RECITING THE SONGS AS POEMS: PROSAIC PROSE VERSUS LYRIC LYRICS
ONCE UPON A TIME RUSSIAN ACTORS AND ACTRESSES MADE UP THEIR MINDS TO RECITE THE LYRICS OF THE ICONIC POP SONGS. THE ONLY CONDITION WAS TO CHANGE NOT A SINGLE WORD OR LINE IN THEIR TEXTS. THEY COULD USE ONLY AN INTONATION AND LOGICAL STRESS TO ACCENTUATE THE TEXTS IN A NEW WAY. FINALLY IT RESULTED IN A FRESH, QUITE AN EXPECTED READING OF THE SONGS. WHY NOT? ANY LYRICS COULD HAVE BEEN ... POEMS, JUST POEMS.
EPISODE 1. I AM A CHAMPION, MY FRIENDS!
Every single person in Russia (and not only in Russia, sometimes in Japan too!) knows by heart the song of Cheburaska from the iconic children’s animation cartoon.
Cheburashka`s song Music By Vladimir Shaïnsky,
Lyrics By Edward Uspensky
Once I was an eccentric
And nameless, non-generic
Plaything that nobody
Would buy in a toy store.
Now I am Cheburashka!
And not only in Russia
Its foreleg
gives me
every single mutt.
I was not lucky firstly
I was then so lonesome
That even for my birthdays
I could invite no one.
Now I’ve a friend called Ghena
He’s popular, and never
One doubts
that it’s
the world’s best crocodile. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
The Edward Uspensky`s `Song of Cheburashka` Recited By Sergei Dolzhenok
The text remained intact after the actor`s foreword: `Reading the song. Edward Uspensky. Poem `Song of Cheburashka`. Recited by Sergei Dolzhenok`, but it was reconsidered by the actor Sergei Dolzhenok as Cheburashka soliloquy. None would ever expect that this naive children’s song could be reconsidered. But it really turned out to be a success story and vainglory of a Russian newly-rich and parvenu. He has achieved much, `suddenly all his troubles seemed so faraway`, so why not to tell about his yesterday he believes in no more just to feel even better, to enjoy the glorious present. It’s a social portrait rather than a mere satire. The person, that social type is recognizable. It’s a kind of `A Guy from Via Glueck` (Glueck literally means `happiness` in German. – AAO). He’s got a high social position, always sunny in his door, moreover his money makes the world go round, but the shadows of the past make themselves felt despite all that jazz and connections with the omnipotent Russian oligarch called simply Ghena (Sh-sh! Don’t take the name of that tycoon in vain!) Then, if Ghena is a BIG NAME, but still a name, CHEBURASHKA, the former nickname, is becoming a symbol, a sign of acquiring a social status right before our eyes and ears! Like artist Waldemar Kazak the actor transformed the hero of the Russian classical children’s literature into a modern adult character, one of the heroes-antiheroes (depending on a view-point) of our time. Is it really Cheburaska or Chubacabra?! Thriller?!
Here`s Cheburashka
A beast from overseas
Who speaks a bêtise.
Body of a bear,
Face of a cat.
Covered with hair.
It’s fed on turnips and raspberries.
Dames caught him
In the Neglinnay* masterly. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
*a river that flowed in Moscow in the Petrovian epoch. Body print and its caption are a jocular parody of a Russian brightly-coloured print in a primitivistic style. Such pictures were especially popular in the 18-19 c. among the common people as they were cheap. The parody character of the quasi-folklore print is being stressed by a choice of its hero and imitation of the speech of the puppet shows at the fair grounds in Old Russia. By the way, it`s an irregular grammar and a primitivistic style of the verses of the prints that are their genre peculiarity. As to that inversion which is present in the line of `And not only in Russia//Its foreleg //gives me//every single mutt`, it was used intendedly, firstly, to keep the rhyme, secondly, to serve as a trope (literary device), a reverse scale, expressing a breathtaking ascending an up-the-down social staircase. (Macbeth: ... For them the gracious Duncan have I murther’d. ...)
EPISODE 2. Los ricos también lloran! (The rich also weep!)
This song was rather popular several years go. But it’s for the first time that it became the subject for the artistic parody, read as a poem and heard as a tragic comedy. First, original music video and lyrics to understand what it’s all about.
Andrei Danilko (as his feminine stage character `Verka Serdyuchka`) Dolce Gabbana. He’s also the only author of lyrics and music.
DOLCE GABBANA
I am walking down the street; I am dressed in Dolce Gabbana
I am walking down the street; my henna-red hair is dyed with alcana,
Teardrops are running my cheeks, he is a rotten banana!
But I am walking down the street; I am dressed in Dolce Gabbana.
Refrain
La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la oolla-oolla … …
Now I am seventeen, soon I’ll become out of date,
He has said that I’m the best of all girls on the planet.
Why could not I say `No` at night? Now I cannot explain it!
Gimme please my bath, some wine, gimme a pack of cigarettes.
Why can’t we be together? That I can’t understand,
Though he’s fond of the `Samsung`, while I only love the `Apple`,
What is love, after all? Though now it is too late.
Gimme soon my bath, some wine, gimme a pack of cigarettes.
I am walking down the street; I am dressed in Dolce Gabbana
I am walking down the street; my henna-red hair is dyed with alcana,
Teardrops are running my cheeks; he is not heaven’s manna!
And I am walking down the street; I am dressed in Dolce Gabbana.
Refrain
La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la oolla-oolla … …
He’s my dream not come true, he is perishable fruit,
I must have been the silliest girl in the planet,
Why could not I say `no` at night? Now I cannot explain it!
Gimme please my bath, some wine, gimme a pack of cigarettes.
He has been out of touch for one thousand years,
He must be surfing the web sites all days long like all prats…
Pour you some coffee, miss? – I am being asked in a cafe.
Gimme better my bath, some wine, gimme a pack of cigarettes.
(Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Actress Viktoria Savina reconsidered the heroine of the poem `Dolce&Gabbana` in a more realistic way.
The actress also changed not a word of the original text either! (Except for those ` La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la oolla-oolla`!). She played it as a tragicomedy! Let’s face it, it’s very recognizable situation. A good mise-en-scène with a tipsy, getting drunk girl complaining of her boyfriend!
Crocodile Ghena: `To think that you, Cheburashka, should grow into such a hot chick!`
CINEMA AND THE GERMANS
A scene from the first Feodor Bondarchuk`s film `The fate of a man` from Mikhail Sholokhov`s short novel. Bondarchuk who’ll direct `The War and Peace` played the title part of Sokoloff. Lagerfuehrer was played by actor Yuri Averin, the former WW2 vet (a genius!- AAO).
Sokoloff: Prisoner of war Sokolov reported by your order, Herr Lagerfuehrer! Lagerfuehrer Mueller (speaking perfect Russian): Well, Russian Ivan, 4 cubic metres of daily output is too much for you? Sokoloff: Just so, Herr Lagerfuehrer! Lagerfuehrer: Much? Will it be enough one cubic metre to have you buried? Sokoloff: Just so, Herr Lagerfuehrer! Just enough! There`ll even remain some place. Lagerfuehrer: I’ll greatly honour you! I gonna personally shoot you because of your words! But it’s inappropriate to do it in here! Follow me, outside!
Sokoloff: As you please, Sir! Lagerfuehrer: But first drink before your death! Russian Ivan! To victory of the German arms! Sokoloff: Much obliged, but I don’t drink! Lagerfuehrer: So you don’t want to drink to our victory! Then drink to your decease!
Sokoloff: To my decease and deliverance from my torments ... I’ll drink! Lagerfuehrer: Get a bite at the least! Before your death! Sokoloff: I don’t eat after the first glass! Lagerfuehrer: Hm! Help yourself to! Make himself at home! Sokoloff: I’m sorry, Herr Lagerfuehrer! I don’t eat anything after my second glass of vodka either! Out of habit!
SS-men: Wow! Lagerfuehrer: Ruhe (Silence!)! Look here, Sokolov! You’re a real Russian soldier, brave soldier! Being also a soldier I feel respect of the worthy adversaries. I’ve decided not to kill you. Besides today our valiant troops have reached the Volga banks and wholly captured Stalingrad! It’s a great joy for us. So I generously spare your life! Back to your barrack! Here’s for your courage! (Sokoloff`s voice) That time me and my death missed each other too. I only felt its cold breath. Sokoloff (entering the barrack: Fair do`s! THE END
This is a great scene: Despite the inhuman time and environment both heroes discerned human beings in each other. They preferred to remain humans in that scene. Mueller refused to kill the man who was morally higher while Sokoloff forgave Mueller. The filmmakers made a start from the classical authors, Lev Tolstoy first of all. (Tolstoy was an artilleryman, by the way). And humanism!
On the whole, the Russian films on the WW2 are a special theme. Germans in the Russian postwar cinema were played excellently, ex professo. All filmmakers of that time were vets of the WW2! They played honestly. Beyond stereotypes, free of propaganda. Extreme realism though not naturalism! And the truth of life. There were created a lot of masterpieces that time. A series of films on the WW2 was labeled `Cinema and the Germans` by the Russian cinema-goers.
Leo Tolstoy The Artilleryman
Later, after the 70s, this phrase changed its meaning as the films on war were becoming farther from the history and reality. It began to ironically define the quasi-patriotic films where characters were imitating the war and audience mistrusted their acting.
U.S.S.R - K.G.B.
What is my favourite Russian film on the WW2? `The Shield & the Sword`. In this respect my and His Excellency, President of the Russian Federation Vladimir Putin`s tastes coincide. The film describes the Russian military intelligence activities in the WW2 in Germany. Though the title of the film contains a description of the K.G.B. emblem rather than the symbol of the Russian military intelligence which is The Night Bat, its symbolism is obvious and universal and suggests a broader interpretation.
Vladimir Basov
The Vladimir Basov film consists of many parts. It’s fit both for the widescreen and TV. Director Basov was the WW2 vet as an artilleryman. As an actor he played in children’s films and was known as a clown. He was often drunk as Finn whom he was by his origin literally. His father was Pavel Basultainen, from Finland, he graduated from the Tartu University in Estonia and joined the Communist Party in Russia. `Basov` was his secret Russian name before the Russian revolution.
THE TITLE SONG OF THE SWORD &THE SHIELD`S SOUNDTRACK (PUTIN`S FAVOURITE SONG! NO KIDDING!) WHAT MADE YOU FEEL LOVE OF YOUR MOHERLAND? Мusic by Benjamin Basner, Lyrics by Michael Matusovsky, Sung by Mark Bernes
`We are equally careless today`. You forgot your reply: `The sentence is final and with no right to appeal`. Later the song starts. Sung by Mark Bernes. https://youtu.be/7kpdICE1ATo
What made you feel love of your motherland?
A picture in your ABC ...
Your good and non-treacherous playfellows
Who lived nearby, in your street ...
It might have been even the lullaby
Your mother sang when you were young.
Or something that was so dear for you
(var.: Or things that were so dear for you. - A.A.O)
That trials would fail to deprive.
What made you feel love of your motherland?
A hidden bench you sat with her,
A birch tree that stands in an open field
And grows despite the winds blow.
It might have been even a starling`s song
That simply meant that spring was here.
Or that country road once you trod alone
Because when a child it wasn`t near.
What made you feel love of your motherland?
The windows` lights far away,
The father`s threadbare Budenny cap*
That wardrobe was keeping for years.
It might have been even the railway tracks
Along which the trains clickety-clacked.
Or even the oath of fidelity
You put inly to your motherland. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
*(pointed helmet formerly worn by Red Army men)
The dramatic type of Vladimir Basov and his weakness made cinema bosses severely underestimate him, yet he contributed a lot to the Russian cinema. And he shot his great film that has been a battlefield for the various artistic and political groups in Russia so far. In late 60s of the 20 c. his film was criticized by the famous Russian spy Abel who blamed the film director for following the stereotypes of the films with participation of James Bond. Nowadays especially after Vladimir Putin had expressed his love for the film which made him choose the intelligence the film is being criticized both by the liberal, left and right wings of the political gamut of Russia. There even appeared a ridiculous version that Basov must have been a Jew and Freemason!
The other opponents of the film found that Basov had admired of every single Wehrmacht and SS officer in his film. So he must have been a latent Nazi! Wow! Get him!
There are a lot of the uniforms in the film though there were committed some mistakes by the costumers and experts on the history of costumes. Since 1939 the SS-men hadn`t worn their nice (Hugo Boss!) black uniforms, at least in the field. Besides some insignia were noticed to be end for end on some uniforms. Critics from the different political camps catch at every trifle to discredit the late filmmaker. They couldn’t also forgive the title hero his friendship with major Steinglitz who despite his having been an expert on the U.K. was sent to the Ostfront after killing an important British spy. Steinglitz liked to shoot the PoWs just for fun but on the whole he was a very clever and attractive personality knowing life as it was.
Major Axel Steinglitz (Actor Alexei Glazyrin)
As to me I like this very talented and not stupid film on the WW2 where both sides are people first of all and then only fascists, communists, liberals, Germans, Jews, Russians, etc. It’s a right approach, after all. What’s interesting, the film was based on a rather mediocre novel by Vadim Kozhevnikov. Alas, for the time being I haven’t managed to find English subtitles for the film. Sometimes if (when) I have more time I’ll translate it. So now I have to set my choice on two short fragments which I especially like. Of course, I like fragments related to women.
Natalie Velichko
Since the German baroness Brigitte was engaged I chose pretty Natalie Velichko who played the part of Elsa, the lady resident of the Soviet intelligence under the cover of a German female gymnast and dancer in the officers` cabaret. Her connection Johann Weiss came to the officers`s cabaret in Poland to meet her. FRAGMENT ONE
Publicseeing Charlie is exclaiming in every way: Jude (Kike!). Master of the Ceremonies: `Duet `2Nicoles2`. Waiter (to Baroness): `Table’s especially for you! What do you wish?`
Baroness: Wine. White. Public(to dancers): Enchore! Bravo! ON STAGE: There enters Uncle Sam! Dancers make his top hat be awry! And banish him. Then appears John Bull and is treated in the same manner! The third is Bolshevik, he is taken by his beard and got lost too. Sounds of Wagner, Swastika, Triumph!
Public crying: Sieg Heil! (Hail to victory!). Weiss is crying in a grotesque way as if he`d drunk some gasoline before. Later we see him approaching the actress` dressing room with a bunch of flowers in his hand. Weiss: Freulein Nicole! Elsa: What do you want? Weiss: I’m your admirer! Elsa(pronouncing the password): `Corporal, did your parents teach you not to come in to a lady`s dressing room without knocking at the door?` Weiss(pronouncing the reply): `Gonna even knock at your door 16 times!`
Johann Weiss (Actor Stanislav Liubshin)
Elsa: Nicole! Be kind to see Mr. Corporal to Mr. Polonski. (to Weiss) Hagen: Bitte! (Follow me!) (to Polonski) Mr. Polonski, yesterday when there was no water, beer was stronger. Polonski: Today there`s no water too. Hagen: Where`s that water from? Polonski: This is not water but my teardrops. Elsa(to Weiss): Let`s go! We follow the Fuehrer`s Circular on raising morale of the people. I s`pose the best cover for you would be attentions! I`m a frivolous dancer, so being informal is what`s required. I`m Elsa Boyd, Volksdeutsche, Polish mother and, no doubt, German father. Killed in action. (about Hagen) Don`t worry. He`s of ours. A Russian. Alexei Zubov. Pilot. Lieutenant. Then Polish guerrila. I needed an assistant, so I made him after he`d been verified by the Centre, now he`s Alois Hagen. Nicole on the stage. Weiss: Good!
Elsa: Got medal as a part of your story? Weiss: Nope, awarded by them. Rank of the corporal too. There was a chance to distinguish myself. Elsa: Well, I mean I`ve got a Wehrmacht`s patron now. It`s you! Weiss: What about Hagen? Elsa: His task is to marry that baroness (but Hagen really fell in love with the charming baroness who was chosen for him by Elsa. What an irony of fate! - AAO).
FRAGMENT TWO
CABARET. Backstage. Balletmaster: Now that you are to perform solo, less sports, more that very, I think you understand what I mean. Now there are too many women in the streets. So to pay for watching a woman on stage men do not want her to perform the daily exercises. Elsa is kicking her ass while dancing in an exciting way. (I was impressed! - AAO) Balletmaster: Not bad! Not bad! Break!
Several days later Elsa will have saved an important agent form Gestapo and will have been imprisoned. She was formally declared to be a street thief. Balletmaster was amazed: `To be a thief having got such a slender figure?!` Halfdead Elsa, already in the morgue, was removed from the concentration camp by Weiss and Hagen who asked their bosses to send them there to make an inspection.
NB. As a Soviet man Basov didn’t notice that the pianist in the cabaret was a Jew that could not be true in occupied Warszawa of that time. The parts of the SS-men were often played by Jews in the Soviet films because the Soviet people (o, those candides, saints!) could not understand all the way what part anti-Semitism had been playing in the Nazi ideology. Besides the pianist plays some Chopin’s Polish melodies. Though it’s more likely as Chopin, like Richard Wagner and Frantz Liszt, was a confirmed anti-Semite.
A propos, I liked very much that handsome man who sang for Gremin in opera in a video referenced before. Someone Ivan Ivanovich Petrov, bass. But not all`s so simple as it might seem. Before 1947 there was no operatic bass Ivan Petrov, there was Johann Krause, soloist of Bolshoy (opera, not ballet!) who was born in Irkutsk, Siberia. After the WW2 Stalin, Caesar of the Eastern Roman Empire, visited Bolshoy, admired of the voice of Krause and was angry with his name. He ordered Krause to change it.
Natalie Spieler, another Bolshoy`s Russian German diva advised Krause to wait until Stalin would forget about him. But nothing of the sort! Omnipotent Caesar appeared again & inquired if his will had been delivered to Krause. And Krause changed his name for Petrov.
Thus, Prussian became Russian. There was written that his nationalty was `Russian`in his brand new passport.
As to his new family name, it remained family one in some sense, `cuz he accepted the maiden name of his wife, ballerina of Bolshoy. Later there followed the brilliant career of an operatic general. Though, he really deserved this. History! Just History!
SOMETHING LIKE A TOURISM!
Estonian Public Service Ad For Attracting Tourists Eesti Laul 2015 vaheklipp - ALASTI TÕDE 7 https://youtu.be/6HK_G1MeSLE
ESTONIA WELCOMES TOURISTS FROM ABROAD Estonian Public Service Ad Russian boy: Excuse me, do you speak Russian? Estonian girl(in unintellgible Russian, unreadable accent): Ned! Ned! (No!)
(Another variant of the video: Estonian girl(in perfect colloquial Russian): What? What? (Genetive instead of Accusative case as it happens in the colloquial Russian speech)) Boy: Can you tell me where the nearest shop is, miss? Girl(in Estonian): Some shop! Boy: Yes, yes! Shop! Girl(speaking Estonian): Look here, first learn Estonian! What goes? You all live here, in this country, yet you haven`t been able to learn Estonian for beginners so far! Let me tell you then! We`re in Estonia. One speaks Estonian in Estonia! Exclusively! Boy: Oi! I don’t understand. Girl (with irritation, in perfect Russian, mimicing the boy): I don’t understand! I don’t understand! (in Estonian) Less watch the fucking Russian news, more learn Estonian instead. If you don`t want to learn Estonian, then good riddance! Return to Russia if you would feel better there. But you wouldn`t because to live in the European Union is better! Boy (unfolding a map): Could you tell me our current whereabouts, miss? Girl (in Estonian): So you don`t understand anything what I`m telling you? Not gonna talk with you in Russian in my country. Bye-bye! Boy: But the girl in the hotel said that... Girl (immediately returning back): In the hotel? So you’re a foreign tourist? Boy: Yes, I am a tourist from Murmansk.
(Another variant of the video: Yes, natuerlich (of course, in German. - AAO)! I am a tourist from Murmansk). Girl(in perfect Russian, with joy): That's quite another story! (starting speaking slowly, in broken Russian with a grotesque Estonian accent in a way the Russian expect Estonians to speak) We-e-e-l! ðat's quide anoðer sdo-o-o-ry! Go straighd in ðat ti-re-e-e-ction, a-a-a-nt in five minu-u-u-des afder taking a walk you`ll ged ðere. Boy: Thank you, miss! You are a very kind person. They say in Russia that Estonia is inhabited with fascists. Girl: It’s the Kremlin propaganda! It’s nonsense. Neber pelieve apout id! Boy: Yes, now I see. Well, good-bye! Girl: Good-bye! THE END
What do I think? To learn Estonian is a real punishment! Up to 18 grammatical cases. Mamma mia! Personally, I`d learn it because I take interest in the Finno-Ugric languages. (Besides the E.T. races who travel a lot in the Universe they speak languages either of the Finno-Ugric kind or reminding of the German and Chinese mixture (probably, inflexional tonal language). - AAO). I like Estonians but they are often Nazis indeed. They are free to do as they like, after all. Unfortunately, this people may extinct. For all that, the Russian were the best guarantee of their national survival as the people and nation. Now that Russia left Estonia alone it doesn`t give a damn for that country. This sincere indifference can`t help hurting Estonia`s pride. It was big for Russia only not for the world. As to the very video I liked it very much. I like children. They`re innocent. Besides I like funny (ha-ha) videos! This very one is a real masterpiece! Children play brilliantly. One day Estonians and the Russian will come to an understanding. I know no people who`d be able to appreciate the other cultures as their own like the Russian would. It`s their strong and weak point at once. As to Estonians they`ll hardly ever agree to degrade to the ridiculous position of a small indigenous tribe. If I had been a true Estonian nationalist and even Nazi I would have hardly preferred the EU in the 90s because of the pure pragmatical reasons and for the sake of my nation.
THE RUSSIAN ARE VERY CLEVER, ESPECIALLY JEWS
This saying belongs to Leonid Shebarshin, one of the former chiefs of the Russian Foreign Intelligence Service. I read it in his book `The K.G.B. is kidding too`. But I wanna tell you the other story far from any jamesbondiana. But before this I should (should I?) close the subject, so to say, with laughter. A famous Russian funny story: (doorknock)
- Do they rocket to the Moon in here?
- Nope, they rocket to the arsehole in here. As to the spy Ivanov he lives on the next floor.
The St. Petersburg Conservatory was founded by Anton Rubinstein, and this event played the same part for the Russian classical music and culture as the reforms of Peter the Great did for the state. It was the first educational institution in the Russian Empire where both men and women could learn TOGETHER. That time such a combination seemed an immoral act and was severely resisted by the moral majority. Anton Rubinstein managed to solve all the problems due to the interested participation of Great Duchess Yelena Pavlovna (Friederike Charlotte Marie Prinzessin von Württemberg).
By the way, Anton Rubinstein was the favourite virtuoso pianist of Czar Nicholas I.
He was often invited to play for the Royal family as a friend, not as a guest.
Anton Rubinstein and Grand Duchess had got a private talk on that topic in Nice, France. She represented the very Czar Alexandre II and since one can`t etre plus royaliste que le roi, the question was solved positively.
Alexandre II ordered to call the music institution `conservatoire`, or `conservatory` in the Russian pronunciation. Initially all who graduated from it received the merited citizenship of the Russian Empire. The first student who graduated the Conservatory with honours was then unknown Piotr Tchaikovsky.
Music has become the prestigious profession since then in Russia. Rubinstein was awarded the title of the Full Councillor of State (civil major general). There was built a special building for it in Teatralnaya square, House 3.
Conservatory`s sponsor, landlord Vasiliy Kologrivov (see him below) donated all his money and went bankrupt. The art often meant more than money that time.
There were three great Chancellors of the Conservatory, Rubinstein, Rimsky-Korsakov and Glazunov. Anton Rubinstein was not only a great administrator, virtuoso pianist but also a great Russian composer. His easiest, very popular things can often be heard over the radio. They are spectacular. Just listen to this opus.
But he composed many much more sophisticated works. He mostly gravitated to the Russian themes. He was very Russian in his music as Isaac Levitan was in painting.
The person who downloaded the below video commented: `I have decided to upload this recording. Which I think outshines the others`. Very much so, very much. Nicholas Milton (Conductor), Joseph Moog (Piano) & German State Philarmonic Orchestra of Rheinland-Pfalz managed to express the very Russiannes of the music to the full extent. It`s a congenial interpretation. No doubt. The act of co-creation. By the way, St. Petersburg Conservatory was established in 1862.
As to Anton Rubinstein he was a very clever person and is well-known as the author of many brilliant maxims. E.g., `Letter `I` is the only capital letter being written by Englishmen. I find it to be the best expression of their national character`. Or this one: `The Art is Eve giving an apple to a young artiste. ... success is a insinuating serpent`.
Or that one: `Slander is no less dangerous arms than the fire arms`. Or: `To reach what`s possible never forget to reach what’s impossible`. Or: `Divorce in case of an unhappy marriage is more moral than keeping the conjugal bonds because it eliminates the deception and lies`. But my most favourite quotation of his is `Writing is a pleasure while having it printed is a responsibility`. `Anton Rubinstein had got the Beethhoven`s head and suffered from the rare illness of eyelids. But it didn’t spoil his appearance, vice versa.
By tradition there have been many Jews among the Conservatory students, and by this reason its anniversary editions are often jocularly called by the students the favourite books of Adolf Hitler. As to Anton Rubinstein he considered himself to be Russian and even composed an opera `Jesus Christ` discovered by chance in the Russian archives in the end of the 20 c.
Now you know that Andrew Lloyd Webber had got a predecessor in Anton Rubinstein too.
THE BIRD OF JOVE: HEADS OR TAILS?
By Sergei Mikhalkov, Russia THE FUGITIVE
When I sat at the table, ate,
An eagle flew into my flat.
Having sat down knee to knee
It spread and flapped its mighty wings.
I freezed and stared, sat stock-still,
I couldn`t utter an-n-ny-th-th-thing!
It was the eagle who came in,
And not a simple dove of peace.
It glanced. It opened its sharp beak.
All of a sudden it could speak!
`When still a nestling, twixt the rocks,
I was caught in a snare with cocks.
The fowler sold me to the Zoo
Where I grew up, caged, freedomproof.
I only dreamt about the sky
And I forgot how to fly`.
The runaway fell silent. Then
I sheltered it, I did my best.
I fed and watered it. That`s true!
I didn`t even phone the Zoo! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Сергей Михалков БЕГЛЕЦ
Я за столом сидел и ел,
Когда в окно Орел влетел
И сел напротив, у стола,
Раскинув два больших крыла.
Сижу. Дивлюсь. Не шевелюсь
И слово вымолвить боюсь:
Ведь прилетел ко мне за стол
Не чижик-пыжик, а Орел!
Глядит. Свой острый клюв раскрыл.
И тут мой гость заговорил:
- Я среди скал, почти птенцом,
Был пойман опытным ловцом.
Он в зоопарк меня отвез.
Я в клетке жил. В неволе рос,
О небе только мог мечтать,
И разучился я летать...
Беглец умолк. И я как мог
Его пригрел, ему помог —
И накормил, и напоил,
И в зоопарк не позвонил.
NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK, OR LOS ROBOTS NO LLORAN ... TAMBIEN
After * Vladimir Vysotsky, Russia THE HAPPY MANNEQUINS
Six days our old and tired God,
Working hard, fit to drop, in a hurry
Created our wretched world
And all flesh, in pairs, for a scurry.
Is it a laughing matter?
But in his own stead
Our God created Adam,
Our pilot specimen.
Our God’s idea was quite good.
Today no one finds fault with it.
It’s certain now as two and two
That Adam was his mannequin.
A poor excuse for our God,
Apology for his genetics,
We follow paths that once he trod
And idolize cybernetics.
Deprived of any hope
To keep the trouble-free genes,
We are on verge of groping
Our virtual images.
Tarry a while, be outbleeped!
Just look around, it’s no myth.
Being in the likeness of us, people,
Unlike us they are simply synths.
The life of theirs is quite cool.
They’re being taken care of.
They shouldn’t earn a living, dude,
Besides they are immortal! O!
They are so civil, look at them!
They don’t give a damn for all.
Forever full of joie de vivre
They are no match for crazy folks.
Just look! They are not all alone
Either in public, in bed or in mansions.
They are as passionless as stones,
Though elegant, evenly handsome.
So I would offer a brave plan,
Kind of innocent seasonal frolicking.
We, human beings, ought to join their clan
And leave no place for the mannequins.
But I’m about to swear
That something will go wrong.
And they will hardly ever
Lose to our heathen throng.
No doubt, they are not for fun,
They will refuse to be our slaves.
They’ll take all places in the sun.
They won’t agree to tolerate.
We make a big play for them all.
They feel us be offending.
There are the slogans on the walls:
`Beware of the mannequins!`**
They are not taxed in any way.
They don’t care about being out.
Quite recently they robbed a bank
But none got killed in that wild rumble.
Due to the natural defects,
E.g., we can’t all the time be waking.
It’s our race that they’ll infect.
They’ll do it for the sake of mannequins.
1973 (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
* `After` = à la Paganini-Liszt (I haven`t been too modest and jumped on the Vysotsky`s bandwagon (like a flea!!! Great Leap Forward & IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!)).
In the original it’s a soundtrack song from the Mikhail Schweitzer`s feature film `Mister MacKinley`s Escape` of 1976. The lyrics are quite clumsy, yet the great poets are great even if they let things go hang. I kept the unexpectedly changing rhythm of the song-poem intact, got rid of some weak, illogical stances and rhymes. The Happy Mannequins remained faithful to the tune of the song.
Vladimir Vysotsky`s song `Mr. Happy Mannequin`. Sung by Vysotsky himself as he played as a singing actor in that film. https://youtu.be/HnPvQGL63qE
One can think it’s a satire implying the fugitives. Not in the least, mind the date – 1976 (the film) and 1973 (the poem!)! This poem is sooner related to Bill Gates`s way of thing regarding the working robots.
** `Beware of the mannequins!` (1) or as variants: `Take care of the mannequins!`(2) or `Take care of the fucken mannequins!` (3) where (1) graffiti of the protesting, resisting, `radical` humans, (2) mass media, official propaganda slogans imitating the public art, (3) an evil irony of the helpless human beings. How to combine all three meanings? All three varians are admitted by the inner logic of Vysotsky`s poem.
THE BURNING FUSE: A SHORT EXCURSUS TO THE SOVIET AUDIOVISUAL SATIRE & HUMOUR
The expression `satiric luingvistics` belongs to the Russian actor Alexandre Schirwindt
PREFACE
THE BURNING FUSE (`ФИТИЛЬ`)`s humorous and satiric videos were being shown before the film shows in the USSR since 1962. They were super popular. They not only criticized the social drawbacks of the country but also whether intentionally or not reflected some distinctive features of the Soviet way of life which was based on the left liberal ideology which is only now conquering Europe and the USA. Feminism was one of the main, practical and natural features of that ideology and dominated in the Soviet country.
Party and state bodies as well as public opinion were on the alert for any violation of the women’s rights whether it concerned public or even private spheres. Though, the private life could only be interfered with the trade unions and party organizations after a woman’s official filing a complaint.
In many cases women held men’s balls in their hands, for instance, divorce and successful career of a man were linked inversely. In the 60s the Soviet propaganda was struggling for the rights of the unwed moms and rather soon, very quickly carried out the real revolt in the public mind, in its modernization. In the early 70s feminist standards were considered to be as a matter of course by people though a decade earlier it was just a matter of the left liberal ideology and the Communist party which ruled the country that time.
Sergei Mikhalkov in full feather
The satire was widely used for making the left liberal ideas and fantasies come true, as to the humour it often made those initiatives the standing jests and parodies. Some were really funny and therefore successful. The Burning Fuse videos contributed a lot to those efforts. The chief editor of that artistic and documentary `magazine` was Sergei Mikhalkov, father of the famous Russian film directors Nikita Mikhalkov and Andron Mikhalkov-Konchalovsky.
He was very influential. His videos were very smashing and effective and therefore afraid of by the economic executives and bureaucrats because of the possible negative consequences of the mud digging and telling criticism. As to the pure artistic plots of The Burning Fuse shows they were eagerly played by the leading actors and actresses of the country. Some sketches are up to date, witty and funny.
The Crocodile Logo
The satiric and humorous editions were also of great demand in the USSR of the 60-70s of the 20 c. The leading edition of the above-mentioned type was The Crocodile (`Крокодил`) magazine owing to its sharp satirical articles and brilliant cartoons. The caricature collections were also best sellers that time.
Nowadays both The Burning Fuse and other video and printed satiric and humorous editions departed from the Russian social life. Right liberalism is averse to the social satire, the nature of humour has changed as well. Other times, other manners:
Hey, you librarian with the shapely legs! Stop putting on airs,//On! To a sauna with us to have sex!
The history, however, is used to repeat itself though not always in the same places. The Russian got theirs to the full extent, now let`s the other counties and regions of the world get theirs 100 years after the Russian revolution of 1917!
KABALE UND LIEBE (INTRIGUE AND LOVE)
THE BURNING FUSE (1965): `Intrigue and love`. Actor Boris Bibikov, actresses Klaudia Polovikova and Tatiana Novikova (a young temptress).
Beauty (cashier): The tickets are sold out! Come back in an hour! You may get a reserved ticket. Hullo! Hullo! Vasiliy Zakharovich? It’s me. How now? To the Caucasus? No! No! I need a place in a sanatorium of the Academy of Sciences. Only the holiday center of the Academy of Sciences. Beauty: Who is it? Someone beside her: Ah! It’s an Academician Rudenko. Beauty: Academician? (Voices on the porch) Hello! Hello! Come in! You’re welcome. IN A WEEK Beauty (rowing a boat and singing):
Do not call up shades of the past days.
Days that had gone, days that had gone. (to young guys motoring perilously close to the boat): Hang you, you fucken arseholes! Academician: What have you said? Beauty: I’m saying: `How beautiful it is here! Simply amazing!` IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS Beauty (sitting with the Academician on the bench in the park and reciting a poem):
I dreamt of autumn in the dusk of window glasses.
There were friends and you in their motley crew.
My heart as if a falcon full of blood it got beyond the clouds
Alighted on the wrist of yours, predestined to its doom. IN THREE WEEKS Academician: Why don’t you have your supper? Beauty: I don’t want to eat much. Academician: That’ll never do! You eat like nothing on earth! What’s the matter? Beauty: I can’t tell you! IN FOUR WEEKS (doorknock) Beauty: Yes-yes, come in! Old Lady: I’d like to talk with you. Beauty: You are welcome. Old Lady: I’m sorry but I have to ask you that question. Do you really love him so much? Beauty: Whom? Old Lady: My husband! Beauty: Yes, I do! Old Lady: Well, but I want you to know that he is a very ill man. Stenocardia! Beauty: We’ll start visiting resorts more often! We’ll hire a housemaid. Old Lady: Wouldn’t it be beyond your means? Beauty: It wouldn’t be because he is an Academician after all. Old Lady: Ha! I have to upset you, my dear! The matter is that it’s me who is an Academician, not him! THE END
COMMENTS
Actress of the Moscow Mossovet Theatre and operatic singer Tatiana Novikova played just several roles in cinema and on TV. In particular, viewers remembered her character of the Queen of Undines in Anatole France`s `Abeille` in the same name TV film of 1984.
*The old Russian love song `Do not call up shades of the past days` by an unknown author (N.N.) was set to music by a remarkable Russian composer of the 19 c. Pyotr Petrovich Bulakhov (1822-1885).
Nina Isakova (1928-1981) (mezzo soprano) Piotr Bulakhov `Do not call up shades of the past days.
Do not call up shades of the past days.
Days that had gone, days that had gone.
It’s no use reviving old flame.
It’s not my dole, it’s not my dole.
Turn not your eyes to me, enticing,
Beguile me not, beguile me not!
Love is a dream. Albeit charming,
It won’t return, it won’t return.
Just once in life we can enjoy
The fruit of bliss, the fruit of bliss.
The holy flame of happy folly
Makes people live, makes people live.
But as soon as the sacred fire
One dared to stifle, one dared to stifle.
You’ll never bring back the desire
You couldn’t keep, you couldn’t keep. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
**
The `Intrigue and love` is a five-act play written by the great German dramatist Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805). It was his 3rd play. It shows that misalliances are used to meet the underwater rocks `now and ever, and unto ages of ages`.
*** The young temptress trying her best to prove that she is a cultured and cultural person to impress the ageing but well-provided scientist is reciting the Boris Pasternak`s poem `The Dream`.
Борис Пастернак СОН Мне снилась осень в полусвете стекол,//Друзья и ты в их шутовской гурьбе,//И, как с небес добывший крови сокол,//Спускалось сердце на руку к тебе.//Но время шло, и старилось, и глохло,//И, поволокой рамы серебря,//Заря из сада обдавала стекла//Кровавыми слезами сентября.//Но время шло и старилось. И рыхлый,//Как лед, трещал и таял кресел шелк.//Вдруг, громкая, запнулась ты и стихла,//И сон, как отзвук колокола, смолк.//Я пробудился. Был, как осень, темен// Рассвет, и ветер, удаляясь, нес,//Как за возом бегущий дождь соломин,//Гряду бегущих по небу берез.
By Boris Pasternak THE DREAM
I dreamt of autumn in the dusk of window glasses.
There were friends and you in their motley crew.
My heart as if a falcon full of blood it got beyond the clouds
Alighted on the wrist of yours, predestined to its doom.
But time was passing, getting old, subsiding.
The dawn while making silver framings languishing as eyes
Was pouring blood red tears of September
O`er window glasses from the garden’s side.
But time was passing, getting old. And rotten
Silk of the chairs cracked and thawed as ice.
You, boisterous, stopped short as if forgotten.
The dream like echo of a bell grew vague at once.
I woke up. Dawn was dark as in late autumn,
And wind while moving off drove north
The skyline of the birch trees as a rainfall
Of straws from a straw cart when they pour forth. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
A LYRICAL DIGRESSION: THAT HEARTBRREAKING IDA
Boris Pasternak fell in love for the first time rather late when he was 20 years old. He fell in love with Ida Wissotzky, the daughter of a wealthy Moscow merchant. It was love at first sight. The parents sent Ida to learn abroad. By that reason Pasternak asked his parents also to send him to learn in Germany. He declared his love in Marburg and was refused.
Later he wrote the same name famous poem dedicated to Ida. In 1913 Boris Pasternak transformed his love into the yellow-purple tints of autumn in another poem of his `The Dream`. The falcon, i.e. lyrical hero of the poem, presents his heart but that gift is refused. The nature of time is being interestingly changed in the poem too. Finally the hero woke up and forgot his love. It was a love remedy.
As to Ida Wissotzky she was a daughter of the Wissotzky Tea Co.`s owner who was an exclusive supplier of the Russian Royal Court. That Russian tea company was the largest in the world that time. After leaving the Russian classical school Ida learned in England, in Cambridge. She was infatuated with Shakespeare as it was obvious from her letters to Pasternak. Although a Jewish girl she was a tall blonde. Later she married a banker Feldzer and died in 1979.
The Wissotzkis Mansion figuring as one of characters of the poem by Boris Pasternak
By then the company of her late father, David Wissotzky, became the leading tea company in Israel. Of course, there was an abyss between Boris and Ida in the financial respect. Ida considered him a prospective friend for any chance; she could never expect that he would become a world-famous poet. Did she regret her refusal? Hardly ever. Poetry is poetry, but life is life.
In connection with this I remember the wisest lady Zaza Gabor who was very successfully hunting for the rich men. Reporter: You only love the wealthy men! Zaza Gabor: You’re wrong. I like merry fellows. They, however, are met mostly among the rich.
SCHIRWINDT, OR `HOW UNWED FATHERS FEEL ABOUT BEING UNWED MOTHERS` (1968)
THE BURNING FUSE (1968): `The unwed fathers` Played by Alexandre Schirwindt.
How do the unwed fathers appear? This question became the subject of our public opinion poll. There were questioned 35 men, and as a result of it the sociologists traced the process of the transformation of a young man into an unwed father. We are going to illustrate that process by example of Anatoly Shumayev born in 1938. That’s what we were asked to tell you by Slava S. as Anatoly asked us to present him before the audience. (The signboard in the background reads: Infant feeding - distributing centre, working hours 6 a.m.-11 p.m.) Interviewer: Slava, tell us please the way you happened to become an unwed father. Speak into the microphone, please. Slava: I met Claudia K. by chance in the street. She approached me and offered to make the acquaintance. I refused it as it is not in my principles to make the acquaintance in the street. But, all of a sudden, it occurred that I had got a vacant evening while she had got a spare cinema ticket. So I agreed. Then when we… she accompanied me on our way from the cinema she expressed her desire to kiss me in the entrance ... e-e-eh in that very ... dark place in a gateway or somewhere like that.
Well, of course, I wanted ... (to his baby) baby, what’s with you, wanna drink? ... to break off with her ... (to his baby) he doesn’t want to drink .... but, all of a sudden, it occurred that she had got a scooter and she played the electric guitar in a jazz band. A very interesting person. Not like the ones who are used to attach themselves to us right in the streets. Well, after that we met three or four times, all in all, a couple of times ... well, and she made up her mind to invite me to her home.
Some time passed and she informed me that I would likely to become the father soon. I got excited, started sobbing and told her that if she was an honest person she was obliged to marry me. All of a sudden, it became clear that she wouldn’t like to encumber herself with the family and that it was me who was to have thought about the consequences beforehand. Well, I became an unwed father in that very way. Interviewer: Excuse me, whom do you have got, a boy or a girl? Slava: E… e-e-e-h .. a boy! Dima (from Dmitry. - AAO). Well, my own father seemed to have been right when he warned that you couldn’t trust a girl all right before she had married you. All that ... happened with me ... it might not have happened ... if school and other educational institutions would have brought up us properly and cultivated the men’s honour in us ... and a male pride.
