paranoid все записи автора http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjU22L6UX-0


------------
Randal: but why haven't you fucked Myra yet?
Elias: Well, we can't because of Pillow Pants.
Randal: What the fuck's Pillow Pants?
Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll
who lives in her pussy... Pillow Pants
is her pussy troll... You know every
girl's parents put a pussy troll in them
when the girls are young to keep them from having premarital sex?
Randal: Sure
Elias: Well, Myra's is named Pillow
Pants and so, even though she totally
wants to have sex with me Myra says if
I put my thing in her, Pillow Pants will
bite it off! So I gotta wait until Pillow Pants
gets peed out of her body on her 21st birthday
before we can have sex.
Randal: And Myra told you this?
Elias: Boyfriends and girlfriends talk
to each other about sex stuff, Randall. You'd know this if you ever had a girlfriend.
Randal: Have you and Myra even kissed yet?
Elias: We would have already if it wasn't
for Listerfiend.
Randal: Listerfiend is her mouth troll, isn't it?
Elias: Women.
-----------------

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHWjeoF-_q8
-----
Elias: One ring to rule them all.
Customer: One ring to find them.
Randal: Oh, Jesus.
Elias: One ring to bring them all.
Customer: And in the darkness bind them.
Elias: Yess! How many times?
Customer: Well, three for Fellowship, two for Towers, four for Return.
Elias: Five for Return.
Randal: Alright look, there is only one return ok, and it ain´t of
the King its of the Jedi.
Customer: Oh, Starwars geek.
Randal: Oh I´m the geek?! Look at you two whippin' out your preciouses.
Elias: You have to excuse him, he´s not 'down' with the trilogy.
Randal: Oh what the fuck happened to this world. There is only one
trilogy you fuckin morrons.
Customer: You know what, maybe we should start calling your friend Padme,
because he loves mannequin Skywalker so much, right? "Danger, Danger, my
name is Anneken, my shitty acting is ruining Saga."
Elias: Hehe, yeah you're crazy jarjar
Randal: Well I´m Crazy? Those fucking hobbit movies were boring as hell.
All it was, was a bunch of people walking. Three movies, a people walking
to a fucking volcano. Here's the first movie.... And here's the second
movie...
Customer: He is way off.
Elias: Loser.
Randal: You ready for the third movie?
Another Customer: Fuckin "A".
Randal: Even the fucking trees walked in those movies.
Customer: You know what? I've had enough of you. Your simplistic analysis of
the trilogy aside, the Lord of The Rings was a massive achievement, and even
the Acedemy recognized when they gave Peter Jackson the best directing Oscar.
An award your little friend George "toyboy" Lucas has never, and will never win.
Elias: That was sick bird.
Randal: Let me tell you something. If Peter Jackson really werent to blow me
away with those movies. He would ended the third one with a logical closure point. Not with the twenty five endings that followed.
Elias: What´s the logical closure point?
Customer: Yeah friend, enlighten us.
Randal: When fucking 'Frida' wakes up from his little coma or whatever and the
little hobbits are jumping up and down on his bed and Sam leans in the doorway and gives him that very fucking gay look.
Elias: Not the rings Randal, say what you will about Jesus, but leave the rings out of this.
Customer: I will kick your ass back to the Shire if you don´t shut your
fucking mouth!
Randal: That look was so gay I thought Sam was gonna tell the little hobbits
to take a walk, so he could sonter over to Frodo and suck his fuckin cock. Now
that would be an academy award worthy ending.
Customer: Hey! Faggot! They're not gay, they're hobbits.
Randal: And then right after the Sam-Frodo suckfest right before the credits
roll Sam fucking flat out bricks in Frodo's mouth.
Customer: I Swear... (pukes).

В колонках играет - The Stooges: "Raw Power"