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Alina Semukha(USA).


: ()(111), Yosef Litos (Israel)(146), Willy G.(Germany) ..(456), Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)(3436)

: (4), (Yiddish Lessons)(52), (2099), (628), (621), (3589), .(2510), Humor..(1718), History..(449), Becoming a Vegetarian(480), 1969-1978 ع20 (74), 70- 10 (190)
(0)

Alina Semukha (USA)- A man with a Lamborghini. ( )

, 12 2011 . 08:14 +

 

LamborghiniLogo.png

 

 

A man who has finally made it in business treats himself to a new Lamborghini.

After buying it, he feels guilty, so he goes to the Orthodox Rabbi and
asks for a mezuzah for the Lamborghini.

"You want a mezuzah for what?" the Rabbi asks.
"For my Lamborghini," he answers.
"What's a Lamborghini?" asks the Rabbi .
"A sports car."
"What? That's blasphemy!" the Rabbi shouts. "You want a mezuzah for a
sports car?

Go to the Conservatives!"

Well, the man is disappointed, but goes to the Conservative Rabbi and
asks for a mezuzah.
"You want a mezuzah for what?" the Rabbi asks.
"For my Lamborghini,," the man replies.
"What's a Lamborghini?" asks the Rabbi .
"A car, a sports car."
"What kind of sports car?" asks the Rabbi ..
"It's Italian."
"What? That is blasphemy!" the Rabbi shouts. "You want a mezuzah for a
Goyishe car?

Go to the Reform!"

Again, the man feels guilty and disappointed, but goes to the Reform Rabbi .
"Rabbi," he asks, "I'd like a mezuzah for my Lamborghini."
"You have a Lamborghini?" asks the Rabbi .
"You know what it is?" says the man.
"Of course! It's a fantastic Italian sports car. What's a mezuzah?"

 

 

 

/Alina Semukha(USA)
Humor..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) Eric Hoffer in 1968 on Jews and Israel (prescient)-( )

, 20 2010 . 09:36 +

Search Results

  1. Eric Hoffer - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Eric Hoffer (July 25, 1902 – May 21, 1983) was an American social writer and philosopher. He produced ten books and was awarded the Presidential Medal of ...
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Hoffer - Cached - Similar
  2. The Eric Hoffer Resource

...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
Humor..
History..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) I think we all need a laugh !!!!!

, 20 2010 . 09:08 +

 

 


 

 

I think we all need a laugh !!!!!

 

 

 

I dialed a number and got the following recording:** **

"I am not available right now, but

Thank you for caring enough to call.

I am making some changes in my life.

Please leave a message after the

Beep. If I do not return your call,

You are one of the changes."

**************************************************

 

A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother."

Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER."

**************************************************

 

What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress.

**************************************************

 

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?*

Stress is when wife is pregnant,*

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,*

and Panic is when both are pregnant.*

**************************************************

 

A woman asks man who is traveling with six children,

"Are all these kids yours?"*

The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these

are customer complaints".

**************************************************

 

A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"*

Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.

Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential."

**************************************************

 

Nominated as the best short joke this year...

A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.

     

 

Alina

 

/Alina Semukha(USA)
.
Humor..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) - ( )

, 19 2010 . 20:05 +


/Alina Semukha(USA)
.
Humor..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) ( )

, 11 2010 . 20:02 +

" " " "
   40 .


   " "
  
   :
   " , ".
   ,
   : "
   ".

...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
.
Humor..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) - ""( )

, 11 2010 . 19:08 +
 Google
 
: >
 

...

( )
Missed a genius ...


PAINTING AND POLICY (FAILED landscape)


The history of the twentieth century would have been different, if one person took time at the Vienna Academy of Fine Arts.
...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
.
History..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) The Swedish Virgin( )

, 11 2010 . 16:00 +
The Swedish Virgin
Olof Swenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, takes a
lightning-quick kick from a cow...right in his crotch. Writhing in
agony, he falls to the ground.

As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said
'How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my
fiance, Lena , is still a Virgin - in every vay.'

The doctor told him, 'Olof, I'll have to put your willy in a splint to
let it heal, and keep it straight. It should be okay next week, but
leave it in there as long as you can. He took four tongue depressors
and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all
together...quite an impressive work of art.

