

In order to eat less than cows and more milk, they need less food and more milk.

Hosorog very bad seeing. Ho in his weight is no longer his problem.

Easily and not pull the fish from the pond, and without the pond does not get it out with difficulty.

If a person does not respond to your letters, it means he is busy some other, more important stuff.

The right moment comes at the worst possible time.

Personally, I put money in the vodka! Where else can you get 40%?

Alcohol - it's anesthesia, which allows to transfer operation called life.

GAI - like primitive people: hunting and gathering.

The word "no" still remains the best means of contraception ...

Cell phone - the only thing that men face off, who have less.

Only birthday to see how many in the world of unnecessary things.

Perpetual motion machine. 12 months warranty.

What ydobpyali, then vyposlo.

What you break, as a virgin after the fifth abortion?

That joke is bad, from which the bones ache.

First, let sort out than I was fed, and then to complain that I'm looking into the woods.

In dispute is useful to go over to the opponent - and thence to strike!

Human life is like a box of matches. Treat it seriously - is ridiculous. Treat lightly - it is dangerous.

Hard to believe that anyone, having lived the life, would not consider it to heart failure.

Two times is not live, but there are many such, and that once can not live.

Much of life is made up of mistakes and missteps, and the rest - from attempts to correct them.

In life there are moments for which you do not wish to part with the world

Life is like a merrymaking: some come for them to compete, some to trade, and the most happy - look ...

The likelihood that someone behind you watches, proportional stupidity of your actions.

Truth is not born of truth. The truth is born from errors.

If you ever laugh at you - so you bring joy to people.

Positive emotions - emotions that arise, if at all put it.

People are usually plagued by their neighbors under the pretext of wishing them well.

Do not ask me questions and I will not lie to you.

The less people think, the more they say.

Do not try to live forever, you do not work.

You should not play with destiny: it is completely devoid of humor.

Everyone has the right to be stupid

People - the lion in his own eyes.

Where it is forbidden to laugh, there is usually, and you can not cry.

Some people think that they have a life. This is misleading - in fact it is their life ...

Nothing is more tiring as waiting for a train. Especially when you're down on the rails.

Gentleman - is the one who always calls a cat a cat, even if he tripped and fell on her.

Plug the throat of a fool - not polite, but let him continue - just cruel.

Only enemies speak the truth to each other. Friends and lovers, entangled in a web of mutual debts, lie endlessly.

The fire of love burns brighter if toss money into it.

Problems in men do not start when a woman begins to undress for his money, and then - when it begins to wear on them.

If a man gives a woman everything she asks, then she asks too little.

The girl wants to first walk through the restaurants to see whether or not the guy to go to bed. A guy wants to quickly put the girl in bed in order to understand - whether it led to restaurants?

The weaker sex is strong owing to the weakness of the stronger sex for the weaker sex ..

A translation - as a woman. If kpasiv then nevepen if vepen then nekpasiv.

Attractive women are distracting.

Women need to be worn on the hands - on the neck, they will sit down for yourself.

Never tell a woman that you are not worthy of her love, she knows it.

Materially concerned, housing puzzled, sexually assured.

Do not believe a woman when you love her, believe she loves you.

To the heart of a girl is best suited key from Mercedes.

Girls are not enough femininity, and women - virginity.

Prince can be a lifetime to wait, but needs a man every day!

The Perfect Man - a combination of vibrator and ATM.

Moral standards of some men is based only on the fact that they have no money.

The most stable family - one person.

Friend's wife is always prettier than one wife.

Stupid husband berates his wife, and smart - a: for the fact that married her.

Customs does not take bribes - it throws at them!

Right to make mistakes is one, and only those who bring their chain to its logical end, is responsible for all the full program.

You slow down and without a car you love.

If you suddenly find the meaning of life, it's time to consult a psychiatrist.

Justice, unfortunately, is not an economic category.

How many stupid things can make a confusing business with pleasure.

Selfish, of course, unpleasant, but it is easy to predict and manage.

Windows - it's like impotence: first, does not arise, then, at the critical moment, falls.

Life - it's the turn of death, and a fool who wants to get through without waiting in line!

Errors that we are potentially able to accomplish in his short life so that we can not afford to repeat them.

As a result of brainstorming sessions often turn out to be woken up only instincts.

History does not yet know of such examples that one could not hide.

As with any masochist, he waited in his life but good.

Brain - the only person who thinks body, but by no means the only decision maker.

A kind word and a gun can achieve much more than just a kind word.

Democracy - it's a nice interface to the shitty algorithm

Modesty adorns, but leaves hungry.

Life - a book of missed opportunities, and only death as the exception that proves the rule is precisely that opportunity that we never lose.

The man laughs or when he is funny, or when the boss was joking.

Of the flies can be an elephant, but fly it will be gone.

Your thoughts are so brilliant that the medics have arrived!

No such peaks, which would not have reached a donkey laden with gold.

Snob, even in a mirror maze, believes that he is surrounded by some idiots.

We only build monuments - higher and higher, and to remember we are not able to ...

The broader horizons - the dumber the angle of view.

If the effort spent on the study of female breasts, would be aimed at the space program, now would be on the moon already hard at producing "hot dogs".

To each his own, as different and strange.

If the thief climbed into your empty pocket, it does not prove his unselfishness.

A truly clever man who knows how to hide his agility.

Head is not always right, but he was always the boss.

In the bath are all equal. Boss is taking a sauna.

Who is the last, he and dad.

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