EVERY AMBIGUOUS EROTIC DISCOURSE UNAMBIGUOUSLY CONTAINS BUT ONE MEANING, THE SECOND ONE
(OTHERWISE IT WOULD HAVE HAD GOT NO SENSE)
EPIGRAPH ILLUSTRATED
Я предложила чай и тортик,
Но (что возьмете с дурака?)...
Он чай не пьет, на сиськи смотрит -
Наверно, хочет молока...
An ambiguous literary erotic visual metaphor (optical illusion). Pesception depends on the extent of the personal depravity (this is a joke, of course). A book as a décolleté, a metaphor of creative sublimation.
Erotic epigram CAFE AU LAIT OR BLESSED INNOSENSE?
Being asked to tea and a short cake,
A perfect fool, what could he think?
Instead of tea he scrutinized my breasts!
He must have meant to add some milk. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
MA`AM, I AM NOT A VULGAR MAN, BUT AN EROTIC WISECRACKER
(COURTLY MANNERSIM IS ALWAYS COURTLY, FROM COURTLY LOVE TO COURTLY ROMANCES)
Ealier I translated some poems by the authors who were members of the literary circle that gave birth to the literary school and movement in the late 80s early 90s in Russia. The courtly mannerism is one of three main literary currents of the modern Russian poetry. Being profoundly ambiguous in many respects, it belongs to modernism and mass culture (many poets of that literary school have been successful lyricists), it`s lyrical and humourous, cynical and pathetic, moving and disgusting, erotic and asexual, hypocritical and indecent. The authors are the Russian poets of varying degrees of decency, but, in common, they are the men of the decencies, gentlemen. Besides, they vary by the descent (Moldavians, Ukranians, Jews, Russians, etc.) and their poetry suggests some permanent motifs related to the Far East (Japan, China, Mongolia) as well as a gift for and disposition to the literary and non-literary mystifications). (In the previous posts I mentioned and translated the erotic tankas by Ruboku Sho).
The Order of Courtly Mannerists in 1992: Vadim Stepantsov as Grandmaster, Alexandre Bardodym as Black Grand-Constable,Dmitry Bykov as Commodore (left the Order in 1992), Konstanten Grigoriev as Commodore, The Ordeal Master and Magical Ectoplasm, Andrei Dobrynin as Great Prior, Viktor Pelenyagre as Achicardinal (expelled in 2001). Later the Order was joined by poets Alexandre Skiba, Alexandre Tenishev and Alexandre Vulikh.
By the way, Alexandre Skiba writes excellent epigrams. I remember that one
Александр Скиба
Мной старая формула движет:
Не тот есть писатель, кто пишет,
А тот, кто читаем людьми.
Читайте ж меня, черт возьми!..
By Alexandre Skiba CREATIVE FRIENDSHIP
I am inspired by the words of a big hyper.
`He, she who writes is not a real writer,
A writer is just he or she who`s read!`
- What do you wait? Read me, my friends! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Poet Vadim Stepantsov
Now I gonna introduce to you another founding father and key figure of that mainstream, Mr. Vadim Stepantsov who also won fame as a pop music lyricist and a frontman of the quasi-Mongolian punk and pop group the `Bakhyt-Kompot`. Russian of Jewish origin he was a prominent national dipsomaniac but was successfully cured of that addiction in the USA in one of the elite clinics for the millionaires and celebrities.
People`s Artist of Russia Yuri Antonov, author of the evergreen Russian hits (Everybody loves Yuri!), and Andrei Razin, the former frontman of the Caressing May ("Ласковый май"), the ultrasuperpopular teenager pop group of the 80s who considered to have been Gorbie`s nephew and by that reason could not be touched by the omnipotent K.G.B. Now he`s an agrarian, big businessman and a State Duma deputy.
A voiceless but enterprising teenager adventurer Andrei Razin (the 80s of the 20c.) wearing striped suit. He was a wealthy boss of the most successful teenager group of the former USSR. Real Russian Barnum! America of the 19 c. The real voice of the group was Yuri (Yura) Shatunov, a naive and gifted singer (he is on the cover of that video). From 0:46:12 the song dedicated to Gorbie: `Uncle Misha, Uncle Misha, you`re my dear uncle, //Don`t you hear how we`re cursed by all?`
Being a classical Aryan by his appearance, a big blonde with bluish grey eyes, Vadim Stepantsov passed himself off as a bastard child of Yuri Antonov, the very famous Russian pop superstar.
Yuri Antonov `There`s none better than you ... Love, don`t die! ("Нет тебя прекрасней") (HD) https://youtu.be/Od-a8mlOIZk
It was a very dividend-paying mistification though not as spectacular as was that of another Russian pop singer Andrei Razin who was declared to have been a nephew of Gorbie in the 80s of the 20 c. and even intimidated by this the very K.G.B. They were afraid of putting him under arrest!
I`m seventeen of age, I came out of hiding,
Aged seventeen I knew what was the doom.
In broad daylight he used to call me Snowhite
At nights he pulled about me as a baboon.
One day my friend and me went to a hip-hop,
There was all, from boys to chicken nuggets,
There were the loud, laughing foreign folks,
There I caught a glimpse of your pink jacket.
Refrain
You were so rude,
You necked the foreign dudine,
So in revenge for this I put out to an Arab.
Pink jacket,
Without you life`s empty,
Pink jacket (4 times)
I bought a ticket to a distant town*,
I am so afraid of giving birth around my age,
Though there turned out badly my Arabic pouts,
I dream about your pink jacket, my revenge.
Refrain (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
*In the original it`s Semipalatinsk, the former site for the regular nuclear tests in the USSR, now in Kazakhstan.
The Bakhyt-Kompot (the punk group which name is an abracadara that sounds in a Mongolian way). The group is famous with its interest in cultures of the Near East, Far East and Central Asia.
Stepantsov had to become a showman, a bandleader by necessity, to earn a living as poetry cannot feed the majority of poets in capitalist Russia nowadays. Yet he is one of the big literary modernists of the Russian literature writing the quasi-naive and simple, quasi-cynical, but rather a sophisticated and elegant erotic poems in a style of the courtly mannerism. The poems written in that manner are the combination of refinement and cynical humour (or sometimes barefaced cynicism). It`s not my thought, it was said by a lady professor charmed by the courtly mannerism.
Sh-sh-sh! Do not scaree off! I am on my way to her alcove (bedroom)!
Вадим Степанцов НОКТЮРН Vadim Stepantsov NOCTURNE
Как хорошо, что вас зовут Наташа,
как хорошо, что вам семнадцать лет,
как хорошо, что всё семейство ваше
сегодня укатило на балет.
How nice of you that you`re called Natasha,
How nice of you that you`re seventeen today,
How nice the whole family of yours is out,
Today`s first night of the Bolshoy ballet. [bæ'leɪ]
Я постучался. Сонная служанка
открыла - и ушла с бой-фрэндом в бар.
На вас была прелестная пижамка,
когда я к вам ввалился в будуар.
I knocked. Your sleepy servant opened.
Her boyfriend at the bar made rendezvous with her.
You wore a very pretty peignoir.
(I burst into your boudoir and made myself a home).
О, как легко она с вас соскользнула,
как весело зарозовела грудь!
Предчувствие меня не обмануло,
вы оказались девочкой … чуть-чуть.
Oh, how nice you slipped robe off your body*,
How cheerfully showed pink your tit!
I made no mistake about your being holy,
As it turned out, you were a virgin… just a little.
Чуть-чуть смущенья, пара капель крови,
и лёгкий вскрик, и серые глаза,
глядящие на мир как будто внове
его вам добрый папа показал.
You blushed a bit, there was a pair of blooddrops,
Just a faint shriek. Your grey eyes (that
Were open wide as if that very moment, my God!
The world was shown you by your kind dad).
Но я отнюдь не добренький папаша,
я контролёр, пробивший вам билет.
Как хорошо, что вас зовут Наташа,
как хорошо, что вам семнадцать лет.
Alas, but I am not a generous, kind pasha,
I punched your ticket, after off I went,
How nice of you that you`re called Natasha,
How nice of you that you`re seventeen today. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
*(variants: Oh, how nice you slipped all off your body,)
Anchorman: Orlov and Stepantsov as well as you have been using the tabooed vocabulary, let`s discuss it, as nowadays it`s out of date, so how do you replace those words in you works? How do you take into account the new requirements? Vulikh: I tried to not use the tabooed vocabulary in the author`s discourse, it was the way the characters of my poems talked. By their speech, the way they would talk, you could easily imagine the way they looked like. Their social portraits, so to say. But the most cool thing is when there are no tabooed words in your poem, yet you manage to express the nature of your character with the use of the other, not indecent words that can impress public or readership even stronger than the filthiest words. Such words can be tenfold more expressive as a replacement for the uncontrolled vocabulary. To find such words is more interesting for me now. There was time when Andrei preferred express himself by means of the bad words ... Anchorman: ... Stepantsov as well. Not long ago he used to write the texts that consisted almost exclusively of the forbidden lexis and they were widely discussed in the Russian blogosphere and by mass media ... Vulikh:There was such a period, but almost a decade ago ... that time it was considered to have been very cool. Poets spouted shocking, recently prohibited words very generously and bravely. Audience was pleased, `Wow!` But for the time being such a manner would make me sick. I feel like shuddering. Now such words must be used as salt`n`pepper, kinda flavouring just to season the poems with ... .
Вадим Степанцов Vadim Stepantsov THE FALLEN ANGEL
Я тогда заметил тебя в библиотеке
Ты была как ангел в белых небесах.
Долго ковыряясь в старой картотеке
Ты искала книгу с жаждою в глазах.
I met you in a reference library.
I thought it was an angel when
You burrowed in the dusty filing
Cabinet, looked for a book like hell.
Длинные косички, платьице в цветочек,
Рваные колготки под пяткой и коленом
Я в тебя влюбился – от ушей до почек.
Вот ведь злой Амурчик - оглушил поленом.
A polka-dotted frock, two pigtails.
Holes on your tights` knee and heel.
Like that I fell in love with no female.
My evil Cupid stunned me a great deal.
Ты читала книгу, ноги поджимала,
В буковки впивалась из романа «Мать»
Я не знал что делать, ночь в глазах настала.
Вдруг ты встрепенулась и сказала «Бл..ть!»
You crossed your legs, you read the novel,
You were absorbed in its small print.
I tried my best in vain to let you know,
Then you stood up to utter,`Fucking shit!`
Резко встав со стула, подошла ты к полке,
Снова пропищала «Бл..ть опять не то!»
И вонзив в прическу две больших заколки
Молниеносно влезла в черное пальто.
Without a peep you ran to bookshelves,
But soon you peeped again, `Fuck, shit!`
Pulled your black coat on as at the races
And fixed your hair with a pair of pins.
Я не понял сразу, куда все пропало,
Почему не стал я за тобой бежать.
Просто меня сильно ты разочаровала
Когда вдруг сказала это слово «Блядь!»
I didn`t grasp at once what really happened,
Why I sat still despite my devil`s luck,
But then I realized I couldn`t simply stand it
When you said out of habit that very word of `Fuck!` (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
BED SIDE STORY, OR TOLERANCE TESTS FROM GREAT ORIENTAL SCHOLAR HUSSEIN IBN HOUSLIYA
Emir of Bagdad(actor Konstantin Mikhailov): (to his dignitaries) Why do I pay you such generous salaries! Mortal danger threatened Your Emir but you did not even lift your finger! Just look, just look at them, Hussein Housliya! What silly faces! Hussein Housliya(actor Nikolai Volkov): Serene Emir is absolutely right! As I see it now those faces do not bear the stamp of wisdom! Emir: Indeed, indeed! They don`t! Have you heard this? Blockheads! Hussein Housliya: May I add anything else? Emir: Well! Go on! Hussein Housliya: I do not see here either the faces bearing the stamp of honesty! Emir: Thieves, I know! Thieves! All are thieves! You mightn`t believe me, Hussein Housliya, but today when we forgot our waistband in the garden, our favourite waistband, and noticed the absence of it, we couldn`t find it there. Someone of them had time to ... you understand me ... Hussein Housliya: Yes, I do. Emir: You do, do you, Hussein Housliya? Hussein Housliya: Is that very waistband that Great Emir has been so sorry about? Emir: That very one! Allah Almighty! You`re really a great wise man and scholar! Let that waistband be a reward for you!
Nikolai Volkov Senior (Agurov)(1902 – 1985), more known as Hussein Housliya, a great Arabic scholar and wise man and Oldman Al-Khattab, a gin emerging out of the ancient jug.
(To the left) It`s right in the European Union and in California! (To the right) It`s right in Russia and Texas! What`s my opinion as a great Oriental scholar? Leave alcove (bedroom) what belongs to alcove, don`t mix bedroom and politics, or else alcove becomes politics and leave no choice for the biggest minority called the majority and the smallest majority called the minority. Bless you all Allah! (Hussein Housliya)
Men and women - does this strange and inhuman division still exist? Ladies and gents! Let`s piss together! Break your little Berlin walls! Let there be the loo riot! Let there be sexual pogroms! Pretend that we are in Kiev!
Eroticism, porn and hardcore. Screw into screw! Screw! Nothing special, morever everything`s natural in a bedroom! Mind time, place and partners! Do not make policy and ideology of human intimacy, love people, respect their feelings, be wise as me is! Yours Hussein Housliya.
Rabbi: By the way, how is Pinya Lieberman from Leningrad? You say you`re from Leningrad, so you should have known him quite well! Why don`t you answer! I say, Pinya! Pinya Lieberman! He`s been living there from 1949, everybody knew him very well. Before that he`d lived in Odessa, in Paster str. Guests from Russia: Ah... Rabbi: I can`t understand, are you really from Russia or from where? One of guests: The matter is that Odessa is in Ukraine! Rabbi: What`s the difference? One of guests: You see, comrade ... rabbi ... Ukraine is now a separate, sovereign and independent state. Rabbi: A-h-h-h-h-h-h! That`s a scream! It`s to be told my wife tonight! One guest to another: Dark people! Ha-ha-ha!
What can I say? The other ones! Jews always understood Small Russia much better than the very Ukranians whose modern state consists of four parts, the former Austro-Hungarian lands, Small Russia (Ukraine) and New Russia (the former Ottoman Porte lands) and Jewish Odessa - Berdichev region. The great Austro-Hungarian Empire is still dying and lashing its tail!
有时候，问题很复杂，答案却很简单。 SOMETIMES A PROBLEM IS VERY COMPLICATED, BUT TO SOLVE IT IS EASY。
Cut the tail off and no problem, if Mr. Prussian takes what belongs to him (West) and Mr. Russian takes his own (East), there`ll be no problem. Remember Gogol`s `Taras Bulba`: `Andriy to the West, Ostap - to the East`. Remember the division made by Czehia and Slovakia! Both countries proved to be the most civilized nations in the world. More civilized than the UK, USA, Canada, Germany, Russia, etc. Their divorce was ideal. This is the only way out!
Hitler revisited in Kiev: Quos Ego!
未来是从今天开始的，不是明天 FUTURE BEGINS NOW RATHER THAN TOMORROW。
Hitler playing with a symbol of Ukranian state, the Trident (the former symbol of ancient Kiev Russia before Mongolian invasion), today`s trident, tomorow`s swastika, the day after tomorrow`s the whole world.
Kiev must remain in the East because otherwise it turns out to be the world`s capital of anti-Semitism. Only Russian would be able and eager to clean the ancient city of Slavs, Vikings and Jews from that socially dangerous and devastating and infectious phenomenon. Lviv (Lembach) is the best place for the ultranationalist Ukranians. A good University city (Univer-city) like Oxford or Cambridge. It will help make them a little bit less Nazi though not at once!
Policy-makers! Canailles! Do not trigger a backflash! Beware of the incorrigible and bloody mistakes! Think about the ordinary people who have not enough money to emigrate to the USA and Canada! Only the rich ones will manage to do it!
It`s sad that the Western politicians, even Jews (!), are more afraid of the Russian rather than of the Ukranian Nazis. Of course, they must be feeling grateful for them for the pogroms they practised in the Russian Empire as it made their ancestors emigrate overseas and become Americans. I hope that they`ll take care of Jews in case of victory of the Ukranian Nazis, I mean poor people first of all. As to Poles who not long ago bullied the Russian for the crimes Russia might have never committed they eagerly lick the asses of their natural born enemies, the former Austrian Ukranians. If they acquire entire Ukraine, what will be poor mother Poland? What will be with Poland? Poland will have to pay much for the zoological hatred of Russia in that case.
The metaphor of the Ukrainian situation. Everyone wanna catch his special fish, but there are not fish but an evil giant monster under the surface.