HE WAS A REPLICA OF MICHEALANGELO`S DAVID
The unwed dad was being played by the then young actor Alexandre Schirwindt (born in 1934). A prominent Russian actor, remarkable, very handsome man, true gentleman. Since 1957 he`s been a professor of the Shchukin Drama School. He is the original part of the Shchuka (lit. `Pike`) as that Moscow drama school is informally called by its students. (The students of another, Shchepkin Drama School are used to call it simply `the Shchepka` (lit. `Splinter`)). Since 2000 Schirwindt’s been the artistic director of the Moscow Academic Theatre of Satire.
In 20016, sorry, in 2016 Mr. Schirwindt looks like that:
Not bad for his age of 82. His close friend and classmate is a son of Nikita Khrushchev Sergei now living in Philadelphia, USA.
Though Alexandre Schirwindt serves in the Theatre of Satire his predominant dramatic type has been le jeune premier.
Alexandre Schirwindt played Le Major des dragons, comte de Château-Gibus in a Leonid Kvinihidze (Leonid Feinzimmer) film `The Сelestial Swallows` based on Hervé`s operette `Mam'zelle Nitouch`. Part of Corinne is peformed by Lyudmila Gurchenko. https://youtu.be/jstFpBJQtdE
Yes, Alexandre Schirwindt contrived always to remain faithful to the dramatic type of an inveterate `lady-killer`
even in the comedies. He did it naturally, easily.
The concluding dialogue reads: Mistress (actress Lyudmila Gurchenko): So be it, come in! But you’re going to be only the third, poor devil. C`mon, Mommy’s at home. Ex-soldier: A kind word is able to make even a pussy cat feel joy! Mistress: No! Tom cat!
In spite of his radiant beauty Schirwindt contrived to remain faithful to just one woman in real life, his own wife. They’ve been living together for more than 50 years. In this connection Alexandre says he must be a degenerate among the bohemians.
WHEN SAD THINGS CAUSE LAUGHTER
TV CHANNEL `CULTURE`: The Satire Theatre`s premier.
The Crazy Time is the first Russian production of the famous American playwright Sam Bobrick. The artistic director of the theatre Alexandre Schirwindt used this play to make fun of the modern craze for staying young forever. The performance turned out to be a mischievous farce with a tragic tinge. Sighs seem to be very ambiguous. It is getting clear that the situations promise to be very tricky. A respectable man who has got grandsons joined a rush for the eternal youth. Jogging, diet, meditation. After the divource that halved the private means of his there appeared a new wife who is 30 years younger. The director of the performance Alexandre Schirwindt says he is an old-fashioned one, so he can`t help being astonished at what happens with a generation of those who are now about fifty years old. He`s becoming alert! Alexandre Schirwindt: `On the one hand, a sudden, if not wild drop between the old and young wives, on the other hand, an attempt to remain young by all means, to get it all, to be in time, to succeed, to fit. In my youth there was an expression: `Never part with the boyscouts, I`ll be always young indeed!` Now there are not those red boyscouts with their slogans, but there`s fitness designed to help you build your body and energize to continue your own rat race.`
Actor Yuri Vasiliyev, playing the title part, says that his Siberian health helps him feel good in his age (he`s 62 years old) without special exercises though to play in the play he had to follow a special diet. On the other hand, he followed it not very exactly. The actor confessed that his character was very close to him. He is now in the same situation as the hero of the play. He went through all that experienced his hero in the real life. Yuri Vasiliev: `What is written in the play was in my life, so I play very honestly, though easily, entertaningly since the play is a comedy, after all.`
Words `sex` and `death` sound in the play not once. They are interlinked. Signs of ageing, thoughts of death, desire to challenge your fate lead to the situation when the lifelong marriage is being destroyed. Alyona Yakovleva, the heroine of the play, is sure that this is a standard situation now. Alyona Yakovleva: I want our women, nice Russian women, all women of Russia, to pull themselves together rather than to feel pity of the lost marriage. I want them to manifest themselves in something, not necessarily to find a younger boyfriend as the character I am playing. They should solve the problem successfully and with dignity.
The play doesn’t recommend anything. The author haven’t got ready answers. The ageing gentlemen hunting for the young girlfriends give cause for smiling. The space images in the set design seem to stress the global scale of the phenomena described in the play. THE END
THE COMICAL SONG, OR THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST
`The comical song`. Though this mise-en-scène is absent in the text of `Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog)` by Jerome K. Jerome, published in 1889, it is present in the Russian dramatization of this novel as being `true to the spirit of the original`(film director of the same name light-hearted musical comedy was Naum Biermann) (See: `Russia beyond headlines` by Elena Korenévskaya, March 28, 2014). This scene was improvised by the actors who were filmed in it. It seemed very-very British for them. Sir Samuel William Harris - Alexandre Schirwindt, Young Lady - Maria Belkina, Pianist - Igor` Okrepilov, Listener - Izil` Zabludovsky, Deaf old gentleman - Lev Lemke, Lady of the house- Anna Lisianskaya, timid young lady - Irina Geuer (Smirnova), her father - Mikhail Devyatkin.
Sir Samuel William Harris: Ladies and gentlemen, I am going to perform the comical song. Young lady: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Sir Samuel: Charmingly! This charming miss is encouraging me though I haven’t begun to sing my comical song yet. (to pianist) Start, Sir! Pianist: Sir! Sir Samuel: Well, comical song. Comical song! Co... Stop! Do you really think you can listen to the comical song with such a doleful and pious visage? I’ll be much obliged if you and your visage leave this place. Quick to the garden! Listener: With whom, Sir? Sir Samuel: With your visage! Listener: But my visage would like to listen all the way! Sir Samuel: Quick to the garden. To the gar-den! To the garden! (to pianist) Start, Sir! Pianist: Sir! Sir Samuel: Well, comical song. Comical song! It’s a ... Young lady: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Sir Samuel: Why are you laughing? I see you can’t help laughing. I haven’t sung anything! Young lady: Ha-ha... Sir Samuel: Go laughing to the garden! Come on! To the garden! Take your boyfriend there. Deaf old gentleman: What are you singing about? Sir Samuel: Aren’t you still in the garden? Deaf old gentleman: No, I am not! Sir Samuel: Then go to the garden! Deaf old gentleman: Are you going to sing there? Sir Samuel: It`s you who is going to listen there. Deaf old gentleman: Oh! Clear! Sir Samuel (to pianist): Start, Sir! My comical song. Comical song! It’s neither recitative nor arioso nor air! It’s a ... Stop! O my timid lady who is easily moved to tears! Go to sob to the garden together with your charming family! All family! To the garden! All the family! All! Should I ask you twice? (to pianist): Start, Sir! Usually I sing my comical song ... Stop! (to a group of the old ladies) It’s hard to perform the comical song when someone is dozing and nodding. You, you and... An Old lady: What about me? Sir Samuel: So it be! You too! Ladies, all stand up! Old Ladies (in chorus): What?! Sir Samuel: To the garden! Quick! (to pianist) Now it’s your turn, Sir! Why are you playing? You keep playing all the time! Pianist: I am on my way! Sir! Sir Samuel: To the garden, Sir? Pianist: Yessir! Lady of the house: How so? Sam Samuel! Sorry, Sir Samuel! Sir Samuel: What’s the matter? What has happened? What upset you? My dear! Lady of the house: What’s it all about, after all? Sir Samuel: This is the comical song! All that is what it is! Have you understood it, uh? Lady of the house: Oh! Now I see! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Sir Samuel: Right! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Isn’t it funny indeed? THE END
Jerome Klapka Jerome (1859-1927), son of an exiled Hungarian general György Klapka, was a perfect Victorian gentleman who described the life, love and adventures of the other `Victorian gentlemen: a bit awkward, kind-hearted and romantic, wearing striped swimsuits and funny hats`. He visited Russia in 1899, recorded his impressions in the interesting article `Russians, As I Know Them` (published in Russia in 1906). By the way, he liked Russia and the Russian, probably because he understood them. The Russian have been loving him since they read his novels too. `Anglophilia remained a good tradition among educated Russians through the centuries`. (`Russia beyond headlines` by Elena Korenévskaya, March 28, 2014). What about Russophilia? Except for Jerome K. Jerome there were other British admirers of Russia in the past. That time, however, none guessed to call them the Kremlin minions.
SCHIRWINDT: CITY & MAN
Family name of Schirwindt doesn’t sound in a Russian way. But everyone has got their own excusable `drawbacks`. The outstanding Russian actor Alexandre Schirwindt is a Jew by descent. His ancestors were called the Schirwindts as they inhabited the East Prussian city Schirwindt. It was a longstanding tradition, by the way. Jews from Poznań (Poland) are often known as the Posners, from Modena (Italy) as the Modenas, from Padova as the Pad(o)vas from Landau as the Landaus or the Landauers (just remember Natalie Landauer from the Cabaret). As to the Shapiros the whole world belongs to them. The Russian saying goes: `Two hemispheres, two Shapiros`.
City Schirwindt, the easternmost city of East Prussia bordering on Lithuania was destroyed in 1945. It was the first city that was entered by the Red Army troops outside Russia. The Russian soldiers who were very angry with the military crimes of their German opponents in Russia became angry as much as twice after witnessing that Germany was rich while their Russia was poor and they could not realize the reason for the German invasion. They gave no quarter and acted without mercy. The intellectuals and Christians in the Red Army were helpless to protect the aboriginals and appealed to Joseph Stalin who at last had to order to have the guilty soldiers and officers shot on spot. But it was later. Now Schirwindt City that existed from 1515 to 1945 is a deserted settlement Kutuzovo in Kranoznamensky district of the Kaliningradsky region 54°46'50'' n. lat. 22°50'50'' e. long. After the war it was the former Warsaw Treaty firing ground, then a frontier post.
The former city became famous in Russia after 2006 when Alexandre Schirwindt issued his book of memoirs entitled `Schirwindt, стертый с лица земли` (`Schirwindt leveled to the ground`) and described his visit to his ancestry`s native city. As to him he knew about that city in 1944 when he was a teenager from his cousin, an artillery major Schirwindt, who sent him a front newspaper`s clipping with the headline `We have liberated Schirwindt` (`Мы освободили Ширвиндт`).
Anchorman: Your favourite city should have been Kutuzov city whose real name is Schirwindt. The former estermost German city. Schirwindt: It`s near Koenigberg, i.e. Kaliningrad. Anchorman: You should have privatized that city. Schirwindt: There were some attempts ... Anchorman: You wrote your book of memoirs where you mentioned that city. Schirwindt: Yes, I did it, I told about Schirwindt City. A unique story! It was completely destructed during the WW2. I visited that place with my partner and friend Derzhavin when we were invited to the jubilee of another city in the region, either Krasnogvardeysk or Krasnoznamensk ... Anchorman: Nothing remained, really? Schirwindt: Only a German dugout and basement of Kirche (church. - AAO). And nothing more. But by our arrival they had found somewhere an original German wooden signboard `Schirwindt` written in Latin.
They erected it in the centre of the waste. They must have expected me to have been bathed in tears moved by that. I thought it would be good to purchase that land, to turn the dugout into a wine cellar ... Anchorman: ... or you could have turned it into a theatre, auditorium ... Schirwindt: Theatre? It’s an inhabited place, so I would have had to perform and only Derzhavin (An outstanding actor Mikhail Derzhavin, his close friend and partner. - AAO) would have had to watch me. Anchorman: Ha-ha-ha! Yet people would come to watch performances there, I’m sure. Schirwindt: Well, would you arrive there for that? Anchorman: Absolutely! Exactly! I watch all the new performances. Schirwindt: As to me I can`t understand why it was called Kutuzov. I see no logic. Anchorman: There’s little logic in life. MOTTO OF THE PROGRAM: Without political correctness but without an evil design, without sarcasm, with partiality but honestly, program `m24` and its anchorman Evgeny Dodolev, from Monday to Thursday. THE END
FIRST OF ALL, YOU DON`T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH
`God damn it!`: La folle journee, ou le Mariage de Figaro by Pierre Beaumarchais, (`The Mad Day, or the Marriage of Figaro`). Andrei Mironov (Figaro) and Alexandre Schirwindt (Le Comte) https://youtu.be/apcm47aVpm0
Count Almaviva: You know, Figaro, it was my intention to have taken you with me as a diplomatic courier to London … Figaro: So His Excellency has changed his intention? Count Almaviva: First of all, you don’t understand English. Figaro: But I do! What do you say?! I know `God damn it`! English, it’s so simple; you need to know just a little to achieve much. One who knows `God damn it` won’t ever get lost in England. Do you want to eat a slice of good fat chicken? Enter any inn, just do like that, beckon a waiter and pronounce: `God damn it`! And next moment you are being served with the corned beef without some bread. Or you would like to have a glass of the superb champagne or Burgundy wine! Do like that: `Boy! Mm-m! God damn it!` And you are given a tin mug of beer full to the brim with the white head! Satisfaction guaranteed! Or you met one of those pretty things who casting their eyes down modestly, thrusting out their little elbows and wiggling their hips mince along in the street. Press your fingertips to your mouth elegantly and pronounce: `God damn it!` And she’ll give you a loud slap in the face! That means she has understood what you had meant! Of course, Englishmen sometimes use the other words in their speech too, but it’s easy to understand that `God damn it!` is a foundation of the English speech. Well, Your Excellency! Try to say in English: `God damn it!` Count Almaviva: Ha-ha-ha! God damn it! Figaro: Be unconstrained: `God damn it!` Count Almaviva: Well, if you will, `God damn it!` Figaro: What`s this `if you will` , `Go`em it`?! (further goes a torrent of free English speech that obviously hurting Count’s pride). THE END
COMPETENT ADVOCACY
THE BURNING FUSE: Competent Advocacy (1964). Actors: Roland Bykov (Pedestrian), L. Durov, G. Sergeyev (Robbers)
(a pedestrian walking in a backstreet place) Mugger #1: Hi, Mister Big Guy! Give us your wristwatch ... Mugger #2: ... and money. Pedestrian: Well, so this is what ... a street robbery case is to be built. Glad to meet you. I’m an attorney Pankow. It’s me who is likely to be your own attorney at the trial, so we have to discuss all the details beforehand, or else the defence promises to be very difficult. Mugger #1: What is he talking, this little one? Mugger #2: Stop wagging you tongue (lit. `stop scratching the bug`. - AAO) and forward march to the back entrance! Pedestrian: What on earth are you doing! This is a violence aggravated robbery, another moment and after maiming me you are likely to be imprisoned for 15 years. Article 146 of the Criminal Code. If it comes true, even I would have hardly helped you. I see I have to give you all you`d requested without any resistance. Here you are, my purse! Up to 3 years of imprisonment. Oh! I’m sorry! I’ve quite forgotten, there are two of you. A couple! Muggers: W-e-e-ell! Pedestrian: So it suggests the more strict punishment in accordance with Article 146, Clause A, forming a gang, a group robbery. (to the mugger #1) Couldn’t you have managed to rob me by himself? Or else we wouldn’t be able to get out of such a quagmire at the trial! Mugger #1 while silently gesticulating wonders if he must be off. The attorney is nodding, and he’s disappearing. Pedestrian (to the mugger #2): As to you, youngster, you are making your relief-to-be harder, and it’s your fault. What is it? It’s but a gun!!! Clause B, Article 146, Use of weapons. 15 years of imprisonment, an exile, deprivation of property! You’d better hide this thing! Like that! (Attorney is removing the gun and putting it into the mugger`s pocket!) Now I think that the defence is to be successful. You owe me a ruble for the legal advice. As there were two of you, you owe me three rubles. Taking into account the non-working hours, you owe me 12 rubles. Mugger #2 (while feeling in the attorney’s purse): Here is only five rubles! Pedestrian: Oh yes! Never mind! You’re welcome to bring the deficient amount tomorrow. The legal advice office is round the corner over here. Mugger #2: Don’t worry! Tomorrow we’ll bring even more! Pedestrian: I’d not recommend it to you! It would be giving a bribe! The Corruption Article! Up to capital punishment! Mugger #2 (bowing and removing his hat): Thank you, dear Sir! We could have got into a pretty mess! Thank you very much! Good bye! Pedestrian: Never mind! Mistakes happen! Good bye! See you soon! THE END
ROLAND FURIEUX IN OVERCOAT
Iconic Russian Actor Roland Bykov (1929-1998) called jocularly Roland furieux (after Ariosto`s `Orlando furioso`) owing to his indomitable temper was born in Kiev, Russia, in a Polish-Jewish family. After the WW1 his father Simon Hieronymus Gordanowski changed his name and became Anton Mikhailovich Bykov. The name of his mother was Ella Sitniakowska. As to Roland he had been Russian to the core since his birth. He was a very talented actor, maybe even a genius (and sometimes he really was! Oh, yeah, baby!).
He played iconic Akakiy Bashmachkin in the dramatization of Nikolai Gogol`s Overcoat. It was an achievement! Every Russian schoolboy knows that along with Pushkin`s The Belkin Tales and Lermontov`s `A Hero of Our Time` the whole classical literature of Russia of the 19 c. came out of Gogol`s `Overcoat`.
Head of an office: Mister Bashmachkin, mister Bashmachkin! Please be good enough to do one thing. You must rewrite an application for the district court. It’s an easy thing. But you should change the capital letter in the title and to replace `I intercede ... ` with `the above-mentioned person intercedes ...`. Then just copy the rest of the text, word-to-word, point to point. Bashmachkin: I should write not `I intercede... ` but `he, he intercedes ...`. (to the head of an office) I can’t. I got old, I am slow to grasp. Better give me to rewrite something word-to-word. I’ve accustomed to that practice. Head of an office: If a promotion is out of your line, let it be. I offered you more difficult task to help you to have the new overcoat made. It’s getting cold, after all. Or you can be noticed by His Excellency inopportunely. There are other reasons too. How long there have left until your pension? Bashmachkin: A year and a half. Head of an office: Return to your work, work. THE END
LUP TOH BOO DEE DOO BOODAI, OR FROM PUSHKIN TO OKUDZHAVA
Roland was ready to play the part of Alexandre Pushkin, but was refused by the cinema officials as an undersized man with a trail of the comic roles that had been following after him since the very beginning of his artistic career. He seemed very strange indeed and the cinema authorities were a little bit afraid of him and his artistic experiments. Roland contributed a lot to the cinema for children and teenagers of the USSR. Personally, I don`t like his children’s films as they remind me of a mixture of the brave art house and Philistine drama. I never believed in his love for children, and children also had no special liking for his movies which were either too experimental and not very natural or made advances to the parents. It’s mostly parents who loved his children’s film.
He ceased pretending to be the President of Children rather late in the fierce, ruthless and severe 90s after a teenager from the family of his close friends from White Russia had allegedly cold-heartedly executed by shooting his parents and their friends in their Parisian cottage. (The teenager could hardly do it; moreover, the method of shooting was later literally repeated during the murder of the rebellious Russian general Leon Rokhlin who challenged Boris Yeltsin and was preparing a conspiracy against him. That time there was cynically blamed no child, but the general’s wife who allegedly had shot him. It could have been the same migrating international death squad. As to the episode in Paris it might have been just a pre-planned training for them. - AAO).
But as an actor playing in the films for children of other film directors Roland was extraordinarily good. In 1966 he directed the innovative film where he played a title role of `evil pirate Barmaley` from Korney Chukovsky`s poems for children.
The film showed bad in the cinemas unlike another movie he played a decade later. I mean Leonid Nechayev`s `The Adventures of Burattino`, an adaptation of `The Golden Key, or the Adventures of Burattino` by Alexei Tolstoy which in its turn is an adaptation of `The Adventures of Pinocchio` (`Le avventure di Pinocchio. Storia d’un burattino`) by Carlo Collodi from Italy. Roland Bykov played a part of Cat Basilio (Basil) with a customary tablet `BLIND` on his chest while his wife, actress Yelena Sanayeva played the part of Vixen Alice.
A scene in the Three Gudgeons inn from the `The Adventures of Burattino` (1975). Roland Bykov – Cat Basilio. Yelena Sanayeva – Vixen Alice. Innkeeper – Baadour Tsuladze (Georgia). https://youtu.be/8HX8nOUHBFQ
Music by Alexei Rybnikov, Lyrics by Bulat Okudzhava THE SONG AND DANCE OF GREAT CAT BASILIO AND BEAUTIFUL VIXEN ALICE ABOUT SKINFLINTS, BRAGGARTS AND FOOLS
Lup toh boo dee doo boodai, lup toh boo dee doo boodai.
Lup toh boo dee doo boodai, lai lai lai lai la-la-la-la!
Lup toh boo dee doo boodai, lup toh boo dee doo boodai.
Lai lai lai lai! Mia-o-o-ow!
Lai lai la, lai lai la! Lai-lai-la-la la-la la-la!
While there live the braggarts in the world
We’ll have to bless our stars for all.
What a blue sky is up above!
We aren’t the ones who will hold up.
A braggart-hunt needs no knife,
Just wash a little bit his eyes
And he’ll be yours until he dies.
While there live the skinflints `bout us
We’ll hardly ever lose the chance.
What a blue sky is up above!
We aren’t the ones who will hold up.
A skinflint-hunt needs no knife,
Just show him a red cent, guys!
And he’ll be yours until he dies.
While there live the stupid people
We’ll have the liberty to swindle.
What a blue sky is up above!
We aren’t the ones who will hold up.
A ninny-hunt needs no knife,
Just tell the fool a pack of lies
And he’ll be yours until he dies. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
PLATONIC WOMANIZING? IT`S REALLY FUNNY!
Comedian Igor` Khristenko, poet Vladimir Vishnevsky and Roland Bykov telling the funny stories about women offstage until they are called `You`re on!` Khristenko: Hubby standing under the windows of the maternity hospital is crying to his wife. Mash, Mash (vocative from Masha, Maria. - AAO): Whom do we have got? A boy? Masha: Not a boy! Hubby: Then whom? Vishnevski: A pretty but stupid girl student passing the exam on the market economics in the business school can`t remember the name of Adam Smith. The instructor wants to help her and asks:`Who was the first man on our planet?` Girl Student (blushing): That of mine? Valerian!
Roland Bykov: We forgot to congratulate the women watching us on the TV sets now. My dear, my sincere congrats. And a short funny story from my unclaimed screenplay. A clown told a beautiful blonde a lot of words of love. She was deeply moved and even went outdoors to calm down. When she returned she heard him repeating the same words to the brunette.
Blonde: Do you love me? Clown: Of course. Blonde: Do you love her? Clown: I do! Blonde: Whom then do you tell lies? Me or her? The clown: None of you. Blonde: Do you love both of us? Clown: Not only both but all women. I love y`all. Blonde: How can you love all? Clown: How can I NOT love all? Ones of you are so tall-tall, the other are so small-small, there are also so plump-plump and slender-slender, some are so nice-nice and some are ugly-ugly. But I love all women, all! And my congrats addressed to all of them!
THE ANSWER OF THE 2010s
YOUTH IN SOOTH: Wedding. An only beauty!
Master of ceremonies: Four, three, two, one. Stop! Friends, let`s ask the bride if she`s satisfied? Can we go on with our celebration? Bride: Yes! Now I am an only beauty in here! Am I right? Really? All guys: Yes! Bride: No! There has left one more. Be kind as to wrap up her against her beauty too. Be quick! Quick!
PLAID, JUST PLAID
My favourite Russian Indy and Club group has been The Pled (Plaid) (`Плед)`) group (frontwoman Daria Davydova). They`re not blue but shocking! Positively! And beautiful!
The group mebers are (from left to right): Mikhail Al`bitsky (guitar), Dasha Davydova (bass guitar, vocal), Sergei Novikov (guitar), Konstantin Matveyev (on drums).
Tender tune, raw emotions, tough words! Striking contrasts! All in one bottle! Wow! At the same time their melodies are catchy & frolicsome, often parodying of disco or pop.
Pled - Hairy Buttocks (Red Curtains Session)
THE HAIRY BUTTOCKS
You confessed that your love had been blind.
Your heart was enticed with my hairy buttocks!
You bite them and it`s no fiction at all!
It is but my hairy buttocks!
Refrain
I like it, but still silly doubts creep in
If you love only me-e-e or my hairy buttocks?
Just my ha-a-a-i-ry buttocks!
Tell me, talk straight, without pulling my leg,
Do you love only me?
Or only your sweet, but my hairy buttocks?
You bought for me once all the going shorts,
But they were for shorties. I guessed that you wanted
To expose them to view and see them anew
Your sweet, but my hairy buttocks. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
You can see a mysterious abbreviation of the E&E on the T-shirts of the Pled members.
It`s but a title of their policy song. Caution! The Pled`s lyrics are sometimes cocky and shocking but true-to-life and highly artistic.
Pled - E&E (F&F) (Red Curtains Session)
F&F (E&E)
Make your player on and open your bottle.
The floating specks of dust. Your quiet home.
There`s no need to open up your heart.
`Cuz you can`t believe anyone!
Refrain
Just the time to make love, so do make your love.
But never open up your heart for anyone.
I fucked and I fuck, I fucked and I fuck
Without opening up my heart for anyone.
Open up your eyes blood red as dawn.
You had overdrunk the night before.
All had too much fun, there were all friends,
But feelings were of yours. Understand! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
THE AIDES-DE-CAMP OF LOVE
By Yelena Tolstaya (born Gremina as General Gremin from the `Eugeny Onegin`)
INTRODUCTION TO THE ADVENTURE HISTORICAL NOVEL THE AIDES-DE-CAMP OF LOVE
In the 1800s everything was not like now! Ladies` legs were little, their waists were thin, their curls were thick.
To fall in love gentlemen just needed a glimpse of a corner of a lady’s shoe from under the edge of her dress.
All men were brave spirits and heroes, all women were beauties and the whole world was ... new!
Men fought their duels because of love letters and handkerchiefs, to proclaim the break news couriers had been travelling for weeks.
The High Society balls were being opened by the Kings and Queens. Evenings were leisurely, dresses were long, fights were hand-to-hand, generals were great.
Konstantinovsky Palace, Strel`na, Peterhof. The reproduction of the Emperor`s ball in St. Petersburg of the period of the 1800-1812. 250 students, cadets, senior schoolchildren danced polkas, mazurkas and polonaise, played in the old salon and ball games. All girls wore dresses of the Empire style, had high coiffures, boys were dressed in uniforms or tailcoats. Music of the corresponding period were being performed by the orchestra of the 1st Frontier Troops Corps. of the Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation (Conductor Piotr Gerasimov).
Karina Razumovskaya on her heroine Olga Lopukhina: `My character is very sincere, she always tries to act in accordance with her conscience. Despite looking fragile and being young she`s a strong personality though not saved from a mental strife. I like it!`
Irina Nizina on her heroine Josephine de Beauharnais: She was very clever as a woman. I wish I were too. Josephine succeeded in promoting her husband, and many great things were being done by him for her. She married him when he was de facto nothing. She felt his God-given talent.
-Is there a character trait in Josephine`s personality that you could share?
-Extravagance! I love to make money but I love to waste it even more: to buy clothes, accessory, I adore bags and shoes.
AN EXPLANATION: A STRANGE DENOUEMENT Josephine de Beauharnais : You were dazzling in the masked ball. Who could know that Sibari would conceal such a treasure from us. Who made your dress, Caroline, n`est pas? Olga Lopukhina: What?
Josephine de Beauharnais: The dress you wore to the masquerade. Olga Lopukhina: This is Jacques` present, I mean Monsieur Sibari. Josephine de Beauharnais: Jacques?! An amazing thing! You’ve worked a miracle with that clodhopper and boor! If I were you I’d change decor here. It’s no class! Luxurious necklace! You’ve got a good taste. Olga Lopukhina: It’s just a gift. Josephine de Beauharnais : I know ... who presented it with you. Napoleon Bonaparte. My spouse. This is why I am here, after all.
Olga Lopukhina: You are Josephine Bonaparte, the spouse of ... Josephine de Beauharnais: I am. While you are just another mistress. Another beauty he’d favoured with his gracious glance. But you ... you won’t get anything from him. Even if he’s not against it I’d not let you get it. Olga Lopukhina: The Lifelong First Consul was here ... Olga Lopukhina: I don’t think he’ll come again. Josephine de Beauharnais : Why not? Did he find you not attractive? You’re so tender, romantic. Olga Lopukhina: I don’t need anything from your husband! Josephine de Beauharnais: Of course! He’ll have given you all himself. Who you? Why are you here? Olga Lopukhina: I have no idea! If I only knew! Josephine de Beauharnais: If you really do not need anything from my Napoleon, this is the worst thing. THE END
`Aides-de-Camp of Love`s Napoleon (Vitaliy Kovalenko) & Josephine de Beauharnais (Irina Nizina): Napoleon Bonaparte: Don`t hide your face from me!
Josephine de Beauharnais : After you have called the feminine beauty an article of trade ... Napoleon Bonaparte: But I haven`t meant YOUR beauty!
Josephine de Beauharnais : But it was Theresa who made us meet each other. Napoleon Bonaparte: Didn`t I ask you not ..
Josephine de Beauharnais : ... to mention her name. But why? Isn`t it the story of our love? An inception of our happiness ...
Napoleon Bonaparte: We must not, must we? But what if I want to forget it! It was your past that made you fall in the arms of that scoundrel. We shouldn`t forget this! We must not forget it!
I`d like to forget that you were at one with that libertine, that you kept company with that bastard, Barras, to forget the orgies you all arranged ... I named you Josephine so that I could make believe that Rose de Beauharnais, the bitch of the Directory no longer exists, but ... the bitch remained the bitch ...
Josephine de Beauharnais : You are jealous! Therefore you ARE still in love!
Napoleon Bonaparte: No, I am not. But I forgave you. Simply I no longer believe ... You seem never loved me.
Josephine de Beauharnais : You don`t believe me or you do not believe in love in general? Napoleon Bonaparte: Do not make me say such awful things! I want just one thing. To be calm. I must work.
Josephine de Beauharnais : Haven`t it been you who told me those awful things right now? THE END
Gone with the wind, so to say? It all depends because it`s still funny in a strange way and despite the birth of the new beautiful!
The No 1 of the Russian poetry of the 20 c., one of the greatest poets of the Russian literature comparable only with Alexandre Pushkin, singer of wooden Russia, Russian village and farmers Sergei Alexandrovich Yesenin departed this life on the 28th December.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
The Russian TV series `Sergei Yesenin`. Sergei Yesenin - Sergei Bezrukov (Russia), Isadora Duncan - Sean Young (USA)
(Moscow. The Famous Bohemian Nest in a house where Mikhail Bulgakov placed Woland`s flat in his novel `The Master and Margarita` later, in the 30s.) Voices: Gentleman, Ms. Duncan`s here! Mademoiselle ... Duncan: No! Comrade Duncan. Sergei Yesenin: Really here?! Van`ka keep it. Let`s go! Voice: It`s Bohemia! Duncan: Fine! Me too!
Voice: Ladies and gentlemen, Isadora Duncan! Duncan: To my high spirits! Yesenin: Who came with her? Her husband? His friend: Her interpreter! Yesenin: It`s great he`s just her interpreter! Interpreter: Comrades, I warn you to never ask her about her children! They died in the traffic accident! Duncan: Is it Yesenin?
Interpreter: Sergei Alexandrovich, if you please, just do not misbehave! Duncan: Zolotaya golova! (Golden Head). Angel! Bohemians: Serezha, come on! Don`t let us down! Well done! You dare-devil! Well done! Interpreter: Comrades! Ms. Duncan presents us the food ration she`d been given in the Kremlin! Help yourself, comrades! Duncan: What`s this? Is it a Russian instrument? GarmYshka? Yesenin: GarmOshka! (Russian accordeon. - AAO). There are many kinds of garmoshkas at my birthplace, in Ryazan. To sing to its accompaniment, solo or in chorus! Duncan: What? To drink? Yesenin: Nope! To sing! Not gonna drink any more! Gonna sing: A-a-a-a-a! Duncan: I`m a dancer! Yesenin: I know you`re a dancer. As to me I`m a poet! Duncan: Da-a-a! I know it! Tchiort! (A dare-devil!) THE END
Sergei Bezrukov incomparably reciting the Sergei Yesenin`s poem `I’m tired of my native land …`. Actor Bezrukov played the title role in the TV series `Sergei Yesenin`.
I’m tired of my native land,
I’m longing for the buckwheat open.
I’ll leave my cabin in the end,
I’ll go to be a thief and hobo!
I’ll follow the white curls of day
To look for my new humble shelter.
My bosom friend will keen the blade
For me and hide it in shoe leather.
A yellow road’s twined around
By spring and Sun above a meadow.
The one whose name is at my heart
Will banish me from her home’s threshold.
At the return where I belong
I’ll be consoled by a strange gladness.
At a green night, before my home,
I’ll hang myself with my sleeve’s tether.
The hoary willows near the fence
Will bend their heads a little more gently.
They’ll bury me when I go hence,
Unwashed, to dirge-like dogs` baying.
New moon will float o`er the lakes
While dropping ores on their surface.
And Russia will be likewise great,
Will dance and sob beside the hospice.
<1916> (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Source: Literary journal `Severniye zapiski`, St. Petersburg, #9, September 1916, p. 54: Sergei Yesenin `I’m tired of my native land …`.
Poem `Witch` by Sergey Yesenin to the music by Zara Levina is sung by Nina Isakova.
In the background: photos of Theda Bara (Theodosia Burr Goodman) (1885-1955). She was the Vamp of the silent era of cinema.
By Sergei Yesenin WITCH
Her plaits are disheveled; she’s fearful, pallid,
She trots up and down, frolicksome, daring.
Dark night is afraid of her secretly, tacitly
Moon’s hiding itself in the shawl of the clouds.
Wind-songster while howling as a prophetical fool
Is off in a trice to the thick and dark wood.
Grove is threatening with the pikes of its spruces,
Owls while fleeing are uneasily hooting.
Swinging her thin bony arms the witch’s nearing,
Stars o`er the oak-groves are in fear and blinking.
Snakes like the earrings hang down sinisterly.
She’s whirling with blizzard, so ghastly, so bitterly.
The witch is performing to the pinery`s tune.
The clouds are quailing and floating in gloom.
<1915> (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Andrei Guriev, a pupil of the 3rd class of the Classical School #4, 9 years old, Kursk City (Oct. 2015)
By Sergei Yesenin TO STATUE OF PUSHKIN
While dreaming of the mighty talent
Of one who shared Russia`s fate,
I`m standing in Tverskoy, on boulevard,
And I am talking with myself.
Blond-haired, nearly albescent,
You vanished in the fog of fame,
O Alexandre! O indecent!
Like me, a present hooligan.
But even blamable amusements
Did not cast slurs upon your fate.
You shake your proud head as usual,
Created in your glory`s brass.
It`s Eucharist I`m celebrating
While standing here and talking that
I`d be the happiest of all men
If only I`d had such a fate.
But doomed to trials, tribulations,
I`ll have been singing for some years,
So as my poetry`s vocation
Could never die and live in brass.
<1924> (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
LADY VIOLET: IT`S GOOD TO BE IN LOVE, WHATEVER AGE
Churchill to his wife Clementine: `Thus the world wages-good, bad and indifferent...and only my sweet Pussy cat remains a constant darling...`. In their letters, Clementine referred to herself as "Kat" or "Cat"; Winston was "Pug".
Churchill Wedding (1939). The second son of Winston Churchill Randolph marrying Pamela Digby
CHAPTER 3. CARPE DIEM, OR THE CARPING GIRL BY NEW ROUSSEAU
The Comedy Woman`s actresses Nadezhda Sysoeva (as a silly blonde Naden`ka), Tatiana Morozova (as an ordinary Russian woman), Maria Kravchenko (as a tough girl) and Daniel Velichkko (as himself)
SELFIE AS AN INTRODUCTION
Nadya: I seem not brown against this background. At all. Can you change the background somehow?
Have I been tanning in vain for a month? I’m looking pale against this background. Cameraman: The expected picture is you hold the carp in you hands.
ROMANCING THE CARP
Nadya: I am sort of ... splashing, splashing and getting it out of ... water. Hey-hey! Naked tits ... my nipples are in a full view ... Cameraman: Nadya! We`ll cover your nipples with hearts ... Nadya: The little pink ones? Cameraman: Nope! The blue ones. Nadya: Then brown could be better. Cameraman: Nad` (short, colloquial form of address, kinda vocative case), get the carp! Carpe diem! Nadya: No kidding? Cameraman: No kidding. With your hands!
Nadya(to the carp): You poor thing! Cameraman: Nadya, mind the foam is death-defying for the carp!
Nadya: Eff me if the poor creature isn’t dying! Why not really? It’s in foam in here! Or it’s doing a poo! Cameraman: Nadya! Nadya! Time! Let’s start! Nadya(to the carp): Hold on, little Valerian! It won’t last too long! Oi! Oi! Valerian! Save Valerian! Support Valerian with your Likes! Pals! Someone, help! ...Valerian, hold on! Crawl to me! Do it! Stretch your fin to me! Valerian! Save Valerian, eff me! A.S.A.P!
PRINCE CHARMING
Nadya: This is show business, you little fish! Cameraman: Kiss it! Nadya: No-ope! O my god! No kidding?! Cameraman: Abso-bloody-lutely! Kiss it! Kiss the carp! Look here, Nad`! It’s your Prince Charming, like in a fairy tale! As soon as you kiss it, it gonna turn out the Prince aboard his ocean yacht! Nadya: I can’t kiss it! I won’t!
Maria (Nadya`s colleague): You’ll have to! Ha-ha! Nadya: Patience, Valerian! Soon all’s to be over! Cameraman: Hold yourself erect!
NO HARASSING!
Nadya: Oi, Valerian! You poor thing! Hold on to your life with your little fins! Folks, do support it with your Likes! Poor thing! Be patient! This is show biz! Cameraman: Kiss it as an adult one, use your tongue! Nadya: Nope! It doesn’t want to! It doesn’t need it to feel fine! It doesn’t like me! Uhu! I’m telling it: `Let’s kiss each other!` You see? The answer is Tut-tut! Oh, no, if he doesn’t want to, I refuse to kiss it against its will! If he doesn’t want why should I force it? Let’s better proceed to the bedroom scene at once, what if that scene goes smoother, eh? The current scene looks like coming out! I mean fish.
A RECIPROCAL SACRIFICE
Cameraman: Add more foam to Nadya`s breasts. Then we’ll move to the bedroom scene! Nadya: With Valerian too? Cameraman: Too! With Valerian! Nadya: Dear Valerian, just stand firm a little. Cameraman: Be as much sexy as possible! Nadya: It’s not so simple with fish! Cameraman: Nadya, it’ll be his last kiss! So do all properly, it’ll be the last thing it’ll see in its life! Nadya: Will he really turn out to be the Prince? Cameraman: Yes! Nadya: After its death? (to the carp): I’m doing it for your sake! Cameraman: As I’ve said, with your tongue, as an adult girl! Nadya: Are you kidding? It’s almost dead!
AN UNPARDONABLE INTRUSION
Tanya(another colleague): Nad`, get out quick, I must wash my tights! Get out, I say, stop sprawling! And don’t forget your fish!
Nadya: It’s Valerian!
Tanya: Nad`, I tell you in plain language, get out! Dumb, you’re driving me crazy! Nadya: Ai! Tanya: I have to rinse my tights, my effing number’s next! Do go away! Just look at her!
A LA RECHERCHE DU CARP PERDU
Nadya: Tanya, haven’t you seen Valerian? Tanya: What Valerian?! Nadya: But Valerian! Tanya: No!
Nadya: A-a-a-a! This is Valerian! What are you doing? Valerian! My Prince Charming! I was waiting the moment he’ll be uncharmed! What have you done! Valerian! Tanya: Stop screaming! Better help yourself to my cake! Take it and go away!
Nadya: But Valerian!
Tanya: Do not stop! Go away! THE END
Excellent satire! Diderot! Voltaire! Beaumarchais! The Age of the Enlightenment!
Iggy Pop & Goran Bregovic - Arizona Dream (The Fish knows Everything)
COMMENTS
Tanya’s handed to Nadya a cake suspiciously reminding of a male’s penis. It’s a visual metaphor of an unprintable Russian expression. What the word expression? Fuck off! (Literally, `go to the penis!` = Off with you! Get lost!)
DANIEL VELICHKO: PHOTOS ARE THE THEATRE FOR ME, MODELS ARE THE ACTORS IN THE ONE-PERSON, ONE-DIRECTOR PLAYS
Cameraman of the photo session of the girls, members of the Comedy Woman, was Daniel Velichko
Items of a Velichko`s tea set (he performs in the role of a designer too).
CHAPTER 4. THE IRREGULAR EMPRESS
The next Comedy Club’s Photo Session video The Irregular Empress requires the previous comments to get it right! Actress Marina Fedunkiv is playing a part of Catherine I as she was being represented in the pop culture in Russia in the 90s of the 20 c. Partly, it’s a parody of a tawdry & tasteless (in the professional critics` judgments) music video of the 90s of a pop singer Irina Allegrova.
Music video’s title is `Change hands, you crazy Russian Empress`. Sung by a leading pop singer Irina Allegrova
Besides, Marina Fedunkiv mockingly citates lines from Alegrova`s another pop song `Hello, Andrei!`
What lines? `Hello. Andrei! Hello, Andrei! Where have you been? Please hug me right away!` The refrain which keeps repeating in the song. Besides Marina Fedunkiv plays a not very disciplined but unchallengeable diva, an idol of the newly-rich who is an easy lay and fond of bottle. The character she`s playing, or the character being played by the character she`s playing causes much trouble to the crew in the studio. Thirdly, she plays Catherine I mostly as a female variant of Grigory Rasputin.
Marina Fedunkiv is an only member of the Comedy Woman who graduated from the Drama School. The other actors are engineers, managers, lawyers etc. by their education. They came from the amateur theatricals of the Universities and after participation in the TV stand-up comedy contests for the youth. Marina Fedunkiv is from Perm City in the Urals. She also learned drama there.
