The Internet is like Ancient Egypt, people write on walls and worship cats.
A GREEN KITTY`S COLLECTION
OH, THOSE GLAMOROUS PUSSIES
Sometimes I write something in my tweets but I don’t even know why. Sometimes I like to read tweets of the Russian teens and women and share them with the international readership. Oh, yeah, baby! When it concerns women` tweets, I prefer those by the so called glamourous pussies.
Mewrlyn Miaownro
Once Sergei Shnurov, the most famous `hooligan` of the Russian pop music (it`s his artistic image), wrote a real hymn of the glamorous moggies and created a true mirror of them as a part of `The boomer` movie sountrack . (Boomer is German BMW car in slang).
Music and Lyrics by Sergei Shnurov SONG OF A PAMPERED MOGGY
Get me this quickly. Oh, hell, buy that thing.
I saw it on the shop window’s mann`quin.
This kind of fur-coat of chinchilla
Will look well only against my villa.
Купи мне это! Да нет, не это!
В журнале модном ты видел это.
Такая шубка из шиншиллы
На мне смотреться будет мило.
Refrain
I want to have the Dior perfumes,
The gowns labelled Cardin,
Can’t do without the YSL`s* bags!
Unless you buy me those thinglets
You’ll no longer have me,
The pretext will be you don’t love.
Хочу духи от Диора
Платье от - Кардена
Сумочку от - "Ив Сент-Лоран".
А если ты мне не купишь
Значит ты не любишь,
Значит я тебе не дам.
You remember just a refrain though the meaning concentrates in the couplet.
I want to visit Tenerife and Malta,
Then go to Egypt, then to Jamaica
To take much pleasure in azure sea,
To loll on beaches, live sans soucis.
Хочу на Мальту и Тенерифе,
Затем Ямайка, потом Египет.
Чтоб наслаждаться лазурным морем,
В песке валятся, болтать с прибоем.
Refrain
I’ll tolerate no objections,
Just follow my directions,
Consider it your duty to me!
Unless you bring air tickets
You’ll no longer have me,
The pretext will be you don’t love.
И даже слушать не буду,
Должен сделать чудо,
Должен сделать всё для меня.
Билеты завтра не купишь
Значит ты не любишь,
Значит ты не любишь меня.
The Saturn ring must be my present.
For diamond rings I don’t care.
I know exactly what I want.
And by all means I’ll get it all!
Хочу в подарок кольцо Сатурна,
А ты мне даришь кольцо из ГУМ'а.
Я знаю точно чего хочу,
И непременно всё получу.
Refrain
You have to get all I pretend to
Even to the world’s end
You bravely will have followed me.
Unless a star has been gifted,
You’ll no longer have me,
The pretext will be you don’t love. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Ты должен сделать всё это
Даже на край света
Должен ты пойти для меня.
Звезды с небес не добудешь
Значит ты не любишь,
Значит ты не любишь меня.
* YSL means Yves Henri Donat Mathieu-Saint-Laurent, or Yves Saint Laurent. ** Sans soucis \säⁿ-sü-sē\ means in French `without worry, care`.
Do not open your mouth to interrupt a lady unless you gonna say `I love you!`, `I`ll buy it for you!` and `Sorry, I`m a fool!`
LIFE & LOVE OF A WOMAN LA VIE ET L`AMOUR D`UNE FEMME
I am beautiful and everybody loves me!
The whole world is a toy for me!
Why is it so? To find me is difficult, to lose me is easy?
You either appear and never vanish or vanish and never appear! That’s what they say!
-Nobody loves me!
-But I do!
-There's a clever chap!
Main travel rules for women :
1. To moan that you wanna go home.
2. To moan that you wanna stay there forever.
Being a girl means thinking about the global problem if to wash your hair now or tomorrow!
Stormy night! And me, so sexy and irresistible! As if I gonna dream of the reiterating intimacy with the inimitable men!
THE LEGAL LIMIT OF BEING PRETTY
-Is this legal to be so improbably good-looking?
-Stop it, mom! It is perfectly legal!
1. To tell everybody that he’s not of your taste.
2. To love him secretly.
I feel love wherever I go!
The part of a funny girl from Tokyo who can cheer up anybody around at mere sight of her is played by my fave Japanese actress Becky. She is a Japanese actress of British descent, formally known as Rebecca Eri Ray Vaughan (レベッカ・英里・レイボーン). Oh my! My goodness! She seems never to repeat herself! Always new and unpredictable! Wow!
At last I am in the right place at the right time. Smartphone, dreams and the sea. Happiness precisely exists.
Reporter: You only love the wealthy men! Zsa Zsa Gabor: You’re wrong. I like merry fellows. They, however, are met mostly among the rich.
Zsa Zsa Gabor shows off her party dress and her chinchilla fur coat against the background of her new Studebaker Lark and inside of her (1963) https://youtu.be/46GOuo4J6Yk
To read a book by Hemingway, to drink caramel coffee, to make love and to learn languages.
QUO VADIS, EVE? Banishing from Heaven
To meet on the Seine left riverside, to have breakfast on a typical French veranda. Waiters will bring us shawl, wine & pasta. We`ll kiss.
Le Commissaire Juve`s P.S.: Hungarian women are so beautiful! Zsa Zsa Gabor, Marika Rökk, Barbara Palvin, ... . True Sylvas! Even Nicolas Sarkozy might have been a beauty as Nicole!
Lyrics by Onegin Yusif oğlu Hacıqasımov, Music by Egil Schwartz (1967) YOU AND I (A RECIPE OF ETERNITY)
You and me, we’re a recipe of eternity,
You and me, we’re a symbol of love,
You and me, it is when in each other’s eyes
We look affectionately!
Refrain
Ages are crumbling,
The world’s getting old,
It’s us who are only eternal,
Just you and me.
You and me, we were forever indeed,
You and me, we’re sadness and joy,
You and me, it’s the first day of life
Of all the worlds.
Refrain
You and me, we don’t need too much.
You and me, what do we want?
We just want the serene happiness
For the world!For the world! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Poet and Lyricist Onegin Yusif oğlu Hacıqasımov was an Azerbaijani aristocrat, a patrician from the then East Roman Empire`s (i.e., as the USSR) province of Azerbaijan. The family went to the Third Rome (Moscow) as his father Yusifbei Hacıqasımov was a University VIP and his mother Mahtaban-khanum Hacıqasımova was a philologist (Russian language and literature). He was named in honour of Evgeny Onegin, a title hero of the Pushkin`s same name novel in verse.
After graduating from the Gorky Literature Institute he quite soon became a trendy Russian lyricist and translator of the foreighn lyrics.
He belonged to the Roman gilded youth, and being an Azeri Prince and All-Russian celebrity he could afford of everything and he afforded of everything as much as he only could (money, wines, women, expensive resorts, appartments, etc.). He was a stately, handsome tall man, a benjamin of the Moscow artistic bohemia and high-ranking officials.
His poems and lyrics, depoliticized and deideologized, pure anacreontics, were welcomed about the Caesarian Court. He was radiant with beauty, fame and wealth for two decades in the 60-80s. Then like Prince Gautama he looked around and discovered the imperfect world, on the one hand, and perfect God, on the other.
He`d read all the Bible for three days, had got blind for three days, then had his sight recovered three days later and four years later after rejecting vanity and whoredom of earth he came to the gates of the ancient Russian Opta`s monastery founded several centuries ago by the repented highwayman Opta, and became an ordinary novice. He was baptized as Oleg, many years later he took the vows of schema as hieromonk Simon and finished his life as a hermit monk Siluan who detached himself from the world to pray for our sinful souls. He lived a consecrated life the last decades of his life and deserved an aureole of holiness.
EVA: BACK TO HEAVEN
By Alexandre Khitrov EASTERN CAME TRUE: LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF A BRAVE FRENCH LADY IN THE WILD EAST OF RUSSIA IN THE TAIGA WITH AMUR TIGERS BEING THERE. EASTERN: VIDA Y AVENTURAS DE UNA SEÑORA FRANCESA EN RUSIA EN EL TAIGA CON LOS TIGRES DE AMUR ESTANDO ALLÍ.
Marilia Petite, a 31 years old smiling girl from Brittany, travelled across half the world by bike, married an indigene and enjoys her life in the Russian Far East, in Ulunga village of Primorsky region. She travelled with her boyfriend to visit virgin forests of our planet. Having reached the Russian taiga she felt she had found what she sought for, and made her mind to stay here. It characterizes her as an outstanding, romantic and adventure personality.
Marilia Petite, 31 años de edad, sonriente chica de Bretaña, viajó a traves del mundo en bicicleta, se casó con un indigène y disfrutar de su vida en el Lejano Oriente ruso, en la aldea de Ulunga de la región de Primorsky. Ella fue viajada con su novio para visitar los bosques vírgenes de nuestro planeta.Cuando llego a la taiga rusa, sintió que había encontrado lo que buscaba, y ella decidió quedarse aquí, que la caracterizaba como una personalidad excepcional, romántica y aventurera.
Indian summer. Inhabitants of the Indian village are in a hurry to meet the long cold winter. This season they are used to winterize their homes, to lay in firewood and to gather in the crops, potato, tomatoes and cucumbers. All that remained after the recent flood.
Verano indio. Los habitantes de la aldea indígena tienen prisa antes de la llegada del invierno frío largo. Esta temporada suelen calentar sus hogares, cortar leña y cosechar la papa, los tomates y los pepinos. Todo lo que quedó después de la reciente inundación.
Life in the Far Eastern taiga. Photo by Alexandre Khitrov. La vida en la taiga del Lejano Oriente. Photo por Alexandre Khitrov
Marilia spends all her days in her kitchen garden. Tomatoes can’t wait any longer! Her sonny Milan, four years old, is by her side babbling something in French. The elder son Saveliy went for a walk with his granny who came to Ulunga to meet her daughter. As to her husband Konstantin he was stabbed in his back in a drunken brawl. She lives in a 20 sq. m house alone with her children. Two beds, dinner table, bookshelves, photos on the walls and cast-iron wood stove.
Marilia pasa todos sus días en su jardín. ¡Los tomates no pueden esperar más! Su hijo, Milan, de cuatro años, está a su lado, balbuceando algo en francés. Su hijo mayor, Saveliy, caminó con su abuela que vino a Ulunga para encontrarse con su hija. En cuanto a su marido Konstantin, el fue apuñalado en una pelea de borrachos. Ella vive en un 20 sq. m casa sola con sus hijos. Dos camas, mesa de comedor, estantes, fotos en las paredes y estufa de leña de hierro fundido.
Marilia and Milan. Photo by Alexandre Khitrov. Marilia y Milán. Photo por Alexandre Khitrov
What made you stay here? ¿Por qué te quedas aquí?
The lifestyle of the taiga, still continuing hunting and gathering and now also guiding eco-tourists. The taiga still feeds people in here a great deal. Unlike those in Europe the local forest is vast, rich and diverse. The forest donates cones, magnolia vine, berries, meat, river contains fish. El estilo de vida de la taiga, aún significativos de caza y recolección y ahora de guía para los ecoturistas. La taiga todavía alimenta a mucha gente aquí. A diferencia de los de Europa, el bosque local es vasto, rico y diverso. El bosque da conos, schisandra, bayas, carne, río contiene pescado.
My husband Kostya was a hunter. At first we lived right in the taiga, far from people. Il n'y avait que la forêt et la rivière autour. I appreciated this harmony of a human being and nature in Ulunga. After I had lost my husband I had to demolish our home in the taiga to move it to the village in 40 km using the Buran snowmobile and assemble it anew. I called my friends in France; they arrived to help me to do this.
Mi marido Kostya era un cazador. Al principio vivíamos en la taiga, lejos de la gente. Sólo el bosque y el río. Disfruté de esta armonía del humano y la naturaleza en Ulunga. Después de perder a mi marido, tuve que demoler nuestra casa en la taiga para moverla a la aldea situada a 40 km usando la moto de nieve Buran y reunirla de nuevo. Llamé a mis amigos en Francia, vinieron a ayudarme a hacerlo.
What did you do in France? ¿Qué hiciste en Francia?
I grew up in a village; I’ve been riding horses since young years. Some time I studied ecology in the Universities in France and Mexico. Then I built a yurta and had a unique experience of survival in the forest. I was infatuated with the virgin forests. I started traveling there, recording videos.
Crecí en una aldea; he estado cabalgando durante años. Algún tiempo estudié ecología en universidades en Francia y México. Luego construí una yurta y tuve una experiencia de supervivencia única en el bosque. Empecé a tomar un gran interés en los bosques vírgenes. Comencé a viajar allí, grabando videos.
Unpretentious life. Photo by Alexandre Khitrov. La vida sin pretensiones. Photo por Alexandre Khitrov
-Is it hard to live in the raw? ¿Es difícil vivir en la naturaleza?
-To live in here and being not in need one has to be vigorous, brave and hard-working. Life here means work. But everyone works for himself, their families, to survive rather than for the bosses. It’s you who is a master of your life, it’s you who arrange your own life, not your boss. You do what you need to do to survive and you specify your own duties. You’re free, but to survive here you have to work though no one will make you work if you don’t want to. You’re free, you’re just a human being here. Para vivir aquí, sin experimentar dificultades, debes ser vigoroso, valiente y laborioso. La vida aquí significa trabajo. Pero todo el mundo trabaja aquí para sí mismo, sus familias, para sobrevivir, no para los jefes. Es usted quien es un maestro de su vida, es usted quien organiza su propia vida, no su jefe. Haces lo que necesitas hacer para sobrevivir y especificas tus propias tareas. Eres libre, pero debes trabajar para sobrevivir aquí. Nadie te hará trabajar si no quieres. Usted es libre, usted es solamente un humano aquí.
For how long will you have been to this place? ¿Cuánto tiempo planeas vivir en este lugar?
I’ll have to leave in a year or two as I’ve got two children and they must go to school. There’s no school in the village, there was no school in the past and there won’t be any school then. So I’ll have to refuse the ideal way of life I had found here. I’ve got my house and vegetable garden in the village, so I’ll be able to come here from time to time and when in France to tell people about that place. They’ll get an opportunity to replace me in that house if they will. It’s a good chance! It’s a unique experience they can’t get in the West.
Tengo que irme en un año o dos. Tengo dos hijos y tienen que ir a la escuela. No hay escuela en la aldea, no había escuela en el pasado y no habrá escuela entonces. Por lo tanto, debería rechazar el modo de vida ideal que encontré aquí. Tengo un jardín de verduras y casa en el pueblo, así que puedo venir aquí de vez en cuando. Puedo decirle a la gente de este lugar en Francia. Tendrán la oportunidad de reemplazarme en esta casa si quieren hacerlo. Es una buena oportunidad! Es una experiencia única que no pueden tener en Occidente.
Ulunga Village. Photo by Alexandre Khitrov. Aldea de Ulunga. Photo por Alexandre Khitrov
What can you tell about wild life in the taiga? ¿Qué puedes decir sobre la vida silvestre en la taiga?
Amur tiger is a sacred brute for indigenes. This animal is a hero of the legends, it’s present in the traditional ornamental patterns, and it’s respected, and they are afraid of it. The tigers and bears sometimes compete for the wild boars and sows they hunt for. The human hunters prefer to avoid of encountering the tigers, they never attack them first. So do tigers. They feel mutual respect, not like the curious bears that take interest in every noise and never refuse to eat humans up if hungry. Amur tigre es un animal sagrado para indigenes. Este animal es un héroe de las leyendas, está presente en los patrones ornamentales tradicionales, y es respetado, y ellos tienen miedo de los tigres. Los tigres y los osos a veces compiten por los jabalíes y las cerdas que buscan. Los cazadores humanos prefieren evitar encontrarse con los tigres, nunca los atacan primero. También lo hacen los tigres. Sienten respeto mutuo, no como osos curiosos que toman interés en cada ruido y nunca se niegan de comer los humanos si tienen hambre.
Did YOU encounter the Amur tigers? ¿Y tú mismo conociste a los tigres de Amur?
No, I didn’t, only its fresh tracks. Tigers often roam about village hunting for dogs. If they feel the master of the house is afraid of them they’ll kill all dogs of his. Tigers watch every step of a human being, so I want and at the same time I don’t want to meet a tiger. Tigers never forgive hunters if they break the unwritten rules. Once a Russian hunter whom the udege allowed to earn a livelihood by hunting took the flesh of the boar killed by a wounded tiger. Then the tiger killed him! Not at once! He had been chasing him for a long time! He considered the hunter to be the wicked one. And the hunter felt it, he asked the Indians to give him a shelter but they refused him and recommended to go away after he had told them the reason. But when the tiger killed another man the Indians understood that it was the evil spirit Amba who got into him and they traced and killed it. No, no lo hice, sólo sus huellas frescas. Los tigres vagan a menudo alrededor de la aldea cazando para los perros. Si sienten que el dueño de la casa les tiene miedo, matarán a todos sus perros. Los tigres miran cada paso de un humano, así que quiero y al mismo tiempo no quiero conocer a un tigre. Los tigres nunca perdonan a los cazadores si rompen las reglas no escritas. Una vez un cazador ruso que los udege permitió ganar un medio de vida por la caza tomó la carne del jabalí matado por un tigre herido. ¡Entonces el tigre lo mató! ¡No al instante! ¡Había estado persiguiéndolo durante mucho tiempo! Consideraba al cazador como el malvado. Y el cazador lo sintió, le pidió a los indios que le dieran un refugio, pero le rechazaron y le recomendaron que se fuera después de que él les hubiera dicho la razón. Pero cuando el tigre mató a otro hombre, los indios comprendieron que Amba era el espíritu maligno que se metió en él y lo rastrearon y lo mataron.
Do the local Indians (the udege tribe) believe in spirits? ¿Los udege creen en los espíritus?
Some do, some don’t. But every local hunter reckons with his conscience. They feel respect of the wild life and nature that feeds them and gives right to existence. Algunos creen, algunos no lo creen. Pero cada cazador local cuenta con su conciencia. Sienten el respeto de la vida salvaje y la naturaleza que los nutre y da derecho a la existencia.
Life in the Far Eastern taiga. Photo by Alexandre Khitrov. La vida en la taiga del Lejano Oriente. Photo por Alexandre Khitrov (Translated by Police Commissioner Juve) THE END
National park `Bikin`, the udege land, capital - Krasniy Yar village. Hunters` feast. https://youtu.be/pcdxxdw88FM
HUNT MEANS NOT ONLY THE PRECIOUS FURS
`As You Like It` by sylvan Shakespeare. An Alexandre Petrichuk`s videos from Primorye the southern territories of the Russian Far East. https://youtu.be/NzGLb2W2HgY
The winter hunting season of 2017/18 in the Primorye territories came to its end. It was rich in many anecdotal evidence. As always you don't know whether to laugh or cry but it’s a raw life, folks, crude life. Crude and funny in all meanings. And you can’t help it. You only remain to watch it.
Alexandre Petrichuk, a hunter and vlogger
THE ICICLE MAN, OR CHILLED BIGNOSE COME TRUE Vlogger: Bro, I wonder where have you just come from? A tipsy hunter(he`s drunk little fire water to warm himself): Just now?
-Yep!
-I`ve been just h-h-h-h-unting for h-h-h-h-ares!
THE MOURNING MORNING A guy(about a frozen hare stuck in the palisade): O-ho-ho! It`s to be removed. His fellow: Really frozen one! How did it manage to stuck in the palisade?
-Precisely! That's the thing! A big hare, ain`t it? I pity it!
TIGRE`S LOVE: SCENT OF A DOG (PROFUMO DI CANE) Voice(to the hunting dogs): Now come here! Quick! Another one: The tiger would like to eat up our dogs. We must bring them to the car. Voice(to the hunting dogs): Come on! Don’t sit! Loudspeaker(from a police car): Well, what’s proceeding there? Voice(to the hunting dogs): Come here! Do it! Policeman`s voice (to the tiger): Hey you, go away! Hunters` voices(to the hunting dogs): Smoky, Smoky, do jump into the car! Quick! Come here! Is your Tyson already in the car? Another voice: The tiger going away! He’s leaving now. Voice: The tiger is so handsome! Another voice(to the tiger): Hey, you striped sailor, now you may come here! Ha-ha! Voice: Just look! The tiger leaving, leaving! We must warn folks since the tiger may make an ambush and lie in wait sowhere!
INVESTIGATING A CASE OF DOGNAPPING (TO BE CONTINUED) Village Constable(reading the ursine traces): Well, I see, a bear must have really caught the dog! The dog disappeared! Did the bear drag it off, indeed? Well I see, the bear was dragging it, for sure! An` didn’t even remove the dog collar! Right? Dognapping Victim: There’s only left a latch hook! The other dog soiled itself! It survived but still shocked, can’t stop being scared shitless... Village Constable(filling in the form and examining the tracks): Well, Brovnichy Village, a Teddy’s night visit, it came to the fence, made a hole, turned around, then went to the left and later returned to the street through it and then went along the yards sometimes breaking neighbours` fences and was off at last.
COMMENTARY FROM THE SAFARI PARK Voice: You see a Himalayan bear! There was time when they were in the Red List, but since then they had got bred extensively. They started visiting local cities and searching the garbage cans. They stopped being a rare species, and now they are hunted under licence.
INVESTIGATING A CASE OF DOGNAPPING (HAPPY END) Village Constable: Well, that’s this event for you which happened in this village today. Teddy was not too small! Just look at its big traces! (summing up rather conciliatorily) But none of the villagers suffered, thanx God, and it’s a good job too.
A MAN AND A WOMAN (UNE HOMME ET UNE FEMME), OR NOT GONNA GET US! Woman: Oh! It’s kinda race! Just look, a wild boar! A wild boar briskly running ahead of the car along the snow-covered road bounded by deep snowdrifts. Man: It would be easy to kill it now! Woman: So waste no time, crush it! Crush it! Anton! It`s running away! Shoot it, shoot it quickly! Man: As I open the door it’ll be already far away! Woman: Kill it, so much fresh meat! Man: We shouldn’t, besides if I open it gonna attack me up! Woman: The boar not gonna dare to do this! Man: Just fancy, how would I clean up the car?! Besides, I couldn’t lift this weight alone either! Woman: I would help you! Man: Nast`(an abridged vocative form of Anastassia (Nastya) in the colloquial speech), skip it! We’d better go! Woman: Well, start the car then! How provoking, so much meat is escaping! Drat! Have you ever seen anything like that?!
A TOWN CALLED PANIC, OR THE NEW BEAST ON THE BLOCK
Children and dogs entertain themselves with escaping from a friendly wild boar who used to run in their village to play and have fun. GIRL`S VOICE(about a boy being chased by a wild boar): What a friend he got himself, just look! It’s so silly to hide now after such a nice meeting! (to the neared wild boar) Go away! Shoo! Keep away from me! Get lost!
ALL THE COLOURS OF THE RAINBOW Vlogger: Read Over Your Geography Books In Vacation!` I mean by that what? A pheasant, of course! Here it is! Real pheasant for a hunter! Stay where you are! Where to? Halt!
As you can see now the raw life everywhere easily competes with cinema, sometimes it`s the Fargo TV series come true, sometimes it’s Shakespeare or the French vaudevilles. Life is immensely diverse, it’s an unbounded entirety. We need cinema to capture some moments of this diversity as an entirety, we need videos to have film directors reminded of the real life`s inexhaustible fantasy. THE END
Our today`s guest is Le Commissaire Juve (aka Henri Henri) from France. Slavicist & Sinologist. Poet. Translator. Humourist. Hunter (with Fandor and Hélène) for Fantômas. He is a provisional subsitute for Mona Lisa.
CONFESSIONE DI UN COMMISSARIO DI POLIZIA A MONA LISA: Music and Lyrics by Andrei Gubin LISA
Lisa, together we were yesterday!
Just yesterday we weren`t aware
We`d have to go through our parting, Lisa,
And wait too long for our meeting again!
Lisa, when shall we meet each other, ah?
What was between us might have been love!
But I had no time to tell you clear
A few but most important words... O Lisa!
Lisa composed, written and sung by Andrei Gubin, a Russian classical pop singer, iconic pop idol and most famous babyface of the 90s-00s https://youtu.be/EG64aGrKFE0
Refrain:
Lisa, don`t vanish again, Lisa, please, don`t fly away!
Just stay with me a little longer, Lisa,
I wish our parting`s hour were not that near.
Lisa, where`s your reply? Lisa, good fortune, good-bye!
Last minutes before parting gonna soon run out,
I`d like my ticker`s hands to stop right now.
Lisa, I wanted so much to confess,
That I`d forever owe to my fate
We had a chance to meet each other, Lisa,
One day on earth too big for a match.
Lisa, now that many seas between us
My sadness grows stonger at times.
But as before I shall believe, my dear,
That you still love me as before. O Lisa! (Trans. by Le Commisaire Juve)
L`Internet est comme l'Egypte ancienne, les gens écrivent sur les murs et adorent les chats.
LA COLLECTION DU MINOU VERT
OH, CEUX `CHATTES GLAMOURIEUX (GLAMOURIEUSES)`!
Parfois, j'écris quelque chose dans mes tweets mais je ne sais même pas pourquoi. Oh oui bébé! Parmi de tweets féminins, je préfère des tweets par ce qu'on appelle les `chattes glamourieux (glamourieuses)`. J'ai emprunté ce terme à la langue russe où le mot du genre grammatical féminin est utilisé dans le genre moyen pour créer un effet comique et exprimer simultanément l'admiration (c'est Internet argo) (`glamournoye kiso` à la place de `glamournaya kisa`).
Miaulerlyn Miaounro
Une fois Serge Chnouroff, le plus célèbre «hooligan» Chnour de la musique pop russe (c'est son image artistique), a écrit un véritable hymne et a crééun véritable miroir des chattes glamourieux dans le cadre de la sountrack du film The Boomer (Boomer is German BMW voiture en argot).
Musique et paroles par Serge Chnouroff La chanson de la chatte choyé (The pampered moggy`s song)
Get me this quickly. Oh, hell, buy that thing.
I saw it on the shop window’s mann`quin.
This kind of fur-coat of chinchilla
Will look well only against my villa.
Achetez-moi ceci rapidement. Oh, merde, achète cette chose.
Je l'ai vu sur le mannequin de la vitrine.
Ce genre de manteau de fourrure de chinchilla
Aura l'air biens seulment en face de ma villa.
Refrain
I want to have the Dior perfumes,
The gowns labelled Cardin,
Can’t do without the YSL`s* bags!
Unless you buy me those thinglets
You’ll no longer have me,
The pretext will be you don’t love.
Je veux avoir les parfums Dior,
Les robes étiquetées Cardin,
Je ne peux pas me passer de sac à main de YSL!
Sauf si vous m'achetez ces choses
Tu ne m'auras plus,
Le prétexte sera que tu ne m'aimes pas!
Vous vous souvenez juste d'un refrain, même si la signification se concentre dans le couplet.
I want to visit Tenerife and Malta,
Then go to Egypt, then to Jamaica
To take much pleasure in azure sea,
To loll on beaches, live sans soucis.
Je veux visiter Tenerife et Malte,
Ensuite, aller en Egypte, puis en Jamaïque
Pour prendre beaucoup de plaisir dans la mer d'azur,
Se promener sur les plages, vivre sans soucis.
Refrain
I’ll tolerate no objections,
Just follow my directions,
Consider it your duty to me!
Unless you bring air tickets
You’ll no longer have me,
The pretext will be you don’t love.
Je ne tolérerai aucune objection,
Suivez mes instructions,
Considérez cela comme votre devoir envers moi!
Sauf si vous apportez des billets d'avion
Tu ne m'auras plus,
Le prétexte sera que tu ne m'aimes pas!
The Saturn ring must be my present.
For diamond rings I don’t care.
I know exactly what I want.
And by all means I’ll get it all!
L'anneau de Saturne doit être mon cadeau.
Dans les anneaux de diamant je ne prends plus intérêt.
Je sais exactement ce que je veux.
Et par tous les moyens, je vais tout avoir!
Refrain
You have to get all I pretend to
Even to the world’s end
You bravely will have followed me.
Unless a star has been gifted,
No longer have sex with me,
The pretext will be you don’t love. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Vous devez obtenir tout ce que je prétends.
Même à la fin du monde
Tu m'auras courageusement suivi.
Sauf si une étoile a été douée
Tu ne m'auras plus,
Le prétexte sera que tu ne m'aimes pas! (Traduit par Le Comissaire Juve)
*YSL signifie Yves Henri Donat Mathieu-Saint-Laurent, ou Yves Saint Laurent.
N'ouvrez pas la bouche pour interrompre une femme à moins que vous ne vouliez dire: «Je t'aime!», «Je l'achèterai pour toi!» et «Désolé, je suis un imbécile!`
LA VIE ET L`AMOUR D`UNE FEMME
Je suis magnifique et tout le monde m'aime!
Le monde entier est un jouet pour moi!
Pourquoi est-ce comme ça? Il est difficile de me trouver alors qu'il est facile de me perdre!
Vous ou bien apparaissez et ne disparaissez jamais, ou bien disparaissez et n'apparaissez jamais! C'est ce qu'ils disent!
Personne ne m'aime!
Mais je t'aime!
Il n'y a aucune chance!
Règles de voyage principales pour les femmes:
1. A plaigner que vous voulez rentrer à la maison.
2. A plaigner que vous voulez rester là pour toujours
Être une fille, c'est penser au problème global s'il se lave les cheveux maintenant ou demain!
Nuit orageuse! Et moi, si sexy et irrésistible! Comme si je rêvais de réitérer l'intimité avec les hommes inimitables!
LA LIMITE JURIDIQUE D'ÊTRE BELLE
-Est-ce légal d'être si incroyablement belle?
-Arrête ça, maman! C'est parfaitement légal!
1. A dire à tout le monde qu'il n'est pas de votre goût.
2. L'aimer secrètement
Je ressens de l'amour partout où je m'en vais!
Le rôle d`une fille amusante de Tokyo qui peut animer tout le monde à la seule vue, est jouée par l'actrice japonaise Becky. Elle est une actrice japonaise de descendance britannique, connue sous le nom de Rebecca Eri Ray Vaughan (レ ベ ッ カ • 英里 • レ イ ボ ー ン). Mon Dieu! Elle semble ne jamais se répéter! Toujours nouveau et imprévisible! Ouah!
Enfin, je suis dans la bonne place au bon moment. Le smartphone, les rêves et la mer. Le bonheur existe précisément!
L`IMPORTANCE D`ÊTRE JOYEUX ET DE BONNE HUMEUR (HUMOUR)`
Reporter: Vous aimez seulement les hommes riches! Zsa Zsa Gabor: Vous avez tort. J'aime les gens joyeux, de bonne humeur (humour). Malheureusement, ils se rencontrent surtout parmi les riches.
Zsa Zsa Gabor exhibe sa robe de soirée et son manteau de fourrure de chinchilla et de léopard devant sa nouvelle Studebaker Lark et à l'intérieur d'elle (1963) (Publicité commerciale de la 1963) https://youtu.be/46GOuo4J6Yk
Buvons donc pour que nous soyons joyeux et de bonne humeur (humour) !
À lire un livre par Hemingway, à boire du café au caramel, à faire l'amour et à apprendre les langues.
QUO VADIS, ÈVE? L'expulsion du Paradis
À recontrer sur la rive gauche de la Seine, à prendre le petit déjeuner sur une terrasse typiquement française. Les serveurs nous apportera le châle, du vin et des pâtes. Ensuite, nous allons embrasser.
Attaché Par Le Commissaire Juve: Les femmes hongroises sont si belles! Zsa Zsa Gabor, Marika Rökk, Barbara Palvin, ... . Vrai Sylvas! Si Nicolas Sarkozy est né en tant que Nicole, lui aussi devait devenir une beauté!
Lyrics by Onegin Yusif oğlu Hacıqasımov, Music by Egil Schwarz
Toi et moi, nous sommes une formule d'éternité,
Toi et moi, nous sommes un symbole d'amour,
Toi et moi, c'est quand dans les yeux de l'autre
Nous regardons affectueusement!
Refrain
Les âges s'effondrent,
Le monde vieillit,
C'est nous qui ne sommes qu'éternels,
Juste toi et moi.
Toi et moi, nous étions pour toujours,
Toi et moi, nous sommes la tristesse et la joie,
Toi et moi, c'est le premier jour de la vie
De tous les mondes.
