angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

---

 This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries…… but, now we know.
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race…you’re a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework …you’re a pansy.
If you work too hard…there’s never any time for her. If you don’t work enough…you’re a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay…this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay…..you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her…..that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you……it’s affirmative action.
If you mention how nice she looks……it’s sexual harassment. If you keep quiet……….it’s male indifference.
If you cry…………you’re a wimp. If you don’t……..you’re an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her………you’re a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you……she’s a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy……. that’s domination. If she asks you………it’s a favor.
If you appreciate the female form …..you’re a pervert. If you don’t ….you’re gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs, wear sexy lingerie and keep in shape ………….you’re sexist. If you don’t……………..you’re unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape……you’re vain. If you don’t ……..you’re a slob.
If you buy her flowers………….you’re after something. If you don’t ……..you’re not thoughtful.
If you’re proud of your achievements……..you’re full of yourself.
If you aren’t……. you’re not ambitious.
If she has a headache…………she’s tired. If you have a headache………….you don’t love her anymore.
If you want it too often………you’re over sexed. If you don’t…………….there must be someone else.
So why do men die first?
Because they want to.

---

angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

---

 For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an 'Australian treasure!'

General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.

---

angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

---

 After a long night of making love,
the guy notices a photo of another man,
on the woman's nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.
'Is this your husband?'
he nervously asks.

'No, silly,'
she replies, snuggling up to him.

'Your boyfriend, then?'
he continues.
'No, not at all,'
she says, nibbling away at his ear.

'Is it your dad or your brother?'
he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!'
she answers.

'Well, who in the hell is he, then?'
he demands.

She whispers in his ear

'That's me before the surgery.'

---

Owly_the_Owl (Learning_English) все записи автора

---

 

 LADY GODIVA

 

Some 900 years ago an extraordinary occurrence took place on Market Day in the English midlands town of Coventry.

 

 

Two monks at St. Albans Abbey in Hertfordshire first recorded this amazing story in Latin. Roger of Wendover wrote of it in the twelfth century and Mathew Paris in the early thirteenth century. As the Abbey stood at an important road junction, it would seem that the monks may have heard the story from travellers who were on their way from the Midlands to London.

The astonishing tale that has come down to us through the centuries, is that sometime in the eleventh-century a proud, pious lady rode through Coventry on Market Day completely naked, covered by nothing but her long hair!

Was this true? Apparently so!

Who was this pious medieval streaker?Earl Leofric was one of the all-powerful lords who ruled England under the Danish King Canute.

Leofric was a tyrant, he tyrannised the Church and did not hold the same religious convictions as his wife, nor her fondness for the Midlands and its populace.  

more

never_givin_up (Learning_English) все записи автора

---

 A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her.

The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed. The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.

That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn’t sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.

Moral of the story:
If you don’t give your hundred percent in a relationship, you’ll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent..

This is applicable for any relationship like love, employer-employee relationship etc., Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully.
(c)

 

 

 

 

---

 

 

never_givin_up (Learning_English) все записи автора

---

 Niagara Falls, on the Niagara River between the US and Canada, are 790 metres wide and 50 metres deep. The falls are divided into two parts by Goat Island. The largest part, on the Canadian side, is also called the Horseshoe Falls because of its curved shape.

A cloud of mist rising from the falls makes a bright rainbow when the sun shines on it. A boat called Maid of the Mist takes tourists close to the base on the falls, where they can look up at the falls from below, and there are caves, hidden behind the curtain of falling water, which visitors can explore.

By Express Publishing

---

 

never_givin_up (Learning_English) все записи автора

---

 15 Steps to Fulfilling Your Wildest Dreams

There are 3 keys to success in any new venture:

1) Being in the right place at the right time. (You could well be already there!)
2) Have a vision of where the industry/business you’re working in is going!
3) Taking Massive and Immediate Action! (It is time to act!)

“The future belongs to those who believe in the quality of their dreams.” Was it Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, the famous German poet and philosopher who said those wise words?
Here are 15 steps to fulfilling your wildest dreams…

1. KNOW YOURSELF

Know and accept your weaknesses and faults (we all have them), but even more so your strengths, abilities and gifts. Build on your strengths and try to minimize or improve on your weaknesses. An honest, objective analysis of yourself is the first step in preparing you for success and realizing your dreams. Celebrate you for just being you, a unique creation.

Aim for mental clarity about what you most want out of life. Think about it and write it down. If it’s happiness, what do you mean by happiness: a sense of belonging, recognition, independence, love, money or security? If you don’t know where you are and where you want to go with your life, how will you ever get there? Aim at nothing and you’re sure to hit it.

2. GET PASSIONATE

Don’t apologize for getting passionate. What excites you the most? If you are not enthusiastic and excited about what you’re doing, your path in life, you’ll never get others to share your dream. Once you find your passion, you will have found your POWER, MEANING and PURPOSE in life.

3. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PASSION

Always be aware. Negative people will poison your dream faster than anything else. Motto: “If you can’t be positive, shut up!” Try and stay positive…even in the face of negativity.

