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Someone shave the monkey while I blow the church with dynamite...
- Maynard James Keenen - Vocals, Screaming, Kazoo and being stupid.
- Adam Jones - 6 String Harp, being Emo, wanking and masterbating kittens.
- Danny Crey - Tras..Drums (known to use live kittens instead of Symbels)and nigga
- Justin Chancellor - ex member of 98º, social reject
- Paul D'Amour - Former bassist, now does commercials for kids cereal
...As soon as MJK agreed that there should be bass, he telepathically contacted Paul D'Amour, the only free bass player within a radius of 23 kilometers. Paul immediately joined the band and was stunned with the pure mc2 that the band delivered with their epic songs. But even bass wasn't enough, so they had to think again what was missing. And they finally got it! They needed someone to keep the rhythm while they were in Starbucks ordering their Ristretto Venti Nonfat Organic Chocolate Brownie Frappuccinos Extra Hot with Foam and Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended. After initial auditioning done with street-corner bottle player named Lars Ulrich and Ringo Starr from Nirvana, they finally settled for Danny Carey, who was at that point a part of the Illuminati, a secret cult from Al Jumahiriyah al Arabiyah al Libiyah ash Shabiyah al Ishtirakiyah al Uzma also known as Libya. They were really satisfied with him because he mastered the technique of five-handed drumming which he achieved by opening his 3rd eye...
Maynard James Keenan, Danny Carey, Tool, more Tool , 10,000 days & Toolology и другое на Uncyclopedia.
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