The 5 toughest questions women ask - and their answers

The five questions are :
1 -  "What are you thinking?"
2 -  "Do you love me?"
3 -  "Do I look fat?"
4 -  "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
5 -  "What would you do if I died?"
What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to
explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not
answer properly, which is to say dishonestly.  For example:
1 -  "What are you thinking?"  The proper answer to this question, of
course, is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear.  I was just reflecting
on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful
woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you."
Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what
the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of
five things:
a -  Baseball
b -  Football
c -  How fat you are.
d -  How much prettier she is than you.
e -  How he would spend the insurance money if you died.
According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid
question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it
by his wife, Peg.  "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking
instead of thinking."
The other questions also have only one right answer but many
wrong answers:
2 -  "Do you love me?"  The correct answer to this question is,
"Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you
may answer, "Yes, dear. Wrong answers include:
a -  I suppose so.
b -  Would it make you feel better if I said yes.
c -  That depends on what you mean by "love".
d -  Does it matter?
e -  Who, me?
3 -  "Do I look fat?"  The correct male response to this question is to
confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then
quickly leave the room.  Wrong answers include:
a -  I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either.
b -  Compared to what?
c -  A little extra weight looks good on you.
d -  I've seen fatter.
e -  Could you repeat the question?  I was thinking about your
insurance policy.
4 -  "Do you think she's prettier than me?"  The "she" in the question
could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were starring at so hard
thay you almost cause a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you
just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much
prettier." Wrong answers include:
a -  Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.
b -  I don't know how one goes about rating such things.
c -  Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.
d -  Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.
e -  Could you repeat the question?  I was thinking about your
insurance policy.
5 -  "What would you do if I died?"  Correct answer:  "Dearest love,
in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have
meaning for me and I would perforce hurl myself under the front
tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way."  This
might be the stupidest question of the lot, as is illustrated by the
following stupid joke:
"Dear," said the wife.  "What would you do if I died?"
"Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband.  "Why
do you ask such a question?"
"Would you remarry?"  persevered the wife.
"No, of couse not, dear" said the husband.
"Don't you like being married?" said the wife.
"Of course I do, dear" he said.
"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
"Alright," said the husband, "I'd remarry."
"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.
"Yes" said the husband.
"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long
pause.
"Well yes, I suppose I would."  replied the husband.
"I see," said the wife indignantly."  And would you let her wear my
old clothes?"
"I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband.
"Really," said the wife icily.  "And would you take down the
pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"
"Yes.  I think that would be the correct thing to do."
"Is that so?"  said the wife, leaping to her feet.  "And I suppose
you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too."
"Of course not, dear," said the husband.  "She is left-handed."

В колонках играет - Mercyful Fate-Fifteen men (and a bottle of rum)

God bless Friday-the shortest day in the week!!!
God bless weekend-cuz I just wanna have fun, or at least some rest)

В колонках играет - Frank Sinatra-Love and marriage

The most difficult thing is not writing in Russian blog site, but is in reading blogs.
I can easily learn all the buttons, but I can hardly understand what you guys writing, even using some dictionaries and translational programs. God, I've never thought there are so many words that even modern program can't interpret it. So, thank you for reading me, sorry 4 the fact that I can hardly comment you!
P.S.: it will be very kind if you could write a short summary of the post in 2-3 sentences in English 4 me
P.P.S.: I've created a community about Married with children, so if you wish, visit Married with children .

В колонках играет - Alison Moyet-Invisible
The main clip



Parody-I wanna be a pop star

В колонках играет - Deep Purple-Smoke on the water

A huge loss for Hollywood and a whole world. I'm so sad that this happen. He was such a great actor. I loved him so much. My Condolences to his family.

Actor Heath Ledger was found dead Tuesday of a possible drug overdose in a Lower Manhattan apartment, the New York Police Department said.
Heath Ledger was unresponsive when a housekeeper found him in a Manhattan apartment Tuesday.
The Academy Award-nominated actor was 28.
Ledger was found naked and unresponsive, facedown on the floor at the foot of his bed by a housekeeper trying to wake him for an appointment with a masseuse, said police spokesman Paul Browne.
"Pills were found in the vicinity of the bed," he told CNN.
"This is being looked at as a possible overdose, but that is not confirmed yet."
Browne later told reporters some prescription medications were found in the room, including sleeping pills.
But he stressed police have made no determination of the cause of Ledger's death -- that would be done by the medical examiner.
He said the pills were not "scattered about."
No note was found and there was no indication of foul play, Browne said. Ledger was found at about 3 p.m., and was pronounced dead at the scene by emergency personnel about 3:30 p.m.
                        

В колонках играет - Placebo-Pure morning
Настроение сейчас - sleepy

Christmas present 4 Simsun.

• Ann-margret  - Chicago
• Chicago - Take me back to Chicago
• Chicago - Chicago
• Frank Sinatra - My kind of town
• Frank Sinatra - Chicago
• Blues Brothers - Sweet home Chicago
• Apache Indian - In the ghetto
• Alkaline Trio - I'm dying tomorrow
• Paper Lace - The night Chicago died
• Zz Top - Jesus just left Chicago
• Pixies - Born in Chicago
• Styx - Back to Chicago
• Plumb - Pennyless
• Phair Liz - Stratford-on-guy
• Used Cars - Land of rock

If you want some others 'songs about' lists, let me know! I do take requests))

Фотографии Sandyrella : Holidays

Christmas photos

Davey Jones: Damn you, Jack Sparrow...