She struggled through her participation in the TV contest of the `Club of the jolly ready-witted` like all other members of the Comedy Woman. The TV contest `Club of the jolly ready-witted` has been serving as a jumping-off place for many gifted non-professional actors in Russia. Some of them even managed to become the cinema stars, but mostly they are comedians. They are the actors by vocation. Parents often make their children get the `serious`, `reliable` professions. Theatre and cinema are risky spheres. For example, Alexandre Goodkov is a co-owner and manager of the profitable trendy Moscow barber shops for men only. He’s secured his rear. The cinema & theatrical environment in Russia is rather closed stratum for the non-professionals, besides competition in the Russian show biz is quite fierce as everywhere in the world.
The Irregular Empress (Marina Fedunkiv, The Comedy Woman)
SCENE 1. THE FAVOURITES Cameraman: Quiet please! Marina, where are your favorites? Marina: No idea! I’m not in charge for the extras! There’s a woman who brings them. You’d better ask her! Cameraman: Then I have to go and see myself. Kostya (from Konstantin), Zhenya, where are you? Kostya! Zhenya! Marina! What’s it all about?
Marina: What? Shit! You shouldn’t have hired no matter who placing your classified ads. Not my idea of pleasure!
SCENE 2 THE DRESS Marina (about the extra player): He can’t even satisfy the dog! Oh!
Cameraman: Marin (vocative of `Marina` in the colloquial speech), where did you get your dress? Marina: I borrowed it from a late travesty from the Children’s Theatre. God rest in her soul! Cameraman: Borrowed right from her coffin, eh? Marina: Well, I like that! It would be a bit of a nuisance groping for it in the cemetery!
SCENE 3. THE CONTRACT Cameraman: Marina! Have you already signed a contract for the new season? Marina: Not yet! How could I do it in haste? All through the season, after all.
Cameraman: Marina, what have you got in the orb? Marina: Bronchitis remedy! I have a cough, don’t you hear? Cameraman: Have a snack after it at the least!
Marina(licking lollipop sceptre): I’ve got my Chupik (i.e. Chupa Chups. - AAO) to lick it! (singing until belching) `Change hands, you crazy belching Emp-ch-ress!` Let’s sign that fucking contract right now! (to the extras playing her favourites) Fel-l-l-as! The doggy must be flea-infested, have you had the dog checked or not? Its bum may itch! (giggling) Worms are likely to be available inside of it too! I’m all beat up! Cameraman: Footage hasn’t been over yet! Wake up! Marina: Hop! Halt! I seem to have been behind the scene for a while.
SCENE 4 THE DEPILATION Cameraman: Marina, is it all right now?! Marina: Where? In the country? Cameraman: Of course, on the whole. Yes! Marina: In general, O.K.! (to someone from the crew) Take pictures, you beard, take pictures! The girl assistant`s explanatory, understanding voice in the background: `She needs it (i.e. to lift her elbow) to get relaxed`.
Marina: I feel I need anesthesia. UH! OH! OOH! AH! The cameraman`s angry, irritated voice in the background addressed to someone from the crew: `Raise the generator!` Marina: UH! OOH! Are you tearing my hair off right with my bone or what? OH! AH! Cameraman: Marina! Strictly speaking, you should have been ready for shooting beforehand, at home! Marina: UH! Did I know I would have to play the Empress? Besides, the house I live in is temporararily out of hot water!
SCENE 5. THE TWERK Marina(to extras dancing minuet): Boys, it’s but trash! Better perform the Court twerk!
Tra-lala-la-la! `Hello, Andrei! Where have you been? Please hug me right away!`
SCENE 6. AN ACTRESS LIKE THAT IS A GODSEND Marina`s regulating the pitch of a tone of the males with the help of squeezing their balls & pulling by their penises.
Cameraman (deeply satisfied after the photo session): Well done! It was really great! THE END
COMMENTS
The last scene is a parody of a movie about castrated operatic singer Farinelli (18 c.)
Opera Idaspe (1730) by Riccardo Broschi in the film `Farinelli, il castrato`, 1994
Pavel Pushkin, 38, an ex-obstetrician-gynecologist from Vladivostok, the Russian Far East, is called Russian Farinelli.
Pavel Pushkin dressed as Farinelli in the feature film
He won the TV contest `The Voice` in Russia. Fortunately, unlike Farinelli, he’s got balls (both literally and figuratively). He made his début with `Ave, Maria!`.
Ave, Maria being performed by Pavel Pushkin, Eastern Russia, Vladivostok. Divine Voice!
SEE MORE GLASS!
Agniya (ἁγνὴ) Lvovna Barteaux (born Ethel Leibovna Volova (1906-1981)) was an outstanding Russian children`s author, satirist, excellent screenwriter, influential anchorwoman. She was born in a Jewish family before the Russian revolution.
After leaving the classical and ballet schools she performed as a ballerina, wrote poems which were made a special mention by minister of culture Anatoly Lunacharsky, then married an ornithologist and children`s poet Pavel Barteaux and dedicated all her life to the Russian literature. What can be said about her classical poems and creative manner? She thought clearly and she wrote clearly. During the WW2 she worked as a turner in the Urals and was a military reporter on the frontline. She lost her 18 year old son after the war who was damaged by a lorry when he was riding his bycicle. She had been leading the program on the radio `Mayak` (lit. `Lighthouse`) for many years. The program helped to re-unite the families whose children were lost during the war (after Luftwaffe`s train bombings, in particular).
She was married to a Russian scientist Andrei Shchegliyaev for the second time and had a daughter.
She was buried in the élite cemetery of the Novodevichiy Monastery that speaks a lot about her achievements and services to her country.
Agniya Barteaux The broken Glass (Агния Барто. Однажды Я Разбил Стекло)
By Agniya Barteaux (Russia) THE BROKEN GLASS
It was tough luck on me. By chance,
The first time in my life I broke the glass.
It shone and glowed in the sun,
It sparkled!
Although I did it not for fun,
I got it!
Since then,
Since time I`ve done it
As soon as I `ve been in my yard,
They are used to cry after:
`Again to break the glass?`
Then laughter!
Since then much water`s flowed away
Since time I`d broken the glass, okay?
I need only to heave a sigh
As someone asks me: ` Tell me why?
Sigh for the glass you`ve broken?
Be, darling, outspoken!`
It is tough luck on me. By chance,
When I played ball and broke the glass.
I met a nice girl on my way.
(She`s very absent-minded.
She lives next door, so to say,
But she seems supermundane!)
I was about to talk with her.
But having smoothed her hair
She couldn`t resist folie à deux.
And had the glassy stare.
It is tough luck on me, alas!
I`m persecuted by the glass.
When I am ninety * years old
My offsprings will be near the bone.
They`ll ask me,
If it`s true that people told
That I`d picked up the cobble-stones
And thrown them at every glass?
I won`t respond, it`s no class! (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
* in the original is 200 years old.
I don`t know why but the above poem made me remember the Chadre (Shadr)`s sculpture `Cobblestone Is the Weapon of the Proletariat`, bronze, 1927,
and Stevie Wonder`s song `Village Getto Land` (its lines: `Broken glass is every where,//It`s a bloody scene!`)
Stevie Wonder - Village Ghetto Land (1976) Genius!!!
THE FRIVOLOUS CAKE, OR HOW YOUR PRIVATE DIARY ON TWITTER SUDDENLY BECOMES A NOVEL FOR ALL EVEN IF THE USER IS HIDDEN FROM PUBLIC VIEW
I’d been infatuated with Twitter for four months before I felt sick and tired and returned to the more usual form of the posts in the blog which I also use not for communication with people but for creative, artistic purposes only. If I’d had enough cash to cover the running costs I would have preferred to have got my own web site. What did I like on Twitter? Strictly speaking, I liked just one author nicknamed The Frivolous Cake (Беспутная Плюшка) (The Frivolous Cake is a title of a poem by a British author Mervyn Peake see the text of the poem on http://www.distantocean.com/2008/08/poetry-corner-the-frivolous-cake.html). Her account was being led in Russian despite she was a German girl, German student from West Germany, that part of the country that borders on France.
On the face of it, she had a trivial girls` diary, daily routine, nothing special. But … catchy, extraordinarily catchy … you want to read her more and more and more because the girl is a natural born writer and you can’t help feeling you read the novel in letters. Germany, Goethe’s `The Sorrows of Young Werther` or maybe princess Marie "Missie" Vassiltchikov`s Berlin Diaries, 1940-1945.
The girl although she writes in irreproachable, living up-to-day Russian is a German, her love of Germany, her native country, is of no doubt, it’s obvious. We live in a strange world. Japanese girls write novels in German, German girls write diaries in Russian, etc. Wow!
While reading the Frivolous Cake`s diary which was that time open, so everyone could have an open access to it, I started quoting some extracts from it in English as if it had been the lines from a diary of a beautiful Anglo-Japanese girl Lily. Of course, I had not right to this. But I couldn’t help it. I was charmed by the gift of the German author writing in Russian. I remembered Robert Schumann’s `A Woman's Love and Life` and the medieval Japanese classical novels-diaries written by ladies (Sei Shōnagon (清少納言) to begin with). Stylization and mystification were present on my part, yet in all cases when it concerned the Frivolous Cake there were `piracy` and `plagiarism` for my part too.
Who on Earth could believe she would ever discover my piratic literary adventure on Twitter? Yet, one day, she did it by chance or after being informed, knew it from her followers, and closed her diary from the unauthorized readers. She could not believe or know due to her young years that one’s private diary on Twitter or elsewhere in cyber space automatically turned out to be a novel for all when the literary talent is present even if this user is hidden from the public view. Though my forced farewell to the Frivolous Cake was sad, very sad only due to the extraordinarily strong feeling of stuckness, I’m grateful to her for days of an esthetic pleasure. Yet I can`t help forgetting her warning that I didn`t initially heed: `Happy are those with whom I am not familiar!` Not only that I couldn’t tear himself away from the diary, I felt being in love with the author or maybe was literally a literary love-addict, that’s how the above caution of hers should have been understood from the very beginning. In truth, alas and ah!, Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate!, or, if to put it exacter, paraphrasing, voi ch`uschite.
Now some excerpts, remains NOT in chronological order from that diary, lady’s diary in the English translation of mine:
•it’s amazing how people can be different, while some don’t hear you, others can even hear your thoughts.
•yesterday I experienced an unfamiliar feeling of Heimweh (nostalgia) and even thought how Europe would do without my attending love.
•in Aachen an old jerk bothered me. First he wondered if I’d been Jewish then offered having sex for money.
By Heinrich Heine Deutschland, ein Wintermärchen, Caput III:
Zu Aachen, im alten Dome, liegt Carolus Magnus begraben.
(Man muß ihn nicht verwechseln mit Karl
Mayer, der lebt in Schwaben.)
In Aachen, in the old cathedral
There lies Charles the Great in his chamber.
(You shouldn’t mix him with a Charles
Meyer who’s been living in Swabia).
(Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
•past my home there went a schoolboy whistling a tune from the Peer Gynt. Now all the local thrushes reproduce this melody to the extent they’d managed to remember it.
Fritz Lang's M - Hall of the Mountain King Whistling (Grieg)
•the tender magpie came flying again. It zealously learns to tweet like a thrush.
•I told the dude resembling Hugh Lorie about this `medical` fact. But he pretended not to know who the latter one was.
•did Breugel ignore the perspective drawing on purpose or just messed it up? We’d been arguing about the design of the gallows for a long time.
•I saw a Pferdchen (a little horse) behind the low fence and a man whose cranium was too small for him.
•only a not industrious one if there’d been hadn’t looked into my décolleté. Meanwhile, there was nothing inside!
•I went to buy a cover and returned home with a handful of the pearl buttons! I meant a toilet seat cover, WC lid.
•and suddenly they met each other; he who had got the volume by Montaigne in his hands and she who had got the one of Dostoyevsky under her arm!
•I’d been curious for the whole term whether one lady was fat or pregnant. Either of the variants was correct!
•my best friend in Germany is an old lady.
•I met a shaven old Nazi. His shoelaces were gold, black & red like the German flag. He eagerly performed some of his racist country songs.
`Springtime for Hitler` (from `The Producers` (1969). A brilliant comedy, to watch it is a must for all cause it`s really funny and not a waste of time. https://youtu.be/YlQfW9oK1G4
•once I got lost and had to stand for a while in the midst of a flock of geese.
•his hair is being showed from his hat, and he is a replica of Cupid now.
•I am going by tram with a dog that can’t stand my gaze and is complaining of me to its owner.
•today we were shown an ancient stele depicting a lion & deer kissing each other.
•now I am sitting at seminar. I frightfully feel like propping my legs on the desk.
•I have been romancing for a while; I have been allowing men to hold their umbrellas over my head.
•a guard in the Turkey Consulate was fond of my new black lipstick.
I’ve even tried on men’s the multi pocket trousers for excavations in Turkey but they’re too big! I wish they were fit for girls. (department store, a girl shop assistant)
-Too wide? Right?
-Those men have got such thick legs.
-My boyfriend’s leg is as thick as my waist’s.
-So is the leg of mine if not more!
•a man with a tattoo of himself as a saint brought me to the beach and back home, washed the dishes, packed my suitcase and drove me to airport.
•lonely men fall in love with no matter who.
•wearing the carmine overall & miner’s lamp on my helmet I’m being followed by 3 more archeologists and 4 workers (I’m fatal Snowhite!)
Polish parable movie `Kingsajz`, 1988 (in the Russian translation) about adventures of the modern dwarfs in our big (Kingsize!) world. Dwarf (to Bunny): Good morning! Alya, wake up, it`s time to feed your daddy. Alya, hey! (shouting) Alya, time to go to work. (whispering) Alya, time to go to work. Alya: It`s high time to assume measures to make you full-size again.
In the background there`s kinda `Song of the Songs`( https://youtu.be/O2Vek8zbHa0 sung by Anna Jurksztowicz (in Andrew Alexandre Owie (aka Al Byron-Omnipotentassis)`s translation):
•the other day three different men kneeled to put shoes on my feet and then took it off as if I couldn’t do it myself!
•as sure as a guy falls in love with me I’m at sea, I wring my hands, I feel upset about how he managed to get into it, how to help him get out!
•another asshole certain about my ballet background chased after me. He found I’d been gracefully dragging my bag.
•my old friend terribly tries to look younger. So I have to mind he doesn’t stumble, trip, crash, lose his wig.
•not a single cat had been in my lap for a half of a year.
•I am observing the way `the very way of your thinking is being changed being squeezed into the strict limits of the unknown language`
(at the same time I am concerned with the problem of getting a garter which could safely hold everything (telephone, knife, was auch immer (and what all)) while not holding the blood circulation in my leg).
•in a station between Dortmundt and Bochum the fragments of the glass were very nicely glued up with the Scotch tape.
•while everybody was guessing how they wore the bracelet in the Bronze Age as there was no room for anybody in it, I easily squeezed into the latter and showed HOW to do it.
•I am awfully nervous because of two essays for the next week as `my horse lolled not about it` (In the original: `у меня конь не валялся`, i.e. a Russian expressive colloquial idiom used when someone hasn’t done anything yet). Not that it matters, I mean horses, but today’s seminar on the Greek painting was dedicated to the discussion of a play of light on the crupper of the horse of The Alexander Mosaic’s foreground.
•It’s a high time to go anywhere and view views.
•I am still feeling an impostor at a conference.
•today one pigeon was catching up with the train by which I was going while the other one was at its ease on the windowsill.
THE FABULOUS 60s: LET`S TWIST AGAIN
Caucasus, Russia DANCING SCHOOL Fee - 1 ruble Dancing master: This is not a traditional dance! Twist! Gonna show you all anew! Press the butt with your right toe. Hop, hop, hop! The second butt please! It should be pressed with your left toe! Now press both butts simultaneously! Hop, hop, hop!
CLASSICAL DANCE
A Hollywood star: `They bought me a book on the art of dancing. What’s its title? `Oliver Twist`.
The Twist - Chubby Checker
LILY. THE JOYS AND THE SORROWS OF A BEAUTY. PHOTO MANGA WITH AN INCLUSION OF THE VIDEOS AND SONGS.
The part of Lily, a funny girl from Tokyo who can cheer up anybody around at mere sight of her is played by my fave Japanese actress of British descent Becky (Rebecca Eri Ray Vaughan レベッカ・英里・レイボーン). Oh my! She seems never to repeat herself! Always new and unpredictable! Wow!
British scientists discovered we saw ourselves 5 times more beautiful than we are! Well, how do I look in your eyes?
Lily only belongs where she’ll be happy!
How to be a woman? Love him madly, yet hate him despite all!
You either appear and never vanish or vanish and never appear! That’s what they say to me!
To be a girl means to muse on the world-wide problem if to wash your hair right now or tomorrow!
My fave singer Claude Francois, France, the 60-70s - Ce soir je vais boire (I gonna drink tonight!)
To be a girl means to make up your face just to go and wash your hair afterwards
I wish I had a magic tablecloth, self-propelled dustbin, remote controlled vacuum cleaner and a daily-self-renewing wardrobe!
I feel love wherever I go!
It is so ladylike ... to sleep till night!
There’s another reason
Which hurts you as a knife.
Why do you need a sweetheart
Who only makes you cry? (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
A Lottery Ticket Sung by Ms. Raïssa Saed-Shakh, a Russian pop diva of the Nepalese descent (in the 80s). Now she is as well the prestigious Moscow Gnessin State Musical College`s professor
Lyrics Yuri Levitansky
Music Raïssa Saed-Shah A LOTTERY TICKET
If you are unfortunate, dear,
And this is unchangeable thing,
You should buy a lottery ticket
Which costs just a penny, no more!
It costs just a penny,
It costs just a penny,
I cost just a penny, no more!
A cure for no-win is your hope,
Remember the number, because
You may win your happiness, almost,
All just for a penny, no more!
All just for a penny,
All just for a penny,
All just for a penny, no more!
Now that you’re as always unlucky,
You are still a loser, so what?
What you’d spent was simply fantastic!
You paid just a penny, no more!
You paid just a penny,
You paid just a penny,
You paid just a penny, no more!
You’ve got snowstorms outside, and
You’ve got not a thing at your home?
So what did you want, eh?
So what did you want, eh?
What can buy a penny alone?
What can buy a penny?
What can buy a penny?
What can buy a penny alone? (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
I went shopping, and they said any card would do to pay, so I took out the ace of diamonds out of my purse!
Sad girl, bitten lips!
THE LEGAL LIMIT OF BEING PRETTY
-Is it legal to be such improbably good-looking?
-Stop it, mom! It is perfectly legal!
Claude François - Il fait beau, il fait bon So nice, so good! Literally it could be understood as `He’s handsome and good!`. So Lily-Becky is also beautiful and good!
From Lily’s Diary: I consulted a headshrinker. He said I was absolutely sane. So I only pretend to be a jolly fool!
If you like what I like I’m happy!
O Lord! How hard is to be a girl! I’ve made up my mind to change my shoes and had even to change my panties too!
Stop playing the comedy of errors! You poor Yorick! Or you no longer want to see Lily growing in your valley? Honto? (Really? - in Japanese).
Stormy night! And me, so sexy and irresistible! As if I gonna dream of the reiterating inimacy with the inimitable men!
Sorry my being an inexhaustible source of your inimitable tweets! But I can`t choose a movie to watch now!
Why is it so? To find me is difficult, to lose me is easy?
How to be a woman: to think over something in your head and start crying
Claude Francois - `Hip hip hurrah!`
Due to an ancient stupid girl who wanted to work and wear trousers I have to get up at 6 a.m. and go to the hateful work!
Go but be back one way or another! I hope this summer will change all for the better!
The whole world is a toy for Lily!
I am beautiful and everybody loves me!
GIOCA`S JOKE-KUS
Pen names of the Russian authors are Natalie Vedeneyeva, Olga, Sylvie Zhdanova, Nickoletta, Natalie Kolosoff, Xenia Livanova, Viktoria, Daniela, etc. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
A desperate loser
Spilled beer onto his trousers
In the Wild West.
After the drug therapy
An effing weather briefer
Handles an outstanding problem.
`The girl from Easter Island` (Raïssa Saed-Shakh`s opening a Russian TV talk show dedicated to city folkloric songs)
City folklore, hood ditties THE GIRL FROM EASTER ISLAND
The dude of the girl of Easter Island
Was kidnapped by tigers from jungle.
They got him at dawn,
He wore colonel’s uniform.
They ate up him under bananas.
Since then there’d passed sharp three years.
The hot chick gave birth to her baby.
They caught her new love,
Half husband half dove.
They ate up him under bananas.
The girl whose home was Easter Island
Gave birth to the brown-skinned baby.
They caught him as well,
Not yet dressed very well.
They ate up him under bananas.
Bananas turned gold long ago.
Their leaves all fell off in a row.
On Fridays as yet, at sunset, not late,
They chew someone under bananas. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Having done a lot of work
A pirate of the Southern Seas
Hides in an iron tank.
Aboard the cruise ferry
This strange creature will sing lively
And emotionally, up a storm!
A sunburnt Afro-American
Inspired by the examples mined from the books
Filliped on the nose of a native American.
A familiar dude from the confectionery
Kissed entered Nastassya,
Quite unwelcome and out of place!
A stout figure skater became cheeky
Much beyond his years
In a dirty shed.
After taking the pills
A call girl
Starts reading an interesting book.
After being no longer of school age
A wild boar from the thick woods
Is a key figure at the juicy pussy scandal.
Blinking her headlights playfully
A very nice and refined woman
Composes the electronic music.
Little Vovo, the shaggy schoolboy,
Cooked some robust coffee
After feeling danger.
After singing a lot in the karaoke bar
A milksoppy first former girl
Is about to hold the baby in her hands.
Being tired of her incessant solitude
Sweet Sasha
Plans to start the broadcasting.
After another night orgy
The provider of delicacies
Felt fascinated by the luxurious chandelier.
After an intensive training course
Kind old lady Xena
Is going to initiate a new trend.
Breaking all traditions
Puss in Boots
Collects the material for his book.
Hiding no facts
The sheikh’s concubine
Investigates the criminal case.
After an intensive shoot-out
The irksome lady lecturer
Will choose the right place for the utensils.
Mona Lisa Magician, MarXwoman, Mario Sister: `Life is really a game, where the player must appear ridiculous`. Thus spake Lady Violet. “Curiouser and curiouser!” Cried` Lisa `(she was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English).`
LADY VIOLET: YOU HAVE TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR FEELINGS BEFORE THEY TAKE CONTROL OF YOU
CHAPTER TWO. THE SOUND AND THE FURY OF AN AMAZON WOMAN CON GATTOPARDO
Acting Pauline Sibagatullina, Alexandre Goodkov (Comedy Club Production/Comedy Woman)
SCENE 1 Pauline Sibagatullina (wheezing): Thank you! This is very beautiful. Cameraman: Pals! Pauline says: `Very beautiful!`. But we’ll have to add a pair of rings. Pauline: Call... Cameraman: Pauline’s feeling colics. Fetch No-Spa and some water she could wash it down! (to Pauline) What `I`, what `I`... Who made her drunk? Pauline: No, I can ... hardly ... breathe ... Ve-ry … Cameraman: That’s fine. Fine. Let her recover her breath, then add two rings.
SCENE 2 Pauline (singing Mikhail Svetlov`s iconic, classical poem `Granada`):
The ditty was sung by the guy off and on.
Where had that young fella got grief for Spain from?
Tell me Alexandrov! Now Kharkov, tell me!
How long have you started singing Spanish indeed?
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
I left my sweet home and joined the battle
So that in Granada farmers got their land. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
SCENE 3 Pauline: Guys, I agreed to this photo session just because they promised me the pickup with leopard! Where’s the cat? Cameraman: Leopard is in a traffic jam. They’ll soon be here. Any moment! Pauline: Is it vaccinated? Cameraman: Of course, vaccinated. He ... sorry that cat is right from Red Book, its pedigree is beyond any doubt.
Pauline: Where’s the leopard? Alexandre Goodkov: I’m here! It’s me who’s leopard (roaring). Pauline: Sasha! Alexandre Goodkov: Can you play up to me? Pauline: I can... Alexandre Goodkov: Kill me! Go! Pauline (with her monkey up): St-i-i-i-ng! Pric-i-i-ck! Alexandre Goodkov: Stop stabbing me! What are you doing? Are you insane? You’ve cut me a bit! Pauline (to the Cameraman): I don’t agree to this. He’s not vaccinated. I know it exactly. What’s it all effing about? Cameraman: There’s slump in the national economy. So he’s the only leopard we’ve got here. Pauline: I don’t give a damn about what kind of leopard you’ve got here. I want to have it vaccinated right now, so be so kind! Right now. I’m serious. I had the chicken pox once.
SCENE 4 Pauline (hallooing): Oo-oo-o-oo-oo-ah! Alexandre Goodkov (in a constrained voice): Foot... your foot ... pressed my face .. you bitch! Pauline (full of rage and fury): Ye-a-h! THE END (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
MIKHAIL SVETLOV`S GRANADA AND OTHER POEMS
While suffering from semi-suffocation in her quasi-Oriental dress Pauline’s character is reciting Mikhail Svetlov`s poem `Granada` (`Гренада`). Like a poetess Pauline Sibagatullina can’t help being charmed by the sonorous rhymes of the classical Russian poet of the 20 c. The formal side of his poetry is perfect. Besides Svetlov`s poetry includes a lot of risky, but kind epigrams and jests often addressed to the very author, and this manner is a distinctive feature of Sibagatullina`s poetry too.
НА СОВЕТСКОГО ЧИТАТЕЛЯ К литературе тяготея,//По магазинам бегал я,//Купил себе Хемингуэя,//Не понял ни хемингуя.
ON A SOVIET READER
Being a poindexter, on my way
I prowled round books one day!
I bought selected Hemingway!
But understood no heming way! (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
American writer Ernest Hemingway (Old Hem as they used to call him then) was an idol of the educated youth in Russia in the 60s; William Faulkner played the same part in the 70s.
PLUMvsAPRICOT. Rumble in a Moscow flat, where indifferent men witness aggressive women. Painting by Waldemar Kazak
We can see two cultural icons of the Soviet past on the wall of an ordinary Moscow flat, portraits of poet Vladimir Vysocky (Russia) and Ernest Hemingway (USA), symbols of the 60-70s of the 20 c. The fishwife morals and manners, however, are taken from the 90s. This is a deliberate pictorial anachronism. Besides Vladimir Vysocky has got an unusually angry face that only stresses the discrepancy of time and action in the interior, seeds of evil that implicitly presented in Russia of the past sprouted up in the future. The mores of one epoch were being unfolded in the settings of the other. As I mentioned earlier the pictorial anachronism’s a favourite trope often used by the Russian artist Waldemar Kazak.
Сергею Михалкову. В нем вечно жив неукротимый дух.//Он как Самсон силен, как Аполлон прекрасен.//Проверить надо: может быть, сей слух-//Одна из михалковских басен?!
To Sergei Mikhalkov*
He’s got an indomitable spirit.
He’s strong as Samson,
He’s handsome as Apollo.
Yet trust but verify! What if this image
Is but a hero of his own folios? (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
*Sergei Mikhalkov was not only a children’s writer and fabulist but also the co-author of lyrics of the National Anthem of the USSR and author (together with his son Nikita Mikhalkov) of those of the Russian Federation.
Pauline Sibagatullina
As a poetess Pauline Sibagatullina also likes to write epigrams, one of which reads:
Я совершенно перестала огорчаться,//Ну хоть убейте, хоть ударьте в нос!//Все равно я буду улыбаться,//Чтоб этот сраный день мне не принес!
Since recently I’ve ceased being sad,
Do what you want or even conk me!
I’ll be the fucking what-a-dame
Whatever I have got in prospect. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
MIKHAIL SVETLOV, OR THE SHORT HAPPY LIFE OF GAVROCHES AMOROUS OF REVOLOUTIONS, POETRY AND WOMEN
The poem recited by Pauline Sibagatullina is an iconic `Granada` written by Mikhail Arkadievich Svetlov (Scheinkmann) in 1926. Born in 1903 Mikhail Svetlov was one of the Gavroches of the Russian revolution of 1917 and being still a teenager actively participated in the Civil War on the side of the Red Army. Later he became one of the famous Soviet Russian poets who wrote several iconic poetic texts and lyrics of extremely high artistic value. Being slightly opposed to the real practice of the building of the Soviet state which was being criticized by him, though rather lazily, quite tolerantly, as, in his opinion, not exactly corresponding to the communist ideals of his rather piratical youth he, nevertheless, was never ever repressed by Joseph Stalin who permanently struck him off the proscription lists. (By that time the hereditary monarchy made way to the Caesar’s power, and the Russian Empire transformed into the Eastern Roman Empire as its political ideal).
The secret police insisted on Svetlov`s arrest and gathered tons of his statements really discrediting the poet, but Caesar was invariably deaf and mute. Firstly, he liked his poetry; he shared at his heart the revolutionary piratical romanticism of the poet. Secondly, he liked the poet had been fond of bottle. Thirdly, the witty poet created not only the brilliant texts answering Stalin’s literary taste and world-view but also formulated some classical slogans of the Soviet propaganda. Those slogans like `The goodness must be with fists`, `Being peaceful as people we store trains of armour//On sidetrack in full fighting trim` (lines from the Song of Kakhovka (1935)), `I am shooting, there’s no more justice than the justice of bullet of mine!` (1942) were pectoral words, poet never was ordered to write this or that, he really and whole-heartedly loved and defended the achievements of the great social technocratic revolution which transformed him, a no-win gavroche into a prominent intellectual and artiste and opened all ways for him. Every true revolution is a radical change of the ruling elite and a social elevator in good order designated for promoting in high places the best youngsters who would have remained nobody under the previous rule. Nous ne sommes rien, soyons tout! (We are nothing, let us be all) (L'Internationale by Eugène Edine Pottier).
Being sincere, freely expressing himself Svetlov was never stupid and dull as many Soviet propaganda people for whom inventing the slogans corresponding to the current agenda was their profession, and they were the hired personnel. Clever Red Monarch couldn’t help greatly appreciating this too! Now some poems by Mikhail Svetlov have only got the historical value in nowadays capitalist Russia. They are the monuments to the epoch he lived in while the other poems (like Granada (1926), Italian Cross (1943)) are classical and still read. They contain the spirit of true romanticism and unrestricted freedom like The Song of Hiawatha by H.W. Longfellow and it attracts hearts of the readers. The readers also appreciate the unsurpassed gift and obvious literary skill of that peculiar troubadour of the Russian revolution and Red Russia. Besides he was really witty and kind person and, by the way, the WW2 vet too.
Mikhail Svetlov with his fellow soldier in Berlin in 1945
Once Marina Tsvetayeva wrote to Vladimir Mayakovsky that poem `Granada` by Mikhail Svetlov was better than poems by Sergei Yesenin. She asked never to tell Yesenin about it to spare his feelings. Of course, she was wrong. It was an obvious exaggeration. Though being a prominent poet Svetlov has been a decreasing quantity in comparison with great Russian poet Sergei Yesenin that became the true king of the Russian poetry of the 20 c. Yet Svetlov by rights earned his eternal place in the pantheon of the evergreen, being read Russian classical poetry of the 20th c too. What they have in common is that to translate both Yesenin and Svetlov is exclusively difficult. The `simple` poetry by those authors is very sophisticated by its form and tropes. It’s a real challenge for the translators.
Returning to Svetlov`s `Granada`, that long poem, it tells about an ordinary young guy, a Red Army horseman from Western Russia whose love was Spain, especially Granada. He had never been to there. It was his dream, he used to repeat `Granada, Granada, Granada of mine!`
GRANADA OF MINE
We went at a slow pace, we charged in the fields.
We held `Little Apple`* the song between teeth.
Ah, this very ditty since then has been kept
By each blade of grass, green as emerald of steppe.
But song of my fellow he brought in the saddle
Was out of place and about far lands.
While viewing his homeland he sang all the time: `Granada, Granada, Granada of mine`!
The ditty was sung by the guy off and on.
Where had that young fella got grief for Spain from?
Tell me, Alexandrov. Now Kharkov**, tell me!
How long have you started singing Spanish indeed?
Ukraine, tell me: `Doesn’t Shevchenko Taras***
Conceal his papakha**** in these very ryes?`
Where did you, my fellow, take the motif from, why? `Granada, Granada, Granada of mine`?!
He’s slow in answering, my fellow (k)ho(k)hol*****:
`Little brother, Granada`s from a book, all in all!
A beautiful title, a great, glorious place,
Granada’s a volost`****** of Spain, get abreast!`
I left my sweet home and joined the battle
So that in Granada farmers got their land. *******
Farewell, my dear people!
Farewell, native clime! `Granada, Granada, Granada of mine`.
We dashed forth while dreaming to grasp on the fly
The grammar of battles and the tongue of field guns.
Sun set and sun rose alternating not once,
A horse which galloped o`er the steppe, it fell down.
The squadron played `Apple`* the song the whole way
By bows of hardships on the fiddles of age.
`So where’s, my fellow, got your song? Do reply!
(`Granada, Granada, Granada of mine`).
The punched out body slipped down, off your hat!
The first time the fellow couldn’t stay in the saddle.
I noticed the moon to bend over as Ma.
The lips of the dead man just whispered: `Gra-na …`.
Yes! Fellow of mine went and carried with him
His song to the sky river’s reach o`er the rim.
Since then native land hadn’t heard the guy’s rhyme: `Granada, Granada, Granada of mine`.
Detachment didn’t notice the loss of a man
And sang `Little Apple`* the song to the end.
The rain’s single tear slipped down by chance
From sky to the velvet of sunset that much.
Since that time the life has composed the new songs.
My fellows, grieve not for the song that’s done for!
Regret not, regret not, regret not, be kind! `Granada, Granada, Granada of mine`. 1926 (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
COMMENTS
*`Little Apple` (`Яблочко`) is a famous seamen`s dance and song that the revolutionary bluejackets brought to the fronts of Civil war in Russia.
A historical, historic evergreen nationwide hit that has got the numberless variants of the situational lyrics. As a rule the topical song has got one common couplet: Ah, apple small
My apple, where d`you roll?
If you get into my mouth
Hardly come back home! (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
(See: ITINERARY OF A SMALL APPLE http://www.liveinternet.ru/users/andrew_alexandre_owie/post334589510). I`m to return to that topic later.
**Alexandrov, Kharkov cities in Ukraine (Western Russia) ***TarAs ShevchEnko, a poet, artist, revolutionary of the 19 c. born in Small Russia where he spent just 15 years of his life and the rest of it in Great Russia.
Taras Shevchenko
Despite the heroic efforts of the Soviet power to glorify him as a revolutionary poet and Pan-Slavist he was not very popular throughout Russia despite his great talent due to the fact that he wrote his famous collection of poems in a Russian dialect partly invented by him himself. Unlike his poetry his dull prose was written in literary, classical Russian. He was a slave to a landlord and slavocrat Pavel Engelgardt in Small Russia who noticed his great talent and sent him to the Academy of Arts in St. Petersburg where he was bought out by the Russian artists Alexei Venetsianov, Karl Bruellow and poet Vladimir Zhukovsky, by the way, not only a great Russian poet but also a tutor of children of the Royal family. Shevchenko was banished into exile after lampooning the Royal family in his poem `A dream`.
While reading insinuations in that poem written in a dialect Czar Nicholas I laughed until his cries, but he couldn’t forgive the amotivational outrages against his wife, and, a propos (!), the Russian society, including democratic and liberal opposition, morally supported the Emperor rather than Shevchenko. The former slave deserved the lash, but he couldn’t be punished in that way in public in a city square after having been freed for 2.500 rubles by the above mentioned tenderhearted intellectuals and due to the unforgivable mercy of the Royal court. In the end of his life Shevchenko was even elected an Academician of the Academy of Arts of the Russian Empire, but he had been and remained an ungrateful pig. The seeds of this unjustified gentleness of the democratic and liberal public let alone of the benevolent absolutism germinated in 1917, and the slandered members of the Royal family fell victims to the then `social nothing`, all those villains and gauchists, gavroches, shevchenkos and svetlovs. They were not gentlemen. But they knew what they’d wanted. They wanted all and they got it all.
****papAkhahttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papakha *****khokhOl, hohol, an informal and widely used nickname of people of the Small Russian descent in Russia (Hohland is informal for Western Russia). It’s not abusive. In their turn the aboriginals of Small Russia are used to call the inhabitants of other parts of Russia `moskAls` (Muscovites in a dialect) or `katsAps`. ******volost`, administrative district in Old Russia. *******`I left my sweet home and joined the battle//So that in Granada farmers got their land`. This poem foresaw the Civil War in Spain that broke out in a decade in 1936. Being prophets poets are dangerous people. The above lines were initially present on the tombstone of the red Hungarian writer Mate Zalka, commander of the 12th Interbrigade during the Civil war in Spain, where the White (Right) and the Red (Left) of the whole world (Black and Red Internationals) went on with their war to the knife.
SVETLOV`S GRANADA AND MUSIC
Poem `Granada` was set to music by about 20 composers from different countries. But except for three Russian variants, I haven’t found the rest. The first composition performed by Leonid Utesov (Lazar Weissbein) to the tune of Konstantin Listov is absolutely detestable, tasteless, not tactful, more fit for a café chantant.
Svetlov`s `Granada`. Music by K. Listov. Sung by Leonid Utesov & Thea Jazz (30s of the 20 c.)
The second variant I found to be rather disgusting (I mean music rather than the really excellent performers)! It was composed by Mikael Tariverdiev who considered to have been an abstruse, art house, elitist musician in the USSR. Despite this reputation he was striving for composing the civic music, songs to the texts of the Soviet civic, official poets. Sometimes he achieved the great artistic and financial success following that path (outstanding music and songs to a spy TV series `The 17 instants of Spring`), but mostly his civic opuses were a tremendous failure. He was a very interesting, outstanding and creative Oriental dandy, a gentleman with a sad face of an intelligent camel who better found his bearings in the megalopolises rather than in the wilderness.
Svetlov`s `Granada` sung by Galina Besedina&Sergei Taranenko (70-80s of the 20 c.)
And only the third interpretation seems to be worth of hearing. It occurred to be the only universally recognized in Russia by the singing masses while the previous ones were rejected and totally forgotten or was left for the professional musicians. The classical variant of the song was composed by an amateur composer and poet Viktor Berkovsky in 1959. But it was performed and recorded only in 1965 for the first time and since then it has become an evergreen hit. The contents of the text by Mikhail Svetlov in the 60s of the 20 c. was a pure history, so the song by Viktor Berkovsky was simply a transport of joy of the much younger generation and had nothing to do with the then out-of-date revolutionary sentiments of the ageing, senescent poet.
Granada. Lyrics by Mikhail Svetlov. Music by Viktor Berkovsky. Man: The other days there` s going be the anniversary of Mikhail Arkadiyevich Svetlov. Woman (laughing): I knew that `Granada` would never be missed.
The author, Viktor Berkovsky, was paid a symbolic sum of 50 rubles for his song. But very soon it started being considered by people a traditional one. Viktor Berkovsky originated from an ordinary Soviet Jewish family and despite his absolute hearing was broking all his children’s violins and violin bows refusing to follow one of the traditional paths of the Jewish children. He became a professor of metallurgy instead. O! Strong character!
When he was a 30-year old engineer he entered the elementary music school for children and teenagers and finished four years program within a year. After that he spent several years in India as a consultant and University professor and a conductor of the Russian professors` choir. He had to successfully combine science and technology with poetry and music. He became an iconic author in Russia. He was a remarkable personality, by the way.
In time of the WW2 `Granada` was the hymn of the Soviet prisoners of war who formed the secret resistance group in the concentration camp KZ Mauthausen (It was led by Lev Maniewicz, a Russian intelligence agent exposed in Italy and deported to Germany). But none remembers what tune the Russian PoWs used for the poem. Sometimes I suspect Mikhail Svetlov at being among those Jews whose ancestors had been made to leave Spain several centuries before, yet they could never get rid of their Heimweh (nostalgia). The knight of the Rueful Countenance often emerges in his poetry implicitly and explicitly.
Я в гражданской войне не редко//Был веселым и лихим бойцом,//Но осталось у меня от предков//Узкое и скорбное лицо.
I was a cheerful, dashing fighter
Taking part in the Civil war’s battles.
But my ancestors gave me prior
Rather rueful and narrow face. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
El ingenioso hidalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra. Eau-forte by Savva Brodsky, Russia
On the other hand, the real motherland of Svetlov had always been the never-ending timeless Revolution. By that reason he considered himself to be a Trotskyite. In the 20s Svetlov was being identified with Soviet Henrich Heine. Poet Vladimir Mayakovsky wrote in his `Message to the Proletarian Poets` that Svetlov was the most revolutionary and red among all other Russian heines.
Fragment of the feature film `Three fellow soldiers` (1935), USSR
MEETING OF TWO EX-FELLOW SOLDIERS REMEMBERING ABOUT THE GLORIOUS DAYS OF CIVIL WAR CO-INCIDED WITH THEIR YOUNG YEARS 1st fellow soldier (actor Mikhail Zharov): I wish I could see Vasya Glinka just to feel good. We were being grown together. 2nd fellow soldier (actor Nikolai Batalov, by the way, the most favourite actor of Joseph Stalin. The actor died young of consumption): We run into each other at work. We send timbers to his factory from time to time. 1st fellow soldier: Zakhar, d`ya remember 1920? Kahovka?
Further they’re performing an iconic song and Revolutionary military march of the 30s `Kahovka` in a lyrical, not official way, as their own song, as if from the 20s. Lyrics by Mikhail Svetlov, Music by Isaac Dunayevsky.
Mikhail Svetlov SONG OF KAHOVKA
Kahovka, Kahovka, machine gun on troika*,
My hot bullet’s flying away!