Olof mentions none of this to Lena, marries her, and they go on their
honeymoon to Duluth .

That night in the motel 6, Lena rips open her blouse to reveal her
beautiful, untouched breasts. She said, 'Olof...you' re the first
vun! No vun has EVER seen deez.'

Olof immediately drops his pants and replies, 'Look at dis Lena
..still in DA CRATE!
 
 Google
: >
 
1. .
2. .
3. .
4. .
5. 72 , .
6. 72 , - ...
7. - - , 72 ?
8. - , , .
9. .
10. 72 , ...
 
הבתולה שוודית
אולוף סוונסון, מתוך באחו שלו במינסוטה הצפוני, לוקח
לבעוט במהירות הבזק של פרה ... ממש מפשעתו. מתפתל
ייסורים, הוא נופל על האדמה.

ברגע שהוא הצליח, הוא לקח את עצמו לרופא. הוא אמר
"כמה זה גרוע דוק? אני הולך על ירח הדבש שלי veek הבא שלי
הארוס, לנה, היא עדיין בתולה - ב ויי כל ".

הרופא אמר לו, "אולוף, אני אצטרך לשים את וילי סד ל
לתת לו להחלים, ולשמור אותו ישר. זה צריך להיות בשבוע הבא בסדר, אבל
להשאיר אותו שם זמן רב ככל שתוכל. הוא לקח ארבע depressors הלשון
יצרו סד מסודר מעט 4 צדדיים, והדביקה את כל זה
יחד ... ממש עבודה מרשימה של אמנות.

אולוף מזכיר אף אחד זה כדי לנה, מתחתן איתה, והם הולכים על שלהם
ירח הדבש כדי דולות.

באותו לילה במוטל 6, לנה קורע לפתוח את חולצתה כדי לחשוף אותה
יפה, שדיים לא נגעה. היא אמרה, "אולוף ... אתה הראשון
vun! vun לא ראה מעולם deez. "

אולוף מיד טיפות מכנסיו משיב, "תסתכל דיס לנה
.. עדיין התובע ארגז!


 

/Alina Semukha(USA)
.
Humor..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) -Rabbi and Pope (read to the very end)( )

, 11 2010 . 15:25 +

!

 Google
 

Rabbi and Pope (read to the very end)

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to
Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish
community, so the Pope offered a deal: he'd have a religious debate with the
leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy;
if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave 

  The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them
in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no
Yiddish
, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate. 
...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
.
Humor..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) -Happy Chanukah( )

, 02 2010 . 14:11 +
 
 
 
 
...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
70- 10
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) P( )

, 01 2010 . 21:06 +
 
 
segodnya.ua

.
salat.zahav.ru 29.11.2010 15:14 | : 14064 |

28 ,   , . 

, "" (Imedical), . - …

...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA)- ( )

, 01 2010 . 09:58 +

Alina Semukha(USA)- ( )

Judgments

, 01 2010 . 09:40
4 0
. 25499 15 2010 .

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/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
/ ()
.
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) - ( )

, 29 2010 . 17:19 +

 


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/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.
Humor..


Alina Semukha(USA)- - ( )

, 29 2010 . 17:07 +

- - , !


- - , .
, .
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

.



, -
.

, 2010

- ,
.
, 1927

...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)

Humor..
History..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA)Life experience( )

, 18 2010 . 07:22 +

 

 Google
 
 
 
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18.11.2010   : >
Place an enema can not be changed!
  
  
Born himself by helping others.
  
If dandruff is moving, it means the head lice.
  
In America, everything is done through one place.
And this place - the Internet.
  
If you want to look young and slim - keep close to old and fat.
  
The best way to organize a panic, to ask everyone to keep calm.
  
  
I can not collect my thoughts: I'm busy, they are!
  
For that to take - anywhere nice!
  
Money is just not an evil, evil does not disappear so quickly.
  
Toilet paper - the only white band in my life, and then it all trying to zasrat!
  
The soul wants to romance, and pop adventure!
  
Life is like toilet paper!
It seems that long, and spend on shit!
  
Pure neat apartment and a delicious dinner - two signs faulty computer ..
  
Happiness - it's when you're all jealous and shit can not ...
  