Tia Dalma: Land is where you are safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you.
Jack Sparrow: ...This is a jar of dirt.
Tia Dalma: Yes.
Jack Sparrow: ...Is the jar of dirt going to help?
Tia Dalma: If you don't want it, give it back.
Jack Sparrow: [greedily] No!
Jack Sparrow: Then it helps.

Davey Jones: You are neither dead nor dying. What is your purpose here?
Will Turner: [quickly] Jack Sparrow sent me to settle his debt.
Davey Jones: What is your purpose here?
Will Turner: Jack Sparrow? Sent me to settle his debt?
Davey Jones: [Laughs] Did he, now? I'm sorely tempted to accept that offer.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Wondering how it's played?
Will Turner: I understand. It's a game of deception. But your bet includes all the dice, not just your own. What are they wagering?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Oh, the only thing we have. Years of service.
Will Turner: So any crew member can be challenged?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Aye. Anyone.
Will Turner: I challenge Davy Jones.
Davy Jones: [Davy Jones is stepping down the stairs and as he does, barnacles and mussels hanging on the steps retract] I accept, mate

Will Turner: You want me to find this?
Jack Sparrow: No. You want you to find this, because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and or locating in your discovering the detecting of a way to save your dolly belle, ol' what's-her-face. Savvy?
Will Turner: This is going to save Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: How much do you know about Davy Jones?
Will Turner: Not much.
Jack Sparrow: Yeah, it's going to save Elizabeth.

Elizabeth Swann: [as Will, Jack, and Norrington fight] Stop it! Will!
Will Turner: Guard the chest!
Elizabeth Swann: [indignantly] No! This is barbaric! This is no way for grown men to settle... oh, fine! Let's just haul out our swords and start banging away at each other! That will solve everything! I've had it! I've had it with wobbly-legged, rum-soaked pirates!
[starts throwing rocks at them]
Elizabeth Swann: Enough! This is madness!
[faking]
Elizabeth Swann: Oh! Oh, the heat!
[pretends to faint, then opens one eye to see that none of them have noticed]

Jack Sparrow: It's funny what a man will do to forestall his final judgment.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: You made a deal with him too, Jack. He raised the Pearl from the depths for you. Thirteen years you've been her captain.
Jack Sparrow: Technically...
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: You won't be able to talk yourself out of this. The terms that apply to me apply to you as well. One soul, bound to crew a hundred years upon his ship.
Jack Sparrow: Yes, but the Flying Dutchmen already has a captain, so there's really...
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Then it's the locker for you! Jones' terrible leviathan will find you, and drag the Pearl back to the depths and you along with it.
Jack Sparrow: Any idea when Jones might release said terrible beastie?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: I've already told you, Jack. Your time is up. He comes now.

Lord Cutler Beckett: No doubt you've discovered that loyalty is no longer the currency of the realm, as your father believes.
Elizabeth Swann: Then what is?
Lord Cutler Beckett: I'm afraid currency is the currency of the realm.
Elizabeth Swann: I expect, then, that we can come to some sort of understanding. I'm here to negotiate.
Lord Cutler Beckett: I'm listening.
[Elizabeth pulls out a gun]
Lord Cutler Beckett: I'm listening intently.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: [after whipping Will] The bosun prides himself on cleaving flesh from bone with every swing!
Will Turner: So I am to believe that what you did was an act of compasion?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Yes...

Jack Sparrow: [after searching the shattered jar of dirt for Davy Jones' heart] Where is it? Where is the thump-thump?

Jack Sparrow: [with his back to Elizabeth, thinking that she is a man] Come to join my crew, lad? Welcome aboard!
Elizabeth Swann: I'm here to find the man I love.
Jack Sparrow: [startled] Deeply flattered, boy, but my first and only love is the sea.
Elizabeth Swann: Meaning William Turner, Captain Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: [turning around] Elizabeth!
[to Gibbs]
Jack Sparrow: Hide the rum.

Gibbs: [in Tortuga signing sailors up] And what makes you think you're worthy to crew the Black Pearl?
Very Old Man: Truth be told, I've never sailed a day in me life. I think I should get out and see the world while I'm still young.
Gibbs: You'll do, make your mark. Next!
Skinny Man: My wife ran off with my dog and I'm drunk for a month and I don't give a ass rat's if I live or die.
Gibbs: Perfect, next!

Jack Sparrow: We are very much alike, you and I, I and you... us.
Elizabeth Swann: Oh. Except for a sense of honor and decency and a moral center. And personal hygiene.
Jack Sparrow: [sniffs his armpit and looks back] Trifles.

Gibbs: Let's put some distance between us and this island and head out to open sea!
Jack Sparrow: Yes to the first, yes to the second, but only insofar as we keep to the shallows as much as possible.
Gibbs: That seems a bit contradictory, Captain.
Jack Sparrow: I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Mr. Gibbs, now where is that monkey, I want to shoot something!

Davy Jones: How do you know of the key?

Davey Jones: They're here. And I cannot set foot on land for near of a decade.
Maccus: You'll trust us to act in your stead.
Davey Jones: I'll trust you to know what awaits you should you fail!

