Фотографии Sandyrella : Girl like me

Walking in NYC - pt 2

Фотографии Sandyrella : Girl like me

Walking in NYC, 2007

В колонках играет - Poison-Ride the wind

By Joel Stein:

 YOU CAN argue about whether it's better to live here or New York or San Francisco, but one thing is for sure: Los Angeles is the best place to die.

The rest of the country is still stuck in the somber, generic, sterile, 20th century funeral mind-set, the kind that's all focused on death. In the L.A. mortuary community, on the other hand, it's not even cool to use the word "funeral." Now it's an End of Life Celebration. And, at 35 years old, I was already a little late in planning mine.

Lisa Takeuchi Cullen, author of "Remember Me: A Lively Tour of the New American Way of Death," told me that if I wanted to have a decent video — a basic staple for any End of Life Celebration — I should start shooting now. When I asked Cullen if making my mourners watch a movie about me would come off as a little self-absorbed, she told me that I had wisdom to pass down and that I was stuck in a pre-YouTube mentality. "Nobody would find it strange if they went to your funeral and saw your giant face on a screen talking incessantly about yourself," she said. "In fact, they'd expect it."

To plan my party, Cullen sent me to Lynn Isenberg, who turned her novel, "The Funeral Planner," into Lights Out Enterprises — a kind of party planning service for dead people. Isenberg, who charges $1,000 per fiesta, has planned some sweet end-of-lifers. One includes a $75,000 video complete with animation and underwater photography; another established a fund so a guy could force his family to see the Detroit Red Wings every year. Though that was clever, I figured I could up the ante by making my family see every new Kevin Smith movie.

Isenberg sent me two long forms to fill out: one for me and one for my wife. After reviewing them, Isenberg impressed me with her can-do attitude. Regarding a question about whom I'd like to speak at my funeral, she wrote back: "As for Thomas Pynchon, I would try to contact now and see if there's something he'd like to write about you or say about you on audio/video so that you have it to show, assuming he precedes you in death."

We agreed on an end-of-life dinner at the sixth-highest Zagat-rated restaurant in L.A. I'd have a very small guest list because I don't care who gets mad for being left out, me being dead and all. They'll show my movie, and I'll pick four people to speak for four minutes each. Three if Pynchon comes through.

Like every event in L.A., I'd need a gift bag. Lash Fary, who runs the gift bag company Distinctive Assets, thought he could hook me up with two bags: one for any celebrities in attendance — which might be a problem because my one celebrity friend is Robert Goulet — and one for everyone else. Fary was pretty sure he could get chocolate-covered Altoids and some copies of the L.A. Times. And, if I mention the products in a posthumous column, probably Solstice sunglasses and a T-shirt with the Star of David in Swarovski crystals. Done and done.

For my cemetery, I decided on Hollywood Forever, right next to Paramount Studios. Not only do they show movies there in the summer, house lots of celebs and a tremendous amount of headstones with Russian faces etched in that '80s county-fair, computer-drawn T-shirt style, but they have a hot receptionist, road signs written in that "Addams Family" font and a general ironic-cool vibe that says: Sure I'm dead, but I get it.

I was leaning toward being cremated (everyone's doing it, Cullen assured me) and put into a compartment in these adorable, tiled, 5-foot-tall Thai stupas in the Buddhist garden. Then, on a tour, Jay Gianukos — who, for prices starting at $2,500, directs bio movies for the cemetery — told me about a new virtual plot up in Fernwood. They'll wrap your body in cloth, let you biodegrade into the ground and mark your body only by a GPS machine that will show your video when visitors arrive on the correct patch of land. Even more than a huge statue of myself, like Johnny Ramone has, an eco-burial seemed like the most effective way of telling everyone that I'm better than them.

Finally, because my wife, Cassandra, who is always looking to embarrass me, told Isenberg that before we go to sleep I say "Good night my sweet girl. Sweet dreams," Isenberg suggested that I record that so she can hear it for a little while after I'm gone. Because what could help you fall asleep better than a dead guy talking about your dreams? I might even put on a brown fedora and some metal finger extensions for it.

So I'm not going to do any of it, other than having my ashes scattered. Because all this is still nothing more than striving for immortality, and immortality is the foolish fantasy of weak egos. Everything is eventually forgotten anyway, and I'm OK with that. In fact, it might work in my favor.

Clever sign

Any water around???

В колонках играет - Nickelback-Fight for all the wrong reasons
I love having sex with him! I like everything new with him! And I'm still in love with him his way of life. We are so bitchy alike, bitchy the same.

В колонках играет - Mattafix-Living Darful

I'm absolutely healthy (that means that I can walk and drive, but no heels at all).
So, how was your weekend?? Mine was rather ok, actually boring, cuz nothing happened.
To Kat_Davis: Kat, pics from that party are awesome!! Wanna see more! Have you got pics from Halloween (the old one), that Jonathan photographed? They were really funny.

