never_givin_up (Learning_English) все записи автора

 The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. 

So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did not like  the taste.

-_Squirrel_- (Learning_English) все записи автора

Проверьте пожалуйста=)

angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

 After a British Airways flight reached its cruising altitude, the
Captain announced:

'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293,

Non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so

We should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and .

HOLY CRAP !'

Silence followed

Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.

'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking

To you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in

My lap. You should see the front of my pants!'

One Irish passenger yelled,

'Fook sake!, you should see the back of mine!'

Kate_Sitnikova (Learning_English) все записи автора

 Подскажите, пожалуйста, где можно скачать субтитры для фильмов на английском! Заранее благодарна :) за любую помощь...

angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

 A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands.

The girl watches him and says, "You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says "Yes ... how did you figure that out?"
The girl says, "Easy... you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, the girl says, "You must be a great dentist."
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Yes, I sure am a great dentist... How did you figure that out?"
The girl says, "Easy... I didn't feel a thing!"

angryrat (Learning_English) все записи автора

 Things you didn't know you didn't know!
1.Barbie's full name is Barbara Milicent Roberts.

2.It is impossible to lick your elbow.

3.A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.

4.A shrimp's heart is in their head.

5.People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, you're heart stops for a mili-second.

6.In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so).

7.It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

8.A pregnant goldfish is called a twit

9.Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetti Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas.

10.By law, every child in Belgium must take harmonica lessons at Primary school.

11.On average, a human being will have sex more than 3,000 times and spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime.

12.More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

13.Rats and horses can't vomit.

14.The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

15.If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or
neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they will pop out.

16.Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

17.Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

18.If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

19.In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

20.The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

21.Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

22.A duck's quack doesn't echo anywhere, and no one knows why.

23. 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.

24.In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.

25.Most lipstick contains fish scales.

26.Cat's urine glows under a black light.

27.Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.