Intuition - the ability to sense head booty.
  
  
  
Internet as a life: do nothing, but do not want to leave ...
  
Nothing so relieves drowsiness as a cup of strong, sweet, hot coffee spilled on my stomach!
  
Lesson nonsense in the workplace develops a hearing, vigilance and peripheral vision !!!!!!
  
  
All that is done, is done in China ....
)))
  
Do not regret the past - it is because you are not spared!
  
  
  
If you become like a photograph in the passport, so time for you to leave.
  
  
  
The air is not felt until it was spoiled.
  
A pedestrian is always right.
Still alive.
  
Modesty makes the man.
In a gray color ..
  
People without excess weight more than anything in the cemetery.
  
The hottest girls in the bath.
  
Him so many times gadili soul, that he looked like a toilet.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 (627x531, 42Kb)
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA)Why A Good Bottle Of Wine Costs So Much( )

, 18 2010 . 06:44 +

 

Why A Good Bottle Of Wine Costs So Much

I was at a friend's house recently and he offered me a glass of wine. It was a very good French wine, so I wrote down the name and vintage and stopped by the local liquor store the next day to purchase a bottle.

When they told me it was twenty-five dollars a bottle I was going to opt for something in the ten to fifteen dollar range. However, the shop owner showed me a chart that explained why some wines are more expensive, and after he explained it to me I bought two bottles of the more expensive wine. I asked him for a copy of his chart so I could share it with you online.

If you like a good wine and have stayed away from the more expensive wines, this information may convince you as to why it is more desirable to go for the more expensive brands.
...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) - ( )

, 16 2010 . 09:09 +

 

.

«» . ...


... «» - . , . , , – « ».

, . , .
...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
Humor..

History..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) 2 .

, 11 2010 . 08:09 +


:

FINALLY — A great alternative to body scanners at airports...

The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners at the airports.
It’s a booth you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you. They see this as a win-win for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It also would eliminate the costs of a long and expensive trial.
Justice would be swift. Case closed!
Just think: You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system... "Attention standby passengers — we now have a seat available on flight number XXXX. Shalom!"



:

, .
, . , - . , . . . !
: , . ... " , XXXX. !"



, - , :-)

/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) ( )

, 10 2010 . 22:41 +

http://botinok.co.il/node/62248

: roman56 , 2009-12-02 00:08

 

. . – . , . – IQ. . .

 

 

– – , , , , , . , , («», «») , . , .

 

. , . -  IQ. , , , – , .

...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)

.
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) ...

, 10 2010 . 14:32 +

  B B H ?

 

, : - ?  : - , . : - , . : - ,                 T, H B, - Y M B C !!!!!!!!!!!!

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,  ,  .

1990-
..
1991-
o.
 
1994- .
1995- .

2009- ...

 

 .  -  .

/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) "" . ( )

, 10 2010 . 14:08 +
 : 


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,
,
. -

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"" - "".
"" , ""
, ""
.
...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) ZEN OF SARCASM

, 09 2010 . 19:18 +
 Google
 
  2

 
9.11.2010.  

The Zen of Sarcasm

(1)  Do not walk behind me,
 for I may not lead. 
 Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either. 
 Just pretty much leave me alone.

(2)   It's  always darkest before  dawn. 
 So  if you're going
to steal your neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it.

(3)  Don't be irreplaceable. 
 If you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.

(4)  Always remember that you're unique. 
 Just like everyone else.

(5)  Never test the depth of the water
 with both feet.

(6)  If you think nobody cares if you're alive,
 try missing a couple of car payments.

(7)   Before you criticize someone,
you should walk a mile in their shoes. 
 That way, when  you criticize them,
 you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

(8)   If at first  you don't succeed,
skydiving is probably not for  you.

(9)   Give a man a  fish and he will eat for a day.
  Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit  in a boat and drink beer all day.

(10)   If you lend someone $20 and never see
 that person again,
it was probably a wise investment.

(11)   If you tell  the truth,
you don't have to remember anything.

(12)    Some days  you're the bug;
some days you're the wind shield.  

(13)   Everyone  seems normal
until you get to know them.

(14)   The quickest  way to double your money
 is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

(15)   A closed mouth
 gathers no foot.

