Money is a;lways a sensitive issue for any couple... it's a cause of a lot of frustration for me, in our relationship with Harry. He has a very different approach and a logic that I simply can not understand.

From September last year we have both been working, however he refused to contribute any of his income to the family budget... He insisted we have to use my money for our living expenses. He promised that by the end of the year, he will calculate whatever he earned, and we'll review the budget again, and put back into the common kitty whateever he earned. But of course that did not happen.. he only said it, so I keep paying for everything, and do not argue with him.
So he works and put his earnings into his pocket, and I give all my money to support our family. I do not think i'ts fair - am I wrong?

Harry is saying that he will spend the money that he earned on the house and on things for us, but that also means that he decides what to spend it on, and I have no control over it.. How convenient for him!

All our conversations and numerous arguments on the subject did not bring any results.

In Auguest he insisted that we go on a holiday, and that I pay for it.. I did not want to go, not only because of the money, but that was part of the reason.. at the end we agreed that if I pay for the holiday, he'll pay for my mother's ticket (it was about an equal amount). And of course he did not keep his promise...I gave my mom the money. And whenever I ask for this money back it causes an argument and lots of insults..

Now he decided not to work again... I have no say in this.. So automatically he expects me to support him financially again.
Moreover, yesterday he asked me to pay 229 pounds out of my savings, so we can put Yuri in the nursery for one extra weeek, while he works on the house.

I though it was not right, we should be using our common money for it, whatever Harry earned and saved last year, while he used my money to live on.. but he would not agree..

He has much more savings than me, but refuses to spend a penny on his living expenses.. even for his haircut he wants me to pay.. and now whatever little I want to save, he wants me to spend, and he insists and puts lots of pressure on me all the time.

I can not respect a man like that... In fact his attitude to my money as his own makes me furious.


Once in the past I remember he wanted to go into business and asked me to give him all my savings to start it (about 10000 pounds at the time). When I said that I want this money to buy a house , he made a huge scene... he said I am not understanding. I am selfish and don't understand that we are now a couple. He said that I do not belive in him, I see me as separate from him (whereas he sees both myself my money as his own, of course!)... It was a mess... he was so angry then, that it spoiled our holidays in Spain.

Well his attitude has not really changed since.