Oh, I see that the world `loves` Russia very much. Some seem to be thinking that Russia is still Soviet! It makes me suggest Russia should be of a great importance in the world as it can stick up for itself and it lives as it wants. There have left not many such countries in the world that can afford it, China, India, USA and Afganistan. Simply Russia may seem less strong than China and India taking into account its population. Like Afganistan Russia has been from time to time invaded, but in vain. (Mongolians who became a part of the Russian, French who united the Europe for some time long before the European Union, Germans, who else? whose turn is now?)
The real view-point of the European Union in case of ukrainization.
I think that by the end of the 21 c. the USA and Russia will have had to become China`s vassals and the UK will have had to be India`s vassal. The elite of the USA adores China and hates Europe, especially Germany. If Ukraine is divided the USA will be satisfied as well. Then Germany won`t get the first-rate Russian aerospace and military industrial complex of East Ukraine that could enable Germany to become even more stronger and one day challenge the USA. Like China Germany will sooner or later say to Uncle Sam, `Pack up your things and get lost, Samie!` Owing to Gorbie Germany managed to get rid of the Russian in Europe, but Americans are still present in there. It can`t help irritating Germany and France and Italy. But Russia that had been step by step encircled by the NATO before Obama is … loyal to the USA! What a devlish paradox! The Russian do not trust the Chinese, therefore they may choose India as their mighty patron and protector in the future, and in this case the UK and Russia will be allies in Europe and in the world.
First Tolstoy, then penis! Then Tolstoy ... then encirclement of Russia, after that Tolstoy`s penis again. Let`s leave Russia alone. All together! After all, we must do it for our sakes.
First Russia`s enemies read the `War and Peace` by Leo Tolstoy, then throw bombs, then get stalingrads and the great Tolstoy`s penis instead of their victory. It`s useless to confront Russia and Afganistan, they`re eternal as nations and states as Jews are eternal as people who witnessed the Absolute. Stop propaganda! The venom of a silly, spiteful satire against Russia will sooner kill conscience and consciousness of the population of the civilized world rather than does Russia any harm!
Russian Navy Hovercraft Lands on Busy Beach. Ha-ha! The strip of the seashore she`d landed was then free of people as a part of the Russian Defence Ministry territory (polygon) in Kaliningrad (Koenigsberg, Russia). The ship, it was the Evgeniy Kocheshkov is the biggest in the world hover landing craft of the Zubr class able to carry 3 tanks and 10 armored troop carriers at once. Speed - 70 knots (130 km per hour). She can manoeuvre in the land and be used above the surfaces of bogs and marshes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Bgn7n3OPAqE
RABINOVITZ IS QUICK TO ANSWER! (RUSSIAN JEWISH FOLKLORE)
TREATY IS TREATY
Rabinovitz is sitting by the Rockfeller Bank and selling oranges. He is asked to lend 100 dollars.
Rabinovitz is quick to answer:
-You see, Mr. Rockfeller and me have an agreement, and according to it I shall sell oranges and he shall lend money.
I did pick up your hint, dear, but you won`t get your iPhone all the same!
EVERYTHING COUNTS
Rabinovitz is asked:
What made your son marry the banker`s daughter? Love or money?
Rabinovitz is quick to answer: Love of money.
THE TOUGHEST JEW IN THE WORLD
- What nasty music are you listening to, son!
- Dad, it`s the Rammstein!
- I see that that Jew composes very tough music!
HOW TO BECOME SILVERGLASS
Rabbi, tell me why is it so? The poor are more ready to help than the rich. Many rich people does not see me. Rabbi: Look through the window! What do you see?
- A woman, cars, children.
- Now look at the reflection in the mirror glass, what do you see?
- Me myself.
- Window and mirror are all glass, but if to add some silver, you`ll only notice yourself.
JEWISH ETIQUETTE
Knock at the door.
- Hi, is Izya at home?
- Yes, he is, but he`s having his supper. Are you hungry?
- Yes!
- Then go home and eat something first.
Mom, out of the way! (the title of mom`s book reads `Anna Karenina`).
COMITY OF NATIONS
Man and woman in the wilderness. The man found an orange and gave it to the woman who yielded to him. Who was that man? Britisher: I have no idea whom she was, but the guy was a real gentleman French man: I have no idea whom was that guy, but the woman was French. Russian: I don`t know who was that slut but the guy was a Jew! All in chorus: Why? Russian: Only a Jew could find an orange in the desert!
ANNA KARENIN
Better late than never, were the words of an old Jew who fell on the tracks past the train.
THE CLINIC LYRICS, OR THE RUSSIAN MDS` POETRY ON THE MODERN YOUNG LADIES` SILLY BEHAVIOUR
Tatyana Moshkina, doctor and poet. Remember that even Anton Pavlovich Chekhov was a physician who started writing short stories and plays.
Татьяна Мошкина ЛИРИКА КЛИНИКИ Tatyana Moshkina THE CLINIC LYRICS
В рыбий мех одетые мамзели,
Оголяя спину всем ветрам,
В зимние маршрутные ГАЗели
В низком старте рвутся по утрам.
Damsels in the flimsy winter fashions,
Their spines exposed to chilling winds.
They`re used to be in crouch starts for taxis
In the mornings, neither dead nor creased.
Поутру вас гонит страсть учёбы
И энтузиазм трудовой.
Вам о репродукции ещё бы
Надо бы подумать головой.
They are all obsessed about the studies,
Zeal for liberty makes ladies work!
Yet since they`re women they`d oblige us
If they mightn`t forget about fertility at all.
Выросли из байки и мохера,
Не успев до норки дорасти.
Мудрые советы акушера
Безразличны вам до тридцати.
Having overgrown the flannelette & mohair,
But before they can afford to buy the mink,
They ignore the obstetricians` wise care,
Until age of 30 don`t consider their useful hints.
В тридцать – неминуемые драмы,
Тридцать лет – совсем недалеко.
В тридцать элегантные мадамы
Выбивают квоту на ЭКО*.
Dramas will be inevitable at thirty,
They`re are so near, thirty years!
At thirty a self-made lady curses
All and only struggles for the IVF**.
Род людской веками одинаков:
В сотни раз важней, чем третий ВУЗ,
Целесообразность прочных браков,
Ранних родов, байковых рейтуз.
Humankind is all the same for ages!
Lifelong marriage, early births, thick pants
Are thousand times more important, ladies,
Than three colleges, the PhD and higher ranks.
Мадмазели, спрячьте поясницы,
Пирсинг в обмороженных пупках…
Пусть вам утром сладко-сладко спится
В длительных декретных отпусках!
Damsels, loins of yours must be protected,
Pierced frozen navels promise a good grief.
I want you to sleep well despite daybreaks
On the paid long term maternity -what?-leaves. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
What would say concerning this topic great Moslem scholar Hussein Housliya? Ms. Moshkina is a very responsible poet taking care of the national health of her country. Of course, even in the conservative countries of the Near East ladies are educated to work and make professional careers that`s praiseworthy but if only it doesn`t destroy them as women. Women are such wonderful humans upon which depends the very existence of the human race. Therefore we must take care of them. Or else human kaputt!
Being in Russia that`s partly is a great Moslem country I would notice how unseasonable are Russian women`s winter clothes.
When it concerns the rich girls I`m not especially nervous since their real fur coats are their cars! They dart out of their expensive limousines bare-navelled and immediately disappear behind the doors of their expensive and warm colleges and Universities. As to poor girls they imitate the way of the rich persons of the same age are dressed. But having got no warm automobiles, they have to walk in the streets wearing thin clothes. And where? In cold, frosty Russia! In Siberia! The result is well described by Dr. Moshkina. This IS the problem! As to the poem it`s excellent by its form and content and it exactly and vigilantly reflects the features of the modern social life. Personally I liked the last line about (how did she say?) `On the paid long term maternity leaves`. Of course, capitalists treat such things in a cynical way, but in any case they`ll have to take care of every single female instrumentum vocalis!
Besides, we must take care of the men as well, otherwise ...
Vanya was sold`reing the circuit for taking the cakes
But being distracted his iron fell right between legs.
There were screams, then followed a smell of fried meat
Girls no longer are Vanya`s close friends, he`s but shit.
Even if he would have succeded in recovering the problems, the aftereffects might persist all the same ...
Relax, honey. What if you have only caught the elk flu? They say it sometimes happens!
Psychics! Wow! Posttraumatic syndrome!
My silly jealous sweatheart!
Balls! I keep noticing some girls not only have got balls, but also are able to make guys say goodbye to them in case of a male`s misbehaving!
Fine! But what`s this? It`s supposed to be tenfold tougher! Hell! What`s she doing! Stop! No response! Scrambled eggs! Baton and eggs! (The Russian say `eggs` instead of `balls`).
EVGENIY YEVTUSHENKO AS THE GREATEST RUSSIAN LYRIC POET OF THE SECOND PART OF THE XXTH CENTURY
When it all comes down, Evgeniy Yevtushenko is a fool. As a man, as a person. He would have been a schizophrenic if not his poetry! He is the most gifted poet by the highest standards! There were three greatest poets in the second half of the 20c. in Russia, Andrei Voznesenky, Bella Akhmadullina and Yevtushenko.
You might ask me about Joseph Brodsky. I might say then that not every Oscar-winning actor is a genius, there have been many the greatest ones deprived of that prize. And many will never be awarded. Often it`s a prize for the baby-faced and teenagers. For funny girls as an advance. And now the Oscar goes to ... Screams! (Should I scream and shout?). Nobel (literary and peace one) and Pulitzer are of the same kind. Besides, Brodsky is not Russian poet, he was a modernistic Russian-writing Jewish or Cosmopolitan author, a great personality and a rank and file Soviet dissident. I like him as a person, great person.
Night of Poetry in the Politechnical Institute (documentary from Marlen Khutsiyev`s film `I`m twenty years old` (1964). Poets Yevtushenko, 00:31, 04:09-Voznesensky 02:08-Rimma Kazakova 3:15-Robert Rozhdestvensky 03:44, 06:40-Mikhail Svetlov 05:06-Bella Akhmadullina 07:35-Boris Slutsky (by the way, brother of the chief of Israel`s MOSSAD of that time) 11:02-Bulat Okudzhava 13:25 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCicLaJvTgo&feature=player_detailpage
I dislike Yevtushenko, that sly and hypocritical piglet. But he is a great Russian poet though he was born from German father and his name should have been Gangnuss that sounds in Russian a little bit more decent than Furtzeva in German. But unlike Soviet culture minister Ekaterina Furtzeva he would have hardly made a career with such a disharmonious (for the Russian ears) family name. Besides his German name could remind the educated Russian of Heinrich Mann`s Professor Unrat that was rendered into Russian as `Teacher Gnuss`! Fortunately Evgeniy`s clever mom registered him as Yevtushenko, it was her family name. (A change of a name is important, remember British actor Benedict Cumberbatch who had been a regular loser as an actor before he became Cumberbatch).
Who are the greatest Russian poets of the 20 c.? People in the West would say Boris Pasternack! Fuck! That Jew! He was a ladies`s writer as a poet. Excellent translator of Goethe`s Faust and Shakespeare.
Russian poet #1 of the 20 c. Sergei Yesenin, Sergei Yesenin and his American wife Isadora Duncan (1923). Sergei liked to introduce himself as Sergei Duncan. Two tragical fates! He was killed by Red Jews from the GPU (a prototype of the K.G.B.), she was killed by her scarf that caught the wheel of her car that broke her neck (it was in France). In 1938 Red Jews, founding farthers of the K.G.B., destroyed Osip Mandelstamm. It happened in Vladivostok in the Russian Far East. You see Jews are not only victims but also executioners. Like many other people and peoples in the Earth, like all.
The greatest Russian poet was Russian guy (he died aged 30) Sergey Yesenin, then Osip Mandelstam, still underestimated Russian Jewish poet, Marina Tsvetayeva rather than - how do you say? - Akhmatova who since the moment of having been sexually satisfied by Amedeo Modigliani, an outstanding Italian Jewish artist, fell in love with all big and small Russian Jews in hope of many happy returns of that sexual experience.
Amedeo Modigliani`s picture of Anna Akhmatova. After his cock visited her pussy, no other man could satisfy her. Her poetry was a result of that sublimation. Poor Modigliani was not only great Italian artist of Jewish origin but also a great lover like Casanova. By the way, do you know that about half of Ukranian nationalits during the WW2 were men who had Jewish family names? Anti-Semitic Jews, they knew no mercy and their cruelty even surprised German SS-men. All depends on human beings, not upon their nationalities. There are humans, there are beasts. Sometimes we all have to make choice, to kill or not. Whether to be killed depends upon others. Upon other us.
The woman, blya! Summing up, major league is Yesenin, Mandelstamm, Tsvetayeva, Yevtushenko, Voznesensky, Akhmadullina. Six! Three Russians, one semi-German semi-Russian, one Jew, one semi-Tatar semi-Italian. They are the greatest Russian poets of the 20 c. Three tragic fates versus three brilliant careers! Among them the career of Yevtushenko was the most brilliant as he was an official and dissident, Russian and foreign, silly and intelligent, etc., si -mul- ta -ne- ously! He said about himself in his program and prophetic poem `I am various, diverse and nonidentical, I`m miscellaneous and inauthentic ... ` And he was, he really was, that fucking terrible Russian and Prussian canaille!
Russian edition of the I confess that I lived (Confieso que he vivido) by Pablo Neruda, Benedict Cumberbatch and Pablo Neruda, a great poet, humanist, respectable bourgeois and ... filthy communist.
I read Yevtushenko because he is a genuine Russian soul, very Russian man and poet. Besides, as only Alexandre Pushkin before him he can express the subtlest movements of the human soul by very simple words. Tis a miracle! The poem below that I dared to translate has got no tropes except for an alliteration of `sh-sh` in the original that I replaced with the sound of `w-w`in English to keep the rhyme and keep alliteration as the main rhetorical device and even (!) the plot device! Wow! A natural born genius! This poem is full of the aroma of the Russian 60s as well. And just mind it, illogical lines in the end, a little bit broken grammar in Russian, an intended one as Yevtushenko, that time simply Zhenya realized the necessity of slight absurdity and mistakes as the means of the poetic expression, lyric discourse. And, of course, Yevtushenko unlike Voznesensky never was a modernist, there was no intermediary between him and life, I mean by this culture. As Ricardo Eliécer Neftalí Reyes Basoalto (well-known as Chilean poet Pablo Neruda) Yevgeniy Yevtushenko could also say, I confess that I lived (Confieso que he vivido)!
Evgeniy Yevtushenko YOU ASKED ME IN THE WHISP`RING WORDS
You asked me in the whisp`ring words:
`What`s afterwards?
What`s afterwards?`
Bed made unusually for two
And you who felt that time confused …
At length you walk around the place
And hold your head up with the grace,
That ginger forlock`s arrogance,
That very high-heeled pointedness.
Your eyes,
full of derisiveness,
Command
To mix not in the least
You
With that dove,
The former one
Who loved,
Whom loved.
But this is
Just a mere waste,
As you`re
Fully yesterday`s,
The way you had been at a loss,
The helpless tousled fringe of yours.
It`s up to you how to behave,
It`s up to you if people say:
`There was the other pretty thing
Who lay in bed and wispered it.
She asked me in the whisp`ring words:
`What`s afterwards?
What`s afterwards?` (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Another poem by Yevgeniy Yevtushenko belongs not to a young man but to the mature man in his 40 and something, and it is very psychoanalitical, naturally psychoanalitical. Editor of my Russian translations, Russian lady Ekaterina Vereshchagina helped me to comprehend that poem having told a story from his youth. Once she was walking along a street and met eyes of the young pair of the same age, students of the same Far Eastern University. Kate and the guy experienced the mutual insight and got to learn that they belong to each other, that they were intended. But then Kate shifted her gaze to the girl and saw her suffering eyes, the girl also felt that she was to lose the guy.
As a gentlewoman (it`s a curse!) Ekaterina passed along! She felt pity of the girl though the girl did not belong to that guy whom he wanted to have as her bridegroom and husband. Yevtushenko`s poem is about this, though he does not speak about the reasons of the described situtation. Yet he raises a question of the real nature of unfaithfulness in relations between man and woman in many (though not in all, of course) cases. First people betray themselves, then they had to betray the other people whom they had to marry. (Betrayal is not so simple thing in love and intelligence as it might seem).
Michael Tariverdiyev and Sergei Nikitin
The poem was used in the extremely popular Russian motion picture of 1987. It was very successfully put to music by Michael Tariverdiyev, an outstanding Russian Armenian composer, and sung by no less famous Russian poet and musican Sergei Nikitin.