Refrain
Toi et moi, on n'a pas besoin de trop.
Toi et moi, que voulons-nous?
Nous voulons juste le bonheur serein
Pour le monde! Pour le monde! (Trans. by Commissaire Juve)
Le poète et parolier Onegin Yusif oğlu Hacıqasımov était un aristocrate azerbaïdjanais, patricien de la province d'Azerbaïdjan de l'époque de l'Empire romain d'Orient (URSS, Russie). La famille se rendit à la troisième Rome (Moscou), son père Yusifbei Hacıqasımov étant un VIP de l'université et sa mère Mahtaban-khanum Hacıqasımova était philologue (langue et littérature russes). Il a été nommé en l'honneur d'Evgeny Onegin, un héros de titre du roman de même nom par Pouchkine en vers.
Après avoir été diplômé de l'Institut de Littérature de Gorki, il est rapidement devenu un parolier russe à la mode et un traducteur de mots de chansons étrangères.
Il appartenait à la jeunesse dorée romaine, et étant un prince azéri et une célébrité panrusse qu'il pouvait se permettre de tout et il en offrait autant qu'il le pouvait (argent, vins, femmes, stations balnéaires chères, appartements, etc.).
Il était un bel homme majestueux, un benjamin de la bohème artistique de Moscou et des hauts fonctionnaires. Ses poèmes et ses paroles, dépolitisés et désidéologisés, purs anacréontiques, ont été bien accueillis au sujet de la Cour de César. Il rayonnait de beauté, de renommée et de richesse pendant deux décennies dans les années 60-80. Puis, comme le prince Gautama, il a regardé autour de lui et a découvert le monde imparfait, d'une part, et Dieu parfait, de l'autre.
Il a lu toute la Bible pendant trois jours, perdre la vue pendant trois jours, mais sa vue a été rétablie après trois jours d'aveuglement. Quatre ans plus tard, après avoir rejeté la vanité et la grande prostituée du monde, il était venu aux portes de l'ancien monastère de L'Église orthodoxe russe a été fondée il y a plusieurs siècles par le voleur de grands chemins Opta qui s'était repenti, et Yusif était devenu un novice ordinaire. Il a été baptisé comme Oleg, beaucoup d'années plus tard il a pris les vœux de la skhima comme hiéromoine Simon et a terminé sa vie comme un moine ermite Siluan qui s'est détaché du monde pour prier pour nos âmes pécheresses. Il a vécu une vie consacrée durant les dernières décennies de sa vie et méritait une auréole de sainteté.
ÈVE: LE RETOUR AU PARADIS
Par Alexandre Khitroff
EASTERN: VIE ET AVENTURES D'UNE DAME FRANÇAISE EN RUSSIE DANS LA TAIGA AVEC LES TIGRES D'AMUR ÊTRE LÀ
Marilia Petite, une fille souriante de 31 ans de Bretagne, a parcouru la moitié du monde à vélo, s'est mariée avec un indigène et aime sa vie dans l'Extrême-Orient russe, dans le village Ulunga de la région de Primorsky. Elle a voyagé avec son petit ami pour visiter les forêts vierges de notre planète. Après avoir atteint la taïga russe, elle a senti qu'elle avait trouvé ce qu'elle cherchait, et a décidé de rester ici. Cela la caractérise comme une personnalité exceptionnelle, romantique et aventure.
Été indien. Les habitants du village indien sont presses avant l'arrivée de le long hiver froid. Cette saison ils généralement hivernent leurs maisons, coupent le bois de chauffage et récoltent la pomme de terre, les tomates et les concombres. Tout ce qui restait après la récente inondation.
La vie dans la taïga de l'Extrême-Orient. Photo par Alexandre Khitroff
Marilia passe tous ses jours dans son potager. Les tomates ne peuvent plus attendre! Son fils Milan, âgé de quatre ans, est à côté d'elle en balbutiant quelque chose en français. Son fils aîné, Saveliy, s'est promené avec sa grand-mère qui est venue à Ulunga pour rencontrer sa fille. Quant à son mari Konstantin, il a été poignardé dans une bagarre ivre. Elle vit dans un 20 sq. m maison seule avec ses enfants. Deux lits, table à manger, étagères, photos sur les murs et poêle à bois en fonte.
Marilia et Milan. Photo par Alexandre Khitroff
Qu'est-ce qui vous a amené à rester ici?
-Le style de vie de la taïga, quand les gens doivent chasser et rassembler des cadeaux de la forêt pour survivre et maintenant aussi guider les éco-touristes. Contrairement à l'Europe, la forêt locale est vaste, riche et diversifiée. La forêt donne des cônes, des baies, de la schisandra et viande, la rivière contient beaucoup de poisson.
Mon mari Kostya était un chasseur. Au début nous vivions dans la taïga, loin des gens. Seule la forêt et la rivière. J'ai apprécié cette harmonie d'un être humain et de la nature à Ulunga. Après avoir perdu mon mari, j'ai dû démolir notre maison dans la taïga pour la déplacer vers le village à 40 km en utilisant la motoneige de Buran et la rassembler à nouveau. J'ai appelé mes amis en France, ils sont arrivés pour m'aider à le faire.
Qu'est-ce que vous avez fait en France?
J'ai grandi dans un village; je fais du cheval depuis de jeunes années. Quelque temps j'ai étudié l'écologie dans les universités en France et au Mexique. Ensuite, j'ai construit un yurta et j'ai eu une expérience unique de survie dans la forêt. J'ai été emporté par des forêts vierges. J'ai commencé à voyager là-bas, en enregistrant des vidéos.
La vie sans prétention. Photo par Alexandre Khitroff
Est-il difficile de vivre dans la nature?
Pour vivre ici n'éprouvant pas de difficultés, il faut être vigoureux, courageux et laborieux. La vie ici signifie travail. Mais tout le monde travaille ici pour lui-même, leurs familles, pour survivre, pas pour les patrons. C'est vous qui êtes un maître de votre vie, c'est vous qui organisez votre propre vie, pas votre patron. Vous faites ce que vous devez faire pour survivre et vous spécifiez vos propres tâches. Vous êtes libre, mais vous devez travailler pour survivre ici. Personne ne vous fera travailler si vous ne voulez pas. Vous êtes libre, vous n'êtes qu'un être humain ici.
Combien de temps prévoyez-vous vivre dans ce lieu?
-Je dois partir dans un an ou deux. J'ai deux enfants et ils doivent aller à l'école. Il n'y a pas d'école dans le village, il n'y avait pas d'école dans le passé et il n'y aura pas d'école alors. Je devrais donc refuser le mode de vie idéal que j'ai trouvé ici. J'ai un jardin de légumes et de maison dans le village, alors je pourrai venir ici de temps en temps. Je pourrai dire aux gens de cet endroit en France. Ils auront l'occasion de me remplacer dans cette maison s'ils veulent faire cela. C'est une bonne chance! C'est une expérience unique qu'ils ne peuvent pas avoir en Occident.
Ulunga Village. Photo par Alexandre Khitroff
Quelques mots sur la vie sauvage dans la taiga, s'il vous plaît?
L'animal tigre est un animal sacré pour les indigènes. Cet animal est un héros des légendes, il est présent dans les motifs ornementaux traditionnels, et ils respectent et ils ont peur des tigres. Les tigres et les ours concourent parfois pour les sangliers et les truies qu'ils recherchent. Les chasseurs humains préfèrent éviter de rencontrer des tigres, ils ne les attaquent jamais d'abord et les tigres ne les attaquent jamais d'abord aussi. Ils ressentent le respect mutuel, pas comme des ours curieux qui s'intéressent à tous les bruits et ne refusent jamais de manger des gens s'ils ont faim.
Vous avez-vous rencontré des tigres Amur?
Non, je ne garde que ses nouvelles traces. Les tigres parcourent atour le village et chassent les chiens. S'ils sentent que le maître de la maison a peur d'eux, ils vont tuer tous ses chiens. Les tigres regardent chaque étape d'un être humain, alors je veux et en même temps je ne veux pas rencontrer un tigre. Les tigres ne pardonnent jamais les chasseurs s'ils enfreignent les règles non écrites. Une fois un chasseur russe que les udege ont permis de gagner leur vie en chassant a pris la viande du sanglier tué par un tigre blessé. Alors le tigre l'a tué! Pas à la fois! Il l'avait chassé depuis longtemps! Le tigre a traité le chasseur comme un homme méchant. Et le chasseur se sentait, il demanda aux Indiens de lui donner un abri mais ils l'ont refusé et recommandé de partir après qu'il leur a expliqué la raison. Mais lorsque le tigre a tué un autre homme, les Indiens ont compris que c'était l'esprit malin, Amba, qui y est entré, et a été tracé et tué.
Les udege croient-ils dans les spiritueux?
Certains croient, certains ne le croient pas. Mais chaque chasseur local compte avec sa conscience. Ils ressentent le respect de la vie sauvage et de la nature qui les nourrit et donne droit à l'existence.
La vie dans la taïga de l'Extrême-Orient. Photo par Alexandre Khitroff FIN (Traduit par Le Comissaire Juve)
Parc national `Bikin`, la terre d'udege, capitale - village de Krasniy Yar. Fête des chasseurs. https://youtu.be/pcdxxdw88FM
LA CHASSE NE SIGNIFIE PAS SEULEMENT LES FOURRURES PRÉCIEUSES
`Comme il vous plaira (As You Like it)` par sylvain Shakespeare. Une vidéo d'Alexandre Petrichuk des territoires du sud de l'Extrême-Orient russe.https://youtu.be/NzGLb2W2HgY
La saison de chasse hivernale de 2017/18 dans les territoires de Primorye a pris fin. Il était riche en anecdotes marrantes. Comme toujours, vous ne savez pas s'il faut rire ou pleurer, mais c'est une vie crue, mes amis, la vie crue. Brut et drôle dans tous les sens. Il n'y a rien que tu puisses faire! Vous restez seulement pour la, cette vie, regarder.
Alexandre Petrichuk, chasseur et vlogueur
L'HOMME STALACTITE, OU BIGNOSE RÉFRIGÉRÉE Vlogger: Je me demande, d'où viens-tu, fréro? A tipsy hunter(il a bu de l'eau de vie de se réchauffer): Juste maintenant?
-Oui!
-J'ai été juste à la ch-ch-ch-ch-asse aux l-l-l-lièvres! (Entre nous, les Français, parlant, ça me rappelle fortement la prononciation d'Auvergne: `Un chacheur chachant chacher ...` (`Un chasseur sachant chasser ...`). - Le Commissaire Jeuve )`.
LE MATIN MEURTIER Un gars(à propos du lièvre gelé qui s'est coincé entre les panneaux de clôture): O-la-la! Il doit être retiré. Son camarade: Vraiment gelé! Comment a-t-il réussi à rester coincé dans la palissade?
-Précisément! Voilà! Un gros lièvre, n'est-ce pas? Je plains ça!
L'AMOUR DE TIGRE: PARFUM DE CHIEN (LE TEMPS D`UN WEEK-END) Voix(s'adressant aux chiens de chasse): Maintenant viens ici! Rapide! Une autre voix: Le tigre voudrait manger nos chiens. Nous devons les amener à la voiture. Voix(s'adressant à son chien): Allons! Ne t'asseois pas! Haut-parleur(par mégaphone d'une voiture de police): Eh bien, qu'est-ce qui se passe là-bas? Voix(s'adressant aux chiens de chasse): Venez ici! Fais le! La voix du policier (au tigre): Écoute, sors! Scat! Les voix des chasseurs(à leurs chiens): Brume, Brume, sautez dans la voiture! Rapide! Viens ici! Est-ce que votre Tyson est déjà dans la voiture? Une autre voix: Le tigre s'en va! Il part. Voix: Le tigre est si beau! Une autre voix (au tigre): Hé, marin rayé, maintenant tu peux venir ici! Ha-ha! Voix: Regardez, le tigre part, il part! Nous devons avertir les gens car le tigre peut faire une embuscade et se tenir à l'affût là-bas!
ENQUÊTER UN CAS DE DOGNAPPING (À SUIVRE) Le détective du village(lisait les traces d'ours): Eh bien, je vois, un ours doit avoir vraiment attrapé le chien! Le chien a disparu! Le ours l'a-t-il arraché, en effet? Eh bien, je vois, l'ours le traînait, c'est sûr! Et n'a même pas enlever le collier de chien! Ai-je raison? Victime de Dognapping: Il n'y a plus qu'un crochet de verrouillage! Un autre chien a fait beaucoup de caca! Il a survécu mais toujours choqué, ne peut pas arrêter d'être effrayé ... . Le détective du village (en remplissant le formulaire et en lisant les traces): Eh bien, Brovnichy Village, une visite nocturne de Nounours, est arrivé à la clôture, a fait un trou, s'est retourné, puis est allé vers la gauche et est ensuite retourné dans la rue, puis est allé le long des fermes, brisant parfois les clôtures voisines avant qu'il soit parti enfin.
REMARQUES EXPLICATIVES FAITES DANS LE PARC SAFARI Voix: Vous voyez un Ours de l'Himalaya! Il y avait un temps où ils étaient dans la liste rouge, mais depuis lors, ils se sont multipliés. Ils ont commencé à visiter les villes locales et à fouiller dans les poubelles. Ils ont cessé d'être une espèce rare, et maintenant ils sont chassés sous licence.
ENQUÊTER UN CAS DE DOGNAPPING (HAPPY END) Le détective du village: Eh bien, c'est le événement pour vous qui est arrivé dans ce village aujourd'hui. Nounours n'était pas trop petit! Regardez simplement ses grandes traces! (résumant plutôt conciliateurment). Aucun des villageois n'a souffert, Dieu merci. Donc pas de problème!
UN HOMME ET UNE FEMME FEMME: Oh! C'est une sorte de course! Regarde, un sanglier! Un sanglier court rapidement devant la voiture le long de la route enneigée, limitée par de profondes congères. HOMME: Ce serait facile de le tuer maintenant! FEMME: Alors ne perdez pas de temps, écrasez-le, l`écrasez! Anton! Il s'enfuit! Tirez dessus, tirez le rapidement! HOMME: Alors que je vais ouvrir la porte, il sera déjà loin! FEMME: Tuez-le, tant de viande fraîche! HOMME: Nous ne devrions pas, d'ailleurs si j'ouvre la porte il va m'attaquer! FEMME: Il n'osera pas faire ça! HOMME: Imaginez, comment nettoyer la voiture après! D'ailleurs, je ne peux pas porter ce poids tout seul! FEMME: Je vais t'aider! HOMME: Nast`(une forme vocative abrégée d'Anastassia (Nastya) dans le discours familier), oubliez ça! Nous ferions mieux d'y aller. FEMME: Ensuite, lancez la voiture! Tellement de pitié, tant de viande s'échappe! Mince! Avez-vous déjà vu quelque chose comme ça?! Vous aimez?
PANIQUE AU VILLAGE
Les enfants et les chiens se divertissent en s'échappant d'un sanglier amical qui court autour de leur village, joue avec tout le monde et s'amuse. VOIX DE FILLE(à propos d'un garçon chassé par le sanglier): Regardez qui est son nouvel ami! C'est tellement bête de se cacher maintenant après une si belle réunion!(au sanglier approché) Va-t'en! Ouste! Tiens-toi loin de moi! Scat!
Regarde Obélix. J’ai vu bataille ici. Va! Vlogger: Regarde Obélix. J’ai vu bataille In ici! Va!`. Je veux dire quoi? Faisan, bien sûr! C'est ici! Un vrai faisan pour un chasseur! Où va-tu? Arrête!
Comme vous pouvez le voir maintenant, la vie de tous les jours rivalise facilement avec le cinéma, parfois c`est les séries télé de Fargo deviennent réalité, parfois c'est Shakespeare ou les vaudevilles français. La vie est immensément diversifiée, c'est une totalité illimitée. Nous avons besoin de cinéma pour saisir certains moments de cette diversité come la totalité , nous avons besoin de vidéos pour rappeler aux réalisateurs la fantaisie inépuisable de la vie réelle. FIN
Notre invité d'aujourd'hui est Le Commissaire Juve (alias Henri Henri) de France. Slaviciste et sinologue. Poète. Traducteur. Humouriste. Chasseur (avec Fandor et Hélène) pour Fantômas. Il est un substitut provisoire de Mona Lisa.
CONFESSIONE DI UN COMMISSARIO DI POLIZIA A MONA LISA: Musique et Paroles par Andrei Gubin LISA
Lisa, ensemble nous étions hier!
Juste hier, nous n'étions pas au courant
Nous devrions passer par notre séparation, Lisa,
Et attendez trop longtemps pour notre réunion!
Lisa, quand nous nous rencontrerons, ah?
Ce qui était entre nous aurait pu être l'amour!
Mais je n'avais pas le temps de te dire clairement
Quelques mots, mais les plus importants ... O Lisa!
La chanson `Lisa` composée, écrite et chantée par Andrei Gubin, un chanteur classique de pop russe, un pop idol iconique et un fameuse baby-face des années 90-00 https://youtu.be/EG64aGrKFE0
Refrain:
Lisa, ne disparais plus, Lisa, s'il te plaît, ne pars pas!
Reste avec moi un peu plus longtemps, Lisa,
Je souhaite que notre heure de départ ne soit pas si proche.
Lisa, où est votre réponse? Lisa, bonne chance, au revoir!
Les dernières minutes avant la séparation vont bientôt manquer,
Je voudrais que les aiguilles de ma montre s'arrêtent maintenant.
Lisa, je voulais tellement avouer,
Que je dois toujours à mon destin pour
Nous avons eu l'occasion de nous rencontrer, Lisa,
Une fois sur la terre trop grand pour les amoureux.
Lisa, maintenant que beaucoup de mers entre nous
Ma tristesse se développe parfois.
Mais comme avant je vais croire, ma Lisa,
Que tu m'aimes encore. O Lisa! (Traduit par Le Commissaire Juve)
娇猫的歌曲
Get me this quickly. Oh, hell, buy that thing.
I saw it on the shop window’s mann`quin.
This kind of fur-coat of chinchilla
Will look well only against my villa.
Refrain
I want to have the Dior perfumes,
The gowns labelled Cardin,
Can’t do without the YSL`s** bags!
Unless you buy me those thinglets
You’ll no longer have me,
The pretext will be you don’t love.
Refrain
I’ll tolerate no objections,
Just follow my directions,
Consider it your duty to me!
Unless you bring air tickets
You’ll no longer have me,
The pretext will be you don’t love.
Refrain
You have to get all I pretend to
Even to the world’s end
You bravely will have followed me.
Unless a star has been gifted,
You’ll no longer have me,
The pretext will be you don’t love. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
*YSL是Yves Henri Donat Mathieu-Saint-Laurent，或Yves Saint Laurent 伊夫•聖羅蘭。 **Sans soucis\säⁿ-sü-sē\法语的意思是“无忧无虑”。
别打开你的嘴为打断一个女士除非你想说：我爱你！我会买这东西给你的！对不起，我是个傻瓜！
一个女人的生活和爱 LA VIE ET L`AMOUR D`UNE FEMME
我是美女，大家都爱我！
整个世界是我的玩具 !
为什么会这样？ 找我很难，失去我很容易.
你应该或出现和永远不消失,或消失和永远不会出现！ 这就是他们所说的！
-没有人爱我！
-但是我爱你！
-没有机会 !
妇女主要旅行规则
1.呻吟你想回家
2.呻吟，你想永远留在那里。
一个年轻的女士面临全球性问题：何时洗头发，现在还是明天！
暴风雨的夜晚！ 而我，性感又不可抗拒！ 仿佛我梦想重申与很多无比的男人的亲密关系！
美容的法律限制
是非合法地要这样非常美丽吗？
- 停止，妈妈！ 这是完全合法的！
1.告诉大家他不是你的品味。
2.偷偷爱他。
我是美女，大家都爱我！无论我去哪里，我都感觉到爱!
来自东京的一位搞笑，只要看到她就可以振作起来的女孩角色是被我最喜欢的日本女演员丽贝卡•埃里•雷沃恩 (Rebecca Eri Ray Vaughan)（レベッカ•英里イイイーンン）扮演的。她是英国后裔的日本女演员，正式名称为贝基(Becky)。我的天啊！ 她似乎从未重复过自己！ 总是新的和不可预测的！哇！
村里的恐慌(PANIQUE AU VILLAGE, A TOWN CALLED PANIC)
村庄里的孩子们和狗儿们都在逃离与大家一起的玩得开心的友好野猪。
一个年轻女子的声音 (关于一个被野猪在赶上的男孩): 看看他的新朋友是谁！ 经过如此愉快的相识后，现在隐藏起来真是太蠢了！(向走近的公猪) 走开！嘘！远离我！走开！
Oleg Tabakov (17 August 1935 – 12 March 2018) is an iconic figure in Russia. He was a great actor, educator, chief stage director of two famous theatres, the Moscow Art Theatre and so called `Tabakerka` (that means `snuffbox` and originates from his name of `Tabakov` (lit. `Tobaccov`)), effective manager, etc. His bio can be read in English at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oleg_Tabakov, http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0845867/. He is the Godfather of a helluva Russian actors as a theatrical educator, so we can state that he created not only his own drama school and theatre (they have been existing since the early 70s) but also his own theatrical school.
He was among the founding fathers and mothers of the legendary theatre `Sovremennik` which revolutionized the Russian art of drama in the 60s no less dramatically than Stanislavsky`s Moscow Art Theatre did in the 1900s. When he was just 29 he experienced a severe myocardial infarction, yet recovered and lived a long happy life. He was 82 when that bony lady with her scythe made her visit which had been adjourned sine die.
He never forgot to live and even married his young girl student for the second time and had before and after that as many children of all ages as a half of a football team used to have got. He loved life, and life paid his tribute to him. He lived and let live!
Lemme remember some of his summit parts he had played in his life.
THE CHARMING ENEMY
The first that strikes me is his role of Walter Schellenberg from the TV Serial `The 17 Instants of Spring`. He played that part when he was between his 30 and 40 years old. Once the KGB Chief Yuri Andropov approached him at a banquet and said Oleg ought not to have played his part of Schellenberg as good as he had played. He meant he had played Schellenberg as a too charming and intelligent gentleman. Tabakov responded that he had to as his father had to have been fighting with the enemies like Schellenberg for almost five years, so they were hardly stupid, it was the war of the first-rate wits too. Intellectuals! After watching his work on TV Schellenberg`s niece sent Tabakov a postcard and thanked him for his playing her uncle as a multi-dimensional personality rather than a stereotype.
Oleg Tabakov as Walter Schellenberg in Tatiana Lioznova`s `The 17 Instants of Spring` TV Series. The background song sung by Andrei Mironov. Of course, this song is not from the soundtrack of the Lioznova`s TV Series. It`s taken from Mark Zakharov`s TV Serial `The 12 Chairs` where Oleg Tabakov played too. *https://youtu.be/q_7zMf0KvBE
THE BASHFUL STEALER BLUSHING WITH SHAME
In Mark Zakharov`s TV Serial `The 12 Chairs` from the Il`f and Petrov same name satirical novel Tabakov brilliantly played the part of a blushing stealer who kept stealing everything he could see and reach from the old ladies in the retirement home. Moreover, he was the retirement home`s director!
That person deserves a special story. The supplies manager of the retiremen home for the old ladies` social security #2 was not only the dirtest thief, but he also was an extremely shy thief, a truly bashful stealer. His inner nature made a stand against stealing but he couldn`t help stealing all the same. He called his wife `Sashchen` (Sasha + German affectionate diminutive suffix - chen) and she called him `Alchen` (Alex + German affectionate diminutive suffix - chen). He was the biggest crook out! He stole and was ashamed of it! He stole permanently, and he was ashamed of it permanently! By that very reason his well-shaved cheeks kept burning with shame, shyness and embarrassment.
THE IRON NURSEMAID ANTICIPATING THERESA MAY
Sometimes Oleg Tabakov played women. He liked to play the character parts. All in all, he played about 100 roles in cinema, let alone the numberless parts he played in the various theatres. Before his departure he played up to 6-7 performances every month.
The also newly-late Leonid Kvinhidze (Feinzimmer)`s musical `Mary Poppins, good-bye!`Miss Andrew played by Oleg Tabakov.
Dad: Awesome! I`ve quite forgotten! Misfortunes never come alone! Mom(reading the telegram he handed): `I move to you for a month. I`ll be be at your place tomorrow at 10 a.m. Make sure the fire is lit in my bedroom`s fireplace. Yours, Euphemia Andrew`. Mom: Wait, wait! Isn`t it the name of your nanny? I`m right, aren`t I? Dad: Yes, it is. She`s going to come here! Today! Right away! Mom: I say, my dear, it`s no misfortune! That`s pity we`ve got no peat, but firewood would also do. And sweet old lady ... Dad: What? A sweet old lady? You wait till you meet her! Fire and bankruptcy means nothing in comparison with her! Her name should have been Fury and Harpy rather than Euphemia! Mom: Where are you going? Dad: Anywhere, down under, round the world ... (seeing the approaching taxi cab) O my God! It`s the Holy Terror! (to the Mom) Tell her I was killed in action! Mom: George, you can`t behave! Miss Andrew: Attention please! I`m getting off! We-e-el! Let us see if every thing is all right. It looks like this. What`s this? (after taking an instant look at the taximeter) Two pounds and three pences. Just fine! That sum would be enough to go round the world. Cabman: Is it your tip? Miss Andrew: No, it is your fare. (offering Mom and kids to take her luggage) Take it, take it! I hope you know who I am. Children: We do. You`re Miss Fury. It means Miss Harpy! Mom: You`re welcome, Miss Andrew. I hope you enjoyed your trip? Miss Andrew: I didn`t enjoy it even in the least, Mrs. Banks! By the way, it enjoyed me no more than your children. Even in the least, Mrs. Banks. What is this? Michael? And is this Jane? Why does she wear trousers? In my time the girls didn`t wear trousers. Jane: Well, but ... Miss Andrew: Silence! Your children have got no manners. The boy should be sent to the military college, as to the girl it`s me who will teach her manners. Mom: I hope you will like your stay in here. Miss Andrew: What`s this? Where have you brought this scrap pile from? Shame on you! Are you really British. My home is my castle! Is this a modern scupture? Ugh, how disgusting! Take it away!
`Mom: Tomorrow we`re to have it taken away! Miss Andrew: Tomorrow? Morgen, morgen, nur nicht heute, sagen alle faule Leute! (In German: `Tomorrow, tomorrow, but not now, tell you all the lazy people!`) Tomorrow? Ja? (In German: yes?) Mom: Ja, ja! I`ll order to remove that scap right away. Would you proceed to ... Miss Andrew: I would ... but where`s your WC? Mom: The WC? Miss Andrew: (skipping from the topic, meaning the guy living next door) Who is that guy? Is he your gardener? (to the guy) Fetch the remaining things! (to the children) Be careful with ... I watch over my health, Mrs. Banks. (blowing the whistle) Well! Halt! This thing is too dear to trust it to someone`s care. It`s so hot! So hot! (blowing the whistle) Halt. Let`s count items of my luggage! One, two, three, four, five. (walking up the stairs of the porch and singing Edvard Grieg`s Solveig Song) `Perhaps there will go both winter and spring ...`(In Norw.: `Kanske vil der gå både Vinter og Vår`)***. Children: It likes something or someone! THE END
Selective Service - an Episode from the theatre performance `Always on offer`. Shoppy played by Oleg Tabakovhttps://youtu.be/s-FTiRWgkQM
A sexist, feminist shopgirl only serves the men she likes while humiliating the ones she dislikes at first sight, not that handsome and ageing. Customer #1: Little cognac, a slice of lemon, a chocolate bar, quick! Shoppy: Everyting`s ready. Always at your service, Sir! Delivery to customer, so to say! Should I tie it up with a ribbon? Customer #1: Do it! Shoppy: Which ribbon? Blueish? Customer #1: Pinkish! Shoppy: What about your little handshake? Customer #1: Keep money. Shoppy: (in flirting French) Adieu! Customer #1: (automatically in English) Thank you! Shoppy: (in flirting English) Good-bye! Customer #2: Lemon, please. A.S.A.P.! Shoppy: What d`ya need it for? Purpose! Customer #2: For a patient. Shoppy: Address a drug-store! Customer #2: I say, they don`t trade lemons in the drug-stores! Shoppy: Don`t they trade lemons in the drug-stores? Never heard about it before! Customer #3: Three tea-bags, please. Shoppy: Trademark? Customer #3: Ceylon. Shoppy: Sold out! Customer #3: What is available? Shoppy: Which tea are you going to have? Customer #3: If Ceylon tea sold out, then I gonna have Georgian tea. Shoppy: I still can`t get your idea, Ceylon or Georgia? Customer #3: If there is no Ceylon tea ... Shoppy: There isn`t. Customer #3: Then Georgian tea gonna be fine with me. Shoppy: There`s no Georgian either. Customer #3: Have you got any other? Shoppy: I have got. But tell me first which tea you are going to have? Customer #3: The one you`ve got. Shoppy: It concerns only me what I`ve got. What is your request? I sell Ceylon, Georgian and Krasnodarsky tea. Don`t you know it? Stop bulling me, you trolling hooligan! THE END
You may laugh but I met such a shopgirl in a Russian city. One day I dropped in her shop and got stupefied as she was unusually polite and had got two big yellow blue shiners around her eyes! I never justify such methods but like other customers I got convinced that that bad method had worked and given good results. What happened then? Nothing special. Simply a macho met a feminist. Annihilation! Like in the Large Hadron Collider! An evil bozo, presumably Higgs, made a difference, he saved the whole hood from an evil troll!
Grieg - Trolltog (March of the Trolls) Op. 54 No.3 - Arr. Brian Beck (Sinfonischen Blasorchester der Ruhr-Universität Bochum) https://youtu.be/pgfBzm3LR7I
THAT JOKE IS A CLASSIC!
Oleg Tabakov loved to perform the roles of the Russian and world`s classical repertory. The serious and not very serious ones. Once he played the part of a jovial hussar Prokopiy Nazarovich Ushitsa (rather a ridiculous, senseless family name!) in a George Jungwald-Chilkiewicz comedy film `Ah, vaudevile, vaudeville!` based on the old Russian vaudeville `Daugther of a Russian Actor` by Piotr Grigoriev (1806-1871).
A fragment from the comedy `Ah, vaudevile, vaudeville!`. The song of hussar Ushitsa sung by Oleg Tabakov. https://youtu.be/I9BGWDEgSIs
Music by Maxim Dunayevsky, Lyrics by Leonid Derbenyov The Hussar`s Love Song
Luv is a mixture of flame and ice,
Your nectar is your neighbour`s poison.
Luv`s for civilians no dice,
It`s for the soldiers that it`s awesome!
Refrain
In luv I know exactly what to do,
And my tactics is approved,
To attack and bark not at the moon!
In luv I sieged a lot of castles.
And if I only tell you lies,
May my redoubt turn to dust!
Carry a torch? What`s next? I like!
Long compliments are for the dottiest,
Cuz I`ve got fire in my eyes
And a beguiling look for conquest. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Tabakov very exactly played a landowner Pavel Petrovich Shcherbuk in a Nikita Mikhalkov feature film `An Unfinished Piece for Mechanical Piano` from Anton Chekhov`s early, unpublished and unfinished plays. Oleg`s hero was a representative of the landed interests, former slavocrats, and he used to state that the dirty-faced could not play the pianos. The lady of the manor, mistress of the neighbouring estate, made up her mind to play a trick on him, she purchased a mechanical piano, and her servant, ordinary peasant Zachary was made to imitate playing it. You should have seen the expression on Pavel Petrovich`s face when he saw Zachary playing the piano! Mamma mia, che impressione!
A scene with Oleg Tabakov from the Nikita Mikhalkov film based on the Chekhov`s unpublished plays. https://youtu.be/vpU3aGGm5gg
Lady of the manor: Zachary! Landlord Shcherbuk, one of her guests: It can`t happen, not an earthly! ... (a little bit later, coming to his senses, able to breeze again) Aha! (in French) Mistification! Didn`t I state that the dirty-faced couldn`t play it! It`s mechanical!
When Tabakov`s character was delivering one of his patented speeches upholding the principle of the aristocratic class` creative pre-eminence and was mentioning names of Pushkin, Lermontov, Gogol, Goncharov, a new guest of the hostess of the estate, an enterpreneur of a new generation corrected him. (The businesman`s father was a merchant and his grandfather was a dirty-faced peasant. The idea of `The Cherry Orchard` were being formed for many years in Chekhov`s head, as we can see now!).