(16)   There are two theories
to arguing with women.
Neither one works.

(17)   Generally speaking,
 you aren't learning
much
when your lips are moving.

(18)   Experience  is something
 you don't get
 until just after you need  it.

(19)   Never miss a good chance
 to shut up.

(20) 
  Never, under any circumstances,
 take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
9.11.2010.

: >

 
Zen :
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/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA)-"! !"

, 08 2010 . 19:01 +

 

Yury Luchinsky /


 

 

2010-2
[info]ment52
5 , 9:49
Originally posted by [info]storyofgrubas at
1941 . . . . , , . , , .
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...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.

History..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) Old Jewish Man At Western Wall!

, 08 2010 . 18:40 +

Ahhhhh……the wisdom of the ages.
 
 
 

Old Jewish Man At Western Wall!

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.

So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?

"Morris Feinberg," he replied.

"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"


"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop. I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a f##king wall."
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) -South Africf needs your help( ) )

, 07 2010 . 12:25 +

 

 
 
 
 
White South African Farmers Considering Resettlement to Former Soviet Georgia
Report; Posted on: 2010-10-26 14:57:22 [ Printer friendly / Instant flyer ]
Maybe next time--if there is a next time--they won't vote for their own destruction again.

On October 9, 2010 Georgian TV news program aired a detailed report about plans for the resettlement of white farmers of South Africa to Georgia. This program has become in fact an official announcement about the project.

In addition to interviews with the Boers and reportage from South Africa, the program shows Boers visiting Georgia and the signing in late August 2010 of a memorandum of cooperation between the Georgian government and the Organization of
the farmers of South Africa, uniting 41,000 Afrikaner families, approx. 150 thousand people.

Plans are not only real but are already under implementation.

Speaking on Georgian TV, the representative of white farmers said that the South African government is forcing white farmers give away 30% of their land to the blacks. But black farmers do not produce anything and do not want to produce.

 
And so, Georgia made an offer to the white farmers. Minister of Diaspora Affairs of Georgia and the South African farmers' organization have signed a memorandum at the end of August 2010. It's main point is to offer Transvaal farmers to move and transfer their agricultural businesses to Georgia.

Minister for Diaspora Affairs says that Georgia is ready to receive all the white farmers of South Africa - 41,000 families (about 150 thousand people), give them land for free and simplify obtaining all the necessary documents.

It is assumed that, like at home, the Boers in Georgia will be engaged in wine production and animal husbandry. The first farmer from South Africa, William De Klerk had already received Georgian citizenship.
 

"The idea of the Georgian government to bring the farmers here is very good. They can contribute a lot to Georgia. The situation in South Africa is getting worse every day. If Georgia will guarantee the personal safety of Boer farmers and their property, then this initiative will have great success "- says De Klerk.

The head of the organization of Transvaal farmers: "Every farmer must decide whether or not he will go to Georgia. Here (in South Africa) our main problem is the security. Since the black majority came to the government, more than 3000 farmers have been murdered. Often even the police takes part in the attacks. We do not know if we will have any land left. We have great experience and we are well known on the international market. "

Just six weeks after the signing of the memorandum, in early October, the delegation of Transvaal farmers arrived in Georgia. The delegation inspected in detail the proposed land and met with officials, acquainted with the general situation in Georgia. The Interior Minister Vano Merabishvili personally told them about the situation in the country and demonstrated the effectiveness of the Georgian police. Farmers received personal number plates as a gift from the minister and got issued Georgian international driving licenses in 10 minutes. In South Africa, this process takes 3 months. The Boers also had a rugby match with a team of Georgian officials, but special attention was paid to the viticulture - in fact the main occupation of the farmers, along with livestock, is wine making, they produce the world famous South African wines. The Boers took part in rtveli (traditional grape harvest) in Kakheti and learned about Saperavi - a unique Georgian red wine grape of late maturing, from which famous wine of the same name is made. The delegation recorded in detail the entire trip, video footage will be shown to all members of farmers' associations (41 thousand families) in South Africa, who will see and hear what their representatives saw Georgia.