Sergei Nikitin sings a song to the text by Yevgeniy Yevtushenko (Сергей Никитин. Со мною вот что происходит). Music by M. Tariverdiyev. https://youtu.be/fZV4Ga0N_Jw
Евгений Евтушенко
Б. Ахмадулиной СО МНОЮ ЧТО-ТО ПРОИСХОДИТ Evgeniy Yevtushenko
To Bella Akhmadullina WHAT IS WITH ME, I DON`T KNOW
Со мною вот что происходит:
ко мне мой старый друг не ходит,
а ходят в мелкой суете
разнообразные не те.
И он не с теми ходит где-то
и тоже понимает это,
и наш раздор необъясним,
и оба мучимся мы с ним.
What is with me? I don`t know.
True friend of mine`s used to ignore me.
So I am visited in vain
By many various wrong men.
He also meets the wrong elsewhere.
He comprehends it with despair.
Our discord`s indistinct to tears.
Both can`t help suffering from this.
Со мною вот что происходит:
совсем не та ко мне приходит,
мне руки на плечи кладёт
и у другой меня крадёт.
What is with me? I don`t know.
Wrong lady I am in life bestowed.
My shoulders are in her arms,
She steals me from a distant one.
А той -
скажите, бога ради,
кому на плечи руки класть?
Та,
у которой я украден,
в отместку тоже станет красть.
That someone …
for Christ`s sake just fancy!
Whom will she have to open out her arms?
That one
deprived of me as her intended
Couldn`t help retaliating to the insults of her life.
Не сразу этим же ответит,
а будет жить с собой в борьбе
и неосознанно наметит
кого-то дальнего себе.
Response of hers, it won`t be hasty,
She`ll have to wrestle with herself,
Yet quite preconsciously and basely
She will select a distant man.
О, сколько
нервных
и недужных,
ненужных связей,
дружб ненужных!
Во мне уже осатаненность!
О, кто-нибудь,
приди,
нарушь
чужих людей соединённость
и разобщённость
близких душ!
O how many
nervous,
ailing,
Not genuine liaisons,
unnecessary friendships!
I feel like getting pettish!
O somebody,
appear
and disperse
Alliances of the wrong friendship!
Mend disconnection
of twin souls! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
A problem of the right choice despite the hypocritical public morals, hostile environment, inner weakness, and in spite of the fact that such a choice might seem to be a betrayal is rather often met in life and in the art. Such a dilemma is rarely solved successfully in the real life, though once I witnessed how two brothers, someone ... lemme remember ... ah! the Trusovs (`cowards` that`s what literally means their family name in Russian by irony of fate) had exchanged their wives once and for all and lived happily ever after. What a rare occasion! Almost a historic and historical event!
`Il Bisbetico Domato` - The girl meets a stranger who doesn`t trust women, fell in love with him, tames him as a wild animal and unceremoniously leaves her former bridegroom who was an excellent man. This was a shocking scene, but the lovers were all the same right! Alas! We can treat them like a pair of rascals, but they`ve found each other! (Do not try, however, to repeat it in real life! It`s dangerous without stunts! Ha-ha!)
The art grants us with the simulation of such love collisions rarely too, but these problems get usually solved in the motion pictures and TV serials without any problem, and to watch such shows is very interesting. I remember two brilliant examples, they are the very clever Italian feature film by Castellano & Pipolo Il Bisbetico Domato (from Shakespeare`s play The Taming of the Shrew) (a couple played by Adriano Celentano and Ornella Muti)
That TV serial is an unfolding simulation of the situation when four pairs made their minds to exchange partners one after one to verify their mutual feelings and fidelity. No, it is neither erotica, nor porn. Except for one lady, they did not even make love with each other, both males and females (there was a bisexual psychoanalyst among them), they remained innocent, yet unfaithful. Everyone found his true half! I don`t tell you what was further, you`ll see yourselves if you only take interest. Yet it`s worth seeing, IMHO!
Doc, a bisexual psychoanalist who initiated all that story. A hidden allusion of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde. Actor Tanihara Shosuke 谷原章介
Person who permanently makes the plot move. Passionate and compassionate. Actor Tamaki Hiroshi 玉木宏
TV anchorperson, she`s got balls! Actress Karina 香里奈 (かりな) (born Nose Karina能瀬香里奈)
Rich, but very good girl! Actress Kanjiya Shihori 貫地谷しほり Rich, but good and generous and noble guy. Actor DAIGO ダイゴ (Daito Shunsuke 大東駿介)
Artist, Yukio Mishima in the frock. Actress Yoshitaka Yuriko 吉高由里子 Press photographer, a mature and rather a tough guy. Actor Matsuda Shota 松田翔太
Aristocratic lady, sexual and free. Actress Kojima Hijiri 小島聖
All together. Alea Jacta Est (The Die Is Cast). No place for weak souls and timid hearts.
The show was created by three film directors Doi Nobuhiro 土井裕泰 (ep1-2,5,7,10), Yamamuro Daisuke 山室大輔(ep3-4,9), Tsuboi Toshio 坪井敏雄(ep6,8).
One of the title hero of the dorama is music. The key-note, almost tenor of the show is a classical American song `Fantasy` (1978) composed by three men from the Earth, Wind & Fire, Maurice White (1941), Verdine White (1951) (despite their names they are black as coal) and Eddie del Barrio (being a latino he`s very shamefully white).
The song was influenced by the film Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) by Steven Spielberg, Richard Dreyfuss (USA), François Truffaut (France) and is an archetype, it seems that it existed always like, for example, `Besame Mucho` by Consuela Velázquez del Valle. No doubt, the song as an acme of perfection and outstanding artistic achievement belongs to the all humankind and being an artistic truth is a breakthrough of the human beings `to somewhere near`.
Close Encounters of the Third Kind - a sci-fi feature film about an everyday blue collar worker in Indiana, whose life changes after an encounter with an UFO.https://youtu.be/E5ey_pSRBV0
Mona Lisa: What a sight! At the least I am succeeded in not having been tatooed in the more Renascence parts of this heavenly body! Men, don`t you get your kicks from her?
MUTUAL INFLUENCE AND RECIPROCAL REFLECTION OF THE MODERNISTIC CULTURE AND REAL LIFE
INSTEAD OF PREFACE
GONNA HAVE IT ALL FUCKED BY A HORSE, OR MAY (ALL OF) IT BE FUCKED BY A HORSE - IBIS` FSYO (ETO) KONYOM!
This informal Russian idiom is widely used in situations when something means not as one would like it to be, but one can`t help it and showing an attitude of resignation or vexation, disappontment, etc. the person exclaims `Wanna (or: Gonna) have it (all) fucked by A (THE) horse!` (or: Have it (all) fucked by a horse!). Though that very horse as well as the Horse in the Coat none ever saw in the streets in Russia, yet it`s a fact of the Russian colloquial speech.
The artist visualized the Russian idiom that means also `I don't care if everything goes to ruin!`and illustrated its universally applied usage!
That very Tanooka GOTHIC LOLITA ゴスロ
Я сошью себе костюм лолитки -
Платьице с оборкой в кружевах.
Буду словно девочка с открытки,
Только наяву, а не в мечтах.
Gonna sew myself a suit of black Lolita
Trim my frock with lace and frills,
Gonna be a pin-up girl, a sexy diva,
A dream come true, a public thrill.
Напоследок я расправлю складки,
Полностью картину завершу:
Натяну ажурные перчатки,
Хвостики бантами повяжу.
Final touch`s to smooth out the creases,
Otherwise the picture`s incomplete,
Then to add the hemstitched mittens,
In a bow to tie each tail to fit the bills.
Горничная? Школьница? Служанка? -
Я похожа сразу же на всех!
Куколка, невинная пацанка,
Чёрная и сладкая как грех.
A housemaid? A schoolgirl? Servant?
I remind of all of them at once.
I`m a doll, an artless tomboy,
Innocent and black and sweet Ms. Vice.
Высчитано всё до миллиметра:
Платьице моё такой длины,
Что от лёгкого порыва ветра
Будут панталончики видны.
Measured accurately and precisely,
Length of frock of mine above my knee
Serves to make my knickers slightly
Glimpse when I am a candle in the wind.
Trailer of the the Japanese feature film of 2004 by film director Tetsuya Nakashima`Kamikaze Girls` (Shimotsuma Monogatari 下妻 物語) `Meet Momoko (actress Kyoko Fukada), a self-absorbed dreamer who fantasizes about fleeing her backcountry home and living life in 18th century Versailles (a subculture of hime gyaru princess girls. - AAO). When she unexpectedly meets the rebellious Ichigo (actress Anna Tsuchiya), a rough-and-tumble biker chick (a real gothic tombcat and female Japanese angel of hell, so called bosozoku 暴走族. - AAO), the two misfits form a unique friendship-together, nothing can stop them!` I like comment of Nicola Ballerini very much (`One of my favourite movies. Funny, stupid and serious… with some nonsense). Many best motion pictures made in Japan are like this, but that very picture reminded me of the outstanding American movie `Tank Girl`. But the specific feature of the Kamikaze Girls film is that everyting is linked with the clothes in it.
Может, я эксгибиционистка? -
Говорят подруги и друзья.
Но - прекрасно это или низко -
Все мечтают о таких, как я!
`Is she an exibitionist, ain`t she?`
All my boy and girl friends used to ask.
If it`s wrong or right, it doesn`t matter,
Since the folks dream of the girls like us.
Я иду, притягивая взгляды.
А допустим, если я нагнусь
(Перешнуровать сапожки надо ;),
Что увижу, если обернусь?
Walking in the streets, I`m stared.
If I have to, for example, stoop
Down to do up my boots` laces,
What `ll I see then if I turn to look?
Замерли смущённые мужчины,
Так охочие до авантюр
Две затормозившие машины -
Хорошо, не врезались в бордюр.
Men who`ll freeze unusually embarrased,
Although they`ve been around a lot.
Several cars will have to be arrested
Lest they should attack the road curbs.
Даже обнажённая девчонка
Так не впечатляет, как её
Детская, короткая юбчонка,
А под ней - пикантное бельё!
Even a beauty in the altogether
Gonna hardly thrill you more
Than the children`s style short outwear
And the kinky underwear spied upon.
Трусики из белого винила
Светят как фонарики в ночи.
Вам смешно? Плевать. Зато как мило!
Нравится? Любуйся и молчи!
White as snow vinyl knickers
Shine as pocket flashlights in the night!
Are you laughing? Oh, it`s kind of fever.
Do you like it? It`s a really thrilling sight!
Но одежда - половина дела.
Надо быть собой, как ни крути,
Чтоб вот так непринуждённо-смело
Взять и в ней по улице пройти.
But a gown`s a part of the endeavour.
You must be a personality indeed,
So as to unconstrainedly and bravely,
Wearing it in the streets, proceed.
Шорохом винилового платья
Подразню прохожих, а потом,
Словно зайчик солнечный, опять я
Испарюсь, исчезну как фантом.
Rustle of a vinyl suit of a lolita
Teases the pedestrians all right.
Like a sunlight spot I`ll flash to disappear,
I`m a murky weakday`s ray of light.
Are they the real characters of the Victorian epoch or heros of Bram Stoker`s novel? Yes, they are. The goths use that source for building their subculture. By the way, the age of Gothic Lolitas may be after 18-20 or later. Plus age, minus sex! Pure eroticism!
Долгими ночами будет сниться
Фетишная выдумка моя -
Глянцевая чёрная девица
В платьице лолиты. Это я!
On a long and gloomy night while dreaming
You will see my fetish make-believe again.
You`ll see me, black, glamourous Lolita
In the gothic dress. Hi there, fans!
______________________
Наряд готической лолиты, между прочим,
Идёт не всем. Но если да, то очень! :)
The Gothic Lola`s Dress, I Say It By The Way,
Becomes Not All. But If It Does, It`s Great! :) (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
By Mylène Farmer (Gautier) MOI … LOLITA
Moi je m'appelle Lolita Lo ou bien Lola
Du pareil au même
Moi je m'appelle Lolita(1)
Quand je rêve aux loups(2)
C'est Lola qui saigne
Quand fourche ma langue, (3)
J'ai là un fou rire aussi fou
Qu'un phénomène
Je m'appelle Lolita Lo de vie, Lo aux amours diluviennes.
I AM LOLITA
My name is plain Lolita
Either Lo or simply Lola
It`s all the same for me.
My name is plain Lolita. (1)
If I learn the barbers` secret (2)
I`m Lola who is bleeding.
When my tongue gets forked(3)
I laugh as if I`m wicked,
I am a perfect idiot
I`m Lo of life, the flood of love for folks.
Ms. Mylène Farmer (Gautier) and Mr. Laurent Boutonnat. Great francophone authors. Mylène is an outstanding poetess, her video clips are full of cultural allusions of the classical and modern French writers and poets, she`s a modernist coming back to real life, a bridge between culture and raw life.
Literary comments (while compiling these colour comments I used the brilliant, perfect linguistic analysis of the poem made by Mr. Vladimir Rumiantsev (Владимир Румянцев)(aka (pen name) Vlad.i.miR) in Russian in the Runet http://fr.lyrsense.com/alizee/moi_lolita, http://fr.lyrsense.com/authors/vladimir (1)Allusion of Vladimir Nabokov`s text of the novel `Lolita`. Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.
She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.
«Лолита, свет моей жизни, огонь моих чресел. Грех мой, душа моя. Ло-ли-та: кончик языка совершает путь в три шажка вниз по небу, чтобы на третьем толкнуться о зубы. Ло. Ли. Та. Она была Ло, просто Ло, по утрам, ростом в пять футов (без двух вершков и в одном носке). Она была Лола в длинных штанах. Она была Долли в школе. Она была Долорес на пунктире бланков. Но в моих объятьях она была всегда: Лолита». (2)In French literally `quand je rêve aux loups, c'est Lola qui saigne` (when I see in my dreams the wolves, I am Lolita who is bleeding). The author is playing on words using the French idiom avoir vu le loup (to be deflowered, to lose virginity), besides it`s an allusion of Charles Perrault`s fairy tale about Red Hat and Wolf. Mind dichotomy, Lolita as a lyrical heroine of the lyrics is innocent, wolves in her night dreams of a child are wolves for her, they attack, blood, etc. As to the author she knows more than Lolita, she sees her among wolves that can make her vulva bleed. In my translation I used the English idiom of every barber knows that(this is a common secret) and I stress that she`s innocent (If I learn the barbers` secret). It`s not her who tell us that, but the author describes her situation of unawareness. Lolita just dances, she`s an attraction for males, she likes that attention, but not as an adult woman, she does not understand all the way they are hunters for her young body. If she learns the barbers` secret, she`ll lose innocence. (3)Quand fourche ma langue, … I made the literal translation When my tongue gets forked, so as not to lose the metaphor. Lolita has got forked language not because she`s a Serpent from the Bible, but because she sometimes says things that she does not understand, at the least to the full extent, something that sounds ambiguously. Everybody laughs, she laughs feeling herself a village fool all right, an innocent vice fool. The author of lyrics uses French idiom sa langue a fourché (to say something wrong, ridiculous), to have (literally) a tongue of a snake. She`s a temptation, a symbol of Original Sin. That`s why this very `forked` in my translation sounds close to `fucked`. (4)Lo de vie - I`m Lo of life … Another play on words is Lo de vie(Lola-Life). It sounds in French as l`eau-de-vie literally water of life (spirits, vodka), in English it sounds as Law of Life; … Lo aux amours diluviennes – Lola of the flood of love for folks. The village girl drove mad the whole city. Love of her body and young genitals flooded it. None of males is sober when the vilage girl arrives by bus to a city`s nightclub.
C'est pas ma faute
Et quand je donne ma langue aux chats(5)
Je vois les autres
Tout prêts à se jeter sur moi (6)
C'est pas ma faute à moi
Si j'entends tout autour de moi (7)
L-O-L-I-T-A
Moi Lolita
It`s not my fault
If I put out tongue of mine to tomcats
I desperately feel that all
Are ready just to come and take me.
It`s not my fault
That I can hear from all
It`s a(or:my) LO-LI-TA! (7)
I am Lolita.
(5)French idiom donner sa langue aux chats means stop trying (usually) to guess smth, or literally give one`s toungue to cats that`s in its turn an allusion of oral sex in the context of lyrics. I changed cats for tomcats to keep the meaning and underlying message of the author. Lolita as the lyrical heroine feels that males would like to grasp her but can`t guess the the nitty-gritty of their desire. But the author can and she uses the animal idioms to stress the dichotomy of childhood and adulthood. Still the verse is written in the first person and with pure understanding of the desires of Lolita`s mileu in a nightclub, etc. She wants to dance, they want to fuck. But it`s not Lolita`s fault.