He said that Goncharov had been from the merchants` stratum. But Pavel Petrovich was quick to answer that Goncharov had been an exclusion from the common rule and that he hadn`t been the best. Three years later Nikita Mikhalkov will remember these words and invite Oleg to play the title role of Oblomov in the same name film from the Ivan Goncharov`s same name great novel. Oleg didn`t let him down, he iconically interpreted that iconic character. Interestingly, that Tabakov was sooner Stolz rather than Oblomov in reaL life. The more brilliant was his artistic achievement!
A Nikita Mikhalkov film `Oblomov` (1979). Olga- Yelena Solovei, Stolz - Yuri Bogatyryov, Oblomov - Oleg Tabakovhttps://youtu.be/X_lVUAvJIkM
Habent sua fata homines! My favourite actor Bogatyryov was late long ago, actress Solovei preferred the modest fate of a housewife in New York City, USA, to the career of a film star in Russia, as to Oleg he became a kind of general, His Excellency, a Councillor of State, a leader of one of the most famous theatres of the nation.
Another Man's Wife and a Husband under the Bed. Wife - Maria Shimanskaya (Tabakov was her teacher in the Drama School), husband - Oleg Tabakov. https://youtu.be/ZSoh2gFb5qw
Tabakov played an official cheated on by his wife whom he tried to expose and catch her in flagranti delicto in a Ivan Mel`nikov TV film `Another Man's Wife and a Husband under the Bed` from the short stories by Feodor Dostoyevsky. Excellent work!
Unfaithful Wife: Just look at yourself! You must have been looking for me again ... in an attempt to destroy a rendez-vous I`d allegedly made! Shame on you, Sir! Soon you are going to be pointed the finger at! Jealous and cheated husband: (taking out of his pocket a love letter) What`s this? Unfaithful Wife: This letter were written by me for you! I was in trouble because of your being in trouble! And what about you, Sir! Your wife was on pins and needles, wrote a note not knowing where to send it ... Good luck that I met Yulian Potapovich in an arcade!
The high official, husband of a young lady (see below), was played by Oleg Yefremov who was an equivalent of Konstantin Stanislavsky in the Russian theatre of the 60s. Son of a GULAG camp accountant he befriended with many outstanding artistes who played in the theatrical companies consisted of slaves and proscripts. They humoured patricians and their foreign friends. Sometimes there were American officials among viewers too. They were flattered to have occurred in Old Rome that time. Unfortunately, there were no gladiators` fightings! They informally appeared only in time of liberal democracy in Russia (I am to touch this topic as it was being reflected in the Russian cinema some day later). In time of Great Caesar the rulers preferred the art!
Another Man's Wife and a Husband under the Bed. Lisa - Marina Neyolova, Husband - Oleg Yefremov, another wife`s husband - Oleg Tabakov https://youtu.be/F1VHqgP03Es
Another man`s wife: Husband! Another wife`s husband(he casually occurred in the apartment of another man's wife): Whose husband? Another man`s wife(her husband was an old high official who felt amused with her `secret` love affairs): My husband! Oi! Climb down in here! Under my bed! Husband: Lisa, sweetheart, Euphrasinia must have broken something again. Hello, Liz, my angel, are you healthy? (noticing someone under the bed) I see ... I see ... you do look healthy.
After Sulla`s death the young aristocrat reformed the Russian theatre by establishing the theatre `Sovremennik` (lit. `The Contemporary`) which was a theatre of the then young generation. He did it together with the young actors and actresses from all social strata. Oleg Tabakov from a provincial city of Saratov and Marina Neyolova were among them too. Decades later Tabakov inherited the general`s position of the Moscow Academic Art Theatre director from Oleg Yefremov. Not long before his death old, ruined through heavy drinking, but yet extremely talented Yefremov fired off the elder generation of the Moscow Art Theatre he had invited to follow him from the `Sovremennik`when he became the Moscow Art Theatre director. He consciously and calculatingly betrayed all his friends and stage comrades who by that time had become old, the newer generation of the so called Moscow Art Theatre`s `elders`, his own contemporaries, so to say, to replace them with much younger generation.
Oleg Tabakov as Louis XIII in the adaptation of The Three Musketeers (Les trois mousquetaires)
But! O miracle! The King is dead! Long live the King! Say what you like, but Oleg Tabakov was born to be a lucky man! By irony of fate, it was him who filled the old academic bottle of the Moscow Art Theatre that after depature of Oleg Yefremov had almost fully degraded with new wine, and officially removed the `senile` word of `academic` from the title of the Chekhov Moscow Art Theatre. By that time he had brought up a helluva young artistic gifts in his own theatre of the Tabakerka. They came right to time, but Oleg also restored the old theatrical company. He was against the war of generations. Every generation got his own piece of cake in his theatre! The only licence, liberty he permitted himself was the removal of the Konstantin Stanislavsky`s memorial brass. It`s rather strange taking into account that Tabakov and his theatrical company and pupils only belonged to the Stanislavsky artistic school! Besides his native city Saratov`s fans had two monuments to Oleg erected in the city!
Oleg Tabakov performed a very young leftist poet and maximalist in `A noisy day`. Young Quixote who attacked parents` furniture instead of the windmills, his character became a banner of the young generation! The first, wide and firm fame! Millions of postcards with his baby face! An idol of the Soviet teenagers of the 60s, those who are now from 60 to 80 years old.
Though, my friends, both monuments were dedicated not to him exactly, but to the iconic characters he had played, to his young hero from the feature film `The noisy day`, the one who cut with the sabre of his grandad the fashionable furniture as a symbol of the Philistinism (it was the 60s! time of the youth`s riots!) while the other monument was dedicated to Matroskin the Cat (see about this character below). As to `Another Man's Wife and a Husband under the Bed` you`re free to watch it with English subtitles here: https://youtu.be/GvugzRQ5GPg.
Sometimes Oleg was a stage director or co-director of the plays he participated like it was in The Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare. By 1978 a Russian poet David Samoilov had made a new translation of the play, and there was shot a TV performance where Oleg Tabakov played the part of Malvolio.
The Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare ACT II. SCENE IV. OLIVIA's garden. (from `MALVOLIO: Sweet lady, ho, ho` to `Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked`. Olivia - Anastasia Vertinskaya, Maria - Nina Doroshina, Malvolio - Oleg Tabakov https://youtu.be/vwnAOCsEku0
Malvolio? Why Malvolio? This character and his `ideology` directly relates to the future, to Beaumarchais` hero Figaro (`some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em`), and, on the other hand, it`s a comic parody on Shakespeare`s own Richard III soliloquy (Act I. Scene 2): `Was ever woman in this humour woo'd?//Was ever woman in this humour won?`). Therefore, it`s `a 3D` character, and, besides, he was near for Tabakov who emerged from the social nothing and got his piece of `greatness` owing to his talent and luck as he `had a greatness thrust upon` him. Merry, joyful as Malvolio Oleg managed to realize `the full prospect of` his `hopes` as a man too if to put it in Shakespearean. The TV version of The Twelvth Night was based on the Moscow `Sovremennik` Theatre`s production by British stage director Peter James.
A STAR IS BORN!
For children and more general public Oleg Tabakov has been often famous only with his remarkable role of Matroskin the Cat (or Cat Matroskin from the Russian word of `matros`, `seafarer`, since the cat`s bodies are often striped as a salors` vest). Cat Matroskin is a character of the Prostokvashino Village (Prostokvashino - lit. `Thicksourmilkino`) animation cartoon series including `Three from Prostokvashino`https://youtu.be/FOebKn_WhI0, https://youtu.be/3hnPSSnS1g0; `Vacation in Prostokvashino Village`https://youtu.be/B2L6sS4DsMY, https://youtu.be/6PuN-jRQ9Y8 and `Winter in Prostokvashino`https://youtu.be/CjurXDBscSQ. Before that animation film Oleg Tabakov was just a film star, after that he became a Superstar, and since then that formal status as well as that informal feline name has stuck to him forever. He was recognized the People`s Artiste not only de jure but also de facto. (You must know that the nickname of Nikita Mikhalkov is Hairy Bumblebee after he had performed the same name love song in the film from Ostrovsky`s classical play, as to the `Gipsy` song it was the Russian translation of a Joseph Rudyard Kipling`s poem).
The Song of Matroskin Cat
More frequently I can`t reject assertion
That I`ve become a different thing.
No longer dream of oceans,
Nature was replaced for me by the TV.
Time to forget what was yesterday,
So as of today, as of today
Neither neigbours nor close friends
Will have known me, o yeah! (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Strictly speaking, Cat Matroskin just blew up, as in a photograph in the pre-digitized epoch, the glow of the bright star of Oleg Tabakov who was being shot in films of many most prominent film duirectors of Russia since his young years. He played the title role in the Alexandre Mitta`s iconic movie `Do shine, do shine my glowing star`**** (the title of a famous Russian love song of the 19 c.)
The 20s of the 20 c. in province. Time of the Civil War after the revolution in Russia. A young stage director earns a living by arranging tours with the participation of the occasional actors and actresses while dreaming of the success of Stanislavsky and Meierhold. Stage director: Oh my God, what are you doing? Who needs these snivels of yours on Sakhalin Island? (to a lady accompanist) Please, like that, start! Go, go on! Dancer: I can`t understand what you want us to do! By the way, I played that scene in Rostov, in their Nobility Association. They tended my every need! Stage director: I wonder who was that gentleman. Lady Accompanist: Mr. Director, is it to be a cabaret number? Stage director: That bullshit will acquire a sinister meaning! (Dancing and singing a cabaret song) Follow my movements! Once more and keep abreast of me! Raise you knees higher! One, two, three! Go! Stranger: Mr. Director, one minute please!
The company of the Moscow Art Theatre reminded their stage director of that episode of his creative bio when celebrating his 75 Jubilee in 2011.
The Cancan from the feature film `Do shine, do shine my glowing star` of 1969. Danced after the showing a fragment from the film by the female part of the Moscow Art Theatrical Company. Being celebrated Tabakov sits in the hall, to the right of his wife, Marina Zudina. https://youtu.be/-k8U7Y5ebFQ
TRANSITION STAGE WHEN BULLSHIT ACQUIRED A SINISTER MEANING
The 90s were not the best time for the Russian cinema. There were not so many, mainly mediocre productions. The film directors got the long-awaited unlimited freedom of creation, yet it occurred that they had not been ready for that. Then neither producers nor film directors had habits of self-restriction that is an essential condition for the successful feature films. It resulted in many failures of the movies shot even by the most prominent film directors, including Mikhalkov, Ryazanov, Men`shov, etc.
The Oscar Prize Winner Men`shov had an amazing casting in his film `What a mess!` (in the original `Shirly-mirly` after the title of a senseless ditty hummed by the title hero), he foresaw the international success yet it was a terrific failure. Only some fragments of the film had a success, even in Russia. Unfortunately, Oleg Tabakov was also among actors of the film, he had a cameo appearance as a farcical character of someone Sukhodrishchev (a speaking family name, originating from the words of `dry` and `crap`), a socially active déclassé whose vocabulary mainly consisted of the tabooed expressions and their euphemisms and who used the freedom of word as he understood it to the full extent.
Oleg Tabakov as Sukhodryshchev in the Vladimir Men`shov film `What a mess!`(`Shirly-Mirly`) https://youtu.be/ysls18xKmm8
The US Ambassador: (as a witness in a Russian court, heavy accent) I am da US Ambazzador! And zzis is my sbouse Jennifer! (His spouse Jennifer was soon infatuated with the Russian language, and she collected and recorded the Russian unprinted word expressions and their euphemisms in the colloquial speech) Sukhodryshchev: Eff my stump, but I see the black people there!(Black people are the rarest guests in Russia) Ambassador`s spouse: Aha! Evv my sdump! The US Ambassador: Jennifer sdudies the modern Russian folglore! Sukhodryshchev: (taking the diplomat for somebody else, not understanding that he is a foreigner) I saw that gay in the Khimky flea market. He is a wooden penises` marketer! Policeman: Sukhodryshchev. Gonna have your eye climbed into your ass? Sukhodryshchev: Why, captain? It gives me heartache to hear him talking (Sukhodryshchev starts speaking with a slight accent of an Odessite) as a beach manager! Go away! Ambassador`s spouse: (recording) `... have your eye climbed into your ass`! Policeman: : (to US Ambassador) ... so you provide evidence that he had performed in madhouse ... The US Ambassador: Yes, I do! In White House ... Policeman: .. and your President awarded the wrist-watch to him ... Ambassador`s spouse: `... have your eye climbed into your ass ... ` What a wonderful expression! Sukhodryshchev: (suspiciously, in stupid anger) Hey you! Stop recording my effing words!
The 2010s. Moscow, evergreen Tabakov`s another jubilee. Directors of some leading Moscow repertory theatres gathered to remember the 90s and congratulate Tabakov. They chose the form of the 90s mafia get-togethers as they were being shown in the detective movies and wrapped up their congratulation in the rap.
Theatrical rap being performed by the artistic directors of some leading Moscow repertory theatres. Alexandre Schirwindt, The Satire Theatre; Mark Zakharov, The Lenkom Theatre; Konstantin Raikin, The Satiricon Theatre; Rimas Tuminas, The Vakhtangov Theatre; Evegeniy Pisarev, The Pushkin Theatre. https://youtu.be/Ob3OFlUfPFk
The theatrical rap
People forgot the 90s years
Nowadays authorities are not of that feather.
Criminal Moscow became a thing of the past,
Moscow today flourished as a theatrical paradise!
The world is ruthhless, it has its own rules,
Moscow is divided among the diff`rent business groups,
Real estate, construction, even mortuary,
The theatrical business enables to make a fortune!
None bothers to do their business in theatres,
If you`re trendy, fear not for recessions!
Social get-togethers, stock and single-show gangs,
Let alone us, the repertory theatres! Bang-bang!
Further, artistic directors of the leading Moscow theatres playing the parts of the mafia bosses describe their business and artistic achievements and jocularly `spread their fingers as a fan`as the criminals would say in the 90s, i.e. boast of their ability to answer the market, making money while keeping the high artistic quality. But they recognize the supremacy of the Moscow Art Theatre over them in that respect. Tabakov is kinda capo di tutti capi!
The Moscow Art Theatre is ahead of all!
The leader of that gang is true Al Capone,
He makes big money on the theatregoers,
Art for art`s sake due to him becomes profitable.
Tabakov is proud of that! It makes stress!
Hey, Al Capone, will you share your success?
You nipped too much, share with your theatrical bros!
Let us have audience too, or better at once your pay-box!
Of course, we hold you in high respect,
We wish you all you`d wish for yourself.
The family, children are proud of you,
Just share with us, such as you there`re few. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
SUMMING UP: GOING BACK TO ROOTS
A propos, Oleg Pavlovich Tabakov became an actor occasionally, though he was convinced all his life that all in our life was `pre-programmed`, predestined, he believed in fate, in Miss Fortune. After his father divorced his mother and left him and his beloved Jewish stepsister Mirra alone Oleg joined one of the teen street gangs, and to prevent an undesired, unfavorable turn of his fate, his mother literally made him enter the amateur drama studio.
It was right after the World War 2, in time when Oleg was a schoolboy. The Soviet state despite the deficit of finance generously supported various studios, sports, hobby groups and circles for the youth, they were free and voluntary for their participants. Mother`s efforts were very fruitful, as young Tabakov was infatuated with the scene and left Saratov for Moscow after school. He managed to enter the Moscow Art Theatre Drama School (in 1986-2000 he`ll have been its chancellor), actor Toporkov`s class, and four years later he graduated from it with honors.
That time country was under a democratic development, and Oleg made all his efforts to become an indispensable member of the Sovremennik theatre company. Though initially it was the children of the famous actors who made the backbone of the company, though not all but the most gifted of them, the number of the in-and-off-the-street young actors was increasing.
In the War and Peace
Oleg Yefremov, informal and formal leader of the new theatre, supported the same thinking great talents. He appreciated the artistic gift and business-like properties of Tabakov, his honesty, conscientious attitude to the tasks assigned and dependability, and soon appointed him the Sovremennik`s manager (Yefremov was the chief artistic director and remained the manager just for public as he totally relied on Tabakov in solving the practical problems and foresightedly granted him with the signature authorization, i.e. Tabakov was formal, legal director of the theatre though few could guess it).
Despite this Tabakov played in almost all performances and all films he was offered to participate, he enjoyed it, he strived for it, as, may be, never before later, and finally he had a severe heart attack before 30. After recovering he changed his life strategy, started only playing in the projects most interesting for him personally the more so because his position afforded of it, learned to to sleep for a couple of hours in his dressing room before every performance (it became his life-long habit).
As to his eating habits they must be mentioned in particular. The Sovremennik was often visited by the famous foreign actors and stage directors who invited the Russian colleagues to discuss the creative plans in the restaurants of the main Moscow hotels. The young people who could not use all those numerous forks and knives and never saw all those lobsters felt very shy and were afraid of showing their having not table manners. Only Yefremov who knew these manners perfectly and Tabakov who never felt embarrassed as he had had a starvation experience in childhood ate all they liked. While Yefremov`s manners were refined Tabakov just grasped all the lobsters with his hands, used slices of bread to clean his plate and then licked it. Of course, later he learned the right behaviour, and the way he ate was an act of the art, he performed the everyday solemn eating ritual, and despite this he had been maintaining the `right` proportions for a long time.
Miss Andrew: Dear friends, summing up three day experience of my service in your family, I have to regrettably admit that it`s no home but a nest of the lazy bones and leisure-seekers. On Friday, you, George, were 5 minutes late for lunch. What`s the matter? Dad: My bicycle was out of order! Miss Andrew: Shut up! Sit down, George! Your manners are off-putting. But I`ll knock them out of you, Sir! On Saturday, Mrs. Banks, you made me drink cold milk? What`s the matter? Mom: But gas was ... Miss Andrew: It explains why children of such parents are light-minded, idle and can`t behave!
When a decade later Yefremov left `Sovremennik` for the Moscow Art Theatre it was Tabakov who owing to his multi-dimensional experience became both chief executive manager and stage director of the legendary `Sovremennik`. The managerial skills and sincere intention to support young talents from capitals and province helped him to arrange the teenagers` drama studio and theatre in the former coal storage in the early 70s. The criterion of selection was an artistic gift, Tabakov had an absolute artistic flair and he could scent talents. He refused his own elder sun Anton who despite the verdict of his `unjust` father became an actor, yet rather soon left the profession, and successfully found himself in the restaurant business.
Tabakov not only replaced Yefremov in the Moscow Art Theatre in 2000, but also made it one of the leading theatres of Russia again owing to his policy of backing the right personnel, actors and actresses of any age and look who had not only the great artistic talents but also had a rare capacity of being attractive for public. Tabakov felt such folks and was never disappointed after inviting them to join his theatrical company, so it seemed to have been the earnest of his commercial success. The public eargerly goes to the theatres to watch the favourite actors, and accepts all performances they participate in, even the most difficult ones.
Again, while supporting the true talents, Oleg never asked anything in exchange for his support except for discipline, as he was an enlightened, but absolute monarch in his theatre. He fined his actors if they preferred the theatre activities to the much more profitable, but provisional participation in the giftless TV serials. `Giftless` is a key word! And he could withstand all the dangerous conspiracies and longstanding intrigues from outside, since he could professionally and personally control his theatre`s finances. He played as an actor, he was manager and stage director and a film star while remaining a natural-born educator who made children and teenagers take a liking to the literature, poetry, drama, art, he supported the national reciting contests, etc.
Dear friends! I find it great that hundreds of thousands of eleven-year-old boys and girls throughout the country compete in reciting passages from their favourite books. They recite them trying to express as bright as possible the charm of their favourite books, to reveal their inner meaning, they recite them in a manner inspiring others to read those very recited books. I`ve got children and grandchildren, therefore I take a personal interest in giving schoolchildren a taste to reading a lot of good books and thinking over what they read, and discussing the read books with one another. Put the case any way you please, it`s books, reading, to a considerable degree, form the inner world of a person. At least, I do think so. Nowadays clever, serious people argue about the way Russia should develop. I don`t know what that way should be, I`m only sure that our future must include reading as an indispensable condition. In any case Russia will remain a reading country. And I greet the participants of the First All-Russia`s Contest of the Young Reciters `The Living Classics`. I wish every success to the participating sixth formers. No matter what profession you`d choose in life, the love for books will help you achieve your purposes. I also greet all who took part in preparation and carrying out of the contest, school teachers, librarians, teaching methods specialists. May God help all of you! Good luck! https://youtu.be/QTSIEw6BpXI
Not only money, not only personal fame, success, things that he appreciated so much as they play an important parts in everyday life, but also his sincere care for the better, more cultural future of his country was Oleg Tabakov`s true incentive. It was the core motivation of his personality, indeed. He could relate very well both with a child and the President. Besides, Oleg met with Vladimir Putin being an official too. He said that the President lent an attentive ear to his recommendations concerning the cultural policies.
His Excellency, President of the Russian Federation paid his tribute to the great Russian actor, and it`s not his formal, but personal visit understandable for every Russian heart. It`s not an election trick! You may trust me, I`m not his supporter. On the other hand, being just indifferent for him as a politician, I dislike his political opponents. As to his proponents, well, I do not like `em much less but either. He`s a gentleman that`s what really matters. Oleg Tabakov was a gentleman too.
Oleg had succeeded in that way a lot before he was, as he used to put it, called to the Stage Director and Chief Executive Manager Upstairs. His departure became his last performance, his last entrance was greeted with applause.
He loved life, and life loved him. He sucessfully worked his way up from luck to happiness. What can I say in connection with all that? Just: Salut, l`artiste!
COMMENTARY * The background song sung by Andrei Mironov with whom Oleg Tabakov would often played together was taken by a highly-respected presenter of the Youtube video from another Russian TV Series `The 12 Chairs`.
Andrei Mironov as Ostap Bender in the Mark Zaklharov`s TV Serial `The 12 Chairs`from the Il`f and Petrov`s same name novel https://youtu.be/4QbJZVEi3zE
We see Oleg Tabakov and Andrei Mironov together in the first frames of the music video.
Music by Gennady Gladkov, Lyrics by Yuli Kim THERE SHOWS UP WHITE MY SAIL BEING SO LONELY
No, I don`t cry, I don`t howl.
With all the questions I am used to come right out!
What is our life? A game!
Whose fault is it this game enticed me fully and at once away?
Well, to whom should I apologize, eh?
They let me have it, and they all the same take no nay.
Doesn`t dowry of mine, got at my mother`s knee,
Deserve this modest and that fair fee?
Refrain
Let rages the heavy, strong gale
In fogs of the worldly high seas,
There shows up white my sail being so lonely **
Against the steel hulls of the ships.
You must admit it, cuz it`s so smashing,
To hit the bull`s eye almost effortlessly. Dash it!
The eagle eye, and push, and natural postural grace,
Forbidden fruit falls in your hands.
To tread a tightrope, ain`t it a pleasure?
Freeze, angels! See me thrilling wildly beyond measure!
You`ll judge my sins one day,
But now if you please, do justice to the game`s caprice.
Refrain
I`m neither pirate nor apostle,
It`s not that simple for me either to expose it,
So it may happen that due to my big concerns
I`ll have turned grey before you all.
No, I don`t cry, I don`t howl.
Be as it may, it`s swings and roundabouts.
And it may happen so, as bad luck would have it,
I`ll lose much more than I will gain ideed. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Refrain (two last lines twice)
**The mocking, taking out of its true context citation of a well-known line from the Mikhail Lermontov`s classical poem `There shows up white a sail so lonely`.
There shows up white a sail so lonely. Music by Alexandre Varlamov. Lyrics by Mikhail Lermontov. Sung by Sergei Lemeshev (record of 1942) https://youtu.be/4FKEsTZuNKY
Mikhail Lermontov (1814-1841) THERE SHOWS UP WHITE A SAIL SO LONELY
There shows up white a sail so lonely
In fog of azure of the sea.
What does it seek in a land foreign?
What did it leave in its own fee?
The waves heave, and the strong wind blows.
The mast bends squeaking aboard ship,
Woe! It doesn`t seek for a good fortune,
It`s no good fortune that it flees.
Beneath there lightens a blue current.
O`er it the sun rays shine as gold.
But restless sail strives for a riot,
As if there`s quiet in the brawl. 1832 (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
When I translate I feel I follow the melody rather than lyrics themselves.
Besides, I was at a loss how to put it in a right way. As you know cars and ships are of the feminine gender in English, they`re `she`. As to the `sail` it`s it! So I wrote it in my translation. But `sail` is a synecdoche, it`s a part instead of the whole which is `a ship`. Should I have written `she` for `it`? On the other hand, this very `sail` is not a `ship` all right. It`s a metaphor. Thus, `sail` implies `ship` as a synecdoche and `sail` implies `person` as a metaphor. I thought and made my mind to leave intact that very it. Therefore, I followed the formalistic, grammatical approach. Rather intuitevely, unfortunately. It seems to be a right solution, a substituting word used for forming a figurative meaning (synecdoches, metaphors) remains the same as a word and answers the grammatical requirements, or else the tropes would have randomly and occasionally changed the very grammar. It would have become `transexual`, in particular. Fortunately, the strict grammar rules and direct meanings of the words exclude it.
*** The Edvard Grieg`s music and especially his Solveig Song played a special part in life of Oleg. He tried to insert the Grieg`s melody in many films and performances where he played.
Sometimes his heroes sang it or just whistled it. It seems to have been a kind of talisman for him. When Oleg played the Chief of the Danish Police in the TV Serial `What the deadman said` based on a Polish novel Całe zdanie nieboszczyka by Joanna Chmielewska, his character would hum the Solveig Song.
****`Do shine, do shine my glowing star`. An old Russian love song (romance song)
`Do shine, do shine, my glowing star`. Sung by Polish singer Anna German in pure Russian as it was a language of her Siberian childhood before returning home. Picture from the Russian feature film `Admiral`. https://youtu.be/S9mcyFzlVd0
Music by Piotr Buklakhov, Lyrics by Vasily Tchuyevsky Do shine, do shine, my glowing star
Do shine, do shine, my glowing star,
The star of love, my welcoming,
You are my only, favourite,
The other won`t be anytime. (the last two lines twice)
The star of love, enchanting star,
The star of bygone, my sweet days,
You will be changeless and spectacular
At longing heart as yesterday.
With power of your rays unspeakable
My whole life has been lit up.
Whether***** I die, o`er my cubiculum
Do shine, do sparkle, my glowing star. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
***** The poet used `whether` in the meaning of `when`, `whenever` to produce an `archaic` effect, it`s a stylistic device.
Mrs. Irene: Good Evening, Mr. Józef Mr. Józef: Good morning, Mrs. Irene. Good evening, you’re looking especially swell today. Mrs. Irene: You’re nice man, Mr. Józef Presenter: Here came Mrs. Irene whose yearning to seem good-looking and young tends to loom large. Mr. Józef: Mrs. Irene, what a smashing dress! Mrs. Irene: Indeed? It’s me who designed it. Does it really please you? Mr. Józef: Words fail me. Mrs. Irene: They failed my husband too. But I should know the truth, `cuz I’ll go to the holiday house tomorrow. Mr. Józef: You don’t say so! Congrats, Mrs. Irene, accept my congratulations. Please, walk down, have a cup of coffee. Mrs. Irene: Don’t mind if I do. Thank you. Mr. Józef (seeing her right to table) : I know you love coffee very much. I’m very, very glad for your sake! You know, Mrs. Irene, we’ll have been missing you a lot. After all, for a month! Mrs. Irene: Ha-ha-ha! Mr. Józef: Anything wrong? Mrs. Irene: Oh, no-no! Get a long with you! It`s going to be just one-day holiday home. Mr. Józef: A-a-a-h! (being inarticulate with embarrassment). Mrs. Irene: Mr. Józef, my dear ... Mr. Józef: Your desire ...! 13 Mrs. Irene: Tell me, please, when the fist bus leaves for Košice 14?
Košice is a city in East Slovakia bordering on Hungary
Mr. Józef: At six a.m., ma`am. Mrs. Irene: Just a minute, please! Have you really meant a.m.? Mr. Józef: Yes, yes! Early in the morning. Mrs. Irene: You should have warned me! It is good that I have asked you to accurate. Six a.m. It’s to early for me! When does leave the next bus? Mr. Józef: Six thirty a.m. Mrs. Irene: Just in a half an hour? Mr. Józef: Yes, in a half an hour. Mrs. Irene: A mere half an hour?! It’s a kind of idiocy! What cares if to get up at five a.m. or five thirty? In any case you won’t have enough sleep. Besides, it’s curious to distraction why they drive their buses so frequently. Well, the next bus, when does...? Mr. Józef: At eight a.m. Mrs. Irene: What about eight thirty? Mr. Józef: Not provided for that time. Mrs. Irene: What if you are mistaken, Sir? Mr. Józef: This is ruled out! I insist on it! Mrs. Irene: You do insist now, but later it can turn out to be the bus leaves that time but you simply was not aware of this. Mr. Józef: It may not be so, ma`am! I answer for the information I report. Mrs. Irene: It doesn’t do me any good that you answer for the information you report! You’d better ... if you will ... consult the bus schedule again. Mr. Józef: Schedule? Here it is, that schedule. It reads sharp eight a.m., so to say, black in white. Mrs. Irene: Before this? Mr. Józef: Before this seven thirty. Mrs. Irene: That’s interesting indeed, they have got seven thirty, but they haven’t got eight thirty in their schedule. Mr. Józef: No, they haven’t got, sorry. Mrs. Irene: A ridiculous schedule. Who on earth invented it? Mr. Józef: I’m sorry, Mrs. Irene. I’m at work. Mrs. Irene: Just a minute, Sir! Make me see, the bus doesn’t leave at seven thirty a.m. Mr. Józef: No, it doesn’t at seven thirty a.m. Mrs. Irene: What time the next one? Mr. Józef: At eight! Mrs. Irene: And the bus following the next? Mr. Józef: At nine a.m. Mrs. Irene: When will it arrive to Košice? Mr. Józef: At noon, ma`am. Mrs. Irene: At noon? Mr. Józef, it’s an absurd. You simply panic me! I’m going to spend there only one day rather than a month! How will I manage to have a rest? At noon! Tell me, please, is there a bus leaving at eight thirty a.m.? Mr. Józef: No, there is not! Mrs. Irene: Our usual way, there isn’t what people need, there is only what they don’t need. Mr. Józef: You should leave at eight a.m. Mrs. Irene: I ask you not to order me when I should leave. I’ll go when I will. He’s, so like, brute. You can't get a word out of him, if you have managed you’ll be sorry for it. Be so kind, please, gimme the schedule, I’ll consult it myself. Mr. Józef: It’s your right, after all, ma`am. Here you are! Mrs. Irene: Is this schedule accurate? Mr. Józef: Accurate. Mrs. Irene: Up-to-date? Valid? Mr. Józef: And how! Mrs. Irene: Though, who cares if it’s valid or obsolete, in any case buses run either late or early, it is our usual way: bus schedule is of itself while buses are in their own way. Mr. Józef: You’re wrong, ma`am. You’re mistaken. Our buses leave as scheduled. Mrs. Irene: No hope! What can you only say, Sir? Mr. Józef turning away with silent indignation Mrs. Irene: Just a minute. A minute! Tell me please is there a bus leaving at eleven a.m.? Mr. Józef: No, there isn`t! Mrs. Irene: Then why? Mr. Józef: How would I know? Mrs. Irene: You wouldn’t, Sir! You seem to know absolutely nothing! Mr. Józef: I am awfully sorry, Mrs. Irene. I must serve people. Mrs. Irene: Just a minute, what does it mean that your `I must serve people`. Who am I then, not `people`? How do you like that? When I need it badly I can’t get to my holiday house due to their stupid buses. I am to be there at eleven a.m. Mr. Józef: Mrs. Irene, the bus leaving at eight a.m. arrives in Košice sharp at eleven a.m. Mrs. Irene: 15 When? Mr. Józef: 16 At eleven a.m. Mrs. Irene: Why haven’t you told me that before? (Mr. Józef rolling up his eyes) Just look at the man! A large stature and well-built, yet such a numskull! My God, he’s worn me out! I say, he’s worn me out completely! Presenter: The sketch you have just watched is by Stephania Grodzieńska. Its title is `In the Inquiry Office`, but as you can see now it could have happened/could happen anywhere.