Irkutsk and Warszawa, Oryol and Kahovka,
It’s milestones on our great way!
Assaults roared with gunshots, the bullets rang out,
Machineguns kept banging away...
And our girl in greatcoat worn in high style.
She went in Kahovka in flames.
Refrain
Now under the hot sun, now in the blind nighttime
We had to go marching indeed.
Being peaceful as people we store trains of armour
On sidetrack in full fighting trim!
My fellow soldier, remember our fighting.
They brought down fire on us.
That times both of us through the smoke of the fires
Met her smiling beautiful eyes.
So let us remember our baptism of fire,
Let’s drink to our glorious dead,
To our country, Kahovka, home town
Of our girl, and young years.
1935 (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
* One who reads Russian may note that there’s no machine gun on troika in the first line. Right you are! And yet my translation is exact and justified. There’s an inner rhyme in the line where Kahovka rhymes with vintOvka, i.e. gun, rifle. To find an appropriate rhyme to Kahovka was extremely hard in Russian. So what to say about English where words are in average much shorter and haven’t got the suffix -ka. Therefore I had to find an image of the equal worth, another symbol of that epoch being expressed in words fit for rhyming.
Troika is a pure Russian symbol, moreover since WW1 the Russian put the American machine guns Maxim on troikas (usually cart&three though sometimes cart&two and even four in hands). In the years of Civil war the Russian anarchists led by their prominent and notorious warlord Nestor Makhno invented the ideal tactics for using those troikas called tachAnkas and tested that tactics in the battle with the Austro-Hungarian cavalry for the first time.
The commander of the Austro-Hungarian squadron considered the anarchists to be the ordinary bandits and it lost him its head after the holocaust of the whole squadron of his. Being a man of honour brought up in the traditions of the 19 c. he shot himself soon after that. Oh yeah, babies! Machine guns on troikas were the means of mass destruction of the equestrian epoch, and they were in the wide use during Civil War in Western and Small Russia (I don’t like the word of Ukraine as it literally means edge, stump, outskirts that pre-programs the sad destiny of this region of Russia being involved now in another Civil war. - AAO).
I am ravished by the acting of Alexandre Loginov who played practically wordless part of the Austro-Hungarian commander. His eyes, their changing expressions! He’s a genius as an actor!
Actor Alexandre Loginov
The people in the above scene speak in Russian (field commander Makhno), regional dialect of Russian (his guys, ordinary farmers) and in German (that first Civil war was being accompanied by the foreign intervention too). Like Commies anarchists who expressed interests of farmers were not nationalists, and nowadays Ukrainian quasi-nationalists (quasi- as they’ve got their foreign, overseas masters) severely dislike them for that.
Returning to the machine gun on troika I discovered that that very test of its new ruinous tactics took place in the region of legendary Kahovka from the song. And there’s a monument to tachanka on a hill in Kahovka City in the former Kahovka Theater of War (TOW) of the 10-20s of the 20 c. In any case the image I chose for my translation of Mikhail Svetlov`s poem has got the title to existence as it ideally corresponds to the time and place of the poem. Quod erat demonstrandum!
Emblem of Kahovka City in the Revolutionary years
WARSZAWA As to Warszawa mentioned in the lyrics this capital of Poland was then a capital of Kingdom of Poland of the Russian Empire. The Red Army was defeated by the Polish Army in the years of Civil war as a result of the unsolvable conflict between authoritative Party commissars Stalin and Voroshilov, pure military laymen, and young military expert, Red field-marshal Mikhail Tukhachevsky (Tuchaczewski) in the Red Army.
Joseph Stalin and Clement Voroshilov during Civil war and Mikhail Tuchaczewski as he was before the Russian revolution. He was a close friend of Charles de Gaulle in time of the WW1, they were PoWs in Germany
Poland resurrected as a national state after defeat of Germany, Austro-Hungary and Russia in the WWI. Their lands re-united then, as to the commanding officers of the new Polish Army they were the former professional military officers of the German, Austro-Hungarian and Russian armies.
Tuchaczewski after Revolution in the Red Army
The bolshies didn’t want to re-conquer Poland. They only wanted to make it communist and use as a springboard for the proliferation of the World’s Revolution in accordance with Lev Trotsky doctrine. Mikhail Svetlov: `... an enormous feeling of internationalism has been accumulated in me by that time. I dealt with people of many nationalities, Russian, Letts, Chinese, and other nationalities as my companions-in-arms. We were all united by the participation in Civil war`.
LA BELLE DAME The appearance of the girl in the poem who must have been killed in action was quite unavoidable. Though Mikhail Svetlov was not a womanizer, he really loved woman and sang them as if he would have been a medieval troubadour. Many, even `political` poems by him, were not got rid of a certain portion of eroticism and manly sentimentality that Caesar of the Eastern Roman Empire especially liked in poetry. The song in the video is performed by two friends in the informal situation. There were, however, other, not intimate interpretations of the song. And in those cases the hidden and tender eroticism gave up its place to stupid, one-dimensional music posters for the masses.
Andrei Ivanov`s singing `Song of Kahovka` (Record of 1950)
Svetlov died relatively young in 1964 as a living classic. He was aware of his illness and authority and used to call himself a half-dead classic. He explained that he had not only been in fashion but also he’d been great: `The fashion is perishable, the fame is posthumous!` He asked his friends bring him beer to hospital as he’s already got cancer (he had a terminal stage of cancer. - AAO). Brandy was also good for that old good wino. The doctors recommended him to stop, drink no more than a drop of vodka. But he used to drink a bottle and made excuses to his drinking companions. He would say that a bottle was just a big drop. He explained: `I could make without the necessary, but not without the rest`.
He would spend nights in the restaurant of the National Hotel in Moscow. He had not to pay as many people, young and old, were glad to have that celebrity in their companies. While waiting for attention of his fans he was writing poems, and many of his poems first appeared on the napkins.
In the 60s he was an idol of the Russian youth again. He was one of few Russian poets of the elder generations who were participating in the informal poetic gatherings of the Russian youth in the Polytechnic Museum that time. There were two short, but bright periods of mad infatuation of the youth with poetry in Russia in the 20c. The first climax was in the 20s and the second in the 60s. The thick of these events was the Polytechnic Museum in Moscow. Svetlov reads ( watch from 4:58 to 6:33 his poem`The Soviet Old Men` in the video:
This poem despite its `ideological` title is just expressing a feeling of deep regret for the fact that women have to get older and that it’s unjust. The lyrical hero of the poem, a Soviet old man is ready to sacrifice everything to prevent this sad phenomenon, unnatural for him, and he hopes that all men of the USSR will support his impulse of a gentleman. In connection with this I remembered words of Svetlov: `Every poet dreams to write a poem that readers would like to read in a whisper`. Soon after this had been said the then young poet Evgeniy Yevtushenko responded with his famous erotic lines: You asked me in the whisp`ring words//What`s afterwords, //What`s afterwards?. The generations` roll-call?!
From his side Svetlov also liked the risky jokes.
-Some juice, Mikhail Arkadiyevich?
-What is juice, after all, just a Jew plus os!
Song by the Berry sisters and, in the end of the scene, military brass band performing the Civil war`s march `Sholem Aleichem`, 20s of the 20 c.
Or he stated while imitating seriousness: `My grandfather was a slave to Sholem Aleichem!`
Mature Svetlov, young Svetlov and `slavocrat` Sholem Aleichem
Mikhail Svetlov made a loose translation of `Der kleine Trompeter` (The Little Trumpeter) by W. Wallroth (1925) dedicated to the 28 year old bugler of the Rotfront (Redfront)`s Spartakusbund (Union of Spartacus) Fritz Weinecke killed in 1925 in Halle, Germany.
Der kleine Trompeter
The song in Svetlov`s translation was used by the Soviet propaganda and became a hymn of the Soviet boy and girl scouts. Mikhail Svetlov transformed the image of the young man into a teenager of 15 years and replaced the trumpet with the drum in accordance with the wider and older European military tradition.
Mylène Farmer - Pourvu qu'elles soient douces
Curiously enough, but innovative and deep music videos by Mylène Farmer by their aesthetics of romanticism are very close to that of Svetlov`s poetry, they’re sooner male than feminine ones, tough as guys, erotic and they are based on the classical literature, traditions, history and life. You may object that it’s just pop and it’s something French. But the Russian revolution was just the second act of the French revolutions and we can’t exclude that the third act will be French too in some way or another or even directly.
Mikhail Svetlov never forgot he had been a gavroche. Now that I watch the modern French dramatizations of Les Misérables by Victor Hugo I see l'art pour l'art (art for art's sake) as characters of Hugo are Plus-que-parfait, the remotest history. The children play gavroches like oliver-twists. Of course, it’s good rather than bad, it’s normal, after all. As to Svetlov he percepted Hugo through the alembic of not artistic fancy, but in accordance with his own real experience, experience of his young years. He was a teenager in the war. And like many other teenagers of that time he repeated the experience of 16-year-old Jeanne d'Arc, though they did it with the varying degrees of it. They all believed in Communia à la Commune de Paris of 1871, and we must admit that the `utopic` hopes and dreams of many of them came true that time though also with the varying degrees of it.
It was a fragment from an Aleksandrs Leimanis film (Latvia, 1964) Cielavias Armija (The Wagtail`s Army): three homeless gavroches, Russian, Gipsy and Lett, from Omsk, Siberia, formed their own little Red Army and began their own struggle against the White Army.
Alexandrs Leimanis and the The Wagtail`s Army`s poster
We see them lying in the hollow cavity like that in the Gavroche`s Elephant, singing and dreaming of the future, of the victorious Communia which will come owing to their revolutionary efforts and make them military officers, musicians, scientists, i.e. will make their dreams come true and their life, as they expect, will be `free from the class enemies, cowards and thieves`. The boys are not Mylène Farmer`s Désenchantée, they know what to do and where to go! Sic!
They’re nice but dangerous and initiative children. By the way, the film is opened by the frightful scene of their inventive derailing the train with soldiers. Mortal combat, so to say! Not a computer game at all! On the other hand, they still remain children, Mica, the Lettish boy, likes the children` lullaby song `Aija zuzu laca berni` (`Hush-a-bye, hush, my bear cubs, hush-a-bye, hush`) about a little bear. He’ll find his father, a Red Lettish Rifleman, quite occasionally when they try to join the Red Army armour train.
The children from from St. Petersburg children`s choir performing Lettish lullaby `Aija zuzu laca berni `[ai-ya zhu-zhu lacha barni] with teddy-bears in their hands
Jeanne d'Arc and Don Quixote are ones of the prevailing images of Svetlov`s poetry. It’s hardly occasional. The people of his generation could have by rights said `Je suis Jeanne d'Arc` or even Jean d'Arc. But unlike Jeanne they, the young people of the Revolutionary time, liberated their country not only from the foreign invaders but also (and mainly) from what they considered to be a social injustice! They struggled for their places in the sun! It’s time that changes, not people! Due to the social inequality history has to be a helix: slave, free, master and so on again and again!
GREAT PATRIOTIC JEANNE
Jeanne d'Arc whom I sincerely love managed to fulfill the mission of the national liberation at the very young age. She was illiterate and ignoble (i.e. lowborn) and played a part of the Moor who had done his duty, so let him go. In Russia the same mission was being carried out by a pair of the mature and experienced men, one of them was a nobleman (Prince Dmitry Pozharsky), another was from commons (Citizen Kuz`ma Minin). The monument to them by Ivan Martos was erected in the Red Square in Moscow, right in front of the Cathedral of St. Basil.
In France Jeanne’s success was a disgrace to the elite and a triumph of the social insubordination. She was more foreign for the upper classes of her country than the foreigners she’d banished. She was executed appropriately, but in vain because her death did not allow of misappropriating her great services to her country. The name of the king of that epoch is hardly remembered by people, but Jeanne d'Arc is still alive and kicking. The French women cannot but amaze me.
Jeanne in the war (Actress Inna Tchurikova. A Gleb Panfilov film `Inception`, 1970)
The caught soldier: Don’t hold me! Let me go! Jeanne: What’s their fault? Officer: Deserters! Jeanne: Where’s your weapon? Deserter #1: Somewhere! Jeanne: Yours? Deserter#2(sobbing): I don’t know! Jeanne: Why? Reply! Why? Deserter#2: I was scared. Deserter#1: We were afraid! That’s why we did it! Deserter#2: Jeanne! Forgive me! I won’t do it again! Forgive! Jeanne: Hang the traitors! Officer: Both? Jeanne: Both! Deserter#2: A-a-a-h! Jeanne!!! Deserter#1: Witch! Witch! Officer: It’s time to go, Jeanne! ... What’s with you? Jeanne: I am scared! Officer: Time presses, Jeanne! Jeanne: Horse! Officer: Horse! Jeanne: All who trust me follow me! THE END
The Inquisition`s Interrogation (Actress Inna Tchurikova, A Gleb Panfilov film `Inception`, 1970)
Inquisitor: Thus, Jeanne, you believe that human being is the true miracle in the Earth? Jeanne: Yes, milord! Inquisitor: Human being who is woven from sin, mistakes, inability, weakness. Jeanne: As well as from fortitude, valour and purity. Inquisitor: Do you insist on this? Jeanne: I do! Inquisitor: You are ready to take too much on yourself, Jeanne! Jeanne: Why not, milord! I witnessed all this in the war! Inquisitor: Thus you justify a human being! You consider this creation to be one of the greatest miracles of God. Jeanne: I really do! Inquisitor: Don’t utter profanities, Jeanne! Human being is dirt, baseness and indecent behavior! Jeanne: I agree, milord! Human being is sinful, often villainous, but after that not knowing why he is able to rush to intercept the galloping horse to rescue an unknown child and to die, his bones all broken! He dies in piece! Inquisitor: He dies as an animal, in sin. Jeanne: No, milord. He dies shining, pure and God awaits him and smiles. THE END
Betrayal (Actress Inna Tchurikova, A Gleb Panfilov film `Inception`, 1970)
Priest: Jeanne, our lost daughter, be kind as to sign this! Jeanne: Why do you talk with me tenderly? Priest: I am talking with you as God orders me. God is kind! Jeanne: God, but not you! Priest: Let it be! But you should sign this! Jeanne: I won’t sign anything! Priest: Do sign this! Jeanne: I won’t! Priest: You shouldn’t be like that, Jeanne. Sign! Jeanne: No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! Priest: Why are you so stubborn? What the use? Your King won’t save you! Jeanne: That’s not true! Priest: That’s true! That’s true because he betrayed you. Jeanne: Please, no! My King did not betray me. Priest: But he did! Once we convicted you of this. Then you also agreed that your king had betrayed you. Jeanne: I did it in a weak moment that I regret! Priest: But he all the same betrayed you! Jeanne: He must have done it because France needed it!
Royal Anthem of France (Tchaikovsky) — London Symphony Orchestra & André Previn
OUR DAYS
The review room of the film studio. In the rear row there are the ordinary girl who played Jeanne and other girls, her friends from her native town in province. Influential script writer: Is it all? Film director: All in all, 7 reels of film. Script writer: Well, comrades! IMHO, it’s no class! Producer: As to me, it’s great! Script writer: Oh, I don't know (to the film director) You’ve been asked, even begged not to feature her in the title role. Film director: I am sick and tired of those glamour beauties! Script writer: It’s not the case! Is it really Jeanne d`Arc? It’s but a street hooligan! As a scriptwriter I insist on her replacement. Film director: She is irreplaceable! Scriptwriter: She is, is she? Why are there the unauthorized persons in the review room? Producer: Why are there the unauthorized persons in the review room? Administrator: What? Where are they? Girls, I ask you to walk out! Urgently! Actress: Girls! Don’t move. Administrator: What does it mean: Don’t move? Walk out! Actress: But they are with me! Administrator: It doesn’t matter. Let them walk out! Girls: Never mind, Parasceva! Don’t get upset! Catherine, let’s go! Administrator: Hurry up! Make haste, girls! Be quick! Rush! Actress: Valentina! Wait, I am with you! Administrator: Parasceva Ivanovna, you may stay! Actress: Fuck you! THE END
MAY SHE REST IN THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN
Rev. Father Smirnov on the Russian Orthodox Church`s attitude for Jeanne d`Arc over the radio `Radonezh`
Listener: Hello, Reverend Father, I am the servant of God Viktor, I’ve reread Mark Twain’s short novel about Jeanne d`Arc. Yet I can’t understand whether she was a heretic or saint? She used to say the saints appeared before her and put her on strait and narrow, explained how to free France. What is the Russian Orthodox Church’s formal attitude for her as she is a personality of a global scale? If there is not, then what is your personal attitude for her? Thank you!
Rev. Father Dmitry Smirnov: From the viewpoint of the official Orthodox Church’s piety that I am inclined to share such personalities as Jeanne – May she rest in the Kingdom of Heaven! - had been in a state of the spiritual deception ( i.e., IMHO, she had not been following the traditional values of Christianity to the full extent. – AAO). She as I suppose her to be must have been an emotionally vulnerable lady and this is the reason she was prone to be influenced by the various visions. She could not be a heretic in any case, it’s impossible because she was an illiterate maiden. To be a heretic all right one has to be more or less theologically educated let alone to have the elementary education. But all phenomena, visions and the way she construed them can’t help witnessing that her emotional sphere might have been somehow damaged. On the other hand, it’s hardly proper to insist on the rightness of this speculation now, many centuries later. Yet if to be based only on the records of that epoch that came down to us such a conclusion has got right to exist, and many Orthodox church experts on that topic are in general inclined to admit that that person could have been in a state of the spiritual deception`. THE END
IMHO, Rev. Father implies that Jeanne could really though naively put the human being too high that was a specific feature and questionable spiritual achievement of the Renaissance. Many centuries later it led to atheism, theomachy and other naive, temporary, but dangerous and punishable consequences of a loss of contact in a system: human - God where God ought to predominate on the conditions of free will and free choice of a human being. As to me Jeanne is indisputable Sainte Jeanne de France, she was included in a canon by the Catholic Church in 1920. She is represented in my mind as it was pictured by Inna Tchurikova in the Russian film, one of the people, vox populi est vox Dei. She`s alive in that film. As to me I seem to be one of the deserters, the one who was sobbing and falling down at her feet. She would be fine with President Trump maybe.
Great Patriotic Trump
But Mikhail Svetlov, yes, unlike Sainte Jeanne he really was in a state of the spiritual deception. Fortunately he`d been lucky to die before his social ideal that had come true in his youth crumbled. We are all or majority of us are also in a state of the spiritual deception though everyone goes crazy in a different way. Well, if we stubbornly think that we grasped God` beard I wish we had all died before our personal ideals crumbled and left us all alone with the shards. On the other hand, the future would have hardly made Svetlov change his mind since he was convinced as he would say that it’s hopes die rather than people.
I don’t know why, but our common destiny is likely to be the shards until we get smarter and allow for what the Boss once remarked, `Man is conceived in sin and born in corruption and he passeth from the stink of the didie to the stench of the shroud. There is always something.` - Robert Penn Warren, All the King's Men.
It`s just understanding of our imperfectness makes us really perfect, safe and sound. As to Mr. Trump you are afraid of him just because he says what he thinks and wants to act, to be sure he`s interrupting something. So did Bismark in his time. Besides, all this endless thinking. It`s very overrated. We consider him uncultured just beacause our culture is the refined hypocrisy called the political correctness let alone the schizophrenic dissimulation of humanism and accumulation and postponement of the unavoidable troubles. We`re the most dangerous idealists charmed by the financial wizzards making money right out of thin air and narrow-minded brass helmets dreaming of blitzkriegs in a Napoleonic or Hitlerian way.
GIOCA`S JOKE-KUS
Pen names of the Russian authors are Natalie Vedeneyeva, Olga, Sylvie Zhdanova, Nickoletta, Natalie Kolosoff, Xenia Livanova, Viktoria, Daniela, etc. Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie.
Pears in their nest. Still life by Katya Vereschagina
Having checked all the accounts
The vet in years
Is polishing his shoes with some tar.
While whistling under his breath
A sailor of the Northern Navy
Has thrown a potato into the boiling water.
An absent-minded general
Told a risky joke
In the backstreet casino.
Beaky pears. Still life by Katya Vereschagina
Having become the boss of an affiliate
The hot blonde is switching her PC on
And going to bed.
Having read too many tweets
A big-eared bunny
Caged the blue canary.
Blue Canary - Dinah Shore (1953)
The new boss announced
That the yellow-bellied chicken
Would eat all the buns.
Dressed literally `fit to kill`
Pilot of the Boeing gonna perform
As the wedding’s animator.
Our mechanic advanced in his years
Got his feet wet.
How dared he?
Motor Macachanic
A gay black girl
Is solving an extraordinary problem
In sunny Arctic.
A familiar dude
Has caught a dragonfly.
Sh-sh! He’s apologizing to it.
Rare record of 1961. Little Boy: Hungarian Folk Dance `Pontozó `. Music is traditional. Soloists: Volodya Baerenzweig, Oleg Grigoriyev, Vitya Golubkov, Borya Martynov and Zhenya Tchernenko.
On the Twelfth Night
The rude and unwashed girl next door
Found a mysterious scroll.
Not ignoring a problem
A girl loving to play the guitar
is bravely fighting with the dogs.
After examining himself in the mirror
Our reliable companion drinks
Coca-Cola bottle by bottle.
A light-headed and ne'er-do-well gal
Is exposing the Internet fraudsters
On the parade’s tribune.
After receiving her vacation pay
A sheikh`s concubine
Will unload her revolvers.
Three Thinking Parts By Mona Lisa: Combative Amazon Woman, Armoured Jeanne d`Arc and Creative Sexy Hongweibing
White Fashion Photo Session of the Comedy Club’s Actresses in the studio of the Moscow PRO Production
THE STRUNG CHEERLEADER, OR IS IT PROPER FOR A YOUNG LADY TO SOAR ALONE IN A HANGAR?
Acting Ekaterina Skoolkina as Cheerleader, Alexandre Goodkov as Assistant, Daniel Velichko as himself (Cameraman)(Comedy Club Production/Comedy Woman)
Girls (chanting): Co-me-dy Wo-man! Co-me-dy! Wo-man! Cheerleader (in a squeaky voice): Woman! Girls (dancing and supporting heels of the cheerleader strung to the ceiling of the PRO studio) Cameraman: Pause. Girls, be free. Do scatter away as fast as possible. If she falls she’ll kill all of you! Cheerleader: Hey! Where to, y`all! Fuck! When landed I’ll kill you myself! Assistant: You’re a hailstone! A huge hailstone! When on earth will you be on Earth? My arm gonna be torn off! Cheerleader: Do not let me fall! Or else I tear your fucking arm myself after I go down! Assistant: I beg, have her lowered A.S.A.P.! (letting her fall after fruitless attempts to hold her) What to do now? (Cheerleader’s voice) You bitch!
BEHIND THE SCENE BEFORE BEING PICKED UP (though it’s also the mise-en-scène)
Actress doubts that her weight let her soar safely. She’s asking what the weights of other present in the studio are. Cheerleader: I’m afraid. No kidding. I can’t go upstairs because I’d not be able to hold on to the handrail. (Stepping downstairs) Mommy! Mommy! Ah! All (in chorus): We’re holding you. No worry! Cheerleader (pulling herself together): Well, you may let me fly now! Cameraman: (showing with his leg what the actress should do with her leg, addressing girls): Support her second foot! Cheerleader: Is it a normal view if to look at me from beneath? ... Ha-ha-ha! (singing clearly in an unexpectedly tender voice) Now I am floating away,//And the time’s moving me off from edge to edge ... THE END(Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
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The song sung by the soaring cheerleader is the poem by Indian writer Rabindranath Tagore রবীন্দ্রনাথ ঠাকুর (Ravīndranātha Thākura) (1861-1941)
(he was awarded the 1913 Nobel Prize in literature) from his novel Shesher kobita (The Last Poem) (Bengali: শেষের কবিতা).
The song to a fragment of the poem `The Last poem` (it really concludes the novel by Tagore as a poem of Lobanno addressed to Omito) was composed by Alexei Rybnikov http://www.rybnikovtheater.ru/index.php/truppa/aleksej-rybnikov in the 70s for the feature film `You never even dreamt of this`, 1980.
The film `You never even dreamt of this`, 1980, is based on the same name short novel by Galina Shcherbakova about the first love in a high school. Song is sung in the film by the duet `The 33 1/3`(Irina Otiyeva and Vera Sokolova).
Whether the wind will scatter the old name?
I can’t be back to the land that I left.
Don’t try to see me in vain from a distance,
You’ll fail by all means, you’ll fail by all means,
So my friend, farewell!
Now I am floating away,
And the time’s moving me off from edge to edge,
From shore to shore and from shoal to shoal ...
My friend, farewell!
Sure somewhen from a distant shore
Of the remotest past
Night wind of spring will bring
My sigh to you.
You have a look, you have a look
Whether whatever remained
After me?
At midnight oblivion
Of the late brink of your life
You have a look sans despair
You have a look sans despair:
Whether this flashes assuming an aspect
Of an unknown appearance
As if occasional?
This is no dream!
This is all truth of mine,
This is the verity.
The law of eternity conquering death,
That’s what this love of mine!
That’s what this love of mine!
That’s what this love of mine!
1934
(Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Except for pop singers Irina Otiyeva and Vera Sokolova (photo below)
the number of the initial and most famous performers of the song composed in 1970 also included the Linniks trio (later `Zodiac` group).
Alexei Rybnikov
The Linniks were the first performers of the song composed by Alexei Rybnikov and they had it recorded in 1973 but that time the song went absolutely unobserved. I don’t like this interpretation, it’s too `Oriental` (quasi-Oriental) and exotic for me.
The melody of the song had been composed before the composer met, quite occasionally, the poem by Tagore in Adelina Adalis` translation. He was amazed by an ideal co-incidence of her translation and his occasional melody.
Rabindranath Tagore
It’s Tagore and the very exact one if to judge by the translation that became the lyrics. The way the text and music were interpreted by Irina Otiyeva and Vera Sokolova was not too `Oriental`, i.e. exotic. Sooner universal one, not distracting, drawing away from what Tagore wanted to express, to say. This predetermined the great success of the song almost a decade later after its first performance and record. And, then, what’s the Orient? Tagore`s face reminds me of the Russian Orthodox monks from the Opta`s Monastery, his contemporaries, and very much so!
Monk Varsonofy, Opta`s Monastery
Much later I felt (rather immodestly as he’s really great unlike me!) my being kinda the twin soul with Rabindranath Tagore in the current blog. Why not? The same blend of romance and satire, combination of prose & poetry, 'good' and 'bad' writings.
Contextual Modernism! The same lyricism, colloquialism, naturalism, optimism, digressions to history and the art (so to say, every cook praises his own broth! Let it be my excuse!).
The highly-respected in Russia `Yalla` group from Uzbekistan also sang that song in 1980, many a man in Russia considers this interpretation the best one (tastes differ, after all) and it’s been remaining the permanent part of their repertory:
As to Irina Otiyeva and Vera Sokolova`s interpretation, it was the feature film that also made the song popular and literally discovered it for the general public. The song became an evergreen hit, equally loved and understandable owing to the various interpretations both for the Oriental and Western audience of Russia as it turned out to be a synthesis of both cultural traditions. The song lost touch with the film and started living its own life.
NEVER COMPLAIN, NEVER EXPLAIN
The author of an incomplete translation of Tagore`s poem made in 1934 and served as the lyrics for the song in that variant was a poetess, translator, journalist, natural scientist, philosopher and Orientalist Adelina Adalis (or Efron in her foster family), born Adelina Alexeyevna Viskovatova)) (1900-1969), one of the famous but forgotten poetesses of the Silver Age of the Russian poetry.
Adelina Adalis (Efron-Viskovatova): young and mature years
In April 2016 grandson of Adelina Adalis registered a claim against the McDonald’s in Moscow for the unauthorized using several lines from her translation of the poem by Tagore in the company’s TV commercial. He insisted on 5 million of rubles of compensation but had to only agree to 200.000 rubles. (Son of Adelina Adalis Vladimir Sergeyev was the author of lyrics for the iconic Russian song `Frontmen, wear your orders` (music by Oscar Feltzmann)).
Since 1918 Adelina Adalis had been the Muse and mistress of a prominent Russian poet Valeriy Bryusov, that `Stephane Mallarme` of the Russian poetry.
Their romance lasted until his death though he was an elderly incurable drug-addict.
Portrait of Adelina Adalis, the 20s of the 20 c. by N. Kostenko
Osip Mandelstamm was also among her famous admirers and even declared her (in the mid-30s) a poetess more outstanding than Marina Tsvetayeva was. The latter statement was a shameless exaggeration but we can’t exclude that even Bryusov could learn something from her too. He dedicated a dozen of her poems to her and often used the lines from her poems as epigraphs to his own poems. That time all Moscow passed from mouth-to-mouth the anonymous epigram: `Tell us, dear Adalis//How you put out to Bryusov, please!`
I.V. Sergeyev (Baron von Teichmann)
But in the long run, still remaining a voluntary odalisque of Bryusov Adelina Adalis married Ivan Vladimirovich Sergeyev (known as Baron von Teichmann before the revolution) who was at different times a geographer, explorer and writer, Chairman of the Tutmonda Esperantista Junulara Organizo (TEJO) (World Esperanto Youth Organization) and Editor-in-Chief of the state-owned `Children`s Literature`Publishing House at the end of his career. He often introduced himself as a Don River Cossack in the Soviet time.
Johann Strauss The Blue Danube`s Persian Dance. Marina Volkova, a sophomore of the Krasnoyarsk Ballet School, Siberia
Bryusov who was angry with the fact that Sergeyev roped in his concubine wrote an epigram mocking him as an only Russian, Cossack in the literary circle of the Jewish poets: `Ivan Vladimirovich Sergeyev`s noosed,//He’s only Ivan among Jews!` A Prussian pretending to be Russian and Russian pretending to be a Jewish woman. A typical couple of the Soviet intellectuals! Addressing `unfaithful` Adalis Bryusov modified the above mentioned epigram: `Adalis, Adalis! Whom have you yielded to, dear miss?` Adalis was much younger than Bryusov was but a little elder than Sergeyev.
In the mid-20s Adalis and Sergeyev participated in their first expedition in Central Asia, and after that they wrote together an adventure novel entitled in a very strange way `Abjed Hevez Huty (`Абджед Хевез Хютти`) (1926) based on their travel impressions.
Indiana Jones And The Raiders Of The Lost Ark - Bar Fight on Tibet
In part it was also a sci-fi novel about an unknown, hermetic and much more developed civilization in the Pamirs. The 20-30s of the 20 c. were the years of search for the Close Encounters of the Third Kind with the mysterious civilizations in the mountains both for Russia and Germany, and those searches were being accompanied with the passing applied espionage against the British Empire. Just remember Indiana Jones! By the way, I can`t exclude that both the Russian and Germans could then achieve some still valid settlements with the unknown (in Russia they preferred to define the unknown as the mahatmas for convenience) in the Pamirs, Urals and on Tibet regarding the assistance to the human race in case of the `Independence Day`.
Ballet Scheherazade set to Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov`s Symphonic Suite `Scheherazade` based on `The Arabian Nights`. Zobeide - Ilze Liepa, Golden Slave - Victor Yeryomenko, Shakhriar - Andris Liepa, Shakhezman - Gulam Poladkhanov, Eunuch - Igor Mozzhukhin, Odalisques - Tatiana Genkel, Ekaterina Liepa, Maria Komarova.
After death of Bryusov Adelina left Russia for Central Asia, Azerbaijan, Georgia, Afghanistan, China and Iran as a journalist (or maybe a spy) and several years later she came back as a scholar well grounded in the Orient. Despite her decadent past she ideally fitted in the Soviet present though the style of her poetry we could define as neoacmeism that time too. By the way, her first collection of poems was published in 1934 in the USSR after finishing her mission abroad.
When the Soviet authorities wanted to have their own Nizami, Firdousi, Saadi, Khafiz, Navoï, Fizuli in the Soviet Orient in the 40s of the 20 c. she was given a commission to write their repertory in Russian so that the chosen nominees among poets and writers of the Soviet Orient could translate those poems into Dari and other Oriental languages and be appointed their true authors. Until now those poems by Adalis are regarded as translations from the Central Asian languages though they were her original poems in Russian translated into them.
Being an outstanding female polymath she fulfilled this exclusively complicated political and artistic task brilliantly. By irony of fate some of Adalis` perfect pieces of the `original` Soviet Oriental poetry became the lyrics of the popular songs that had got the genuine ethnic flavour. The naïve, politically innocent Soviet composers were sincerely attracted by the Russian texts of her `translations` of the modern Oriental poetry that was to have been the provement of the great artistic achievements of socialism in Central Asia and in the Caucasus.
Rashid Beibutov performs a quasi-Oriental song which melody was set to Adelina Adalis` `translated` lyrics. `The wonderful eyes of the girl I love`
The other venerable translator from the languages of the Soviet peoples Semyon Lipkin who supervised the translating policy in the USSR in the 40-50s of the 20 c. invented a special definition for this perverted practice that read: `translations of a new type`, `the vectored translations`.
Vectored Semyon Lipkin
Many poets really translated the original poets of Central Asia using the literal translations. Even Anna Akhmatova. Later, in the liberal 60s Akhmatova used that experience while translating the then highly-paid and widely-read in the USSR classical poetry of the Hittites, Ancient Egypt and medieval Korea. As to Adelina Adalis she translated the classical poets of China, India, Persia, other countries from the originals too.
Divine GOOGOOSH گوگوش (فائقهٔ آتشین) performing the classical `Mano Gonjishkaayeh Khooneh` (The sparrows and I ) on the stage of Microsoft Theatre, Los Angeles. I saw her in the Persian film Dar Emtedade Shab در امتداد شب for the first time.
Though she excellently translated Tagore India seemed to have been the only Oriental country she never had been to. The full translation of the poem by Tagore was published twice, in 1956 (in the 3rd volume of the 8-volume set of works) and in 1965 (in the 9th volume of the 12-volume complete works by Tagore) in Russian in the translation by scholar Vera Novickaya.
Since the Soviet time much has changed.
Adelina Adalis. The Insomnia: Selected poems. St. Petersburg, Limbus Press Publishing House, 2002 (The Silver Series) (Аделина Адалис. Бессонница: Избранные стихи. СПб.: Лимбус Пресс, 2002 («Серебряная серия»)
In spite of their high artistic value Adelina Adalis` collection of poems and translations of 1920-1969 (`The Insomnia` published in 2002) has not been sold out so far. She has been forgotten by the reading public, though not numerous, too. Before the Revolution Adalis was a member of the literary circle `The Green Lamp` in Odessa;
`The Green Lamp`, Odessa (1918): From left to right sitting persons A.Ye. Adalis, S.I. Kesselmann, G.I. Shengeli, A. Sokolovsky, Z.K. Shishova, Yu. Shengely. Standing persons S.S. Olesevich, E.G. Bagritsky (as a poet he’ll become a famous figure in the USSR. - AAO), N. Sokolik. The cut out person is A. Kiprensky
after the Revolution she moved to Moscow in 1920 and joined one of the leading literary groupings `Moskovsky Parnas` (Moscow Parnassus). By the 60s she was the only one who dared to abstain from voting against Boris Pasternak. However, it was hardly a political, civic protest, since Adelina was under great influence of Pasternak`s poetry in her youth. Bryusov sensei never impressed her as a poet at least to that extent. There was also a short but bright period of her passion for Osip Mandelstam.
In times of adversity experienced by her old flame Boris Pasternak the writers partaking in the meeting organized to condemn him came to the unjust conclusion that the lady had made her mind just to remind of herself (better late than never!). Though, honestly, in the 60s she was just a tiny long-nosed old woman wearing her dark dress and reminding a little black bird. All the gathered just wondered as if collective `Lady Violet`: `Are you here to help or irritate?` So her protest and she herself were simply ignored. It’s so sad only! But c`est la vie!
WHAT PEOPLE SAY
Indeed, what do the Russian say if to overhear them occasionally in the streets, when straphanging, on twitter, etc.? Let’s have a glimpse!
ON CHILDREN
• Your children will sooner imitate you rather than follow your advice.
• While embracing my daughter I feel she’s been stealing my perfumes.
ON WOMEN, MEN & SEX
• The woman smiles whenever the man tries.
• Women. Well, they are cruel, they’re a source of all disasters. But they’re so beautiful ... an` they smell so good!
• Ah! To go off into hysterics is just our special, women’s way of having fun.
• Erection is the most honest compliment of a man.
• What do you know about me if we had never chatted till 4 a.m.
• Intimacy with people suggests a possibility to mock at them and go unpunished.
• I love you! Just 3 words, 8 letters and one million of problems.
• Male logics: I bonked her because I love you.
ON DRINKING
• My best friend likes tea; I prefer coffee, so when we spend time together we drink wine to be not at variance.
• I had 39.9. Wow! Just fancy, I just needed 0.1 to become vodka!
CONFESSIONS
• Some consider me rude and mean. Well, so do I.
• I am so tired of being tired!
WORDS OF WISDOM
• The difference between lie and truth is that lie has got a lot of eyewitnesses while the truth hasn’t got any.
• What happened once may never happen again. But what happened twice will repeat itself for the third time too.
• To live in a small town means to be familiar even before an acquaintance.
THE CLUB OF THE MERRY LITTLE FOLKS `ON STREAM`
Where could I see him? Director B. Dyozhkin. Scripwriters: A. Kumma, Sergei Runge, B. Dyozhkin. Artists: V. Sobolev, V. Dolhikh, V. Arsentiyev, B. Dyozhkin. Composer M. Meierovicz
WHERE COULD I SEE HIM?
Boy : May I? Hi! Pencil: Hi! (reading) Application. I want to be admitted to the Club of the Merry Little Folks. I promise to fulfill all the commissions. Pencil: Well, what can you do? Boy: Everything! Pencil: Can you prepare a concert number? Boy: I can. It’s to be like that. Lion. (roaring) Sit up and beg! Lion: I do! Well, will it do? Pencil: It’s very good! Do this number! Boy: Gotta go! Pencil: Wait! Where to? Boy: Home. To rehearse! Pencil: When will you be ready to perform? Boy: In a week! Pencil: Fine! Boy: Soon be back! Pencil (to all): Rehearsal! Burattino: Where could I see him? Can’t remember (door knocking) Pencil: Come in! Ready? Boy: No! It’s not interesting! I changed my mind! I’d like to dance! It’s to be like that! Dances are better! I promise! Pencil (angry): I promise, I promise! Who’ll do the number with the beasts? Burattino, now you’ll have to do it! Burattino: Yessir! Burattino: Where could I see him? Can’t remember! Pencil (to the boy): Look! Be ready in a week! Boy: I do promise! Pencil (to all): Rehearsal! Pencil (to the boy): Ready? Boy: No! I changed my mind! Pencil: You promised the beasts, you promised us the dances! You let us down! We do not admit persons like you are! Boy (to all separately): I promise! I do! I do! (to Pencil) I promise a new number! Pencil (to all): Shall we trust him? For the last time! Concert’s to be in a week! Will you have been ready? Boy: Yes, of course! It’s to be that way! I’ll be playing all the instruments! Flute! Violin! Drums! Music number! Burattino: Where could I see him? Can’t remember! Pencil: Well! Concert tonight! Where’s that whatshisname? (noticing the boy) Ready? Boy: Yes! Pencil: It’s so nice of you! Boy: It’s to be like that! Magic tricks! Pencil: What? Tricks? Where’s the music number? Boy: I promise... Burattino: Ah! I’ve remembered! None other than Promiskin! Pencil: You let us down! Get back your application! You’re fired! You empty Promise-kin! Boy: What about the concert? Will it have been? Burattino (rather venomously): I promise it! It’s to be like that!
CONCERT We see names of the residents of the Merry Little Men`s Club. Audience is greeting their idols. Shouts: Burattino! Punch! Just look, Cipollino! Over there! Promiskin`s sitting in the box beside a fireman. First number: Burattino`s performing the unbelievable tricks on scooter, Punch`s performing the Russian and Caucasian traditional dances.
Boy: But this is a…! Fireman: A what? Hurvinek & Dunno (singing):
Little fellow came to our circle.
He was ready, had quick tongue.
He won hearts of ours in no time.
He seemed really the right staff!
He was eager to do something,
He was sportily as none,
He was burning with desire
And was getting cold at once.
Fireman (to Promiskin): Isn’t it about you? Boy: No! Hurvínek & Dunno (summing up):
Actor, comic and musician,
Tiger trainer, by our fay!
He occurred to be the showman
Showing promises in vain. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Fireman (to Promiskin): And now isn’t it about you? Boy: No! Burattino has appeared on the stage as a lion trainer. There’s the word SUGAR on the box on the lion’s nose. Do-it-yourself has suddenly emerged out of the `lion`. Boy: But this is a…! Fireman: A what? Boy: Never mind! Hurvinek`s playing on many instruments Boy: This is my number! And that one was mine as well! Yes, it is! Fireman: Oh! I see it’s you who is a Promiskin! Boy: Yes, I am! And this number is mine! Fireman: Let’s go! Boy: Where to? I won’t … Fireman: Follow me! Burattino`s performing magic Fireman: Follow me! Boy: I won’t … (The fireman hustled the boy into the stage). Boy: Yes, Promiskin is me! I promise I’ll not only promise anything but also fulfill it! THE END (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
The Club of Merry Little Folks (or: the Merry Little Folks Club) which existed on the pages of the children’s magazine The Merry Comics («Весёлые картинки») and a series of animation cartoons in Russia included as its residents Punch, Pencil, Burattino, Cipollino, Do-it-himself (robot), Hurvínek, Dunno (they`re boys). Sometimes those characters were joined by Thumberlina (she`s an only girl in the Club).