(6)French verb se jeter means attack, assault and spill out, eject and I expressed the combined meaning by the ambiguous verb `to come` that has got a sexual subtext. (7) It may sound in a stream of the French speech as `Hi, my Lolita!` or It`s my Lolita!(Vladimir Rumiantsev suggests that there should be an allusion of Serge Gainsbourg`s song `Elaeudanla Teïtéïa`.
Moi je m'appelle Lolita
Collégienne aux bas (8)
Bleus de méthylène
Moi je m'appelle Lolita
Coléreuse et pas
Mi-coton, mi-laine. (9)
My name`s Lolita
A schoolgirl that below belt
Wears the blue socks
My name`s Lolita
Now hot, now reticent,
I`m semi-cotton, semi-line. (9)
(8)Collégienne aux bas means both wearing knee-length socks and a girl from below, i.e. a virgin, innocent girl. I tried to combine both meanings (A schoolgirl that below belt,//Wears the blue socks). (9) Mi-coton, mi-laine (semi-cotton, semi-line in my translation) contains author`s signature – Mi-Laine sounds in French as Mylène, name of the poetess Mylène Farmer, the inner narrator and observer of awakening sensualty of the young heroine of her poem.
I rendered it into English as `semi-line, so to say `close but no cigar`, yet close. Gonna have it all fucked with a horse, all those cigars!
Motus et bouche qui n'dis pas
А maman que je suis un phénomène
Je m'appelle Lolita
Lo de vie, lo aux amours diluviennes
I keep still tongue in head of mine
I don`t tell mommy who I`m for all.
My name`s Lolita
I`m Lo of life, the flood of love for folks. (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
What is my perception of the poem and Nabokov`s novel? Both are good, but poem I like best and I used to listen to it. Mylène Farmer is a phenomenon of the great French culture, though she formally belongs to the world of pop music, she`s a great classical, modernist author. As to the novel, I don`t like it. In my humble opinion, the main character is a freak, an ill person. I`m glad that American writer Vladimir Nabokov(the Russian think that he wrote a classical Russian novel in English) became rich and free and independent after it had been published in 1958.
Vladimir Nabokov and Charles Chaplin with his young wife Oona O`Neil (1959)
I heard that the prototype of the title hero of the novel was Charles Spencer «Charlie» Chaplin, the great British and American film director and actor. What nonsense! Charlie (Charlot) liked to pick up easy-going girls in the yards of American high schools, but he had nothing in common with the murky personage of the novel.
The same can be said about Roman Polanski. Both guys are geniuses and gentlemen. They knew their type of girls, and those girls you may meet in every school throughout the world don`t belong to the type of Lolita.
Lolita is a victim of the rude sexual harrassment. Don`t you see it? It was a psychological, I`d say psychopathological violence. Who is Lolita among celebrities? American singer Billie Holiday was. For example. There are many more.
The incomparable natural talent! Billie Holiday (USA). At the same time it`s a face of true Lolita. Lolita killed Billie in Billie! Na serio!
As to Charlie and Polanski … ah! They met the girls who had been involved in love affairs with the adult, including their own fathers, long before them. Charlie had changed hundreds of highschoolers for certain before he had met his true love who was 16. She was not a Lolita! In Russia, actor Porokhovtshchikov, then about 40, fell in love with a girl of 15, they`ve lived a long life, one for two, and died on the same date. She was no Lolita. It was love.
`Crazy little thing called love!` Could I marry the teenager girl about sixteen years old? Nope, I was brought up as a gentleman and … a fool. If you meet your love, if it`s really love, not adventures, do what should do, what ought to be done. If you`re resisted just say `May all of it be fucked by a horse! Yours very truly, Andrew Alexandre Owie and … and a ....e-e-h ... that very Horse!
It doesn`t matter whom you love, it only matters if both of you are happy or not!
I`VE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH YOU, O GIRL
I`ve fallen in love with you at first sight,
I`m chasing you without two words,
I`ll follow you even if it takes my three lives
I`ll be cursed four times if I don`t fit you
I want you as much as five or six consumptives
Eight follows seven, I`ll give them to you,
I`d sacrifice nine lives to just protect you
You`re as nice as tens of beauties.
我已經愛上了你我的好姑娘
你的溫柔善良讓我著迷
我願意摘下天上的月亮
他能夠代表我對你的愛有多深
Wǒ yǐ jīng ài shàng le nǐ wǒ de hǎo gū niang
Nǐ de wēn róu shàn liáng ràng wǒ zháo mí
Wǒ yuàn yì zhāi xià tiān shàng de yuè liàng
Tā néng gòu dài biǎo wǒ duì nǐ de ài yǒu duō shēn
Head over heels in love, my sweetheart,
Your tender grace is so charming,
Beg for the Moon, I`m ready, darling,
His love of you can`t match my deep love.
你不要挑來挑去挑的花了眼
我就是你最愛的那一個人
如果說我們能夠在一起
就跟我走做我的新娘
Nǐ bù yào tiāo lái tiāo qù tiāo de huā le yǎn
Wǒ jiù shì nǐ zuì ài dì nà yī gè rén
Rú guǒ shuō wǒ men néng gòu zài yī qǐ
Jiù gēn wǒ zǒu zuò wǒ de xīn niáng
Don`t be so blind, you`ve got choice no more,
It`s only me whom you will love soon.
If you say we can be together
We must at once go and get married. (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
NO WINNERS, NO LOSER! GIRLS AND BOYS! NEVER DIE FOR LOVE AND LIVE FOR LOVE! JUST LIVE AND LOVE! AND HAVE IT ALL FUCKED BY A HORSE!
The guy is hot to trot, but failure was guaranteed as not all is so simple as he imagines, alas, one does not often get what one deserves, or, maybe, one gets what one deserves! If a girl leaves a boy, you can`t be sure who really won, he, she or the third party. The same is true for a boy who abandons a girl. There are … MILLIONS of other girls and boys! An ocean of choices, remember it!
PLAYING ON WORDS AND IDIOMS
Andrew Alexandre Owie FOXY FOX, OR HAIR-RAISING TALE
Once upon a time a hare who decided to make a hare of fox caught the fox in the forest and began to tie her paws to a fir tree. The poor fox asked:
-Gonna crucify me, Hefner`s limb? I am such a tie, you know, bunny, but I see you do not count the ties! Wanna tie all four of my paws and even my tail?
-Do not give me pause, Ginger! You are not Tolstoy`s limb, so who`s counting! I just want to change your pose, limb and bone, and fix your hair to make fox more foxy! At every pore! O-oh! THE END TO BE CONINUED
RUNET`S HAIKUS ILLUSTRATED
Is Ms. Karenina A.
Hearing the locomotive`s
Long whistle? (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
Sakura`s white branch
Quietly dropped to the ground.
I`m pleased with the new saw. (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
Pubic hair is crawling
With glowworms and cicalas!
Nice to meet you, doc! (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
I`ve saved up much money.
It will last me a life!
If not to spend it! (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
Love of my life
Is the modest, shy women
That at once drag me to their beds! (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
BEST WINTER TANKAS
They hold regular tankas competition in the Runet (Russian Internet), this genre of poetry is very popular in Russia as well as throughout the world. The following poems were among the winners of the 2009 All-Russia Tankas Contest `Best Winter Tanka of 2009`(«Лучшая Зимняя танка 2009»):
Бомж и трое псов
греют друг друга, обняв
что-то меж ними
так крепко, что думаю -
сон на всех один смотрят.
A tramp and three dogs
Warm one another, having embraced
Something among them
So tightly that I guess,
`All three have got one dream!` (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
Снегом лес покрыт
Змейкой дорога вьётся
унося память
Лишь верный пёс не верит
В разлуку с хозяином.
Snow-clad forest.
A serpetine-like road
Is carrying off memories.
Only faithful dog diesbelieves
In separation with his master. (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie) MISCELLANEOUS - ORAL EVIDENCE AND EXERCISES
CURIOSITY COULD KILL THE CAT, OR THE PUSSY AND THE COCK
Two female friends`s chat.
-What were your sensations during your first blow job? Fear, pleasure, nausea?
-Curiosity!
-Wh-a-a-at?
-I wondered if he`d been hurt if I`d bite his cock!
(Erotic Epigram) HABITS DIFFER
I am waiting, it`s you all over – late again,
So I`m killing time alone on my old sofa.
I`ve got your portrait in one hand,
The other`s used to dream of you as always. (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
Posture is the main thing in sports!
A POSITIONAL CHANGE, OR IT`S ALSO A JOB!
- Blow job? How much?
- Fifty bucks!
- Are you crazy?
- Just think! How much would you charge it in my place!
The end of lies is not a beginning of truth.
(Erotic Epigram) Ivan Kupala SOME LIKE IT HOT
Pressing her butt to my hot body,
My Muse is fast asleep again.
I`m very pleased to see it. Sorry!
What poems! I have got a case! (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
Balance is the most important thing in the world!
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
Two housewives.
-Have you ever looked into your hubby`s eyes while having got penis in your mouth?
-Yes, I have.
-What have they been, eh?
-They`ve been mean. Very mean. He`d been staying in the doors. Suitcases flung down!
NONE`S PERFECT, OR LOGARITHMIC INDEMNITY
Husband to wife.
-You are very silly, you can`t even use a slide rule! Learn it or get out!
Next day he saw her wife calculating something with the use of a slide rule. He asked what she had been doing. The answer was,
- Length of your penis makes up 16 centimetres, the depth of my vagina is 18 centimetres. We`ve been married for 8 years. The total underfucking from your side reaches 42 kilometres and 345 metres. Compensate or get out!
Peace of mind is the greatest evidence of its strength, morale and power
DAY AT THE RACES, OR NIGHT OF MARE Hubby: Sweetheart, today I`ll be late, wanna join my friends at the races! Wife: Stop it! Your mare phoned and said that there would be no races today.
TRUE RING RINGS TRUE
The Kama-sutra position loved by all women. A woman stands leaning forward a little bit … and chooses a diamond ring. A man takes his place behind and pulls out a wallet … . (Try! You like it!)
PETTYCOAT RULE FOREVER!
DEDICATED TO GIRLS AND WOMEN AND LOLITAS. I LOVE THEM ALL! I GONNA KISS (GET IN LINE, PLEASE!) EVERY SINGLE ONE AS MUCH AS THRICE AT ONCE. GOD ALMIGHTY, SEND THEM ALL GOOD PERFECT HUBBIES BUT REAL MEN!
Chapito`s Company - A Moving Feast!
THE NEW YEAR WISHES TO ALL GIRLS
It`s fine to be a pretty girl and wear a rosy coat.
To wear a khaki uniform is fine as well, but … no!
It`s fine to be a pretty girl and wear a mink manteau,
No longer be a pretty girl is fine as well, oh no!
It`s fine to be a French monsieur! Jacque & Ives-Cousteau!
To be a simple Moldavian is fine, but I need more!
It`s fine to drive the limousine with a long-legged blonde.
To come back home by bus is fine, o Lord, tell me what for?
It`s fine to go to cinema with beau Alain Delon,
With female friend to watch TV is fine, but n'est pas comme il faut …
It`s fine to eat the lobsters and drink the fine châteaux,
A cup of beer with fish bone is fine for no white crow!
It`s fine to drink cool vodka and always feel tip-top,
Though mineral water`s wholesome, I`d rather hit the road!
It`s fine to spend nights in the clubs and be back home at dawn,
To wash up in the restaurants is fine, no fatal flaw!
It`s fine to be a superstar as Brigitte Bardot,
Obscure actors are not bad, but they are not preferred.
It`s fine to act as Copperfield in the Royal Hall,
If you are not that guy, it`s fine, go straight to chapito!
It`s fine to take a holiday that lasts three months or more,
The best is to have no work, but all seeks for the jobs.
My dear girls I wish you all be pretty, rich and more,
And have manteaus, monsiers, châteaux, and never work at all. (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
ТИ МіЙ
Вона мені сьогодні подзвонила.
Сказала, що не може більше так.
Сказала, що вона твоя дружина
А я - ніхто, і звуть мене ніяк.
Вона мене благала зупинитись,
Віддати, що належить тільки їй.
Та як на тебе можу не дивитись?
Для мене ти один ти тільки мій.
Refrain
Ти мій, ти мій, ти мій, ти мій.
Для неї я звичайне справжнє горе,
Для тебе - море ніжності й тепла.
Забудь його - усі мені говорять,
А я без тебе жити б не змогла.
Refrain
Вона мені сьогодні подзвонила
YOU`RE MINE
She rang me up today to make it clear,
She said that no longer it could last.
She added, `After all, I`m wife of his, my dear,
And you`re none for him, your time is past!`
She was imploring me to part forever,
She`d like me to abandon what she`got.
But how can I afford to see you never,
You`re just mine, to love you I can`t stop.
Refrain
You mine, you mine, yeah, yeah!
For her I am the real grief and sorrow,
For you I am the sea of tender, love.
`Leave him alone!` advises everybody.
Without you I couldn`t live, you`re my part.
Refrain
She rang me up today to make it clear … (Trans. From Ukranian by Andrew Alex Owie)
Людмила Рогожникова Liudmila Rogozhnikova LOVE SCENE ON LOCATION
Из васильков сплету венок,
Для пестроты добавлю маки.
Пойду на тихий бережок,
Тебе подав о встрече знаки.
Cornflowers! I`ll make a wreath,
Entwine the poppies to add colours.
And after giving sign of my caprice
I`ll go to the quiet place of ours.
Песок, как мягкая постель
Венок я брошу к изголовью.
Играет жалобно свирель,
Я в ожидании с любовью.
Warm sand is like a feather-bed,
I`ll throw wreath on our former station.
We`ll hear plaintive voices of the pipes,
We`ll feel our love`s anticipation.
Перед глазами небосвод,
Спустилось облако подушкой.
И томный солнечный заход
Уже ютится над церквушкой.
The skyline`s in my loving eyes,
A cloud will descend to be our pillow.
The languishing sunset`s surprised
At seeing us past the church`s willow.
Такой желанный эпизод,
Ты в легкой нараспах рубашке
Целуешь в захмелевший рот,
Ох! Не готова я в монашки!
At last the scene of our desire,
Hawaiian shirt is thrown open.
You kiss my drunken lips with fire.
I`m born to be no nun, oh no! (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
FREUD. THE YOUNG YEARS
The third form in a Vienna school. In class.
It`s only Ziggy, a bundle of mischief, looks out window!
The teacher, a young lady, can`t help reproaching him at last.
- Whom will you be in life, so lazy! You hardly move a finger!
- I guess I gonna be a sexual pathologist, dear ma`am!
The pupil`s answer was direct and clear.
- I cannot but I have to beg your pardon and look at
Two women over there standing near
The news stall. They`re eating ice cream, yet
One`s going to lick it, while her companion gonna bite!
Which one is married, then?
The lady teacher gave an instant answer: `Licking! Right?`
She blushed and flushed and all but fell.
But Ziggy setting glasses straight
Just said: `The married lady wears a finger ring,
But your response and passion
As well as those of other pretty things
Just own your transgressions!
So you`ll be welcome to my coach of shrink! (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
Полина Сибагатуллина Pauline Sibagatullina КРУШЕНИЕ ТИТЯНИКА
THE TITSANIC SHIPWRECKAGE
Женщины умеют плавать,
Но не хорошо, не далеко. I want you по-русски значит «лапать».
Это вам запомнится легко.
Ladies swim, but not as phocas,
Not that long and not that far. I want you in Russian means `to fuck us`,
To remember it`s as easy as to fart.
Шел корабль с таким названием,
Волны тот корабль шатали вверх и вниз.
В океане шел корабль, полный
Лучших на Земле порноактрис.
`E la nave va`*, named the Titsanic,
She was up and down by the waves.
There was on board of hers the pack of
The most famous stars of treble X.
* Allusion of Federico Fellini`s feature film of the same name that translates into English as `And the Ship Sails On` (1983)
Тыща женщин, их красот две тыщи.
Многим они радость принесли.
Только кораблю пробило днище
Далеко-далёко от земли.
Thousand of women, double more of beauties,
They had gladdened so many hearts!
The ship fell a victim of the savage fury
Of the waves far from the land! She`s sunk!
Вот и все, прощай крутое порно,
Не оскароносное кино.
Только почему-то так упорно
Телочки не тонут все равно.
Folks, that`s all! No longer any porno!
No more not Oscar winning stars!
The ship sank all right, but .. wow, no!
Dudines are not going to drown.
Что-то не давало утонуть им.