SEGMENTS #5&6 - A BOOZY PUPPET ON A TELEPHONE CORD, OR CAN SINGING BE THE SECOND JOB? 30:15-37:11 https://youtu.be/NxL7zltcRhM Mr. Boozy17: Good evening, Mr. Józef! Mr. Józef: Good evening, Mr. Boozy! Good evening! Mr. Boozy: Mr. Józef, may I ask you lemme use the pub’s telephone. Mine, at home, is out of order, somehow. Mr. Józef: Here you are, be free. Mr. Boozy: Thank you, Mr. Józef Presenter: Mr. Boozy is a big optimist; he’s always in good spirits. Yet today he was unlucky enough to find himself in the sketch `An Airplane Story` by Janusz Osęka18. Mr. Boozy: Hullo! I’d like to talk with Mr. Director. What’s my problem? Simply an airplane rammed into my flat. It must have run off the course! Yes ... you see ... me ... What? Mr. Director is out?! Well, then, put me through with his deputy. Hullo! Is Mr. Deputy speaking? Hello, it’s Mr. B-b-oo-oo-z-zy! The matter is that an airplane ... you see… Whiz! ... Smashed into my flat! So I’m pleading for a replacement of my flat or a possible recovery of the repair expenses. What? It’s not a Mr. Deputy? He is off? Be kind to connect me with Mr. Deputy’s waiting room. Hullo! Mr. Deputy, it’s still me speaking, Mr. Boozy on the subject of Whiz! and Boom! You see? Mr. De-de-de-puty! I’ve been said that it’s you who goes into the questions of Whiz! and Boom! Mr. Deputy is off? Then who is the acting deputy while he is off? Please switch me on him! What?! Is it urgent? Well, now I don’t know whether it’s urgent or not ... simply a plane flew in through my flat ... in time of war, yet I haven’t been able to get through to you since then. (to Zosia) Beware of telephones, Miss Zosia! I’ve been phoning for a quarter of a century without getting connected! Zosia: Getting connected? By phone? Sometimes one can’t get connected even without a telephone! Mr. Boozy: How so? You also have that `Whiz! And Boom!` problem? Your flat... Zosia: Not my flat, my salary! Mr. Boozy: Ah! Sorry, Miss. It is out of my line! Consult Mr. Józef!
Emil Horovetz `The Telephone Call (Hullo! Hullo!)` (Music by Vladimir Kudriavtzev. Lyrics by Yuri Polukhin) https://youtu.be/jqQzdLt4xNM
Zosia: Mr. Józef! Mr. Józef: I’m all attention. Zosia: The matter is my pay ... it seems to be so small. Mr. Józef: Ah! Now I see! Presenter: `Wanna have your pay raised?` This is the title of the sketch by German author Otto Fischer. Mr. Józef: Well, dear Zosia, I’d only be glad to intercede for raising your salary with Mr. Director! Zosia: How nice of you! Mr. Józef: Never mind! But there have to be all good reasons for this. Zosia: Agree. Mr. Józef: Let’s get things clearer now. There are 365 days in a year. Everyday night sleep is eight hours, altogether 121.5 days. Now we’ve got 243.5 days. You work eight hours every day, but the rest of the time you rest. It’s 121.5 days. So there remain 122 days. There are 52 days off. So we’ve got now... Zosia: 70 days. Mr. Józef: Right, dear Zosia. Your mental arithmetic earns praise! 70 days! Besides, everyday you are late 20 minutes in average... Zosia: 20 minutes? Mr. Józef: Yes, dear Zosia, that’s true. So we have to subtract four days. In all 66 days. Deduct holiday, 30 days. There remain 36 days. Seven days of public holidays. There remain 29 days. Twelve cleanup days annually! There are only 17 days. Well, half an hour of lunch hours per day, eight days a year, so there remain 10 days, plus eight days of your sick-leave. Zosia: But I had got my sick-list! Mr. Józef: What’s the difference! Zosia, darling! All in all, one day! O my! That day falls at New Year's Day! None works on New Year’s Day! Even we don’t. You should have had got two jobs at a time in here, dear Zosia, to get a pay rise! Zosia (with reproof): Mr. Józef! But I am a by-worker in here! I’m a singer! Presenter: To prove it now the UK singer Sandie Shaw is going to help sweet Zosia sing the song `Puppet on a string`19.
TO BE CONTINUED
IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE Presenter - Mikhail Derzhavin Mr. Józef, Bartender – Evgeniy Kuznetsov Director - Spartak Mishulin Mr. Paunchik - Oleg Solus Zosia, Waitress & Pub`s Singer - Valentina Sharykina Mr. Wotruba - Viktor Baykov Katharina - Natalie Seleznyova Mrs. Theresa - Zoya Zelinskaya Mr. Vladek - Roman Tkachuk Mrs. Irene - Tatiana Pelzer Mr. Boozy - Xenoviy Vysokovsky
Commentary
12 - It takes two to make a quarrel. 13 - Your desire is my command! 14 - Košice is a city in East Slovakia bordering on Hungary.
It was founded in the 13 c. In time of Austro-Hungary it was known as Kaschau.
There’s situated famous Jahodná ski resort. It seems to be Mrs. Irene`s destination.
15 Mrs. Irene (Actress Tatiana Pelzer)
Tatiana Pelzer (1904-1992) was informally considered to be `All-Russia’s `merited` babushka (granny`) and `mother of a Russian soldier` after a chain of the brilliant parts (mostly of the ordinary Russian village women) which had been played by her in cinema, theatre and on TV since the late 50s of the 20 c.
Her career of a superstar began only after she had been aged 50. Most amazingly is that being a true Russian heart and soul she had not a drop of Russian blood in her veins. She was half German half Jewish. Her father Ivan Romanovich Pelzer (Johann Robert Pelzer) originated from an old Russian German family whose founder Napoleon Pelzer came to Moscow from Rheinland-Pfalz by foot in 1821 and married a local German girl. The Pelzers were craftsmen, then merchants, but Tatiana`s father was `unserious`, he not only became an actor but also married the rich daughter of a descendant of a Kievan rabbi.
Bureaucratov(manager of cottage industry): Comrades, shut the door. Farmer (actor Ivan Pelzer) : Comrade Bureaucratov, do understand our position. Bureaucratov(actor Igor` Ilyinsky): I repeat once more that I’m to be promoted to Moscow and by that reason I have no time to take interest in trifles any more. Farmer: You just listen, sound’s dull as if it were from a log. Bureaucratov: Sound? First learn to play. Farmer: I’ve been playing for fifty years. ... But I’ve never heard such a sound. Bureaucratov: Comrades, it’s a mass-produced instrument. I can’t concern myself with every balalaika. Get it? (on the porch) Zoya Ivanovna, accept defective instruments from these people and hand them the same ones.
Maybe, such a turn of fate was to the better, as it happened on eve of the Russian revolution. The Pelzer family supported it and joined the Red. Tatiana married a German philosopher Hans Teibler and moved out to the motherland of her ancestors.
They were rich and lived in Berlin and München. She spoke perfect German as it was her native language. In München they used to encounter someone Hitler who gave speeches in pubs and sometimes sat next table. She didn’t like him as he was not a man of the type she would prefer. Once she cheated on her husband with his friend, Russian engineer Gromov, her husband banished her that, by the way, was found just by her, they divorced and she returned alone to Russia in 1931. It was a step they both were pity of all their lives. You mustn’t be hasty in such kinds of the life situations. They met only in the 50s but only as very good friends.
In Russia Tanya had to work as a typewriter, later she was an actress of theatre in Yaroslavl`, but her improbable and unexpected career rise after she’d even been considered unfit for stage was exclusively linked with the Moscow Satire Theatre and then Lenkom Theatre.
Manager: Well, comrades, my report is over now! Let me hear your comments if there’re any. Officer(man): There’s no need in comments. Ivan Nikodimovich made such a thorough report, such a deep analysis that it would be impossible to add something. I have nothing to add, absolutely. Officer(lady): But I can, I suppose. I’ll be frank. Having listened to Ivan Nikodimovich`s report, I got convinced one more time that we succeeded a great deal in having such an effective manager as Ivan Nikodimovich is. Manager: No need to be so complimentary, dear comrades. I’m embarrassed! Voice of an old lady from the corner: May I? Manager: You’re welcome. Old lady: Comrades, shame on you! Have a heart! What we’ve heard has been a sheer nonsense! Our office is being led by an utter fool. He’s incompetent, he’s a bamboozler, a career maker ... Manager: How dare you! Old lady: But I dare ... How long will we have been putting up with that disorder for? We must blow all the whistles! We must inform the top management! Manager: How dare you, ma`am! Old lady: This `How dare you! ` sooner relates to you, Sir! I know you’ll try to fire me off! It’s your usual practice! But national interests mean much more for me! I would not let you suppress criticism! Film Director: Stop! We’ll have to shoot this scene again. It won’t do! No class! (calling the actress playing the old lady) It’s a complete failure! You are a famous actress, madam. (to the cameraman) What’s her name? Cameraman: Mari`palna! (Maria Pavlovna) Film Director: Mar`vanna (Maria Ivanovna) What’s the matter! Such an experienced actress! Do not overact! It`s no poster! Act as in real life. Naturally. What’s the problem? Can you? Old lady: I can’t. Film Director: Why? Old lady: Because it never happens like this in real life.
She left the Satire Theatre 30 years later after a cosmic quarrel with its chief director. She had got a very complicated character, partly reflected by her in the sketch above, and, as once one of the famous Russian actors said, addressing her in public `none loves you, only the whole Soviet people`.
In fact, however, she had many friends; she was coquettish, wore elegant smart dresses, loved to dance very much and permitted herself some, though very expensive things, furs, diamond rings. She had no family. All she had got, including her flat in Moscow, she left by will to her housemaid, an ordinary Russian woman from a village.
When on tours in Germany she would turn out to be an average German Frau and, thus, tremendously impressed, even shocked her Russian colleagues. It was a lady! She died also in a very German way, from the disease invented in 1907 by Alois Alzheimer. All his life she’d been smoking only `Marlboro`. When she forgot its title she asked her friends to fetch those ones, very `tasty` ones`.
The Yeralash (lit. Muddle)(children`s and teenagers` TV comic sketches, #23 `Ain`t it the grandson!`https://youtu.be/gcvclYO-3i0
Grandson: Babushka, help me! Grandmother: On my rapid way, Miten`ka, rapid steps, my little one!
She always supported and helped the young actors and directors and followed them when their band of the young geniuses switched from the Satire Theatre to the Lenkom Theatre. This riskiest step occurred to have been the luckiest one for her. She became even more popular, the young actors who prevailed that time in the theatre called her in a colloquial way of the Russian pronunciation `baushka` (babushka) and tried to prolong her stage life. Oh, it was so touchy! The theatre administration also in time took measures to protect ageing Tatiana from the cunning frauds who attempted to forge her last will and banish her housemaid who’d been serving her for two decades. Solidarity and love in action! Reason and memory came back to her when her last day came. She spent it laughing and joking. T`was nothing more than miracle. Clowns die laughing. But it`s so sad only!
She played in many Russian motion pictures, see her in a music video based on the feature film `You never even dreamt of this`, 1980 http://www.liveinternet.ru/users/andrew_alexandre_owie/post401888474
16 Mr. Józef was played by the remarkable Russian actor Evgeniy Kuznetsov (1916-1973), the former Baltic Navy petty officer, a WW2 vet. Initially, after graduation from the drama school, he served in the theatre of The Group of Soviet Forces in Germany in Berlin, later in the Satire Theatre in Moscow. He also played in motion pictures, though his line was quite limited, mostly he played either Soviet military officers or, by the way, much more frequently, German high-ranking SS-men. Film directors found his appearance to be exotic and expressive and rather organic for playing heavy leads, his face seemed a kind of the muzzles of Isegrim the Wolf from the `Reynard the Fox`, or Big Bad Wolf from the `Little Red Riding Hood`, or even of cunning and cruel Reinecke Fuchs in person for them. Yet he played the real, historical characters, for example, Gauleiter der NSDAP (NSDAP Governor) of Ostpreußen (East Prussia) and Reichskommissar of Ukraine Erich Koch and a high-ranking member of the SA and the SS Friedrich-Wilhelm Krüger. The first character, that of Erich Koch, he played in the motion picture `Men of spirit`.
Men of spirit` (Сильные духом) (1967) (Episode One) 1:15:18 - 1:19:31. Score by Edison Denisov, Russian classical composer of the 20th c. https://youtu.be/cQp4GKvA-Io
Russian agent Nikolai Kuznetzov (Oberleutenant Paul Wilhelm Siebert) made an appointment to see, Gauleiter der (Governor) of East Prussia and Reichskommissar of Ukraine Erich Koch just to kill him, but refuses the idea having confronted the perfect security measures in his office and after obtaining by pure chance a military secret of the ongoing Kursk offensive revealed by the Gauleiter. Oberleutenant`s `girlfriend` is played by Victoria Fyodorova (1946-2012), Russian actress, daughter of the Soviet film star Zoya Fyodorova and U.S. Navy attaché, Captain Jackson R. Tate. The scene shown in the film took place in real life. Nikolai Kuznetsov, namesake of actor Evgeniy Kuznetsov, really existed and met Koch as well as the part of his `girlfriend`was played by the agent Valentina Dovgher. Their dialogue with Erich Koch as it was represented in the film was true-to-life too if to compare its contents with the official report sent to Moscow immediately after the agents` visit.
Erich Koch as he was in life
Oberleutenant: Heil Hitler, Oberleutnant Sibert, Wirschaftskommando (service corps). Erich Koch(Actor Evgeniy Kuznetsov): Take your seat. I’ve looked through your application, Oberleutenant, and I’m dissatisfied. I can understand your feelings but if all the officers begin to behave like you and start patronizing local girls who’ll be working in the local industry. Oberleutenant(Actor Gunārs Cilinskis from Latvia): But the girl originates from a German family, Herr Gauleiter. I hope it’ll be taken into account. Erich Koch: How long have you been at the Eastern front? Oberleutenant : Since the very beginning. Erich Koch: Where’s your unit? Oberleutenant : Near Kursk. Erich Koch: Mm. Not the best time for girls. Why are you here? Oberleutenant: Temporarily. I was wounded. Erich Koch : So you ask to leave her here. Oberleutenant: Yes. We’re engaged, Herr Gauleiter. Intentions. Serious, as you can see. I’d like to get my leave and went to East Prussia, my motherland to ask blessing. I’m stuck to the old traditions, so to say. Erich Koch: (by phone): No, this question’s closed. I won’t review it. Of course, bring it to their notice. Yes, yes. You’ve understood me right. (to Oberleutenant) So, you are from East Prussia? So do I. Who was your father? Oberleutenant: My father was a manager of Fürst (Prince) zu Schlobitten near Elbing. As to me, before the military academy... Erich Koch: Wait! About you later! I’ve remembered you. Once, in 1935, I partook in hunting in his estate. Fürst zu Schlobitten personally accepted us. You smoke? Help yourself! (Alsatian barking to satisfaction of Koch). Is old Fürst still alive? Oberleutenant: No, he died in 1940, before the very Easter. Erich Koch: So your father was his manager? Oberleutenant : Yes, he’s been serving for him for 40 years. Erich Koch: Praiseworthy! Oberleutenant: Pleased to hear it, Herr Gauleiter. Officer(in the waiting room, to Oberleutenant`s girl): `Freulein, are you always so silent?` Girl: I don’t know. Erich Koch: The man who, like you, plans to stay in Russia and, thus, to dedicate himself to settlement and developing the Eastern territories must remember something useful for him. What do you think, Oberleutenant, who is more dangerous for us, Polish or Ukrainians? Oberleutenant : I don’t know. I see no difference between them. Honestly, never thought about it. Erich Koch : Some of us construe germanization in a naive way. They think it’s making Polish, Russian and Ukrainians learn our language. We need neither of them. We are to germanize lands rather than peoples.* But now, Oberleutenant, I think you must ASAP arrange your affairs and return to your military unit. You’ll hardly get your leave if it’s near Kursk. It’s going to be hot there. What’s morale of your comrades at the frontline? Oberleutenant: All are fully resolved, Herr Gauleiter. Erich Koch: What was their attitude to the recent events? Oberleutenant: Stalingrad? It raised our team spirit! Erich Koch: As you say, she knows four languages? Oberleutenant: Yessir! German, Russian, Ukrainian, Polish. Erich Koch: That’s good! Here it is. Oberleutenant : Thank you, Herr Gauleiter. I’ll never forget what you’ve done for me. Heil Hitler! Erich Koch: Heil, Hitler!
Nikolai Kuznetsov (Oberleutenant Paul Wilhelm Siebert) as he was in real life, 1942
Nikolai Kuznetsov pretended to have been a German Wehrmacht officer for two years. Some of his high-ranking `friends` in Reichskommissariat Ukraine must have guessed he’d been an agent, Russian or British one, and they used him to `leak` in hope for their better future after the war in case of the Reich`s defeat. Thus, he occurred to have been a holder of the secrets of a top strategic value three times at the least (location of the Hitler headquarters in Vinnitsa, plans of the Kursk offensive, attempted murder of Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin at the Tehran conference). That time the Cambridge Five`s fifth member, British and Soviet intelligence officer John Cairncross also provided the Russian General Headquarters with information which influenced the Battle of Kursk later.
When East Prussia fell Erich Koch fled to Denmark aboard an icebreaker, later he came back to Germany and lived there with no worry as none took interest in him, neither allies, nor Poland, nor Ukraine, nor Jews. He wasn’t sought for. He was let down by his harmful habit of giving speeches in public, he was recognized by the settlers from East Prussia who were very angry with the loss of their motherland, informed on and arrested by Britishers who passed him to the Russian. The Russian passed him to Poland which he didn’t do any harm and he spent there his life sentence until died aged 90. All attempts to execute him as a high-ranking war criminal were being stopped by the undisclosed mighty forces behind-the-scenes.
* Then, according to the formal report sent to Moscow, Gauleiter added what was omissed in the motion picture for the reasons of political correctness: `Ukrainians are just the Russian lowbrow who’s ready to slaughter even his Frau (wife) for the idea of their own Ukrainian state. They are ideal as privates at war with the Red Army, but after fulfilling that mission they are liable to total sanitation (i.e., destruction) as the most frightful barbarians`.
Actor Evgeniy Kuznetsov
As to Friedrich-Wilhelm Krüger Evgeniy Kuznetsov played him for the first time in the TV Serial `Major Vikhr` in the early 60s and, later, in `The 17 Instants of Spring` in the early 70s. They were neither comic nor satirical films, but very serious military dramas. Both TV series were based on the popular, the same name novels by Yulian Semyonov which title hero was a Soviet intelligence agent, SS-Standartenführer Max Otto Stierlitz.
This person never existed in reality, it’s a pure artistic image, yet ably built by author in the `tissue` of the real historical events. Stierlitz was a subordinate of Walter Schellenberg, the SD Chief, and Friedrich Krüger was one of his colleagues.
The novel/serial `Major Vihr` described the real events of 1944 when the SS/SD following Führer`s order initiated a special program of destruction of the Slavic cultural capitals, Kraków (Cracow)(Poland), Bratislava (Slovakia) and Prague (Czech Republic).
Kraków (Cracow) where allegedly imaginary The 13 Chairs Pub was being `located` from 1966 to 1981
The government of Russia formed a special body that coordinated the different intelligence services (NKVD and GRU-SMERSH) to prevent this extermination program, and they fulfilled their tasks, so all the cities remained whole. SS-Obergruppenführer and Waffen-SS General Friedrich-Wilhelm Krüger lost in that silent war which was to have been finished with a big boom and total erasure of Cracow, first of all.
The first episode of the 1973 TV Series `The 17 Instants of Spring` dedicated to the activities of a Soviet agent Max Otto von Stierlitz https://youtu.be/OG8mNo2uCeo
Waiting room of the Imperial Security Chief Administration, 13.11,1945 18:23 p.m. SS-Obergruppenführer Ernst Kaltenbrunner(Actor Mikhail Zharkovsky): Take your seat. Voice-over(Actor Yefim Kopelian): TOP SECRET (STRENG GEHEIM). PERSONAL RECORD (PERSONALAKTE) of Krüger, Fridrich-Wilhelm, SS-Gruppenführer. PROFILE. Member of the National Socialist German Workers' Party since 1929. True Aryan. Devoted to Führer. Character Nordic. Firm. (Character nordlicher. Hart.). In relations with his Comrades he is even, sociable (Im Umgang mith seines Kamaraden zeigt er ein gutes Verhalten). Merciless to the Reich’s enemies (Unerrbittlich gegen Feinde des Reichs). Family man. Had not been discredited for the undesirable connections. Gave a good account of himself as an indispensable specialist in his sphere of activities. * Kaltenbrunner: Can you find any excuses, sufficiently objective, to be justified by the Führer? After all, you and you alone were responsible for the operation of vengeance in Cracow, Krüger. Here you are. Look through these reports. Reports on how Cracow was not blown up. Having looked through, be ready to counter.
Ernst Kaltenbrunner as he was in real life
Krüger (actor Evgeniy Kuznetsov): I’ve got no excuses. There can be no excuses. No. I’m a soldier. At war like at war. I cannot be recommended for mercy. Kaltenbrunner: This failure needs a thorough analysis to never repeat it ahead. Krüger: Obergruppenführer, I know my guilt is boundless. Yet I’d like you to listen to Standartenführer Stierlitz *. He was let into all details of the operation and could confirm that all had been prepared thoroughly and conscientiously to the highest possible degree. Kaltenbrunner: Stierlits had not anything to do with the vengeance operation, he’s Schellenberg`s man and he solved quite different problems in Cracow. Krüger: I know, he coordinated the search of the lost V projectile and investigated the physicist Runge affair. But I considered it to be my duty to inform him of all details, not unfoundedly expecting he’d report how we were preparing operation as soon as he`d meet SS-Reichsführer or you when back in Berlin. I was waiting for the additional orders from you. But I was left without them. Kaltenbrunner: Was Stierlitz among the persons authorized to be informed of the operation? Krüger: I do not know it exactly. Kaltenbrunner(after calling his secretary): I’d like to inquire whether Stierlitz from the VI department of the Imperial Security Chief Administration was included in the list of persons authorized to participate in the Cracow destruction operation? Krüger: Obergruppenführer, it’s my fault, after all. I’d feel hurt if Stierlitz has to be punished because of me. I have respect of him as a devoted struggler. Ready to atone my guilt with my own blood in the battlefield.
Krüger (actor Evgeniy Kuznetsov)
Kaltenbrunner: Who’ll be struggling with our enemies here? Me? Alone? It would be too simple to die for the fatherland and Führer at the front. Now it’s more complicated to work, burning filth with the red-hot iron, here, when they drop their bombs. Courage is not enough, Krüger, intellect that’s what we need here. Great intellect. (after looking through the list of the authorized persons brought by secretary and addressing him). Learn, please, whether Stierlitz met the highly-placed persons after his return from Cracow. If he did, then get to know who they were. Inquire about the issues he touched upon at those conferences. Secretary(actor Stanislav Korenev): I’ve done it for any case. He didn’t meet any highly-placed persons with his reports. As soon as he was back Stierltz switched to the work related with a choice of persons to be infiltrated in the Southern group. Kaltenbrunner: Thank you. You’re dismissed. (to Krüger) Have rest today. Tomorrow bring me complete and detailed written report on the course of events related to the preparation of the operation. We’ll think about a job to place you in. There are few people, but there`s much work, Krüger. Too much work! Heil! Krüger : Heil! Kaltenbrunner(to Secretary): Select information on all Stierlitz`s activities of late year or two. But do it in a way excluding Schellenberg`s getting to know about it. Don’t panic! Stierlitz is a valuable worker and courageous man. We shouldn`t throw a shadow on him.
* Profiles of the SS chief officers made in that way, designed like that never existed in reality. The authentic personal profiles never contained word expressions like `Character is Nordic, firm`, `Merciless to the Reich`s enemies`, etc. either. Besides, all SS documentation was being typed in Gothic font. So, those invented profiles were just integral parts of the TV film`s imagery. The enemies were being described not like satirical caricatures or beasts in human form, devils and monsters, but as humans intendedly involved in a inhuman system as a result of their firm belief in righteousness of their cause and ideology. Like clever enemies who later had to pay bills for what had been done by them, crimes agaist humanity, destruction, etc. The postwar cinema of Russia, in the period when the WW2 vets were still alive, produced many realistic war films. They were not cartoons, Germans didn`t act like clowns in them. This is the principle difference from the Russian pre-war films that anticipated the Hollywood approaches. Then Germans had been shown in the same way the Russian have been shown in the American cinema in a period of the recent Cold War and up to now. Life amends stereotypes in the long run. Yet I find stereotypes of that type rather `stalingradish` prospectively. Imagination ought to be on friendly terms with reality, and not only in the art. Not getting entangled in lies is the first and only principle of the human race`s survival for the time being.
Major Vikhr. Episodes with Fridrich-Wilhelm Krüger played by Evgeniy Kuznetsov 8:21-12:53https://youtu.be/6y8RJJqp3pM
INTERROGATION SD Chief Krüger(Evgeniy Kuznetsov): This is devilishly interesting, major. What to do with you, writers? I can`t help admiring of y`all. I wish we, intelligence officers, had got your memory. What? You still insist on your having interviewed that Libo Sr. in Hamburg who was manning the barricades in 1922? Major Traub(actor Vladimir Koenigson): Yes, I do. It was him, indeed. SD Chief Krüger : What was his name, d`ya remember. Major Traub: Libo, just Libo. Everybody called him like that. SD Chief Krüger : No mistake? Major Traub: No. SD Chief Krüger: You venal creature! Bastard! Stand up! There was no Libo! There was Bohl, got it, Bohl! There’s only one Libo. He received that name in the boarding school. Where did you hear this story about Libo?
Crakow`s SD Chief Krüger and Abwehr`s colonel Berg (actor Wladislaw Strzelczyk (Russia). That colonel taught Russia to use the word of `coffee` in the cultured and cultural masculine (HE) rather than folksy neutral (IT) grammar gender as he knew Russian better than some Russian characters. His aristocratic manners, wit and culture greatly impressed the whole nation in 1967, and many ordinary folks were made to want to become less ordinary and even out of the ordinary.
CONFESSION SS-Obersturmführer Libo(actor Peeter Kard ( Šmakov) from Estonia): Is there a scrap of truth in Traube`s words, Herr Oberführer? SD Chief Krüger: There is, my boy! There’s naked truth in his words. But it doesn’t throw a shadow on you in any way. You are not a son of an enemy; you are a son of the nation. Remember whether you told anyone about your task? SS-Obersturmführer Libo: None, my Oberführer! SD Chief Krüger: I trust you, my boy! You helped us a lot. Thank you. SS-Obersturmführer Libo: Oberführer, was my mother also a nation’s enemy? SD Chief Krüger: You know, I can’t deceive you, my brother-in-arms and Party
Comrade. She was our enemy not to the less extent than your father was. SS-Obersturmführer Libo: Is she alive? SD Chief Krüger: No. No, as she was put in the concentration camp, and you know its motto: ARBEIT MACHT FREI. She could have become a mother of a German. But she preferred the different fate. She abandoned you to join our enemies. You were deprived of mothering, motherly love. She got shot caught flat-footed in the attempt. Führer`s hands accepted you, sonny! Didn’t they do it? SS-Obersturmführer Libo: Yes, Oberführer, they did. SD Chief Krüger: SS-Reichsführer knows about your fate. He values you, he’s proud of you! We cannot tell lies one another. Forgive me for this truth. Do you understand me? SS-Obersturmführer Libo: Yes, I do, Oberführer. SD Chief Krüger: Have you felt an impulse of compassion at your heart? SS-Obersturmführer Libo: Compassion? Upon whom? SD Chief Krüger: You said it! Well said! If you feel like talking with me, you are welcome at all hours. Now you are free to go. I have got much work to do. SS-Obersturmführer Libo: Heil Hitler! SD Chief Krüger(a little bit puzzled): Heil Hitler! DEATH OF A FANATIC (to 14:33)
A RUSSIAN `GRAMMAR` COMMERCIAL (Implying Colonel Berg`s improvised Russian lesson from the Yulian Semyonov`s novel/TV series of the `Major Vikhr`). https://youtu.be/Ly_x3gqL1kE
Boy(showing coffee `Grand`): Here IT is! Girl: You should have said: Here HE is! Boy(addressing a handsome gentleman): May I ask you, Sir? Oi! (admiringly recognizing the Soviet and Russian film and TV superstar Ivars Kalniņš from Latvia who became the face of the Grand coffee on the Russian TV) Coffee, is it IT or HE? Ivars Kalniņš: It depends on coffee! Sometimes you swallow some coffee and feel that it is IT (i.e., shit!). Then you taste another one and you understand: it’s Him. Girl (to the boy, instructively, triumphantly!): It`s Him!
And now let`s return to the origin:
`Major Vikhr` (1967) - Which gender is `coffee`? 2:00:13 - 2:01:15 There are also fine fragments in German (a scene of interrogation in the Gestapo: 19:19-29:17 and 43:14 - 50:11) In the later, second scene of the interrogation characters wear the greenish SS field uniforms rather than Hugo Boss` black ones that corresponds to the historical time and place. Cracow SD Chief Friedrich W. Krüger (Actor Evgeniy Kuznetsov), SD Officer (Interpreter) Günter Fischer (Actor Oleg Golubitsky), Major Vikhr (Soviet Ossetian actor Vadim Beroyev) https://youtu.be/9W8pSnhXNII?list=RD9W8pSnhXNII
Anya(Actress Anastasia Voznesenskaya): You mustn`t boil the brew! Pour boiling water into the kettle and cover it with a towel. Colonel Berg(famous Russian actor with Polish name Wladislaw Strzelczyk (1921-1995)): Why do you think it`s right? Anya: My mother made tea like that. Colonel Berg: Then fine. Let`s do all like your mother would do. What about coffee? Do you like it? Anya: No, I don`t, because it is bitter. Colonel Berg: Well, I cannot but have to grade your oral Russian as poor. You should have said `He`. Coffee is of the masculine gender in Russian. Anya: Are you sure? Tea is `he`, water is `she`, coffee is `it`. Colonel Berg: Very poor, as I`ve said. Poor! Anya: I wouldn`t have thought! So strange!
Not only Anya, a Russian telegraphist captured by the Abwehr in Cracow, but also broad masses of the Russian population didn`t even suspect that `coffee` is of the masculine gender in Russian. Even the overwhelming majority of the ordinary middle school teachers were often not aware of it. And, wow! everything changed immediately after the `Major Vikhr` episode that contained that scene. People commenced to correct one another, the whole nation was agitated. Thus, a German character of the TV Series colonel Berg from the Army Intelligence (Abwehr) became an All-Russian teacher of Russian, a man of authority. When in 2015 scholars changed their mind to legitimatize both variants of grammar gender of the word `coffee`, both the masculine and neutral ones, it was too late, the nation refused the neutral gender of the word with anger! Colonel Berg, aristocrat from Germany, hero of the film, one who`d learned and lived in Russia before the WW2 and spoke irreproachable Russian, did his work! A magical influence of the art! Strange human psychology! We learn better when we`re taught by those whom we are fond of. As to Wladislaw Strzelczyk he played Napoleon Bonaparte in the same 1967.
A Feodor Bondarchuk`s feature film `War and Peace` (1967). (ENGLISH SUBS switchable!) Napoleon entered Moscow! Wow! (Or, maybe, `Blya!` It depends on which side you are on!) 12:18-16:02https://youtu.be/zXpkeV32LAQ
17Mr. Boozy – In the original Mr. Zyuzia (from the Russian idiom `drunk as Zyuzia`), though, to be honest, that character of The 13 Chairs Pub never appeared in drink. By the way, the word of `Zyuzia` has a dark etymology, none knows in Russia who that Zyuzia is, but he is supposed to be tipsy.
The fact, however, is that the character played by the Moscow Satire Theatre actor Xenoviy Vysokovsky (1932-2009) at The 13 Chairs Pub was a happy-go-lucky, mostly sober scribbler writing a never-ending novel about hares in the TV show, the one who `was born as a talented writer but was substituted in the maternity hospital` as once explained Presenter.
