angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

 After a British Airways flight reached its cruising altitude, the
Captain announced:

'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293,

Non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so

We should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and .

HOLY CRAP !'

Silence followed

Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.

'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking

To you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in

My lap. You should see the front of my pants!'

One Irish passenger yelled,

'Fook sake!, you should see the back of mine!'

Kate_Sitnikova (Learning_English) все записи автора

 Подскажите, пожалуйста, где можно скачать субтитры для фильмов на английском! Заранее благодарна :) за любую помощь...

angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

 A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands.

The girl watches him and says, "You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says "Yes ... how did you figure that out?"
The girl says, "Easy... you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, the girl says, "You must be a great dentist."
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Yes, I sure am a great dentist... How did you figure that out?"
The girl says, "Easy... I didn't feel a thing!"

angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

 Things you didn't know you didn't know!
1.Barbie's full name is Barbara Milicent Roberts.

2.It is impossible to lick your elbow.

3.A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.

4.A shrimp's heart is in their head.

5.People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, you're heart stops for a mili-second.

6.In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so).

7.It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

8.A pregnant goldfish is called a twit

9.Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetti Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas.

10.By law, every child in Belgium must take harmonica lessons at Primary school.

11.On average, a human being will have sex more than 3,000 times and spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime.

12.More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

13.Rats and horses can't vomit.

14.The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

15.If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or
neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they will pop out.

16.Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

17.Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

18.If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

19.In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

20.The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

21.Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

22.A duck's quack doesn't echo anywhere, and no one knows why.

23. 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.

24.In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.

25.Most lipstick contains fish scales.

26.Cat's urine glows under a black light.

27.Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

Умно-Красиво-Скромная (Learning_English) все записи автора

 Работа занимает большое место в жизни человека. Очень важно знать и уметь ориентироваться в терминах, которые наиболее часто употребляются на рабочем месте. Поэтому сегодня поговорим о «рабочих» идиомах.
A ball park figure (досл. приблизительное число)

Неточность и приблизительные подсчет могут внести хаос в деятельность фирмы. С точными данными работать гораздо легче.

- A general financial figure
- общий финансовый показатель

Example:

Until we had costed the project properly we were only able to give the customer a ball park figure.
Пока мы не оценили стоимость проекта должным образом, мы могли дать покупателю только приблизительные финансовые показатели.

A bean-counter (досл. считающий фасоль)

Бухгалтер в компании не только считает расходы и доходы, но и анализирует финансовую деятельность компании. Именно он может подсказать, на какие цели следует направить деньги в данный момент.

- An accountant
- бухгалтер

Example:

The bean-counters told us we had to reduce the budget.
Бухгалтер сказал нам, что мы должны сократить бюджет.

To break even (досл. разбить на равные части)

Ситуация, когда расходы равны доходам – неплохой показатель для фирмы, но все лучше, когда доходы больше расходов.

- When expenses equal profits.
- когда расходы равны доходам

Example:

The company broke even after two years.
Расходы и доходы компании равны уже 2 года.

A golden handshake (досл. золотое рукопожатие)

Только сотрудникам высшего звена, как правило, выплачивают компенсацию при уходе с должности.

- To receive a large payment on leaving a company
- получить большую плату при уходе из компании, золотой парашют

Example:

She won't have to find a job very quickly because she got a huge golden handshake from her last job.
Она не должна искать работу очень быстро, потому что она получила золотой парашют на предыдущей работе.

To be fired (досл. быть уволенным)

Увольнение с работы можно воспринимать двояко. С одной стороны, оно вносит некую нестабильность в жизнь человека, а с другой – открывает новые пути для развития.

- To be dismissed from your job
- быть уволенным с работы

Example:

"He was always coming late, so eventually they fired him."

angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

 Put 400 bricks in a closed room. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours. Then analyze the situation:

If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.

If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in
Engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in
Planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.

If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information
Technology.

If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.

If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.

If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.

If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management

Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Congress.