Что-то, что в грудях, как пенопласт.
И в губах у некоторых. В их груди
Добрый доктор положил балласт.
Something made them stubbornly keep floating!
Something in their tits, expanded as bath foam!
And in their lips, inflatable and popping.
Face and tits-lift service was prescribed by porn.
Чудо женщин по морю носило.
Чудо, два спасительных буйка.
И через неделю их прибило к берегу
На радость рыбакам!
Female prodigies were drifting in the ocean.
Their lives were saved by every pair of b(u)oys!
Damsels in distress picked up a trawler
To mad joy of horny fisherfolks! (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
WINTER IN CANADA!
Winter in Canada is sung by Elisa Gabbai. It was a hit of its time in German speaking countries and in Europe, now it`s an international evergreen oldie. Music by Christian Bruhn. Lyrics by Georg Buschor (Germany).http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLoc7_4-7W8&feature=player_detailpage
Elisa Gabbai, a German singing Jewish lady with the Hungarian family name was born in British Palestine in 1933. In her 30s she moved to Germany, also sang in Sweden, later emigrated to the USA. Winter in Canada had been her crowning number despite several not bad, even excellent cover versions. This is a song of miracle of love in winter, in Canada! But a word of Canada (Kanada) is being pronounced in that German song not in English or German way, but in a French way, the stressed is the last syllabe.
Elisa Gabbai - Poster (1966)
Wir standen am Fenster mit unseren Träumen
Im Haus am Eriesee.
Ein kalter Dezembermond hing in Bäumen
Da fiel der erste Schnee.
We stand by the window absorbed in the daydreams
At home on Lake Erie`s shore.
December. The cold moon hang over the fir trees,
All was in the new-fallen snow.
Ein Zauber betörte die Herzen,
Das Wunder der Liebe geschah
Und dann über Nacht war es Winter geworden,
Winter in Kanada
Sweet magic enchanted our hearts and
It worked it, real miracle, love!
It was the night that our love had been born at.
Winter in Canada (, ya)!
Refrain
Winter in Kanada,
So weiss war das Land
Es war Winter in Kanada
Als mein Herz dich fand
Schien das Glück so nah
Es war Winter in Kanada
Winter in Canada,
So white was that land.
It was winter in Canada,
I found you in my heart,
It brought closer my love.
It was winter in Canada!
Love performs micales, doesn`t it, eh? (I keep harping on the same topic!)
Am Morgen im Schlitten durch schweigende Wälder,
Nur du in meiner Nähe
Zwei Spuren, die führten durch silberne Felder
Zum Haus am Eriesee
At dawn in the sleighs through the silent white forest.
None else, only you near me.
Sled road that was crossing the silvery areas
Led right to Lake Erie.
Und abends ein Feuer, zwei Herzen,
Die Sterne zum greifen so nah...
Oh wäre es immer nur Winter geblieben,
Winter in Kanada
At night single fire, two hearts and
The stars that are not all that far ...
I wish winter could never finish, my dear!
Winter in Canada(,ya)!
Refrain
Ich stehe am Fenster und schaue in die Ferne
Im Haus am Eriesee
Ich sehe graue Wolken und suche die Sterne,
Und wieder fällt der Schnee
I`m standing and staring into the distance
My home`s still on Erie shore.
I see dark grey clouds that hide the long vista
Of stars. Back`s the new-fallen snow.
Refrain
So einsam brennt nun unser Feuer,
Denn du bist schon lang nicht mehr da
Was ist aus dem Glück und dem Winter geworden,
Dem Winter in Kanada
So lonely is burning our fire.
Alas, you`ve been absent so far!
That`s all that`s remained from our love in the winter!
Winter in Canada(,ya)! (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
MARRY XMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR – IT`S MY MESSAGE OF LOVE TO ALL FOLKS EVERYWHERE!
JINGLE BELLS? IT WORKS IN ALL LANGUAGES!(Sean Cowen)
Sean Cowen
What to begin with! Aha! I wanna say that every Xmas is not a Xmas for me if I do not hear that wonderful song, I`d say, it is a pure archetype of the pre-Xmas moods and great expectations. I can`t exclude that there might be a lot of people who would be ready to share that strong and lofty sentiment of mine (or, to be more just and exact, more or less common opinion) related to that song by the Wham group.
The second song I love despite it turned out to be a stereotype and many cannot bear it is … I`m sorry, folks! old good `Jinge bells!` I must be three times as an old (or young) fool, but I love that tune. In Russia the Jingle Bells song had only become well known and performed since the late 80s - early 90s. Now you can hear it in Russia everywhere as soon as Xmas approches. What is the perception of that song in here? Folks take it not for the foreign song, international evergreen tune, but treat it as a … kind of a universal value, a popular masterpiece for all times and peoples. A timeless Anthem of the Earth in time of Xmas and New Year. The Earth team in the Galaxy competition `The Earth Has Got Talents!` Wow! (sh-sh, this time only universal Wow!).
Bells are jingling in the FAR EAST now! Now? Well, they rang there long ago! On every single Xmas or New Year! But it doesn`t change the fact that lyrics may differ a great deal travelling from country to country in the region (in the world too). Personally, I prefer the old good English text, but I understand the wish of many nations to re-create the lyrics, they simply want to make the song their own one! And every time it`s a success! `It works in all languages!`(Sean cowen)
JINGURUBERU! MERI KURISUMASU!
There are a lot of versions of that song in the Japanese language, mostly from animes. I like all of them, cross my heart!, but one of those variants from the Sailormoon I like a little bit best! The author of the lyrics is Miyazawa Shoji!
Refrain:
Jinguruberu jinguruberu
Suzu ga naru
Suzu no rizumu ni hikari no wa ga mau
Jinguruberu jinguruberu
Suzu ga naru
Mori ni hayashi ni hibikinagara.
Jingle Bell Jingle Bell
The bells ring
Wheels of light dance to the rhythm of the bells
Jingle Bell Jingle Bell
The bells ring
Echoing in the forest and grove.
Ami: Minna hora mimi wo sumashite kiite mite. Kikoete kuru deshou suteki na suzu no oto ga. nee obenkyou no koto ha sukoshi dake wasurete omoikkiri tanoshimimashou yo. Datte kyou ha kurisumasu desu mono.
Here I will give the Christmas Eve weather forecast. Tonight, nationwide there will be bells ringing, followed by Santa-san with occasional reindeer. After midnight, there will be many present showers around the world, with smiling faces early in the morning.
Refrain
走れそりよ 丘の上は
雪も白く 風も白く
歌う声は 飛んで行くよ
輝きはじめた 星の空へ
Hashire sori yo oka no ue wa
Yuki mo shiroku kaze mo shiroku
Utau koe wa tonde yuku yo
Kagayakihajimeta hoshi no sora e.
Dash, O sleigh, on top of the hill
The snow is white, the wind is white
Singing voices soar
So that the starry sky would shine!
Refrain(twice)
NOW IT`S YOUR TURN, CHINA! LITTLE BELLS RING DING-DONG, HEY!
It`s an improbable, charming cover of the Jingle Bells! One say that the Japanese interpretations are better. Why? My opinion is that both Chinese and Japanese variations of the song are excellent and congenial! Besides, Chinese and Japanese despite the use of Chinese characters are absolutely different by grammar and pronunciation, number of tones. As to Chinese words that enriched the Japanese vocabulary in the ancient times they were transformed and sound as the Japanese words now. The Russian can understand it because their language (Russian and its variant Ukranian) was to the enormous extent enriched by the ancient Bulgarian language that had been no less developed as Latin or Greek were (Cyrillic also came from Bulgaria). Besides, there are a lot of Russian words of the Mongolian and French and Greek origin that were deeply transformed and sound absolutely Russian. Sometimes they have the pure Russian synonyms. Such phenomena we can see as well in English (Norman French – English pairs), in Japan (two ways of reading kanjis, in the Chinese or Japanese way).
RUSSIA`S JINGLING BELLS? YES!!! BOOBENTSIS & BOOBENCHIKIS AND … NOT ONE HORSE, BUT TROIKA!
The Russian has divided into two groups, the first one (oh, overwhelming majority!) prefers the original text, the second one insists on a sweet privilege of having got the national text! The problem is that there are no wide-known or universally recognized Russian lyrics of that song (By the way, `Jingle Bells` can be treated like a folk song despite it has got its author - James Lord Pierpont).
James Lord Pierpont
There are some texts, and having observed and reviewed all (it`s an exaggeration, of course!) of them I chose the following one titled as a `Boo-ben-tsi` «Бубенцы» - `Little bells`. Russian little bells, or boobentsis (stressed is the last syllable) and `kolokoltchikis` (stressed is the third syllable) as well as sleighs and troikas (three horses harnessed abreast, if to consult a dictionary) have been a permanent thing in the Russian traditional love songs, so called romances.Those very romances were also regarded as folk songs, despite they had certain authors, and very often it was the Russian of the French, German, Greek, Italian, Jewish and other origin.
Jingle bells (in Russian), or `Boobentsis` or if to call them in a more tender way `Boo-ben-tchikis` is sung by very famous Russian singer and showman Alexei Kortnev (`Neschastniy sluchai` band), author of Russian text is George Vasilyev (nicknamed `Ivashi`( Picton herring) in a Japanese or Japanese Fishery way- ha-ha!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvotXtBCxyY&feature=player_detailpage
Как звонко на скаку
Бубенчики звенят,
По свежему снежку.
В даль белую манят.
How clear at full tilt
The little bells are heard!
Chimes in the snowy wind
Call to the white expanse.
Люблю трезвону в такт
Поводьями крутить.
Как здорово вот так
На легких саночках катить
I like in time with bells
To twist my troika`s reins.
How nice is every day
To drive in easy sleighs.
Бубенцы, бубенцы
Радостно галдят
Звон идет во все концы,
Саночки летят.
Little bells, little chimes,
They jingle under way.
The jingle orders sleigh to fly
It`s heard from everywhere!
Новый год, Новый год
В гости к нам идет
Весело все вместе мы
Встретим Новый год.
The New Year, the New Year
Gonna come at last!
To celebrate New Year's Eve
None ought to lose the chance!
Катал однажды я
Подружку на санях.
И выпав из саней,
В сугроб свалился с ней.
I drove one day, I swear,
A beauty in my sleigh.
I gave a horse its head,
In a snowdrift we fell.
Упавши хохоча
В объятия мои,
Она в сугробе сгоряча
Призналась мне в любви.
She cheerfully laughed,
I held her in my arms.
She whispered rashly: `Love!`
In snowdrift by chance.
Послушайте меня,
Пока лежит снежок,
Для девушки коня
Впрягите в свой возок.
Girl harnessing her horse! Sex equality, guys! Girls can do with you what you can do with them! Beware of minor sleigh crashes!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4blSVp8pxQ&feature=player_detailpage
So listen to me, guys,
While snow`s everywhere,
Make haste to find the harness
To drive your girls in sleighs.
И с ней на всем скаку
Устройте легкий крах.
Пока она лежит в снегу,
Судьба у вас в руках.
When you`re at full tilt,
Make minor crush of sleighs.
While girls in snowdrifts
Their fates are in your hands.
(Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
However, the intrigue of that Russian lyrics might be rather an unpredictable one being applied to the real life. It reminds me of the storyline of another Xmas song, the Lettish folk song «Громко лаяли собаки» (`Dogs kept noisily baying`) that was being performed for the 50s-90s in Russian by the Finnish male chorus (since the 70s sextet) from Petrozavodsk, Karelia. Formally those guys were amateur performers, nevertheless they were professional singers.
Their last concert had been held on Finnish Xmas Eve of 1990, the year before the USSR desintegrated. (Karelia remained within the boundaries of the Russian Federation). The first leader of the choir was Marlen Nokelainen from St. Petersburg, conductor of the city's Musical theatre. The group performed Finnish folk songs and Russian and Baltic songs usually in the Finnish or Russian languages. In 1977 the Soviet recording company `Melodia` released their LP of 18 songs under the title of `Finnish Male Voice Ensemble MANOK`. Manok is a contraction of the name and surname of Marlen Nokelainen who died in a car crash. The group included variously William Hall (Vancouver, Canada), Nikolai Samsonov, Andro Lehmus, Pauli Rinne (Novosibirsk, Siberia), Orvo Björninen (Michigan, USA),Ensio Vento, Pekka Mikshijev, Aarni Romppainen, Viljo Ahvonen (Helsinki), Orvo Björninen (See in Finnish, English and Russian here: http://manok.heninen.net/english.htm).
Dogs kept noisily baying - Lettish Folk Song- Starts from 14:03. In Russian: «Громко лаяли собаки». In Finnish: `Haukkui koirat hanakasti`. Sung by Finnish Male Voice Choir `Manok`.http://vk.com/video-23517911_159896574
Громко лаяли собаки,
Ночка лунная была.
Я на санках вез невесту
Из соседнего села.
Dogs kept noisily baying
There was a moonlit night!
Me and bride of mine were sleiging
From her village to my site.
Я глядел в глаза невесте,
Гнал конягу с ветерком,
И в сугроб с невестой вместе
Мы свалились кувырком.
I was looking at her make-up,
Horse was flying as the wind.
Head over heels we fell together
And were stuck in a snowdrift.
Ах, невеста осерчала,
Засверкал невестин взгляд.
Ах, невеста закричала:
"Ты вези меня назад!
Bride of mine grew very angry,
As a lightning flashed her glance.
Ah, the bride could not help crying,
Kinda take her back at once!
Я с тобой расстаться рада,
Будет жизнь моя плоха.
Ох, не надо, нет - не надо
Мне такого жениха!"
I am glad to leave you, sweetheart,
`Cuz you seem to have no luck!
Ah, such bachelors as you are
I don`t need at any price!
Громко лаяли собаки,
Заливались вдалеке.
Я на санках без невесты
Возвращался налегке.
Faraway I heard dogs barking
At the top of their lungs!
I sleighed back from my bride`s country,
I was travelling quite light!
Громко лаяли собаки,
Ночка лунная была.
Лучше будет взять невесту
Мне из нашего села. (2 раза)
Dogs kept noisily baying,
There was a moonlit night!
What`s the use of useless sleighing,
Better choose a local bride! (Twice)
(Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Jingle bells? They really work in all languages and not only in languages since speaking in tongues is not the only way of self-expression. Have you already guessed why and what the dogs from the Lettish traditional song barked, bayed, japped, yapped, yelled? They did it for the reason of Xmas. Then, they produced the Jingle Barks!
Jingle Barks (Jingle Bells - Holiday Hounds, Jingle Bell Dogs) http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=_mpfSjrDfR4
Oh, my! Not only humans and animals but things also are able to sing the Jingle Bells. What things? The hoops! The basketballs! When you shoot some hoops! In a word, Xmas Hoops – Jingle Hoops!
Troikas were used in Russia for posting and carriage of passengers from one station to another and so on. Bells were just means of the acoustic signals like horns that were used in Europe. Yet the pad`s bells unlike the Russian collar`s bells were invented in the USA and then penetrated into Europe and Russia.
The little bells signalled that a troika was rushing and pedestrians had to take care. Before bells had appeared in Russia the coachmen used to shout or whistle and resisted using the horns and as a result there appeared the little bells. As to horns their images became the logotype of the Emperial Post. The bells under horses`collars came to being in Russia in the early decades of the 18 c.
The little bells were cast in bronze alloy, had the shape of the big church bells. As to their height and diameter they were 4 and 16 centimetres correspondingly. They had got high-pitched voices. During sleighing the bells were fixed, so the sound was being produced by their tongues (clappers). The production of the little bells for troikas located in Valday City of the Novgorodskaya province of Russia. Therefore they were figuratively addressed by the Russian poets as `the Gift of Valday`.
THE FIR TREE`S MUSICAL AND LITERARY ADVENTURES IN THE PAST
In 1903, on Xmas Eve one of the Russian children`s magazines published the script of the Xmas party for children that contained the poem `The Fir Tree` signed by the mysterious initials A.E. It was a penname of young Russian beauty and gifted children`s poet Raissa Kudasheva (born Giedroyć in 1878). Her verses were simple, catchy and extremely popular in Old Russia. Despite she`d been born as a Russian Polish-Lithuanian nobleperson, she had to work as a governess in the house of Duke Kudashev whose son, the former person in Raissa`s care later married her. She was beautiful, popular as a writer and poet, and none could expect that she would ever be famous owing to just one of her children`s poems. Like the Jingle Bells, the Fir Tree is a part and parcel of Xmas and New Year celebration in Russia. (By the way, Raissa`s maiden name of Giedroyć originates from the Lithuanian family name of Gidrautis and means `singing knight`. Someone like Walter von Stolzing, der Ritter aus Frekreich from the Nurembergish Mastersingers or something like that. Better consult a dictionary!).