Assess asses! Mr. Director (Spartak Mishulin) and Mr. Boozy (Xenoviy Vysokovsky) at the bar of The 13 Chairs Pub https://youtu.be/IEP0Flrw1H0
Mr. Boozy: Mr. Director, just tell me honestly and frankly ... Have you ever thought about women`s love for animals? Mr. Director: It`s because ... because ... Nope, I don`t know! Mr. Boozy: Then judge: crocodiles give their skin for the lady`s bags and shoes, vixens give their fur for the collars or even, when it concerns the women who`s luckier, the lady`s coats, ewes give their wool for the lady`s blouses and so on. Mr. Director: What gives those with long ears ... asses? Mr. Boozy: Asses? Asses are used to pay for that.
Xenoviy Vysokovsky revealed the secret of his hero’s name which he offered by himself. It originated from the Assyrian word `zuzy` (money). Xenoviy Vysokovsky like Anton Chekhov was born as a talented comedian in Taganrog where representatives of the Assyrian people, his friends, lived. Xenoviy Vysokovsky was loved by people in Russia. When he left the theatre he became a popular stand-up comic. I can’t up to now get the hang of an epigram by Valentin Gaft, another outstanding Russian actor of the Jewish origin who once wrote an unjust, cruel epigram about Vysokovsky obviously intended to belittle Xena`s obvious talent: `When roads were open for the folks like you,//Anti-Semitic ranks just grew`.
Valentin Gaft and Xenoviy Vysokovsky in one frame, 1974
On the other hand, Gaft used to define his epigrams as the shocking and dangerous jokes. What`s curious, the evil, insulting, sometimes not unfair epigrams of that brilliant Moscow troll only contributed a great deal to the professional success of the epigrammazied stars. Kinda patent guide to summits of glory! So none ever hurt a hair on the author`s head. Gaft. Val Gaft. Tame tiger! Licenced to troll!
Actors and actresses of the Moscow Satire Theatre together with French director Antoine Vitez (1930-1990) (centre). Second left Mikhail Derzhavin (Presenter), fourth left Roman Tkachuk (Mr. Vladek), second right Xenoviy Vysokovsky (Mr. Boozy). Photo of 1977.
Actor would complain of two things which spoiled his life, the WW2 when he was a child and `perestroika` when he grew old.
Women pleased him, yet he was a dedicated family men, loved his wife, daughter and granddaughter and said that the most successful part he had managed to play in life was a part of a genuine `Jewish granddad`.
18Janusz Osęka (1925-2014) was a Polish actor of cabaret and remarkable satirical writer, one of the permanent authors of the satirical `Szpilki` magazine.
19`Puppet on a string` was a British pop song written by Bill Martin and Phil Coulter and sung by Sandie Shaw born Sandra Ann Goodrich.
Bill Martin, Phil Coulter and Phil Coulter and Bill Martin (above and beneath) and Sandie Shaw (above)
It was specially written, if not `designed` for the Eurovision contest in Vienna, by that very reason at the beginning of the song there was used a bassoon as well as a long note of a singer referred to Modugno`s 'Volare (Nel blu dipinto di blu)' (1959). All was to answer tastes of the Continent of Europe (that wide!), so all perfectly answered. Exact calculation!
Eurovision Song Contest 1967 - Winner: Sandie Shaw, Puppet On A String (United Kingdom) https://youtu.be/Vmyh9mUga-w
It even included the very scandal with bare feet of a peppy British girl singer of a basketball stature on stage of the standoffish palace where the Eurovision of 1967 was being held. A classical Veni, vidi, vici!
Domenico Modugno - Volare (Nel blu dipinto di blu), winner of the San Remo and Evrovision contests as a guest at `The Ed Sullivan Show`, US https://youtu.be/t4IjJav7xbg
There were many cover versions of the British pop song `Puppet On A String`, it was sung in many different languages. By women. There was only one man who had the courage to sing this song in a man`s name, it was Emil Horovetz. (`I am not a doll for you!`(1968). Of course, it wasn`t his best performance. Besides it is a fully women`s song. By the way, in the 60s Emil Horovetz voiced the Soviet `response` to the `Nel blu dipinto di blu`, it was his evergreen hit `The Blue Cities`.
SEGMENT #1 - LIKE CURES LIKE, OR CONSPIRACY OF TUBA 0:00 - 9:50 Presenter: GOOD EVENING, FRIENDS! ALLOW ME TO INVITE YOU TO THE 13 CHAIRS PUB, a gathering place of the merry people, characters from the comic magazines of the various countries, Polish `Szpilki`, Hungarian `Lúdas Matyi`, Bulgarian `Shershen`, German `Eulenspiegel` as well of our `Krokodil`1. So let’s drop in the pub whose bartender is Mr. Józef . Presenter: Good evening. Voices: Good evening. Presenter: Stories being told by the guests of our pub are quite tellable. They’re full of kind humour, friendly irony, light-minded volatile slanging matches, and funny misunderstandings. Though our frequenters speak in different tongues they speak the same language. This is being achieved owing to dictionaries and smiles. I’m right, aren’t I, Mr. Józef? Mr. Józef: Duh! A person who never smiles must NOT be taken seriously! Presenter: Do you always follow this rule? Mr. Józef: Absolutely! For example, our director, he never smiles (noticing the entering director) and I ... Presenter: Well, explain yourself! Mr. Józef: How shall I put it ... I can’t help taking our Director seriously ... (making appearance he’s just noticed the director) Good evening, Sir! Director: Good evening, dear Józef! Mr. Józef: To see you is a pleasure for me. Director: Reciprocally. Mr. Józef: Come in, please. Director: Thank you, Sir. Presenter: Meet our Director! He goes to work with his briefcase but says he bears his cross. Since recent time he’s had a hard time, suffering from an unshared hate. He has got a unique property, no matter how many things he makes efforts to hold in check, he can’t hold things together. Presenter: It’s Mr. Paunchik 2. A good fellow, but he just can’t seem to understand that there is no returning to caves of the primitive people, there’s too many of us for that now. Mr. Paunchik: I’m sorry. Still learn to blow, earlier I was a drummer. Presenter: You could have drummed as well. Mr. Paunchik: No way! I’ve changed my drum for the car! Presenter: Impossible! Where have you found such an eccentric? Mr. Paunchik: I hadn’t to find, he appeared by himself, he lives next door. Now I’ve switched over tuba! The beautiful but heavy instrument! I’ve been blowing for a couple of days and can’t help feeling joy! Director: Oh, no, no, no! (changing his mind on the run) It`s good! Blow one more time, please! Ha-ha-ha! It’s the very man I need. May I have you for a moment? You see I can`t still find a way to have our dance band disbanded. Its musicians stick together and are loved by our guests. So they won’t cooperate with me in that respect, clear? Mr. Paunchik: Clear as noonday! Director: If to introduce you with your pipe into their band they won’t stand it in spite of their steel nerves. Mr. Paunchik: None would stand it. Surely! Director: My dear.... (whispering in confidence) Presenter: Here’s a conspiracy! The plot hatched by writer Mark Zakharov in the beginning of his short story. It had been just now dramatized for you. As soon as our band prepared to perform a big pop repertory what must they do but face this backstage collusion. Director: (to Paunchik): Well, my dear … let’s begin with this, whatshisname, Mr. Allegro Moderatov … Blow! Conductor: May I ask, what are you doing? Mr. Paunchik: I’m playing. Conductor: It would be nice to have your playing recorded. After that it would be nice to destroy the record. Presenter: It’s our conductor. He considers himself to be an expert on music on the ground that he isn’t an expert on painting. Director: You’re wrong, Sir, he is a very talented person, a person of natural gifts. He always blows. Mr. Paunchik: Exactly! I blow all my leisure time on blowing. But now I’m dreaming of playing music in a well-established collective of the mature musicians. Director: The matter is we can’t refuse him. He’s an amateur musician. We have to support talents. He blows what he wants to blow. Besides your band already has got a musical dilettante, I mean your out-of-staff contrabass. As to Mr. Paunchik, he’s on the staff in our system. Mr. Paunchik: There's no doubt I can’t be refused! Director (to Mr. Paunchik): You’ll go on blowing. Mr. Paunchik: I’ve got almost no repertory. Perhaps, The Nightingale by Alyabyev might be heard though not all the way. Director: Let’s get started from the third number. Conductor: What was it? Mr. Paunchik: I began with The Nightingale and finished with the Flight of the Bumblebee 3.
Conductor: Well-done. Let it be. Mr. Paunchik: Unfortunately, I lost my mouthpiece. If not that I could play much better! Though, I can play much better even without my mouthpiece. If you will I could blow you up with my playing the Sabre Dance of the Little Swans 4! You`d be gone with the wind! Conductor (to Director): I say, he must be only pretending to be a cretin. He’s got a strong wind and something else. (to Mr. Paunchik) Follow me, youngster! Zosia, be kind to sing something until I`m back. Director: Yes! Be kind, please! Presenter: Zosia`s song. Its lyrics may need no translations. `We're kissing!`5 This is the title of song sung by Zosia with Polish pop singer Halina Kunicka.
SEGMENT #2 - MR. WOTRUBA & DIRECTOR 9:50 - 13:50
Director: Mr. Wotruba! Have bills of work volume been ready? Mr. Wotruba: As you’ve ordered, Sir! I’ve been working for a week, even in the evenings; there’s a bit too big work volume. I’m sorry, there’s only a little to finish. Director: I hear your words, but I don’t see your work! Now then, go back quick, you office drudge! March! Presenter: Accountant Wotruba. He’s a very careful person. He follows traffic rules even while crossing his own flat. Mr. Wotruba: If I used such expressions which our director affords himself to use they would say that I’m just a hooligan. As to him he’s said to be an effective manager. What should I do with those damn bills? Voice: Don’t give a damn for them! Mr. Wotruba: Have you listened?! I’ve caught it at last! Ear noise! Surely, I won’t last till my retirement. God is my witness! He’ll eat me up! Voice : I hope he’ll choke on it! Mr. Wotruba: What the hell? Who said it? Voice: Your inner voice! Mr. Wotruba: What a load of bull! Voice: What a fool you are, Mr. Wotruba. Make your `murderer` pay your overtime work! Mr. Wotruba, you are a human being rather than a machine! Mr. Wotruba: Wait a little! These words seem to be very right! Director(fading-in, in memory of Mr. Wotruba): You paper shuffler! Used up a barrel of ink, but no real work! Mr. Wotruba: What could I tell him and still behave properly? Inner voice: Just tell him: `You shameless man!` Mr. Wotruba (aloud, shouting) : You shameless man! Director: Who’s the shameless man? Mr. Wotruba: It’s you who is a brazen man, Sir! Director: Didn’t get it, what? Mr. Wotruba (to himself, in terror) : I feel like apologizing until it’s too late. Inner voice: That’s impossible! Tell him: `Get what you’ve heard, boss!` Mr. Wotruba: Hey you, chief! Get what you’ve heard! We never drank brotherhood with you! And don’t thou me! After all, I’m older than you! Director: If you don’t like anything you can … thou me too! Mr. Wotruba: I’m sorry! Inner voice: Shut up! Tell him: `You effing bureaucrat and pendant!` Mr. Wotruba: Not at any price! Inner voice: Say it to him quick! Mr. Wotruba: Bureau … Director: What’s the matter? Mr. Wotruba: … crat! Inner voice: Go on! On! Expoit your success! Mr. Wotruba: You effing bureaucrat who drubs and belabours people! Director: Who? Me? Mr. Wotruba: Who else? You! Director: Do you know … Mr. Wotruba: I know, I do know all. (to himself): He won’t fire me off, he’ll only kill me. (aloud) I’m through with my overwork; none shall trample my rights any longer! Director (startling): What, what’s with you, Mr. Wotruba? Maybe, little vodka … eh, sorry … water? Mr. Wotruba: I don’t need your `voder`! Director: Mr. Wotruba, calm down. None is without sin among us. Don’t worry, do as you think fit, you know! Mr. Wotruba: I do know! Don’t teach me! I know what and how to do! I learned the ropes! Director: Better have a smoke, eh? Mr. Wotruba: What does it mean, all your `not in the very least, not a sound, not a drop`? Director: We’ll have created all favourable conditions for you! Mr. Wotruba: Too late to be rewarding! (the director’s hiding behind the bar counter) Gonna show you now! (whistling in a backstreet boys` way). Get lost! The guests at tables are clapping and shouting: `Bravo! Encore! A high time it is, Mr. Wotruba!` Mr. Wotruba is making a bow and returning to his place. Mr. Wotruba: Voice of mine, where are you, my dear? Inner voice (in a rudely familiar way) : What d`ya want? Mr. Wotruba: Thank you, my dear! Darling, I feel like being reborn! Now I’m turning out to be different! Severe tone of director’s voice is being heard : Mr. Wotruba! Mr. Wotruba is rolling oneself into a ball like a hedgehog and hiding behind the menu card.
SEGMENT #3 - ZOSIA & KATHARINA 13:50 - 16:36
Katharina: Good evening! Zosia: Good evening, Katharina! I’ve heard you’re going to marry. Congrats. But it`s a change of your conditions till your dying day. Katharina: Everything always looks bleak for you, Zosia! Why is it so? Presenter: This is Katharina, accountant Wotruba`s daughter. I don’t like to retransmit the gossips, but what else to do with them? Zosia: What a charming ringlet! Is it your fiancé’s gift? Katharina: Yes, it is! Zosia: I’ve heard he was going to present a car with you. Has he changed his mind? Why has he limited himself to giving you just a diamond ring? Katharina: He must have failed to find a fake car! Zosia: Have you known each other for a long time? Katharina: Nope! We met at a dry-cleaner’s. He came there with his suit. I immediately liked a quiet and not nervous way of his standing in line. When it was his turn I explained to him politely we were forbidden to accept suits in such an unprepared state, he should have had all buttons cut off. He was arguing just a little and very politely. Even pleasantly! An hour later he brought back his suit, and I immediately realized that he was single. Half of buttons were torn off! Absolutely! I explained to him, again in a cultured way, that we were forbidden to accept suits in such an unprepared state; he should have had his suit’s lining undone either. I saw him getting upset a little with something. Zosia: Poor thing! Katharina: Next day he came to the very opening of our dry-cleaner’s. He was the 97th in line. He looked reduced and frightened. That time his suit hadn’t got lining, but naturally he missed that he had to have lapels` coat-breasts removed! I explained it to him. He kept silence rather long. Then he began to pull out lapels with his teeth. I offered him some water. He pulled himself together, apologized and went away. Well, I thought he wouldn’t be back! But late in the day he came dragging himself along. His lips were wobbling. His eye twitched. T`was a sorry sight. So I served him without his waiting for his turn. Zosia: How nice of you! Katharina: But his suit was made from the synthetic fabric. We never accept such things at our dry-cleaner’s. While waiting for an ambulance I kept fanning his face with the dry-cleaner’s written policy regulating procedures of accepting things. Everyday I visited him in hospital. He silently held my hand and was about to burst out sobbing. By now he’d almost recovered though doctors warned that from time to time he could bite off pillowcase’s buttons in his sleep. Today he discharged from hospital and popped the question! He expressed himself as in verses: `She lov'd me for the dangers I had pass'd; //And I lov'd her that she did pity them`6. By the way, he wrote this himself! On the other hand, dear Zosien`ka, I`m lost in guesses if he really fell in love with me or has just got a lot of things he needs to have dry-cleaned? Presenter: True romance, isn`t it?
SOUND OF CRASH OUTSIDE Mrs. Theresa: It’s the devil knows what! It’s the devil knows what! Mr. Vladek: I’m sick and tired of that al last! Mrs. Theresa: Ah! It’s the devil knows what! Why should you brake on a wet slippery road? Mr. Vladek: But I started braking after you’d grasped at the wheel. Mrs. Theresa: I caught hold of it because you drove at warp speed. Mr. Vladek: I stepped on the gas to escape from a FIAT whose driver was called names by you. Mrs. Theresa: I called names because the FIAT driver looked at me and gave the screw-loose sign at the moment you were overtaking him. Mr. Vladek: He put his forefinger to his temple and twisted it because you put out your right hand as if to show that we were to turn right! Mrs. Theresa: I put out my right hand to show you the tree we were about to run into because of your idiotic driving. Mr. Vladek: But we ran into the other tree! Mrs. Theresa: Of course! As always you did all to spite me! L`IN CHORUS: That’s all! Enough! Divorce! Mrs. Theresa: Right now, immediately, on the spot! Divorce! Mr. Vladek: Without any delay! Presenter: Good evening! Mr. Vladek: Good evening! Mrs. Theresa: (with annoyance) Good evening, goo evening, goo`vning! Yes, yes, yes. yes! Presenter: Our old acquaintances, Theresa and Vladek. The spouses live in accordance with the law of unity and struggle of opposites. Stating that what is real is reasonable Hegel never meant by this their marriage 7.
INDOORS Mr. Józef: Oh, my cheers for you. L`IN CHORUS: Good Evening. Mr. Józef: Welcome, Mr. Vladek. AT TABLE Mrs. Theresa: Why did I marry that awkward person! Dozens of men made court to me! They were clever than you, I think. Mr. Vladek: Now I don’t doubt they really were. What a ... I was when I married you. Mrs. Theresa: Yes, my dear. I was so in love with you that failed to notice it at once. Now full stop! Mr. Vladek: Agree! Period! Enough! Mrs. Theresa: Divorce! Mr. Vladek: Divorce! Mrs. Theresa: Right now! This instant! Presenter: Even after finding herself in a short story `Divorce` by Felix Derecki after a short story `A family couple and highway` by Stefania Grodzieńska8 Mrs. Theresa contrived to remain a very practical lady. She took the initiative in her family in her own hands and held it so tightly that almost strangled it. Mr. Vladek (on second thoughts): But whence it turns so, that divorce? We can’t afford of it. What about our car? Our new furniture we’d bought the day before yesterday? Mrs. Theresa: The car has been smashed. Mr. Vladek: I’d hardly wrecked her if ... Mrs. Theresa: But you’ve smashed, smashed her! Furniture? No problem. Just look. Here’s our ottoman, sideboard, bookcase with a built-in bar, table and chairs. Mr. Vladek: Where’s the portrait of a 9 grandfather? Mrs. Theresa: Here you are! Have your portrait of a grandfather. Mr. Vladek: With the Russian wolfhounds 10 at his feet! Mrs. Theresa: With the Russian wolfhounds at his feet! As I was saying, ottoman is going to be mine!
Mr. Vladek: Awesome! In exchange for it I’m going to take our table and chairs. Besides I let you have the portrait of a grandfather with the Russian wolfhounds at his feet! Mrs. Theresa: Ha-ha! Your portrait of a grandfather is the last thing that I need. Especially as because he hadn’t been a hunter according the latest news! Mr. Vladek: He hadn’t been, had he? A grandfather? Mrs. Theresa: A grandfather! Mr. Vladek: I recall distinctly how he fired a gu .... Mrs. Theresa: Here you are. Keep a grandfather, I`ll take table and chairs in exchange of his portrait. Mr. Vladek: Oh my! You are going to get the excellent oak chairs in exchange for a grandfather, even though he only pretended to be a hunter? Mrs. Theresa: All right! To avoid unnecessary negotiations I offer to come to an amicable agreement. Ottoman, sideboard, bookcase with a built-in bar are going to be mine, a grandfather is going to remain yours, I`m going to have a mini system in return for his portrait as well as our table and chairs. Mr. Vladek: For goodness` sake, I want to live too. Mrs. Theresa: Live. Mr. Vladek: Theresa, as a matter of fact, what is that very divorce? Just a mere formality! What if to try back from a fresh start? Mrs. Theresa: The fresh start from a grandfather as a starting point, the one who, by the way, even wasn’t a hunter, is only appropriate for folks of twenty, my dear. As to you, you are a have not. Mr. Vladek: Lemme .. Mrs. Theresa: A have not! Mr. Vladek: A have not! Mrs. Theresa: You don’t even have furniture. ... By the way, Vladek! It concerns our furniture ... The wife of Kovalsky, our neighbour from the 10th flat, saw our furniture yesterday and greened with envy. Today she`s literally bursting with envy! Mr. Vladek: What made you think so? Mrs. Theresa: Why do you think she presented the toy kit of The Young Carpenter with our Voitek? Swish-swish-swish! Mr. Vladek: Swish-swish-swish! A-ha! I’ve guessed! Mrs. Theresa: Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes! Mr. Vladek: To saw up our new furniture! Mrs. Theresa: Keep your eyes glued on Voitek. Mr. Vladek: Theresa, aren`t we going to divorce any more? Mrs. Theresa: My dear, at least until you have our car repaired keep your mind off any divorce ... whatever much you might wish it.
Presenter: This ditty is an evergreen oldie, it’s well-known throughout the world, you may also sing it along with us, it’s being performed in here by Danuta Rinn & Bogdan Czyżewski 11 as well as by Theresa and Vladek.
IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE
Presenter - Mikhail Derzhavin Mr. Józef, Bartender – Evgeniy Kuznetsov Director - Spartak Mishulin
(see A BURGLAR`S SONG in his performance: http://www.liveinternet.ru/users/andrew_alexandre_owie/post287122397/ Mr. Paunchik - Oleg Solus Zosia, Waitress - Valentina Sharykina Mr. Wotruba - Viktor Baykov Katharina - Natalie Seleznyova
This actress was made known after she`d played an iconic part of a Moscow girl student Lida in the iconic comedy of 1965, `Operation `Y` and other adventures of Shurik` (Episode 2 `Delusion`) http://www.liveinternet.ru/users/andrew_alexandre_owie/post364391311 Mrs. Theresa - Zoya Zelinskaya (a proros, my favourite Russian actress, maybe, I seem to be that very Mr. Vladek by my temper. Though Zoya Zelinskaya was the wife of the director of the show, Georgy Zelinsky, her partner (actor Roman Tkachuk) used to make her to literally stick to the script and never permitted to relax as he always set himself and his partners high standards of acting). Mr. Vladek - Roman Tkachuk
Commentary 1 `Shershen` (in the original Стыршел (`Styrshel`, `Hornet`)), satirical magazine (1st issue in 1946).
Bulgarian comic and satirical magazine `Styrshel`
Polish comic and satrical magazine `Szpilki` (`Studs`) (1935-1990)
East German (Berlin) comic and satrical magazine `Eulenspiegel`
Hungarian comic and satrical magazine `Ludas Matyi`
2 Paunchik (in the original `Puzik` from `Puzo`(`paunch`, `tummy`), so called `speaking name`) 3 The Nightingale by Aleksandre Alyabyev/Flight of the Bumblebee by Nikolai Andreyevich Rimsky-Korsakov
Alexandre Alyabyev to Anton Delwig`s poem `The Nightingale`. Sung by Polish operatic singer Bogna Sokorska (Bogumiła Julia Sokorska) in the purest Russian language https://youtu.be/NUtZY0cOnaw?list=RD0GtYSdBT7jA
Anton Delwig was a poet of the Pushkin`s circle and one of his closest friends. As to Alexandre Alyabyev, he composed 200 Russian romances (love songs). Like Rimsky-Korsakov he was a retired military officer, by the way, Army colonel.
Alexandre Pushkin`s contemporaries Alexandre Alyabyev (right) and Anton Delwig (left)
The Nightingale is a rather sophisticated coloratura for women singers and is only sung by the vocal virtuosos. As to the Flight of the Bumblebee (or, maybe, Mumblebee as it mumbles too?) everyone must have heard it. See also alotta (a whole bee-hive) of bumble-mumblebeez-z-z-z: http://www.liveinternet.ru/users/andrew_alexandre_owie/post283192030/
Flight of the bumblebee played by Sophia Tyurina, then 8 years old (record of 2016) https://youtu.be/4FCYrdUWLFo
3 Dance of the Little Swans is also world-known, it`s from Peter Tchaikovsky`s ballet `The Swan Lakes`:
Sabre Dance by Aram Ilyich Khachaturian is from the ballet as well (`Gayane`). One of the best interpretations, IMHO:
Aram Khachaturian: Sabre Dance from the Gayane Suite No. 3 / Sir Simon Rattle, conductor · Berliner Philharmoniker / Recorded at the Berlin Philharmonie, 31 December 2013. https://youtu.be/mUQHGpxrz-8
5 Song A my się całujemy (We`re kissing) sung by Halina Kunicka, extremely popular Polish singer of the late 20th c.
The song was also sung by other Polish female pop singers:
6 Shakespeare, Othello, Act I, Scene 3 7 Law of unity and struggle of opposites is one of the three main laws of dialectics according to Hegel (the first universal law of the Universe);`What is reasonable is real; that which is real is reasonable` (`Was vernünftig ist, das ist Wirklich; und was wirklich ist, das ist vernünftig`) is a quotation from the Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel`s Elements of the Philosophy of Right (Grundlinien der Philosophie des Rechts) (1820/1821).
The main works by Georg Hegel as a predecessor of Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels were being taught in the Soviet high schools, and Presenter quotes what every educated person in the USSR have known since the schooldays though he quotes this in a pure comic, humorous vein. 8 Stefania Grodzieńska was a matriarch of the Polish satire and humour. She was a real polymath, the Renaissance figure, she sang, danced, played as an actress, what not. Yet, first of all, she was an outstanding writer. She was born in Kingdom of Poland of the Russian Empire and spent her young years in Moscow and Berlin.
9 a grandfather = an indefinite article as none knows whose grandfather that grandfather was and he seems to be held not in great respect by all the negotiating parties. If I`m wrong and all English grammar is against me (ME vs. English Grammar), then be free to treat me like the translator from the previous post who rhymed `devices`and `kingsizes`. 10 Russian wolfhounds, or borzois (i.e., Russian fleet-footed dogs). 11 Photo of Danuta Rinn & Bogdan Czyżewski:
Italians try to read the title of `YERALASH` but in vain! Then they recognize the familiar tune of Celentano, it’s like a firm ground for them.
Guys (about Khazanov (New Teacher): Look, he’s a replica of Giorge Gaber.
Pair #1 (about the video): It’s in the Italian language! Guys: Is it Russian Fantozzi? Pair #1: Malato? Crazy? Pair #2: Does it seem to be a school?! Guys (about actor Morgunov (Head-master): It’s Lino Banfi!
Pair #1: Girl: They speak Italian indeed! Guy: They’re splendid! Guys: Is it the way they think we are? If so, I feel hurt. Pair #2: That very usual `Mamma mia! It is quite impossible without it! Pair #1 (about Morgunov): He speaks excellent Italian! (Il parla benissimo Italiano!) Pair #2. Girl: We really gesticulate, that’s true. When was this film shot? Guy: I think in the 80s. Guys: DIRETTORE? So they are Italians?! I got it just now! Pair #1: Look, it’s the magazine `Gente` (People)! Pair #2: Gun! Ha-ha-ha! That's really a little bit too much! Guys: Thus, they play Italians, softly laughing on us?! I think so! Yes! Pair #1: As to that girl, she keeps gesticulating!
Guys: They all keep exclaiming, `Mamma mia!` As well as actors do in the Super Mario and in the Griffins (characters of the US animation series `Family Guy`)!
Pair #1: My school looked like this one! No difference on looks! Pair #2: He says, `Come here!`, I say, Guys, are they really Russian? Guys: They look like Italians very much! Yes, yes, yes! He’s got even the same nose! Pair #1: The film must have been shot in Italy! Very much so! Guys: We understand them, only sometimes their pronunciation is not up to standard! … Why to do it? (about crossing the chest) Ah, it means: `Protect us, O Lord!` Ha-ha-ha! But we, Italians, are not like that, truly! Pair #1: It’s rather an exaggerated stereotype! Pair #2. Girl: Celentano`s heard in the background! Guy: Of course, no school can do without him! Pair #1. Guy: But Italian children aren’t that naughty! Girl: They are much tougher! Guys: What are these? Grenades? Look, what the heck is he doing? Pair #2: They are in Sicily, no doubt! Or else they would have hardly thrown oranges at him! Pair #1: It’s so funny to hear them! Those children, how do they speak Italian? Guys: The new teacher! It’s something! Pair #2: Have you read what is on the blackboard? Inter-Milan! It drives me crazy! The Inter and the Milan! Pair #1. Girl: There are no such big flies in Italy! Guy:: Agree! Pair #2. Girl: This is quite a real situation! Pair #1: What terrible mess are they doing? Guys: It’s sooner a quadcopter drone rather than a fly! A horned beetle! Pair #1: La frombola! He’s said it in a dialect! Guys: They seem the Italian children gesticulate like this! Like mobsters! Pair #1: He’s going to prove himself! Guys: That one is eating newspaper! Well, why not, we feed on culture! Pair #1: Guys! It`s a masterpiece! Pair #2: What a charming nonsense! Guys: The boy looks like Sean Penn in his young years!
Pair #1: It’s improbable! Absolutely! Pair #2: Nevertheless, he’s shot it down! Pair #1: This fly, it’s just enormous! Guys: Just notice, La frombola! Pair #1: Never known that word before: `La frombola!. Guys: Look! He’s so satisfied! Pair #1: He’s proved that he is a tough teacher! Guys: Those actors? Are they celebrities? Pair #2: His family name sounds almost like that of mine: Moreschi! Pair #1: Now a Russian boy is going to conjugate the Italian verb `sparare`! Perhaps, he may do it better than me! Guys: Folks, do you always watch movies with over-voices? No kidding? Pair #1: Soccer club `Milan`! Guy: This is my team! Girl: So you’re their fan? Guy: Yes, but not to the greater extent than my mother is! She’s 72 years old. Pair #2: That one underwent an ordeal! Pair #1 ((after hearing the final `Per-o-o-ò!`)) Super! Bravo! Girl: They are so charming, so good! Guys: They’ve made fun of us! I`ve appreciated that actors and even children spoke the Italian language. Pair #2. Girl: This film corresponds to our life. Pair #1: It's enough to drive you crazy! Girl: I’ve learned a new Italian word! Guy: Yes! Girl: And where have I heard it? In a Russian film. Just fancy! Guys: But gesticulation was poor! Italians gesticulate much more! The 2nd Guy: If to judge by you, then yes! As to me I’m cool as Putin. Well, finish!
Old Russian March `TRIUMPH OF VICTORS` (Russischer Marsch `SIEGER-TRIUMPH`) (Anonymus/Arr. by Oskar Bihler). Brass Band `AcademBrass` (Artistic Leader and Conductor Dmitri Pavlovich Slatvinsky), Music School, Novosibirsk, Siberia. November, 2016 https://youtu.be/RGs4BHtYeFs
DARLING OF FORTUNE. C`EST TU, CHER MICHEL
10 January, 2017 - Mother Russia was shocked. A prominent national comedian of theatre, cinema and TV Mikhail Derzhavin passed away due to the heart attack that attacked him at 81.
When the sea is rough as never,
When there rages a hurricane,
Come to me, my lady sailor,
I will share with you my love.
I will share, I will share,
I will share with you my love!
I adore your lips, my dear,
I adore your shining eyes,
I will not forget them, dear,
I can swear by my life!
I will not, I will not,
I can swear by my life!
Mikhail Derzhavin was very charming, easy-going and sweet person. And very handsome. He would say he envy ... himself, thus much he was lucky all his life.
More than 40 years of his artistic career was dedicated to the Moscow Satire Theatre.
In the 60-70s he played a part of an elegant host of the superpopular Russian TV series of humorous miniatures `The 13 Chairs Pub` based on the Polish humorous sketches. No wonder Breznev himself also loved this program, enjoyed it like a child and never missed it. (Leonid Ilyich was Polish by his nationality and native language).
`Pan` Mikhail Derzhavin and all immortal stars of `The 13 Chairs Pub`
Derzhavin also played in the Russian TV adaptation of `Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog)` by Jerome K. Jerome together with his lifelong friend Alexandre Schirwindt (they were even born in the same maternity hospital).
Both outstanding actors were the popular stand-up comics in the 80s.
Of course, Mikhail Mikhailovich Derzhavin will only be remembered young and handsome. His appearance, his acting will remain a real recreation. Happiness was his element.
