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By James Sherman 
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening? 
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. 
George: Great. Lay it on me. 
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. 
George: That’s what I want to know. 
Condi: That’s what I’m telling you. 
George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China? 
Condi: Yes. 
George: I mean the fellow’s name. 
Condi: Hu. 
George: The guy in China. 
Condi: Hu. 
George: The new leader of China. 
Condi: Hu. 
George: The Chinaman! 
Condi: Hu is leading China. 
George: Now whaddya’ asking me for? 
Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China. 

George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China? 
Condi: That’s the man’s name. 
George: That’s who’s name? 
Condi: Yes. 
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? 
Condi: Yes, sir. 
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. 
Condi: That’s correct. 
George: Then who is in China? 
Condi: Yes, sir. 
George: Yassir is in China? 
Condi: No, sir. 
George: Then who is? 
Condi: Yes, sir. 
George: Yassir? 
Condi: No, sir. 
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. 
Condi: Kofi? 
George: No, thanks. 
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No. 
Condi: You don’t want Kofi. 
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. 
Condi: Yes, sir. 
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. 
Condi: Kofi? 
George: Milk! Will you please make the call? 
Condi: And call who? 
George: Who is the guy at the U.N? 
Condi: Hu is the guy in China. 
George: Will you stay out of China?! 
Condi: Yes, sir. 
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. 
Condi: Kofi. 
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. 
(Condi picks up the phone.) 
Condi: Rice, here. 
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

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