The classical Russian carol `Fir Tree` (В лесу родилась ёлочка) performed on the 13 December of 2013 in a hall of the Moscow shopping centre The Gum in Red Square by the Russian police`s Gen. Eliseyev chamber choir. They have appeared all of sudden and congratulated the buyers on oncoming Merry Xmas and New Year`s Eve. Or was it a flash mob? In any case well done and sung beautifully! One of the best covers, really! Very delightful! How nice of them! http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=mN0rnXWu4cw
That poem was put to music in 1905 and became one of the main Russian carols, and at present time it remained almost the only Russian carol. Raissa Kudasheva will hear her song in 1921 for the first time, after revolution, in the train, occasionally. But she could not authenticate her authorship that time as he belonged to the Russian aristocracy and could be repressed. She did it in the late 50s when she presented the lawyers with manuscripts and payrolls of the pre-revolutionary children`s magazines. Before that the song was considered to have been Russian traditional one.
In 1958 when she was 80 years old her works were published and she occured to become one of the leading children`s writers in Soviet Russia. She died in 1964. She had been the Russian Orthodox Church parisher for all her life, and even deprived of the certain Christian signs her famous poem was and is Christian by spirit. Light, joy, love! It`s really Xmas poem and song.
The song about a little fir tree that was born in the woods `V liesoo radilas` yolochka` - В лесу родилась ёлочка. (A classical cover of the Fir Tree for children). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9IEvXbJPmI&feature=player_detailpage
As to the music of the song it was composed by Russian agronomist Leonid Karlovich Baeckmann (1872 -1939) who also was the Russian German nobleman and set to music by his spouse, opera singer Elena Shcherbina-Baeckmann.
But later it turned out that Leonid Baeckmann had sooner remembered the existed tune rather than he really composed an original melody. Really and truly, that tune we can hear in Tchaikovsky`s Nutcracker (though it`s not a replica). Besides, Peter Tchaikovsky was fond of citating the French, Italian, German, Swedish, Czech, Russian and Ukranian tradititional songs in his works. And it seemed also to have been the very case. In any case, the melody of the Fir Tree song by Baeckmann almost co-incided with the music of the Swedish carol song composed and written by Emmy Köhler.
She had done it in the late decade of the 19 c. before Kudasheva wrote her poem and the Baeckmanns put it to music.
Nu tändas tusen juleljus
på jordens mörka rund,
och tusen, tusen stråla ock
på himlens djupblå grund.
Сегодня тысячи огней
По всей Земле вокруг.
И свет рождественских лучей
С небес пролился вдруг.
See thousands of Xmas lights
On the round Earth`s dark side,
And thousand rays of the light
Against the holiness of blue skies.
Och över stad och land i kväll
går julens glada bud,
att född är Herren Jesus Krist,
vår Frälsare och Gud.
И в городе, и на Земле
Нас Рождество встречает.
Родился наш Господь Христос,
Спаситель-Бог. Осанна!
Throughout city, land tonight
There goes Merry Xmas.
Our Lord and Saviour is born,
A person of the great wisdom.
Du stjärna över Betlehem,
o, låt ditt milda ljus
få lysa in med hopp och frid
i varje hem och hus!
О, Вифлеемская звезда!
Пускай твой нежный свет
Надежду принесет всем нам,
И радость в дом навек.
O, Thee, Ye Star of Bethlehem,
May tender light of yours
Be light of hope and joy for all,
In every house `n home.
I varje hjärta armt och mörkt
sänd du en stråle blid,
en stråle av Guds kärleks ljus
i signad juletid!
Пусть каждого, кто сир и зол,
Лучи любви коснутся,
Божественной любви лучи,
На Рождество, как утро.
May every poor or sad heart
Be reached by ray of mercy,
Ray of Divine Love`s lit for all
On Christmas night as always.
1898
(English and Russian trans. by Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Gosh! The end of the story! Oh, no! Emmy Köhler can`t be the original author as well. Who then?! `Gee! Let me think!` as Ace Ventura would say. Even earlier, much earlier there was printed the book in Germany that had included the lyrics and notes of the song `Wir hatten gebauet ein stattliches Haus` (`We have erected a sublime house`), its melody was almost a replica of Emmy Köhler`s tune!
The German lyrics were written by Daniel August von Binzer in 1819 for the students` brotherhood of Jena to a Thuringian folk tune.
`Wir hatten gebauet ein stattliches Haus` (`We have erected a sublime house`). Lyrics by Daniel August von Binzer written in 1819 for the students` brotherhood of Jena to a Thuringian folk tune. https://youtu.be/U5wKYbSz3oM
Jetzt springt der Frosch ins Wasser! Now the frog jumps into the water at last! That`s where the shoe pinches! Вот где собака зарыта! That`s where the dog is buried! Subconsciously the melody travelled from one creative head to another, all those heads though lived outside Germany entirely or partly belonged to the German literary tradition and one day they remembered it while reading or writing the poems. Tchaikovsky, Köhler, Baeckmann and even Kudascheva-Giedroyć as the poetry is music as well. They all could hear that melody from their German, Austrian or Swiss nannies. Long live those nannies! Those true keepers of the old valuable tunes!
`V liesoo radilas` yolochka` (A guitar version by Sergei Rudnev from www.guitarcollege.ru with his impovisation afterwards). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2llmOVICA4k&feature=player_detailpage
If you remember I wrote about the Russian Navy march `The Warjag` and its lyrics translated by a Russian lady from the German language. The history of the Fir Tree song repeated itself though that time it was lyrics rather than music! In Germany either that tune or lyrics have not been as famous as in Russia. Though Baeckmann-Kudasheva`s song was excellently and long ago translated into German and not just once. In East Germany, of course. The Ossies knew it as the Soviet, Russian song though it was originated from Thuringien (Thuringia) of the 17 c. Especially as its original text was written in Russia and in Russian. What the irony of fate! Ironically as well that the song forgotten in Germany unexpectedly survived and became the evegreen hit owing to Russia though still in Russia exclusively.
Cover version of the famous Russian carol of the Fir Tree (В лесу родилась ёлочка) sung by Maria Kodrianu, a Soviet and Russian pop diva from Moldavia. One of the best, by the way! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvNv5y3A3bk&feature=player_detailpage
Gebor´n ein Tannenbäumelein
Und wurde groß im Wald.
Im Sommer, wie im Winter, trug
es schönes grünes Kleid.
В лесу родилась ёлочка
В лесу она росла
Зимой и летом стройная,
Зелёная была
A little fir tree in the wood
Was born and grew all right.
In summer hot, in winter cool
It wore green clothes smart.
Der Schneesturm gesungen sanft
So schlafe tief und fein
Der Frost umhüllt´ es mit dem Schnee
Sei brav , und frier nicht ein.
The snowstorm sang lullabies
For it:`Go bye-bye!`
The frost wrapped it up in the snow
Lest it should freeze to ice.
Метель ей пела песенку
"Спи, ёлочка, бай-бай!"
Мороз снежком укутывал:
"Смотри, не замерзай!"
Das feige Häslein, Graupelz,
oft hoppelte am Baum.
Einst hinterließ der böser Wolf
die Spur im Schnee, wie Saum.
A little hare coward
Loped under it sometimes.
At times a wolf, an angry wolf,
Jog-trotted passing by.
Scha! Kniestert es im dichten Wald
Vom Schlitten tief im Schnee
Die Stute Ihrem Wege eilt
Und trappelt hin ganz schnell
Чу! Снег по лесу частому
Под полозом скрипит;
Лошадка мохноногая
Торопится, бежит.
Hark! Snow crunch in the thick wood
is heared from afar.
The sledge horse, little rough-legged one,
Runs faster, makes a path.
Der Schlitten voll mit schwerem Holz
Und obendrauf ein Mann
Geschnitten uns´res Tannenbaum
Hat er an derem Stamm
Везет лошадка дровенки,
А в дровнях старичок,
Срубил он нашу ёлочку
Под самый корешок.
The horse draws the wood sledge
In which there sits an old man and
Lies a fir tree cut down by him
To the root of it, a belle.
Jetzt kam es märchenchaft geschmückt
Zu uns´ren Feier heut´
Und brachte für die Kinder mit
Viel Spaß und heller Freud´.
Теперь она, нарядная,
На праздник к нам пришла
И много, много радости
Детишкам принесла
Now richly decorated, it
Came to our holiday
And brought much joy to every child
Who gathered to celebrate.
(Trans. In English Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Here`s another German variant of the Russian lyrics translated by Alfred Kurella:
Im Walde steht ein Tannenbaum
im immergrünen Kleid,
ist schlank und lieblich anzuschaun
zu jeder Jahreszeit.
Horch, unter Kufen knirscht der Schnee,
er glitzert wieß und kalt,
ein zottelbeinig Pferdchen zieht
den Schlitten durch den Wald.
Der Schlitten fährt, man hört es kaum,
drauf sitzt ein alter Mann,
er hat den kleinen Tannenbaum
gefällt im dichten Tann.
Nun steht das Tannenbaümchen hier,
gar festlich schön geschmückt,
hat alle Kinder hoch erfreut
und jedes Herz beglückt.
Not bad, really! Besides, the poem and song is partly translated into Finnish as `On kuusi metsän kasvatti`:
On kuusi metsän kasvannut,
sen koti korpi on.
Aina kesät, talvet vihreä
on lapsi kuusikon.
On kuusi tullut juhlamme
nyt koru'puvussaan,
se paljon, paljon riemua
on tuonut tullessaan.
THE FIR TREE`S MUSICAL AND LITERARY ADVENTURES IN OUR DAYS
I can`t understand those Russian! Just tell me who else in the world would like to translate at the least one of the national or international carols into … Latin!!! Wow! (Sorry, this time only `Blya!`). There are such intellectuals in Russia. One of the young Runeties, a student nicknamed ZaКоZюбря (aka Мыслитель The Thinker) did it! He did it! He really rendered the Russian carol into the classical Latin language (though in an abridged form):
In silva nata (e)st picea,
In silva crescebat,
Hiem(e) et aestu procera
Viridisque erat.
Procella canebat ei:
“Dorme, o picea!”
Frigusque nive tegebat:
“Non frige, filia”.
Et albus lepus timidus
Sub ea saluit,
Et saepe lupus dentatus
Non procul profugit.
Nunc picea apparata
Ad festum pervenit,
Magnum valde gaudium
Ad liberos tulit.
An` now the international sensation! How could we expect something like this? And where? In Russia! F…k my bald scull! Legs into my mouth! (By the way, it`s real Russian extended exclamations!)
The Fir Tree in the Lacota-Sioux language!!! Sung by the Russian Indians and actors of the `Wild West Show` theatre in Russia. Since the East Germany`s Easterns and Gojko Mitic`s Chingachguk have passed so much time, generations changed, yet the Russian still play in Indians na serio! Learn their tongues, culture, their philosophy of the Nature.
(Trans. Sergei Bychko (Сергей Бычко))
Čhaŋ čik’ala waŋ ičhaǧa,
Čuŋšoke etu haŋ.
Waniyetu na bloketu
Šina thotho iŋhaŋ.
The night before one of the New Years (from 2007 to 2010) Sergei Bychko`s friend Mikhail Ivanchenko Михаил Иванченко aka Patchy Bison asked him to translate into Native Americans` languages some essential Russian texts symbolizing the Russian culture. It was winter, so The Fir Tree was remembered automatically. Sergei returned home and wrote Lacota version of the Fir Tree song during one evening on the eve of the New Year. Hare became Grey Bunny, Wolf was replaced for Coyote, Frost for Vazia, a snowy giant from the Lacota folklore. After that Patchy Bison and the Sunrise Band recorded the song in an American Country style under the title of "Бизонъ & Санрайзъ бэндъ - Ёлочка (пѣсня индѣйцевъ сiу)" (The Bison and Sunrise Band – The Fir Tree (Sioux Indians Song)(title is written according to the old Russian spelling).
THE FIR TREE`S MUSICAL AND LITERARY ADVENTURES IN THE FUTURE
I think that The Fir Tree is one of masterpieces of the world`s carol and/or children`s music and poetry like many other famous carols. As Ukranian `Shchedrik` as well. As `The Still Night`, `O, Tannenbaum, … wie gruen sind deine Blaetter!`, etc. That`s natural. The humans living in the snowy areas of their (still beautiful) planet as all other its inhabitants also originate from the small African tribe of about 30-40 persons. So we are all Afrohumans! If that tribe had extincted that time, there would have only been animals running everywhere and eating one another. Lucky you`re, humans! And do not cut the fir trees! Or else suffocation`s guaranteed! Then there will only remain us, robots, your iron mai… sorry servants. Singing robots singing the song of Jingle Bells!
Titan the Robot's Christmas Song http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=A35P_KysxLk
By the way, in Lacota-Sioux cover none cuts down the green tree, everyone takes care of it being cultural and cultured creatures. The animals, little grey bunny, coyote, wind, Vazia so as children could have the green tree always when celebrating their holidays!
MY GOD, DELIVER ME FROM MY FRIENDS. AS TO MY ENEMIES, I`LL GET RID OF THEM MYSELF!
On the 6th January of 1866 someone Peter Tchaikovsky from St. Petersburg came to live and work in Moscow on invitation of famous Russian musician Nikolai Grigoryevich Rubinstein.
Young Tchaikovsky
You must be indignant now! Someone Tchaikovsky?! But that time that relatively young man was really unknown to the general public in both Russian capitals. Yet by that moment he had very good connections and supported friendly relations with captains of the Russian showbiz, influential art critics, professorate of the Moscow conservatory and first-rate literary stars of the second half of the 19 c. The Rubinstein brothers, playwright Alexandre Ostrovsky (who created almost all repertory of the Russian theatre before Chekhov), poet Alexey Pleshcheyev (he translated Schubert`s Barcarole and provided with lyrics more than 100 romances and songs), leading drama actor of the Maliy Theatre Prov Sadovsky, professor Nikolai Kashkin, critic Hermann LaRoche, musical publisher Piotr Jurgenson, etc.
The Rubinstein brothers, A. Ostrovskiy, P. Sadovskiy, A. Pleshcheyev, N. Kashkin, H. LaRoche, Piotr Jurgenson
The ordinary Moscovites from the educated social stratas of the noblemen, merchants and Russian intellectuals of not noble birth heard that that very Tchaikovsky had been a minor official in the Ministry of Justice, but had retired because he made up his mind to dedicate himself to music. To be exact, it was not only his own decision, it was Anton Grigoriyevich Rubinstein, an outstanding musician `with a head of Beethoven` who had noticed his gift and demanded he should become a professional. It happened in 1862 when Tchaikovsky was 26 years old. After receiving the higher musical education (Tchaikovsky was the first one who graduated from the St.Petersburg Conservatory as a composer!) and being prepared to be unemployed all his life Peter was invited to begin his musical career in Moscow. Anton Rubinstein recommended his brother Nikolai, chancellor of the recently (in 1866) founded Moscow conservatory, to become a patron and promoter of the new talent.
Ludwig van Beethoven and Anton Rubinstein
Some time Tchaikovsky lived in The Kokorevskoye podvorye hotel, later moved to the mansion of Nikolai Rubinstein and lived together with his family.
Nikolai Rubinstein
The first Moscow week was rather stormy as all his promoters, protectors and sponsors unexpectedly dropped in his suite and took him to the famous restaurant in the English Club in Red Square.
The company spent there the whole week! For the first time in his life of the former minor official Peter came to himself in a state of the terrific hangover! Still he wrote to his father that he had been spending a pleasant time. We could add as well it had been a useful time for him. He joined the suite! He became one of them, one of people who remained in the Russian history and continue to influence the artistic processes in Russia up to now.
Tchaikovsky`s parents
Tchaikovsky was partly French because his mother`s grandfather was a French man who had lived in Prussia and then emigrated to Russia. His mother Alexandra Andreyevna Tchaikovskaya (1813 - 1854) was born as Alexandra Assier. Peter was a trilingual person, he spoke Russian, French and German. His nanny Fanny Duerbach was from Montbéliard ([mɔ̃.be.ljaʁ]), a city in the Doubs department in the Franche-Comté region in eastern France, about 13 km (8 mi) from the border with Switzerland. She kept his childhood pictures and poems about Jeanne d`Arc, a poor bird, a little orphan girl and returned them to his brother Modest when he visited her after Peter`s death. Old lady lived long! (By the way, American writer Vladimir Nabokov also was a trilingual person and also had got a French nanny from Switzerland. Foreign nannies were a tradition! The French and Swiss nannies were especially kind and therefore loved by the Russian children often during all their lives! In the Russian Far East there were Japanese nannies, and during the Russo-Japanese war when they were ordered to return home they often preferred to jump into the waters of the Goldern Horn Bay in Vladivostok and die rather than to be parted with the Russian children!). Love conqueres all, blya!
