stuart1861 все записи автора Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes the cows and puts them in a barn with everyone one elses cows. You have to take care of all the cows but the government gives you as much milk as you need.

Bureaucratic Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone elses cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as current regulations allow.

Facism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them and you all share the milk.

Russian Communism: You have two cows. You have to take care of them but the government takes all the milk.

Dictatorship: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Singaporian Democracy: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

Militarianism: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you for service.

Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to decide who gets the milk.

American Democracy: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for their party. After the election, the President is impeached for speculating in cow futures and the press dubs the affair, "Cowgate".

British Democracy: You have two cows. You feed them sheep brains and they go mad. The government does nothing.

Pure Bureacracy: You have two cows. At first, the government regulates what and when you can feed them as well as when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that, it takes both cows, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Anarchy: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair market price or the neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and purchase a bull.

Hong Kong Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly-listed company using letters of credit obtained by your brother in law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by a majority stockholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows milk back to the listed company. — The annual report states that the company owns eight cows with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows due to bad Feng Shui.

Environmentalism: You have two cows. The government bans milking or killing cows.

Feminism: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.

Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The government takes both and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Political Correctness: You have two cows. Since ownership is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war mongering and intolerant past, the government describes you as associated with two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.