And here's a video from a SA news channel


">.


http://www.anunews.net/blog/?p=12777

White South African Farmers Considering Resettlement to Former Soviet Georgia

 

A murdered White South African farmer

On October 9, 2010 Georgian TV news program aired a detailed report about plans for the resettlement of white farmers of South Africa to Georgia. This program has become in fact an official announcement about the project. In addition to interviews with the Boers and reportage from South Africa, the program shows Boers visiting Georgia and the signing in late August 2010 of a memorandum of cooperation between the Georgian government and the Organization of the farmers of South Africa, uniting 41,000 Afrikaner families, approx. 150 thousand people. Plans are not only real but are already under implementation. http://www.wvwnews.net/story.php?id=9431

/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.

History..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) Friends come and go. Enemies accumulate.

, 07 2010 . 10:57 +
 
Subject: 2

 
 07.11.10
 

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 truth
 
07.11.10

Friends come and go. Enemies accumulate.

> Depression - a castle in the air when collapsed and crushed the builder.

> Life - as a telegram, short and with errors!

> Old age - this is where the future becomes the present.

> If you feel that you tupeesh - do not worry.
Become blunt can only be smart.

> People love to save money and they are willing to pay any price for it.

> Lives saved by you, it may be your own.

> The Indians fully repaid the world for the murder, giving him tobacco.

> Usually goats women call the men, whom they failed to make the sheep ...

> Lack of information creates a light euphoria, and its surplus - severe depression.
 
> Bladder - he as the heart.
He will not order.
 
> To maintain a good figure of a woman needs only three things: a trainer, masseur and admirer.

> If you really breaking anything, then there will always be those who will inflate out of this fire.
 
> If the truth really against you, turn back to her, and she will be yours.
 

-
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) The Perfect Husband

, 01 2010 . 05:10 +
 
The Perfect Husband
 
 

Several men are in the locker room at the golf club.

 A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk.

 Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: ‘Hello’

WOMAN: ‘Darling, it’s me. Are you at the club ?’

MAN: ‘Yes’

WOMAN: ‘I am at Bluewater and I’ve found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only £500. Is it OK if I buy it?’

MAN: ‘Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.’

WOMAN: ‘I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership on the way here and saw the new 2010 Models. I saw one I really liked.’

MAN: ‘How much ?’

WOMAN: ‘£65,000′

MAN: ‘OK, but for that price please make sure you haggle for all the optional extras.’

WOMAN: ‘Great ! Oh, and one more thing…the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking £750,000.’

MAN: ‘Well, if you still like it that much, why not make an offer of £700K. They will probably take it.

 If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if you think it’s worth it.’

WOMAN: ‘OK. I’ll see you later ! I love you so much !’

MAN: ‘Bye ! I love you, too.’

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.

He turns and asks: “Anyone know who this phone belongs to ?”

/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
Humor..


(1)

Alina Semukha(USA) - ...

, 27 2010 . 09:48 +
 Google
 
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The Japanese have invented a watch that he heard mat jump for a minute ahead.
Decided to try something.
Hung in a Japanese bar for 24 hours.
After 24 hours, come and watch is 2 minutes ahead.
Hung in the English bar.
After 24 hours, come and watch is 5 minutes ahead.
Hung in a Russian bar. After 24 hours, come - not hours!
They are suited to the bartender:
- Yesterday we hung up here and watch where they are?
Bartender (surprised):
- Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ... . so it was a clock? And we thought - x% I us the fan in winter?
 
 

: >


日本人は、彼が先分間マットジャンプを聞いて時計を発明した。
何かを試すことにした。
ハングアップした24時間のための日本語バーに表示されます。
24時間後に、来て、先の2分です監視します。
Hungさんは、バーを英語で24時間後に、来て、見て先に5分です。
ハングロシアバーに表示されます。 24時間後に来る - は時間を!彼らはバーテンダーに適しています:
- 昨日ここでハングアップし、それらがどこにあるか見て?
バーテンダー(びっくり):
- ああ、ああああああああは... ので、クロックでしたか?そして、私たちは考えた - x%の私たちにファンを冬には?
 (400x450, 49Kb)
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.

Humor..


