Gonna start a new life Monday. Tired to be sick, frustrated, lost and hurt. I am totally over him and I really mean it this time. I am too much for him. Sometimes it seems that I am too much even for myself. I am so totally different sometimes and I am scaring myself.
I was thinking today. A lot. No man will ever understand a woman, no woman ever understand a man. They look at us, they like us, love us, f.. us, but the thing that I can't except about them is that they don't listen to us, don't hear us at all. The convesation is impossible. They are just looking and thinking their own dirty stuff while u are breaking your heart telling them the story of your life. Come on! And then in 2-3 days they are ascking stuff that U already told them and u feel really miserable at the moment. That's how it is. May be I am not experienced enough, but through my experience I can say that they see us as nannys, fuckable friends or dolls.
We can't understad them, cause they seem to be too stupid and selfish and too perverts. They think about sex every 10 minutes, like there is no anything better in the world. But between these 10 minutes they think about something else, that we don't know and can't guess. Between every 10 minutes they are able to have real feelings, they can even become persons. And we don't see that, because they hide that thoughts. Everything that is outside is their fucking desires.
Why can't we be even? I am so tired of that social games. I am not a good player and I am a rule breaker. Monday I'm gonna live only fo myself like in old good times. Will find a second job, go to the gym, start learning spanish. That's what i want. That's gonna be cool.
I don't fucking care about them anymore, especially about Him