Sergey Kapitsa - Learn Physics!   Sergey Petrovich Kapitsa said: It was in the 60's. A group of nuclear physicists from a closed research institute went to the Black Sea. All as one - doctors of sciences. We came to the bank, along the way buying a few bottles of wine with a plastic lid, which must be cut with a knife. They come, they are ready already - opa! - And there is nothing to open the bottles! They see a muzhik of a vagabond kind not far away. - Dear, but you do not have anything to open a bottle?  - Let's open, how not to open! Are there any matches? A man takes matches, he heats up a cork and tears it off, softened, with the words:  "Physics had to be taught at school, Salagi!" The man scattered - Norbert Wiener   The father of cybernetics Norbert Wiener was famous for his extreme forgetfulness. When his family moved to a new apartment, his wife put a piece of paper on his wallet, on which she wrote down their new address - she knew perfectly well that otherwise the husband would not be able to find his way home. Nevertheless, on the first day, when another great idea occurred to him at work, he reached into his wallet, took out a sheet with the address, wrote several formulas on his back, understood that the idea was wrong and threw the sheet into the wastebasket. In the evening, as if nothing had happened, he went to his previous address. When it was discovered that no one was living in the old house, he went out into the street in complete confusion ... Suddenly, it dawned on him, he approached the girl standing nearby and said: "Sorry, maybe you remember me." I am Professor Wiener, and my family has recently moved from here. Could you tell us where exactly? The girl listened to him very carefully and replied:  - Yes, Dad, my mom thought that you will forget this. Lisa Meitner - "Problems of cosmetic physics"   Lisa Meitner - the first woman physicist in Germany, was able to obtain a degree in the early 20's.The title of her thesis "Problems of Space Physics" to some journalist seemed unthinkable, and the newspaper published "Problems of Cosmetic Physics". Niels Bohr - Your ticket ?!   Once, while in Sweden, the famous Danish physicist Niels Bohr traveled with his family and friends to meet his brother. Arriving at the station, Bor went to take the platform tickets for the whole company. Soon he returned with tickets very upset and discouraged. "All the same, in Sweden the matter is more rational than in Denmark," he said sadly. - We have ticket machines working on electricity, and here on each machine there is an inscription offering the buyer before dropping a coin, to become on a small platform. Thus, here the automaton works at the expense of gravity, without spending expensive electricity. " When the meeting came to the entrance to the platform, the controller refused to let them through. "These are not platform tickets," he announced to Bor. - These are receipts of the automatic balance, on which you somehow weighed several times.   Mendeleyev - Suitcase-maker   DI Mendeleev, apart from chemistry, he devoted much time to his hobby - bookbinding and ... making suitcases. This case is told. One day a scientist bought materials from a shop. - Who is it? Asked the shopkeeper.  "Do not you know?" - that was surprised. - Famous suitcase master Mendeleev! Dmitry Ivanovich was very flattered by this characteristic. All by myself - Isaac Newton   The reflective telescope of Isaac Newton, which made it possible to get rid of the characteristic chromatic aberration telescopes-refractors, produced a real furore in England. King Charles II himself carefully studied the device and, admiring the stars and planets through it, passed the novelty to the Royal Society of London, which in January 1672 hastened to elect its Cambridge provincial as its member. Many lay down later, Conduit, a relative of the scientist, once asked him: - Tell me, who is this skilled craftsman who produced a mirror for your telescope?  "I, I myself made a mirror," Newton answered innocently.  "But where did you get the tools and tools?"  "And I made them myself," Newton explained.  "If I waited for someone to do something to me, I would never do anything at all." Silent American - John Bardeen   John Bardeen twice received the Nobel Prize in Physics - in 1956 and in 1972. It was a heavy, calm, slightly self-confident man with a soft voice. Students who attended his lectures at the University of Illinois called him Whispering John. Bardeen's wife remembered how once in 1948 her husband came home from work, parked his car near the house and went into the kitchen, where she was cooking dinner at that time. "You know," he said in a quiet, as usual voice, "we discovered something today." And one morning in 1956, when he was beating eggs for breakfast, he was told by radio that he and his colleagues had been awarded the Nobel Prize. In addition to science, the only passion in his life was golf. Faculty colleague Bardeen, Charles Slichter said: "Once in a golf club the old partner in the game turned to Bardeen with the question:" John, I was going to ask for a long time: what do you do for a living? "Can you imagine this? I think if I had two Nobel Prizes, like John's, I would have found a chance to say a word about it. " The resourceful X-ray   The outstanding German physicist Wilhelm Conrad Roentgen received a letter asking him to send ... several X-rays indicating how to use them. It turned out that the author of the letter had a revolver bullet stuck in his chest, and he did not have time to go to Roentgen. X-ray was a man with humor and responded to the letter like this: "Unfortunately, at the moment I do not have X-rays, in addition, sending them is a very complicated matter. I think that we can do easier: send me your chest. "   Igor Tamm and Ataman-Mathematician   During the Civil War, the future Nobel Prize winner in physics, Igor Tamm, was taken prisoner to one of Makhno's gangs. Seeing him wearing city clothes, the bandits led Tamm to the ataman - a bearded peasant in a tall fur hat, with cross-machine-gun belts on his chest, and a pair of hand grenades dangling on his belt. "You son of a bitch, Communist agitator, why are you undermining your mother Ukraine?" We will kill you.  "Not at all," Tamm replied. "I'm a professor at the University of Odessa and came here to get some food." - Breaking! Exclaimed the ataman.  "What sort of professor are you?"  "I'm teaching math."  - Mathematics? Asked the ataman.  - Then find me an estimate of the approximation of the McLaren series by the first n-terms. You decide - you will go free, no - shoot. Tamm could not believe his ears: the task concerned a rather narrow field of higher mathematics.With trembling hands and the barrel of a rifle, he managed to infer the decision and showed it to the ataman. - Right! Said the ataman. "Now I see that you really are a professor." Well, go home.