Thumberlina
Thumberlina is Danish, Hurvínek is Czech, Burattino and Cipollino are Italians. Punch is a national in the UK, Italy and Russia, he’s wearing a traditional dress in Russia as he did when he was just a character of the fair’s Muppet shows in Old Russia and his proper name is Petrushka (from `Peter`) in Russia. (Remember Igor Stravinsky, Mikhail Fokin & Wacław Niżyński`s ballet `Petrushka`).
Club of the Merry Little Folks: Punch, Burattino, Hurvínek, Pencil, Dunno (from Nikolai Nosov`s children`s novel), Do-it-yourself
Burattino`s more or less known in the world (Pinocchio), as to Cipollino (Little Onion) from the fairy tale by Gianni Rodari he may need to be introduced.
Russian cartoon `The Adventures of Cipollino` (1961) from Gianni Rodari (Italy) with English subs https://youtu.be/eeD--fwl3BY.
Both Burattino and Cipollino are kind heroes, Russian Burattino is much more milder, kinder and candid if not sillier than his Italian cousin Pinocchio.
From THE SONG OF CIPOLLINO by Samuil Marshak (1968)
I am merry Cipollino
I grew up in Italy.
There ripen olives, plum trees,
Cherries, pears et alias. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Artist Waldemar Kazak (Russia) transformed them into the unpleasant and sinister characters in accordance with spirit of the time (Zeitgeist). Burattino started being identified with the wealthy men in the 90s. Like a hero of the books by Carlo Collodi and Alexei Tolstoy he got suddenly & improbably rich and not occasionaly but due to his illegal activities and corruption. Since then the rich men have been called the rich Burattinos in the colloquial Russian speech. A typical Russian media’s headline: `The rich Burattino creamed his new Ferrari!`(about a paramount oligarch`s overgrown sunny. - AAO)
A Russian idiom come true - we see a pair of the newly rich Russians in the picture by Waldemar Kazak, Burattino (Pinocchio) (from Carlo Collodi) and Cipollino (from Gianni Rodari). Being above taking money in the Soviet time both turned out to be the capitalist predators, omnipotent oligarchs of the capitalist Russian Federation
In another picture by Waldemar Kazak full of Hispanidad we meet the pure Italian motifs and characters again
but mostly in the light of the classical art, of the iconic book by Carlo Collodi (we see Pinocchio and his `dad` Carlo among the other characters on the forefront)
and the iconic picture by Karl Bruellow (Russia) (the artist quotes Bruellow`s picture The Last Days of Pompeii, just note the way the statue fall down on the roof in the background).
The Last Days of Pompeii in the Russian Museum in Moscow
A propos, this painting inspired the hugely successful novel by British author of the 19 c. Edward Bulwer-Lytton who saw it in Rome.
The Secretary of State for War and the Colonies Sir Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton. Portrait by Henry William Pickersgill
Mind that Burattino, a wooden boy, isn’t ready yet, unfinished in the picture by Kazak, therefore it would be logical to assume that the events in it precede their descriptions in the books by Carlo Collodi and Alexei Tolstoy. Anachronism is one of the tropes of that Russian artist, brilliant but, IMHO, rather (or, maybe, if to give him a chance, `still`) perfunctory one if to judge by his creative works on the whole. Another trope he often uses is a deliberate confrontation of the literary and real life images in his picture. O, yeah, baby! Sometimes he reveals a potential of postmodernistic Gustave Doré when he pulls his socks up!
The Glowworm Series #8 – Children`s Animation Cartoon. Director L. Mil`chin, Script Boris Runge, Artist G. Brasiskite, Composer Jan Frenkel
INTRODUCTION Puppy: What’s this? Boy: We going to watch the picture! Animation cartoons! Puppy: Animation cartoons? Boy: Uhu! Puppy: Be quick then!
THE GLOWWORM SERIES #8
MISTER PENCIL GOT ILL The heroes of the Merry Little Folks Club altogether, they are busy working. Mr. Pencil: Oi! Oi! Oi! Thumberlina: All’s clear! He’s ill! Punch: We must give him a cheer! Hurvínek: He’s going to be healthy at once! Mr. Pencil: O-i! Burattino: Let’s smear him with some glue! Do-it-himself: Wrong! Here’s machine oil! He needs to have his gears lubricated! Cipollino: What gears? He’s gearless! We should rub him with onion! That’s what we’ll have to do! Mr. Pencil: O-i! Thumberlina: All you’d offered is of no use! Neither lube nor onion! We must call our district doctor Pillulnik! Yes! Dr. Pillulnik: The patient must be urgently operated on! Puppy: Great doctor! He works miracles! Nicky! Just look! What a strange title this animation has got! What’s this?
THE GIVEBUYPRESENTIA The parents and their child. Child: Gimme! Buy it! Present me! Mom: Something’s wrong with our child! Look at his hand! He’s fine with us in any case but what will he do when he goes to school? Doctor! Doctor! Help! Dr. Pilulnik: Oh! To diagnose this illness is quite easy for me! This is a typical case of the givebuypresentia! Your boy ought to forget three words: Give! Buy! Present! Puppy: Nicky! Does that illness really exist? It does, perhaps, though I’m not sure it’s called like that. Let` watch further!
LITTLE BALLOONS Teddy Bear: Mine’s red! Doll: Mine’s blue! Elephant: Mine’s light blue! Bunny: Bags, mine’s green!
(L`in Chorus) Giraffe-That-Can-See-All-From-Above! Giraffe-That-Can-See-All-From-Above! Giraffe: I’m right on my way! Bunny: I thought giraffes were tall! Teddy Bear: So, mine’s red, yours is light blue, yours is green, yours is orange! Fox: Not too badly! What about me?! Teddy Bear: Wanna have the yellow one? Fox: I want it. And the green one too! Red, light blue and blue! And that very one! I want to have it too! Elephant: How now? Does it mean you want to have got all the little balloons? Fox: I really want `em all! Teddy Bear: Tell you what! I am not going to talk with you! Let’s go, folks! Doll: Oi! Just see! What`s that over there? Bunny (to the doll): First of all, don’t be afraid! Take care of our little balloons! As to the menace we are going to manage it! Giraffe (to the bunny): Why are you trembling? Bunny: I am trembling with anger! Bunny (to the toy crocodile): Hey you! What do you need? Giraffe (seeing a nipple on the crocodile’s tail from above): But it is inflated! Doll: Come here! Quick! Help! Hurry up! The fox is stealing our balloons! (Fox has soared up upwards) All: Oi! Our balloons! Just see! They’re flying away! Fox (startled, bouncing): Oi! Oi! Oi, mommy! I’m afraid of heights, I don’t want it!
Stop it! Oi! I’m not greedy! I’m silly! Why have I taken so many balloons? Mommy! Bunny: Let’s help him! Just a minute! Catch it! THE END
(Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
THE CATA STROPHES (A DEJECTED COLLECTION) The `Murphies&Torch` Publishing House, London, 2016
To Edward Munch (author of the Skrik The Scream))
If you’re by a tram knocked down
No doubt you will scream!
On the third time, no doubt,
You’ll get used to steady stream!
To Federico Fel(l)ini
The world’s entirely all right
If your cat’s sitting by your side.
POSTHUMOUS PAPERS
To Marie-Henri Beyle
Death is so near, death is so far!
Raccoons passed away
But Stendhal’s still alive!
MIDSUMMER DAYDREAM
Next summer if to say you frankly
I’ll do a very trendy thing.
I’ll shave a bumblebee intently.
Let it fly naked, hair-free!
WATERWORLD
By Russia on Mars
After they’d felt real trouble
They turned into vapour `cuz
All People Even Iron-hard
Are made of water.
DAS WAERE BESSER NIE GEBOREN SEIN
IT WOULD BE BETTER NEVER TO BE BORN
To Edgar Allan Poe
It is cold in here. Discomfort.
The abyss of pain! Dark. Fall!
Mr. Stork, bring me back faster!
No, dear, nevermore! Trans. Andrew Alex Owie
KITTY-HAWK
By an unknown author
My cat being not a worthy fella
As it flew off the handle, hell!
Eased nature on my pillow bravely.
Right outa balcony it fell. Trans. Andrew Alex Owie
TO LIVE, SO TO SAY, IS GOOD, BUT TO
LIVE GOOD IS MUCH MORE BETTER
To me myself
Day passed. What was in it?
Have no idea.
It flew by as an arrow.
Albeit usual indeed
It’ll hardly ever break again.
A vain endeavour! Trans. Andrew Alex Owie
NOT THE KINGS AT ALL
To Andrew Lloyd Webber
The true kings are among us,
And they are the ordinary professionals.
THE FUCKINGHAMS
To Sigmund Freud
Theatres in my thoughts.
Brothel’s in my subconscious.
APRES NOUS …
To Noah&Louis XV
Déluge soudain
L’oiseau trouvera de quoi
Étancher sa soif
The sudden Deluge.
A bird will soon find
Where to quench its thirst. Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie
CHARON, BE BETTER SHARON!
To Theodore Dreiser
Will you walk into my boat?
Charon, stop! Don’t play the goat!
I wish I went off to the sea
To dip my bottom into it.
JOHNLENNONESQUE-HUMORESQUE
To John Lennon
Jacqueline no longer dances her two-step,
She got up on the wrong side of the bed
And fell into a trap. Poor thing! Too bad!
L'art défie le temps
The art challenges time
But time is stronger.
The father can’t become the child.
To Légion étrangère
J`avais un camarade,
De meiller il n`en est pas.
Dans la paix et dans la guerre
Nous allions comme deux fréres.
I had a true companion
The best of friends in need.
At war, at peace like a stanchion
He was for me indeed. Trans. Andrew Alex Owie
POLITICS, OR NEW MACHIAVELLI
To Nicolas Boileau-Despréaux
Do not condemn unlucky persons
For actions of their foolish friends.
Remember Judah! Can we cast a stone
At folks whose friendship he betrayed?
The friends at hearts may be the traitors,
Their tricks spring as a big surprise.
Idealist, you’re well-mannered,
But they may leave no room for an emprise.
If you abuse you friend, you’ll get a foe,
If you embrace your foe, he’ll give you a faint chance.
Friends are as always unreliable as the ice-floes,
It’s hard to catch what friendship is for at once.
Befriend the smart ones, since a stupid fella
Is oft more dangerous than foe that’s clever. Trans. Andrew Alex Owie
BELLE`S AMI, OR AGEING BUT INCORRGIBLE BEL-AMI
Plagiarism from Pauline Sibagatullina
Days fly,
My years elapse.
I say to belles more often:
`Yes!`
THE FRAIL GRAIL
To Dan Brown
Back to the Future,
Forward to the Past
This is the least,
But this is not last.
What’s in a name? The Holy Saint Grail?!
Par Felix Leclerc LE VERBE AIMER
Le verbe Aimer pèses des tonnes.
Des tonnes de chagrins, de joies, d'inquiétudes, de chair, de sang, de dotes, d'extrases et de cris.
Ne le fuis pas.
Le verbe NE PAS AIMER, pèse encore plus lourd.
Jeanner Moreuax: `Your age won`t save you from love. But love will save you from your age!`
By Felix Leclerc THE VERB `TO LOVE`
The verb `to love` weighs tonnes.
Tonnes of sorrows, joys, concerns, flesh, blood, admiration, excessiveness and cries.
But do not escape.
The verb `not to love` weighs still more. Trans. Andrew Alex Owie
IT SEEMS A PITY TO MISS SUCH A GOOD PUDDING (A SUN(-)DRY COMIC)
FOLKS! I`VE GOT A LIGHTER FOR YOU! The Behavioural Standards and Etiquette in the Prehistoric Society
ACTIVE SERVICE IN THE ARMY OF REPUBLIC OF CALIFORNIA. Moscow, Military Publishing House, 1938. (Past in the Future? - AAO)
M.G. Red`kin `How to go through the flood using the walking boat fitted with wheels` (Boat, halt! One-two!)
Hungry Mermaid. Positive sides of being a mermaid: 1) mensal-free 2) pants are of no use 3) ability to decoy and sink men.
THE USE OF ELKS IN THE WORKERS&FARMERS` RED ARMY CAVALRY UNITS. Military Specialists Training Course. Theory & Practice. Moscow, Military Publishing House, People`s Commissariat of Defence, 1934
HOW TO BLOCK THE HOLE IN THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM. Handbook for the intelligence agents camouflaging in the bushes
THE HEAVY TANK. Walk-up building delivery manual. Military Publishing House, People’s Commissariat of Defence. Moscow, 1941
Sometimes reality is much richer than the irrepressible fantasy and joke!
So as the Russian are used to say: `Every joke has got just a little bit of joke`! They seem to be quite right, I s`pose! Paraphrasing Lady Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham from Downton Abbey (whose maxims mostly belong to Maggie Smith herself (British actress with a God-given talent which maxims are used by me as the banner words in the current post)), I’d say: `Joke is a tease designed to prevent us accepting reality!`
Another example: THE ASSAULT COCATRICE OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS. Moscow, Military Publishing House, People`s Commissariat of Defence, 1940
1958, Edith Piaf, singer & Bruno Cocatrix, impresario at her last performance at the Olympia
A very strange painting: `Were you ever so angry that you couldn’t help striking the woman biting your nipple with a baby?`
Rimbaud – Rambo
SPAGETTI EASTERN?
Wilhelm Busch. How to impress the lady with the help of two invisible dogs. The Octopussy Publishing House
Why books are regularly set on fire? Thomas Mann`s explanation: `Today’s books are tomorrow’s actions`
Autumn! Fall! But not for Mona Lisa! She`s been taking cover in the South Asia (Indostan Peninsula) since the end of Indian summer in the Northern Hemisphere this year. The diva of the French-Italian descent (like Gaia Germani, for instance) felt the urge to fall out of the samsara of the changes of the seasons for some time. The stock caprice of a woman and superstar. Besides it`s that very trademark grim of the international cheerleader that binds, obliges, calls the principal heroine of the world to remain mysterious and never ever to explain her acts let alone to account for them! Tut-tut!
TOURs DE FORCE OF CLOWNS, JESTERS & JOKERS IN A DOWNTOwN`S BACKSTREETS
`Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,//Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.` Joe Egan, Gerry Rafferty
On the poster: Oleg Dahl (Russia) & Jüri Järvet (Estonia) - Shakespeare`s King Lear
FROM RUSSIA WITH LAUGH-TER:
The Histrionics (Лицедеи) - The Blue Canary
THE 1st CIRCUS: STYLIST & THE RUSSIAN WOMAN, OR WILL YOU WALK INTO MY PARLOUR?
An ordinary Russian village woman dropped in a Moscow`s trendy hairdressing salon
Acting by Tatiana Morozova (Woman) and Alexandre Goodkov (Stylist) from THE COMEDY WOMAN (Moscow)
Stylist (over the phone): ... just fancy I cut his hair, cut, cut, cut, turned around and started cutting again, I cut, cut, cut his hair until I felt my hands was about to wither and drop ... I`d never seen so much hair in anybody’s nostrils before .. yes, yes, such was that Dagestani centenarian! Yes, awesome! The real hairy Sayan Mountains in his nose! Oh, my God! ... Sorry, over and out! Chuck! Chuck! Someone`s visited our Purgatory! Woman: Hi-i-i! S: Hi-i-i! Keep away from me! W: The same to you! All the best, Sir! ... Haven’t I been mistaken I wonder? Is it a right door and am I in a hairdresser’s for sure?
S: A what-what-what? W: Have I pulled the right door, I wonder! Ain`t it a hairdre ... S: Hush, lady! Hush! That word is very-very dirty! Even The Scissor Sisters stopped singing on the radio! Hai-rr-ddd-re-sss-er`s! It`s a spa salon, fashionable beauty parlour, Toni&Guy! Sit down! Glad to meet you, my name’s Sashka The Goldsmith! W: If you were a goldsmith you woulda hardly worked in a hairdresser’s! S: But si-i-i-lence! I wish I could cut off your lustful little tongue! Have you been eating stones? W: What are you doing? S: Making you up to standard, yeti! How hairy you are, Muzzy! Wanna eat my little wrist watch, eh? Well then, I mean, slash! slash! slash! A-ha! How’d you like to have your hair cut?
W: What have you done? I just wanted to have it trimmed not a dick! S: Then what’s that, what d`ya think? The central part of your head`s hair is not a dick?! Like a coppice! Regret not a dick! I’ll take my dick there’ll be many clever Dicks ahead in your life! ... Your hair… O my God! Well then! Where to start? (in gibberish English) Deap emotion! Emotion! Cleaning about meaning! W: What-what? S: I gonna wash you head! Clear? I say, how long haven’t you been washing your head, eh? W: I’d washed it the day before yesterday. S: Tell me again, I can't get over it! I’ve just discovered a travel ticket there, it expired two weeks ago. W: That’s not a ticket but my mom’s charm, a talisman to protect me on the road! S: (touching his penis behind the woman’s back ) Here’s a talisman! Your charm seems to be not protecting you properly. I can see a little desert on the top of your head, and then what is this? ... a fontanel and some blue spots. As if a planet view from orbit! Who knows what if there’s life on that planet! (about himself) What a disgusting laughter! W: Stop it! My hair is normal! S: Normal?! It’s my hair that’s normal! There, there! Touch it! Ted the hay! Haven’t you felt your orgasm yet?!
W: Look here, mister! My husband likes my hair! S: Just fancy! Her husband likes her hair! What will he snort after vodka if you have your head washed in here? W: Perhaps I gotta go now! S: Where to? Stop it! None has managed to leave Sasha The Goldsmith being unsatisfied so far! Well then, well then... Here I am to do that ... Slash! There I’ll do this ... Please don’t fidget! Or else you have to walk with a symmetric haircut like a fool all right! Well then, well then ...Slash! Now without scissors...Sla-a-a-sh! I happened to come across such an unyielding one! Eyebrows? Leave them intact! Now little haircutting machine! O my Lord! This is the best I’d ever seen! Eff me! Are you ready for that? For seeing yourself in fashion? You dolly girl! We-e-e-ll! Of course, it’s a little bit funny for your civic stand but... my own concept of an ideal haircut for the modern urban community came true to the full extent! Well, how? W: Tut! You damn terrible whoreson! S: I ain't done nothing bad! W: Where’s my hair? S: You see, lady! It`s been coming out of itself! It has not what to do at the rear of your head! Like that doll Cindy has got!
W: You German clown in leggings! My mother’s celebrating a jubilee tomorrow. How will I appear with such a hairdo in her presence?! S: You can leave your hat on! Many may have their hats on there! W: Hat?! S: Hat! Have your hat on! W (grasping him between his legs) : The hat that I gonna dress from your arse! S: (with his voice transforming from falsetto to baritone): I wonder what you have done? You must have switched on something there right now! You are a right eye opener for me! I say, lady, eff me if I’m wrong, I feel I want you! Wow! Now I see your little tits there! And a nice little bottom’s present too! W (briskly fleeing): Good Gracious! Mistaken identity or what? S: Mistaken? Where to? THE END (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Joe Cocker - You Can Leave Your Hat On
COMMENTS Dagestani centenarian a long-liver, highlander from Dagestan (Russia). The Caucasus shepherds living high in the mountains, breathing fresh air, eating lamb, drinking red wine are the persons remarkable for health and longevity. Sayan Mountains in Siberia, Russia The Scissor Sisters is a blue-pink pop band
Toni&Guy the famous British Hairdressing& Haircare Network (50 years old TM) Sashka The Goldsmith Sashka=Sasha=Alexandre (there are also Shoorka, San`ka, Sanya) Yeti Bigfoot Muzzy a shaggy character from animation of The Muzzy in Gondoland: `I am Big Muzzy!!!`
snort after vodka if you haven’t got anything to eat after vodka or you don’t want to eat you have to sniff the head of your drinking companion, etc. Of course, it`s a figure of speech, metaphor. Doll Cindy from the Barbie&Ken series
You German clown in leggings! word of `German` means not an ethnic German, but a stranger, foreigner, someone speaking the not articulate speech. In original nemets (niemec), a common word for all Slavonic languages which originally meant a mute person. In the context of the sketch the heroine means a funny (startling, unusual) stranger, foreign to her nature, urban, not rural person.
A Britisher wearing the coolest, balls-freezing metal meggins (male leggins) on a frosty bright winter day
… hat that I gonna dress from your arse … The woman remembered the colloquial expression that reads a little hat made from the little simian arses being usually attached to the tasteless lady's hats. Once in an elevator I saw a woman having a special hat on, her hat was with a leather top and furry brims and having remembered the Russian expression I couldn’t help laughing.
Stylists & ballet dancers if they are men are considered to be blue in Russia. And very often they really are though not all, of course.
Actor Alexandre Goodkov mimics and imitates the typical behaviour of a mannered and pretentious Moscow stylist in a slightly exaggerated form. Actor Alexandre Goodkov the second man admitted to the Comedy Woman, that women only theatrical company.
By the way, he is a co-owner of a network of the prestigious Moscow spa salons and beauty shops for men only (neither is a hairdresser’s) situated in the Moscow downtown. Actress Tatiana Morozova has got a dramatic type of the ordinary Russian village woman in the Comedy Club, a simpleton, sometimes Voltaire`s Candide or André Raimbourg`s Bourvil in petticoats. She’s an only enigma in the Comedy Club for me as I can’t imagine her in the real life. There’s a great distance between her & her character.
Both actors are also a classical, clownish archetype, a couple made up of the red (circus) clown, simple, silly, kind and white clown, spiteful, gloating, intelligent, so to say a duet of Bim & Bom (Tim&Tom).
Astrud Gilberto (Brazil) Bim Bom
But unlike the classical masks the characters played by the modern actors sometimes exchange their lines, dramatic types.
Tesla Boy, Nothing. This music video is a Chekhov`s gun (`If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one it should be fired`) hung on the wall (we write on walls in the WWW, after all) and is to be fired in the play to follow below. The matter is how and in what way it’s to be fired, maybe as a night fireworks? O!
THE 2nd CIRCUS: GLAMOUR PHOTOGRAPHER & THE RUSSIAN WOMAN, OR BLOW UP
An ordinary Russian village woman dropped in a Moscow trendy photographer's studio to have her passport approved photograph taken for travelling abroad with her lord and master.
Acting by Tatiana Morozova (Woman) and Alexandre Goodkov (photographer) from THE COMEDY WOMAN (Moscow) https://youtu.be/LPzXm3MTURc
PHOTOGRAPHER: Oh! WOMAN: Wanna have my picture taken. Yeah! PH: Hi-i-i, h-i-i! Whom are we meeting now in here, eh? A Scandinavian model? No, I’m wrong. Who you, who you? Chytrie, zlobnie? (corrupt Polish words `chytra, zlosliwa`, i.e. sly, wicked). No! What if you are an owner of a showroom? Or are you an Indy rocker from a pub? Who you, who you, who you? Can you be a porcupine? W: Nope! PH: No-ope! I haven’t heard the word `Nope` in downtown for ages! What is you name, you nihilist? W: I’m Tanya Khutsistova! PH: Ta-nya Khu-tsistova! Ah! Alexei Beloruchev (lit. Workshy-ev)! (stretching his hand which is kissed by the woman) Sheer schizo! Ha-ha-ha! Well, Tanya Khutsitova! Show me your emotion in front of my Cannon! W: I really should, should I? PH: Naturally! C`mon, Tanya Khutistova! Come on, come on! ... But what are you doing now? W: I am being photographed! PH: You should have warned me, Tanya Khutsitova! Well, stop! Had you been to make-up yet? W: Yes, I’d been to Maikop (Maikop a city in Southern Russia). PH: I mean if you had been reclining in the chair of Vlad`s make-up artist studio? W: That bearded one who squeezed my head and pawed on me? PH: Who? Vlad? A-ha-ha-ha! He was a baby asking his mother’s breast when he pestered a woman last time!
Photo by Katya Vereshchagina
W: Is he blue or anything? PH: Who? Vlad? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-! Ye-e-ep! Now then, Tanya Khutsitova, open your mouth with astonishment! Just imagine, you’re on a roof in Peter (St. Petersburg). You’ve just abandoned by the frontman of The Tesla Boy! Or: You’ve switched on your Mac and it’s been hung! Ouch! W: What `s it been? PH: I see you’re out of vogue! W: Can you really see I’m topless behind my blouse? PH: Tanya Khutsitova! Are you a whore in addition, are you? W: You know... PH: Stop, forget it! I know what can help you relax! Vlad! The sixth track of the The Night's Aegis Collection quick! (to the woman) A fresh lounge never hurt anyone! Tanya Khutsitova, creep up my leg! C’mon, you an asp ... you’re a Brazilian asp! There's never a dull moment! Tanya Khutsitova! W: I say, can you simply take a picture of me instead! PH: Alexei Beloruchev can hardly `simply take a picture of anyone`! So do creep! W: Listen, you possessed one! Simply take picture of me I could simply go! PH: Where to, where will you go, you Orthodox freak! Where to-o-o?
Photo by Katya Vereshchagina
W: Generally speaking, to the market place first of all. To buy vegetables! Then I gonna buy several pig tails in a vendor kiosk! To cook the borsch! After returning home I gonna break the eggs into the yesterday’s macaroni and cook the borsch all the way. By then my husband will have come, very tired after two work shifts, he is a driver of a concrete mixer. He’ll have eaten my borsch and drunk little vodka I’ll have had poured out to him, he’ll have felt very kind, hugged me and started making love with me right in our kitchen! And it’ll have come right time to tell him that we can’t go to Turkey just because a disgusting stinker deprived me of a passport approved photograph for travelling abroad! He’ll have come in here to find you, taken your Cannon and put it into your fucking Macintosh! Have you understood it? PH: (growing sober, precise and serious): Please, ma`am, move your little chin to the left a little bit! Now your nice smile: Cheers! Aha! Like that exactly! Your photo is to be ready tomorrow! You are welcome back! Aha! THE END (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Actor Alexandre Goodkov with the not disappearing bust of Voltaire, without a slave market and not in St. Petersburg (Missouri, USA) together with Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn & Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto Dalí i Domènech, Marqués de Dalí de Pubol
COMMENTS The Tesla Boy a Russian electric pop band singing in English. The electropistol has fired! Chekhov, are you glad?
Tesla Boy - Spirit Of The Night
Blow Up Michelanghelo Antonioni
a Michelangelo Antonioni (Italy) film on a young photographer (played by actor David Hemmings, UK)
David Hemmings
in the background of London in the 60s (mixed art house and atmospheric detective).
Blow-Up Trailer 1966 Extended Version
The Blow Up was based on a short story Las babas del diablo (The Devil's Drool) by Julio Cortázar (the Argentine) who wrote it under the impression of an Alfred Hitchcock film Rear Window which in its turn was based on a short story It Had to Be Murder by Cornell Woolrich.
Julio Cortázar & Cornell Woolrich
As you can guess all the title characters of those movies and stories were the photographers. Circus!
THE 3rd CIRCUS: A NERD TO PULL UP HIS CLASSMATE`S CHEMISTRY
Actress Natalie Medvedeva with her head reminding of a mini-replica of that of Sigourney Weaver beside the Union Jack on the chairback and in the background of Norma Jeane Mortensons`scarlet lips
Girl (a classmate and heavy metal rocker): Wow! A cool flat! Let’s arrange a den here? Ah! Forget! Don’t be scared shitless! Boy (overachiever, home environment): Be kind to take slippers! Mom has vacuumed all recently. Girl: I don’t care for slippers as a true individual. Unlike you, you drab rank`n`file nerd! Boy: Nastya! I insist on your having slippers on! Girl: Do not call me Nastya! I’m Nit! Boy: It can’t be your family name. Girl: But it can be my nickname! Yesterday I was addressed like that in the entrance. Got anything to eat? Boy: Yes, mom has served us with bread and sturgeon! Girl: Not tasty! Well, then... gonna learn chemistry or what? There are more interesting things than chemistry! Up to you! Boy: Chemistry Girl: Have you got 700 rubles? Boy: To chip in on the school curtains? Girl: If only! Cottage Cheese almost hanged himself yesterday. He missed the loop & broke his leg so we had to collect money to pay for a plaster. Boy: I’ll consult my mom. Girl: Mom?! How do you think I call my mom? I call her by name, Xena! In any way she only gave birth to me, nothing more! Boy: Nit! Girl: Yeah! Boy: Did you read the chapter on valence of the heavy metals? Girl: Nope! Yesterday we abused rappers in the forest! Wanna to be taught to sing in a growling style? Boy: What’s it like? (the girl is demonstrating) Girl: Look, I’ve composed a song! Are you a cool cat with the robust nerves? Boy: Sooner a normal one with the ordinary ones. Girl: Never mind. Just listen: There lived an ordinary mole
It had got no blood in its hole.
It wasn’t cruel, it only ate leaves
Until it tasted a piece of fresh meat.
There’s dark in the mole’s head
It was by the grave-maker tamed.
Its psychics was weak.
A half of a dog was by it eaten.
La-a-a-! There are cities ahead! Boy: Let me better fill in your school record book! Girl: I’ve got no school record book; I set in on fire ... with a dove! Do you know that female chemistry teacher has got no panties on? Boy: Nonsense! Girl: Just look! Boy: What’s this? Girl: Her panties. I wear them now! To be short, you Harvard, start teaching me! Boy: Why Harvard at once? I prefer the MGIMO (Moscow State Institute of International Relations https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moscow_State_Institute_of_International_Relations) Girl: As to me I’ll become an expensive prostitute in the Intourist Hotel. I think my international relations will be concluded earlier than those of yours. Ha! Boy: But you are not like you want to seem, I know it! Girl: Me is not like that? It’s you who is not like that. Me is not like that? It’s you who is not like that!
Me is not like that? It’s you who is not like that! Fuck! Clear? Can you kiss, by the way? I’d been living with the married man for 2 years. Then I felt sick and tired, called my dad, he came and killed him. My dad is a policeman. Boy: Last time you said he was a criminal. Girl: I’ve got two. A policeman and a criminal, and, just note, the first put under arrest the second! To be short, let’s dance because it is getting so dull in here that I gonna cut me veins. Boy: Better not please! Girl: Why not? Give way to your hang-ups? Still trust all your mother says? Boy: Yes! Girl: She must have said she loved you! You must be feeling shy of your pimples. Boy: Mom explains it’s a common problem of all teenagers. Girl: I just knew! To be short, switch it on! (growling): Oi! Someone’s buried! Oi! Boy: Listen, Nit! Girl: What? Boy: I like you. Girl: Are you... (the boy is giving her a single kiss)
Damn! Are you insane? Crazy or what? Damn! What to do now? What if I get a baby after that? (she is sobbing and running away!) Boy: Nit! I’ll be an excellent father! THE END (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Voltaire - Future Ex Girlfriend (Lyrics)
Aurelio Voltaire Hernández, known by the mononym Voltaire,
is a Cuban-American dark cabaret musician https://www.youtube.com/user/VoltaireMusicPage. Strictly speaking the guy is much more American rather than Cuban. Jim Carrey as a character of the Mask was million times more Latin boy than really excellent but strictly American singer Voltaire is. And he`s not a Voltaire at all. Sooner dressed-up American Candide singing its plaintive as the boundless plains country songs. No sparkles, where are fireworks of the Latin art? They must have been left behind the fence, in Mexico or off Cuba. I like him as well as I love sunny Cuban Pete! This character is the very light, laughter and joy at the least as it was classically (i.e. for all times as an artistic standard) portrayed by Jim Carrey who can play both red and white clowns equally brilliant and even at once! He did that `at once` in the Mask and the Me, Myself & Irene. His Cableman, the immoral sinister, dangerous white clown has not not been estimated as it deserves so far! Why? Not all the clowns are only on stage or on screen. They mostly come from the real life! They are us!
CUBAN PETE, OR SUN PEDRO
Jim Carrey - Cuban Pete - Evergreen Hit, Masterpiece Scene from the Mask (1994)
In its turn the starting point for this scene was a scene from the I Love Lucy (Season 1 Episode 3 The Diet), an American sitcom of the 50s of the 20 c.
Ricky & Lucy, fictional characters portrayed respectively by Desi Arnaz & Lucille Ball, acting as Cuban Pete & Sally Sweet in that scene of the I Love Lucy (acting in acting!)
Desi Arnaz & Lucille Ball
It’s Desi Arnaz & Lucille Ball who made this tune popular in the USA in the 50s as Jim Carrie did it popular in the world in the 90s. Even in The Mumbo Kings (1992) this song was not the central number, there was just a brilliant instrumental interpretation of it!
`Cuban Pete` in an Arne Glimcher film The Mambo Kings (1992)
The part of Desi Arnaz in that French-American drama from Oscar Hijuelos' 1989 Pulitzer Prize-winning novel The Mambo Kings Play Songs of Love was played by his son, Desi Arnaz, Jr.
Jean Yarbrough and Joseph Norman (José Norman)
Still even before the I Love Lucy and The Mumbo Kings, in 1941, in the USA, there was shot a Jean Yarbrough film starring Desi Arnaz and The King Sisters, including young Marquita Rivera. The title of the musical comedy was … `Cuban Pete`!
`Cuban Pete` (1941) with Noro Morales, Tito Puente, Marquita Rivera
Now who on Earth was that very Cuban Pete? We’ve seen him as a fictional character so far. Yet there were two sources of this personage in the real life.
Pedro 'Cuban Pete' Aguilar
The real man nicknamed like that, Mambo legend, Mambo King Pedro `Cuban Pete`Aguilar, and the same name song composed by José Norman. Just notice, the man wanted to be a Latin composer and changed his name for José. He made me remember the character played by Stanley Tucci (Mr. Link) in the Shall We Dance.
A bald and spectacled Jewish clerk in a dull real-estate office pretended to be a Latin dancer and while wearing wig and other articles of the make-up he was perfoming in this image nights.
He turned out to be a long-haired Latino Macho with the black sparkling eyes.
Unfortunately, he was by chance `exposed` by the hero played by Richard Gere, another bored Estate Lawyer, his colleague. `In revenge` for this Link tempted Gere`s hero into dancing!
By the way, the face of Gere is a face of Punch. And it couldn`t help attracting hearts.
The same face of Punch has got another famous actor from Japan, Takeshi Kitano. As you know the film Shall We Dance (USA) is based on the same name Japanese film. Which is better?
Clifford (1994) - Quotable Lines
Both are the very bestest, as my fellow Clifford (portrayed by Martin Hayter Short) is used to say!
Poster of the Shall We Dance? and Stanley Tucci
I think that Mr. Tucci could play José Norman if there were shot a film about him.
Cuban Pete was Pedro Aguilar (1927-2009), an outstanding American dancer born in Puerto Rico, `the greatest Mambo dancer ever` by `Life` magazine
As to the tune it was composed in 1936 in the USA by Joseph Norman under the name of José Norman.
Bert Ambrose's Orchestra plays Cuban Pete , singer is Evelyn Dall. The record dated back to June 10th, 1936.
Evelyn Dall
The song acquired a great success and a year later attracted attention of young Louis Armstrong.
Louis Armstrong had the Cuban Pete recorded in 1937
In 1946 the Cuban Pete was released with Desi Arnaz & Amanda Lane`s vocals. Desi Arnaz Sr. had been known as `Cuban Pete` since than too.
`Cuban Pete` sung by Desi Arnaz & Amanda Lane
Amanda Lane, an American actress and singer, performed in the Desi Arnaz and His Orchestra (1946) and Sing While You Dance (1946). She was a vocalist of Desi Arnaz`s band http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0485227/. To find her photo in the WWW is useless but everyone asks who sang that song so beautifully. She easily eclipsed that Desi in that record though unlike him she became unknown. Many, many stars and celebrities of nowadays will be forgotten while the other, not famous actors and actreses wil be the asked-fors and learned by the then PhDs in their fucking terrible Universities. Success is a product of the personal connections and charm, lifemanship and not always has anything to do with the artistic genius and achievements. To combine both savoir-vivre and talent plus to enjoy a faithful luck as the third essential component of every single successs is a desitiny of fewer artistes. The American philosophy of success has deprived the USA of many geniuses. There are a lot of the art and entertainment in that great country but there is no understanding of what the true art is all the way there. Park amusements, great attractions, complacency, assignment of the false geniuses, beaus and beauties. Commercial Circus! Eternal Barnum! (who was at least the genial (in all modern and outdated meanings of this word) producer).
Excellent cinema clowns Cheech (actor Cheech Marin) and Chong (actor Thomas Chong) in company with Cheechchong Lisa!
Quite forgot! Teachers and pupils of the music school from Noyabrsk City in Russia also performed the famous tune of the Cuban Pete song as a piece of a symphonic music (conducted by Vasiliy Podlesny). Cuban Pete became an international phenomenon, now he is Global Pete.
The show in Noyabrsk was opened by `Cuban Pete`
You may inquire the reason I defined three plays above as the three circuses. Why not, after all? I remembered the same name feature film shot by Charles Chaplin, it symbolism being revealed in the final scene. This idea seemed to me to be the consolidating one, emprasing (embracing, of course, sorry for a sudden German accent) a variety of meanings of the current post without words and even subs.
Symbolic Ending of The Circus - Charlie Chaplin - 1928
THE CLOWNS IN THE CIRCUS OF LIFE WHICH IS BITTER AND GAY
THE CLOWNS (an episode from the Carnival Night (1956), Russia)
Producer: Well, now let’s hear the artistic account of our clowns! Tim: Hi, Tom! Tom: Hi, Tim! Tim: Where are you, Tom? Tom: I’m here! Tim: Hi, Tom! Tom: Hi! Tim: Do tell me, Tom! Why are you crying? Tom: Tom, you know, I am getting married! Tim: Congrats! Congrats! And your bride too! Tom: Hush! Silence! For Christ’s sake, tell her not a word! Tim: Why then? Tom: Because she hasn’t known about this yet! Tim: How come?! Tom: Because I’m marrying quite the other girl! Producer: One minute, comrades! That's past praying for! How’s that, you are going to marry and sob! It’s improbable in general! (to the white clown) What water is flowing from your handkerchief? Tim: It’s tears! Tom: He is wringing emotions from himself like that! Producer: Comrades, dear! How long would you have to sob before some water could flow out of a handkerchief?! And then, be kind not to kiss him! This makes a dual impression! Tim: Sorry, but I think, comrade director ... you’re incompletely .... Producer: Completely! You are stating that your bride is unaware of your marrying the other girl. It’s not good! She must be notified. It’s your duty to make her know! Tim: You really think so? But that’s the whole point! The humour! Tom: The point!!! Producer: Can I help it if it`s the point? And, this is what, what names do you address each other? Tim: Clowns` names! Tim and Tom! Tom: This is but a tradition! Producer: Comrades-comrades, excuse me but you are the adult ones! Have you got your family names? Tim & Tom: We’ve got `em. Producer: So use your family names, and don`t shed tears any more. And ... how to put it better? Be more invigorating! Chop-chop! Tim: Comrade director ... Tell you what! Tom: Kol` (vocative case from Kolya, Nick, Nicholas): Just don’t go on! Tim: Marusia! (informal for Maria, Mary) Ha-ha-ha! Tom: Hi, Sidorov! Tim: Hi, Nikolayev! Tom: Sidorov, be kind to inform me about the reason of your joy! Tim: I am happy because I’m getting married! Tom: Congrats for you and your bride! Tim: Gonna go and notify her to make her happy that I am getting married quite the other girl! Tom: Marusia! Producer: One minute, comrades! Just a minute! Something has gone absurdly wrong! If he’s got his bride why he`s marrying the other girl?
Tim: But therein lay the component of satire ... Tom: That is the matter! Producer: What kind of matter indeed? Tom: That kind of matter that he is a frivolous person deceiving his bride! Producer: Who? Sidorov?! Tim: Oh sure! Producer: Thus, he has been morally decomposed or what? Tim: Indeed! Producer: Then why do you congratulate him? Tim: How don’t you understand ... Tom: Kolya, don’t get torqued! Producer: If a person has been morally decomposed he should be told about this inambiguoiusly! This is not a reason for joking, so to say! (to Tim) You’ve got a ridiculous appearance, Sir! (playfully, curiously bouncing Tim`s necktie for a little) ... So, comrades, be serious, go on stage being dressed in a human way, in the accepted manner. And come to a head immediately! Put a question point-blank! Come on, comrades, I’ve got little time. Do it quick! Tim: Kolya, don’t ! (an actor to an actress)
Would you be so kind as to play up to me? Seraphim Ivanovich asked me to learn the part in a dramatization of a fable.... Actress: What fable? Actor: He asked me to choose one, but I don’t know which one to choose! Actress: What if I am your partner on stage? Actor: I’ll be much obliged. Actress: I’ll drop in soon, right? Actor: Right! (Actor`s played by Sergei Mikhalkov, a famous Russian children`s author and fabulist, he`s the father of Oscar winner film director Nikita Mikhalkov and Andron Mikhalkov-Konchalovsky). Tim and Tom are coming on stage dressed in suits as officials Tim: Comrades! Unfortunately, sometimes in our environment there are cases of a frivolous attitude to the marriage and family life! Tom: We declare point-blank that (l` in chorus) this foul practice is absolutely intolerable any more! Tim: Under no circumstances, of course! Producer: This is the goods! Now you’re talking! Well, accepted, comrades. THE END (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
MERRY GRAVEDIGGERS, OR POOR YORICK`S ENTERTAINERS
I began with Shakespeare’s King Lear, Fool and the King going on a fool, so it would be nice to finish the performance with William Shakespeare as well. What play will fit? Hamlet. Oh no-no, I do not want to say that Hamlet is a clown. The clowns in the drama are grave-makers; they’re literally defined by Shakespeare as the Clowns! They’re singing clowns but the directors throughout the world often offer the actors to perform the songs that are absent in the Shakesperean text. Those ad-libbings, or to be exact, the `thunk` improvisations, or to be even exacter, inventions are sometimes successful sometimes not. The churchyard scene in `Hamlet` is an integral part of the play and inset gag at once. The invented song of the Clowns (grave-makers) in the following Russian interpretation of the scene is much brighter by its contents and performance than an unexpressive acting itself. IMHO, of course!