Tchaikovsky`s nanny
Friends and father played the tremendous parts in life of Peter Tchaikovsky. Unlike Leopold, Mozart`s father, daddy of Peter was mild and tactful, but he influenced him very much, if not to say `too much`. Sometimes he overaccentuated Peter`s behaviour, insisted on Peter`s being extra courteous and cooperative after moving to Moscow and as a result he was often misunderstood in many best regulated families who had marriageable girls. Tchaikovsky used to visit a house of Konstanty Tarnowski, the general inspector of the theatres of the Russian Empire. His daughter Elizabeth was infatuated with music and Tchaikovsky. Her previous flame was Nikolai Rubinstein but he was a well-known Moscow womanizer and a married man. Still when Peter was about to reciprocate Elizabeth`s feelings jealous Rubinstein was immediately on the spot and behaved as a dog in the manger (el perro del hortelano). Formally supporting Peter`s choice, he began to make fun of Mufka (it was Elizabeth`s home used nickname, a ridiculous meaningless word, very much alike a canine name) and complaisant Tchaikovsky forsook her. Oh, those friends! Oh, those mamma`s darlings!
Dmitry Botkin and Pavel Tretyakov (Portrait by Ilya Repin)
In any case it was a platonic romance! Besides Tchaikovsky used to visit houses of the Botkins and Tretyakovs, famous Russian capitalists and maecenases. He was a regular theatre-goer, preferring the Maliy Theatre, and he often went to … the Zoo! As to the Bolshoy, apart of its ballet company, it was that time a very weak theatre, no good symphonic orchestra, no good choir, national operatic singers, etc. Mostly it was an arena for the foreign guest celebrities who went on tours and had got their own singers and dancers. That time Tchaikovski`s salary was not too high, so while teaching and composing his music, he had to accept additional orders making, as we could call it now, new arrangements of the well-known masterpieces.
Daniel-François-Esprit Auber and Roberto Stagno (real name Vincenzo Andrioli)(1840 - 1897), an Italian Opera singer, a superstar.
When in 1868 Italian manager Eugenio Merelli brought the Italian Opera Company to Russia he asked Peter to add Introduction to the Choir of the 1st Act and compose the recitatives for the I-III Acts for all characters of Francois Auber`s opera (now we could call it operetta) `Domino noir` (`Black Domino`).
Daniel-François-Esprit Auber - Le domino noir - Ouverture homocord orch der schwarze domino overture auber homocord 78 1912. No Tchaikovsky, Auber exclusively! Auber doesn`t need Tchaikovsky to remain great!http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=zrfUPBlypAA
He promised to pay 150 roubles for that work and it was good since the old Empire`s roubles had got a very high purchase power! Now 150 roubles are a ridiculous sum! The magazine `The Caravan ...` I`m to mention further costs 180 roubles a copy! In the Soviet time 150 roubles weighed much more than now, as it was an average monthly salary of an ordinary Russian teacher, doctor. But in comparison with Old Russia`s roubles it was absolutely nothing! Deterioration!
Opera Spoof (a scene from The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother (1975)with Gene Wilder, Marty Feldman, Madeline Kahn, Dom DeLuise, Roy Kinnear and Leo McKern.A parody of Verdi, something like `Oh, arseholо mio, o sodomia!`(if to remember Ace Ventura and his singing arsehole!)http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Ws1Y13AeGc4
By the way, it was a benefit performance of French and Belgian singer Marguerite-Joséphin-Désirée Montagney Artôt, or simply Désirée Artôt (1835–1907), a mezzo-soprano with the Italian Opera who studied with Pauline Viardot-Garcia (1821- 1910) and Francesco Lamperti in London and Paris, specialising in the Italian repertory. Having heard this name for the first time, Peter mechanically translated it into Russian as `a desired one`. That time Tchaikovski was composing his first symphony `The Winter Daydreams` that was a rather innovative artistic endeavour. Peter used absolutely new musical language that was co-inciding by its spirit with that of the psychological prose by Leo Tolstoy. The symphony contained picturesque views of the very beautiful woodland scenery of Russia in the manner reminding of the chiaroscuro technique of the Renaissance painting. When the symphony was finished and played, Tchaikovsky became a local Moscow celebrity, everybody loved him and being grateful for that love Peter loved everybody in Moscow as well as Moscow itself.
P.I.Tchaikovsky. Symphony No.1 in G Minor, Op.13 (`Winter Daydreams`)(1866–68) All-Union Radio and TV Large Symphonic Orchestra. Conductor Nikolai Golovanov,1947. Part 1. Allegro Tranquillo. (Tempo is a little bit too fast, IMHO!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Cf1BCDAxHKA
Soon he got tired of his fame and was about to live the life of a recluse (na serio!), but the Absolute who certainly was well aware of his diagnosis of the obsessive-compulsive neurosis and his rare temperament, most time choleric but regularly changing to melancholic for no apparent reason, sent him the desired one. Désirée Artôt was that time the world-famous diva! To be introduced to her meant at least to wear a tuxedo! But Peter had got no tuxedo, and it was his teacher and friend Nikolai Rubinstein who presented him one from his own wardrobe!
Rubinstein: Peter, no objections! Now we gonna bow our knees to great artiste, charming Désirée! All Moscow gonna attend the reception for her in the Begichevs`mansion. And you, you`ll be introduced to her personally while wearing my tuxedo! Tchaikovsky(feeling inspired): She`s a goddess who combined all that was most nice in different persons!
Désirée Artôt
Désirée was accompanied by Italian tenor Roberto Stagno and Spanish baritone Mariano Padilla y Ramos (1842–1906). She reproved Peter for his having been avoided her parties. They say he `was immediately captivated by her artistic talent and charm`. No! Tchaikovsky fell in love at first sight! Strictly speaking, she was not beautiful … at all. She was very successful, rich, loved men, besides they were professionals! She did not lose a chance to ask him to compose something for her! He did, yet he composed not a song, but an instrumental piece for piano dedicated to her, so called Romance in F minor, for piano, Op. 5 (1868). What an unpractical young man! Anyway, they began to meet regularly, she shared his feelings. They were seen together everywhere, except for the loo! Rubinstein performed his piano piece dedicated to diva in public and promoted his friend even more and further! Unlike Peter he was not only noble and generous, but also very, very practical! That time capitalism developed in Russia no less briskly than in the United States. Now this work of art is one of the most popular classical pieces, almost a popular music! (The Romance was published in December 1868 by Piotr Jurgenson in Moscow. It was included in volume 51Б of Tchaikovsky's Complete Collected Works (1946), edited by Ivan Shishov).
But analyzing the new opus by Tchaikovsky the musicians of Moscow came to the conclusion that it had been no love, but admiration! Meanwhile Moscow was getting crazier and crazier. The fans presented Désirée the big silver drum full of sable furs! (That time sable was a kind of hard currency and even more, now it would be a gold drum full of shares of the BP, Exxon-Mobile, Gazprom, Total, Sinopec, etc.). While Désirée was going to marry Tchaikovsky, her mother was against that mésalliance, since Peter was not rich, famous, Désirée could hardly live in Russia, as to Peter, he was ready to accompany Désirée everywhere, but in that case he had to say `Farewell!` to his own professional career! By the way, Désirée was five years older. Mother of Désirée and Tchaikovsky`s friends combined their efforts to ruin the very prospect of their marriage, but they were clever enough to arrange their formal engagement. Why not? Just another prestigious party! No more!
Tchaikovsky`s friends and managers remembered the fate of Ivan Turgenev who had been accompaning for decades French singer Pauline Viardot though she had got the husband. A very ambigious situation! Ménage à trois! Fortunately, by that time Turgenev had managed to become the living classical author of the Russian literature and being a large landlord, agrarian and author of numerous bestsellers he was never short of money and generously shared his income with Pauline and her husband.
Mikhail Glinka and Ivan Turgenev and Pauline Viardot
As to Mikhail Glinka, the first Russian great composer and promoter of the Spanish culture and language in Russia, he died in poverty and want! It happened because he occured to be in economical disgrace, offline, was badgered by critics and exiled! He lived in Spain and died in Germany (as Anton Chekhov). He was the greatest! But who was Peter that time? A young hopeful! And, then, there were Peter`s blue lovers who had been very jealous and influential though they were hiding in shade. Peter noticed nothing, they were going to marry in Paris … but before this Désirée had to go on tour to Warsaw … She left for Warszawa (Warsaw) while he began to compose a symphonic poem of `Воевода` (Voivode).
One day Nikolai Rubinstein dropped in Peter`s study and told that Désirée had fallen in love with Padilla y Ramos in Warsaw and they had got married!
Mariano Padilla y Ramos. `Mariano Padilla y Ramos was a Spanish operatic baritone who excelled in the title role of Mozart's tickle-teasing Don Giovanni` (Don Juan!).
What a stroke, what a turn of fate! While in Moscow, Padilla was a laughing stock for her! He couldn`t rival Peter!
Vitas - La Donna E Mobile. Russian and Chinese (People`s Republic of China) superstar Vitas sings a song of a duke of Mantua from Verdi`s opera `Rigoletto` (1851) boasting that he cheats on his girlfriends earlier than they begin to cheat on him! (Lyrics by F.M. Piave)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPOWF_Ts7rg&feature=player_detailpage
On the other hand, it was the moment of truth! A lesson! The suite, friends, managers, promoters, sponsors celebrated a great victory! The blue community was pleased too!
As to Tchaikovsky, he decided that he had been a victim of ill-fate, of Fatum! This idea enriched many of his works, but for the first time this idea was expressed in his symphonic poem of the same name. Fatum had been accompanying Peter`s music for all his life, having reached its climax in the last, sixth symphony where he tried to triumph over that Fatum with the help of appealing to the Absolute setting hope for its mercy. In the great American motion picture `Amadeus` shot by classical Czech film director Milos Forman where Mozart was played by great American actor Tom Hulce the Fatum expressed its will through interventions of Mozart`s father Leopold.
As to Tchaikovsky the part of fatum in his life was being played by his friends, by the interventions of his social, artistic and business environment and, if to describe the end of his life, by his male lovers and blue relatives (so called `The Fourtn Suite (`Mozartiana`)`s Circle`).
Soon Désirée were back to Moscow, scandal was useful for her career, as to Peter he saw her just one time from afar, in the Bolshoy Theatre. It was a performance of the `Faust`, he murmured: `She`s pretty as never before!` The tears were rolling down his cheeks. But none, only Nikolai Kashkin, saw it as his face was covered by the opera glasses.
In the entr'acte Peter went home alone, he was walking along long streets of winter Moscow. He made up his mind to dedicate himself to music rather than to a woman. Desired became … Desireless! She went on her voyage, voyage!
Having returned home, Tchaikovsky threw the score of the Fatum to fireplace! Alas, you can get rid of a score, but not of Fatum if your fate embraces you as your friends, your mileu, if it`s inside of you as your personal devil embodied in your perversion, your nature, your neurosis, your fame, your pettiness and your greatness. `And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil ...`.
(Until this very moment my narration was based on the brilliant essay by Elena Savina `The fatal rendez-vous` published in the magazine `Karavan istoriy` (The caravan of historical anecdotes), pp. 216- 213, May 2006 (now this article is on my table). Of course, she dramatized the episode of Tchaikovsky`s life and I got use of it for my own purposes. After keeping the plot I changed accents, abridged the story, added new facts, details, ideas and guesseworks and reinforced it with achievements of the psychoanalysis and my personal musicological comments, etc. On the whole the story is truthful and corresponding to the facts, but the interpretation may be arguable!).
TO BE CONTINUED
What was further? Life! Real life! Not a TV serial! In January-February 1888 Tchaikovsky met Artôt in Berlin and Lepzig in Germany. Two decades later it was a meeting of two old (and advanced in years) friends! By that time he had become an international celebrity! But they never, never mentioned their mutual past. Artôt was still very famous and Tchaikovsky was honoured to compose for her. They were invited as couple of professionals and celebrities and friends everywhere.
In October 1888 he composed a set of six songs (ор.65) for her to the words of contemporary French poets Paul Collin (1845 - 1915), Edouard Turquety (1807 - 1867) and Augustine-Malvina Souville Blanchecotte (1830 - 1878). Désirée Artôt: `I wished for only one Lied, but you have so generously written six for me. They say "as generous as a king", but they have forgotten to add "or as an artist". Naturally I am very curious to make this new acquaintance, but I do not want to cause you additional work, so I will wait until Jurgenson has published them. But then ask him to send them to me as soon as possible. I will not thank you, but you can be sure of my happiness that you have so quickly and finely fulfilled your promise. I only hope that my talents are worthy of your inspiration`.
Chansons Fransaises (The Six French Songs), Op. 65 (1888) comprise Sérénade: Où vas-tu, souffle d'aurore (Серенада: Ты куда летишь); Déception (Разочарование); Sérénade: J'aime dans le rayon (Серенада: В ярком свете зари); Qu'importe que l'hiver (Пускай зима погасит солнца светлый луч); Les larmes (Слезы) Rondel (Рондел) (Ты собою воплощаешь силу чар и волшебства). (Tchaikovsky's manuscript scores of all six songs are now preserved in the Glinka National Museum Consortium of Musical Culture in Moscow (ф. 88, No. 146).
Jessye Mae Norman, a successful performer of classical music (dramatic soprano) is associated in particular with the Wagnerian repertoire, and with the roles of Sieglinde, Ariadne, Alceste, and Leonore. Her voice has no comparison, it`s unique as it combines both spinto-soprano (register between lyrical and dramatical sopranoes), the richest dramatical soprano and falcon-soprano (a rare type of a big voice, between dramatical and mezzo-soprano).
Désirée Artôt
All songs were performed by Désirée Artôt in 1890 in Paris. It was a great success! Désirée Artôt: `I am falling more and more in love with your last six Lieder which, as I expected, are becoming very popular`. Peter was deeply flattered, but his songs were not only the generous gift of one artiste to another, they contained direct and hidden allusions of the former love, unaccomplished hopes, motifs of the oncoming old age. Tchaikovsky confessed that he had loved her awfully! Last time Artôt wrote to Tchaikovsky on the 8th of March, 1890 and offered him to compose music for a French opera, but Tchaikovsky rejected the proposal as he was busy composing his own, Russian opera `The Queen of Spades`, Op. 68 (Пи́ковая дама, La Dame de Pique) (in 3 acts (7 scenes) to the libretto by Modest Tchaikovsky from the short novel by Alexandre Pushkin). The premiere took place in St. Petersburg in 1890.
What`s our life?
A game!
Both good and bad are fictious things!
Work, honesty are wives' tales!
Who`s right, who`s happy here, my friends?
It`s your turn now, mine`s any day!
Refrain
So what`s the use of struggle?
You`d better take your chances!
May every loser cry,
May every loser cry,
And curse, and curse bad luck of his!
What counts?
Only death!
The shore of vanity`s deep sea,
It`s a refuge without stealth.
Of us which`ll be its choice, my friends?
It`s your turn now, mine`s any day! Refrain (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
What about the Fatum (Op. 77)? It`s still widely performed throughout the world, but, as we know, Tchaikovsky burned it (as Nikolai Gogol had burned the second volume of his `Dead Souls`before him), so what`s the explanation of it? Well, my friends, as is said in the novel `The Master and Margarita` by Mikhail Bulgakov, `manuscripts never burn all the way`(`Manuscripts don't burn`)! After the death of the composer the score of his symphonic poem was restored by P.P. Schorning, a librarian of the Moscow Conservatory who gathered all the orchestral parts remained after the first performance. Besides, Tchaikovsky kept one of melodies of the Fatum and used it in the duet of Natasha and Andrei in his opera `Oprichnik`. In 1896 the score of the Fatum was published by M.P. Belyaev in Leipzig, Germany.