An improvised parody of the Russian TV program THE CINERAMA`s interviews at a Russian film stars` party (kinda `terrarium of close friends and creative colleagues`) AN UNKNOWN ACTOR, OR MR. OFFSCREEN OFFCAMEROVICH FILMNOTSKY Schirwindt: Let me represent you an absolutely well-unknown for all of us film actor Offscreen Offcamerovich Filmnotsky. What would I like to ask Mr. Offscreen Offcamerovich, firstly ... an idea has just struck me ... (looking though the prepared notes) by the way, what idea, where had I put it down? Ah! What`s interesting, he is widely unknown by not acting in many movies. Offscreen Offcamerovich was not acting in films of all film studios of our country. Derzhavin: `Mosfilm`, `Lenfilm` and `Gorky Studio`, they all refused to shoot me in their productions. Schirwindt: Last year you weren`t shot .... Derzhavin: ... in eight feature films. Schirwindt: This year ... Derzhavin:... in sixteen films. Schirwindt: Some progress is obvious. Derzhavin: I can`t but agree. Schirwindt: You see, our TV program receives many letters, yet not a single one shows interest in your creative bio. I think, it would be appropriate to thank our viewers for ... Derzhavin: No objections!
Schirwindt:... the absolute lack of interest in your absent activities. Tell me where you don`t participate at present time. Derzhavin: At once in several films of several famous fim directors. I have an advantage over my colleagues, the other actors ... I have not film tests before being not invited to play no parts. Schirwindt: So they don`t try you out to never shoot. That`s interesting! Nice idea! What studio is the nearest for you? Derzhavin: `Mosfilm`, cuz I live in Arbat, so to say, en-route ... Schirwindt: So `Mosfilm` is the nearest ... What film director did you meet this year? Derzhavin: Eldar Ryazanov. I met him at the confectioner's in the baker`s round the corner. Schirwindt: T`was a big luck, wasn`t it?
Derzhavin: Yes, it really was! Schirwindt: A new idea has just struck me ... I wonder if it was you whom they filmed in ... Derzhavin: No, not me. Schirwindt: What about that very excellent scene ... Derzhavin: They went without me! Schirwindt: That scandal ... Derzhavin: It was me.
Schirwindt hugging Derzhavin
Schirwindt: Thank you for being that interesting. May I ask you, this time not as an actor but as a viewer of the programs dedicated to showbiz. What is easier? To interview or to be interviewed? Derzhavin: No idea, it`s a question for you, the more so because you put questions and answer them himself. Schirwindt: Never thought about it! It`s a fresh observation! Derzhavin: I can`t but agree. Again. Schirwindt: Your colleagues ... Derzhavin: It`s easier to discuss them, their frequent apperance in various and numerous films ... For instance, Armen ... Schirwindt: Don`t take this name in vain. Derzhavin: Then, let`s take Jean-Paul ... I mean Belmondo. Schirwindt: That one can be taken, proceed!
Derzhavin: He was shot in 186 films, but none ever reproached him for coming into our view too often. Schirwindt: No, none. Derzhavin: I wasn`t shot more than in 186 movies. And I am being said they`re sick and tired of me. Schirwindt: Have you got any hobby? Excuse me for this hackneyed question. Derzhavin: No time for hobby due to my overwork. So I have no hobby! Schirwindt: Do you sing at the least. Derzhavin (singing an old Russian traditional song `There fly ducks`): `There fly du-u-u-cks! Schirwindt (joining in the song): This song is anything new! Derzhavin: ... and two geese`n`swans!` I love animals, and I`m an admirer of the documentary films which I have nothing to do with either.
Schirwindt (joining in the song): I can understand it. Derzhavin: Wolves! No matter how sleazy a cinematographic wolf could be it`s filmed all right! They take it right from its dirty open-air cage. As to me I`m turned down! Or a little squirell! Schirwindt: Squirrel. Lil! I agree. Derzhavin: Yet she is novelty! Schirwindt: Yeah! Squirrels are novelties! Let`s talk now about soundtracks. Music in cinema! Derzhavin: Music? I think that keeeping actors`s bodies in shape ... Schirwindt: Sometimes films are forgotten forever... Derzhavin (counterpointing): .. is more important for all feature films. Schirwindt: ... but their soundtracks are alive and kicking.
Derzhavin: Just fancy. Actor is a fatso! But somehow, but how indeed?, he turns out to be a puny little thing for a film! Schirwindt (sticking to his topic): Where are those films? Yet the sound of music is evergreen! Derzhavin`s speech is being turned out to become more and more unintelligible and body language. Schirwindt (raising his voice): And viewers know that a new song is to be sung in the end of the film! (calming down and skipping) What are the principle principles of your existence as an actor and personality? Derzhavin: You see, my motto is `Be true to yourself!` So I haven`t been filmed for a pair of decades. Quite deliberately! The result is obvious! Aren`t I a guest of the jubilee release of the `CINERAMA`now? It`s a fact! Schirwindt: Curioser and curioser! Well! I must take an opportunity and tell you all on the whole and dear Offscreen Offcamerovich in particular that he has quite recently received a special award at the trend-setting film festival in Atlantis ...
Mikh-Mikh with a fragile award in his hand and his spouse, pop singer Roksana Babayan
Derzhavin: Really? Very pleased to hear it! Schirwindt: Let me hand this little award to you, Sir! Derzhavin: What a sublime trophy! Schirwindt: I hope this won`t be the last one in your career. Caution! Don`t turn it over! Lift it slowly! You are always welcome to partake our program!
Final drink before departure! À votre santé, mes amis! C`est tous!
Plaudite, cives, plaudite, amici, finita est comoedia!
MERRY QUADRILLE (by Viktor Temnov). Brass Band `AcademBrass` (Artistic Leader and Conductor Dmitri Pavlovich Slatvinsky), Music School, Novosibirsk, Siberia. November, 2016 https://youtu.be/3kHeGz_VZc0
WAS SHAKESPEAR A LITERARY TROLL?
I suspected William Shakespeare at hidden mocking, bulling and trolling Francesco Petrarca! Why not? Just read his Sonnet 130!
Doesn`t his author mock Petrarchan metaphors in his poem? I`m afraid he does being in cahoots with his epoch. His Sonnet`s like a sensual rose, an elevated metaphor of something brought down to earth, near the knuckle.
SONNET 130 My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
IMHO, the best, superb and most lovely interpretation of the Sonnet 130 to date belongs to Stephen Fry, yet while reciting it this worthy artiste misses this very point, a flavour of trolling. Though, it doesn`t spoil the sonnet. Simply almost every comedian and satirist, sooner or later, attempts to join the camp of the pure lyrists. Sometimes they even win as the visting stars, guest stars. Just a few of comedians remain faithful to comedy all the way. Some even after their premature deaths. Cartoons become their best epitaphs.
FATHER GOD(Reading `Charlie Hebdo`): `IS IT YOU, CABU? FOR THE FIRST TIME YOU ARE NOT LATE!`
The Charlie Hebdo`s satirists, those grandgrandchildren of Rabelais, uncle Maris (Bernard Maris), George Wolinski, Cabu (Jean Cabut), Charb (Stéfane Charbonnier), Bernard Verlhac (Tignous), died as in the Three Days of the Condor , the US motion picture, the 70s of the 20 c.
A propos, I know only three great figures of the world literature who successfully combined humour, satire and lyricism in their creative works, sometimes within a single sentence, so to say, organically, owing to the very nature of their gift. Charles Dickens, Heinrich Mann and Vladimir Vysotsky. It`s the rarest artistic gift, after all. Of the three only Dickens avoided of being treated like less serious figure, Heinrich lives in the shadow of his brother Thomas while Vladimir is in the shadow of the `serious`, `pure` poets Yevtushenko and Voznesensky. As to Shakespeare he didn`t even know he had been a great playwright and poet. He was `a working horse` with a huge thesaurus. A working T-Rex of the world`s literature.
Waltz THE MANCHURIAN HILLS (by Ilya Shatrov). Brass Band `AcademBrass` (Artistic Leader and Conductor Dmitri Pavlovich Slatvinsky), Music School, Novosibirsk, Siberia. November, 2016 https://youtu.be/0qPA4-socoE
TRANSLATOR OF PUSHKIN Anton Lyrnik (Publisher): Translator of Pushkin. To the applause of yours! Andrei Molochny (Translator): Good afternoon! Publisher: Good afternoon! You`re Molochny, aren’t you? Very glad you’ve come. I thought you wouldn’t have courage to come. Translator: But why? Publisher: I thought you’d stay at home after you’d done for our publishing house. Translator: What wrong did I do for your publishing house? It was you who turned to me for that professional translation. Publisher: We considered you a translator ... Translator: I’m the best translator from Russian into English ... Publisher: That’s bullshit! You’d been given a simple task to translate The Tale of Tsar Saltan (The Tale of Tsar Saltan, of his son, the glorious and mighty knight prince Gvidon Saltanovich, and of the fair Swan-princess). What could be simpler! And you, what did you do? Translator: Firstly, let’s file not these claims ... Facts are what I need! Publisher: Facts? You’re welcome! Let’s go over the text! Translator: Let’s go over it! Publisher: Three fair maidens, late one night... (Tri devitsi pad aknom ...) What was your translation? Translator: Three devices under window ... Publisher: What word did you use? Translator: Three devices ... Publisher: A-ha! De-vices! So you translated `three maidens` (devitsis) as `devices`. Translator: I swear I did! Publisher: Are maidens` (devitsis) `devices?` Are you kidding? Translator: You shoulda known Pushkin! A rake, duellist and womanizer! The word of `devitsis` in the original sounds as a replica of `devices` in English. (Addressing the audience) De-vi-ces! Publisher: You’re talking nonsense! I say, Molochny! Is it sane to say in English : `Three devices under window` ? Translator: Absolutely! Publisher: Too bad! Translator: Is it all? No more claims? Publisher: Just wait! We`re just in the very beginning! The second line: `Sat and spun by candlelight (Priali poz(d)no vetcherkom)`. How did you translate `spun` (priali)? Translator: You see there’s no word for `spun` (priali) in English! Publisher: Go on with you! Translator: It’s an indigenous Russian word! Publisher: Go on! Translator: This word was invented by Pushkin! Publisher: Unbelievable! Translator: That’s why I put it down in English as `weave king drinking!` Publisher: There are no such words in the original! Translator: Of course, it’s me who invented `em! Publisher: And were the phrases like `late one night` (`poz(d)no vetcherkom`) also invented by you?! What is English for the Russian word `vecher`? Translator: Evening! Night! Publisher: Why did you write `evening doe`? Translator: Because it’s a poem: `under a window` - `evening doe`. This is a rhyme! I was stretching, adjusting the rhyme to the line quite deliberately! Publisher: But your high-strung rhyme broke off! Well, next line! How did you translate: `Were our tsar to marry me` (`kabi ya bila tsaritsa`)? Translator: I’m going to tell you one more time that English is a very limited language! Publisher: Upon my soul! Translator: It hasn’t got the word `were` (kabi). Have you ever heard Obama saying: `Were our showdown with Cuba, we’d .. .` Did you hear these `were` and `Cuba`, `were` and `Cuba`? Publisher: Never ever! Translator: Bingo! That’s because they haven`t got the word of `were`. If there had been such a word he would have said `were` and `Cuba`. Publisher: So instead of translating the Russian word of `kabi` you just inserted two occasional English consonant letters `K` and `B`. Translator: They read as follows `kay bee` in accordance with the English phonetics. So I obtained the word that sounds almost identical to the Russian word `kabi`! Publisher: Uhu! K.B.! Translator: K.B. - `kabi`! Publisher: `K.B. I was wife kingsizes!` Right? Translator: Exactly! Publisher: What fucking terrible ravings! Who is that `kingsize wife`? You must be meaning `a big woman`? `Kingsizes`? What’s this?! Translator: It’s a rhymed pair: `devices` - `kingsizes`. Should I explain to you every single rhyme? Publisher: Well! Go on! This time it`s not a rhyme, but an initial line! `I’m a prostitute!` What phrase of the Pushkin`s long poem could be translated like this: `I’m a prostitute!` Translator: I wonder if you ever read Pushkin? Publisher: I did! Translator: We read in the Pushkin`s poem: `ya, blya, batyushki tsarya` (I, whore, give our tsar ...`). Publisher: What’s `blya`* (whore)? Translator: Are you acquainted with the history of Old Russia and Church Slavonic language? Publisher: Perhaps, not as good as you are, Sir! `Ya b Dlya!` (I would give our tsar ... `). There is `I WOULD GIVE` in the line rather than `I, WHORE, GIVE our tsar`. Translator: In my book there was `I, WHORE, GIVE`. Publisher: Where? In the book of your problem childhood? Or elsewhere? Well, proceed further! That very phrase: `I would give our tsar an heir` (`Ya b dlya batyushki tsarya rodila`, etc.)? What is English for `rodit` (give birth)`? Translator: BORN! Publisher: Let it be! And in the subjunctive mood? Translator: I born b! Publisher: Born b? Translator: Born b! The word expression `Ya blya` (`I, whore, give ...`) implies `BORN B as its direct consequence`! Publisher: Then whom would she BORN B? Translator: I miss what you’re meaning! Publisher: Whom would she give birth to? Translator: There we go again! An heir, of course. Take a volume by Pushkin and read it once! Publisher: I do not see any `heir` in your translation. I only see `Super Hulk`. Translator: How would I explain to the foreign readers that that heir is a strong man? They haven’t got the strong men, they have got only big green Hulk. Everyone knows who this hero is. Publisher: I have had enough! Thanks. Translator: Wait a minute! Just recite my translation, listen to its music! My music! Just feel this work of art! Do it now! Publisher: To read it in loud? Translator: Read and feel it! Publisher: Are you ready for that? Three devices under window
Weave king drinking(forgive me for saying it!) evening doe.
K.B. I was wife kingsizes,
Speaking one of this devices,
I’m a prostitute! I born b Super Hulk!
(Compare with the classical translation by Louis Zellikoff:
Three fair maidens, late one night,
Sat and spun by candlelight.
"Were our tsar to marry me,"
Said the eldest of the three,
"I would cook and I would bake -
Oh, what royal feasts I'd make."
Said the second of the three:
"Were our tsar to marry me,
I would weave a cloth of gold
Fair and wondrous to behold."
But the youngest of the three
Murmured: "If he married me -
I would give our tsar an heir
Handsome, brave, beyond compare."
Translator: This a masterpiece! Just see, everybody likes it! Publisher: Who likes it? Translator: People! Ordinary people! Publisher: Blow those poems! Why did you draw pictures in the margins? Pothooks and hangers! Translator: Are you acquainted with the creative works by the great poet? Publisher: Yes, I am ... Translator: Pushkin would draw in the margins! And I translated his pictures too! Publisher: It can’t be true! Translator: I’m a professional translator, I translate everything I see around me, it’s my mission in the Earth! Publisher: I see a picture of a ... condom! Translator: It rhymes with Prince Guidon. Publisher: What’s this? Balls? Translator: Nuts. Simply the squirrel drawn by me occurred to be a male.
There's a little squirrel dwelling
In a fir tree; all day long,
Cracking nuts, it sings a song.
Nuts–most wondrous to behold!
Every shell is solid gold;
Kernels–each an emerald pure!
That's a wonder, to be sure." (Louis Zellikoff`s translation)
Publisher: Why does an old man pray to the bidet? Translator: How dare you! What did you say? An old man pray to the bidet?! It’s `King Kaschey grows ill with gold` (Tony Kline`s translation of Pushkin`s another long poem `Ruslan and Liudmila`). Publisher: A curious illness. Translator: Why not? Some people who had the golden toilet bowls installed might grow ill.
Publisher: Whoever you might be but you’re not a translator. Translator: But I am. Publisher: Sooner you are a rogue, a street hobo. Translator: If you don’t stop abusing me I’m going to do the same in English. Publisher: Do start, Sir! Who am I? Translator: You are finishman. Publisher: Whom have you said I am? Who is it? Translator: A goner! Publisher: Be kind to return your advance. Translator: Do you know what we, translators, answer in such cases? Publisher: What? Translator: Fusk you! Fusk, my dear! Publisher: What?! I don’t understand you! THE END
THE RENDEZ-VOUS by Valery Zubkov (from soundtrack of the TV Series `The Gipsy`, 1979). Trumpet solos performed by pupils Nikolai Nechkasov and Feodor Gerasimov. Brass Band `AcademBrass` (Artistic Leader and Conductor Dmitri Pavlovich Slatvinsky), Music School, Novosibirsk, Siberia. November, 2016 https://youtu.be/VjZf78FRIyE
YERALASH? THAT`S REALLY SOMETHING!
Children`s and teenagers` TV comic and satirical series `YERALASH` #182 Cast: Pupils Vanya Roldugin, Roma Kerimov, Teacher Irina Domninskaya https://youtu.be/Nl7652nKze0
DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH? Middle School. Break. Pupils` voices.
-Did you solve the problem? One and all: Ah!, and pupils scattering in all directions
KING KONG THE LADY TEACHER PULLING THE DOOR OF THE SCHOOL`S ENGLISH ROOM Teacher: Zaikin! Do you speak English? Zaikin: Wh-a-a-at? Teacher(roaring): P-o-o-o-r! (having a look around) Belkin! Do you speak English? Belkin: Wh-a-a-at? Teacher(roaring): P-o-o-o-r! (having a look around) Vanechkin! Do you speak English? Vanechkin: Yes, I do, my dear teacher! I speak English very well! Teacher(after coming to her senses): Wh-a-a-at?
Actress Irina Domninskaya in real life. Sometimes the great artistic results are gained at the cost of heavy sacrifice!
BABY ELEPHANT WALK (by Henry Mancini) Brass Band `AcademBrass` (Artistic Leader and Conductor Dmitri Pavlovich Slatvinsky), Music School, Novosibirsk, Siberia. November, 2016. MEET A LOVELY `BABY ELEPHANT` INSIDE OF THE OCHESTRA! https://youtu.be/DECI7IRcosY
YERALASH #288 RUSSIAN LESSON - CAST: Schoolboy Klyukvin: Dima Kadushkin, Teacher of Russian: Yana Poplavskaya
Yana Poplavskaya: it fell to her lot to be in the films, an actress fom the cradle!
TO STAND! TO SIT! TO LIE! TO RUN ! Teacher: Well, let`s consolidate we had learned the lesson before. Let`s consolidate what we had known about the parts of speech. What do nouns designate? (to the puplil raising his hand) Come on! Pupil: A subject. Teacher: Good boy! What question do they answer? Tanyusha! (from Tanya, Tatiana) Tanya: Who. What. Teacher: Good girl! Now examples! Klyukvin: For instance, a chair. Teacher: Klyukvin, well done! What answers the questions `What? Which?` Prompter: Ad ..., ad ... , ad ...! Klyukvin: Ad ... Teacher(to a prompter with a reproach): Seryozha! (from Sergei) Klyukvin(to a prompter, rather vexed): What is `ad ...`? Teacher: Ad ... Add the rest to the answer what you have to, Klyukvin. Klyukvin: Ad ... adverb? Teacher: See! You can when you want! What do verbs designate? Klyukvin: Actions! Teacher: Well! What question do they answer? Now! Klyukvin: What to do! A voice: Exactly! Teacher: That`s good! Examples, please! For instance ... `To sit`, Klyukvin. Sit down! What other examples of verbs do you know? (break`s bell is heard) Klyukvin: For exampe, to ru-u-u-u-u-n! (Klyukvin`s running along the school fence being not aware of a pair of young mobsters standing in a fence opening in wait for the separate primary school pupils to extort their pin money) Hooligans: Here we go! ... Halt! It`s a hold-up in progress! Klyukvin: Wro-o-o-ng! It is not! Hooligans: What?! Why not? Klyukvin: `To halt` is a verb! Hooligans: A what?! Klyukvin: Ha! (proudly going between the dumbfound teenagers parting to let him pass) Grasped it?
YERALASH1 presents a filmed anecdotal evidence of the ITALIAN LESSON from Italy based on a short story `La conquista della quinta C` by an Italian humourist Giovanni Mosca2 (1908-1983) (1939) (Un episodio del 1984 della serie televisiva sovietica per bambini `Eralash` è una breve trasposizione in chiave comica di una parte di Ricordi di scuola).
Italian transcript is based on my imperfect sound reading, yet I managed to transcribe almost all!
New Teacher 3: Signorina! Miss!4(after being shoved by the entrance door swung by a pupil with all might and further unintended bowling the young lady, school’s secretary, down) Secretary5: Mamma mia! Diavolo! Se tu sei malato, l’ospedale e’ piu viccino. Holy moley! Shit! Are you crazy? If you are crazy, well, the asylum is nearby! New Teacher: Signorina, io non sono malato, sono il nuovo maestro. Miss, I’m not crazy, I’m the new teacher! DIRETTORE (HEAD-MASTER`S OFFICE)6 Head-master: Mamma mia! Che cosa pensa lavora? ... Ci mandano ... un ragazzino quando ho bisogno di un domatore. O Madonna! O Dio! Aiuta a questo poverino. Te faráno a pezzi! A-a-a-h!... Allora! Lei acciverà in terza classe a insegnare grammatica ... allora, mettersi ..... d`accordo ... , e io vado a insegnare geografia in decimo classe. … Tutto! What the hell! They’ve sent another greenhorn! But it’s an animal tamer that I need badly in here now. My God! Protect that poor one! Only bits and pieces will have remained from you! A-a-a-h! (seeing the new teacher sobbing and trying get his application back) Well, let`s get started, let it go at that, you, Sir, are going to teach grammar in the third form, and I`m going to teach geography in the tenth form ... Settled then! School’s hallways ... 7 Head-master and the new teacher are like on the front line, shots are heard behind the classrooms` doors; the new teacher like a raw private shrinks into the corners being taken out of there and encouraged to move forth by his senior comrade-in-arms. Head-master(warning while nearing the class door): Quaranta diavoli, organizzati, armati, hanno un capo, si chiama Guerreschi... Ricorde bene, Guerreschi8, di questa parte ... Fourty imps, organized, armed, having got a leader whose name is Guerreschi. Remember: Guereschi. It’s here! New Teacher: Mi sembra che costruiscano barricate. It seems to me they’re making barricades... Head-master: Coraggio, purtroppo alla finale siamo tutti mortali! Dio ti aiuti! Take courage, after all, unfortunately, we are all mortal... (pushing the teacher inside and crossing his chest) God, protect you! In class. Guerreschi attacks the new teacher bombing him with oranges but fails to hit his target right away. New teacher successfully evades almost all blows and entrenches himself under the table before the blackboard. New Teacher(out of his improvised `trench`): Buon giorno, bambini! Sono il vostro nuovo maestro! Hello, children! I’m your new teacher! All pupils level at him with their catapults (slingshots). Suddenly a big green bottle fly appears hovering in midair of the classroom New Teacher (keeping his head: Guerreschi, potresti colpire giusto questo furbacchione? Guerreschi, could you shoot this dodger down? Guerreschi: Come fare uno starnuto! Hands down!9 (yet Guerreschi fails to bring the fly down to the joy and appeasement of the young teacher) New Teacher: Guerreschi, dammi la frombola! Guerreschi, gimme your catapult (slingshot)! (the new teacher makes a little ball from the chewed newspaper to shoot from the catapult (slingshot) and kills the fly which that moment landed on the light bulb, class goes into ecstasies. Having been thrown down Guerreschi hangs his head)La frombola 10 di Guerreschi rimane a me! E ve prego tutti quanti di disarmare. I`ll keep the catapult (slingshot) of Guerreschi! And I beg y`all to hand over your arms too! (all do what has been ordered)Guerreschi a lavagna! Coniuga il verbo `sparare`. Io sparo. Tu ... Guerreschi, come up to the blackboard! Conjugate the verb `to shoot`! I shoot, you ... . A pupil: ...spariamo11 New Teacher: Egli ... Class: Spara! (There are titles of the famous Italian football teams chalked on the blackboard: `Inter`, `Milan`12, heart speared with luv arrow, and a girl`s name beside `Lucia`) Head-master(shouting behind the door): Mamma mia! Undici maladetta questa scuola! Me ne vado! Dannazione, questa scuola! Mamma mia! Curse it eleven times at once! I`m leaving! To hell with the school! È ancora vivo?! Still alive? L`IN CHORUS(from behind the door): Spari! Head-master: Per-o-o-ò! Sakes alive!
Commentary 1YERALASH (literally, muddle, mess, chaos; jumble, rather than the same name card game; word originating from the Turkic `aralash` with the same meaning) is a Soviet and Russian children’s and teenagers` humorous and satirical TV series (collections of sketches). Its issues have been released since 1974 up to now and featured mostly children as actors. Only some of them became professional actors like their adult players, very often the film stars as in the issue under consideration. According to the regular public opinion polls, this very issue is invariably voted the best ever one. On the whole, the older issues of the YERALSH are appreciated higher and more positively as being much more `artistic`.
Mr. Yeralash – Boris Grachevsky
The permanent artistic leader of the YERALASH Comedy Show http://eralash.ru/, http://eralash.ru/libraryis, its founding father is a Russian screenwriter and film director Boris Grachevsky. The YERALASH is his life work and success story. It was a very fruitful idea! Kinda `start-up` speaking in the modern language. 2Giovanni Mosca. By the irony of fate, the family name of the author translates as `A fly`.
Giovanni Mosca in compagnia dei figli Maurizio, Paolo e Antonello. Giovanni Mosca in the company of his sons Maurizio, Paolo and Antonello
The short story `La conquista della quinta C` (`The conquest of the fifth C`) was included in the short stories` collection `Ricordi di scuola` (`School memories`) (Giovanni Mosca, Ricordi di scuola, Rizzoli, 1939, p. 97).
Videorecensioni `Ricordi di scuola` di Giovanni Mosca raccontato da Marco Chiesara Video book reviews told by Marco Chiesara - Giovanni Mosca`s book `Ricordi di scuola` https://youtu.be/HXn5Mjw-FvY
The short story in the `Rovesnik` magazin, and an Italian journalist, cartoonist and humorist Giovannino Guareschi (1908-1968). Just look at his face: `Come Joseph, come Stalin, la-la-la!`(to the tune of the Come prima, come prima!)
https://denis-strebkov.livejournal.com/photo/album/452/?mode=view&id=4041&page=8 (screenshot) in translation by a Russian Slavicist Grigoriy Dunda in the comic and satirical magazine `Krokodil`(Crocodile) 1983, #27 (the translator was on the staff then), i.e. a year before the Yeralash issue of 1984. Some readers also mention they read it in the `Semya and shkola` magazin in the 80s (from 1983 to 1988). As to the very book by Giovanni Mosca it was published in Russia by the Publishing House `Kompasgid` only in 2012. 3 The part of the New Teacher was being played by the most popular Russian stand-up comedian of the 70s; a film and TV star Gennady Khazanov. He’s a celebrity for all times in Russia. That time he was a young actor, and this role contributed a great deal to his popularity. Now being popular as always he must have lost part of his income and it made him become a more or less casual critic of some other stand-up comedians, persons of the same age, allegedly earning more by pleasing `vulgar` as Latin tastes of the grassroots. It’s just an economic competition, sometimes the unfair one, using the instruments of the `moral majority`, because comedy is an industry too. Success wants to walk hand in hand with money.
Gennady Khazanov
Personally, I appreciate all kind of humour, from the `smutty` to the `clever` one, I adore both Khazanov and his `mischievous` competitors. Mr. Khazanov often places himself as a true follower of the Gogol, Chekhov (the plots of young Chekhov were often used in the YERALASH too), i.e. classical authors though as a public figure he often supported the libertarian sentiments of the most ruthless part of the bourgeoisie in modern Russia. To be short, `everything` is `in confusion` in the industry of humour in Russia as it once was in the Oblonskys' house from the novel `Anna Karenina` by Leo Tolstoy. Though, the anecdote of that kind is not only a pure Russian by its plot. As a good taste standard-bearer Khazanov deserves every respect, as a person he is also very attractive, he’s a good fellow, just remember his support of the pop star subjected to the harsh criticism at the Russian replica of the Spanish show `Tu cara me suena` (`Your Face Sounds Familiar`) (see: SEAN CANNON: MAKE LOVE LIKE WAR (A COMIC STRIP UNDER CUNTSRUCTION) https://www.liveinternet.ru/journal_editpost.php?jpostid=412844540&journalid=5200715. In any case his New Teacher in the Scuola Dante Alighieri, as that school was called in the original short story, allusively the Dante Inferno, will be loved and re-watched always as well as many other Khazanov`s masterpieces will be too, the more so because `in un paese pieno di comici, l’umorismo vero è purtroppo merce rara (in a country full of comedians, unfortunately the true humor is a rare commodity; в любой стране, где комиков пруд пруди, к сожалению, настоящий юмор - это редкий товар). Last but not least, Khazanov not only plays a new teacher in the sketch of the YERALASH, but also il nuovo insegnante, ossia Mosca the new teacher, namely Giovanni Mosca who started his career in the elementary school Dante Alighieri in Rome.
Giovanni Mosca and pupils from the class he conquered and tamed
4 It seems to me the New Teacher pronounces the first vowel of the word in a Spanish way (i.e., `segnorina`), as in `señorita`rather than as `signorina`.
5Secretary Pretty Secretary of the school with whom half of the Soviet teenagers fell in love was played by a boy, a permanent actor of the Yeralash Feodor Stukov. He’s absent in the credits.
(A schoolboy who played Guerreschi remained undisclosed either). That time red-haired teenager Feodor Stukov had a babyface and an enormous experience of acting in the movies and on TV. He was noticed by filmmakers at the age of seven for the first time. He was one of a few children who became a professional actor after playing in the Yeralash.
He graduated from the Shchukin theatre school in Moscow, played in the German theatre Wehrstadt in Hannover (Pompey in `The Tragedy of Antony and Cleopatra` by William Shakespeare), then started producing the first Russian reality shows (like the `Behind the glass`) on TV and directed the 2010 Taffy winning documentary series `The Concentration camps: A road to hell`. Later he was infatuated with the sitcoms and returned to the Yeralash as an adult film star.
Irina Feofanova
The fallen-in-love-with-his-secretary teenagers grew up, and many of them still insist on the version that the secretary was played by the actress Irina Feofanova.
Comrade Combat ( Battalion Commander): `Had been born as a maiden you woulda been nicer!` (fragment of the TV series `Beware of the `Modern`!` https://youtu.be/-oZmXCFAcbQ
It’s quite intriguingly, and makes me remember a wise and innocent Russian folkish saying: `Had been born as a maiden you (or: he) would have been nicer!` which notes regret and is used to be related to the not handsome male actors who occurred to become beauties when playing the travesty parts (especially in the children’s matinees based on the folk fairy tales).
Field-marshal Koutozoff to the decorated Russian cavalry lieutenant who confessed him that he was a girl: `You would be nicer as a girl!`(fragment of the motion picture `The Hussar Ballad` https://youtu.be/Zn2XkDJJqec
In Russian this phrase in subjunctive has got the same grammar in both cases related to the past, present and future: `A defkoi byl by krashe!`.
The fact that the pretty girl in the Russian sketch was being played by a boy has something in common with the Italian Fantozzi saga (nella saga cinematografica di Fantozzi).
The Fantozzis
Fantozzi (Paolo Villaggio)`s daughter Mariangela Fantozzi (as well as his granddaughter Ughina), the exceptionally ugly girls, were played by actor Plinio Fernando who was a boy but viewers of the Fantozzi saga were also hardly aware of this unobvious fact.
Thus, the Yeralash authors used an antonymic sight gag, they made the girl exceptionally good-looking. 6 The Head-master (il direttore della scuola) was played by a great Russian comedian Evgeniy Morgunov (1927-1999), significantly underestimated in his lifetime. Yet he remained an iconic actor. A brilliant example in that sketch too.
Viewers noticed he had crossed himself in a wrong way. Moreover, he started doing it in a Catholic but finished in an Orthodox way. It was a period of the general dedicated atheism as part of the national policy in the URS. 7 Sketch was being shot in in the premises of the N.V. Gogol middle school #59 - House 4, 20, 10 Starokonyushenny lane, Moscow (now it’s the A.S. Griboyedov classical school #1529, before 1918 it was the Medvednikovskaya classical school, i.e. it’s an old school house of the pre-Revolutionary epoch built in 1901). A viewer of the YERALASH`s sketch told that he had learned there at the time of shooting this episode and even sat beside the boy who threw oranges and played Guerreschi (he wasn’t from extras) and his name seemed to be Andrei Vasiliev). They were 11 years old then, now they are 44 year old! Every pupil of their class was paid 70 rubles (an average month pay of the then street cleaners) for their participation in the crowd scene. It was very hot on the 17th November of 1984 in the classroom; there were a lot of the bright illuminators).