(0)

KRASOTA -/ ( )

, 25 2010 . 23:08 +

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/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) - - ( )

, 24 2010 . 10:09 +

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/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) ?( )

, 23 2010 . 10:13 +
 
kstati.net

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kstati.net
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) ( )

, 20 2010 . 23:07 +
-
 

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- « »
Copyright © 2000-2010 - «»
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/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)



(0)

Alina Semukha(USA)

, 17 2010 . 10:44 +

 

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 (700x525, 246Kb)
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA)

, 16 2010 . 14:40 +

 




             

  - , ,   . ED  KOCH,   , .
...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.

History..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA),Metargem72-Little Johnny the arab ( )

, 11 2010 . 09:38 +

Smile Little Johnny the arab

Mohammad, an Arab child, entered his classroom on the
first day of school in Ohio .
"What is your name?" – asked the teacher. "Mohammad". answered the kid.
You are in America now. From now on your name will be Johnny," –replied the teacher.
In the evening, Mohammad returned home. "How was your
day, Mohammad?" – asked his mother. "My name is not Mohammad. I’m in America and now my name is Johnny."
"Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!" –
and she beat him.Then she called his father and he too beat him.
The next day Mohammad returned to school.. When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked, "What happened to you little Johnny"?
"Well ma'am,
4 hours after becoming an American, I was attacked by two f#ckin' Arabs."
 
 Google
دخل محمد وهو طفل العربي ،
الفصول الدراسية له على

اليوم الأول من المدرسة في ولاية أوهايو.
"ما هو اسمك؟"
 -- طلب المعلم.
"محمد".
أجاب الطفل.
كنت في أمريكا الآن.
 من الآن فصاعدا سوف يكون لديك اسم جوني "
 
، أجاب المعلم.
في المساء ، عاد محمد المنزل.
 "كيف كان لديك
سأل والدته -- يوم محمد؟ ".
"ليس اسمي محمد ،
 وأنا في أمريكا ،
 والآن اسمي جوني".
"آه ، هل تخجل من اسمك ،
 هل تحاول العار والديك ،
 
التراث الخاص ، دينك؟
عار عليكم "! --
وفاز .
 إنها دعا والده وفاز أيضا له.
محمد عاد في اليوم التالي إلى المدرسة..
عندما رآه المعلم مع كدمات جميع سألت ،
 
"ماذا حدث لك جوني
"حسنا يا سيدتي ،
 4 ساعات بعد أن أصبحت مواطنا أميركيا ،
 
أنا تعرضت لهجوم من قبل اثنين من   العرب 

f#ckin'

/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.
Humor..


(0)

Metargem72,Alina Semukha(USA) -Tarzan( )

, 10 2010 . 15:52 +

Tarzan

I was at the store yesterday,
  and I ran into Tarzan! 
 
I asked him how it was going and
 if he was going to be making any more movies.
 
 
 
He told me that he could no
longer make any more
movies as he had severe arthritis
in both shoulders
and could no longer swing from
vine to tree.

I asked how Jane was doing,
he told me she was
in bad shape, in a 
nursing home,
has Alzheimer's
and no longer recognizes anyone.
How sad.
 
.
 
I asked about Boy,
and he told me that Boy had
gone to the big city,
got hooked up with bad women,
drugs, alcohol,
and the only times he heard
from him was when
he was in trouble or needed
something.
    
            
 
I asked about Cheeta,
he beamed and said she
was doing good. She married a
lawyer, had gotten some
plastic surgery, and now lived
in the White House !!!
 
   

I was at the store yesterday and ran I’m sure that those who didn’t like the Sarah Palin, Michelle Obama and evolution joke will scream at this one. Enjoy.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) ,Metargem72- ( )

, 10 2010 . 10:55 +
-- [ + !]

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/rus/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html

, : , – , , – . .

Translated into Russian by a translation agency
Reviewed by tedxru
Comments? Please email the translators above.

About Jill Bolte Taylor

Brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor studied her own stroke as it happened -- and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery. Full bio and more links

Click here to find out more!

Interactive Transcript

Click on any phrase to play the video from that point.

 

/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)



(0)

Merilyn (USA)? Metargem72- ( )

, 08 2010 . 13:17 +
 
 
, - , , , ».
************************************************************
 Write us ,as you wrote in our young time , in the year 2003 .