Norrington: Come on, then! Who wants some? Form an orderly line, I'll have you all one by one. Come on, who's first?
Elizabeth Swann: [Grabs bottle from Norrington's hand and smashes it over his head] I just wanted the pleasure of doing that myself!

Elizabeth Swann: Jack, the letters, give them back.
Jack Sparrow: No. Persuade me.
Elizabeth Swann: You do know Will taught me how to handle a sword.
Jack Sparrow: As I said, persuade me.

Jack Sparrow: [holds up jar of dirt] Oi! Fishface! Lose something? Eh? Scungilli!
[falls down stairs, holds up jar again]
Jack Sparrow: Got it! Come to negotiate, eh? Have you, you slimy git? Look what I got.
Jack Sparrow: [sing-song] I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!

Mr. Mercer: The last of our ships is returned.
Lord Cutler Beckett: Is there any news on the chest?
Mr. Mercer: None. But one of the ships did pick up a man adrift at sea.
[drops the Letters of Marque on the desk]
Mr. Mercer: He had these.
[Beckett opens the letter to look at it before looking up at Norrington]
Norrington: I took the liberty of filling in my name.
Lord Cutler Beckett: If you intend to claim these, then you must have something to trade. Do you have the Compass?
Norrington: [shakes his head] Better.
[tosses a bag onto Beckett's desk]
Norrington: The heart of Davey Jones.

Elizabeth Swann: We're not getting out of this.
Norrington: Not with the chest. Into the boat.
[takes chest]
Elizabeth Swann: You're mad.
Norrington: Don't wait for me.
[runs away from the longboat with the chest]
Jack Sparrow: Uh, I say we respect his final wish.

Jack Sparrow: [pulls out sword and threatens Will] Can't let you do that, William. 'Cause if Jones is dead, who's to call his terrible beastie off the hunt, eh? Now, if you please. The key.
Will Turner: [Pulls his sword on Jack] I keep the promises I make, Jack. I intend to free my father. I hope you're here to see it.
Norrington: [Norrington draws his sword, points it at Will] I can't let you do that, either. So sorry.
Jack Sparrow: [to Norrington] I knew you'd warm up to me eventually.
Norrington: [Norrington points his sword at Jack] Lord Beckett desires the contents of that chest. I deliver it, I get my life back.
Jack Sparrow: Ah. The dark side of ambition.
Norrington: Oh, I prefer to see it as the promise of redemption.

Tia Dalma: The Pearl's gone, along with its captain.
Gibbs: And already the world seems a little less bright. He fooled us all, right to the end. But I guess that honest streak finally won out. To Jack Sparrow.
Ragetti: Never another like Captain Jack.
Pintel: He was a gentleman of fortune, he was.
Elizabeth Swann: He was a good man.
Will Turner: If there was anything could be done to bring him back...
Tia Dalma: Would you do it? What would any of you do? Would you said to the ends of the earth and back to fetch back witty Jack, and him precious Pearl?
Gibbs, Ragetti, Pintel: Aye!
Elizabeth Swann: Yes.
Tia Dalma: All right. But if you will brave the weird and haunted shores at world's end, then you will need a captain who knows those waters.
Barbossa: [enters] So tell me, what's become of my ship?

Gibbs: [Tia Dalma just uncovered Jack's Black Spot] The Black Spot!
[he does a strange superstitous dance]
Ragetti: The Black Spot!
Pintel: Black Spot!
[Pintel and Ragetti do the same dance]
Jack Sparrow: My eyesight's as good as ever, just so you know.

Scarlett: Jack Sparrow?
Giselle: Haven't seen him in a month.
Scarlett: When you find him, will you give him a message?
[Slaps Will in the face]

Norrington: [drunk and angry] So am I worthy to serve under Captain Jack Sparrow...
[he draws his pistol and points it at Jack, who is hiding behind a pole]
Norrington: ... or should I just kill you now?
Jack Sparrow: [tries and fails to hide behind his pole] You're hired!
Norrington: Sorry. Old habits and all that.
[smiles and prepares to pull the trigger]

Jack Sparrow: [talking about Jack's debt to Jones] You already have my payment. One soul to serve on your ship is already over there.
Davey Jones: One soul is not equal to another.
Jack Sparrow: Ah-ha! So, we've established my proposal as sound in principle. Now, we're just haggling over price.

Gibbs: [while recruiting in Tortuga] And what's *your* story?
Norrington: My story? It's exactly the same as your story, just one chapter behind. I chased a man across the seven seas. The pursuit cost me my crew... my commission... and my life.
[he swigs some rum]
Gibbs: [a pause, as it dawns on him] ... Commodore?
Norrington: [suddenly angry] No, not anymore, weren't you *listening*?

Crewmember: Me have one arm and a bum leg.
Gibbs: It's the crow's nest for you.

