Daughter: Hi Dad. I love you.

Dad: Ah, the three magic words: I NEED HELP! I've heard those before.

Daughter: Uh, Well, we'd better sit down.

Dad: Uh, this doesn't sound good.

Daughter: Well, first of all . . . hey, is that painting on the wall new?

Dad: No, no, no, no, no. Let's get back to the conversation now.

Daughter: Okay, first of all, I am failing all of my classes, I lost my job, I wrecked my car, I mean, your car last week. It's at the bottom of the lake . . . I think, and the laptop I borrowed from you . . . well, it was in the backseat of the car. That's all of the good news.

Dad: Uh, wait . . .

Daughter: Dad. You're not saying anything . . .

Dad: Okay. Now, what's the bad news?

Daughter: Well, I just found out that my old boyfriend was a member of a gang; he says that he and 20 of his friends are gonna come over here to talk to you about what you posted on their Facebook page.

Dad: I don't even know how to use Facebook!

Daughter: Well, you do now. I have to go. I'd rather not be here in about 20 minutes. Love you. Bye.

Dad: Ugh!!