the trick is when you change yourself, your preception of the world's reality changes as well, so anyway it won't be same. I can't promise it will be less horrible and cruel, it depends on the direction you choose. think of it... cause there's no other world than the one in your mind - and even that one is only a reflection of a real world (if there's any ;-) ) , reflection created by your senses and filtered through your own system of values. u don't have to believe, personally I don't belive in anything, just think and come to your own conclusions