Marty: [after burning off a few of the Kraken's tentacles] Did we kill it?
Gibbs: No... we just made it angry.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Jones's terrible leviathan will find you, and drag the Pearl back to the depths and you along with it!
Jack Sparrow: Any idea when Jones might release said terrible beastie?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: I already told you, Jack. Your time is up.
[he grabs Jack's hand and folds it into a fist, as if handing him something]
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: It comes now, drawn with ravenous hunger to the man what bears the Black Spot.
[Jack unfolds his hand and sees the Black Spot appear on his palm]

Gibbs: [Jack's hat is tossed overboard by the monkey while the Black Pearl is fleeing the Kraken] Jack's hat!
[the crew gathers at the rail]
Gibbs: Clear about!
Jack Sparrow: No, no! Leave it!
[the whole crew stares at him incredulously]
Jack Sparrow: Run!
[he runs away]
Gibbs: [he looks at the crew] Back to yer stations, the lot o' ye!
[he finds Jack hiding underneath the stairs]
Gibbs: Jack?
Jack Sparrow: Shhh.
Gibbs: For the love of Mother and Child, Jack, what's coming after us?
Jack Sparrow: [short pause] Nothing.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Once you've sworn an oath to the Dutchman, there's no leaving it. Not until your debt is paid.
Will Turner: I've sworn no oath.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: [grasps Will's shoulders] Then you must get away.

Jack Sparrow: [to Elizabeth] One word love: curiosity. You long for freedom. You long to do what you want to do because you want it. To act on selfish impulse. You want to see what it's like. One day you won't be able to resist.

Guard: Mr. Swann...
Governor Weatherby Swann: *Governor* Swann, still. Do you think I wear this wig to keep my head warm?

Jack Sparrow: [after being covered in mucus after the Kraken roars at him] Not so bad...
[wipes the slime from his face]
Jack Sparrow: [he looks down and sees his old hat] Oh!
[reaches for his hat and puts it on]
Jack Sparrow: 'Ello, beastie.
[smiles and draws his sword]

Jack Sparrow: So what's your plan, then?
Will Turner: I row over, search the ship until I find your bloody key.
Jack Sparrow: And if there are crewmen?
Will Turner: I cut down anyone in my path.
Jack Sparrow: [turns to Gibbs] I like it. Simple, easy to remember.

Tia Dalma: The compass you bartered from me it cannot lead you to this?
Jack Sparrow: Maybe. Why?
Tia Dalma: Ah, Jack Sparrow does not know what he wants.

Jack Sparrow: No, no! More wood! Big fire! I am chief! Want big fire!

Pintel: You know you can't read.
Ragetti: It's the bible, you get credit for tryin'.

Pintel: Haul loose the mooring line!
Ragetti: He's got me eye! He won't give it back.
Pintel: Well how'd you get it back last time?

Jack Sparrow: Mr. Gibbs.
Gibbs: Captain.
Jack Sparrow: We have a need to travel upriver.
Gibbs: By "need," do you mean a trifling need? Fleeting? As in, say, a passing fancy?
Jack Sparrow: No, a resolute and unyielding need.

Jack Sparrow: [heavily] She's only a ship, mate.

Lord Cutler Beckett: I care not for cursed Aztec gold. My desires are not so provincial. There's more than one chest of value in these waters. So perhaps you may wish to enhance your offer.
Elizabeth Swann: [cocks her gun] Consider in your calculations that you robbed me of my wedding night.

Ragetti: [studies his upside-down Bible intently, then looks up] Well, I say it was Divine Providence what escaped us from jail.
Pintel: And *I* say it was me bein' clever.
[turns to the dog with the keys]
Pintel: Ain't that right, Poochie?
Ragetti: Well, how'd you know it weren't Divine Providence what inspired you to *be* clever?

Hadras: [chuckles evilly] Your bravery is wasted. I shall pry the chest away from your cold... dead... hands.
Norrington: [looks around, then tosses the empty chest into Hadras' hands] Here you go!

Davey Jones: [after watching the Kraken devour Jack] Jack Sparrow... Our debt is settled.

Palifico: The Captain goes down with his ship.

Maccus: Turns out not even Jack Sparrow can best the devil!

Cotton's Parrot: [Squawk] Don't eat me! Don't eat me!
Will Turner: [looks bewildered] I'm not going to eat you!

Jack Sparrow: You mistrust me? Listen, you can mistrust him, trust me.

Gibbs: Where's the Commodore?
Jack Sparrow: He fell behind.
Gibbs: [solemnly] My prayers be with him.
[suddenly brightens]
Gibbs: Best not wallow in our grief!

Elizabeth Swann: Why doesn't your compass work?
Jack Sparrow: ...My compass works fine.

Gibbs: And mark my words, what bodes ill for Jack Sparrow bodes ill for us all.

Lord Cutler Beckett: A marriage interrupted... or fate intervenes?

Captain Bellamy: [to his crew] I want you to search the ship and find her. Oh and, uh, she's probably naked.
[the crew hurries]

Ragetti: He's got me eye.

Norrington: Do excuse me while I kill the man who ruined my life.
Will Turner: Be my guest.
Jack Sparrow: Let us examine that claim for a moment, former Commodore, shall we? Who was it that, at the very moment you had a notorious pirate safely behind bars, saw fit to free said pirate and take your dearly beloved all to hisself, eh? So whose fault is it *really* that you've ended up a rum-pot deckhand what takes orders from pirates?
Norrington: ENOUGH!
[Jack somersaults off roof, Norrington turns to Will]
Norrington: Unfortunately Mr. Turner, he's right!

