зимняя_вишня (Learning_English) все записи автора

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Здравствуйте!Сколько вариантов перевода у этой фразы:Can't Help Falling In Love?

симпу тому,кто даст больше вариантов)

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Умно-Красиво-Скромная (Learning_English) все записи автора

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Одежда для человека – не просто способ защититься от холода или жары, это и способ выражения самого себя. По манере одеваться можно составить представление о том, где человек работает, о его социальном статусе и даже об отношении к жизни. Сегодня поговорим о том, как тема одежды отразилась в английском языке.

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angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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The first testicular guard (a Cup) was used in baseball in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1934.

It took 60 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.

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angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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It is the month of August, 0n the shores of the Black Sea.
It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is
tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives
on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.

He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the
reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs
in order to pick one.

The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs
to pay his debt to the butcher.

The Butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay
his debt to the pig grower.

The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay
his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel.

The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and
runs to pay his debt to the town’s prostitute that, in these
hard times, gave her “services” on credit.

The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with
the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the
rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.

The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back
on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect
anything.

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting
the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that
he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now
without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is doing business today.

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angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?”

The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces.”

The attorney said, “Well do you have any grounds?”

The farmer said, “Yea, I got about 140 acres.” The attorney said, “No, you don’t understand, do you have a case?”

The farmer said, “No, I don’t have a Case, but I have a John Deere.”

The attorney said, “No you don’t understand, I mean do you have a grudge?”

The farmer said, “Yea I got a grudge, that’s where I park my John Deere.”

The attorney said, “No sir, I mean do you have a suit?”

The farmer said, “Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays.”

The exasperated attorney said, “Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?”

The farmer said, “No sir, we both get up about 4:30.”

Finally, the attorney says, “Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?”

And the farmer says, “Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.”

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angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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DEAR DIARY . DAY ONE
All packed for the cruise ship - all my sexiest dresses and make-up.
Really excited.

DEAR DIARY . DAY TWO
Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins.
Met the Captain today - seems a very nice man.

DEAR DIARY . DAY THREE
At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls off the deck.
Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner.
Felt honored and had a wonderful time.
He is very attractive and attentive.

DEAR DIARY . DAY FOUR
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino.
Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin.
Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne.
He asked me to stay the night but I declined.
Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

DEAR DIARY . DAY FIVE
Pool again today, got sunburned, went inside to drink at piano bar for rest of day.
Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.
Really is charming.
Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night.
Again I declined.
He told me if I didn't let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship.
I was shocked.

DEAR DIARY . DAY SIX
Saved 1600 lives today - twice.

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angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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A family that lives on the outskirts of Clear Lake, MB .. in Canada
decided to build a sturdy, colorful playground for their 3 & 4 year old sons.
They lined the bottom with smooth-stone gravel all around to avoid knee scrapes & other injuries.
They finished building it 1 Friday evening & were very pleased with the end product.
The following morning, the mom was about to wake-up the boys
& have them go out to play in their new play center.
This is what she saw from the upstairs window

pic

angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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Virgina State trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about 2 miles south of the Virginia/ West Virgina State line. When the trooper asked the driver why he was
speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Beckley WV to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.

The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.
The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and
handed them to him.

While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunken good old boy from West Virginia got out, watched the performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, 'You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.'

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angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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An elderly gentleman....
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

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The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'

She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires..

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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

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An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

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Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

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A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'

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angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

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In a city park stood two beautiful statues, one female and the other male -- both nude. These two statues faced each other for many, many years.

Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "The two of you have been truly exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people that have visited the park over the years. I am hereby authorized by God to give you the greatest wish that can be bestowed upon you. I grant you the gift of life -- albeit, as a limited offer. You have thirty minutes to do whatever your hearts desire."

And with that command, the two statues came to life. They smiled at each other, slowly moved their limbs about in wonderment. They looked all around, at their own bodies and back at each other.

Smiling, they then ran to the nearby woods and dove behind a large bush.

The angel smiled to herself as she listened to the giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. (Angels aren't naive.)

After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, looking extremely satisfied and wearing nothing but even bigger smiles than before.

Puzzled, the angel looked at her watch and said to them, "You still have fifteen minutes. Wouldn't you like to continue?"

The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"

"Oh yes!" the female statue replied. "But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL shit on its head."

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