The personality of the young actor who excellently created the image of Guerreschi has been undisclosed so far as well as the national curiosity has not been satisfied yet. Everyone is eager to get to learn who were the secretary and Guerreschi. This information is likely to be a top military secret! O! As the Russian would say, `To know its heroes is a must for the nation`! 8Guerreschi is a speaking name, it means `warlike`in English, `воинственный`in Russian. 9Hands down! =I can do it with my hands down! (i.e. easily). In the original Guerreschi says, `Può essere semplice come uno starnuto = Can be as simple as a sneeze.
In `La conquista della quinta C` by Giovanni Mosca, we, however, read: - Ti sentiresti capace, con un colpo di fionda, di abbattere quel moscone?
- E’ il mio mestiere», rispose Guerreschi, con un sorriso.
- Would you be able to shoot down that big green botle fly from your catapult (slingshot)?
- It's my job, said Guerreschi, with a smile.
The new teacher injured the `professional` vanity, pride of Guerreschi. He has lost on his home stand! That`s about the catapult and fly! 10`La frombola` unlike `la fionda is not a literary word, maybe, it`s a dialect, as it means not a `catapult` (`slingshot`) but a `sling`. The literary word for a `catapult` (`slingshot`) is `la fionda, this very word is used by Giovanni Mosca in his short story. La frombola è un tipo di arma da lancio molto antica: è una fionda composta da una sacca contenente il proiettile (di sasso, pietra o piombo) con due lacci, uno dei quali termina con un cappio. The frombola is a very old type of throwing weapon: it is a sling composed of a bag containing the projectile (of stone, stone or lead) with two laces, one of which ends with a noose. In Russian it’s `праща`rather than `рогатка`. The author of the Italian screenplay of the episode seems to have been from Corsica or Sardegna (Sardinia). 11 The pupil made a mistake in conjugation of the verb `to shoot`. He should have said `tu spari ` rather than `spariamo` (io sparo, tu spari, egli spara, noi spariamo, etc.). 11`Milan` in a dialect of Lombardia, in the literary language `Milano`. LAST BUT NOT LEAST
The screenwriter and director of the Fourty imps and one green bottle fly was Gennady Vasiliev (1940-1999) who shot the iconic motion pictures `Finest, the brave Falcon` in 1975 and `The new adventures of Captain Vrungel` in 1978.
He was a permanent director for the YERALASH. Over-voice by Artyom Karapetian (1926-2011).
As to the soundtrack it comprised fragments from three songs from discs by Adriano Celentano, an Italian pop and film star who has been extremely popular in Russia in all times since his first appearance on stage. In the initial part of episode there’s heard the cover version of the famous song Soli (from the same name album of 1979) till the refrain (composer was Toto Cutugno, no less popular in Russia); then, from 1:46 there goes a fragment of the song `Uh... Uh....` from the motion picture `Bingo Bongo` ((1982 год)) sung by Adriano Celentano. Then, right after the Head-master’s Però!, can be heard the final notes of the song `L`estate e gia qua` (Italian cover version of the evergreen US song Blueberry Hills) from the album `Deus` also sung by Adriano Celentano. Visit https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCslRpcoagIM6_N5VHU0wr3w to listen to the original songs.
David: I would have been much prettier if I`d been Mona Lisa! Mona Lisa: `You`d been much lighter! Can`t you see that I`m Lady Madonna, David at my breast?! I`d rather play the flute in Siberia or be a teach in the Dante Aligieri School in Rome than baby-lift you, Michelangelo Pictureschi! David: Mona, you always behave `come prima`!
PUSHKIN: `CHARLES LOUIS DIDELOT (1767-1837) NON EST DILDOE!`
А. С. Пушкин Роман в стихах "Евгений Онегин" Глава I
Строфа XXI
Все хлопает. Онегин входит,
Идет меж кресел по ногам,
Двойной лорнет скосясь наводит
На ложи незнакомых дам;
Все ярусы окинул взором,
Всё видел: лицами, убором
Ужасно недоволен он;
С мужчинами со всех сторон
Раскланялся, потом на сцену
В большом рассеянье взглянул,
Отворотился - и зевнул,
И молвил: «Всех пора на смену;
Балеты долго я терпел,
Но и Дидлё мне надоел».
A.S. Pushkin Novel in verse `Eugene Onegin` Chapter I
Stance XXI
The audience claps. Onegin enters.
He stamps the legs while forcing thru,
Askance [əs'kænts], thru opera ['ɔprə] glasses, glancing
At boxes for the belles come true;
His eyes saw every single circle.
He noticed all. The faces, clothes
Displeased him to a great extent:
He bowed to all gentlemen
On every side, then at the show
He cast a deeply absent glance,
And having turned away at once
He yawned and said: `Show must not go!
I suffered ballets quite a lot,
But even with Didelot ['dēdˌlō] I got bored`. * (Trans. by Al Byron-Omnipotentassis)
*Commentary. Pushkin depicts the exact morals and manners of his time. The democratic public claps demanding to start the show. As to gentlemen the then theatrical good tone (bon ton) required to enter the hall at the last minute. The very appearance of gentlemen required the performance of etiquette: exchange of greetings, ritual of bows and conversations.
People stood in the stalls, there were just several rows of seats for the High Society men. Ladies were only in the boxes. Onegin forced through twixt the rows which was a deliberate demonstration of the shocking negligence and impudence permitted to the young dandies and rakes.
Besides, they had to simulate myopia and use opera glasess. It was not quite appropriate for gentlemen to look at people through the lenses, to lornette them, especially to examine young ladies and it was twice as inappropriate to look at people askance. It could be a pretext for a challenge. But Onegin was a rake and dandy and behaved according to the unwritten rules. The young men of that stratum were also required to express indifference and coolness. They copycatted `byrons`, `childe harolds`. The were all Anglophiles.
However, Pushkin who was a replica of Onegin in the described time did not agree with him in his attitude towards Didelot. In his commentary to his novel in verse the author explained his hero`s behaviour like this: `A trait of a damped down temper worthy of Childe Harold. Mr. Didelot`s ballets are filled with a lively imagination and extraordinary delights. One of our romantic writers considered them to contain much more Poetry than all French literature does`.
The common mistake of all English-speaking translators of Pushkin is their intention to use an excess of the lexical wealth of the language. But Pushkin was a poet who could get the highly-artistic results with the use of very simple expressive means of language and colloquial speech of his time. He was one of the main creators of the modern Russian language. While writing his `Onegin` he was being transformed from a romanticist into a psychological realist. And `simplicity`, economy on expressive means of language when tropes and lexical abundance were not required psychologically was his deliberate choice and aesthetic principle.
Александр Пушкин ДОМИК В КОЛОМНЕ
Четырехстопный ямб мне надоел:
Им пишет всякий. Мальчикам в забаву
Пора б его оставить. Я хотел
Давным-давно приняться за октаву.
А в самом деле: я бы совладел
С тройным созвучием. Пущусь на славу!
Ведь рифмы запросто со мной живут;
Две придут сами, третью приведут.
<1830>
Alexandre Pushkin A LITTLE HOUSE IN KOLOMNA
Tetrameter? Iambic? Fie!
It`s used by anyone who will. You`d better
leave it to little boys for fun. But I
Would try the octave! Now! May I dare?
Why not? I`d get the better, I don`t lie,
Of the iambic pentameter. It`s up to me! For fair!
The rhymes get on with me like friends,
Two`ll drag themselves, the third`ll be dragged. (Trans. by Al Byron-Omnipotentassis)
<1830>
OCTAVES
By Al Byron-Omnipotentassis ENDYMIONIC INSTINCT
In winter shutters down too early,
In summer up till late at night.
And being insipid, gone to glory
Selene shines out all the time.
Yet no Moon, no further story
(It’s love affairs` true guide).
Nights when the moms as usual snore
Their daughters sleepwalk outdoors.
Improvising on the Russian net comic poetry in the same octave form:
PANDORA AND THE BOX
Pandora`s Paradise is on a platter,
It is a warm, light, pretty place,
Its people, though blueskin, catlike,
Are just like us except for tails.
They’ve got the different genetics,
They’ve got the sockets in their heads.
Pandora’s box is unobtainium,
It’s their doom, but our premium (Trans. by Al Byron-Omnipotentassis)
***
THAT VERY TANOOKA
A housemaid? A schoolgirl? Servant?
I remind of all of them at once.
I’m a doll, an artless tomboy,
Innocent and black, and sweet Ms. Vice.
I’m a dream come true, I’m real McCoy,
Men are used to think of girls like us.
On a long and gloomy night all the mischievous
Dream of us, black, glamorous Lolitas. (Trans. by Al Byron-Omnipotentassis)
Je marchais au centre-ville et tous les pietons me regardaient. Popularite? Je ne pense pas! Beaute? A peine aussi bien. Cette tronconneuse orange dans mes mains? Peut-etre! (I was walking downtown, and all the pedestrians were looking at me. Popularity? I don`t think so! Beauty? Barely as well... That orange chainsaw in my hands? Maybe!)
*** I`M NIKITA!
My fav`rite dance is cha-cha-cha!
I`m such a bitch when tipsy.
I sneeze in bed when I`m to come,
Since childhood I’ve been tricksy.
I faint when someone tells me `arse`,
And tan with pebbles on my nipples.
Although I was by Skype baptized
Thanx God, I mix not left and right. (Trans. by Al Byron-Omnipotentassis)
COMRADE PUSHKIN, ADVANCE AND BE RECOGNIZED!
The first Pushkin`s Portrait by V. Tropinin (1827)
It`s only Pushkin`s contemporaries who knew how Pushkin looked like. At present we only can guess it. His lifetime images failed to reflect his true appearance. The Russian imagine Pushkin by the marginal self-portraits made by his pen, especially by that self-portrait in profile.
Pushkin refused to be depicted by famous George Dawe. And he explained his refusal in a classical poem dedicated to the British artist.
TO DAWE, ESQr
Зачем твой дивный карандаш
Рисует мой арапский профиль?
Хоть ты векам его предашь,
Его освищет Мефистофель.
Рисуй Олениной черты.
В жару сердечных вдохновений,
Лишь юности и красоты
Поклонником быть должен гений.
Portrait of Anna Olenina, Pushkin`s ladyfriend (By Orest Kiprensky)
TO DAWE, ESQr
Why does your marvelous crayon
Draw my black sideview of a Negro ?
Though preserved for good and all
It will be hissed off by Mephisto.
Olenina`s sweet features draw!
In glowing of am`rous inspiration
Just youth and beauty, nothing more
A genius should bestow his adoration. (Trans. by Al Byron-Omnipotentassis)
He thought he`d been ugly. He might have been. Yet Pushkin`s mom was being called the Beautiful Creole in the High Society.
Pushkin`s mother Nadezhda, née Hannibal, and grandgrandfather Abraham Hannibal, Peter I`s adopted son
In any case he preferred the artists painting his ideal, embellished portraits à la Orest Kiprensky.
Portrait of Alexandre Pushkin (Orest Kiprensky, 1827)
He responded to the portrait by Kiprensky in his iconic poem^
Кипренскому
Любимец моды легкокрылой,
Хоть не британец, не француз,
Ты вновь создал, волшебник милый,
Меня, питомца чистых Муз, —
И я смеюся над могилой,
Ушед на век от смертных уз.
Себя как в зеркале я вижу,
Но это зеркало мне льстит.
Оно гласит, что не унижу
Пристрастья важных аонид.
Так Риму, Дрездену, Парижу
Известен впредь мой будет вид.
<1827>
To Kiprensky
The light-winged fashion`s fav`rite minion
Not of the British or French school
You represented me, sweet wizard,
As a true pet of the Tenth Muse*.
I joy I`ll stick in my grave’s gizzard,
For good from mortal bonds got loose.
I see myself as in a mirror.
The mirror flatters me all right.
It says that I`m without peer
And may please rig`rous Aonides.
Thus, Dresd`ners, Romans and Parisians
Will recognize me at first sight. (Trans. by Al Byron-Omnipotentassis)
*Here Muse of Pure Inspiration.
One of Pushkin`s uncles came from Moscow to see little Pushkin for the first time. The uncle was red-haired and pocky. After glancing at his nephew he couldn’t help exclaiming: `O my! He is a real little blackamore!` The five-year-old Pushkin was quick to answer: `Yeah! Not like you, you pitted ginger beanpole!`
When in Lycée teenager Pushkin described himself like this:
Ma taille à celles des plus longs
Ne peut être égalée;
J’ai le teint frais, les cheveux blonds
Et lа tête bouclée.
Well, I am anything but tall
Though I`m not on short rations.
My hair is dark blond, in curls,
I`ve got a fresh complexion.
Pushkin`s grade report was one of the worst in the Lycée. He was an imbecile at maths
Vrai démon pour l’espièglerie,
Vrai singe par sa mine,
Beaucoup et trop d'étourderie.
Ma foi, voila Pouchkine.
A holy terror, real scamp,
He’s got a simian mien, [mi:n]
Frivolity’s his element.
That’s Pushkin, none but him.
<1814> (Trans. by Al Byron-Omnipotentassis)
Still we can have an idea about Pushkin`s lifetime appearance. It’s enough to see the photos (dated back to the 2000s) of his grandgrandson, Sergei Pushkin, major of the 2-nd office of the North-West branch of the Russian criminal police in St. Petersburg.
Sergei Pushkin seems to be very much alike his great ancestor. Well, as you can see Pushkin was not ugly which was to be shown.
RUSSIAN POET FOR ALL TIMES
Adam of the modern Russian poetry Alexandre Pushkin meets every Russian toddler in every kindergarten. It`s not because he`s read by teachers, though he`s sometimes read. There`s a rich children`s and then teenager`s folklore that is passed on from one child to another, from the past to the future. Pushkin is one of the leading heroes of that oral tradition.
A four-year- old children`s funny anecdote
Однажды Пушкин, Лермонтов и китайская девочка Бу Ся играли в прятки. Пушкин и Бу Ся спрятались под столом. Лермонтов долго их искал, наконец, сдался и спросил: «Пушкин! Бу Ся! Где вы?» Тут он услышал голос Пушкина из-под стола: «Я и Буся под столом».
Once little Pushkin, Lermontov and Chinese girl Foo Tsie played hide-and-seek. Pushkin and Foo Tsie concealed themselves under the table. Lermontov looked for them long, but in vain. He surrendered and prayed: `Pushkin! Foo Tsie! Where`re you?` He heard Pushkin`s voice: `We`re playing footsie under the table!`
A teenagers` rhymed funny anecdote:
Дама, завидевшая Пушкина:
-Пушкин-Пушкин, я хочу!
-И я не прочь! Но сейчас не ночь!
И неудобно на балу
Такую даму на полу!
PUSHKIN AND IT GIRL
-Pushkin, Pushkin, I want you!
-So do I!
But honestly I would prefer the night!
`Cuz it`s not proper at the ball
To screw an it girl on the floor!`
Not rarely Pushkin is accompanied or meets the other favourite Russian classical poets in the folklore stories. Poets whose talents are comparable with his own one. That folksy `pop chart` is naively unprejudiced in its choice of fellows for Pushkin among great poets of Russia. Except for Lermontov, Pushkin is accompanied by Sergei Yesenin. What’s interesting, you never meet the Nobel Prize winners in his milieu. And Akhmatova and Mayakovsky either. They are all just excellent chamber music for scholars, aesthetes, ladies and foreigners rather than a highly-artistic symphonies addressing the masses.
Pushkin, Lermontov, Yesenin are symphonies, they’re the trend-setting poets and though being highly artistic in their works are minions of millions. The hidden core of their highly-artistic poetry is `Ah! ça ira` and `La Marseillaise`.
The same can be said about the Great Quartet of the Russian poetry of the second part of the XXth c. (Yevtushenko, Voznesensky, Akhmadullina and Vysotsky) who, IMHO, were to have been the Nobel Prize winners if the Western perception of the Russian literature, its real proportions, had been right). Yet even that quartet is not much in comparison with multi-dimensional Pushkin with the sublime biochemistry of his unique brain.
Pushkin the Coach: `Begin with short texts. Then increase your load gradually! Busy yourself with the reading!`
Another funny anecdote as an illustration:
Выходит Пушкин из кабака в обнимку с двумя барышнями, а прямо перед выходом в луже лежит вусмерть пьяный. Барышни обращаются к поэту:
-Александр Сергеевич, мы столько о вас слышали! Вы настоящий гений! Вы можете описать любую ситуацию красивыми словами. Продемонстрируйте нам свое искусство.
-Гхмм.. Лежит безжизненное тело/На нашем жизненном пути...
Пьяный поднимает голову из лужи:
-Тебе, мудак, какой дело?/Иди блядей своих еби!
-Ой, дамы, пойдемте, это Сережа Есенин.
`Once Pushkin came out of a restaurant with two damsels and saw a stinking drunk in the puddle. The girls asked him if it was anything for him as a great poet to describe any ugly scene as a poetic one. Pushkin started:
`There lies a dead drunk in the gutter
He no longer with the world has truck …
The drunk finished:
`Beat it, you curly motherfucker,
The time has come your girls to fuck … `
Pushkin: `Ladies, I’m sorry! It’s not a drunk, it’s Serge Yesenin.`
Sooner or later teenagers become young men, some become actors, and you can hear on TV the following rap related to immortal Pushkin (authors Sergei Bessmertny (lit. `Immortal`) and Ivan Blackman (he`s an Afro-Russian, really black man called Ivan Traore)):
Тысячи свечей на сцену направлены,
Широкие брюки в кроссовки заправлены,
Икру запивая студеною водкой,
Появляется Пушкин лунной походкой.
Thousand candles spotlighted later
Legs wearing slacks tucked in the trainers.
Drinking cold vodka with Russian caviar
Pushkin moonwalked from a blackout area.
Прическа афро, тату во весь бок,
I am царскосельский snoop doggy dog,
Златая цепь на шее, майкрофон в руке,
Пирсинг на великом и могучем языке.
Фонвизин с Кюхельбекером ахнули аж:
"Не мыслил в Царскосельском такой эпатаж"
He`s got Afro haircut, side tattoo and a vogue,
`I am kinda Royal Snoop Doggy Dog!`
Mike in his hand, gold chain around his neck,
Glitter of piercing on the ready tongue of the man.
Von Wisin, Kuechelbaecker* gasped with surprise:
`To use the royal splendour to shock the middle class?`
Становится героем Пушкин А.С.,
Летят на сцену трусики уездных поэтесс,
Из уст вылетают стихи, поэма, книга.
Пушкин больше чем поэт,
Пушкин real nigger.
A star is born, it`s Mr. Pushkin A.S.
The stage is full of knickers thrown by Pushkin`s ladyfans!
He is a rapper by God, he is a perfect kidder,
Pushkin is more than a poet,
He’s a real nigger!
Фристайлит он на радость богатых баронесс,
В стихи вплетая строчки и рифмы Kiss my ass,
Саша завершает свой победный спич,
Ай да Пушкин, ай да son of bitch.
He’s a freestyler, a joy of female race,
He fearlessly combines Beatrice** and `Kiss my ass!`
Sashka *** concluded his triumphant speech,
`Attaboy! Pushkin, well done, son of bitch!`****
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
Пушкин продолжает литературный сейшн,
В бейсболке Нью-Йорк, выходит на локэйшн.
Встает за вертушки, слышен скрэтч винила,
"Ловите хаус-микс на Руслан и Людмила"
Then Pushkin completed his lit`rary session,
His T-shirt had got `New York` as its caption.
He touched the turntables, vinyl scratched, and clear
There flowed the house-mix of his `Ruslan and Liudmila`*****
* Von Wisin was a Russian playwright and Kuechelbaecker was a poet and Lycée`s friend of Pushkin. ** Beatrice, allusion to Durante degli Alighieri. *** Sasha, Sashka (informal forms of his name Alexandre) ****`Attaboy! Pushkin, well done, son of bitch!` An exact citation of the Pushkin`s letter to one of his friends after completion of his play `Boris Godunov`. It was his self-assessment. ***** `Ruslan and Liudmila` is a long poem by Pushkin set to music as an opera by Mikhail Glinka.
BALLECTOMY, OR CINEPHILE WITNESSES FOR CHOREOGRAPHY
A George Jungwald-Chilkiewicz feature film `The dangerous guest performances` of 1968: Odessa in 1910, political conspirators opened a variety theatre as a screen for their headquarters. The variety went on tour to St. Petersburg.
I am indifferent for the film. I like to re-watch just one small scene of it, from 1:11:19 to 1:15:00 – a choreographic miniature `The Ulans` Exercises` created by choreographers Lev Golovanov and Valentin Manokhin. Unfortunately, the scene is partially interfered with a dialogue of characters played by now classical poet Vysotsky and peppy actress Lionella Pyriyeva. `The Ulans` Exercises` is a real masterpiece. (By the way, the lost fragment of the number is available from 1:20:00-1:22:11 https://youtu.be/JAVlqfMd4fk
Lev Golovanov (in the 2010s), choreographer of the Igor Moiseyev Ballet and his wife, ballet master of the Moscow Philarmony`s `Souvenir`Choreographic Miniatures Company whose members performed all the ballet and dancing numbers in the film.
A Vladimir Basov film `Shield&Sword` (Episode 2) of 1968. I like it. An evegreen one. One of my favourite scenes also related to choreography. FRAGMENT ONE from 1:25 to and FRAGMENT TWO from 46:37 to 47:35 (Choreographer - Valentin Manokhin).
A very true parody of Mona Lisa. The very roots of Nazism are in the Renaissance`s theomachy. Menschliches, Allzumenschliches. Not just German but universal. Since then we have been all, including Jews, transforming not only into leonardodavincis but also into hitlers, angels going on devils or evil tailless apes. Of all things the measure is really being become an inhuman being. It`s a human being who is deciding what is good and what is bad invariably being out for trouble. Congrats, inhumane humanity! Go on! You've been delivering the goods! It just has to sign properly: `Sincerely Yours, Devil`.
A Russian lady resident agent and her aid work as dancers (duet `Nicole2Nicole`) in a German cabaret in Poland in 1942. Actress Natalie Velichko (Elsa) is especially good. Charm, figure, talent! Actor Geogiy Martynyuk (Alois Hagen) is very handsome too. I adore the true-to-life, honest Russian military films. https://youtu.be/B-sM6yS9s6A
Valentin Manokhin, Choreographer&Dancer, Film Actor & Ballet Master for TV
Oh! I quite forgot to mention another choreographer, Andrei Glushchenko-Molchanov, especially his version of the Bottle Dance from the Russian TV Series of The Life and Adventures of Miky the Jap (Once upon a Time in Odessa).
IMHO, it`s been the best version of that Jewish wedding dance in films and TV Series so far. I feel pity that this dance as a part of the wedding episode was interfered with acting. This dance reveals its latent esoteric meaning in the scene. Dancers seem to be letters of the Hebrew alphabet. Dance (in general too) is a script. This very one is a crypto-script, the Holy Script (Heilige Schrift). Dancing is a language, a speech! It weaves a spell. It`s beautiful and terrible at once. Belshazzar's feast! And the choreographic Song of Songs! It`s ma-a-a-gic! Wow!
Andrei Glushchenko-Molchanov
This number is a work of the choreographic genius. I think that choreographic numbers of the films deserve to be shot in two versions, entire one and that of the film. Not only composers ought to have a privilege of being `soundtracked`!
The full scene of Misha and Tsylia`s wedding, `Bottle Dance` all the way in the end of the scene https://youtu.be/hR75RJUHcIk
The choreographer used all opportunities to express all possible meaning and allusions of the dance, from simple to more complicated, added `depth`, augmented the scene, and, thus, he occurred to be a true creative assistant of the director and actors.
Anna Bagmet & Andrei Glushchenko-Molchanov dancing in the `N.Y. streets`. Also Andrei`s choreography. Of course, a rehearsal of a woman`s dance being shown by the choreographer. See how gracefully this giant (1 metre 80 cm tall, 80 kg) with a bodybuild of a three-chamber fridge moves!) https://youtu.be/8G4kKmou_Yw
If Pushkin had been a Jew he would have been Whoopimona Lisa Goldberg. Whoppi Goldberg: `What?! It woulda be a real effing terrible wow!`
Andrei Glushchenko-Molchanov is an actor and choreographer of the Moscow Vladimir Nazarov Theatre. He was filmed in a walking part of a Miky the Jap`s crony in the above-mentioned TV series.
Actor Evgeniy Tkachuk and his character as he was in real life. Almost a replica!
Miky the Jap (Moisha Vinnitsky) was the gangsters`noble king in Russian city of Odessa in the 10-20 th of the 20 c. who hated blood and never had people killed. O! He refused to order to kill people. Never permitted to do it! T`was a historical fact, after all! His part was being played by a Russian actor Evgeniy Tkachuk in the TV series of 2011. Ideal performer of the role! Congenial!
THE BIG FINISH
The 60s, a climax of the Soviet Union, prosperity, but parasitizing elite is ready to destroy everything just to get an opportunity to get all at any expense.
Great BOB FOSSE`s choreography - `The Rich Man's Smug & Frug` from the Sweet Charity (after Federico Fellini`s The Nights of Cabiria). All the priviligioners despite `fingting` and `boxing` among themsevlves and their international composition are a single, compact group aware of their interests and social position.The Old Roman entourage is well-timed and to the point. Hail to thee, artist! https://youtu.be/mcrZIK3gqbU
They got everything in the 90s and hope to perpetuate what can`t be perpetuated in principle. Their privileges as their fundamentals are false and provisional. The creative Huns of the next generations are round the corner. It`s the news for the complacent priveligioners only.
The perpetuated order breaks into the rudiments of a Cossack Dance, into a choreography of the steppes and ... prairies too (!). Elements!
Waldemar Kazak, Russia - Right above in the poster of the supergirls and `draggin'-wagonwe we read `Let`s go!` (the Gagarin`s famous words before first ever going to the outer space).
The choreographer of the Grand Restaurant (1966) was French actress and screen-writer Colette Brosset (Brossé ) who was a classical ballerina in her young years. She composed the dance to music by Jean Marion.
But if to return to the eternal art, it is worth noting that feature films are synthesis. Therefore, artists, choreogrphers, costume designers, makeup artists, etc. all are of a great importance. But it`s only film director who is responsible for their common success. Film directors have to have got something that nears them with choreographers and composers, this is a natural sense of rhythm, inner, absolute hearing of rhythm of the film and appreciation of talents and achievements of all collaborators.
Rhythm, right proportions and balance, text and aesthetic values make films or their episodes evergreen, eternal, forever `watchable`, i.e. classical, uncorruptible pieces, patterns, and, paradoxically, a kind of standard to start with. Like that scene from `A Day at the Races`.
CHANGE YOUR PARTNER! A Day at the Races (1937) Groucho Marx Dance Scene (his blonde partner is Esther Miur, his black-haired one is Margaret Dumont) https://youtu.be/QccO0pvSqgU
The choreographer of the movie was a Hungarian-American dance director Dave Gould who opened a dancing school for the MGM players.
MGM choreographer Dave Gould gives child actress Juanita Quigley a dance lesson with his desk as the dance floor
What are my choreographic `political` views? Very traditional, I`m a monarchist, royalist. I love and feel pity of a tragic fate of the Romanovs, Habsburgs and poor Henry Pu Yi. Present-day monarchies are not an atavism for me. Tradition and innovation are the different sides of the same coin, in life, politics and the art, IMHO.
Entrance of Tsar Alexandre I and Opening of the Royal Palace Ball by the Royal Couple https://youtu.be/qjprn_6zRAM
The choreographer of this Bondarchuk`s `War and Peace` scene is Vladimir Burmeister who is defined as a Costume Designer in the IMDB http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1039557/. (However, the costume designer of the film was Mikhail Chikovany). In Russia they know about Burmeister (Bourmeister) a little bit more so I do not condemn the IMDB.
Though they issued a book on him in Russia and there was written a dissertation on his creative activities analysing his achievements and artistcic principles http://www.dissercat.com/content/vp-burmeister-sti...da-lebedinoe-ozero-snegurochka in 2006 (`V.P. Burmeister`s style and method: Ballets `Esmeralda`, `Swan Lake`, `Snegurochka`, Moscow, 2006`).
The author was Ms. Yamakawa Sihoko, a Japanese scholar who graduated from the Russian Institute of Theatre Arts in Moscow http://www.gitis.net/en/.
The Russia`s state-owned TV Channel `Culture`(`Kultura`) shot a short (about 18 minutes) documentary on that ballet master who staged The Swan Lake in the Grand Opera in Paris in 1960 and the Snowmaid (Snegurochka) with the Festival Ballet company in the UK, in London, in 1961 (the Moscow fisrt night was only in 1963).
By the way, in his lifetime he was called `Stanislavsky of ballet` in Russia. It means much about this great choreographer who created the poetic, artistic and veracious images in his ballets. He considered the art of ballet to be a synthesis of dance, drama and music enabling artistes to express the full wealth of the human mind, heart and soul. He eagerly participated as a ballet master in production of dramas and films, his ideal was a dancing actor and actress. In his young years he used to perform the Hungarian and Spanish dances as a character dancer in the dance halls being kinda `a cultural a-go-go boy`. He seduced people to take unterest in the art, especially in choreography.
Vladimir Burmeister was a grandgrandnephew of Piotr Tchaikovsky (his mother was Natalie Tchaikovsky whose father, major-general, in his turn, was a son of brother of Piotr Tchaikovsky. That very brother who insisted on Piotr`s coming back to jurisprudence and called his infatuation with music just a `whistle`).
LIFE AS A BLINK REFLEX
`There`s but a blink` (1973). Lyrics by Leonid Derbenyov. Music by Alexandre Zatsepin. Sung by a great Russian actor Oleg Dahl. https://youtu.be/tthlML5Kw68
Oleg Dahl
Леонид Дербенёв ЕСТЬ ТОЛЬКО МИГ
Призрачно всё
В этом мире бушующем,
Есть только миг,
За него и держись.
Есть только миг
Между прошлым и будущим,
Именно он называется жизнь.
By Leo Derbenyov THERE`S BUT A BLINK
All is unreal
In our furiuos entity.
There`s but a blink.
So hold on to it.
There`s but a blink
Twixt the past and eternity.
This very blink is but life`s name indeed.
Вечный покой
Сердце вряд ли обрадует,
Вечный покой
Для седых пирамид.
А для звезды,
Что сорвалась и падает,
Есть только миг,
Ослепительный миг.
Eternal peace
Would be tedious most probably.
Eternal peace
Would be fine with the Sphinx.
As to the star
Born to fall down momently
There`s but a blink.
Sparkle of light in between.
Пусть этот мир
Вдаль летит сквозь столетия,
Но не всегда
По дороге мне с ним.
Чем дорожу,
Чем рискую на свете я -
Мигом одним,
Только мигом одним.
May this best world
Spin and fly through the centuries.
I do have moments
Out of it anyway.
I run no risk
Wasting this very precious one,
My only short,
Just a wonderful blink.
Счастье дано
Повстречать иль беду ещё,
Есть только миг
За него и держись.
Есть только миг
Между прошлым и будущим,
Именно он называется жизнь.
Есть только миг
Между прошлым и будущим,
Именно он называется жизнь.
Whether I meet
Either joy or just trouble,
There`s but a blink.
So I`ll hold on to it.
There`s but a blink
Twixt the past and eternity.
This very blink is but life`s name indeed. (Trans. by Al Byron-Omnipotentassis)
`There`s but a blink` is a song from the Russian feature film `The Sannikov Land`(1973). There were two interpretations of the song, the above one, by actor Oleg Dahl, was replaced with that of Oleg Anofriev in the film`s soundtrack.
Oleg Dahl as Fool in the `King Lear`
Oleg Dahl was rejected on the score of having been tipsy during recording the song. Still this record is widely heard and loved. Dahl was a genius even when he was intoxicated and slightly mistimed.
CAPTAIN COURAGEOUS
An iconic Russian drinking song `The Brigantine` (1937) by Russian poet Pavel Kogan put to music by his friend Georgy Lepsky https://youtu.be/4Myi1o_MN3I
Павел Коган (1937) БРИГАНТИНА
Надоело говорить и спорить,
И любить усталые глаза...