Jack Sparrow: Have you not met Will Turner? He's noble, heroic - terrific soprano. Worth at least four... maybe three and a half. And did I happen to mention... he's in love? With a girl. Due to be married. Betrothed. Dividing him from her and her from him would only be half as cruel as actually allowing them to be joined in holy matrimony, eh?

Jack Sparrow: Darling, I am truly unhappy to have to tell you this, but through an unfortunate and entirely unforeseeable series of circumstances that had nothing whatsoever to do with me, poor Will has been press-ganged into Davy Jones's crew.

Jack Sparrow: To what do I owe the pleasure of your carbuncle?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: He sent me. Davy Jones.

Davey Jones: Do you fear... death? Do you fear that dark abyss? All your deeds laid bare, all your sins punished?

Ragetti: [balancing a shovel] I could join the circus!

Jack Sparrow: [to Pintel and Ragetti] Guard the boat, mind the tide... don't touch my dirt.

Jack Sparrow: [Jack looks at the sleeping crew] As you were, gents.

Gibbs: ...Commodore?
Norrington: [irritably] No, not anymore, weren't you listening?

Jack Sparrow: How did you get here?
Will Turner: Sea turtles, mate. A pair of them strapped to my feet.
Jack Sparrow: Not so easy, is it?

Elizabeth Swann: Thank you, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: We're not free yet, love.
Elizabeth Swann: You came back. I always knew you were a good man.
[kisses him to distract him, then handcuffs him to the mast]
Elizabeth Swann: It's after you, not the ship. It's not us. This is the only way, don't you see?
[unconvincingly]
Elizabeth Swann: I'm not sorry.
Jack Sparrow: [almost understandingly] Pirate.

Davey Jones: Let them taste the triple guns.
Ogilvey: Aye, Captain.

Maccus: The boy's not here. He must've been claimed by the sea.
Davey Jones: I *am* the sea.

Tia Dalma: You know of Davy Jones? A man of the sea, a great sailor. Until he run afoul of that which vexes all men.
Will Turner: What vexes all men?
Tia Dalma: What indeed.
Gibbs: The sea?
Pintel: Sums?
Ragetti: The dichotomy of good and evil?
Jack Sparrow: A woman.
Tia Dalma: A woman. He fell in love.
Gibbs: No, no, I heard it was the sea he fell in love with.
Tia Dalma: [annoyed] Same story, different versions. And all are true. See, it was a woman as changing and harsh and untamable as the sea. Him never stopped loving her. But the pain it caused was to much to live with, but not enough to cause him to die.
Will Turner: What exactly did he put into the chest?
Tia Dalma: Him heart.
Ragetti: Literally or figuratively?
Pintel: He couldn't literally put his heart in a chest. Could he?
Tia Dalma: It was not worth feeling what small, fleeting joy life brings.

Gibbs: So, we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks?
Jack Sparrow: No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
Gibbs: So, we're setting out to find this key?
Jack Sparrow: Now you're not making any sense at all.

Will Turner: [the crew members are hanging off in two cages near the cliffs and are climbing back up] Come on men! It'll take all of us to crew the Black Pearl!
Leech: [Leech shouts across at him] Actually, you wouldn't need everyone! About six would do!
[pause]
Leech: Oh, dear.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: The die is cast. I bid three twos.

Will Turner: This... is going to save Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: How much do you know about Davey Jones?
Will Turner: Not much.
Jack Sparrow: Yeah, it's gonna save Elizabeth.

Jack Sparrow: Gentlemen, what do keys do?
Leech: Keys... unlock... *things*?

Elizabeth Swann: Oh fine! Let's just haul out our swords and start banging away at each other! That will solve everything!

Gibbs: There's only half a dozen kegs of powder!
Will Turner: Then load the rum!
[long silence; crew stops working]
Gibbs: Aye! The rum too!

Pintel: ...I always heard it said "kray-kin"
Ragetti: What? With a long A?
Pintel: Uh-huh.
Ragetti: Na-na-na-na-no-no no "Krah-ken"'s how it's pronounced in the original Scandinavian, and "Krakken"'s closer to that.
Pintel: Well we ain't original Scandinavians, are we? Kray-kin.
Ragetti: It's a mythological creature, I can calls it what I wants!

Pintel: [watching Norrington, Will and Jack fight whilst Elizabeth is screaming and throwing rocks] How'd this go all screwy?
Ragetti: Well, each wants the chest for hisself, don't 'e? Mr. Norrington, I think, is trying to regain a bit of honor. Old Jack's looking to trade it, save his own skin. And Turner there, I think 'e's trying to settle some unresolved business twixt him and his twice-cursed pirate father.
Pintel: Sad.

[first lines]
Elizabeth Swann: Will! Why is this happening?
Will Turner: I don't know. You look beautiful.
Elizabeth Swann: I think it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.

Jack Sparrow: [to Elizabeth about Will who's knocked out] Leave 'im lie... unless you're planning to use him to hit somethin' with.

Gibbs: [after Jack shoots the monkey] You know that don't do no good.
Jack Sparrow: It does me.

Governor Weatherby Swann: Now, where's that dog with the keys?

Jack Sparrow: My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

Will Turner: If we can outrun her, we can take her. We should turn and fight.
Jack Sparrow: Why fight when you can negotiate?

Davey Jones: Let no joyful voice be heard! Let no man look up at the sky with hope! And let this day be cursed by we who ready to wake... the Kraken!
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: No!

