Dafna536 все записи автора

Перевожу с русского на английский юморные фанфики по аниме Хеллсинг. Фанфики очень хорошие, и мне не хочется портить чудесный авторский текст корявым переводом. Я, конечно, буду искать англоговорящую бету, но таки хочется, чтобы когда я до нее дойду, у меня не было хотя бы грубых ошибок.
Итак фанф первый - Стирка. Оригинал на русском тут http://www.hellfiction.forum24.ru/?1-9-0-00000009-000-0-0-1264351954

<b>The Laundering</b>
-As you wish, My Master, - Alucard bowed and phased into the study wall.
Captain Pickmen, the newcomer, who recently been given an assignment in the Hellsing organization and had arrived to the office for his first briefing, swallowed hard and mumbled: «Holy virgin!»
-Yes,- Lady Hellsing gave a short nod, mockery playing within her eyes. – Get used, Pickman. This is our staff vampire and his marvelous supernatural abilities, he will demonstrate to you with particular importunity, as you are newbie…. Damn it!!!
At first Pikmen couldn’t understand what enraged his commander, then, following her gaze, he saw a big stain on the wall right in the place where Alucard walked in. He came closer, and discovered that the stain was not a stain but a mysterious printing, perfectly shaping the silhouette of the higher vampire.
-Damn! - Integra said again with hatred, approximating to the wall and eyeing the printing. – I’m sick with it.
-What is it, Lady Integra? –captain asked, intrigued.
-This is, - Integra answered restrained anger in her voice, - the way our vampire does the laundering! He dissociates into smallest particles and phases through the wall, but all the stuff, accumulated on his garments: blood, dirt, dust , gunpowder etc., stays <i>on</i> the wall .
- Oh.. – Pikmen said. He wanted to say something else but never managed. The impression was too strong.
-What’s the matter if maids consider it’s a dark omen and quit in two weeks, - Integra kept on. – Big deal, he walked through Rembrand’s original that way last month….Our staff vampire is always in order, neat and tidy….You wanted to say something, Pikmen?
-But it’s amasing, Lady Integra! – Pikmen exclaimed. – He has no need to wash his clothes. Even the socks…
There was a delight in his voice. The Vampirism phenomenon revealed a new side to him.
Integra fixed her gaze on him:
-And looking at you, Pikmen, - she said stiffly, - I would never say you’re a sloven.
Her words got Pikmen’s nerve:
- I’m not a sloven, Lady Integra! – He raised his chin proudly. –I’m a man!


Плюс еще хотелось бы узнать, как лучше сказать:
-Как же он задолбал....
-Личный хит-парад ненависти.
-А теперь, когда мое инкогнито раскрыто...
И еще у меня проблемы с этим " Прошел сквозь стену", "ушел в стену"..

Заранее спасибо)))