4. ACCEPT FROM THE START THAT YOU WON’T PLEASE EVERYONE

You’re going to be misunderstood, misquoted, hurt some feelings, perhaps even lose some friends (for the time being). Motto: “What other people think of me is none of my business!” Repeat this statement to yourself, especially when you doubt or feel discouraged.

5. ALWAYS BE YOURSELF

To thine own self be true. (Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”, act I.3.) This is supremely important, no matter what the world may think of you. The masses are conditioned to mediocrity and other people’s success can make them not feel inferior for their own insignificant little lives. Accept yourself. Learn from others–but don’t be intimidated by them, or pretend to be someone you’re not; because…”We are most effective when we’re being ourselves.”

6. DON’T BE SCARED OF MAKING MISTAKES

The only real mistake is one from which you learn nothing. Motto: “Far better to try something and fail, than try nothing and succeed!” 

7. ACCEPT THAT IT WILL NEVER BE EASY

Realizing your dream may be the hardest, most uphill thing you’ll ever do. A truth …”You can’t coast uphill.” The key ingredient in success is never giving up. Keep on keeping on with your quest. It has been said that ”success is 99% made up of failures”.

8. STAY HUMBLE (no matter how successful you may be)

Don’t ever think you’ve made it and arrived–there’s always a lot ahead, more to do, higher mountains to climb. Motto: “The greatest way to do our thing has yet to be discovered!”

9. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF

There is incredible power in yourself (in the form of the unique human mind), but far more so in the forces of the Universe. Make them work for you by living your life in harmony with these natural forces. Like positive energy attracts like.

Enough “spiritual” thoughts! Back to the “real world” and you. Avoid developing an inferiority complex (Who am I, a ‘nothing’?”). Don’t be filled with feelings of self-pity (”nobody likes me”), or think “I can’t do it.”  These thoughts will steal your dream.

10. HAVE FUN

Nothing is ever as bad as it seems–don’t get too solemn, or serious or too downcast when things go wrong (as they surely will from time to time). Take a leaf from Thomas Edison’s book: “I never did a day’s work in my entire life: it was all FUN!” Laugh at life’s funny moments…and there are plenty of them. “The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does.” - J.M. Barrie

11. DEVELOP ‘THE WILL TO LIVE’

There will be plenty of times when you’ll face the death of your dream. When failures, disappointments, and criticisms come you need the will and faith to keep going. Remember: We learn far more from our failures than our successes, because failures show us what doesn’t work. So, failure is just one step closer to ultimate success. Often the difference between failure and success is trying just one more time, picking yourself up off the canvas after being knocked down time and again.

12. DEVELOP ‘THE WILL TO HELP AND SERVE OTHERS’

Success on its own (i.e., for its own sake) will pollute and corrupt you–it’s a dead end street unless you have meaning in your life. The years of struggle breed fortitude and character. The gold may be an inch away from the seam, where your fellow miners have given up. You need to succeed for a reason, a purpose, a cause that’s bigger than you! and IF (a very big if) you’ve fulfilled all the above requirements…

By the time you finish reading this you will realise its just 12 steps and not 15………..

by pravsj

---

never_givin_up (Learning_English) все записи автора

---

 Hyde Park (together with Kensington Gardens, whose land was originally part of the park) was bought by King Henry VIII in 1536 and covers an area of 250 hectares. The park and gardens are popular with Londoners and tourists alike, who love the wide open spaces and atmosphere of the countryside very near some of the city's most famous shopping areas.
The park's recreation facilities include bowling greens, tennis courts, a children's playground and cycle paths. The Serpentine, an 11-hectare lake, offers rowing, canoeing, swimming and fishing. Rotten Row, a wide track still used for horse-riding, is over 500 years old and was the first road in Britain to have street lights at night. At Speakers' Corner, crowds gather to listen to people giving speeches about all sorts of (often eccentric) subjects.
Kensington Gardens, with its quiet gardens and two playgrounds, is a popular place to take children, who can also sail model boats on the Round Pond and watch puppet shows in the summer.

 

---

 

Kissing_by_Wind (Learning_English) все записи автора

---

  Some interesting things about TV

Many people think that television encourages passive enjoyment. It is easy to sit in an armchair watching others working. Little by little, television cuts you off from the real world. Besides, a lot of programmes are even dangerous for child's development.
Many Americans are worried by the amount of violence their children see on television. In response to citizens' complaints and pressure from the Congress, the four major TV networks6 — ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox — agreed in 1993 to inform parents of violent content at the beginning of a programme, and cable networks have agreed to give similar warnings. In 1996, the commercial and cable networks made another step and established a rating system, based on the amount of violence and bad language that a programme contains. A symbol indicating the show's rating appears on the television screen at the beginning of and during the programme.
Beginning in 1998 new television sets in the United States are equipped with a «V-chip», a device that gives parents opportunity to block out programmes they would not like their children to see.

---

 

never_givin_up (Learning_English) все записи автора

---

 We Walk By Faith, Not Sight. Do You Believe ?? One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children.

The teacher asked a little boy: “Tommy do you see the tree outside?”
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That’s my point. We can’t see God because he isn’t there. He doesn’t exist.

A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions. The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy: “Tommy, do you see the tree outside?”

TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss (getting tired of the questions by this time).
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school, she must not have one!

“FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT” II CORINTHIANS 4:7
From archives;

---