Will Turner: I challenge Davy Jones!

Elizabeth Swann: James Norrington, what has the world done to you?

Elizabeth Swann: It's real!
Norrington: You actually were telling the truth.
Jack Sparrow: I do that quite a lot. Yet people are always surprised.
Will Turner: With good reason.

Tia Dalma: You have a touch of destiny about you, William Turner.
Will Turner: You know me?
Tia Dalma: You want to know me.
Jack Sparrow: There'll be no knowing here! We've come for help and were not leaving without it.
[to Tia]
Jack Sparrow: I thought I knew you...

Cotton's Parrot: [squawk] Walk the plank!
Jack Sparrow: [pulls out gun and points it at the bird] What did the bird say?

[last lines]
Tia Dalma: If you go and brave da weird and haunted shores at world's end, then you will need a captain who knows dose waters.
Barbossa: [Boot steps approach] ... So, tell me, what's become of my ship?

Elizabeth Swann: I've had it! I've had it with wobbly-legged, rum-soaked PIRATES!

Will Turner: Jack...? Jack Sparrow? I can honestly say I'm glad to see you.

Lord Cutler Beckett: Every man has a price he will willingly accept, even for what he hoped never to sell.

Jack Sparrow: No worries! Tia Dalma and I go way back... thick as thieves, nigh inseparable we are... were... have been... before...
Gibbs: I'll watch yer back.
Jack Sparrow: It's me front I'm worried about.
Gibbs: [to Will] Mind the boat.
Will Turner: [to Ragetti] Mind the boat.
Ragetti: [to Pintel] Mind the boat.
Pintel: [to Marty] Mind the boat.
Marty: [to Cotton's parrot] Mind the boat.
Cotton's Parrot: [to Cotton] Mind the boat.
[It flies off, leaving Cotton to pout and sit back down in the boat]

Davey Jones: I wonder, Sparrow, can you live with this? Can you condemn an innocent man, a friend, to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?
Jack Sparrow: [thinks for a second] Yep. I'm good with it.

Jack Sparrow: How are we going?
Gibbs: Including those four? That gives us... four.

Elizabeth Swann: You'll have the chance to do something... something courageous. And when you do, you'll discover something. That you're a good man.

Jack Sparrow: Is this a dream?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: No.
Jack Sparrow: I thought not. If it were, there'd be rum.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: [hands him a bottle of rum]

Davey Jones: You have a debt to pay. You've been captain of the Black Pearl for thirteen years. That was our agreement.
Jack Sparrow: Technically, I was only captain for two years, then I was viciously mutinied upon.
Davey Jones: Then you were a poor captain, but a captain nonetheless! Have you not introduced yourself all these years as "Captain Jack Sparrow"?

Gibbs: Come on, lads! Lift it like a lady's skirt!

Ragetti: Salvaging is saving, in a manner of speaking.
Pintel: There's the truth of it!

Will Turner: And then I intend to return here to marry you.
Elizabeth Swann: Properly?
Will Turner: Eagerly, if you'll still have me.
Elizabeth Swann: If it weren't for these bars, I'd have you already.

Tia Dalma: You know I demand payment.
Jack Sparrow: I brought payment. Look.
[brings out the monkey in a cage, shoots him]
Jack Sparrow: An undead monkey! Top that!
Tia Dalma: [releases the monkey from the cage]
Gibbs: [muttered] No...
[Speaking clearly]
Gibbs: You've no idea how long it took us to catch that.
Tia Dalma: The payment is fair...

Jack Sparrow: You look bloody awful, what are you doing here?
Norrington: You hired me. I can't help it if your standards are lax.
Jack Sparrow: [immaturely] You smell funny.

Davey Jones: Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different?

Gibbs: [as Jack steps onto the ship] Not quite according to plan...
Jack Sparrow: Complications arose, ensued, were overcome.

Jack Sparrow: Savvy?

Lord Cutler Beckett: Perhaps you remember a certain pirate named Jack Sparrow.
Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann: *Captain!*
Elizabeth Swann: *Captain* Jack Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow: Er, Mr. Gibbs...
Gibbs: Aye.
Jack Sparrow: I feel sullied and unusual.

Marty: [Marty picks up the cloth] It's a key!
Jack Sparrow: No! Much more better. It is a *drawing* of a key.

Jack Sparrow: [to Norrington] Still rooting for you, mate!

[repeated line]
Jack Sparrow: Oh bugger.

Jack Sparrow: [empties bottle of rum] Why is the rum always gone?
Jack Sparrow: [stands up and staggers drunkenly] Oh... that's why.

Jack Sparrow: [to cannibals] *Alas*, my children! This is the day you shall always remember as the day that you almost...
[gets splashed by a wave]
Jack Sparrow: ...Captain Jack Sparrow.

Gibbs: Heave! Heave like you're being paid for it!

Will Turner: What about Jack? I won't leave without him!
[Jack runs in followed by hundreds of angry cannibals]
Will Turner: Never mind! Let's go!

Jack Sparrow: My compass is unique.
Norrington: *Unique* here having the meaning of *broken*?
Jack Sparrow: True enough.

Gibbs: [questioning him as he is about to sign the roster] And what makes you think you're good enough to crew the Black Pearl?
Very Old Man: Truth be told, I never sailed a day in me life. I figure I should get out, see the world while I'm still young.

