Sandyrella (
Married_with_children) все записи автора
Wisdoms
E before O except before E-I-E-I-O. (A mixture of I before E except after C and the song Old MacDonald had a Farm, E-I-E-I-O as an explanation for the spelling of Sheos)
Feed a cold, starve for pizza. Starve a pizza, eat cold feet. (Instead of Feed a cold, starve a fever.)
He who laughs last laughs West. (Instead of ...best.)
It's better to have loved and lost than never to have seen 'Lost in Space' at all. (Instead of ... than never to have loved at all.)
It turns, therefore I am. (Instead of I think, therefore I am.)
Make new thoughts, but keep the old, one is silver, and the other is old. (Instead of Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver, and the other gold.)
Mom and Dad are my relatives, therefore I am. (Combination of Einstein's theory of relativity and René Descartes' I think, therefore I am)
There, but for the flippers, go I. (Instead of There, but for the grace of God, go I.)
They will never buy the cow if they can get the eggs for free. (You can figure out that one yourself.)
Those who can - do, those who can't - do not. (Instead of ... those who can't - criticise. Or: ... those who can't - teach.)
Use a condom, go to jail. (Instead of Use a condom, go to school.)
Statements
As inevitable as death in Texas. (Instead of ... death and taxes.)
Buenos nachos. (Instead of Buenas noches.)
B-U-N-D and sometimes Y. (Combination of the spelling of Bundy and English vowels "A-E-I-O-U and sometimes Y".
Comme ci, comme di. (Instead of Comme ci, comme ça.)
Down yours. (Instead of Up yours.)
Fly like the beagle. (Instead of Fly like an eagle.
I'm going to hold my breast until I turn blue. (Instead of ... breath...)
I'm an Aquarium. (Instead of ... Aquarius.)
I'm on the edge of my feet. (Instead of ... seat.)
I'm on the horns of an enema. (Instead of ... on the horns of a dilemma.)
Is a bear catholic? (Instead of Is the Pope a Catholic? and Does a bear shit in the woods?)
It's as easy as 1, 2, C. (Instead of ... 1, 2, 3.)
It's so hot you could lay an egg on the sidewalk. (Instead of ... fry an egg on the sidewalk.
I wear my heart on a sleaze. (Instead of ... my sleeve.)
Mars to Mom. (Instead of Earth...)
My brain beats faster. (Instead of My heart beats faster.)
Objection stained (instead of ... sustained)
Quoth the Raven 'Demi Moore'. (Instead of Quoth the Raven 'Nevermore'. from Edgar Allan Poe's poem The Raven)
Right, and the check is in my mouth. (Instead of The check is in the mail. and I won't come in your mouth.)
Squid pro quo. (Instead of Quid pro quo.)
That is the squaw that stroke the camel's sack. (Instead of That is the straw that broke the camel's back.)
The defense breasts (instead of ... rests )
The mind wobbles. (Instead of The mind boggles.)
The prostitution rests. (Instead of The prosecution rests.)
The quest for the holy pale. (Instead of ... grail.)
Three out of two. (Instead of Two out of three.
You could've knocked me over with the weather. (Instead of You could've knocked me over with a feather.)
Your words fall off me like water of a duck's quack. (Instead of ... duck's back.
Expressions
ABD (instead of ABC)
Adidas (instead of adios)
Brazil (as a US state)
Buttshell (instead of nutshell)
Chinese waiter torture (instead of ... water...)
Coyote (instead of Kyoto)
Da-ta! (instead of ta-da!)
East Dakota (instead of North Dakota or South Dakota)
Electrical (instead of electoral)
Felines (instead of females)
Francis Ford Coppertop (instead of Francis Ford Coppola)
Grey mattress (instead of grey matter)
G-spot (instead of ten-spot)
Hunchback (instead of hunch)
Illegitimate (instead of illiterate)
Illiteral (instead of illiterate)
Indonesia (instead of amnesia)
Inseminations (instead of influence)
Intersections (instead of interjections)
Jolly Goodfellas (instead of goodfellas)
Long Island (instead of Los Angeles)
Los Angeles, the Big Apple (which would be New York City)
Ministers (instead of minerals)
Mistress (instead of master)
Lesbian (instead of Thespian)
Magnesia (instead of amnesia)
Mental pause (instead of menopause)
Metamucil (instead of metaphoric)
Montecristo's revenge (instead of Montezuma's revenge)
North and South Georgia
Norwegia (instead of Norway)
Optometrist (instead of optimist)
Ping and pong (instead of ying and yang)
Poke (instead of Polk)
Probation (instead of vacation)
Proctology (instead of ecology)
Q (in toaster leavin's, instead of G)
Reincastrated (instead of reincarnated)
Rocks (instead of minerals)
Spinach (instead of Spanish)
Stereo system (instead of stereotype)
Street Louis (instead of Saint Louis)
Strip-search me (instead of search me)
Sweat of our bras (instead of ... brows)
Testicle (instead of Testica)
Topeka! (instead of Eureka!)
Unconscious (instead of Confucius)
Urethra! (instead of Eureka!)
Valid dictator (instead of valedictorian)
Vegetarian (instead of veterinary)
Viola (instead of voilà)
Wallabies (instead of wannabes)
Sandyrella (
Married_with_children) все записи автора
Wisdoms