В флибустьерском дальнем море
Бригантина подымает паруса...
By Pavel Kogan (1937) THE BRIGANTINE
We are sick of quarreling and talking
And of loving tired eyes at peace.
Brigantine is setting sails in ocean,
In the filibuster high blue seas.
Russian poet Pavel Kogan, forever young, killed in action in 1942
Капитан, обветренный, как скалы,
Вышел в море, не дождавшись нас...
На прощанье подымай бокалы
Золотого терпкого вина.
Captain, weather-beaten as a coast,
Took the sea, he couldn`t wait for us.
Let us finish with a doch-an-doris,
Raise full glasses of the rough`n`golden wine.
Пьем за яростных, за непохожих,
За презревших грошевой уют.
Вьется по ветру веселый Роджер,
Люди Флинта песенку поют.
Wrong! Flint was a woman!
We are drinking to the rage and fury
Of the ones who held cheap comfort cheap.
Jolly Roger is aflutter loosely,
Flint* and men are singing in the wind.
Так прощаемся мы с серебристою,
Самою заветною мечтой,
Флибустьеры и авантюристы
По крови, упругой и густой.
That is how we are being awakened
From our silvery, most cherished dream.
Filibusters, piracy partakers
By thick blood which is as tight as ships.**
И в беде, и в радости, и в горе
Только чуточку прищурь глаза.
В флибустьерском дальнем море
Бригантина подымает паруса.
Under hatches, troubled, or joyous
You just strain your eyes a little bit.
Brigantine is setting sails in ocean,
In the filibuster high blue seas.
Вьется по ветру веселый Роджер,
Люди Флинта песенку поют,
И, звеня бокалами, мы тоже
Запеваем песенку свою.
Jolly Roger is aflutter loosely,
Flint and men are singing in the wind.
Clinking with our glasses smoothly
We are going too to join them and sing.
Надоело говорить и спорить,
И любить усталые глаза...
В флибустьерском дальнем море
Бригантина подымает паруса...
We are sick of quarreling and talking
And of loving tired eyes at peace.
Brigantine is setting sails in ocean,
In the filibuster high blue seas. (Trans. by Al Byron-Omnipotentassis)
* Captain J. Flint is a fictional pirate captain created by a Scottish writer Robert Louis Stevenson in his adventure novel `Treasure Island` (1883) **Lyrics don`t for some reason include this stance of the poem.
ATLANTIS: DID THEY PASS ANYTHING? NOPE, SIR! ONLY THE DANCES!
Brigitta Nass (East Germany), Jiří Korn (Czech Republic) and Fernsehballett (TV Ballet) https://youtu.be/QBfL0m1nHYo
The Fernsehballet videos above and beneath belong to its`Ein Kessel Buntes` (`A Many-Coloured Kettle`) epoch of the 70-80s of the 20 c.
Martina and Ferenc Salmayer
That time the chief choreographers of the famous East Germany variety show ballet were Hungarian dancers and balletmasters Ferenc Istvan Salmayer, his wife Martina and Emöke Pöstenyi.
Choreographer Emöke Pöstenyi
Mr. Salmayer was an artistic leader of the ballet company. In the 90s he gave way to the next generation of the Fernsehballet soloists and choreographers like Ophelia Vilarova, André Höhl, Cristina Kochmann, Maik Damboldt, and Carsten Rietschel.
LOVE`S LIKE WAR: EASY TO START, HARD TO FINISH, IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET
https://chordify.net/chords/-shnur0k By `The Leningrad` & Yulia Kogan THE GULF OF FINLAND
The calm Gulf of Finland. We are lying on beach,
Now I am inside of you, now out of reach.
Sun and land breeze, the ring`s in your nipple,
Vanquishing anguish, my dick is sand-free.
DICK (HUI in Russian) BEACH-CHAIRED IN THE GREY SAND
Night sank on the beach. Stars and the Moon.
Bottle of wine is half empty half full.
To finish the bottle just to go for some booze?
You cannot help it, as your life seems so good! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Listen - Download
The most widemet folkish cyrillic graffito in Russia - three merry letters (H+U+I) on fences throughout the country. Dick, dick, dick!
THE MACHO OF THE RUEFUL COUNTENANCE
They are all about men and women, I mean his songs. Kai Metov whose real name is Kairat Erdenovich Metov (born in 1964 in Karaganda, Kazakhstan) was an iconic figure in Russian pop music and Russia on the whole in the 90s of the 20s. He seemed to have appeared from nowhere. But he’d graduated from the Moscow Conservatory’s Central Music School as a violinist (he has got an absolute hearing). He came; he saw and conquered, won the hearts of millions of fans. His album `Position #2` (1993) was the super hit of that dangerous and tough transitional period of Russia’s history.
On TV in 1996: `There are artists who contrive to compose only the hits, so to say, one hit urges on another one. Our today`s guest is one of such artists. Recently he has his album recorded. Almost all songs of that disc has become the hit. But the hit of his hits is still his song that is well-known as the `Position #2`. The author is Kai metov.` https://youtu.be/n-E1GVr1mRs
Music and Lyrics by Kai Metov POSITION NUMBER ONE Position number one . I’m having my own fun. Position number two. This time I want you too.
I know for sure, I know it as clear as twice:
Today is Tuesday, and you are at home at this time.
I gonna ring you up, position number two.
Refrain
I no longer can follow, can follow that path,
I’m so tired, so tired, I can’t cut a wide swath,
So I’m ringing you up, telling how long I haven’t seen you.
Just tell me where you’ve been,
Just tell me how you’ve been,
What’ve you been doing since my leave?
My beloved, where are you? My beloved where you?(twice)
Position number one. You’re saying `Not this time`. Position number two. You’re saying `Not for you.`
Yes, right you are, but remember indeed
Today is Monday, he’s none other than me:
That’s why I’m calling you. Position number two.
Refrain
I no longer can see a thick mist before my eyes
I’m so tired, so tired, everyone tells me lies,
So I’m ringing you up, telling how long I haven’t seen you.
Just tell me where you’ve been,
Just tell me how you’ve been,
What have you been doing since my leave?
My beloved, where are you? My beloved where you?(three times)
The artist hasn’t been forgotten yet, though there have been a lot of attempts to bury him, so to say, alive so far. It’s useless. He’s revisited from time to time. He`s a symbol of the 90s, and you can`t kill the symbol. His popularity is cyclical and is fed by the national periodical nostalgia! `Timesickness`! Kai Metov must have caught something essential for the general public in Russia. But what? None can explain it. Me too. Yet I gonna try now. I think the matter is he managed to express the wakening, still naïve sexuality, affectionate machismo. Was he a first post-Soviet sex idol? Perhaps, he was! Secondly. As a gifted arranger he used a new for that time mixture of the electronic pop music with heavy metal inclusions in his songs. Thirdly, the perfect health and youth of the singer made a charming impression on his audience, especially on women. It was his patented style, I mean the Western dancing rhythm, true-to-life simple lyrics, a special heartfelt sound of his slightly `vicious` voice and informal intonation. By the way he`s still able to gather the full house, he plays on tours sometimes though it`s not the main source of his income at present time.
On TV in 2009 with the Symphonic Orchestra. The Tough 90s Series. Kai Metov. Position #2. Music and Lyrics by Kai Metov. Piano also Kai Metov, the author. https://youtu.be/njkJe3qBFeE
He’s loved by his fans that are now two decades older than they were and he’s still popular as a bright personality too. Do I like him? Yep! I liked him in the past and I like his young-looking appearance and his velvet, a little bit husky voice now. If I were a woman (`I am a boy!` - AAO) I would say `his sexual voice`. I think he’s sexy and Dr. Fun, a character of my present net novel, would agree with me and say that that very vague but present sexuality, sincere, civil and virginal one, was an essential condition of his success. His hero Kai Metov unlike the very performer, Mr. Kaimetov was a true but not self-confident macho. Maybe like me or you. So my most favourite song by him is `I do not believe you`.
Music and Lyrics by Kai Metov I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU
You made a dive in an ocean of friends,
A female friend’s but far from being a man.
You say today you are forbidden, `Be kind!`,
But you are telling lies.
Call a good friend of yours; I’ve got a friend,
We’ll throw a party; it’s a piece of cake.
But you are telling she is out for that,
Besides she is engaged.
Refrain
Your female friend, well, she can trust you, okay!
But how can I accept the lie that you tell?
I do not believe you! (three times)
You seem to go for a walk! Moonlit night!
I wonder when then we are back tonight.
But you are telling me, `Beware of my mom!`
- You don’t pile it on! (Animation cartoon`s Voice: Don't let's make a thing of it! Don`t let`s? ) (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Enviably for many former and contemporary Russian pop idols Kai Metov refused to remain only a part of the past, he still exists and acts as a succesful businessman who owns his own night club, built his own mansion in countryside, who graduated from the Law and Drama Schools. His success is an unforgivable sin, the true reason of his being disliked by some `great` artists. Even now that he is no more singer but mostly an easily recognizable celebrity and businessman involved in biotechnology and beauty treatment as an influential member of the Board of Directors of the big company. He was always smart and timely guessed to invest money he`d earned when he was a pop idol into the prospective business projects.
Being awarded by the Culture Minister in the Kremlin Palace
His artistic career was interrupted with a crisis of 1998. I mean his performing in public as he bought his own night club where he sang from time to time. He never forgot to remember himself on TV. But it’s business that he makes that makes him confident and rich, being independent from the singing fraternity and even sisterhood who cannot forgive him his respectable position, freedom and conditioning. He is always not like all in that respect, not an abortion splashing in the gutter. Vice versa, people on the whole love him for his being like all, democratic though remaining a living piece of their common history.
Kai Metov playing the iconic song by Matusovsky-Basner `What made you feel love of your motherland?` His Voice: ` What makes me feel love of my motherland? Of course, my parents, the school I went though, textbooks, teachers, learning music, the initial understanding of what is good and what is bad. My motherland will always be the prominent part of my heart which beats in unison with me and will never allow to break the mighty links that connect us. https://youtu.be/b2CPtrezvu0
VILAINES FILLES ET MAUVAIS GARçONS (VILLAIN GIRLS&BAD BOYS)
He: You no longer ring me up? Did you fall out of love? She: Nope. I simply gave up drinking.
-As gentleman to gentleman, which do you love best, wine or women?
-It depends on their year!
Music and Lyrics by Kai Metov The Health Department of the Russian Federation warns that suffering from a stress negatively affects your nervous system and reduces the adaptation of your organisms, causes many chronic diseases. Russian nationals! More frequently carry out the educational attempts and explanatory work! EDUCATIONAL ATTEMPTS
If you’ve got a lot of problems, you are not on friendly terms Ah, my dear, my sweetheart
You can fix all with the help of educational attempts. Ah, my dear, my sweetheart
I know …
So that all was in order, so that you wouldn’t be stressed, Ah, my dear, my sweetheart
Don’t forget to make an effort and continue your attempts. Ah, my dear, my sweetheart
Educational attempts, miracle, no less, universal aids.
Sent to us from heavens, problem-solving stance, universal aids.
Refrain
I gonna teach you to fly `bout from sitting room to bedroom’s wardrobe,
After you reach it you will get there is a man you love at home.
I’ll bring the flowers for you; you’ll snuggle up into my shoulder.
I want so much you to feel too what tenderness joins us from now on.
Let’s go on with our topic, it is now underway Ah, my dear, my sweetheart
To achieve you want, my dear, you must fight up all the way. Ah, my dear, my sweetheart
I know …
It’s a powerful weapon, understanding and good works, Ah, my dear, my sweetheart
They are often very helpful, but not always, not for all. Ah, my dear, my sweetheart
Educational attempts, miracle, no less, universal aids.
Sent to us from heavens, problem-solving stance, universal aids.
Refrain (3 times) THE END
(Additional stanzas:
What would you have done, my sweetheart, if I hadn’t been beside,
You’d have been all time in tears, you’d have mourned for me all night.
You’d have never gone to market, you’d have waited by the glass,
You’d have sought for me, my dear; you’d have found me at last.
I must say in broad daylight that you are the problem child,
Either thirst for big adventure or you must be out to lunch.
It just can’t be helped, it’s clear; it’s a good thing not all time.
What would you have done, my sweetheart, if I hadn’t been beside. ) (Andrew Alexandre Owie)
MOTHER AND THE NAKED
WHEN BUSINESS IS PLEASUREI went to buy the long striped vest to work but also bought a striped top to hot it up!
My dear, though your string pants made a splash on the beach their strings shoulda been behind. Know it next time, O.K.?
Whenever you go to a bar to just drink rarther than to pick up males. Otherwise it doesn`t get to them!
Music and Lyrics by Kai Metov BECAUSE OF YOU
As late as yesterday I knew I had parted with you.
I naïvely dreamed, I believed that at last I`d been through.
How to strive against fate if you`re with me again.
Again the cigarette smoke rerfracts the light ray.
Refrain
I haven`t seen you for a long time, I would like to see you no more.
I had grasped before sun set that my life remained unsettled,
That my dream had gone to hell.
Because of you.
As late as yesterday I thought I`d forgotten your eyes.
Just fancy I ceased ringing, meeting indeed.
How to strive against fate if you`re with me again.
And these eyes from the past try to make me enticed. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
SAYING ONE CARRYING TWOWe`re only friends but he is mine!
DO YOU COMPREHEND?If you are reading this then you are screwing me!
I TAKE MY DICK THEY ARE THE MUTUAL LOOK-ALIKES
The Dick. Sung by Maxim Pokrovsky, frontman of the nOgu svelO
(lit. A Cramp in the Leg) group https://youtu.be/-Wj_tMJMjnI https://chordify.net/chords/lyrics-shamanestr By Maxim Pokrovsky THE DICK
What is it, my dear? Dick, dick, dick!
What is your nightmare? Dick, dick, dick!
What makes your life nasty? Dick, dick, dick!
Dick with testicles?
Maxim Pokrovsky in the flesh; and in the likeness of a Revolutionary anarchist bluejacket
Who flies in the clouds? Dick, dick, dick!
Who scares house martins? Dick, dick, dick!
How are you getting? Dick, dick, dick!
Between two balls of yours?!
Dick! A constellation!
Narcissism! A living legend!
Rupert Everett By Greg Gorman (`Dicknballus`)
You drive humans bonkers! Dick, dick, dick!
You whore after the Devil? Dick, dick, dick!
Snake, who are your cronies? Dick, dick, dick!
Only fucking balls!
Soon all kinds of berries! Dick, dick, dick!
Tangerines and apples! Dick, dick, dick!
Soon apricots and pears! Dick, dick, dick!
Are to be the balls!
Dick! Sorcery!
Magic! The Universe!
Jacque Brel & Rupert Everett
Children, do cross out Dick, dick, dick!
Children, set the red-hot iron! Dick, dick, dick!
Get the fuck, you fucker! Dick, dick, dick!
Dick`n`testicles. (Trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie
HIS FACE SOUNDS FAMILIAR
Our days. The 1rst TV Channel (Russia), the Russian replica of the Spanish show `Tu cara me suena` (`Your Face Sounds Familiar`). Vladimir Lyovkin, the ex-member of an iconic pop group of the 2000s `Na-na` is parodying of the Kai Metov`s Postion #2 song. https://youtu.be/N9_5KszQlbs
Master of ceremonies (Alexandre Oleshko): Volodya, I swear I couldn’t recognize you before I came closer. (to the jury of the Russian artistic celebrities) Please, give your marks. Maxim Averin (Cinema/TV Star): May I ... I’ve been impressed to discover you behind that image, your own temper, your own attitude, I felt your, Volodya Lyovkin`s, resistance to that kind of music, to that kind of taste and so on. I would give the F mark for the very music. (Close-up of Kai Metov) But I am going to give `A` to Volodya Lyovkin. Because I see that it’s your real temper behind the song.
Alexandre Oleshko: We-e-el! The situation is getting critical in here! No doubt that Max made up his mind to drink some truth potion today...
Maxim Averin: Sorry, but I imbibed that potion with my mom’s milk. Alexandre Oleshko: Look here, I do not judge you. It’s even adding savour to our show, varying it, I mean that you’re not afraid of telling your real opinion even in presence of the original source of the parody. Meet real Kai Metov! Maxim Averin: What should I be afraid of in my 40 years old? (seeing Kai Metov in the hall being greeted by the audience) Oi, mommy, I feel so scared!
Alexandre Oleshko: First of all, what do you feel seeing your replica on the stage? Kai Metov: I’d hardly recognized Lyovkin, truly! But I can easily recognize me myself. The exact copy of me. It’s been a session of immersion in that historical period for me. Yes, it was a slightly exaggerated image but it was a real image of our whole county then. That’s the reason of an undying popularity of the song. The vigour of that time shows! Volodya! I can’t express myself! Volodya! What you did got me right here! You`re my bro indeed!
Alexandre Oleshko: My second question ... How’s for you to listen to the various opinions of your song? There are not only applause but also the critical remarks! Kai Metov: I like criticism! I was being criticized for two decades. And they’ve been asking me to perform that song for two decades too. Thank you very much for having that song heard in here again. Vladimir Lyovkin: Then you sing! (They sing together) Alexandre Oleshko: Well, time to hear the marks of the other members of the Jury. Mikhal Sergeich (Mikhail Sergeyevich Boyarsky, the Superstar of the Russian cinema/TV and pop singer) I see that you are now the very Mister Goodness! Mister Generosity!
Kai Metov with Lyubov` Kazarnovskaya
Mikhail Boyarsky: The truth is relative! What we’ve seen is a perfect, competent work. I haven`t recognized Volodya. I kept thinking: Who, who, who, yet I couldn’t guess it. This work deserves only `A` mark! I am far from assessing the quality of the song itself being neither composer nor music expert. But we cannot but agree that it won people’s hearts. This song is his trademark forever. He’ll live with it until his retirement age. As to Lyovkin, I’m giving `A`. It’s great, recognizable, and performed knowingly! Alexandre Oleshko: Thank you! Gennady Viktorovich ( Khazanov, an iconic stand-up comedian, actor in Russia) Gennady Khazanov: If you could open up now the immortal play `Inspector General` by Nikolai Vasiliyevich Gogol, you would see first of all its epigraph `If your face is crooked, don’t blame the mirror!` (Applause) I haven’t expected Gogol to have such a success! The music we have listened to in here now is a reflection of the certain period in our country’s history, it is a cause-and-effect link. As to Volodya Lyovkin, his performance was great, so `A` mark! Alexandre Oleshko: Gennady Viktorovich remembered Nikolai Vasiliyevich here. Now look how the image of Kai Metov played by Lyovkin with a slight movement of my hand is turning out to be Gogol in profile. Just a slight turn of his head! Vladimir Lyovkin: Nothing special. Both me and Kai have got the noses. So my nose plus his nose makes one Googol’s nose.
Gogol`s Nose: `Even loss of hands or feet would have been better, for a man without a nose is the devil knows what — a bird, but not a bird, a citizen, but not a citizen, a thing just to be thrown out of window`.
Gennady Khazanov: If to overlay your noses it is going to make my nose! Alexandre Oleshko: Ha-ha-ha! Lyubov` Yurievna (Kazarnovskaya, the famous Russian Opera Diva), your turn. Lyubov` Kazarnovskaya:Lyovkin`s mark is the A, no doubt! Beyond any doubt! Alexandre Oleshko: Vladimir Lyovkin, you’ve got four As today! Owing to Kai Metov`s image you are considered to be the winner!
THE LITTLE THINK BIG: NEVER PORNO, ONLY ART
THE LITTLE BIG`s SONG `BIG DICK` The tattoo on the chest of a hero of the video reads `The unconquerable strength of mind`. https://youtu.be/i63cgUeSsY0
The Little Big group http://www.thelittlebig.com/ from St. Petersburg makes great play on the stereotypes & clichés, all kinds of them, including the ones related to Russia (vodka, balalaika, `Pravda`, bear, carpets on the walls, fist fighting, etc.) in their music videos. The band`s favourite topics are trash, grim humour, horror, thriller, rave, sick anecdotes, etc. Sometimes they are called the Russian replica of Die Antwoord from South Africa. Their videos `Give Me Your Money` (with participation of Estonian performer of the same style Tommy Cash) and `The Big Dick` were awarded the Berlin Music Video Awards 2016 nominations for Best Performer (3rd place) and Most Trashy (2nd place) correspondingly.
Beware of the Public Enemy & City Threat!
The most disgusting group of Russia?! Oh, no, the Little Big can`t be ugly so! You insist? Don`t be impudent! Bring me my belt! What for? For making you little ones big. (I`m gallowsly cheatti ... sorry, kidding! Yet gimme your money!)
Hidden satire, parody, grotesque, hyperbole are often the distinctive features of the Little Big and other groups of a similar style. The above video is a parody of James Bond`s films. A group of the Russian secret agents (maybe even those frighteful `Putinbots` pretending to be the ordinary Russians) or, vice versa, a mean foreign intelligence arranging anti-Russian provocations, for instance, invites foreigners to Russia to impress and intimidate them with the storm and stress (Sturm und Drang) of the Russian national stereotypes that come true as a nightmare. Wow! After that they report to someone above that another task was fulfilled.
Rave music, small people, libertinism-(ras)putinism, hooliganism is the Kremlin`s new secret weapon
The final dialogue by the phone reads: `Hi! Yes, we met the guest. Yes, after that Estonia will be afraid of Russia. Ha-ha-ha! It will indeed. Good-bye!` (then goes another phone call). The phrase of the fake hooligan (listen to 1:05) in Russian is `The fucking Estonian`. This phrase is a puzzle as the ordinary Russian, even hooligans, would hardly behave like that in that circumstance. So the final scene is an answer! There`s a plot, it`s a concise spy thriller!
Pretty bums: `Entre nous Tommy Cash!`
Estonian rapper Tommy Cash from Tallinn who played the part of a foreigner in the Little Big`s music video creates rather provocative, mocking and horny music videos both as a perfomer and director. He`s great indeed!
Graphic transformation of the Soviet puritanism into the European values? Little* man`s big showbiz? (*Hans Fallada`s Little Man, What Now? (Kleiner Mann, was nun?)) The torn pages from the famous Diary of Emily Dick & his sons? The Freudian subconscious came true? Where`s him, Dr. Fun?
Pussinside. Once an oculist received a poster with his face drawn by his colleagues in an eye as a gift for his birthday. He looked at it, sighed with relief and said: `I see I have all the luck of having NOT become a gynaecologist!`
The Molotov hotchpotchs of rave music and trash video of our time seem to be some dicky liquor. Cheers!
COMMENTARY ON THE SUBCHAPTER This blog and many of its posts are kind of antinovel in a spirit of The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman by Lawrence Sterne. So it could have been entitled as The Life and Opinions of Alex Owie, Gentleman as the author is one of the characters of that novel as well as Dr. Fun (Freude= fun) or Mona Lisa, etc.
Less obvious is the connection of the quasi-banana videos by the Little Big with Jerome David Salinger`s A Perfect Day for Bananafish. Like that short story their songs are too simple to be modernistic, also obsessed with legs and quite complicated for understanding (as a Russian saying goes `you can’t understand them without a half-litre of vodka`). On the other hand, we see here a non-tendentious jokes expressing previously repressed inhibition, though deprived of lust & hostility. Paradoxically, those fucking music videos are asexual!
3) Symbolism of names. Frontman`s familiy name ((Ilya) Prusikin) and frontwoman`s name (Olympia (Ivleva), Lipa (Linde, linden)) generate the associations with either something Prussian, Goethe`s Olympian calm, Riefenstahl`s Olympia, Unter den Linden alley in Berlin) or something pure Russian, Alexandre Ostrovsky`s dramas describing the life of the Russian provincial merchants of the 19 c. and their daughters who were used to be called Lipas. Revelry was those merchants` special style long before Rasputin. The other, no less important ones, participants of the electro-rave group Sergey Gokk (gowk) Makarov, Sophia Tayurskaya, Anton Boo Lissov also sound unusual. The Greek name of Sophia (`wisdom`) means much in the Russian history, philosophy, etc.
3) Sturm und Drang was a period of the German literature of the 18 c., transitional from classicism to romanticism, its features were extreme emotional drive, individualism, immoralism, irrationalism, etc. The followers of that literary school, Stürmers (rioters, rebels), included young Goethe and Schiller. They all experienced the strongest influence of Jean-Jacques Rousseau`s ideology.
On the whole, the great ghosts of the Age of the Enlightenment are implicitly present in all music videos of the Little Big and Tommy Cash making also remember Le Libertin (The Libertine) by Gabriel Aghion, France.
4) `Give Me Your Money` is not only a parody of the Hollywood’s agent 007 but also is an allusion on one of the episodes of the famous Russian TV series `The State Security Agent` (`Advertising spot`, 27-28 eps (3-4 eps of the 3nd Season). That highly-artistic, iconic (and ironic!) TV series shot in St. Petersburg in 00s describes the funny and dangerous adventures of a young FSB agent Alex (informally, Lyokha Nikolayev) in the tough period of the 90s in Russia.
As to the mentioned episode it included twins, Russian agent and Hollywood star nicknamed Mad Cucumber (for his sexual appetite) who were replicas by their appearance. The Russian agent replaced the American as a hero of the Japanese commercial under shooting to expose the Russian mafia bosses who wanted to blindly use the innocent American in their dirty games. As to the American actor he had to have his incessant fun in a company of two girls, the F.S.B. sergeant and captain, in the Moscow dives. That by-plot reminds of the plot of the Give Me Your Money very, very much.
5) the famous Diary of Emily Dick & his sons = never existed literary work, formed from the name of outstanding American poetess Emily Dickinson, that bachelor girl, half-troll girl (by J.B. Priestley`s definition), that Lawrence Sterne of the world’s poetry.
SMOKE, STEAM & PUNK
Aesthetics of the music videos under investigation in the above subchapter is very close to that of the Tomáš Vorel landmark feature film `Kouř` (`Smoke & Steam`) (Czechia), 1991. Both the film and videos contain a steam punk component with ever-present industrial and dormitory areas` landscape & contrasting social division.
That environment makes recall either Dickens or Burgess` novels(and Stanley Kubrick`s film), similar characters of those works. Another steam punk’s features suggest ostentatious cynicism, outright vulgarity, grim `loo` humour, parodying, utopianism and anti-utopianism. By the way, Kouř also contained unexpected music videos which do not look foreign for it. Formally these fragments are something like the musical but they are real electro rave videos indeed, they are very organic, crying out to be performed.
Berem kramle (Melting into thin air). A music video fragment from the feature film `Kouř ` (`Smoke&Steam`) https://youtu.be/4h-eGQa-REc
Let’s go uphill, let’s go down,
let’s go here, let’s go there, melt at worst into thin air.*
půjdem horem, půjdem dolem
půjdem městěm, půjdem kolem
půjdem za roh, půjdem přímo
půjdem spolu, půjdem mimo
půjdem semhle půjdem támhle
kdyby něco berem kramle
let’s go uphill, let’s go down,
let’s cross town, let’s go round,
round the corner, let’s go upright,
go from under, let us pass by,
let’s go here, let’s go there,
melt at worst into thin air.
půjdem v čele, půjdem bokem
půjdem směle, půjdem skokem
půjdem z tvarů, půjdem vzorem
půjdem solo, půjdem sborem
půjdem rychle, půjdem náhle
kdyby něco berem kramle
let’s make running, let’s go sideways,
let’s go bravely, let’s go jumping,
facing foremost, looking forward,
let’s go severally, in a crowd,
let’s go quickly, all together
melt at worst into thin air.
pass by windows, pass by structures,
pass by blocs, let’s pass past courtyards.
serve the purpose, bear your crosses,
every minute, every moment.
let’s go briskly, go with care,
melt at worst into thin air.
půjdem celý, půjdem spola
půjdem čáry, půjdem kola
půjdem dlouho, půjdem krátce
půjdem z bytu, půjdem z práce
půjdem s pepou, půjdem s karlem
kdyby něco berem kramle
let’s go bypass, let’s go proudly,
go in ranks and go dismounted.
let’s go long, let’s go short time,
out of flats and from a jobsite.
go with Peggy, go with David,
melt at worst into thin air.
půjdem radši, půjdem svoje
půjdem za tři, půjdem kdo je
půjdem ke dni, půjdem civil
půjdem bez nich, půjdem živí
půjde s bídou, půjdem s málem
kdyby něco berem kramle
get a move on, go your noses,
let’s go three ways, with the cronies,
let’s go now, as civilians,
go without them, to dinner,
go if need be, go with babies,
melt at worst into thin air. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
- We`ve sung great! Time to wet our whistles now!
- Just one glass!
- Of course, my beautiful!
* Get my bald skull fucked! What were those variants of my previous translations of a poem (`... let’s go here, let’s go there,//just in case let’s take nails, bailers`; (1) then `... let’s go here, let’s go there,//just in case let’s take the staples`?) What a shame for a philologist! It was but an IDIOM! Idiot! A fucking terrible self-derogatory i-di-ot!!! The word of kramle (a staple) that originated to Czech from German Klammer
is a part of an idiom: kdyby něco berem kramle = whenever in trouble just melt into thin air as zahnout kramle, vzít kramle – utéct, zmizet za rohem means escape, vanish round the corner. I shoulda taken into account the very form, shape of a staple. Check out! Check with Czech!
My excuse is that the main subject there was Russian, the second was Polish and Czech was the third (in addition to the programme). They (the Russian teachers) told me that time to choose which language I would prefer, I preferred both but except for Russian there was only Polish exam.
DIONYSIAN LEVELRY …OOPS! REVELRY
Dance of Myrmidons (from the Ivan the Terrible (Part II), 1944 Sung by Mikhail Kuznetsov (Feodor) and choir. https://youtu.be/5tcPBx3O_H4
Music By Sergei Prokofiev
Lyrics By Vladimir Lugovskoy (1901-1957)
MYRMIDONS` DIONYSIAN ORGY (FROM MUSIC TO THE SERGEI EISENSTEIN`S FEATURE FILM `IVAN THE TERRIBLE`) Ivan the Terrible: I am a deserted orphan! Woe to me, no one feeleth pity towards me. Feodor Basmanoff (leader of the Myrmidons):
Lo! Intruders rode into the boyar’s yards! Myrmidons (echoing): Boyar’s yards! Feodor: Their axes started to belabour boyar’s lard. Myrmidons: Boyar’s lard!
Refrain of the court thugs (voluptuously teasing their leader):
Goida! Goida! Outspeak, outspeak!
Outspeak, come on, repeat!
Don’t keep mum, out with it!
Nail them with your axe indeed!
Oi! Swish, swish, swish, swish!
Feodor: Boyar`s gates were cleft in two! Myrmidons: Cleft in two! Feodor: Boyar`s golden bowls went from me to you! Myrmidons: From me to you!
Refrain of the Myrmidons
Feodor: When intruders felt hangover and were off. Myrmidons: And were off! Feodor: They set fire to the boyar’s homes! Myrmidons: Boyar’s homes
Refrain of the Myrmidons
Sergei Prokopief. Feodor Basmanoff`s song (sung by great Russian actor Alexei Petrenko) https://youtu.be/FtmtKoK63Lo
AFTER THAT SCENE IVAN THE TERRIBLE WILL HAVE PRONOUNCED IN THE FILM: Enough of this clowning. Let us stop this fucking whoredom. Let us pray to God, brethren. Let us remember about our mortal hour.
I made up my mind to follow His Majesty the King’s recommendation the more so because tomorrow there’s the Orthodox Church’s Easter. You may say `How dare you!` You`d described such sinful things before that tirade of yours! Yes I`d done. And I feel fine. There is a difference between the two.
Simply, I think like Voltaire: `What is faith? Is it to believe that which is evident? No, it is perfectly evidence to my mind that there exists a necessary, eternal, supreme, and intelligent being. This is no matter of faith, but of reason`. I assure you that Supreme Being of François Marie Arouet le Jeune was not that of the Freemasons as he had even been shriven and received the Sacrament before dying. A foxy fellow! He left nothing to chance.
HOW TO CONQUER EVERESTT? I FOLLOW MONA`S RECEIPT! David`s Apron, Italian cuisine! From Rossini to Michealangelo like winky!
Dr. Fun: A-ha! Mona+David=Luv!GRANNY THE SEX PIRATE May I have attention too, doc? Every week I go to play in the board games but the orgy doesn`t seem to start very soon.