Captain Bellamy: [he sees that the quartermaster and the bursar are arguing over a dress] If you both fancy the dress, you'll just have to share, and wear it one after the other.
Burser: It's not like that, sir. The ship is haunted.

Mr. Mercer: [he has just killed the captain of a ship and is addressing Governor Swann] 'Evening, Gov'nor. Shame, eh?
[holds up letters]
Mr. Mercer: He was carrying these. It's a letter to the king.
[changes tone]
Mr. Mercer: It's from you.

Elizabeth Swann: There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.

Jack Sparrow: [to Elizabeth] You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin.

Jack Sparrow: [describing Will to the cannibal villagers] Lum se se, eunich-y. Snip snip.

Hadras: [his head has come off and he is now shouting directions to the blind body] Anido. Anido! Follow my voice, follow my voice! To the left. No! Other left. Go
[the body rams against a tree]
Hadras: ... No, that's a tree.

Marty: The captain does seem to be acting a bit strange... er.

Wyvern: [telling Will what to do] Open the chest with the key, and stab the heart. No-no-no-no. Don't stab the heart. The Dutchman needs a living heart, or there'll be no captain. And if there's no captain, there's no one to have the key.

Gibbs: Captain, I think the crew, meaning me as well, were expecting something a bit more... shiny. What with the Isle de Muerta going all pear-shaped, reclaimed by the sea and the treasure with it.
Leech: And the Royal Navy chasing us all around the Atlantic.
Marty: And the hurricane.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: It was always in my blood to die at sea, but it was not a fate I ever wanted for you.
Will Turner: It was not a fate you had to choose for yourself, either.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: I could say I did what I had to when I left you to go pirating, but it would taste a lie to say it wasn't what I wanted. You owe me nothing.
Will Turner: They'll know you helped me.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: [laughs cynically] What more can they do to me?
Will Turner: This is a promise. I'll find a way to sever Jones' hold on you, and not rest until my blade pierces his heat. I will not abandon you. I promise.

Burser: Oh, Mother Carey's chickens! What happened?

Jack Sparrow: Gentlemen... what do keys do?
Leech: Keys unlock... things?
Gibbs: And whatever this key unlocks, inside there's something valuable. So we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks!
Jack Sparrow: No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever it is we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
Gibbs: So we're going after this key!
Jack Sparrow: You're not making any sense at all.

Jack Sparrow: Ah! A heading. Set sail in a... uh... a general... that way! direction.

Ragetti: It's the Bible, you get credit for trying!

Governor Weatherby Swann: You have no reason and no authority to arrest this man!
Lord Cutler Beckett: In fact I do. Here is the warrant for the arrest of one William Turner.
Governor Weatherby Swann: ...This warrant is for Elizabeth Swann!
Lord Cutler Beckett: Oh, is it? That's annoying. My mistake, arrest her too.

Will Turner: Lord Beckett, in the category of questions not answered...
Elizabeth Swann: We are under the jurisdiction of the King's Governor of Port Royal, and you *will* tell us what we are charged with!

Marty: Do we have a heading?
Jack Sparrow: Ah! A heading! Set sail in a general...
[points around vaguely]
Jack Sparrow: *That* way direction.

Lord Cutler Beckett: The East India Trading Company has need of your services. We wish for you to act as our agent in a business transaction with our mutual friend Captain Sparrow.
Will Turner: More acquaintance than friend. How do you know him?
Lord Cutler Beckett: We've had dealings in the past. And we've each left out mark on each other.
Will Turner: What mark did he leave on you?
Lord Cutler Beckett: By your efforts, Jack Sparrow was set free. I would like you to go to him and recover a certain property in his position.
Will Turner: Recover? At the point of a sword?
Lord Cutler Beckett: Bargain! You will offer what amounts to a full pardon. Jack will be free. A privateer in the employ of England.
Will Turner: Somehow I doubt Jack will consider employment the same as being free.
Lord Cutler Beckett: Freedom! Jack Sparrow is a dying breed. The world is shrinking. The blank edges of the map filled in. Jack must find his place in the new world or perish.

Governor Weatherby Swann: We must find out own avenue to secure your freedom.
Will Turner: Is that a lack of faith in Jack, or in me?
Governor Weatherby Swann: That you would risk your life to save Sparrow's does not mean that he would do the same for anyone else.

Governor Weatherby Swann: I've arranged passage to England. The captain is a friend of mine.
Elizabeth Swann: No! Will's got to find Jack!
Governor Weatherby Swann: We cannot count on William Turner.
Elizabeth Swann: He's a better man then you give him credit for.
Governor Weatherby Swann: This is no time for innocence! Beckett has offered one pardon only and that is promised to Jack Sparrow. Even if Will succeeds. Do not ask me to endure the sight of my daughter walking to the gallows. Perhaps I can ensure a fair trail for Will if he returns.
Elizabeth Swann: A fair trial ends in a hanging.
Governor Weatherby Swann: Then there is nothing left for you here.

Will Turner: Jack, Elizabeth is in danger!
Jack Sparrow: Have you considered keeping more watchful eye on her? Maybe just lock her up somewhere.

Will Turner: That's the Flying Dutchman? It doesn't look like much.
Jack Sparrow: Neither do you. Do not underestimate.

