These are actual warnings given on various products:

On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box)- DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.