 
My dear dear Ed,
 
thank you for 'remembering' me..It is not that I have forgotten you...but my days are just not as long as yours....you KNOW HOW TO MAKE TIME....
 
I remember you once told me that you don't want me to send to you any thing about 'what my feelings are about what is going on in Israel'...at that time, I didn't realize what a wise man you are.
 
I AM OVERWHELMED HERE with reading material...and you are right...it is the same 'crapola' every day and it gets worse and worse...the news with Israel...with the USA and our HORRIBLE 'MUSLIM' PRESIDENT HUSSEIN OBAMA...and the economy...and the crazy weather conditions we experienced this past year...record falling snow storms...record heat wave ...and for Succot...the RAINS didn't stop...my grandson said that HaShem needs a GPS...
 
because he said we had all  prayed FOR RAIN FOR ISRAEL...but HaShem is so mixed up that he sent it to the USA instead.
 
Besides all this...I just don't have the time to read 'jokes' and or 'beautiful essays/ poetry...
 
and for sure it is all repeats...plus I have gotten like you...I do NOT want to hear about any 'news'...it is quite depressing ...doesn't anything ever good 'sell newspapers' or attract the media to 'announce'???  Seems like the answer is no.
 
So what has been keeping me so busy? I guess number 1 is 'health' problems...but now it is all passed...but because of this 'big' scare that I had in June 2009...I am trying to get my house in order so my kids won't come in and say...'what the hell did mom save this for?'....one of my 'biggest' of projects is to assort and restore color to the thousands of photos I have..before my 'obituary' goes into the paper.
 
Will I ever complete this? Maybe a good thing that I have so much to do...because G-d put me on this earth to do a certain amount of things...and since I need many years to complete it all...HE CAN'T TAKE ME  FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER 120 YEARS!
 
and then there are the 'usual'  issues...aggravation from the kids/  grandkids...but of course 'blessings'  too...that is life...as the expression goes: 'never a dull moment'.
 
so that is where I have been...I apologize but I just don't have the 'time'to read your 'list' / where most of the time I would have to translate it into English 'before' I ever begin..so that is the story...in all these years associating with Russian Jews..you would think that 'already' I would speak fluently Russian...but it never went into my head...
 
So all my love and hugs and kisses to you and to your wife...and how is your precious granddaughter....how old is she already? I am attaching 2 photos...one of Billy and myself and the other of my entire family. These were taken June 27 2010...my 70th birthday.
 
I went to sleep and I was 25...and woke up to be told: Today is your birthday...your 70th! HMMMM??? where? did all those years go to? was I sleeping? through them all?
 
Marilyn
...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.

History..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA),Metargem72- ..( )

, 08 2010 . 09:31 +
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.
Humor..

History..

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA) ,Metargem72 -Oh my GOD!!

, 06 2010 . 21:28 +

6.10.10 . ,   . .. (session ) . , , . .. , , , .

CATHOLIC COFFEE session!!

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee..

The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”

A Father

The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”

A bishop

A bishop

The third Catholic gent says, “My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says ‘Your Eminence’.”

The Cardinals

These are the Cardinals

The fourth Catholic man then says, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’.”

The present Pope Benedict XVI

The present Pope- Benedict XVI

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, “Well….?”

….

……

……….

She proudly replies, “I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24″ waist and 34″ hips. When she walks into a room, people say, “Oh My God.”

Oh my GOD!!

Talkkok wishes everybody a Merry Christmas & A Happy New YEar 2010!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my GOD!!

/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.
Humor..


(0)

Alina Semukha(USA)This guy is good.......................enjoy!

, 03 2010 . 12:22 +

3.10.10  . , Steve Bridges,George W Bush,Obama. ..

This guy is good.......................enjoy!

You all recall Steve Bridges, who imitated George W Bush, during the entire eight years he was president .
He looked and acted almost exactly like Bush and was well received by the audience.
He has now started imitating Obama and "nails" it.    Click below
 

 
 
 
    http://www.stevebridges.com/obamavideos-promo-jan2010-lg.html 

  Watch both Parts I and  II

 
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.
Humor..


(2)

Alina Semukha(USA),-Metargem72-2.10.10- ( )

, 02 2010 . 09:35 +
Regina_Jung [ + !]