V. Savinov Drama Theatre, 2011. The song sung by the Clowns in the scene (starts from 3:47)
The scene starts as it’s supposed to be begun: the 1st&2nd Clowns (Act V Scene I. A churchyard Enter Two Clowns, with Spades, & c.), but then it’s a little bit abridged as Horatio appears right from the words: Hamlet: ... Whose grave's this, sirrah?. The lyrics of the Clowns` song are as follows:
Far, far, faraway up above there
There is the fool’s paradise rule.
Where all the old people are rich
And all kids haven’t to go to school.
The cigars grow out of roses
And chocolate grows on the palms! The passed away, youngsters and oldsters
They don’t want to get back to us.
There flow the rivers of brandy
There glitter the lakes of champagne!
And ducks fried and juicy are ready
To fly to your table in train.
(Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
MONA LISA: I AM SUCH A BITCH WHEN I AM TIPSY AND IF I AM BLUE!
TELL WHO`S YOUR DRINKING COMPANION ...
To master English is quite easy
They ask you `Why!`
You say `Because!`
They ask to join them for drinking.
The right word is for it: `Of course!`
(Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Alcohol`s unhealthy, but, shit!, jolly!
OKTOBERFEST BLUES
Sometimes you feel so bloody queer
That you can’t drink a cup of tea!
The only remedy is beer
And drops of vodka in it! Gee!
(Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
FLOWERCLOCK, OR HAND UP
A remedy for those who`s misled by the floral beauty in a flowerbed
Baby, your eyes are intense blue
Like blue cornflowers in a field,
But you can’t screw me, that`s true:
Half past 5 on your dial indeed.
(Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
LISA DI GIOCA`S JOKEKUS: IBIZA
A jolly weightlifter
Will fall in love
At the foam party.
(Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
BRANDY`S ALWAYS TRENDY
Having not found his ideal
The retired Brigadier
General will knock back little brandy.
(Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
TEACH IN THE DITCH
Ironically grinning
A spectacled school mistress
Gonna be dead drunk.
(Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
CLOWNISH FOR SKYPE
The famous ex-Soviet clown
Did his lady-friend`s bed and
Made his announcement in Skype.
(Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
CLOWN`s TRICKS
When off in the race
A stranger under the mask of a clown
Will delete the unnecessary files.
(Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
IN PLACE OF PROFESSION DE FOI (IF I`D GOT IT!)
P.S. The text of the Clowns` song in the Hamlet may seem awkward and clumsy without the melody which it follows. Lyrics are often like that, lyrics of the troubadours, trouvers and minnesingers (like me! – Tee-hee!). As to the texts of mine on the whole they ar just the single rhymed poems in verse and prose, long poems full of the controversial, contesting, ambiguous meanings and notions being rhymed in conformity with their intrinsic logic and Universal non-casual connection to create harmony of words, colours, forms, mistakes (aesthetics of disappearing mistakes, slips, etc.) and senses (not always common ones). Ask the author if he understands what he writes and he`ll hardly be able to answer. Respond, dude! No return in response! How to understand people without subs? Call the clowns! It`s desirable that they come in series. See the beginning of the text! All over again! Circus forever! And everywhere!
By Oleg Mikhailov
My right hand’s having my cat’s belly,
My left hand’s squeezing my girl’s tit!
Not that I’ve reached pink of perfection,
But I’ve edged towards a brink of it. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
BEASTLY BEAUTIFUL, OR BEAUTY IN THE BEAST
Beware of the Modern 2. Sergei Rost (plays Irena, 1st Member of the Jury, Guy on Motorcycle, Nina Zadova, Mother) and Dmitry Nagiyev (he plays Father, Sergeant Zadov, Tanya, Yulia, Pasha, 2nd Member of the Jury). https://youtu.be/xj4K5BjLfCI
IT`S LUCK, NOT LOOKS THAT COUNTS!
Irena: Hi, I’m Ira Golubkova! This photograph seems to be the only one where I am almost not plump and even seem to be attractive. Until I’m five years old, my Daddy was still able to lift me but unfortunately he never used this opportunity. As to my Mom, I hardly remember her, maybe this very fragment... Mother(baby talking): Ootie-pootie, ootie … Oi! (waving her hand) Good gracious! Whom on earth did you take after, so ugly? Irena: I also took interest in after whom, since in vicinity of many kilometres from our house there were only the taiga and bears. That’s why our Mom must have escaped from us when an opportunity presented itself with the first passer-through geologist. Mother: I am an artistic personality, what Hollywood needs is me! You are to hear about me some day! Irena: Since then I’ve never heard anything about my mom! She must have reached Hollywood. As to my Dad, he was strong and brisk; he was fond of me a great deal but never expressed his love. Daddy, am I beautiful? Father: Ha! Ha-ha-ha! On the other hand, daughter, tastes differ! They do! Besides, beauty means nothing for a woman! What? You say I hit in your little leg? (he was whetting a scythe and threw it off carelessly) Ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Irena: What really means, Daddy? Father: I’ll tell it tomorrow, my daughter! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Irena: Daddy did not manage to tell me this that day because a bear had eaten him. So until I’m seventeen I lived in the forest alone. It was the happiest time of my life as none called me fat and ugly! On the night of my eighteenth anniversary I saw my Dad and Mom in my dream. Mother: Dear my! Whom did you take after, so fat! Why don’t you try to eat less? Father(to mother) : Now it’s from the purpose! Shut up! Listen, daughter! Me and your Mom thought a little and made up our minds. Enough of your being kept in the forest! Make your way to the folks! Move to city! The more so because you’ve got your own relatives there! Nina, whatshername, her heart will fill with joy at seeing you! Nina Zadova: Never heard of any nieces! Frankly speaking, my sister Claudia had got no daughters as I know! She lived as a cuckoo without kith or kin! Now one, now another ... Ha-ha-ha! Sergeant Zadov(her hubby): Er, girlie! (licking a lollypop) You must have taken us for somebody else! So, sorry, get out of here! Yeah! Nina Zadova: Go home! Sergeant Zadov(his family name literally means Behind-ov): Have my lil lollipop and get lost! Nina Zadova: (to husband, intercepting his lollipop and returning it into her hubby`s mouth) Thank you very much! Irena: In spite of the coolness of our first meeting our kindred relationship was mended, and every weekend I stayed with my family. (we see her cleaning their flat and doing every housework as Cinderella while Sergeant Zadov the more he drank the more often looked at her behind) Nina Zadova: Rub and polish stronger! There still left three specks of dust over there! Sergeant Zadov: Ah! Never mind! She works double tides! Well done, my daughter! (to Nina) Sometimes I even think of offering her to our battalion commander to entertai ..., I mean she could easily replace two or three privates or even a truck tractor `Belarus`! I wish that tractor also wore the skirt! Nina Zadova: A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! (occasionally pushing her hubby`s hand with a cup of tea in it) Sergeant Zadov: Nina! (in an injured voice) You’ve pushed me! I’ve burnt myself! Nina Zadova: I am sorry! Irena: The rest time of the week I spent in the tram depot where I spent the probation period as a rail layer. Oi! I almost forgot to tell that I had got two cousins, brother and sister! Pasha: (informal from Pavel, Paul): And this is ... (excitedly telling about computers and gadgets), by the way, it’s called a louse, souse , e-h-h-h-h! Irena: A mouse! Pasha: May I just touch your breasts? (as soon as he has touched, the series of boxes on his ears followed) Irena: Awfully sorry, Sir! Just by chance! Immediate reflex! As soon as someone attacks me, a bear or what, I start beating off! Does it hurt? Pasha: Nothing special, but I feel like having my ears torn off! You’ve got rather a heavy little hand, I see! Irena: May I ask you, Sir? You’ve just now sexually harassed me because you liked me as a woman or made up your mind that if I was so ugly I would have to be a lady of easy virtue? Pasha: The second answer would be right, frankly speaking. Irena: Because of that they all try to harass me sexually! Pasha: Well, go on playing ... use those .. joysticks ...But ... please don’t tell anybody, ma`am, that I touched you there, sexually harassed you ... or my cronies gonna laugh at me ... Irena: Of course, I don’t. I understand it. I do promise you! Pasha: So.. How to put it... I must be blamed for it. Well, see ya later. Tanya(sister of Pashka, Irena’s cousin): I’m so afraid of our having seen together as one can walk in the streets at night without a dog with your looks. Please, don’t tell anybody that you’re my relative, just say that you are our charlady hired to clean our WC pan. Well! Let’s go with God’s help! Irena: My appearance in the yard was noticed by everybody. Voices: Look! Godzilla revisited! Freak! Frankenstein monster! Tanya: Shud up, you bastards! Just look who is approaching us! Irena: As a beauty Tan`ka (informal from Tanya, Tatiana) was beyond any competition in the yard except for her bitter friend Yul`ka (informally from Yulia, i.e. Julia) Yulia: Oi! Hi, Tan`! (short for Tanya in the informal address) Nice wig! Or you’ve just washed your head? Tanya: Still wearing second hand? On the other hand, you can wear all at your age! Yulia: And this one, beside you, who’s she, eh? Your twin sister? Irena: Nope! I am their housemaid! I clean their WC pans! Yulia: You must have started taking shit a lot, so you need an urgent help as I can see now! Tanya: Yes, we started, but at least we can afford of a paid housemaid! (to Irena) C’mon, Mrs. Charlady! Irena: Recently Tan`ka has felt it more difficult to remain superior to Yul`ka in their war of words, because Yul`ka has had got a boyfriend from the leading energy company. Tanya(trying her best to squeeze into the narrowest skirt): Now Yul`ka gonna die from envy. (by phone) Yulichka (tenderly from Yulia), hi there! Where, where to walk across? To window? A_A_A_A_A_A_A! (Yulia is in the expensive car with a handsome guy (in the background Max Raabe`s singing `Oh, baby, baby!`)) So, you’ve just returned from Milan? Bought anything? Yulia: Well, trifles, open-toe sandals, though `Dolce Gabbana`, 500 bucks, net cash, two pairs, and a ringlet .. but it’s him who presented it to me, so to say, we` were engaged in the St. Catherine Cathedral (having heard it Tanya fainted). Irena: The most important events in my life began right at the day when two bitter friends, Tan`ka and Yul`ka fell in love with the same guy riding his motorcycle. Tanya(with admiration): What a fop! Yulia(with admiration): Fucking freak! I can’t believe it! True fright! Tanya(with admiration): An ultimate scoundrel! Yulia(with admiration): Oi! Gonna feel like crying right now! Tanya(knocking together with Yulia): Did ya see that bastard, eh? Yulia: A perfect villain! Tanya: I can swear this week he gonna be mine! Yulia: What else?! He’s mine! Tanya: I swear he’s mine! Yulia: Let’s bet! (To Irena) Hey you, ugly mug, you’re a witness! Irena(breaking their handshake to confirm it and making the girls fall down by this): Oi! Sorry! Irena: Every single girl has got her own way of seduction. Yul`ka used what she`d had got by nature plus what she was presented by her guy from the energy company. Yulia(to the guy on motorcycle): D`you like my car? I can give you to drive her for some time. Guy: My motorcycle is faster! Yulia: What about a chime? At least 12 disks changer! Super surround, surround sound! Guy: I only like the engine sound! Yulia: Gonna have a Champaign and raspberries? Guy: I prefer vodka! Yulia: Gimme to taste it, do it! Ai! I’m so drunk! What are you doing with me, eh? What on earth are you doing ...? At last do anything with me, do what you want! Irena: Hey, you, Sir, you are asked go upstairs to the flat number fifty five ... Yulia: Fuck! Did anyone teach you that it was disgusting to break into a conversation? Irena: Nope! I was growing in the taiga! My Dad was eaten by a bear, and my Mom left for Hollywood with a geologist. Guy: Well, I go. Yulia: Wait a moment! Wait...! Why you ... (about Irena in English) She’s a bitch! Irena: Tan`ka`s way of temptation was a gastric transit! But it was me who cooked all. Guy has overeaten himself with all that food and trying to kiss Tan`ka in vain has fallen fast asleep Tanya: Where’s that fucking creature? What have you put in his food? Irena: I have not put anything there. Green products. The taiga recipes. Tanya: The taiga! The tundra! Next time cook properly! Irena: Strange! (tasting her food and not noticing that the guy just pretended to be sleeping and is watching furtively) Guy: So it was you who cooked all that food? Tasty! Irena: Oi! (being confused she’s running away) STREET RAIWAY, IRENA IS WORKING WITH A HEAVY AND SHARP HAMMER PICK. THE GUY IS NEARING ON HIS MOTOCYCLE Guy: I see you are keeping busy every single minute! I am right, aren’t I? Irena: I am following yourexample, Sir! Guy: By the way, who you, I ought .. Irena: A horse in orange coat! (orange jackets are the uniform of the road menders in Russia. - AAO) Guy: I see it. I mean, for example, how are you related to Tan`ka? Irena: That’s going to be far! Go away while you are still of one piece, or else my hammer pick gonna glide from my hands. It might hurt you! Guy: I’m not panic. I wear my crash helmet. All right! See ya later! Bye! Irena: I would have worked in the tram depot all week long, without days off, if Tan`ka and Yul`ka hadn’t had made up their minds to be auditioned at the Factory of Stars (the 90s-00s Russian TV project for the amateur singers to give them a chance to become a pop music star. - AAO). Tanya(to Irena while she`s making her a stage dress out of Sergeant Zadov`s parade uniform): Just imagine, owing to his lover from the energy company, Yul`ka has got not problems with her wardrobe! We were clever enough to make the shorts from my Dad`s parade uniform! You are my Jack of all trades! Go on! Sergeant Zadov: Tanya! My daughter! Do you know by chance where some pieces of my uniform are? I haven’t worn my parade uniform for ages! Did I always go to the parades dressed like that? Tanya: It seems to me that you did. Sergeant Zadov: I’d like to believe it too. On the other hand, it looks funny. Shit! My memory fails me! Dammit! Irena: That very moment the fate of mine was at stake at the stair landing. Guy(to the descending Pashka): Tarry a while, you Foureyesito, pass this note to your housemaid, well, that funny one, beefy type. Pasha: To Irka (from Ira, Irena), do you mean her? Guy: I don’t know her name. Pasha: What will be my reward? Guy(showing his fist): Get it in the neck if you don`t pass it! Pasha: Well, I’ll pass. I’ve taken the hint! Irena: While Pashka was running upstairs he invented a sinister design in his head. He decided to play a trick on his sister and me. Pasha: Tanya, a note from your Banderas! Here it is! Tanya: Gimme it! Pasha: I gonna use it as a tissue! What will be my reward? Tanya: I am going to spread a rumour in the courtyard that you have a love affair with a courtesan lady, a very rich and good-looking woman. Pasha: It suits me! It really suits me! Here you are! Tanya: Oi! He’s dated me! I gonna go! Irena: What about your audition? Tanya: Silence! Silence! Don’t tell anything! I know it. But why do I need an audition if I’ve got a message from a man I love? You can go and be auditioned your-self! Irena: How can I go there myself? They only audition beauties! Irena`s Father: Beauty means nothing for a woman! THE JURY. YUL`KA`S BEING AUDITIONED, VOICELESS SINGING OUT OF TUNE Yul`ka: Tra-la-la ... A-a-a! A-a-a! There should be a black woman back singer and a Latino dancer in the background. 1st MEMBER OF THE JURY: Thank you, thank you! You may go! Yulia: They should have rung up on the subject of me! 1st MEMBER OF THE JURY: We’ve been rung up! 2nd MEMBER OF THE JURY: We’ll phone you. 1st MEMBER OF THE JURY: That way, please! 2nd MEMBER OF THE JURY: Thank you very much! Yulia: You may ring me up late. 1st MEMBER OF THE JURY: Uhu! Understood. 2nd MEMBER OF THE JURY: Understood. Thank you very much. Fine. Yulia(to herself): Whether they phoned or they didn’t, can’t understand anything. Irena`s turn to be auditioned 1st MEMBER OF THE JURY(to his colleague): A very original face! Our name? 2nd MEMBER OF THE JURY(looking through the list): Tatiana ... sorry, Zadova? Irena: Yes, I mean, yes! 2nd MEMBER OF THE JURY What shall we sing? Irena: Aria of Tatiana from the opera Evgeniy Onegin.
AT HOME Tanya(to Irena): Marvelous, it was marvelous. We rode round entire Moscow on his motorcycle. Dir-dir-dir, dir-dir-dir! (imitating the engine sound) Then we visited a big cinema, all crystals and mirrors, and marble, and we kissed sitting in the rear row, ate ice cream and pop corn. This and that. It’s a ring which he presented me. So to say, engagement, like that Yul`ka has got. Yes! Yes! Yes! Just look at it! Dandy, isn’t it? Irena: Did he ask anything about me? Tanya: Nope! Though ... he said that you were ugly, kind of... your housemaid is such a fright that you must be afraid of going to your WC at nights. But he stressed that you cleaned properly. Yulia(by phone): Hi, friend! Congratulations! Tanya: Thank you very much! I am a winning party, he’s mine now! Right? Yulia: Who’s he? I mean the audition, The Factory of Stars! You were selected. How did you manage? Who helped you? Tanya: My beauty and talent! (to Irena) You were at the Factory of Stars for me? What had you on?
IN THE STREET Tanya: Who else could choose these ugly spectacles and headscarf? So you’ve grasped it, you will sing for me behind the curtain. Do not appear on stage, stand still. It’s me who will be radiant on the stage. We’ll form a super duet! Su-per! Guy: Ira, I must talk with you. Tanya: She does not want to speak with you. Guy: Ira, why do you send Tanya instead of you on a date? Irena: I did not send anybody. It’s you who called her with your message. Guy: I invited you, not her! Tanya, gimme back the ring of my mother which you stole from me. Tanya: Here you are! Who made you give it to me ... now you are taking it back! Hold it! I hope it chokes you! Irena: Tanya! Why have you been deceiving me? You, my sister! Guy: Sister? She said you were their housemaid! Tanya: Well. Fuck off you all! As to me, I am awaited by fame and success. Guy: Ira-a-a, do you want me to take you for a drive? Irena: Thus, my story is coming to its end. You’d like to know for sure what was then. Tan`ka almost succeeded in becoming a star. She’d signed the contract before the manager listened to her. They paid her a huge fine. As to me I met my man at last. I’m very happy! It’s strange but none wondered at our romance. What if my Dad was right, and beauty means nothing for a woman? Then what? THE END(Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
COMMENTS Beware of the Modern
I’ve just now presented you one of the unique episodes of the 90s-00s sitcom played by two extraordinary Russian clowns, Dmitry Naghiyev (archetype: a white clown) and Sergei Rost (archetype: a ginger clown), who created a long row of the comic male and female characters under the guidance of St. Petersburg TV’s highly creative and we-can-do team of the outstanding film directors, script writers and producers Anna Parmas (born in 1970), Andrei Balashov, Andrei Markov, Mikhail Galkin.
Anna Parmas
Entitled `Beware of the Modern` (after The Modern Radio in St. Petersburg from where they all originated) the TV sitcom turned out to become a real encyclopedia of the Russian life on the turn of the 20th century. It’s a great and evergreen Russian TV satiric realist novel. Unfortunately, the duet broke up due to the ardent desire of Dmitry Vladimirovich Naghiev to belong to the retinue of the very important, but creatively impotent persons who lost their talents long ago.
Andrei Balashov
By this decision he seriously impeded the brilliant career of his former friend, Sergei Rost, Anna Parmas, their whole team, and step by step turned into a highly-paid, rather famous, yet not very successful narcissistic muscle man and star of the fly-by-night TV shows, cheap comedies and weak movies. There was, however, one not very bad, though very tough Russian movie entitled `The Best Film` where he played a hyperbolized role of the Soviet military unit commander in time of the Afghan campaign of the 80s of the 20c.
The Best Film. Drill Ground Episode. Unit Commander (actor Dmitry Naghiyev)
DRILL GROUND. Ranks of conscripts Unit Commander: You’re all shit! Conscripts: We’re all shit! UC: Shit ought to speak louder! Spectacled Con: We’re shit!!! UC: This is not a resort for you, Kalashnikov into my behind! This is the Ar-my-y-y! Trotyl into my arsehole! Even from such gays like we are army makes the real men! Discharge into my anus! Have you understood me? You maybe think that you’ll be baby-sitted her, a jet into my hangar! Me myself will be knocking the nonsense out of your belfries, heavy cruiser into my bay! You are here to defend your country, but not to play that ... what’s-his-name ...Van`ka the Fool! Grasped it, you girls? All mass destruction weapons into my what? Spectacled Con: Into your bottom, Sir! UC: Say this in my lil ear! Spectacled Con: Into your bottom?! UC: 100 duty orders out of turn! Voices: What for? UC: Look at yourselves, you greenhorns! You’re womanlike, not the muscle men, but puppies! Bow-wow! You must be dreaming of going to your mommies, of sucking their tits? Who will defend your mommies for you? Me? Or an Uncle Pete? Aunt Motya (short for Maria.-AAO)? Soon you gonna be the soldiers of the Red Army! It’ll make a man even from such a schmo as you are! Spectacled Con: What do you permit yourself, Sir?! UC: Now concretely. Mr. Fierce, Jack the Sparrow, Gioconda, Motherfucker, make a step forward! Yesterday, I'll be damned, these four pieces of shit, I'll be damned, banged our common female cook in the indecent, perverted way while wearing not ironed uniforms and dirty boots! They(licking the naked cook): Goddess! Tasty! Snow White! UC: Now she’s in the family way! Commander in Chief ordered to send you to the positions of the legendary ... e-e-e-h tenth company AFGHANISTAN Indicator reads: Moscow - 4,000 km, Tashkent - 1,000 km, Hemp Field - 5 km, WC -23 m, Hohol`s Tent - 35 cm.... Mr. Fierce, Jack the Sparrow, Gioconda, Motherfucker are entering the tent of the company commander nicknamed Hohol(informal for a Ukrainian. - AAO). Hohol(while getting out of the portable solarium): Congratulations on your arrival at the positions of the valiant Tenth Company! I can’t understand your silence, warriors, congratulations on the arrival at the positions of the valiant Tenth Company! Mr. Fierce, Jack the Sparrow, Gioconda, Motherfucker: Hurrah, Hurrah, Hurrah! Hohol(stretching his hand): Hohol! Mr. Fierce: Yakut! (and is knocked down by a Hohol who hasn`t cottoned on to his joke) THE END(Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Dmitry Naghiyev. Vainglory and morbid fear of poverty can kill any genius!
Despite the rupture of the business-like, professional and personal relations both Mr. Naghiyev and Mr. Rost not only placed themselves on record, but also made their marks on history owing to the Beware of the Modern. Their early series of masterpieces will be always watched and re-watched in Russia. It’s been a great cultural phenomenon. Having started humiliating Rost in public Naghiyev made him leave the show. Thus he simply destroyed the show, as Rost occurred to his surpise to be irreplaceable. None of the numerous guest stars, those V.I.Ps could replace him, and the unique show lost its popularity. Both critics and fans concurred that Naghiyev must have fallen ill with schizophrenia if he made that fatal step. But not! It was even the worse case, he simply decided to get all and at once in life, and he succeeded in it at least until now, though at the expense of his talent.
Le veau d'or est toujours debout (Mephistopheles` couplets) from Charles Gounod`s opera Faust (Lyrics by Paul Jules Barbier (1825-1901) and Michel Antoine Florentin Carre (1821-1872). Sung by Rene Pape (2011).
On the other hand, I can understand him. He might have been afraid of the sad fate of another great comic show group, The Masks Show from Odessa, New Russia. Those inimitable artistes who also created the evergreen masterpieces which have been watched for decades and will have been watched later occurred on the scrap-heap. If this is a fright of that kind, I hope Naghiyev (born in 1967), that kluege Elsa (he’s got mixed Russian, Persian, Lettish and German roots, one of his granny was Gertruda Zopke), will have paved his way to the wealthy old age as he needs it more than his own artistic achievements and success.
Sergei Rost. Irreplaceable, but not indispensable. Kinda `Nemirovich-Danchenko` without his `Stanislavsky`!
As to his former partners Sergei Rost (Sergei Anatoliyevich Titivin) (born in 1965), Anna Parmas, Andrei Balashov, directors and script writers of the show, they had to begin their careers from the start after they’d been reaching the pink of perfection for many years and had had edged towards a brink of the great success. So choose the reliable and reasonable partners committed to the team spirit. Just fancy what would’ve been with the Beatles if they had parted five years before it really happened?
Sergei Rost sharing his life`sexperience in the Internet project МыSLI (Thoughts). What to read?
You know, I am not going to recommend you anything definite. There should be a certain harmony, a person who wants to get to know anything will find what to read in any case. Besides, there’s a proven method, bush telegraph, when you call your friend and ask what he’s reading for the time being. And his advice is likely to be found actually useful for you. As to me I have to read a new script now, well, before that I’d read a book by a literature teacher who made me feel respect of the Russian classical literature anew, and of the Russian language. Even earlier I read several historical novels, a course of the Russian history, as well as a course of the British history. It was very interesting, though I found it to be rather complicated, they had got so many kings and queens, there were so many cases of division of their property, family trees were so ramified that it almost drove me to despair, well, but as a result those people (the British. - AAO) learned how to compromise and negotiate, and issued very many interesting, reasonable, right laws. Belarus is a heavy four-wheeled tractors produced since 1950 at Minsk Tractor Works in Minsk, White Russia. Factory of Stars (Fabrika zvyozd Фабрика звёзд), the Russian version of the Endemol format Operación Triunfo, is a Russian TV Show aired on Channel One since 13 October 2002.
SELFIE IN COBBLESTONE
Looking through the previous post I’ve noticed that the face of a proletarian in The Cobblestone Is the Weapon of the Proletariat (gypsum 1927, bronze 1947) by Ivan Chadre reminds of … his own face! If he was a prototype, model of that statue, then it is his own portrait to a certain extent (self-portrait).
Formally it’s a statue of a young proletarian but de facto it’s also, if not mainly a generic, symbolic image of a creative outbreak on the whole.
Structurally, in abstracto this figure is a helicoid, an unwinding spiral, straightening up spring. The same principles underlies Myron’s (Μύρων) Discobolus (Δισκοβόλος).
We can’t exclude either that Chadre made this statue of his turn into a metaphor in stone as it was his favourite method to materialize the poetic tropes. Besides he could hardly ignore the polysemantic symbolism of the concept of stone (cobblestone). I mean antique symbolism, Biblical symbolism and even the Stone Age symbolism.
At the same time the stone metaphors of Chadre are deprived of any assessment. Of course, it would be primitive and ridiculous to suspect him of thumbing his nose behind the authorities` back. We cannot speak of the political metaphor as well though the immediate, direct meaning of the sculpture is obviously political and ideological and related to the Revolutionary epoch in Russia. That time passed long ago, yet Chadre`s masterpiece didn’t turn into one more monument to the past. It’s still of significance in its own right. It’s a monument to a creative impulse, or, to be exact, not that the character of the sculpture has reached the pink of perfection, but it’s edged towards a brink of it.
WHAT ON EARTH IS BEAUTY? ON THE NATURE OF THINGS
Nikolai Zabolotsky An Ugly Girl. Read by Ekaterina Samarova
Николай Заболоцкий. Некрасивая девочка Среди других играющих детей// Она напоминает лягушонка.//Заправлена в трусы худая рубашонка,//Колечки рыжеватые кудрей// Рассыпаны, рот длинен, зубки кривы,//Черты лица остры и некрасивы.//Двум мальчуганам, сверстникам её,//Отцы купили по велосипеду.//Сегодня мальчики, не торопясь к обеду,//Гоняют по двору, забывши про неё,//Она ж за ними бегает по следу.//Чужая радость так же, как своя,//Томит её и вон из сердца рвётся,//И девочка ликует и смеётся,//Охваченная счастьем бытия.//Ни тени зависти, ни умысла худого//Ещё не знает это существо.//Ей всё на свете так безмерно ново,//Так живо всё, что для иных мертво!//И не хочу я думать, наблюдая,//Что будет день, когда она, рыдая,//Увидит с ужасом, что посреди подруг// Она всего лишь бедная дурнушка!//Мне верить хочется, что сердце не игрушка,//Сломать его едва ли можно вдруг!//Мне верить хочется, что чистый этот пламень,//Который в глубине её горит,//Всю боль свою один переболит//И перетопит самый тяжкий камень!// И пусть черты её нехороши// И нечем ей прельстить воображенье,//Младенческая грация души// Уже сквозит в любом её движенье.?//А если это так, то что есть красота//И почему её обожествляют люди?//Сосуд она, в котором пустота,//Или огонь, мерцающий в сосуде?
Nikolai Zabolotsky AN UGLY GIRL
Against the rest of the playground’s kids
She bears the resemblance of a froglet.
Worn-out shirt of hers is tucked in boxers,
Curls of her reddish hair are rid
Of comb, her mouth’s long, teeth aren’t well-ordered,
Her set of features is irregular and pointed.
The fathers of two laddies of her age
Have bought them bicycles quite lately.
In spite of teatime they are riding bravely
In their courtyard, blind to her and strange,
Though she is running after them inanely.
Another’s joy as if it were of hers
Is overflowing little heart and freeing.
The girl is cheering, she’s feeling
That she is filled with joy of Universe.
Neither malice, nor envy has been known
Just in the least to THIS being so far.
The world’s as new for her as not for anybody
Who must be dead alive, it is extremely wide.
I don’t want to think while watching
That once a day will come when sobbing
She’ll realize with horror that against the girls
She’s but a poor ugly creature!
I wish her heart were not a brittle toy
To break due to her conscience of her features.
I hope, maybe in vain, her clear flame of rapture
Which brightly burns at heart of hers
Will melt the hardest stones of blind Nature
And she’ll not change despite her hurts.
Although her look is far from being ideal,
Though she will hardly overwhelm one’s mind,
The infant’s grace of soul makes her individual
And since this time has formed her gorgeous style.
But if it’s so then what’s beauty?
Why is it so idolized by all?
Is it a vessel, empty absolutely?
Or fire flickering behind a vessel’s wall? (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
This very tough poem about cruelty of the world and its false ideals was written by a classical author of the Russian literature of the 20 c. Nikolai Zabolotsky in 1948 and published in 1955. Earlier I wrote the name of this big Russian poet as Zabolocki. Now I have to write Zabolotsky as I knew that the poet had insisted on that spelling. Still phonetically there’s no difference in any case. I knew also that Nikolai Alexeyevich Zabolotsky`s (1903-1958) favourite authors had been Dostoyevsky, Goethe and Thomas Mann. After Anton Chekhov he was the second great Germanophile of the Russian literature. He was crazy about the order, by the way. He appreciated Boris Pasternak, as a poet and translator of the Faust by J.-W. Goethe. But he never forgot to add that he’d been number two after Boris Pasternak as a poet.
Young Zabolotsky
His poem `An ugly girl` had got an exact prototype. When I was translating it in the library a girl student who peered over my shoulder (she wasn’t a philologist) noticed that the girl must have been Jewish. Soon I was very much astonished at having known that the student had been right. The prototype of the ugly girl was Ira, daughter of Nikolai Alexeyevich`s second wife Natalie Alexandrovna Roskina (1928-1989) (they’d been married for 2,5 years). When Ira grew up, she married poet Evgeniy Rein (friend and teacher of Joseph Brodsky) and they had got a baby girl who occurred to have been a beautiful child that served as an excuse for the other poets to remember Zabolotsky`s An Ugly Girl whether appropriate or not and simulate astonishment at the obvious fact that `an ugly girl` gave birth to a pretty girl.
Nikolai Zabolotsky was a man who experienced a lot in his life. He spent 8 years in the GULAG where owing to his love of order he made a brisk career from a shovelman to a foreman. It saved his life, as he should have stepped aboard the barge which was to have been drowned with all the prisoners in the Amur river in the Russian Far East, but his chief who needed the competent managers and accountants pulled him out of it literally last moment. For the first time when in the GULAG he even hadn’t got the trousers and had to walk in the column of the prisoners across the city so to say sans-culottes.
Zabolotsky, his wife Ekaterina and his daughter
In 1944 he was pardoned and by the 1953 he and his family (wife and two children) had been returned all they lost after his having been proscribed, including their large, comfortable flat, car, fridge, expensive Wedgwood tea service, originals of the classical paintings (he had got one of six portraits by Feodor Rokotov, a dame in a oval frame, in his private collection, in particular), big money, high social position and popularity.
Nikolai Zabolotsky. Self-Portrait, 1935
And that very moment his faithful wife Ekaterina Vasiliyevna Zabolotskaya (born Klykova) who was that time 48 years old all of a sudden cheated on him with his friend, the brilliant, handsome and energetic writer Vasiliy Semyonovich Grossmann (1905-1965) who was writing his prominent novel `Life and Fate` (Жизнь и судьба) (1959).
Vasiliy Grossmann
In Memoirs of Korney Chukovsky, his close friend, we read: `If she’d swallowed a bus Zabolotsky would have been astonished less!` It happened, however, as the natural result of his own behaviour. The GULAG changed Zabolotsky`s temper; the former strong and cheerful personality became unrecognizably despotic, requiring 10-11 hours of perfect silence, weak and timid, unsociable and started drinking much vodka. He`d been listening to Maurice Ravel`s Boléro for hours and did it even in presence of guests. By the way, it was him who used to say that to be untrue to himself is of more woe than being cheated on.
He loved his wife (he never ceased loving her); but he also fell in love with Natalie Roskina, a young scholar who was that time just 28 years old, who was one of his fans and de facto adopted daughter of Vasiliy Grossmann. She married Zabolotsky who was 54 years old that time not loving him; it was him who insisted on it. Alas, I can’t represent you her photo, as to the photo that is considered to be that of her with Zabolotsky is but a picture of Zabolotsky with his own daughter.
Zabolotsky and his daughter
All Moscow then was gossiping that Zabolotsky had urgently found a Judaic girl for himself as she seemed to him (and really was) among the prettiest ones.
A Moscow communal flat of the 50s, kitchen
They moved to her communal flat in which kitchen and toilet facilities were shared by several families and where he was permanently disturbed by a neighbour who was considered to have been an intellectual because he told that he’d read almost all short stories by Shakespeare and loved best of all his story about a steam engine! Soon the former wife of Zabolotsky left Grossmann who also returned to his former wife Olga Gruber and all resumed its normal course.
Zabolotsky and his wife Ekaterina
But all those men and women remained the good friends, by the way, if not a common family. Literary bohemia of the Eastern Roman Empire! Ira, a prototype of an ugly girl, often lived with Zabolotsky`s adult children in their comfortable flat. Parting with Natalie Roskina, Zabolotsky presented her an amethyst necklace and, beside `An Ugly Girl` about her daughter, he dedicated to her an iconic poem `Declaration of Love`(`You are kissed, bewitched…`) that became a modern Russian romance after it had been put to music in the 80s of the 20 c. (see the next, same name heading below.- AAO). All who wrote about this romance song in the Internet resort to various tricks trying to prove that that poem by Zabolotsky had been dedicated either to his first wife or to both wives at once, allegedly they were two prototypes of it. They’re wrong, that poem, an improvisation on the S.O.S. (The Song of Songs) was dedicated to the `Judaic girl` who was its only prototype.
Moscow in the 50s
As to `An Ugly Girl` it was called `a pride of the Russian poetry` by Irakliy Andronikov who also was a longstanding friend of Nikolai Zabolotsky. And he was right! The contemporaries, his friends, poets did not consider Nikolai Alexeyevich Zabolotsky a great Russian poet, a genius. Once on their way back from Italy to Moscow ones of the leading Soviet poets of that time Twardowski and Slutsky (whose brother, by the way, was that time the chief of the MOSSAD in Israel) entered the compartment and thinking that Zabolotsky was fast asleep, Alexandre Twardowski said to Boris Slutsky: `What a good fella he`s happened to be and what rubbish he’s been writing for all his life!` Zabolotsky was carrying a black suit length from Italy to have his new suit made, but he wore it only in the coffin. He died of the second heart attack. He could have lived much longer if not alcohol. Doctors warned him, but he made his choice, and their forecast, timing, accurately came true. He was afraid of the natural disasters, anthropogenic impact and did not trust the human nature and suffered from an acute atomic phobia. Once he said to Natalie Roskina: `If the all-out nuclear war begins, I’ll step downstairs to the pub in the ground floor of our house and start drinking 24/7`. `What about me?` asked Natalie. He answered: `You’re still young, you will flee!` A propos! Neither life, nor poetry by Nikolai Zabolotsky has been studied yet properly either in Russia or abroad. So it’s up to you, scholars! Dare and fare! Do not flee from the Doctor’s Degree!
DECLARATION OF LOVE (YOU ARE KISSED, BEWITCHED …)
Declaration of Love (You are kissed, bewitched …). Lyrics by Nikolai Zabolotsky. Music by Alexandre Lobanovsky/Mikhail Zvezdinsky. Sung by the `St. Petersburg` Group`. IMHO, the best performance of that romance song.
Николай Заболоцкий. Признание. Зацелована, околдована,//С ветром в поле когда-то обвенчана,//Вся ты словно в оковы закована,//Драгоценная моя женщина!//Не веселая, не печальная,//Словно с темного неба сошедшая,//Ты и песнь моя обручальная,//И звезда моя сумасшедшая.//Я склонюсь над твоими коленями,//Обниму их с неистовой силою,//И слезами и стихотвореньями//Обожгу тебя, горькую, милую.//Отвори мне лицо полуночное,//Дай войти в эти очи тяжелые,//В эти черные брови восточные,//В эти руки твои полуголые.//Что прибавится – не убавится,//Что не сбудется – позабудется…//Отчего же ты плачешь, красавица?//Или это мне только чудится?
DECLARATION OF LOVE (1957)
You are kissed, bewitched,
Somewhen wed to the wind in the field you are,
You’re as if chained all over and cold as steel,
You are my precious gem, you are my sweetheart.
Neither cheerful, nor disconsolate,
As if an angel who dropped from the dark night sky,
You are either my nuptial recessional
Or my crazy love’s star shining from above.
I’ll fall down before knees of yours passionately,
I’ll embrace them like crazy, in frantic love.
I shall burn you with my tears, my poetry,
You are my bitter love, you are my sweetheart.
Open your midnight face, do not torment me,
Let me enter your heavy eyes amorously,
Your black eyebrows, that gift of the Orient,
And these arms of yours, half-naked, odorous.
What is gained will retain as our mutual,
Not come true will be through as a mere fable.
So why do you cry, o my beautiful?
Or I seem to see it lost in reverie? (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Alexandre Lobanovsky
Decades later Alexandre Nikolayevich Lobanovsky (born in 1935), one of the St. Petersburg bards composed music, having slightly changed the first line (`charmed` instead of `kissed`). (In my translation I kept Zabolotsky`s text intact. In any case it’s singable! – AAO)
Declaration of Love. Music by Alexandre Lobanovsky (Александр Лобановский)
After that Mikhail Mikhailovich Zvezdinsky (Deinekin) (born in 1945), another Russian bard from Moscow composed his own melody which has become popular and even iconic since that (music video before the translation).
Though Alexandre Lobanovsky insisted on the `fact` of Zvezdinsky`s plagiarism and judges in 1990 took his side the variant of music by Mikhail Zvezdinsky has still been regarding by the Russian Copyright Society as having right to existence as his own composition, so music of Declaration of Love formally and eventually has got two authors, Lobanovsky and Zvezdinsky. De facto, they are different, as you can now judge yourself. Moreover, Zvezdinsky`s music is much more popular.
Russian romance `Declaration of Love` from Nikolai Zabolotsky. By Lobanovsky/Zvezdinsky. (Instrumental cover).
A STORY OF A NUN-WHORE
ANKOLOGY Anna Andreyevna Akhmatova (born Gorenko) (1889-1966) had received more than 100 poems dedicated to her during her life which she kept in a file entitled `In 100 mirrors`. Strictly speaking, there were two Akhmatovas, a poetess and a woman, and they never coincided. The Akhmatova`s oral memoirs also strikingly differed from her written ones. Sergei Alexandrovich Yesenin (1895-1925) was taken aback at discrepancy between her poetic image and her real personality. Akhmatova refused to consider Sergei Yesenin, the summit of the Russian poetry of the 20 c, a good poet. She loved to remember his first visit when he wearing the Russian national dress modestly sat on the edge of a chair and humbly thanked in French: Merci, merci, merci! Once when he tried to remind of himself she absently said, `Yeah, … once we met … at the corner of the Pyramid of Cheops ..`.
LIEUTENANT RZEWSKI AND GIRL STUDENT
Once at a party Akhmatova told such a shocking obscene funny story that all blushed not knowing what to say, to do, to cry or laugh or even to run away. Having noticed common confusion, she explained with perfect calm: `Such funny stories we were being told by the hussars in Tsar Village when we were gymnasium girl students`. Akhmatova often lived in the Moscow flat of her close friends Ardovs. One day Viktor Ardov not noticing the presence of Anna Akhmatova in the room relieved his feelings with the obscene words. Having seen her, he got confused, but she just concluded: `Viktor, we’re the linguists after all!`
NOT ALL IS GOLD THAT LITTERS
Akhmatova told poet Arseny Alexandrovich Tarkowski (1907-1989): `Today Alexandre Solzhenitsyn read his poem to me!` Tarkowski asked: `Was it really so good?` She answered: `Very, very good!` `What if to be honest?` `Then it was good`. `What if to swear by God?` Akmatova turned red: `It was a terrible bad poem!` Solzhenitsyn went on to regularly bother her with his weak poems. Akhmatova mildly reproached him: `There’s no mystery in your poems!` Authoritarian Solzhenitsyn who considered himself a genius and even tried to teach Akhmatova how to write poems flared up and blurted: `I see that your poetry is one big mystery!`
COMMON FAITH
Akhmatova was a true Russian Orthodox churchwoman. Once she said: `I just can’t help it! I believe in God as an ordinary dark country twat!` When asked why the Russian Orthodox faith? She answered that only that Christianity really teaches humility. Like Christ Akhmatova was very kind with children. Some attended her literary circle where she was kidding and joking. They laughed. She warned them: `Don’t laugh I am Akhmatova rather than Chaplin. Just consult a literary encyclopedia: `Akhmatova is a tragic poet, a singer of pessimism and decadence`.