В колонках играет - James Marsters-Patricia

OMG! That was the hardest night ever. I can't feel my feet anymore ('specially the left one). The reason is a party in Ultra Suede (West Hollywood), and after dancing we (me & Steve) took a taxi to Pasadena, and then decided to walk a little (ok, to walk a lot) to my house. And I grazed my feet so bad that had to call emergency and they even gave me some pills. Very nice evening.
N.B.: NO MORE WALKING IN NEW BOOTS!

В колонках играет - Divinyls-I touch myself

Giles: We have to talk.
Buffy: I don't suppose this is about happy squirrels?
Giles: Vampires.
Buffy: That was my next guess.

Xander: I laugh in the face of danger. Then run and hide until it goes away.

Willow: Happy hunting.
Buffy: Wish me monsters.

Xander: [to Buffy] Can I have you? Duh... heh-heh... can I help you?

Buffy: Who are you?
Angel: Let's just say ... I'm a friend.
Buffy: Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend.
Angel: I didn't say I was yours.

Buffy: Angel?
Angel: Hmm?
Buffy: Do you snore?
Angel: I don't know. It's been a long time since anybody's been in a position to let me know.

Xander: Now I'm sayin' something. You saw him naked?

Buffy: I invited you into my home and you attacked my family. Why?
Angel: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends. And their friends' children. For a hundred years I offered an ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.

The Master: A dream is a wish your heart makes.

Principal Snyder: There're some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense.
Giles: No, actually that would be one of the five.

Buffy: Sorry, but I'm an old fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.

Buffy: I wasn't gonna use violence. I don't always use violence. Do I?
Xander: The important thing is you believe that.

[Angel tracks Buffy to the graveyard where she's patrolling.]
Angel: What are you saying, you want to have a date?
Buffy: No.
Angel: You don't want to have a date?
Buffy: Who said "date?" I ... I, I never said "date."
Angel: Right. You just want to have coffee or something.
Buffy: Coffee?
Angel: I knew this was going to happen.
Buffy: What? What do you think is happening?
Angel: You're sixteen years old. I'm two hundred and forty-one ...
Buffy: I've done the math.
Angel: You don't know what you're doing, you don't know what you want ...
Buffy: Oh. No, I ... I think I do. I want out of this conversation. [starts to stalk off]
Angel: Listen, if we date, you and I both know one thing's going to lead to another.
Buffy: One thing already has led to another. You think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?
Angel: I'm just trying to protect you. This could get out of control.
Buffy: Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
Angel: [grabs her roughly] This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me I want to die.

Drusilla: Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?
Spike: Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet.

В колонках играет - Alanis Morissette-Still

Ah, the famous meme. If you're on my friends list, respond! Pretty please?

1. Can you cook? No, only pancakes
2. What was your dream growing up? To be a surfer
3. What talent do you wish you had? I wish I could fly, even if it's broomsick.
4. Favorite place? Angel Island near SF
5. Favorite vegetable? tomato
6. What was the last book you read? 'Free for all' by Don Borchert
7. What zodiac sign are you? Leo
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Only ears
9. Worst Habit? Sometimes I drink alone
10. Do we know each other outside of Livejournal? oh...Yeah, kindda))
11. What is your favorite sport? Volleyball, baseball
12. Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude? Optimistic
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? Calling smb
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you? Car crash
15. Tell me one weird fact about you. I can sleep in my car sometimes
16. Do you have any pets? No
17. Do you know how to do the Macarena? Yes
18. What time is it where you are now? 12 am
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Scary
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? Lips
21. Would you be my partner in crime or my conscience? Anywhere
22. What color eyes do you have? Blue
23. Ever been arrested? No
24. Bottle or Draft? Bottle
25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it? Have a party
26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew? With fruits
27. What's your favorite bar to hang at? Viper room (LA) or  Twin Palms or Wetzels Pretzels in Pasadena
28. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes
29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Listening to music as loud as possible
30. Do you swear a lot? No
31. Biggest pet peeve? Rumors
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Noisy
33. In one word, how would you describe me? ---
34. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you? (or should I fill it right now and here?)

В колонках играет - Pink Floyd-Mother

Sometimes I just don't believe in reality!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
There are only 4 words in the English language which end in dous" : tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
The characters Bert & Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life."
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
A cockroach can live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.
Elvis had a twin brother named Aaron, who died at birth, which is why Elvis' middle name was spelled Aron : in honor of his brother. It is also misspelled on his tomb stone.
Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."
Marilyn Monroe had 6 toes on one foot.
If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.
The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start, with the exception of North America.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.
A snail can sleep for 3 years.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 byeliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
Vatican City is the smallest country in the world with a population of 1,000 and a size of 108.7 acres.
"Go!" is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
No president of the United states was an only child.
And last and definitely most important :
The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it!

