Getting over his initial shock he said to himself: "Ah,young love... ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers... C'est magnifique!", and continued to watch, remembering the good old day's that he'd once enjoyed.

Tras superar el choque inicial, se dijo a sí mismo: "¡Ah, amor joven ... la primavera, el aire, las flores ... es magnífico!", Y siguió observando, recordando el buen día de que él " D una vez disfrutado.

Suddenly he gasped and said: "Mais... Sacre bleu! Ze woman she is dead!," before heading off as fast as he could to the town to tell Jean, the police chief.

De repente, se quedó sin aliento y dijo: -¡Mais ... Sacre bleu! ¡Zé está muerto !, antes de ir tan rápido como pudiera a la ciudad para decirle a Jean, el jefe de policía.

Bob habla con el farmacéutico, le cuenta que están a punto de casarse y le pregunta: "¿Usted vende medicamentos para el corazón?"

"Por supuesto que sí", responde el farmacéutico.

"¿Medicinas para el reuma?"

"Definitivamente", dice.

"¿Qué hay de Viagra?"

"Por supuesto."

"¿Medicinas para los problemas de memoria, artritis, ictericia?"

"Sí, de todas".

"¿Qué hay de vitaminas, pastillas para dormir, antiácidos?"

"Absolutamente."

"¿Vende sillas de ruedas y andadores?"

"De todas las velocidades y tamaños."

"Bueno," dice Bob al farmacéutico, "¡nos gustaría registrar nuestra lista de bodas aquí, por favor!"

Bob asked to speak to the pharmacist. He explained they’re about to get married, and asked, "Do you sell heart medication?"
 

"Of course we do," the pharmacist replied.
 

"Medicine for rheumatism?"
 

"Definitely," he said.
 

"How about Viagra?"
 

"Of course."
 

"Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
 

"Yes, the works."
 

"What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antacids?"
 

 "Absolutely."
 

"Do you sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
 

"All speeds and sizes."
 

"Good," Bob said to the pharmacist. "We’d like to register for our wedding gifts here, please."

According to The American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists, at least 30 million Americans have a thyroid disorder, half of whom are silent sufferers, and remain undiagnosed. Women are 10 times more likely to have a thyroid problem than men, particularly among those over 35 - studies show that the risk of a thyroid disorder among people from this age group is high (more than 30% likely).

Walter and Linda were a middle aged couple blessed with two beautiful daughters.

Although they felt incredibly lucky for having their girls, Walter and Linda always yearned for a boy.

They began trying for another baby, and it wasn’t long before Linda became pregnant.

Nine months later, they welcomed a baby boy into the world.

Walter was at work when his wife was rushed to hospital, so he got there as quickly as he could. 

To his horror, his son was absolutely hideous, especially when considering how beautiful his daughters were.

“How can I possibly be the father of that ugly baby?” he exclaimed to his wife. “It’s just not possible that I fathered him after we had those two beautiful girls.”

Linda blushed, which made him suspicious. “Have you been fooling around behind my back?” he asked.

“Not this time, honey.”

"What do I look like, a plumber?" asks the husband, and goes to sleep.

A few days later, the wife once again turns to her husband and says, "Honey, my car doesn't start. I think it may need a new battery. Could you change it for me?"

"What do I look like, a mechanic?" asks the husband with a frown.

A week goes by, and the wife once again turns to her husband and says, "Dear, the roof is leaking, could you do something about it?"

"What do I look like, a roofer?" asks the husband. "Take care of these things yourself!"

He then leaves home for a week on a business trip. "When I come back," he says to his wife, "I'd like all these things taken care of."

He comes back a week later and is astonished to discover the roof is fixed, the car is running and the pipes are brand new.

"Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls at his wife.

"Nothing at all." said the wife. "The neighbor popped in and turns out he's a handyman. He said he'd fix the whole thing if I'd just bake him a cake or sleep with him."

"Wow," said the husband. "What kind of cake did you make him?"

"What do I look like," exclaims the wife, "a baker?"

Images (including cover) by Deposit Photos

 True to his word, two months later, as Benny was sleeping, the voice of Dan appeared in his head.

"Benny...Benny..."
"My gosh... Is that you, Dan?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful!  What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have intercourse. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have intercourse again, bathe in the warm sun and then have intercourse a couple more times... then I have lunch (keeping healthy, lots of greens). 

Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have intercourse the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course again. Then it's more intercourse until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again".

"Wow, Dan!  Heaven sounds amazing!"

"What heaven?  I'm a rabbit somewhere in Arizona."

Source

She told the pastor what songs should be sung at the service, what scriptures she wanted to be read, and which outfit she would like to be buried in. She also asked to be buried with her favorite Bible. When it was all written down, and Rev. Phillip was getting ready to leave, Mrs. Smith suddenly remembered one last thing.

“Reverend, there’s one last thing I would like,” she said.

“What is it?” replied the pastor.

“This is very important to me,” she continued. “I would like to be buried with a fork in my right hand.”

Reverend Phillip stood stunned; her words had taken him aback. Mrs. Smith smiled and said “this surprises you, doesn’t it?”

Bemused, the pastor replied “In all honesty, yes. I’m a bit puzzled by this request.”