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 (268x258, 55Kb)
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
.
70- 10
Humor..


(0)

Metargem72-1.10.10. .

, 01 2010 . 09:54 +
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 (700x525, 272Kb) 

The Hotel Bill

An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of London 's most expensive hotels.

When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00.

She explode and demanded to know why the charge was so high.

 
It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth £250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast."

The clerk told her that £250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use.

 
 
 
 

'But I didn't use them," she said.

''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.

He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from Edinburgh, Glasgow , and Aberdeen performing here," the Manager said.

"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!"

The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a cheque and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque. "But madam, this cheque is only made out for £50.00." ''That's correct. I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

Don't mess with Senior Citizens

 

 

 

 

 

/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)

.
Humor..
1969-1978 ع20


(0)

Metargem72-Alina Semukha(USA).30.09.10. . ... ( )

, 30 2010 . 04:41 +
Alina Semukha (USA)
 
Interesting Site with many nice clips!
E N J O Y !!!  
http://ourtube.narod.ru/l/wa03.html
 
 
- .
 
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Daily Poems - 29.09.2010

 
The Good, Great Man

"How seldom, friend! a good great man inherits
Honour or wealth with all his worth and pains!
It sounds like stories from the land of spirits
If any man obtain that which he merits
Or any merit that which he obtains."

Reply to the Above

For shame, dear friend, renounce this canting strain!
What would'st thou have a good great man obtain?
Place? titles? salary? a gilded chain?
Or throne of corses which his sword had slain?
Greatness and goodness are not means, but ends!
Hath he not always treasures, always friends,
The good great man? three treasures, LOVE, and LIGHT,
And CALM THOUGHTS, regular as infant's breath:
And three firm friends, more sure than day and night,
HIMSELF, his MAKER, and the ANGEL DEATH!

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

More poems from Samuel Taylor Coleridge
 
marjamarishka
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http://www.liveinternet.ru/users/marjamarishka/post136037170/
 
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
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Humor..


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Metargem72-Alina Semukha(USA).30.09.10. . ... ( )

, 30 2010 . 04:38 +
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/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
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Humor..

History..

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Alina Semukha(USA)-Odessa,I asked God for a bike( )

, 29 2010 . 08:55 +

From Alina Semukha(USA)

29.09.10-Alina Semukha(USA) Odessa . Alina Semukha(USA), , , . , , , ... , .Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 

5=Nouveau cellulaire

JO M 'EMCOMPRO UN PER VEURE LA COSSA MES CLARA ..

 I WILL GET ONE OF  THOSE TO SEE THINGS NICE AND CLEAR ...   ???

 

, .. 

 

 Odessa

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/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)

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Alina Semukha (USA),Leonid Novik-" ",Kalmanovich i KGB ( )

, 29 2010 . 08:30 +
 29.09.10.6-20 . . . , , , .. . - , Kalmanovich i KGB  ,  " ". .

 
Very interesting....
 

Do you think you know everything?

Kalmanovich i KGB    http://b-insider.livejournal.com/313068.html#cutid1

 *****

Alina Semukha (USA)

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/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)

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Alina Semukha(USA) Metargem72-The Italian Wedding Test ( )

, 25 2010 . 11:17 +

Obama The Muslim

Obama The Muslim
Never Doubt - Never Forget

The Italian Wedding Test -Hillarious!

;D ;D ;D
Italian Couple

Thursday, July 08, 2010

The Italian Wedding Test

 

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'

She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lord, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.
 
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
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Humor..


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Alina Semukha(USA)Metargem72- ( )

, 24 2010 . 21:46 +

 

 

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/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
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Humor..


(2)

Alina Semukha(USA),Metargem72-USA - ,

, 20 2010 . 09:30 +

Metargem72 .. ... !

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...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
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Humor..

(Yiddish Lessons)

(0)

Alina Semukha(USA),Metargem72-

, 19 2010 . 09:53 +

Alina Semukha(USA), - .. .. . . . . -" , ...", . 72 - " ".72 , - " " . "" , . 72 , - , ...72 - . , Aelios    , , , , . . .. 72 , ,  , , ..72 .

72 ...   ..

...
/Alina Semukha(USA)
/Metargem72 (Rishon Le Zion)
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