Настроение сейчас - sucks

Central FINRA office, 2.19 pm, LA, Ca
I'm sitting in my office. Actually it's dinner time, and I'm going to visit the nearest cafe and drink some coffee.
I was totally stressed yesterday, and have a strange desire of visiting my psychologist friend Katrina. Unfortunately, she's now offline, may be she's listening some patient and discovering the secrets of human soul.
Well, I gotta go. Sorry for the post with no information at all!)

Фотографии Sandyrella : Girl like me

Slovakia (pt.1)

В колонках играет - Wilson Phillips-California

Sunday, 8.50 am, LA, USA.
So, hello there! I am back to Cali, so I'm back to you. Missed you a lot. I gotta say that wi-fi was absolutely awful in Slovakia, so and my laptop was showing me mistakes (meaning smth like 'fuck off', I guess).
Anyway that was amazing to say goodbye to LA for a week)) Ha-ha-ha. I guess, my boss believed in my 'illness'. We left LAX at 7 pm and after a few hours of terrible flight we were in Slovakia, then we got our bus tickets and moved to Jasna. That was so cool!!! Tasty food, nice people and snow (though we have snow in Ca)! Guys, you should visit this country!!
A huge thanx to Jesse and Susan who made that trip so awesome!

В колонках играет - Ricky Martin-Livin la vida loca

Настроение сейчас - yeah!yeah!yeah!

OMG, my friends just asked me to join their weekend trip to Slovakia! Isn't that great?! We're gonna skiing there!!!
Wow!!!
*went to search my passport*

"Does this town need a hug? What happened? 'No Country For Old Men,' 'Sweeney Todd,' 'There Will Be Blood'? All I can say is, thank God for teen pregnancy." -- Jon Stewart on the "psychopathic killer movies" nominated

"These past three and a half months have been very tough. The town was torn apart by a bitter writer's strike, but I'm happy to say that the fight is over. So tonight, welcome to the makeup sex." -- Jon Stewart

"Even 'Norbit' got a nomination, which I think is great. Too often, the Academy ignores movies that aren't good." -- Jon Stewart

"Tom Hanks has won two Academy Awards, although he was not nominated tonight. So if you ask me, he's got no place being here. He's got a lot of nerve, that guy." -- Jon Stewart, introducing presenter Hanks

"Mostly we just sit around making catty comments about the outfits you're all wearing at home." -- Jon Stewart on how the Kodak Theater audience spends the commercial breaks

"I happened to have taken Spanish in high school ... I believe he told his mother where the library is." -- Jon Stewart "translating" Javier Bardem's Spanish-language acceptance speech

Personal opinion: the worst ceremony ever! Jon Stewart's jokes (okay, some of them) were not funny. All my predictions about winners failed. Damn, I lost not only a couple of bucks, but a belief in Oscar ceremony. I do understand that those people who give there votes to some actor/movie etc. are qualified, but I think they should ask movie-goers about their opinion!! That will be fair!

 

Oh, how I love movies! Wanna know a person, ask about his favorite movie. So, I've just watched Bedazzled with Liz Hurley & Brendan Fraser. How nice Elizabeth as a Devil. And how funny this comedy is.

В колонках играет - Energy Dance Radio 80's

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

 

Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

 

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

 

Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

 

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

Crying is blackmail.

 

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one :
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

 

We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

 

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

 

Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

 

Check your oil! Please.

 

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

 

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

 

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer .

 

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

 

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

 

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

 

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

 

Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

 

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

 

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit , not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

 

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

 

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.,/LI>

 

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation or monster trucks.

 

You have enough clothes.

 

You have too many shoes.

 

Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway.)

 

It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

 

BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

В колонках играет - Scorpions-I'm still loving you

Sure, you thought you already knew that. But now we have conclusive proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged :

 

 

• MATURITY
  Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults with the exception of a teen magazine vocabulary.

  Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.

   

• HATS
  Women look good in hats; men look like dinks.

   

• COMEDY
  Let's say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching television and an episode of "The Three Stooges" comes on. Immediately, the men will get very excited - they will laugh uproariously, and even try to imitate the actions of Curly, man's favorite stooge.

  The women will roll their eyes and groan and wait it out.

   

• HANDWRITING
  To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch.

  Women use scented, colored stationery and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's." It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note.

   

• BATHROOMS
  A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

  The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437.
  A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

   

• MAGAZINES
  Women's magazines have sexy women on the cover.

  Men's magazines have sexy women on the cover.

   

• GROCERIES
  A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things.

  A man waits until the only items left in his refrigerator are half of a lemon and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time he reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than a clown car. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

   

• GOING OUT
  When a man says he's ready to go out, it means he's ready to go out.