FASTIDIOUS AND PRECISE
One day Akmatova said in public: `You all know that I love Jews very much. But they are not tactful! Especially Zoshchenko!` All burst out laughing as he wasn’t a Jew. They said that dramatist Isidor Stock (1908-1980) used to call her `old dame` in public and she allegedly liked it. But still she complained in public that they were not tactful. Besides she found Osip Mandelstamm, her colleague, closest friend and, by the way, brother in Christian faith, with whom they spent many merry hours together to be stinky and shuddered with disgust every time he kissed her hand.
APASSIONATA
Actress Fanny Ranevskaya and Anna preferred the same type of humour, rather rude, often vulgar, humour of the Renaissance, of Leonardo da Vinci and François Rabelais (1494-1553). Akhmatova knew Latin and Italian and, by the way, could quote and recite Dante’s Divina Commedia chapter by chapter by heart. She greatly appreciated Michelangelo as a poet. Ranevskaya, or just Foofa (or Charlie for her), could keep secrets and though knew all about Akhmatova`s love affairs she never told about them even after Akhmatova`s death. She only confined herself to mentioning that Akhmatova was a woman of a great passion, and not of one, of great many passions. (`Fanny, what`s love? I forgot it. I only remember it was something pleasant`).
THE SEWN SONG
Once Akhmatova and Ranevskaya saw soldiers singing a song in the street. Anna said: `How happy would I be if it were my song!` When at home Foofa who shared a room with Akhmatova and used to call her Rabbi or Rabbin pretended to be a poor simple seamstress operating a sewing-machine and singing one of poems by Akhmatova. It was so ridiculous that both burst out laughing! Later Anna often asked Foofa to sing that `sewn song`.
AKHMATOVA AND HER MEN
Akhmatova never spared and shared feelings of her husbands and none of them was able to control her all the way. Her romance with Amedeo Modigliani (1884-1920) happened during her wedding travel with her first husband Nikolai Stepanovich Gumilev (1886-1921). A Russian follower of Rudyard Kipling and lover of many women he turned into a kind of Ernest Hemingway`s Francis Macomber and took humiliations patiently from his Venus in Furs. When she was married to the world-famous expert on Hittites Vladimir Kazimirovich Szylejko (1891-1930) she took delight in being a masochist and giving cause for jealousy. Being a gentleman he couldn’t hit her though he desired it and that made her pleasure even stronger. It was she who ruled in that marriage too. Szyleiko was exhausted by his jealousy. (Modigliani also used to stand under her window nights; she only looked out of it to get convinced he was still standing). That time Szylejko was considered to have been a poet more prominent than Anna and she really learned a lot from him as a poetess. She could have her poems printed only after his permission, and she had to spend much time at home as he closed her because of his not farfetched jealousy. Akhmatova confessed implying all her, Queen`s men: `I was neither kind nor tender with anyone`.
BITTER, BUT SWEET
Akhmatova defended Maxim Gorky (1869-1936) saying he saved many intellectuals in the Revolutionary years. He really did, but when she asked him to find a job for her he refused to help. To survive she had to work in a vegetable garden and entered his office bare footed and wearing sarafan and headscarf. He looked at her dirty legs and concluded: `You are bare footed and said to be consumptive`. He knew whom she`d been and instead of a job she needed badly he offered her to translate a propagandistic leaflet from Russian into Italian. How to understand her eternal admiration? Either she achieved the only orgasm in her life under him right after that or that treatment was appropriate for her and she wanted men to behave like that with her. Freud, pure Freud whom she disliked very much!
THE PHOCA, MEDICAL REPORT
The third husband of hers Nikolai Nikolayevich Punin (1888-1953) photographed her naked while she was making her famous `wheel` in 1926, she was slender and lissome, and her head could easily reach her feet. Many a man knew it! But you will hardly find this photo in the WWW. Anna was an excellent swimmer and skier! She could swim in the Black Sea, in Crimea that far that she sometimes startled fishers. Yet this bodily strength failed to prevent her from progress of the heart disease. She also suffered from agoraphobia; she could stop all of a sudden amidst of a square, grasp the hand of her companion and stood for an hour drenched in cold sweat. She had regular vertigos and was afraid of descending the stairs.
CAESAR AND POETESS
Svetlana, daughter of Stalin, was quite carried away by the poems by Akhmatova. To some extent they compensated the girl the loss of her mother. And Caesar could not help taking it into account. Thus Akhmatova became an absent member of the August family. Stalin released Akhmatova`s son and husband from the GULAG. All of a sudden, he asked the awarded artistes at the Kremlin reception: `Where’s Akhmatova? Why doesn’t she write anything?` After that two collections of her poems were published after a seven year interval. Akhmatova said those books had been gifts of the father to his daughter. In 1941 Stalin included Akhmatova into the list of persons subject to evacuation from the encircled St. Petersburg. Her patriotic poems appeared even in the Pravda, she was awarded a medal, and in 1946 she was invited to the governmental reception where she received a great ovation lasted 15 minutes. It was the Royal honour, before that it was only Stalin who had been honoured like that. So she officially became the Queen of the Russian Poetry until she committed a blunder having secretly accepted Isaiah Berlin (1909-1997) and Churchill`s nephew.
A RUSSIAN PATRIOT
After the Revolution the artistic elite of St. Petersburg started emigrating abroad. But Akhmatova shared the fate of her country. Boris Antrep (1883-1969), her lover of that time, escaped too. Many decades later he depicted her as Holy Martyr, St. Anne on a wall of the Cathedral of Christ the King (Mullingar, Westmeath).
When in 1954 British students came to St. Petersburg to meet Akhmatova they asked her about the Decree of 14 August of 1946 against her and Zoshchenko. She hardly glanced at them; she did it rather presumptuously and spoke through clenched teeth: `I agree with the decree. We shall settle our inner arguments themselves without outside interference. I hardly need any sympathy.`
INFERNO AND DANTESS
In the 60s Akhmatova was awarded the `Etna Taormina` Prize (December 1964) in Italy. Initially the authorities offered poetess Vera Mikhailovna Inber (1890-1972) to accept the prize for Akhmatova, but Akhmatova disagreed: `Vera Inber can represent me just at one place, in the inferno!` They offered a candidature of poetess Margarita Iosifovna Aligher (1915-1992). But the Italian press was indignant: `Instead of a follower of Dante Alighieri we are to be sent his namesake!` Ranevskaya wrote about that event: `She spent her prize worth of one million liras on presents for her friends, but though I’m also considered to be her friend I received not a penis, because she thinks that I don’t need anything any longer and maybe she’s right`.
Mona Lisa Argues in a Circle: Anticipation - Eternal Ideal - Satisfaction Rule, Britannia!
COME TOMORROW. THE 20 C. RUSSIAN CLASSICAL CINE NOVELLETTE
CHAPTER FIVE: A STUDENT AT LAST!
COME TOMORROW (Приходите завтра) 1:00:54 - 1:18:26 ( total 1:33)
THE CHANCELLOR`S OFFICE Chancellor: You know better than me, Alexandre Alexandrovich, that it’s to late. We don’t admit anybody! Professor: So to say `Come tomorrow`! Chancellor: I’m sorry what do you mean? Professor: Just grumbling as an old man! Chancellor: No vacant place. Besides we can’t accept her without a living allowance. I’m helpless to do anything even if I was taking a personal interest in it! Professor: It happens so that, on the one hand, we search for the new talents round the whole USSR, spending time and money but, on the other hand, when a talented person comes, comes himself, an exclusive gift, we can’t take him even that person be a Solomon, just because it’s late and none can be admitted any longer! A renyxa! Chancellor: What does this word mean? Professor: Chepookha (Nonsense)! Chancellor: Nonsense? Now read this directive! Delivered just yesterday! Professor: The directive! Oh! It must be easy to live for you, Dennis Ivanovich, they decide everything for you! But in the long run it’s you who is responsible! Chancellor: It’s me who’s responsible! Professor: But you are helpless to do anything! Chancellor: I am helpless to do anything! Professor: But this time you can’t help doing anything, Dennis Ivanovich! A? What do you think? Chancellor: I don’t know what to say, Alexandre Alexandrovich! THE SCULPTOR`S FLAT, FROSYA`S ROOM Nikolai Vasiliyevich: What? Frosya(sitting in bed): What? Nikolai Vasiliyevich: A? Frosya: A? I was writing the letter! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Just look at her! Take and read it! It’s what they’ve written about me! (closing the door) Please, do read it! THE TITLE OF THE ARTICLE READS `THE SQUANDERED TALENTS`
THE SCULPTOR`S STUDIO - The sculptor is in crisis. He’s thinking, smoking, then he is shattering all his sculptures! Except for one! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: (to the startled Frosya who entered his studio): It’s an only my work which was created in my third year in the art academy! It was really made for folks. THE SCULPTOR`S FLAT - THE DOOR BELL Housekeeper(seeing Frosya gathering her belongings): What d`you do? Frosya: I’ve been assigned a place in the hostel. I will work, learn in the institute and live there. Housekeeper: So you leave us! Frosya: Yes! Housekeeper: Why not to wait for him getting up? He would drive you there. Frosya: Never mind! I’ll get there by foot! Is he still asleep? Housekeeper: He went to bed at dawn! I’ve noticed a helluva of his cigarette butts in the ashtray! I’ve realized he had got a sleepless night! He looks like insane unlike he was. He was sane. Frosya: Well, I have to go! Thank you very much for you’ve done for me, ma`am! Tell him `Thank you very much!` for me too! Housekeeper: Is it far to your hostel? Frosya: I’ll have to go by bus! Route 108. Housekeeper: How will you take it all away with you at once? Leave something until next time. Frosya: I’ll take all. No problem. Housekeeper: Silly you are! God protect you! Come to us, don’t forget! Frosya: I’ll come. Housekeeper: Aha! S`long!
IN THE STREET Frosya(to a guy she’d contacted earlier): Hello! Guy: A-a-a! Hi! I am in hurry, really. I see you need a help! Let me ... Frosya: Never mind! Guy: Where to fetch it? Frosya: To the bus stop! Guy: It’s rather far! Frosya: Right! Guy: What about your aunt? Still swallow eggs? Frosya: So that her voice could ring, yes? Do you live nearby? Guy: Yes, our hostel is here. Frosya: I’m moving out to the hostel too. Today I`ve become a student in the institute! Guy: What? Agricultural? Frosya: Nope! Guy: Civil Construction? Frosya: Nope! Guy: Drama school, perhaps. To become an actress! Now all try to get there! Frosya: Nope! Though this time `Yes!` Guy: Not bad too! You’d better take a taxi, ma`am! With your luggage! Cabman: Hey, junior, put your sacks into the boot! Guy: It’s OK this way too! (to Frosya) Take your seat, ma`am! Good bye! IN THE TAXI Frosya(pointing out to the taximeter): What’s appeared over there? Cabman: Where? Frosya: Over there! Cabman: Oh! It’s 20 kopecks! Frosya: Already?! Stop! Immediately! Cabman: You shouldn’t have acted like this! You shouldn’t have behaved like this! Why on earth to snatch wheel out of my hands? BOOKSTALL The Guy: Have you got many of these books? Seller: Just one copy! Lady Buyer: Be so kind ... Seller: Yes, please! Cabman(to Frosya): Gonna call a policeman! He’ll teach you the right manners! Keeping mum, look at her! The Guy: Let me help you! I see you have arrived fast! Frosya: I have! Taxi is quite the cheese! The Guy: Wait! I gonna buy the book! I need it badly! Can you lend me a little or you’ve got nothing in your pockets? Frosya: How much? The Guy: 1.60 rubles. Frosya: Turn aside! The Guy: It’s a very necessary book! I’ve been looking for it for a long time! I’ll repay tomorrow, by all means. Frosya: Here it is! Two rubles! The Guy: Thank you! THE SCULPTOR`S FLAT - IN THE KITCHEN Housekeeper: You’ve missed the dinner time! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Where’s Frosya? Housekeeper: She ran early in the morning, then came bak, took her stuff and said farewell. She entered the institute! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Did he go long ago? Housekeeper: A half of an hour ago! She left her felt boots by chance! I’m afraid of her starting looking for what she’d broken in your studio. She seems to be very pushy. What if she finds something like that figure? She’ll buy it! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: She won’t buy! I have a little mess in my studio. Can you clean it, do me a favour! IN THE STREET The Guy: Where to bring your money? To your hostel? Frosya: Yes! No! Better come to the institute! The Guy: When do you finish? At 3 p.m.? Frosya: Better come at 4 p.m. You can wait for me in the entrance. The Guy: What’s your name? I’m Kostya! (short for Konstantin. - AAO) Frosya: I’m Frosya! Cabman: Where to drive you? The Guy: Thank you! We’ve arrived. Frosya has gone by bus IN THE INSTITUTE Frosya, Professor, Lady Accompanist. Vocalization. Frosya: A-a-a-a-a! Professor: Veronika Vasiliyevna, forbid her to force her voice! Frosya, you still think that the collective farm administration will hear you! Voice, my dear, is not a singer, it’s but an instrument! You have to learn to be a mistress of it. Just fancy you’ve won a nice grand piano in the lottery. Does it mean that you’ll become a pianist after that? Frosya: But it’s impossible to win! Professor: But in case you’ve succeeded in it! Frosya: You won’t ever win. Once me and my mom bought a pair of bulletins and won little! Just enough to buy a comb for our Mishka! Professor: What a dark lass you are, Burlakova! To talk with you is difficult. Frosya: Duh! Better to go on with my training! Professor: You’re welcome!
SCHUBERT`S SERENADE - IN THE BACKGROUND THERE UNFOLD THE PICTURES OF FROSYA`S NEW LIFE IN THE BIG CITY, HER INNOCENT LOVE AND SUCCESSFUL LEARNING IN THE INSTITUTE
Unfortunately, Frosya is willfully, without permission forcing her voice in a vacant classroom.
CHAPTER SIX: THROUGH THE THORNS TO THE STARS
COME TOMORROW (Приходите завтра) 1:18:26 - 1:33 ( total 1:33)
CHANCELLOR`S OFFICE Professor: I’m hearing you, Dennis Ivanovich. Chancellor: The matter is, Alexandre Alexandrovich. Some of your, so to say, students take offence at you! Professor: Really? Take offence that they’re not Chalipins and Nezhdanovas! Chancellor: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! What a biting person you are! They take offence that you pay not enough attention for them! They say you spend most of your time just with four pupils of yours! Professor: Oh, so`s the way they feel it? Then, who are those four persons, may I ask you to name them? Chancellor: In particular, this new girl student! Professor: I see! Who else, d`you know? Why do I pay them more attention, just ask me! Chancellor: Their names are familiar with us, Alexandre Alexandrovich. We are well aware of the fact that some may have their certain likings and dislikings ... But the educational principles... Professor: But the educational principles if they could be applied all the way would require to teach just those four students in the institute. This would be in educational interests. Chancellor: But Alexandre Alexandrovich, Alexandre Alexandrovich... We must teach all the students, educate... Professor: I wish I could never educate the mediocrity! I wish I could never, do you understand it? I’ve had enough of that rotten equity. We have to defile our profession, but why? We ought to have not! There enough of... Chancellor(interrupting him with `percussioning` a glass on his table with a little hammer to let him know that they can be heard behind the door): Alexandre Alexandrovich! Professor: Don’t be worry, Dennis Ivanovich! I strictly follow the requirements of the curriculum and distribute my classes among all the students evenly. Chancellor: Fine! That’s what I wanted to hear! Professor: Unfortunately! As to my extra classes, I only train those whom I want to, exclusively in my spare, free time. Chancellor: Well. Now, so to say, all’s clear for me. Professor: Can I be free now? Chancellor: Yes, Alexandre Alexandrovich, if you will (hand-shaking). IN THE INSTITUTE - IN THE HALLWAY Professor is hearing that Frosya is forcing her voice behind the door! He’s knocking at the door. Professor: Open up, ma`am! Open up now, Burlakova! Immediately! (Professor has to break the door!) What’s happening here? (noticing Frosya creeping behind his back) Where to? What are you doing in here? Frosya(in her lost voice): Me? Passing by I noticed a free class and made up my mind to train a little bit more. Suddenly, I heard your rat-tat, rat-tat... Professor: What? Get out! Frosya: What have you said? Professor: Get out! Out of the institute! As soon as possible, to the doctor! IN THE STREET The Guy: Today you are improbably early! Where shall we go? Well, then. Don’t you feel cold? Is it true, they say that an artist, sculptor in your circles destroyed all his pictures, turned his wife out of their home, left for somewhere and then ruined himself with drink? Went mad, don’t you think so? Nonsense! Those fellas not know when they’re well off! Well. Have you noticed that every time we date we only discuss pictures, artists, musicians, but to incessantly tell about your vocal cords isn’t too interesting! I feel we have nothing in common, by the way! You even don’t give a damn for my waiting for you here that takes up to a couple of hours. I wait. What do I wait for? Tell me something! What? Why? Frosya: I’ve got a sore throat, I’ve lost my voice. The Guy: How? Frosya: Sang the highest note! The Guy: Why, why did you do it? (rhetorically) What note? So ... you must not spend time outdoors in the cold weather, aren’t I right? Then go home! Go, go! IN THE TRAM Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Frosya! Take my seat! Frosya: Don’t stand up! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Sit down! Frosya: Have you been in the hospital? Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Why? I haven’t been, tough I’ve been really `ill` for a long time. But now I’m getting better step by step. Frosya: You’re looking so emaciated! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Simply unshaven! Does it really matter? What matters is that I have now many happy days and nights! Frosya: Do you turn day into night? Nikolai Vasiliyevich: I do! Frosya: You’ve changed. Very much. Absolutely. Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Have I? Frosya: You have! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Well, may be. I sought for me myself, travelled a lot, and worked much. And I seem to have grasped something. But I don’t know if this is the truth or not. The art suggests the search. You know the artiste shouldn’t stand pat. Let’s go to us, Frosya. Natasha will be very glad to see you. Frosya: I can’t. I can’t speak and talk. I’m ill. Nikolai Vasiliyevich: That’s pity. I thought you would sing to us! I never heard you singing. In any case if you would go you could just sit with us. We’ve got a little family holiday; I’d be pleased very much too. I’ll warn everyone, so you will keep silence all the time. Let’s go with me! Boris! They are all here! Already. IN THE INSTITUTE - IN THE CLASS Lady Accompanist: No, Sasha! You shouldn’t have paused here! And, besides, don’t accelerate the tempo from the words `How`d I like ....`. Professor: Veronika Vasiliyevna, I’m sorry ... Oh, look who it ain't! Frosya: Hello! Professor: Burlakova in the flesh! Where are you from, my nice kid? What about your voice? Frosya: Good. The doctor said I could sing again. Professor: So we’ll start training little by little. (to a stranger) Whom are looking for? Stranger: May I see Burlakova in here? Professor(to Frosya): Go! But be back in an hour. We gonna start. Frosya: Thank you! Stranger: Frosya, I am on behalf of Kostya! He’s leaving now. Frosya: Where to? Stranger: He asked me to pass you this note. I don’t know to where. A practical study or something like that. He asked, I passed.
IN THE RAILWAY STATION Frosya: Kostya! Kostya! Shout please: Kostya! Passenger: Louder! (lifting and showing a little boy) Frosya: Not this, the bigger one! Lady Conductor: Where to ... Step aside from the train. Girl, step aside, please. IN THE CLASS Frosya:
Коль любить, так без рассудку,?/Коль грозить, так не на шутку, //Коль ругнуть, так сгоряча,//Коль рубнуть, так уж сплеча!//Коли спорить, так уж смело, //Коль карать, так уж за дело,//Коль простить, так всей душой,//Коли пир, так пир горой!
If to love then as in sonnets,
If to threaten then in earnest.
If to scold then just by chance,
If to chop then in two halves!
If to argue then sans frisson,
If to punish then for reason,
If to pardon then heart and soul,
If to feast the feast for all. (Trans. Andrei Alexandre Owie)
Professor: How does your singing take you? Frosya: In my opinion, so so. Professor: What have you said? Frosya: So so! Professor: Really. Nothing to boast of. In my opinion, it’s bad. What are YOU thinking about now? Frosya: I have no idea! Professor: Nor have I! You should only think about what you are singing! You should live those thoughts, that music. Do park you suitcase! You came here to learn, so try your best to work like a horse. If you can’t, if you do not want, then go away! Time of easy successes has passed, soon gonna pass, it must pass! Is it clear? Frosya: Clear! Professor: I see you’ve got some troubles, problems. Frosya: Yes! Professor: I would like to ask you to repeat everything anew! THE END
COMMENTS
Renyxa - the word from Anton Chekhov`s Three sisters, 1900: Act IV:
KULYGIN. A teacher at a divinity school wrote "nonsense" at the bottom of an essay and the pupil puzzled over it thinking it was a Latin word . . . [laughs]. It was terribly funny . . . . . . . . : The joke is that the Russian word for nonsense, chepukha, when written in Cyrillic cursive can be read as renixa in Latin.
THE EVENING SERENADE
Franz Schubert, Ludwig Rellstab - Ständchen sung by Ekaterina Savinova.
Frosya Burlakova (Ekateria Savinova) perfoms Franz Schubert`s Serenade from Ludwig Rellstab`s poem Ständchen (vocal cycle (`Schwanengesang` (Swan Song)) in translation by Nikolai Petrovich Ogarev (1813-1877). This translation was made in 1840 for I.I. Panayev`s novelette `Akteon` (published in 1841). That novellete was forgotten long ago, but translation lives! It`s singable. There was another translation made by Alexei Nikolayevich Apukhtin (1840-1893) in 1857 (`Ночь уносит голос страстный...`). It`s more loose than the quite accurate translation by Ogarev, besides not finished. That’s pity, because it’s interesting and singable too.
In 1842 Ogarev had supper with Ferenc Liszt in Berlin. He remembered in his memoirs: ` The supper was attended by poet Rellstab, this intolerable creature. A dry critic. The Evening Seranade (Ständchen) is his best work.
Contemporaries: Ludwig Rellstab and Nikolai Ogarev
But he tried to convince us that Schubert had spoiled his poem. He`s an unbearable fool!` («За ужином был поэт Рельштаб – несносное существо. Сухой критик. "Вечерняя серенада" ("Ständchen") - его лучшее произведение. Он уверяет, что Шуберт испортил его стихи. Дурак нестерпимый»).
Rellstab-Schubert `s Ständchen (1912-2013) Sung by Hungarian superstar Márta Eggerth in the film about Schubert.
Anton Schindler (1795-1864) wrote that initially Rellstab wanted Beethoven to set his poems to music, but the latter had died by that time. As to Ludwig Rellstab (1799-1860)he refrained from criticizing Schubert in his memoirs `From my life` published in 1861 possibly because his Ständchen (`Leise flehen meine Lieder `) set to music by Schubert became the world-famous hit.
Last but no least. You may find that Savinova`s interpretation was worse or less spectacular than those of the other singers of that song.
Ekaterina Savinova
The matter, however, is that it is not a concert performance or record, it is but a part of a very simple and young girl, starting singer which is played by Ekaterina Savinova in the motion picture. As to her own, Ekaterina Savinova`s mature, sophisticated and perfect interpretations, records they were totally lost.
DEPRESSION IS A WORKING CONDITION OF AN ARTIST(E)
The character of Nikolai Vasiliyevich, the sculptor, aroused suspicions as someone came to conclusion that his prototype could be the official sculptor Nikolai Vasiliyevich Tomsky (born as Grishin)(1900-1984). This was quite silly. In my humble opinion, Evgeniy Tashkov meant other prototypes, I mean the Russian sculptors Ivan Chadre and Romuald Jodko. I observed that one of the works by Chadre, Portrait of Mother in the Tretyakov Gallery was almost a replica of Nikolai Vasiliyevich`s Housekeeper.
Ivan Chadre - Portrait of Mother (bronze), The Tretyakov Gallery
And the second clue was the sculpture of the Oar Girl that Frosya destroyed in Nikolai Vasiliyevich Studio. She stepped back and pushed it down while having a good look and admiring another work which, as we get to know from the movie, Nikolai Vasiliyevich `made for the folks` when he was in his third year in the institute. We never saw that sculpture in the feature film; we just witnessed the response of the fim characters. It made me think that Evgeniy Tashkov had confronted not only two sculptures, one that we watched in the motion picture, and another one that was never shown. He was likely to have confronted two Oar Girls! The first, standard, material, duplicated, enabling to get good money (that Frosya blew to bits). And the second sculpture, ideal work which fully expressed the sculptor’s inner world and was admired by people. By the way, we can also see the gypsum head of the sculptor in his studio quite before Frosya`s mess. The unseen sculpture had remained intact even after Nikolai Vasiliyevich ruined all his works in his own studio.
In 1934 the Russian sculptor Ivan Dmitriyevich Chadre [shadr] (born Ivanov) (1887-1941) created the statue of the Oar Girl (or the Girl with an Oar (Девушка с веслом) by the order of the administration of the Gorky Central Park, main cultural playground in Moscow of that time (opened in Moscow in 1928). The girl had her left hand on her hip and right hand held an upright oar. Her hair was tightly swept up forming two horn-like curls. In 1935 the statue was placed over the park's central fountain right behind the central entrance to the Gorky Park. (All in all, the Gorky Park administration ordered 50 statues, and the bigger sculpture by Chadre should have become the semantic centre of the whole composition, park's centerpiece, symbol of the modern, moreover Soviet athletism).
Chadre and his statue in his studio. Photo by Alexandre Greenberg from the journal `The Soviet Art`, #33 (17 July 1935)
But having created the Girl with an Oar and expressed his own, personal aesthetic ideal, out of time and space and containing no emotional appeal, the sculptor disappointed the authority, critics and general public. A critic wrote in the very first review of the statue (The Evening Moscow daily, 11 August 1935): `We witness a playing on the vulgar erotic figurativeness. The oar has lost here its direct meaning and turned out to be an obvious phallic symbol. It refers to a rowlock where an oar is put into … Then we must remember that the naked girl rower with her erected nipples became a decoration of the fountain which throws water in the way the sperm is ejaculated…. `.
After it had been severely criticized, Ivan Chadre was offered to have it placed in any central park of any city of the USSR which would agree to accept it and to pay for its transportation and installation. So it was placed under the above-mentioned conditions in the Gorky Park in Lugansk (that time Voroshilovgrad after the name of the then Soviet minister of defense), New Russia, where it stood several years among the weeping willows in the park.
The Oar Girl in Voroshilovgrad (Lugansk)
By the way, the local folks liked it very much. Then it disappeared, either it was destroyed by the direct hit of a shell during the war or one of the Red Army generals or, maybe, of the Wehrmacht generals secretly moved it to his estate.
The first Girl with an Oar was photographed by Alexandre Greenberg in 1935 in the sculptor’s studio. This photo, photo of this statue in Lugansk in exile and the model of a head,
as well as the bronze small (117х79х34) model in the Tretyakov Gallery,
cast from the plaster by Vladimir Lukianov by request of Chadre`s widow in 1956, remained the only witnesses of its existence. The height of the sculpture was about 4 metres. That Girl with an Oar had a male’s steel muscles, but was very sexy as a girl; she made an impression of a fighter and woman victor. Experts can’t exclude that it was Athena Lemnia (Athena of Lemnos) by Phidias who must have held a spear for an oar that served as an example for the Girl with an Oar. Reconstruction of Athena Lemnia (Athena of Lemnos) (450 B.C.) by Phidias, Dresden
But Chadre could have examples in the Pre-Revolutionary Art of Russia, enough to remember the Boat House (where Peter the Great`s favourite boat is) in The Peter and Paul Fortress (St. Petersburg).
It is crowned with the sculpture of the ... Oar Girl! That sculpture of Allegory of Navigation by David Ivanovich Jensen (1816-1902) was placed in 1891.
David Jensen Allegory of Navigation, 1891
The model for the Oar Girl was Vera Voloshina, a 15-year old student of the Moscow Institute of Physical Culture, an athletic-looking fair-haired beauty. She was sportive just in the athletic meaning of the word as she felt extremely shy being naked before the sculptor who was 37 years old that time, and sculptor’s wife was present in the studio by her request.
Noteworthy that the sculptor’s working title of the sculpture was Lola, it had been two decades before there was written and published the world-famous novel Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, so both works of art has anything to do with the sportive, though not athletic archetype.
In September 2011 the first Chadre`s Girl with an Oar was re-installed by initiative of the Russian Rowing Association in its initial place in the Gorky Park in Moscow.
Natalia Muromtseva
The small bronze model in the Tretyakov Gallery, Alexandre Greenberg’s photo and copy of its head discovered in the storeroom of the Tretyakov Gallery were used by sculptor Natalia Muromtseva and her husband for a reproduction, an image reconstruction. Nowadays sculpture’s height is 3 metres. It`s tint concrete cast. It’s made less expressive than the Chadre’s original which breathed love of his model Vera Voloshina and followed the expressive, ecstatic style of his French teacher Aristide Maillol.
The resurrected Oar Girl in the Gorky Park, Moscow
The modern interpretation of a Chadre’s iconic masterpiece is much more calm and academic. But it’s still related to the `water mythology` of Ancient Greece which in its turn is related to the images of the athletic, victorious and guiding woman as a symbol of eternal life. It implies the polysemantic erotic and sexual symbolism.
Besides, it’s a monument to Vera Voloshina who was a model and prototype. In 1941 Vera Voloshina who volunteered to become a member of the subversive and reconnaissance detachment died. She’d been in the enemy's rear seven times before she was wounded, caught by the Nazi Feldpolizei, severely tortured in the Gestapo and hanged on the weeping willow which is still growing there in a near Moscow village by the SD-SS-men in presence of the Russian prisoners of war. She said no word, betrayed nobody.
By the way, she was much more so called `Aryan` by her appearance than many of her German executioners over whom she triumphed as Nike, The Winged Victory and occurred to be morally higher and much more courageous even in comparison with her compatriots, Russian men who witnessed her death. There’s the third version of the full constructive loss of the statue, it was blew to bits by the Germans as that statue refuted the Nazi myth of the lower racial standards of the Slav population. Monument to Vera Voloshina, Hero of Russia, in Kryukovo Village, Naro-Fiminsky district, Moscow Region
As to Ivan Chadre, love of fame was his strongest and the weakest point. Even his pseudonym `Chadre` which sounds in the French way for the Russian ears was formed from the name of his native city Shadrinsk.
M.V. Nesterov Portrait of sculptor Chadre
Chadre used to say that he did it to fame his birthplace! As a sculptor he belonged to the French school, his teachers were Bourdelle, Rodin, but mainly and permanently Aristide Maillol.
Aristide Maillol
Before revolution he was a modernist. After the revolution he was a romanticist, then a neoclassicist. In 1927 he created an iconic sculpture of `The Cobblestone is the Weapon of the Proletariat`.
The Cobblestone is the Weapon of the Proletariat (Булыжник - орудие пролетариата) (1927)(from 1938 - bronze) by Ivan Chadre, Tretyakov Gallery
Like the Oar Girl it became a legend in Russia. Besides, he created the gravestone to Joseph Stalin`s wife Nadezhda Alliluyeva.
Ivan Chadre - Gravestone of Nadezhda Alliluyeva (wife of Joseph Stalin) (marble, labradorite) in the Novodevichiy Cemetery (1939)
In case with Aliluyeva Chadre had to fulfill the order quite quick, and he had to find the right solution, and he had to have a photograph as the only model. He managed to solve this artistic task brilliantly. It saved him forever from the attention of the secret police and intrigues of the envious colleagues and too ideological critics whose verdicts could become the GULAG voucher. In a word, Lucky Chadre contrived to get the lifelong safe conduct from the first person of the state, though he wasn’t ever the Stalin`s favorite sculptor.
After confronting the unacceptance of his statue of The Oar Girl, or The Girl with an Oar (his dear Lola) Chadre fell into depression. But depression is a working condition of an artist(e)! In 1936 Chadre created a new variant of the Oar Girl, and this time the model was the Russian gymnast Zoya Bedrinskaya who became a famous Soviet architect decades later. Chadre had been shaping the head of his second nu model for three months, and it also took three months to shape its body. The height of the new statue also cast of tint concrete was about 8 metres. It was put in the same place where the first statue stood. In 1941 it was destroyed as a result of a Moscow raid of the Luftwaffe. The second sculpture was less physiological and muscular, more slender and romantic despite its basketball stature (its height was 12 metres including the pedestal).
Zoya Bedrinskaya (married name Belorucheva) confessed her being that very Chadre`s model only when she was more than 60 years old. She remembered that Chadre had explained that the sculpture must not be a mere figure, it must live! She remembered the sculptor’s everyday visiting his statue in the Gorky park after it had been installed there over a long period of time.
As the first statue, the second one also preserved the sensual attitude. That attitude and statue’s staying in the public place were considered to be as a new erotic challenge! What was appropriate in the late 20s and early 30s were not welcomed in the prewar time in the USSR. But this explanation though truthful remains insufficient and too simplistic.
The director of the Gorky Park (from 1932 to 1937) Betty Glan (Betty Naumovna Glan (1903-1992)) who was interviewed by The Evening Moscow daily (10 May, 1936) told that public had been irritated by the `lazy` static nature of the 12-metre statue by Chadre which seemed too stretched, refined, unmanlike (!) and `must be hardly knowing how to handle her oar` (comments of the Gorky Park visitors who while observing the first sculpture used to blame its author for statue’s maleness and muscularity). It was noticed as well, this time by the sophisticated visitors, that Athena Parthenos Ἀθηνᾶ Παρθένος (Athena the Virgin) by Phidias had also been 12 metres high when it was housed in the Parthenon in Athens and that the sculptor combined two ideals, that of antiquity (a posture of the victorious goddess) and that of the modern sports. The third group of the critics paid attention to the fact that the statue awakened male sensuality with its ataraxy and that that cool and indifferent hetaera just wanted to be admired being an embodiment of the communal body. The latter comments anticipated Umberto Eco`s thought about `the sublimated erotic fury, a sly frigidity, a disinterested adaptability to the partner’s response, a taste for arousing desire without suffering the excess of one’s own` (Umberto Eco `Foucault’s Pendulum`, Published by Vintage, 2011, p. 222).
Sometimes people think that it’s the Chadre`s sculpture that became a model for all the oar girls that stood in parks throughout the USSR. But the author of that model sculpture of the Oar Girl was another Soviet sculptor of the Polish origin Romuald Romualdovich Jodko [yo-] (Ромуальд Ромуальдович Иодко) (1894-1974).
Romuald Jodko
Romuald Jodko was an excellent and not minor sculptor, neoclassicist, academician, professor, but he was practical, had got the repressed relatives, and preferred to make a tribute to Soviet athleticism rather than to beauty. Voluntarily or not, he created a great kitsch and one of the Soviet cultural icons which none took seriously, but only ironically, and which rather soon became a victim of loss of freshness of vision. In the late 60s they seemed very funny in both meanings of this word. Romuald Jodko The Oar Girl (1936)
He created two model statues for the children's playgrounds and theme parks. His sculptures could not be nu by default. The first sculpture of the Jodko`s Oar Girl wearing T-shirt and shorts, was placed in 1935 in the Moscow stadium `Elektrik` in Cherkizovo district. The second one, wearing swimsuit, which was 2,5 metres high and had an oar in its left hand, was made of gypsum and placed in the park of the water stadium `Dynamo `in 1936. Thus, Jodko`s Oar Girls wore either swimwears or bras or T-shirts and shorts. These model figures had been duplicated and spread around the USSR for three decades. They were being produced industrially, and enriched both Jodko and an army of his imitators, the minor sculptors in the USSR. The Oar Girl by Jodko only competed with the Lenin statues in prevalence that time. It was an unintentional caricature of the lost Chadre`s masterpiece, so none could compare both works. Romuald Jodko took into consideration the anti-Soviet aesthetic blunder of his colleague, Chadre, and concealed the erected nipples and rejected the seductive postures.
Paradoxically, the Soviet public complained of ... the coolness of the Chadre`s hot nus! They felt a harassing oxymoron in stone! They couldn’t accept these masterpieces of the neoclassicism but they eagerly accepted the gypsum girls next door! Social realism was their art then! Though critics all the same were not pleased with Jodko`s Oar Girls either, especially with the one wearing the swimsuit, they had to put up with them. At the least, unlike the artistic sculptures by Chadre the figures shaped by Jodko no longer seemed to be the bizarre combination of The Venus of Milo and The Discobolus from their point of view. But in the final analysis Chadre`s statue proved to be more lasting and long-lived, and not occasionally revisited not as a part of a Russian wave of nostalgia for the USSR, but as the natural result of no less natural returning to the basic cultural traditions of the Eastern Roman Empire (in my humble opinion).
It’s interesting that Romuald Jodko was the author of another sculpture which became a world-famous after it had been photographed by reporter E. Evzerikhin right after bombing of the Stalingrad downtown during the Stalingrad battle. The reporter showed the sharp contrast between the statues of the children performing merry round dance and Stalingrad in terrible ruins in the background. It became a symbol of the Stalingrad battle as one of the earthly Armageddons. The photo was dated back to 23 August of 1942.
That sculpture group like the Jodko`s dressed oar girls was being also industrially reproduced registers of the children’s playgrounds and cultural parks and squares in the pre-war USSR. It was an illustration of the children’s fairy-tale in verse `Barmaley` (1924) by Korney Chukovsky (1882-1969). Six children three little girls and three little boys were dancing around the crocodile and frogs which were fountains. This famous fountain and sculpture ensemble can also be seen in the computer games of the Commandos 3: Destination Berlin and Red Orchestra 2: Heroes of Stalingrad.
Animated cartoon `Barmaley` (Бармалей) (1941) (by Leonid Amalrik, Vladimir Polkovnikov) from the Korney Chukovsky`s poem for children. Evil robber and pirate Barmaley is depicted as a capitalist, colonialist and imperialist. Crocodile swallows him from 13:11 to13:15.
In a Rolland Bykov (1929-1998) feature film `Aibolit 66` (Oh How It Hurts 66) (1966) where Barmaley is played by film director himself that villain is but a big, but naughty boy. `He articulates the essence of Stalinist Communism - how to make all people happy` by violence and against their will, but kind and reasonable Dr. Feelgood (literally `Oh-it-hurts`) warns the young filmgoers of the USSR that Barmaley`s `philosophy` is not appropriate any longer in the 60s of the 20 c.
`Aibolit 66` (Oh How It Hurts 66) - a fragment with English subtitles.
In a loose English adaptation in verse published in 1967 Aibolit was entitled `Doctor Concocter`. In 2004 there appeared a new, excellent translation made by Ms. Jan Seabaugh - Doctor Ouch (`Good old Dr. Ouch, M.D. sits and works beneath the tree. Are you hurting anywhere? Come into the doctor’s care! ... all feel better once they see gentle Dr. Ouch, M.D.`). http://www.amazon.com/Doctor-Ouch-Kornei-Chukovsky/dp/0974055107
IF … THEN, OR VISUAL BASIC OF THE ART
The poem `If to love then as in sonnets,//If to threaten then in earnest….` (`Octave`) was written by Alexei Konstantinovich Tolstoy (1817-1875) and published in the literary journal `Sovremennik` (The Contemporary), #4, 1854. His name is well known in Russia, and 70 poems of his were set to music by Rimsky-Korsakov, Tchaikovsky, Mussorgsky, Anton Rubinstein and other Russian composers. Strictly speaking, this poem which is often regarded as an expression of the national character of the Russian people on the whole was just his own, individual, bright self-description. He was really very straight, not ready for compromising. This poem was set to music several times, by Yu. N. Golitsyn in 1874, A.G. Rubinstein in 1877, I.A. Borodin in 1893, N.N. Cherepnin (for choir) in 1902, César Cui in 1904, Rheingold Glière in 1906. There were also N.F. Soloviev, V.A. Zolotarev, etc.
Karl Brüllow Portrait of Alexei Konstantinovich Tolstoy
Alas! I can’t tell you who was a composer of the song performed by Frosya in the film. It’s likely to be either Anton Grigoriyevich Rubinstein (1829-1894) or César Cui (Cesarius-Benjaminus Cui, the Russian composer of the French and Lithuanian descent)( (1835-1918).
Rheingold Glière
But much more often the Russian singers perform the variant offered by Rheingold Moritzevich Glière (Rheingold Ernest Glière) (1874-1956), a Russian composer of German and Polish origin (his father and his Polish wife had emigrated from Klingenthal to Russia soon after his birth).
`Octave` by Alexei Konstantinovich Tolstoy and Rheingold Ernest Glière Sung By Yuri Guliaev. Accompanist - Rosalia Trochmann.
It is not out of place to remember another great Russian German Svyatoslav Theofilovich Richter who wrote: `If to do something, then to do all the way, be never distracted. To do as it was written by Alexei Tolstoy: `If to love, then as in sonnets,//If to threaten then in earnest….`(`Если уж что-то делать, то делать до конца, не отвлекаясь. Как у Алексея Толстого: `Коль любить, так без рассудку, //Коль грозить, так не на шутку …`) . On the other hand, Richter once confessed: `Though music is the main thing of my life, it’s still not all my life!` His wife Nina Dorléac, however, witnessed: `If he reads, he re-reads, if he plays piano, he plays forevermore`.
RICHTER: ARTISTE AND ARTIST
Svyatoslav Richter: `I don’t like to watch movies about musicians. The faces of the playing pianists irritate me, especially my own face. On the whole, I can’t understand why it’s necessary to look at a playing pianist. It’s enough to listen to him for me. In this respect television interferes with the proper perception of music`.