Davy Jones: Life is cruel! Why should the afterlife be any different?

Crewmember: Five lashes will remind you to stay on 'em!
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: No!
Crewmember: Impeding me in my duties? You'll share the punishment!
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: I'll take it all!
Davy Jones: Will you, now? And what would prompt such an act of charity?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: My son. He's my son.

Norrington: There was a time when I would have given anything for you to look like that while thinking about me.
Elizabeth Swann: I don't know what you mean.
Norrington: I think you do.
Elizabeth Swann: Oh, don't be absurd, I trust him, that's all.

Jack Sparrow: I want my jar of dirt!

Will Turner: Keep a weather eye on the horizon.

В колонках играет - Metallica-One

1. What book(s) are you reading right now? If you're not currently reading anything, what was the last book you read?
2. What kinds of books do you usually read on an airplane (assuming you read when you fly)?
3. What is your all time favorite book, or name a book you periodically re-read in whole or in part?
4. What author/genre/series would you describe as your "guilty pleasure" reading? Why so?

5. What was the last book you read that you really, really disliked, and what did you dislike about it?

Фотографии Sandyrella : Atlanta, Georgia

Have you heard that? There won't be any Golden Globe ceremony cuz of the writers' strike!!! OMG, the next time they can cancel Oscar and that would be awful.

Other news: America's President debates and campanies are on their way! Yeah, this time we gonna a good President...I'm thinking about choose some democrate...

 

After watching traditional Christmas movie Gone with the wind, we decided to get some tickets in Atlanta. Anyway, I will be there about 5 days. Will miss you all!!!

Have a nice holidays! And Happy New Year!!!

В колонках играет - Alanis Morissette-Ironic
Went to see it last night with the boyfriend.

Seriously, GO SEE THIS MOVIE NOW. Do NOT pass go DO NOT collect $200. Holy crap.
Johnny was delicious (and he CAN SING!) but the most important thing and wibble worthy thing?

I will:

• Stop doung stupid kiddish things
• Save up money in form of savings
• Go to gym at least 2 times a week
• Put photos in photo albums
• Stop buying needless things that never would be used
• Buy a new car
• Visit Miami at spring vacation
• Stop writing MSN messages while I'm working
• Stop flirting while I have a bf
• Make better use of time
• Be kinder & help others more
• Have more time for my friends
• Picture more as photography is actually my hobby
• Learn more Russian words or at least buy a dictionary

В колонках играет - REM-Losing my religion

Everybody has its own song. Songs of memories, songs of joy, songs of childhood...We know them by heart, we sing them in the car. We remember them.
Here's my list of songs:

Road song: AC/DC-Highway to hell
Loss song: Nelly Furtado-All good things
War song: Martika-Toy soldiers
Childhood song: Cyndi Lauper-Girls just wanna have fun
Movie song: Celine Dion-All by myself
Shower song: Tom Petty & Heartbreakers-Runnin' down a dream
Ex-boyfriend's song: Sinead O'Connor-Nothing compares 2 U
Money song: Abba-Money money money
Friendship song: Alanis Morissette-Hand in my pocket
Missing you song: Bob Seger-Turn the page
Dirty song: Christina Aguilera ft Redman-Dirty
Rhythm song: Patrick Nuo-Five days
City song: Beth Hart-L.A. song
Dance song: Madonna-Jump
Sad song: Kansas-Dust in the wind; Phil Collins-Another day in paradise
Making love song: Sam Brown-Stop
Striptease song: Bodyrockers-I love the way you move
Move song: Bruce Springsteen-Born to run
Rock song: Alice Cooper-Jingle bell rock
Learning song: Pink Floyd-Another brick in the wall
Love song: Patrick Swayze-She's like the wind; Meatloaf ft Marion Raven-It's all coming back to me now

And what's your fav songs?

В колонках играет - Starship-We built that city

1. Surviving Christmas
2. Bridget Jones's Diary
3. Love Actually
4. How the Grinch stole Christmas
5. Home alone
6. Bad Santa
7. The family man
8. Call me Claus
9. Home for Christmas
10. Noel (2004)
11. Santa Who?
12. The family stone
13. Single Santa Claus seeks Mrs Claus
14. Christmas Carol
15. Santa Baby

В колонках играет - Nickelback - Rockstar

I recommend it to everybody!!! Don't you think it is about us??

Nickelback - Rockstar
 

I'm through with standing in line
To clubs we'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be

(Tell me what you want)

I want a brand new house
On an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
For ten plus me

(So what you need?)

I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet

(Been there, done that)

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine for me

(So how you gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[Chorus:]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
(I'll have the quesadilla, uh huh)
I think I'm gonna dress my ass
With the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
Blow my money for me
(So how you gonna do it?)
I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[Chorus]

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair

And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I'm gonna sing those songs
That offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills from a pez dispenser

I'll get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip sync em every night so I don't get 'em wrong

[Chorus]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
 
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

Here it is

I survived a terrible traffic while driving from Downtown to Santa Monica! I'm marvellous!))

Classic LA pic:

Настроение сейчас - rather busy

I'm sitting in my office (if we could name this room an office). My boss just gave me some ideas and now I should create something! Then draw this something and then give this plan to Jesse March who should find some docs & partners who are interested in that stuff that I'd created!

That's how it works!)