  When a woman says she's ready to go out, it means that she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes putting on her makeup ...

   

• WORK SHOES
  When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit and then slip into Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When she arrives at work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under her desk.

  A man wears one pair of shoes for the entire day.

   

• OTHER SHOES
  Women have millions of shoes, one for every outfit.

  Men have millions of shoes, one for every sport or athletic activity.

   

• CATS
  Women love cats.

  Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

   

• MIRRORS
  Women look into mirrors for hours arranging makeup and doing a million things to their hair only to decide they are having a bad hair day.

  Men look into the mirror before they go out for no apparent reason.

   

• GARAGES
  Women use garages to park their cars and to store their lawnmowers.

  Men use garages for many things. They hang license plates in garages, they watch TV in garages and they build useless wooden things in garages.

   

• MOVIES
  For women, their favorite movie scene is when Clark Gable kisses Vivian Leigh for the first time in "Gone With The Wind."

  For men, it's when the entire 3rd floor of the research lab blows up but the terminator drives out in "Terminator II".

  In general, women like movies with more romance than competition and violence (which they call "Male Testosterone Movies"). Men like movies with more competition and violence than romance (which they call "Chick Flicks").

   

• JEWELRY
  Women look nice when they wear jewelry.

  A man can get away with wearing one ring, and that's it.
  Any more than that, and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.

   

• MENOPAUSE
  When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological and biological changes. The nature and degree of the changes varies with the individual.

  Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction. He buys aviator glasses, snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves and goes shopping for an expensive foreign sports car.

   

• THE TELEPHONE
  Men see the telephone as a communications tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people.

  A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

   

• DIRECTIONS
  If a woman is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions.

  Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. A man will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, "Looks like I've found a new way to get there," and "I know I'm in the neighborhood. I recognize that White Hen store."

   

• ADMITTING MISTAKES
  Women will sometimes admit making a mistake.

  The last man who admitted that he was wrong was Gen. George Custer.

   

• OFFSPRING
  Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.

  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

   

• DRESSING UP
  A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail ...

  A man will dress up for : weddings, funerals.

   

• DAVID LETTERMAN
  Men think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the earth.

  Women think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad haircut.

   

• CAMERAS
  Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4000 for state-of-the-art equipment, and build darkrooms, and take photography classes.

  Women purchase Kodak Instamatics, and often produce better-looking shots.

   

• POLITICS
  Men love to talk about politics, but they often forget to do political things such as voting.

  Women are very happy that another generation of Kennedys is growing up and getting into politics, because they will be able to campaign for them and cry on election night.

   

• LAUNDRY
  Women do laundry every couple of days.

  A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat and expect to meet a beautiful woman while he is there.

   

• WEDDINGS
  When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about the "ceremony," what everyone wore, and who cried the most.

  Men try and change the subject.

   

• CHEERLEADERS
  Female cheerleaders are cute, sexy, fresh, and all-American.

  Male cheerleaders are scary.

   

• SOCKS
  Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweatsocks.

  Women wear strange socks. They are cut below the ankles, have pictures of teddy bears or hearts on them, and are most likely pink.

   

• TOYS
  Little girls love to play with toys. Then, when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest.

  Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive and impractical. Examples of men's toys : miniature TV's, car phones, complicated juicers and blenders, graphic equalizers, computer programs that do useless things very fast, video games and anything that blinks, beeps and requires at least six "D" batteries to operate.

   

• PLANTS
  A woman will ask a man to water her plants while she is on vacation. The man will water the plants.

  The woman returns five days later, to an apartment full of dead plants . No one knows why this happens.

   

• MUSTACHES
  Some men look good with mustaches : Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds.

  There are no women who look good with mustaches.

   

• NICKNAMES
  With the exception of female body-builders, who call each other names like "Ultimate Pecs" and "Big Turk," women eschew the use of nicknames. If Jennifer, Susan, Kristen and Michelle get together for lunch, they will call each other Jennifer, Susan, Kristen and Michelle.

  But if Mike, Dave and Jack go out for a brewski, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bullet-Head, Peanut-Brain and Useless.

   

• HAIRCUTS
  For men haircuts are a short and simple process : make an appointment, go in, come out with your hair slightly shorter.

  For women the process is much more complicated. First, numerous hair styles, colorings and lengths must be considered. The only hairstylist in the world they trust must be reserved. The whole process is filled with excitement and worry. And finally she hides from the world for several days because she is not sure if she likes her new haircut.

   

• SPORTS
  Women like sports that are judged on grace and beauty, such as gymnastics and figure skating.

  Men like sports that are judged on physical aggression and violence, such as football, hockey and boxing.

  There are no sports that both men and women enjoy. Full contact gymnastics never got off the ground.