Young Slava Richter playing the part of Ferenc Liszt in the motion picture `Composer Glinka`
A superstar of the 19 c., great Hungarian pianist and composer Ferenc Liszt , or as he was called that time Franz Liszt (Actor pianist Svyatoslav Richter), performing in front of the Russian High society. High society coxcomb: Bravo! Our home-made composers shoulda listened to that music! MC: Mesdames et messieurs! Monsieur Liszt is going to improvise on the theme which you might be very kind as to offer him! High society coxcomb: Pardonmadame! Liszt: I am being offered various fragments by Mozart, Haydn, Beethoven! Here’s, however, the excellent theme! Absolutely new and original! High Official: My dear! Take any troika (carriage-and-three.- AAO) at once and bring here Mikhail Ivanovich Glinka! (M.M. Glinka (1804-1857), the first Russian great national composer. - AAO). Hurry up! High Society Lioness: He is going to surprise us! Next Seat Lady: I think it is his own music! After Liszt’s improvisation audience is calling the author of the theme. Liszt: I wish I knew the author! In any case, I ascertain he`s a genius! High Official: Ladies and gentlemen! I’ll open you this secret. Mister Liszt has performed a theme from a new Russian opera `Ruslan and Lyudmila` by our composer Mikhail Ivanovich Glinka. Liszt: May I meet him? High Official: He’s here! Glinka`s Wife: Go, Mishen`ka, go! Liszt (stretching his hand): Franz Liszt! Glinka: Glinka!
Portait of Svyatoslav Richter By German Operatic Singer Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau
Richter: I don’t like property. I like to travel. I like to change places. I try never to stay in the same hotel. I am likely to have a bit of a Gipsy in me.
Richter: I do not want to tell about France anything but good! … Paris is a special city for pianists. Arthur Rubinstein told that he had been touring for a decade round all the countries of Europe before he ventured to play in Paris at last.
Svetik, this is my hand! This is dirt! Dirt!
Richter: Italy is the only and unique country.
Svyatoslav Richter. A Beijing Street
Richter: Japan is original, being there you understand that a tradition is a very good thing. You feel astonished at their politeness, civility, attentiveness and taste. Their perception of religion is different from the Western one, not exalted, but everyday. In general there co-exist many mutually exclusive things in Japan.
Svyatoslav Richter. View of Moscow
Richter: Moscow is a city of contrasts where everything takes root. Foreign becomes native. Beautiful is walking hand in hand with ugly, houses of one style are close to those of the absolutely different style at times, but they go with the other inherently.
Richter: Unfortunately, I am not quick on the uptake of poetry, as to sculptures I prefer the antique ones. Ballet is quite a `lame` art. It is not on friendly terms with the big music. I love painting and theatre best of all. ... I’ve been painting since my childhood. To draw my pastels I began in early 50s at Anna Ivanovna Troyanovskaya, my close friend, a pupil of Serov, Pasternak (artist Leonid Pasternak - father of Boris Pasternak. - AAO) and Matisse.
Anna Troyanovskaya. Portrait of Svyatoslav Richter
She was a passionate admirer of El Greco. We met in the end of war in the house of Natalie Nikolayevna Volokhova-Kramova and I regularly took her lessons.
Svyatoslav Richter. They carry a barrage balloon
... It was time when Falk guided me out of his kindness supporting my yearning for painting.
Svyatoslav Richter. Twighlight in Skatetny Lane
... I can’t watch many pictures. At least, five-ten. Or else my eye starts being out of tune. (Artist Robert Rafailovich Falk (1886-1956) said that if Richter hadn’t been a great pianist, he would have been a nice artist).
Oscar Kokoshka. Portrait of Svyatoslav Richter
There was time when I couldn’t utterly utter anything, especially in presence of certain people. It was not necessarily because they were antipathetic to me. On the contrary, sometimes people whom I held in high respect and loved provoked my state close to dumbness.
A MASTERPIECE IS BUT A SUM OF THE FELICITOUS DETAILS
COME TOMORROW. THE 20 C. RUSSIAN CLASSICAL CINE NOVELLETTE
CHAPTER THREE: STARVING OUT
COME TOMORROW (Приходите завтра) 28:18 - 48:00 (total 1:33)
We see Frosya`s good look at the girls passing by, her own dress and shop windows. Bamby in one of them has got spots reminding of her polka dot frock. A stuffed squirrel in a shop window is evoking memories of her taiga home. When back at home she’s writing a letter:
`Dear mom! Remember me to Kol`ka (short for Nikolai), Manya (short for Maria. -AAO), Katya, Lenochka (Elena.-AAO) and Mishka (Mikhail.-AAO). Remember me also to uncle Styopa (Stephen. - AAO), aunt Anfisa, Niura (Anna. - AAO) Pakseyeva and her mother Daria Ivanovna, the Savinovs if they haven`t moved out yet, Valya (Valentina.-AAO) Konyova, the Volgovs, grandad Trofimovich, Egorka, Vanya Sergeyev and his father who brought us hay last winter. Now about Gavrilina Katya. Did she marry or not? She’d been about before I went. Aunt Marfa told lies, none clean the streets with soap here, asphalt is everywhere and the streets are cleaned with sprinklers. Cars and people are a lot, it is terrible so many! People go in single file, but some go in one direction while the other ones go in the different one. Incessantly! And none says hello! I saw the Kremlin. It occurred to be made of bricks, brick-red. I don’t know what to write about me. Nothing to write about! But I won’t come back, of course. Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Where have you been? Frosya: I’ve been walking in the streets. Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Mm. ... (glancing at his wrist watch) We are late for the theatre, it`s a fact. Well. Let’s go somewhere and snatch a mouthful. Frosya: Sir, are you kidding? At such a late hour? Why to go anywhere? Here it is! (taking out food she’d brought from Siberia) I’ve got all we need. Nikolai Vasiliyevich: We’ll eat it ... later. Now get dressed for a restaurant. Housekeeper: Again the restaurant? Frosya: I won’t go. Housekeeper: You should. He won’t leave you alone! Frosya: Well, then I go. Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Are you ready? Not gonna have on your mom’s another party dress? Frosya: Nope, not gonna. Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Then let’s go. (to a little girl after coming out of the entrance) Good evening, Svetlana! Little girl: Hi!
IN THE CAR Frosya (to Nikolai Ivanovich`s lady friend): Hi! Natasha: My name’s Natasha! Frosya: Frosya! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: No need to introduce yourselves? Natasha: No, you needn`t. Frosya: So let’s go! IN THE RESTAURANT Natasha(to a waiter): Chicken Kiev, please! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: What about you, Frosya? Frosya: Only tea. Six glasses. (explaining to everybody) Me and my mommy always drink tea after bath with raspberry jam. Or five, if six glasses are too many.
Boris Mikhailovich Kustodiyev (1978-1927) `Merchant`s Wife At Tea` (1918)
Nikolai Vasiliyevich (taking situation under his control and ordering for all): Chicken Kiev. Beef steak medium. Chicken tabaka. Appetizers at your choice. A bottle of dry wine. 150 g of cognac. The rest will be ordered later. Waiter: What about tea? Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Tea too! Natasha: Feel tired? Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Not much, though after the conferences you feel much more tired than after work. Natasha: Miss them! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: I can’t afford of it. I am a person in charge. Natasha: I see Frosya is growing sad. Frosya: No, I am not. Natasha: Really? Frosya: A good restaurant. (reading the menu) What for the figures are here? Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Prices! Frosya: Prices? Let’s go out of here! Right now! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Let’s better dance, Frosya! Frosya: But I can’t! (looking around) Just see! They really dance in here! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Frosya came to conquer the world! To her always having luck! I drink to you, Frosya! Frosya: I don’t drink! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: To drink to your own happiness is a must! Frosya: Thank you! (taking a smaller glass with Nikolai Vasiliyevich`s cognac from his hand instead of the bigger one full of dry wine) This one is smaller! (taking Nikolai Vasiliyevich`s bread and sneeze it as the peasants do after a drink) DANCE MUSIC Nikolai Vasiliyevich(noticing the waiter with several glasses of tea): Oh, tea!
V. Nesterenko Sweets and bread-rings (1997)
Frosya: May I have some bread too? Natasha: Where’s mine? Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Drink wine, Frosya! Frosya: No! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Let’s go home! I have to get up early in the morning. Why is all that food? I could cook it myself at home. Natasha: Why will you have to get up early? Frosya: Professor said he would accept me at six a.m. Nikolai Vasiliyevich: At six p.m. indeed! Frosya: You think so? Nikolai Vasiliyevich: There is none in the institute at such an early hour. Frosya: Now I doubt if it was him who said it, what if not him? Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Who else then? Frosya: I came here in vain! The exams are over! I came late! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: How come! What do you say, Frosya?! Frosya: My mom used to say: `Why do you go that far?` I didn’t obey her! I went! And came late! So take it! More than that I knocked down the woman in your studio! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: What the woman? Frosya: The big one. She had a shovel in her hands (a statue of the Girl with an Oar. - AAO) Into bits! She was, of course ... All the same, it’s a pity. So much clay must have been used! I saw one like that ... in the railway station or where? If I only could buy it! I would have bought it! But none would sell it to me! You’ve got a lot of such statues... Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Never mind, Frosya! That’s no reason for getting upset! Frosya: It's just one thing on top of another! (sobbing) Nikolai Vasiliyevich: If you will I’ll accompany you ... Frosya: To the institute? No! If you go there, I won’t ever go there ... Let’s go home now! Let’s go! (gathering the unfinished food) Where shall we put it all in? A bowl or what? Ah, well and good! Natasha(to Nikolai Vasiliyevich): We’ll wait for you! ENTRANCE Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Maria Semenovna will open the door for you, as to me I gonna drive Natasha home first. Agree? Frosya: All right. Good night! Natasha: Good night, Frosya!
IN THE CAR Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Ha-ha-ha! Natasha: What’s with you? Nikolai Vasiliyevich: I remembered tea! Six glasses! Natasha: But I like her! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: So do I! Natasha: There’s something real in her! Who are her parents? Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Her father died a year and a half ago. He was a forester. They all, all family, lived in the forest. Strictly speaking, he didn’t die; he went hunting and never came back! A bear broke him down! Now mother is for him there. Natasha: Now you are telling it as if it`s her who`s telling. Nikolai Vasiliyevich: But it was she who told me that story. The village was 8 km far from their farm. She covered that distance twice every day on her way to school. Natasha: Oh! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: She’s so far from .... that everything ... Natasha: Or maybe it’s us who are far from her! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Maybe! STAIR LANDING Nikolai Vasiliyevich(to Frosya): Why are you here? Frosya: None opened. IN THE FLAT An illiterate note on the table which reads: `I did all, went to my sister. I’ll be back early in the morning. Maria`. Frosya: Well, gonna get undressed. Having lit his cigarette Nikolai Vasiliyevich is leaving her room. He’s looking at the beautiful statue that we can’t see and pulling the curtain.
IN THE INSTITUTE
Professor is putting on his coat. Frosya has noticed him. Frosya: Oh! Professor Sokolov! You wanted ... no, I wanted ... Professor: If you about entering the institute ... it’s too late now! Frosya: Late! Professor: The exams are over! Frosya: Over! Professor: All the best. Frosya: Must I come tomorrow, yes? Professor: What? How to understand your `come tomorrow`? Frosya: You said it yesterday when you got on a bus. Professor: Did I tell everything yesterday? Frosya: You did! Professor: Maybe you’ve got another matter? What do you want? Frosya: To perform! Professor: To perform?! Frosya: I said the wrong thing! Professor: Hey, dear mother, don’t you seem to come to a wrong place? This is but an institute. People learn here. They don’t perform, they join here. You’re welcome, next year. We shall see when the time comes. All the best and never be late then! TWO STUDENTS OF THE INSTITUTE, VADIM AND VOLODYA, ARE APPROCHING HER: Hello! Frosya: Hello! Vadim: My name is Konstantin Sergeyevich, Stanislavsky! This is my friend, Nemirovich-Danchenko. Frosya: Yes? I heard something about you. Volodya: Of course, that’s natural! Frosya: But why do you look so young? Vadim: Thank you. Ye-a-h! We are the Selection Committee members. Me and Vladimir Ivanovich. Are you not busy now, Vladimir Ivanovich? Volodya: Not in the least. You’re welcome. The room is not engaged now . Vadim: So we could audition you right now! Frosya: Is it true? Oi! Thank you very much! Vadim: Are you a singer or what? Frosya: Yes ... Not, I just want to ... Volodya: To want means to be able! Let’s go! C’mon! This way, please! Frosya: Oi! I am so glad! Vadim: What are you going to sing? Frosya: What do you want me to sing? Vadim: Are you from Yakutia or right from tundra?
Frosya: I’m from Yeltsovka, it’s in Siberia! Vadim: Then sing something Siberian, chastushkas, humorous tunes, or those ... you know there are songs which ... Volodya: Such songs that, how to put it ... Frosya: A-a! Got it! You must be meaning like that: `Uh-uh-uh, uh-uh-uh! The bowie knife and the dog’s ears... Both students: Sh-sh! Stop it! Frosya: The wrong song? Vadim: Très jolie chanson! C’mon, Vladimir Ivanovich gonna accompany you! He’s a great expert on folk lore! Follow me! NIKOLAI VASILIYEVICH`S STUDIO Natasha: Where’s Frosya? Nikolai Vasiliyevich: She’s preparing for the second round. Someone auditions her. But I think that everyone should do what they can, not what everyone wants. She came here in vain. And then, what’s Frosya nowadays? A living fossil, Stone Age! Dark girl! Natasha: But this is what you need now so badly! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: What do you mean? Natasha: Genuineness! When in my library I often ask the visitors: `Did you read this?` And if they feel irony they always answer: `Yes. We did!` But why? I see that they didn’t read it. Nikolai Vasiliyevich (with an evil irony): An interesting experiment! I like it! Natasha: The more older, mature is a person the more lying he or she occurs to be, the more that person is afraid of being regarded as an ignoramus. Nikolai Vasiliyevich: All this requires a proof! In what way am I lying? Natasha: You? Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Yep! Natasha: You tell your colleagues one thing but you tell me the other things about them. Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Right! Natasha: As to your art ... Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Right! You know, I thought what if I would die today, tonight, eh? What will remain after me? This? That? Or that? This is tasteless, that is giftless... I`d been rewarded for all those things. Sank into making The Oar Girls! Just fancy! There’s still a place where they can’t live without her! The other sculptors, however, make the marble bears and muttons ... My studio turned out to be a sinecure! Just look around! There stand dead bodies in here! The art should be genuine, fresh, able to excite, so that everyone could stop and think ... And what is around, in here? Kitch! An unworthy counterfeit of the truth! Natasha: What happened? Nikolai Vasiliyevich: I visited Boris` studio. He was out. I was afraid of meeting him. A coward! I am not shaken, I am crushed! For all my life I have been doing nothing but have been preparing to do something. But Boris ... he’s been doing! That’s the truth of life! The same people, the same images, but the way they are sculptured! I have to redo everything from start! I must be honest-minded and true to myself! IN THE INSTITUTE A student(to a student): A funny girl gives the funny concerts here! Did you hear? Frosya(to Vadim and Volodya): Why are so many people today? Vadim: We couldn’t do anything. They all want to listen ... Volodya: Yes, they do! Vadim: Vladimir Ivanovich, come in. Volodya: Konstantin Sergeyevich, only after you! Vadim: No, please! ... Frosya!
COME TOMORROW (Приходите завтра) 48:00-1:00:54 (total 1:33)
CHAPTER FOUR: STORM AND STRESS
IN THE STUDIO Nikolai Vasiliyevich is working. His housekeeper is cooking a chicken. The phone’s ringing. Nikolai Vasiliyevich(to his housekeeper): I’m out, no matter who’s ringing. Housekeeper(by phone): Aha! Yes, he’s away. Nikolai Vasiliyevich: I don’t know when I’m back! Housekeeper: I don’t know when I’m back! ... Some man. DOORBELL Housekeeper: Who’s there? Frosya: It’s me! Housekeeper: Come in! ... Ours ... he’s been snarling for two days! Never seen him like that before! What dog has bitten him? You don’t go there, sit still. What if he’s angry because you’d destroyed his statue? Frosya: I’ve finished the second round in the institute! Housekeeper: What are the rounds? Frosya: They are like a sieve to winnow people! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Frosya, come here! Housekeeper: Go! Don’t be afraid! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Do you like anything in here? Frosya: Yes, I do. This one ... Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Yes, good. Well, how are you? Frosya: Konstantin Sergeyevich said that all would depend on the third round! Tomorrow! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: It’s ridiculous! How can you rely on this in earnest? Simply ridiculous! Well, of course, I wish you every success ... Konstantin Sergeyevich, who is he? (suddenly suspecting the worst, a frightful practical joke) Who is he?! Frosya: Stanislavsky! Nikolai Vasiliyevich: Ha-ha ... ha-ha-ha! Stanislavsky died in 1938! Not to know it is just shameful!
Boris Kustodiyev `The Beauty` (1915)
IN THE INSTITUTE
Frosya and professor in the hall. She’s looking at him while he is combing his hair. Professor: I’m hearing you! Is it you again? Frosya: It is me again! Professor: It’s amazing! (exit) Frosya: Yes, it is! THE SAME HALL MANY HOURS LATER Professor is descending to the hall His Colleague, Lady: I do not agree with you, Alexandre Alexandrovich! Even an ass can be taught to sing, it depends on the teacher! Professor: It can be, maybe, Maria Gavrilovna, but why to teach the asses? In any case, I have never succeeded in this so far! His Colleague, Lady: You must be kidding! Thank you, Alexandre Alexandrovich! Professor: Best wishes and Good Bye, Maria Gavrilovna! A girl student : Hello! Professor: Hello! Suddenly he’s noticed Frosya sitting on the window-sill in the hall. He is turning back to the cloakroom, accepting his coat and cane. Then he is approaching Frosya. Professor: Hello! Frosya (her eyes are full of tears): Hello! Professor: What's that supposed to mean, this performance?! C’mon, follow me! (noticing a lady accompanist in the hall) Veronika Vasiliyevna, can you spare me ten minutes of your precious time if you are not in haste? Lady Accompanist: You’re welcome, Sir, please. Professor: I have to audition this figure! (pointing out to Frosya) Lady Accompanist: Follow me! Professor (having looked in the class with a little girl eating something in it): Sorry, go on with your lesson! I am really sorry! (to the accompanist) Dinner time! Vadim: Where have you been, dear? It`s high time! (to the professor) Hello, Alexandre Alexandrovich! Professor: Hi! What is in the concert hall? Vadim: Audition! But we can let you have it! Professor: Oh no! That’s impossible! So go on with your audition! (to the accompanist) We’ll find out a place for us somewhere else, I think. Lady Accompanist: Of course! A student: (to another student): When you put down a note from your forehead it doesn’t sound. When you combine your chest and nose, it only sounds properly! Now I am combining, and my voice is like a trumpet! Like that, from here to there! (to the professor) Hello!
Natalie Alexandrovna Grigoriyeva `Still life with samovars` (2009)
Lady Accompanist: Alexandre Alexandrovich! A student(to another student): Just listen! O-o-o! O-o-o! Professor: Why are you crying, my dear? Lessons are in progress everywhere! A student: I’m sorry! Lady Accompanist: Alexandre Alexandrovich! The concert hall has been freed just now! Frosya: The concert hall is already fine with me! Professor: Then let’s go there!
IN THE CONCERT HALL Professor: Well, what are you going to sing? Frosya: Tell what you want! What d`ya need, eh? Professor: Strictly speaking, I do not need anything. It’s you who needs anything, so you sing! Do sing! But better come and stand in front of the piano! Frosya: No, I feel fine here, it’s more appropriate for me to stand here. Professor (rather irritated): Well, good! Do start now! Frosya(coming out from behind the piano): Russian! Folk! Song! Down Pitersky! Music is traditional, words ... I don’t know the authors, maybe, they are also unknown. Sung by Burlakova Frosya!
Professor(with meaning): Well, well! Not bad! What else can you sing, ma`am? Frosya: What can I sing? I can sing a lot! Songs by the Soviet composers, first of all, Aria of Carmen, Aria `Cucaracha`, Oi, Aria of General Gremin, but (addressing to the accompanist) a little higher up, of course! Then, how to call it, The Corneville`s kinda hairdresser ... Professor: The Barber of Seville (Il Barbiere di Siviglia)). Frosya: Right! It’s him really! Professor: Where do you know about this from? Frosya: The village club had got the portable gramophone, there were discs ... Professor: What do you sing from The Barber of Seville? Frosya: From Sevilla? Aria di Rosina! Professor: A good choice! Frosya(to the lady accompanist): Only a little lower up, of course! Shall I sing, eh? Professor: Well, go on with your Rosina! C’mon! Frosya: Aria! Di Rosina! Music is traditional! Professor: Music by Rossini! Frosya: Oi! Right you are! Music by Gee Rossini. Sung by Burlakova! Frosya!
Boris Kustodiyev `Russian Venus` (1926)
CAVATINA DI ROSINA `UNA VOCE POCO FA` (A VOICE A LTTLE WHILE AGO`) , ACT I, THE BARBER OF SEVILLE (IL BARBIERE DI SIVIGLIA) BY GIOACCHINO ROSSINI Frosya is singing not from the beginning, but from the words `Io sono docile, son rispettosa …` (I’m obedient, sweet, loving; I'm gentle, respectful, I let people rule me, guide me) Professor (interrupting her on `e cento trap-p-pole//farò giocar ...`): Enough! Stop it! Frosya: No, no! Only the very end of it! Please! ( `... e cento trap-p-pole//farò giocar//farò giocar//(farò giocar), a-a se`) Professor: Why haven`t you danced this time? Frosya: There’s no need in it now! Professor (to the accompanist): Thank you, Veronika Vasiliyevna! Frosya: Stop! I could sing something loud! Professor: Do you can sing even louder? Frosya: Oh! This is not the word for it! When I performed in our club they could hear me in the directorate! Professor: To yell at the top of her voice can every single fool. Frosya: Not every. I was the only whom they used to send to the amateur arts festival in the regional centre. Professor: What did you do there? Frosya: What did I do? I sang! Professor: Didn’t they criticize you? Frosya: Vice versa. They praised me! Professor(teasingly): I can’t believe it! Did they really do it? Frosya: I cannot judge it. They admired. Professor: Ha-ha-ha! Frosya: So what? Gonna say I don’t do? Professor: No, I am not going to say it. Frosya: Therefore, I do! Professor: That’s what! You should come ... Frosya: ... tomorrow? Professor: Why? Of course not. Come the day after tomorrow. Around 4 p.m. Frosya: 4 p.m. Professor: Will you find me? Frosya: I will! Professor: Now Good bye, Frosya! Lady Accompanist: Good bye! Frosya: Good bye! Professor: Well, Burlakova Frosya, take care! Frosya: Thank you! I wish you the same. Professor: I’ll do my best. TO BE CONTINUED(Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
COMMENTS
Sometimes they say that Savinova played a dark, almost stupid girl. I think that she played a variant of the Funny Girl despite her heavy gait and grotesque clumsiness and ... Crocodile Dundee, of course.
Crocodile Dundee (1986) Theatrical Trailer
She came to enter the music theatrical institute having been not aware of whom were Konstantin Stanislavskiy and Vladimir Nemirovich-Danchenko. She knew only her school and her village’s culture club (they were in Russia in every village that time).
Vladimir Ivanovich Nemirovich-Danchenko (1858-1943)
The first dancing melody which is heard in the restaurant 33:23-35:21 is `The Beautiful Dream` by Theodor Teddy Cosma (1910-2011). It’s performed by the Electrecord Light Music Orchestra (Romania) conducted by him.
Electrecord Light Music Orchestra (Romania)
Theodor Cosma whose real Jewish name was Theodor Zwiebel moved to France from Romania in 1962.
Theodor Cosma
His son, world famous Vladimir Cosma (born in 1940), continued his musical education at The Ecole Normale de Musique de Paris under Nadia Boulanger's guidance. He composed the music for many well known French movies. He`s the greatest melodist.
Like father like son: Vladimir and Theodor Cosma
The second number that can be heard in the restaurant 35:22-38:36 is Delicado(1952), in a style of a Latin American dance the baiao, by the Brazilian composer Valdir Azevedo (1923-1980).
Waldir Azevedo and Seu Conjunto - Delicado (1950)
The author of the original music to the film Andrei Eshpai (born in 1925) arranged it as a samba and added xelophone plus percussion. Composers Dmitry Dmitriyevich Shostakovich and Andrei Yakovlevich Eshpai
Valdir Azevedo was the author of 132 works, mostly in a style of chorro, and he played mandolin and cavaquinho, a small string instrument of the European guitar family with four strings.
Valdir Azevedo
He`s the author of such masterpieces as Brasileirinho, Pedacinhos do Ceu, Chiquita and Ve se Gostas.
Delicado - Waldir Azevedo (aula de cavaquinho)
In the USA the Percy Faith Orchestra's recording of Delicado sold over a million copies. It was also performed as a song to the text by an American lyricist Jack Lawrence. Stan Kenton and Dinah Shore recorded successful cover versions too.
Delicado - Performed by Andy Williams&Jose Feliciano in 1969
THE RUSSIAN FOLK SONG `DOWN PITERSKY, TVERSKI-YAMSKI`
The song `Down Pitersky, Tversky-Yamsky` which became famous in the world after Chaliapin had performed and had it recorded is really a genuine folk song but abridged and changed. In original it was a cruel song about a guy who is in haste to declare his lover that he has to marry the other girl. The genuine folkloric text in Russian is available in here http://ru.wikisource.org/ (just insert Вдоль по Питерской into the search box). That folkloric version was not good for stage and urban audience, and it was interpreted in the major, buoyant, playful way. That new, stage variant returned to the people and was accepted by them as a folk song and soon supplanted the initial song and is well known in Russia up to now.
EKATERINA SAVINOVA (FILM) COVER
Boris Kustodiyev `Pancake Tuesday` (1919)
Эх вдоль по Питерской по Тверской-Ямской//По Тверской-Ямской по дороженьке//Едет миленькой сам на троечке//Едет батюшка во поддёвочке//То не лед трещит не комар пищит//Это кум до кумы судака тащит//Эх кумушка, ты голубушка, //Поцелуй ты да меня кума душечка, //Поцелуй ты да меня кума душечка!
Down Piterski Sung By Frosya Burlakova (Фрося Бурлакова), the title character of the film `Come Tomorrow` (Приходите завтра), and by actress Ekaterina Savinova who not only plays her part, but also sings for her
Hey! Down Piterski, up Tverski and Yamski,
Up Tverski Yamski, up the thoroughfare
There drove three-in-hand, my sweetheart by himself,
My dear fellow there went in his tight-fitting coat.
T`was neither cracking ice nor mosquito’s whine,
My godfather brought a zander to my godmother, guys!
`Hey, my lady sweet, my good woman dear,
Do kiss me, my darling, please, on my scarlet lips
Do kiss me, my darling, please, on my scarlet lips!` (Trans. Andrei Alexandre Owie)
FEODOR CHALIAPIN COVER
Эх вдоль по Питерской по Тверской-Ямской да ох-ой//По Тверской-Ямской да с колокольчиком ох//Едет миленькой сам на троечке ох//Едет батюшка во поддёвочке//Во пиру я была во беседушке//Я пила молода сладку водочку ой//Сладку водочку все наливочку ох//Я пила молода из полуведра.//Не лед трещит не комар пищит//Это кум до кумы судака тащит//Эх ох эх кумушка да ты голубушка//Свари кума судака чтобы юшка была//Эх ох эх юшечка и петрушечка//Поцелуй ты меня кума душечка//Поцелуй, поцелуй кума душечка.
Feodor Chaliapin -Down Piterski (Федор Шаляпин. Вдоль по Питерской)
Hey! Down Piterski, up Tverski and Yamski,
Up Tverski Yamski, the shaft bow’s bells ring.
There drove three-in-hand, my sweetheart by himself,
My dear fellow there went, in his tight-fitting coat. T`was a sumptuous feast, talking heart-to-heart,
I drank when I was young little vodka sweet,
Little vodka sweet, little liqueur with it.
I was young and I drank ten a half pints of it.
T`was neither cracking ice, nor mosquito’s whine,
My godfather brought a zander to my godmother, guys!
Hey, my lady sweet, my good woman dear, Boil the zander, my sweetheart, to taste the chowder right.
The fish chowder, dear, put some parsley to it!
Do kiss me, my darling, please, on my scarlet lips
Do kiss me, my darling, please, on my scarlet lips! (Trans. Andrei Alexandre Owie)
The same variant of lyrics was used the Sergei Zharov Don River Cossac Choir.
The Sergei Zharov Don River Cossac choir - Down Piterski (Вдоль по Питерской)
MAXIM MIKHAILOV COVER
Эх вдоль по Питерской по Тверской-Ямской да ох-ой//По Тверской-Ямской по проселочкам//Едет миленькой сам на троечке//Едет батюшка во поддёвочке//Во пиру я была во беседушке//Ну мед я пила - сладку водочку//Сладку водочку да наливочку ох//Я пила молода из полуведра.//Не лед трещит не комар пищит//Это кум до кумы судака тащит//Эх ох эх кумушка да ты голубушка//Свари кума судака чтобы юшка была//Эх ох эх юшечка и петрушечка//Поцелуй ты меня кума душечка//Поцелуй, поцелуй кума душечка.
Maxim Dormidontovich Mikhailov - Down Piterski (Максим Дормидонтович Михайлов Вдоль по Питерской).https://youtu.be/KZcqCRZCNGg
Hey! Down Piterski, up Tverski and Yamski,
Up Tverski Yamski, up their longest lanes.
....
T`was a sumptuous feast, talking heart-to-heart, T`was not honey that I drank, but little vodka sweet,
Little vodka sweet, little liqueur with it. (Trans. Andrei Alexandre Owie)
INSTRUMENTAL (ANIMATED CARTOON) COVER
Down Piterski Instrumental from the Russian Animation from the Lillebror och Karlsson på taket (Karlsson-on-the-Roof) by a great Swedish children’s writer Astrid Lindgren (1907-2002). Russian Karlsson is dancing to this tune! (Film Director Boris Stepantsev, Karlsson - Vasiliy Livanov, Miss Bock - Fanny Ranevskaya)
THE WORLD`S BEST MAN Karlsson: About whom? What about me? About me! It’s me who is clever, hadsome, just a little bit chubby Man in his Prime Miss Bock: Yes, but these men are ten a penny on TV. Karlsson: But I am talented above all. Just look. ... Attention, now you gonna see the world’s best Karlsson. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
When they write: `Karlsson is such a popular character in Russia that he's almost a Russian cultural icon` they’re right. So `Down Pitersky` is very fine with Karlsson too.
FROSYA`S REPERTORY
Among other songs and arias Frosya Burlakova also mentions General Gremin's Aria from Piotr Tschaikovsky`s opera Evgeniy Onegin:
Maxim Kuzmin-Karavaev (bass) - General Gremin's Aria (Piotr Tchaikovsky `Evgeny Onegin`). The Galina Vishnevskaya Opera Centre in Moscow, February 2009
and Mexican folk song `La Cucaracha`:
La Cucaracha
TEA DRINKING, AND FROSYA`S FOLK ORIGINS
Boris Kustodiyev`Merchant`s Wife At Tea` (1918) 3D
Allusion to tea drinking in the text of the cine novelette `Come Tomorrow` makes remember the series of the pictures, paintings and feature films, often also based on the paintings related to the mode of family life of the Russian people in Old and Modern Russia.
Let’s watch a fragment from the motion picture The Balzamonov`s Marriage based on Alexandre Ostrovsky`s three pieces Two Dogs Fight, the Third Keep Away, Whatever You Look for, You'll Find and Holiday’s Afternoon Dream (1860s). In many respects it’s almost a replica of The Merchant's Wife, (1918), a famous picture by Boris Mikhaylovich Kustodiev (1878-1927). As to the temper of woman it’s still quite of folk origins, very resolute, wild, passionate. By the way, it’s not a merchant’s wife, it’s a merchant woman, or using the modern idiom, it’s a business lady who doesn't know what to do with her money, time and energy and what to do else.
I love him! Poor boy Balzaminov - Georgy Vitsin, Mechant Woman Belotelova (literally `White-body-na`) - Nonna Mordyukova.
Merchant Woman: Why did you ...? (she means Balzaminov`s intrusion that startled all. - AAO) Balzaminov: I am in love. Merchant Woman: Why then that jumping over my fence? Balzaminov : Out of the fullness of the heart, ma`am. I see you aren’t angry with me! Merchant Woman: I am never angry! I am kind. What do you do? Balzaminov : Me? Nothing! Merchant Woman: Nor do I! It’s dull to do nothing alone! To do it together would be much more cheerful! Balzaminov : So that’s how it is! Agree! Much more cheerful! Merchant Woman: And you, Sir? Do you want to be together with me? Balzaminov : And how! It’ll be an honour for me! Please lemme kiss your little hand! Merchant Woman: You’re welcome! Draw near as much as possible. I ... Make me fall in love with you! I shall ... Balzaminov : Thank you very much indeed! Marriage Brokeress (Matchmaker): Cold, cold is the water in your pond! (having been startled all jumped into the pond) I see your samovar has got cold too! Merchant Woman: I do love him! I’d like you to take him ... Balzaminov : I’d like to go home. Merchant Woman: I’d like him to come to me everyday! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Boris Alexandrovich Tchaikovsky Music from `The Balzaminov`s Marriage`. Performed by students of the Ludwig van Beethoven Children’s Music School (in the Alexander Borisovich Goldenweiser Concert Hall, Moscow)
I like this Russian masterpiece participated by a constellation of the Russian theatre and cinema stars who successfully play their roles a little bit beyond the limits of their usual dramatic types that imparts an additional charm and novelty to the film.
Ekaterina Savinova as housemaid Matryona in The Balzaminov`s Marriage
The entire film with English subtitles is available here:
A Konstantin Voinov film The Balzaminov`s Marriage, 1964
Ekaterina Savinova plays a part of housemaid Matryona in this movie: 4:28-5:00, 6:23-7:11, 10:16 -11:10, 34:11-36:05, 1:00:12-1:03:43, 1:16:31-1:18:19, 1:21:48-1:22:13. I admire of Lidya Smirnova, lady matchmaker (marriage brokeress), Nonna Mordyukova (merchant woman), Georgiy Vitsin (Balzaminov). Everything’s ideal in that film, including works of director, cameraman, artist and composer. The film is translated into English by Alexandre Kormashov.
PETROSYAN FOREVER!
Now I want to present you some examples of the unprintable Russian folklore. Despite it’s formally tabooed, it’s well-known by everyone in Russia, from the little ones to the Methuselahs, from the high society lionesses in the capital city to the farmers in the most remotest village. Of course, they, those verses, so called, chastushkas, musical folkloric `chatters`, `tweeters` are not sung or read openly, they go from a person to person and performed in an appropriate time, place and company of folks. To perform them on stage is impossible if only they`re not innocent (there are an unlimited compendium of the innocent chatters, chastushkas, as well!).
The Russian Chastushkas - A Genuine Folk Way of Performing Them. An evergreen genre of the Russian country music. Soloists Marina, Lyubov, Ekaterina, Alfia, Natalie. There are male and female, printable and unprintable chastushkas. Their library is limitless and is being replenished.
Petrosyan performed the most familiar unprintable chastushkas on stage by concealing them in the form of Japanese-like haikus/tankas. He pronounced not a single obscene word, by the way. But audience laughed at them as everybody, young and old, could recognize the hidden, real contents of his `haikus/tankas`! This joy of recognition united the audience, so to say, merged all individuals for some time, made them feel closer as they shared those Russian rhymed folkloric jokes reminding me of the Irish limerics. Sometimes folklore is a national password! The other cultures are like that too!
Evgeniy Petrosyan & Matryona (Actor Sergei Chvanov from the famous comic duet `The New Russian Grannies`): Japanese Chastushkas https://youtu.be/2dKIxwZ7NWU
Please start, Petro, two times as -san (Matryona means Petrosyan-san).
1. По реке плывет топорное изделие//С клеймом мастера Кавасаки. ..Ну и пусть себе плывет,//Никому ненужное, некачественное изделие.
A hand-made axe is floating down river.
It has got a trademak by master Kawasaki.
Well, let it float even farther,
The useless, must be rejected article.
INFERENCE: По реке плывет топор из села Кукуево,//Ну и пусть себе плывет, железяка хуева.
There’s floating an iron axe
From the village Phoenix.
Let it float still farther on!
That fucking piece of penis.
2. Опа да опа…//Срослись ветка сакуры и сидящая на ней птица.//Я не верю своим глазам.//Между ними должен быть промежуток.
Opa, opa...
A branch of sakura and a bird sitting on it grew together.
I can’t believe my own eyes.
There must be a space between them.
INFERENCE: Опа! Опа! Срослись пизда и жопа!//Как же так, не может быть, //Промежуток должен быть.
Gee! Gee!
The cunt and arse merged bodily.
How come, it cannot be!
Some space must always be between.
3.
Мимо дома матери моей жены я иду.//Как сакура весной, цветут в моей душе шутки.//Одну из них я сую в окно.//Другая состоит из двух половинок.
When I pass the house of my mother-in-law
Jokes blossom at my heart as sakura flowers in Spring.
Either I put my `nose` through her window,
Or I show her something consisting of two parts!
INFERENCE: Мимо тещиного дома// я без шуток не хожу,//То ей "нос" в окно просуну,//То вдруг жопу покажу.
I don’t pass my wife’s mom’s house
Without joking from the start.
Now I put my `nail` through sunblind,
Now I show her my arse.
4. Шёл я лесом, видел бесеночка среди леса!//Варил он в котелке рыбу фугу.//Глупый ты шалый,//Не на то повесил ты котелок. //И дым валит из тебя против ветра.
I was going through the forest. I noticed an imp in it.
He was cooking fish fugu.
Oh, you silly fool!
You’ve hung up your mess-tin
On the wrong thing.
INFERENCE: Шел я лесом, видел беса,//Бес картошечку варил.//Котелок на хуй повесил,//А из жопы дым валил.
At my peril I saw the devil.
He cooked potatoes past the shrubs.
He put the mess-tin on his meat nail.
Smoke belched out of his arse.
5. На горе стоит верблюд.//Его четверо поймали и надругались.//Плачь, верблюд, день сегодня не твой.//Снизу, из долины Хироку,//Поднимаются к тебе еще четверо.
A camel is standing in the mountains.
Four persons caught it and raped.
Cry, you poor two-humped creature, you’ve got bad luck.
Lower, in the valley Hiroku
There are another four going to ascend.
INFERENCE: На горе стоит верблюд,//Его четверо ебут,//Двое в жопу, двое в рот//Пропускают кислород.
A camel’s standing on the hill,
Being fucked by four at once (a deal!).
Two fuck its arsehole, two give a blow job,
Thus pumping air in its balls.
6. Гейши в озере купались.//Гейши толкались частями тела. //Их счастье, что рядом нет Ивана Кудзио,//Вот уж кто толкнет, то толкнет!
Geishas swam in the lake.
They pushed one another with some parts of their bodies.
They are happy to have not Ivan Kujio in vicinity.
It’s him who’s an absolute champion of pushing.
INFERENCE: Девки в озере купались,//Девки попами толкались.//Иван Кузин подлетел//И на девок этих сел.
Girls were swimming in the pool.
They pushed each other with their tools.
Ivan Kuzin ripped the air
And pushed all girls with his big pepper.
7. Мы не сеем и не вспахиваем землю. //Не перевозим самурая с одного место на другое.// С колокольни веткой бамбука машем.// И облака исчезают.
We neither sow nor plough!
Nor carry samurais from place to place.
We only wave the bamboo branches from the belfry
To make the clouds disappear.
INFERENCE: Мы не сеем и не пашем, //Мы валяем дурака. //С колокольни ...машем, //Разгоняем облака....
We don’t sow, we don’t plough,
We just play the ass all day.
We wave our balls from the bell tower,
Thus making clouds dissipate.
8. Вдвоем с приятелем работаем на дизеле.// О, сакура! Тебе ли не знать кто мы! //Он - сын бревна, калека разума,//Я - сын гнилого угла, чмо, живущее на болоте! //А дизель ук нас похитили злые самураи.
Both me and my crony operate the diesel engine.
O, sakura! Don’t you know who we are?
He’s a son of a chock, his reason is crippled, and I’m a marsh schmo!
As to the diesel engine, it was stolen by the evil samurais!
INFERENCE: Мы с приятелем вдвоем// Работали на дизеле.//Он лопух, и я лопух,//У нас теплушку спиздили/
Me and my crony, the two of us,
Ran the fucking engine.
He is an arse, me is an arse,
Our diesel was abstracted.
9. Я проснулся в шесть часов.// И не обнаружил пояса от кимоно. //Вот оно, вот он, //Нежно обвивает мой самурайский меч.
I got up at six a. m.
But I couldn’t find my kimono`s waistband.
Here it is! Here it is!
It’s tenderly twining around my sword of a samurai!
INFERENCE: Встал я утром в шесть часов//Нет резинки от трусов.//Вот она, вот она,//На хую намотана.
I’ve got up early, at six a.m.
Where’s my trunks` rubber band?
Here it is! Here it is!
Coiled around my dick to fleece!
10. Не ходите девки замуж за Ивана Кудзио.// В его саду камней выросли огромные кабачки.
Do not marry Ivan Kujio, you girls!
He’s got the huge vegetable marrow in his stone garden!
INFERENCE: Не ходите девки замуж за Ивана Кузина//У Ивана Кузина большая кукурузина.
Girls! Beware of the marrying the guy called Ivan Kuzin. Ivan Kuzin`s got a corncob which size can be too ruinous. THE END (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