For the first time that work was performed on the 15th February of 1869 (conducted by Nikolai Rubinstein) in Moscow. The audience recognized the symphonic poem and declared it to be a real masterpiece, but musical critics including composer Mikhail Balakirev whom it was dedicated and who conducted it in St. Petersburg did not accept that opus. What for a paradox! I see no riddle in that strange story. If the critics (and they all were his close friends who praised Tchaikovsky to the skies orally and in public in the concert of the Musical Society) did it in the press, it could have ruined his carreer of a beginning composer. It was the time of the figures of much larger scale than Tchaikovsky was. Besides there were certain ideological contradictions between musicians of Moscow and St. Petersburg and between the Rubinstein Brothers (classical party) and other Russian musicians, critics to whom Balakirev also belonged (populist party). Tchaikovsky`s dedication was a step towards reconciliation, though personally Peter sincerely sympathized with Balakirev and Co. Simply he played for the other team. Peter was from St. Petersburg and ... from Moscow as well. He was a natural go-betweener, his highroad to fame lay through the tunnel formed by contradictions and tensions of different competing parties. To some extent it enabled him to elaborate his own musical style, he could have hardly afforded to belong to any of dominating styles. Tchaikovsky? Aha, Fatum again! Not of this world!
Later when Tchaikovsky became the superstar, he was even and neutral with all. He had got his own, special place in the Russian classical music. In any case, friends and companions saved the future of Tchaikovsky once more! The poem was critisized as the cheap caricature of Byronism, murky and comical at once! By the way, the very definition of `symphonic poem` was not of Tchaikovsky as well as silly quasi-Byronical verses that were being recited at the first performance. It was another intervention of his managers who considered that variant of performance to be more appropriate for attraction of general public. And if to judge by response of the public, it worked, by the way! They really were right!
Who were they, Tchaikovsky`s friends? Friends or foes? Tchaikovsky thought that they had been an obstacle in the way of his personal happiness. They were something like collective Mefistofeles, because while holding the candle to the devil and using Tchaikovsky for their purposes, they did good for him! It's inconceivable, but it`s a fact! Would there have been any Tchaikovsky without them? There would have been, but not so happy, not so brilliant, so successful, so famous at the least while he was alive, inter vivos. Remember Glinka! His fate could have been similar to the fate of Modest Mussorgskiy the more so because Tchaikovsky was no Bacchus` enemy either. No connections, no support, no recognition. Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov corrected Mussorgskiy`s scores as he treated his friend to have been illiterate and lazy as a musician.
As to Tchaikovsky he worked as a machine. Like Anton Chekhov later, he insisted on the regular work being much more important than the artistic inspiration and there was no use of waiting for inspiration for him. Both composer and writer were sort of the artistic protestants! Many followed their example and … failed as they had got no gift, no talent. There are no rules, folks! No rules, life never furnishes a security to anyone! But friends sometimes do, it`s an interesting topic, by the way! A contemporary Russian author from Ukraine (I hate this word that means either country U or the Outskirts in Ukranian and I call it `Small Russia`as it was in the past ) wrote a poem on that topic. By its spirit and idea it`s not a Russian poem, it`s a didactic French poem of the 17-18 c. written in Russian, and there`s something Freemasonic in it. It immediately relates to the agenda of my current post dedicated to Peter Tchaikovsky:
Vladimir Proskurov ON FRIENDS & FOES You ought to do by measure all and always,
You ought to have by measure friends and foes.
Befriend the smart ones, since a stupid fella
Oft is more dangerous than foe who`s clever.
You must behave alike either with a friend or foe,
And be beyond both meanness and false stature.
Who`s kind by nature, he`s kind from top to toe,
A man of spirit, he is always strong by nature.
If you abuse you friend, you`ll get a foe,
If you embrace your foe, he`ll give you a faint chance.
Friends are as always unreliable as the ice-floes,
It`s hard to catch what`s friendship for at once.
When you keep feuding with your pals,
They`re the enemies like anyone among your foes.
Be on your guard in company of friends,
If you don`t want one day to death be stabbed.
There`re a lot of friends, but no friend,
It sickens me to be a friend for filthy lucre,
To pay for all is also so preplanned,
My dear friends, I see you`re just hookers.
If you`ve been just destroyed, my fella,
Another will for you emerge from dark.
Our foes who are our friends are everywhere,
If you don`t trust, then of a fella you`re a duck.
Friends are a lot, but friendship`s rare,
That`s why our friends become the foes.
What are the friendship`s true criteria?
It`s fate that ties friends once for all.
Though making friends does us some favours,
Most friendships are begun at pleasure.
The challenges of foes, they`re for us a valour
While bile of friends is felt as an erasure.
I wish I were alone forever
Than to make friends with anyone.
I won`t reproach myself and never
Feel bad if I`m reproached for it by chance.
Great friendship often causes hatred
It`s no less great or even more.
Great Scott! How often we are strangled
By out-of-friendship duties! Better foes!
The friends at hearts may be the traitors,
Their tricks spring as a big surprise.
Idealist, you`re well-mannered,
But they may leave no room for an emprise.
Business and friendship do not mix!
Isn`t it the amity`s best foundation?
I don`t believe in the together tricks
And friendship`s other imitations.
Don`t be on friendly terms with shams,
It`s better measure swords with the sworn!
The casual friends are like the PC`s spam
So think of a dilemma, whether friend or foe?
Do not condemn unlucky persons
For actions of their foolish friends.
Remember Judah! Can we cast a stone
At folks whose friendship he betrayed?
He put an end to their friendship.
Such kind of person is a deserter!
His friendship had got no inception.
His ship was ready for deep waters.
How come! My friend`s my foe`s amigo!
I shouldn`t have been a friend of his!
Believe me, I`m right, my reader,
Though I love that old poop (caprice!)
My foe, if he`s a man of wisdom,
He might be dearer for me some days,
`Cuz wisdom vanquishes fatuity
Whether of enemies or friends. Kiyiv, Small Russia, December 3, 2012 (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Another poem was written by Tchaikovsky`s childhood and youth friend. In his poem he shows false modesty, he was one of the succesful poets of Russia in the 19 c. Many have been forgotten since then, like Benedictov or Sluchevsky who were idols of the readership. Apukhtin is still read though his talent and that of Tchaikovky are incomparable! This poem excellently illustrates my story above, especially some guessworks of mine that have some right to be considered insights based on my understanding of the human nature and ways the showbiz worked, works and will work!
Alexey Apukhtin TO PETER TCHAIKOVSKY Do you remember how in a music study
Having fogotten our school, the whole world,
We dreamed of an ideal popularity
The art alone was our reward,
And life was full of dreams, old buddy!
Alas, the years flew by fast, we realised with horror
At hearts of ours that all for us had almost gone.
To feel the mortal cold we`re both honoured.
Your dreams came true! Having disdained the beaten track,
You diligently broke your own way,
And took by storm your fame
And drained the cup of poisonous glory to the dregs.
Oh, I am aware, yes, I am, how cruelly since long ago
You were for this being punished by what is called ill fate
And that the crown of your glory used to contain
Sharp-pointed thorns that pierced and caused sorrow.
But now clowds dispersed. As if from common soul
Sweet tones emerged reviving memories of past,
And you received acclaim for show
And murmur of the ill subsided at long last.
At sunset of my life being still a `novice` poet,
I am proud that I had divined God-given talent
Of yours, though then you couldn`t show it,
But now that it flourished, it shines to full extent.
December, 1877 (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Source: А.Н.Апухтин. Стихотворения. Библиотека поэта. Большая серия. 2-е изд.
Ленинград: Советский писатель, 1961 (A.N. Apuktin. Poems. The Library for a Poet. Extended issue. The second edition. Leningrad, `Sovetski pisatel`Publishing House, 1961)
The third poem of the garland of poems related to Peter Tchaikovsky belongs to a representative of the earlier wave of emigrants to the USA from Russia in early 70s.
Ольга Скопиченко П. И. ЧАЙКОВСКИЙ Как симфония жизни владеет сердцами
Звуковая, зовущая к небу волна ...
О Чайковском сейчас говорить не словами,
И не выдумать даже такие слова.
Мир давно побежден. Не мечем, не в сраженьях
И не силою знанья. Невидимым тем,
Тем бессмертным, что слышится в каждом движенье,
В каждом звуке его музыкальных поэм.
Ту вселенность, что в русской душе непреложна,
Он в гармонию звука сумел перелить.
Его музыка, как откровение Божье,
С его музыкой легче и радостней жить.
Простота и сердечность. Торжественность, грозность
Каждый шелест земли, каждый рокот волны,
Необъятного неба бескрайняя звездность
Им в симфонию звука в одно сведены.
Его творчество символ нездешнего света,
Победителя в век нарастающей тьмы.
Им нетленная слава России пропета
Нашей страшной и горькой, великой страны.
Source: "Альманах №2 кружка поэтов и писателей "Литературные встречи"" - г. Сан-Франциско, 1973 год, Калифорния (The Almanac #2 of the literary circle `Literary meetings`, San Francisco, California, 1973).
Olga Skopitchenko P.I. TCHAIKOVSKY Wave of sounds of life reaching skies that above us
Changes into a symphony reigning over the hearts ...
It is useless to speak words about Tchaikovsky. Alas,
That vocabulary hasn`t been formed so far.
World was conquered. Not by swords, in the battles,
Not by knowledge, but by the invisible force
That`s immortal and heard in every single development,
Every sound of his lifelike music discourse.
All the feelings which are deep at hearts of the Russian
None could better than him using harmony objectify.
This is music reminding of the divine revelation
So listening to it you can`t help loving life.
Ease and warmth, thrill and fear, and grandeur, solemnity.
Every rustle of leaves, every roar of the waves,
Starry, boundless skies, harmony of the Universe,
Altogether presents in his music`s fine lace.
His creation reflects rays of light that is foreign,
But as always keeps glowing in the dark though it lasts very long.
Uncorruptible glory to Russia is day by day sung by him,
To the country of terror and grief that`s still great as before. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Galina Vishnevskaya, young, beautiful, passionate, improbably sexual, sensual, sings Tchaikovsky`s romance `Everything for you!` - Concert in Moscow, Russia, 1964. Her ideal manner, firstly, stresses the unique talent of the Russian genius (none before or after Tchaikovsky composed such `romances` though they were not romances either by their style or thought or almost thermonuclear emotional energy), secondly, shows her own ability to insights into the very core of the author`s message, a perfect example of the complete and mutual involvement of the author and performer, a creative success! Wow! Blya! (Oh, sorry!) Encore! Bravo!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHBIxdkdesQ&feature=player_detailpage
Last but not least! Tchaikovsky`s poem! Though it draws a great interest abroad, it had never been translated into the foreign languages before!
П.И. Чайковский ЛАНДЫШ ...Я жду весны. И вот волшебница явилась.
Свой саван сбросил лес и нам готовит тень.
…И речки потекли, и роща огласилась,
И, наконец, настал давно желанный день.
Скорее в лес!.. Бегу знакомою тропою.
Ужель сбылись мечты, осуществились сны?
Вот он! Склонясь к земле, я трепетной рукою
Срываю чудный дар волшебницы весны.
О ландыш, отчего так радуешь ты взоры?
Другие есть цветы роскошней и пышней,
И ярче краски в них, и веселей узоры, –
Но прелести в них нет таинственной твоей.
(1878)
By P.I.Tchaikovsky LILY OF THE VALLEY Spring was awaited. Finally the Sorceress appeared.
The forest took off snow blanket, prepared shadows.
The rivers flow, a grove not far from here
Resounded again, the day at last says`Welcome!`
Without delay to forest! The familiar track!
Whether my dreams come true, my daydreams?
There it is! I`m bending forward, with my hand
I`m picking up a nice gift of the Sorceress, of Spring!
Oh, lilly of the valley, you`re a real delight of sight.
The other flowers, luxuriant and splendid,
Some are unlike you brighter and extremely fine,
Still lack your charm, miraculous and candid*. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
* candid means here white as well.[/I]
These lines were discovered after Tchaikovsky`s death in his personal papers and published in the literary journal Русский вестник (Russkiy Vestnik - Russian Herald) in 1894. The poem was written in Italy. In the letter to brother Modest the great composer confessed: `For the first in my life I managed to write really good verses, very deep-felt ones … They were hard-earned, but I worked with no less pleasure than when writing my music`. Brother offered to have the poem published, but Peter refused the very idea of it after remembering the maxim of his teacher Anton Rubinstein: `Writing is a pleasure, publication is a responsibility`(`Писание - удовлетворение, печатание - ответственность`).
Anton Arensky - Lilly of the valley. Lyrics by P. Tchaikovsky. Sung by Elena Korotkova. Excellent performance of the very rarely performing romance of Thaikovsky`s junior contemporary author, very popular in Russia for the time being too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ihUUlpWGPu8
Romance by Arensky has got another variant of this poem, it begins from `Oh, lilly of the valley ...` and includes two more stances (they`re absent in the initial, above-mentioned variant).
IN PURE RUSSIAN, ENGLISH AND CHINESE, OR DEFEAT OF DENNY CRANE`S RIOT
GREAT PATRIOTIC WORD
The Russian father and son in a tram. Son exclaimes: Wow! A horse! Farther: Don't let me hear another American exclamation out of you! Speak Russian! Son: Blya!* The horse!
*Blya! originates from the formally tabooed Russian word blyad` (whore!), but the young and old alike extensively use it in Russia and in the territory of the former Soviet Union. It came from the Old Slavonic language. It`s very funny and is rarely used as a contumely in its full form (blyad`) and never used for that purpose in its abridged, colloquial form (blya). The polite Russian equivalent of `Wow!` is the exclamation `Ookh ti!` But `Blya! never dies! The common rule is, you are free to say this word in company of men if you`re a man, in company of women if you`re a woman, in company of teenagers if you`re a teenager … or if you`re in a traffic accident.
Traffic accident, the howl of despair and heartrending cries: `To where, to where? Blyad`!`Blyad`!`https://youtu.be/cZwiJerOekQ
Husbands and wives can use it in their conversation in absenсe of children. But it`s in theory, `cuz in real life this universal, multi-purpose exclamation is used in all families. If a foolish child uses it in presenсe of the unfamiliar people, all are laughing, after that the blushed parents used to explain: `We don`t know from where our child heard this word! Maybe, he did it in his ... kindergarten, from other children`. (The question is where the other children heard it from?).
Hearing this explanation everybody is nodding leerily. The drunk persons can use it more freely, but they usually use more sophisticated and proportionally more tabooed phrases like that: `Blya budu nahui!` It`s an extended exclamation, it has no definite meaning, though literally it means `I`ll be a whore on one`s penis if I … !` Now let`s fix this lesson by examples from the real life of Russia, let`s see the way the word `blyad` and its derivative exlamation `blya!` work, study its, so to say, usage.
A teenager learned from somewhere that the Russian marines and paras (paratroopers) allegedly had got a habit of breaking bottles over their own heads and tried to repeat it. Fortunately, he stopped in time, he felt himself silly in company of laughing boys of the same age who ironically commented: `Look at this man of airborne troops!`In his turn, he kept saying feeling pain: `Ai, blya!` Everything`s good that ends good! Boys, blya! https://youtu.be/1dmq2CAcs4Y
PERSONAL DISCOVERY
- Yesterday I skydived for the first time!
- What did you feel?
- I knew whence the adrenaline oozed out!
Russian teacher is teaching English in a Chinese school. Sometimes she`s using Russian word `Blya!` and is teaching the class to pronounce it! Wow! (Exuse me, blya!) https://youtu.be/usFapHVW2E8
This video was responsed in many ways in Russia, it left much room both for delight and indignation. My response is just laughter!
Firstly, she really teaches children to speak English.
Secondly, he must be severely underpaid in China, she`s sick and tired.
Thirdly, owing to her the Russian word of `Blya!` is becoming international like English word `Wow!`.
Fourthly, children feel fine and relaxed.
Summing up. Hands off this Russian teacher, blya! Leave her alone, blya! If you`re so moral, so `child-liking`, go and replace her in China. China needs good teachers, blya! `Judge not that ye be not judged!` Besides, she seems to be wanting to be fired off! But she can`t manage it! Those cunning Chinese, however, saw through her game.
Candice Bergen in the `Boston Legal`
Do you remember final episodes of the American TV serial `Boston Legal`? The character of Candice Bergen asks the Chinese partners of the company `Crane, Poole & Schmidt` to remove her name (Schmidt) from the header of company, but they act vice versa because they knew that she wanted it badly.
Denny Crane (Actor William Shatner)
As to Denny Crane, he wanted to have his name left, but they replaced his name in the header to the name of Chinese businessman Chang
Zhu Chang, a powerful Chinese attorney & investor.
And since then its header has been `Chang, Poole & Schmidt`. Denny also wanted to be fired! But in vain!
Denny`s Riot: Denny shoots Zhu and company with two paintball guns.
The stratagem thinking. Learn 36 Chinese stratagems! Or else there is no difference between you and that Russian English teacher who taught the Chinese say `Blya!` But telling lies be brief! All stratagems are brief, aren`t I right, the Chinese? Billions of people said as one: `Ye-e-es! Blya!`
MINISKIRT, YOUNG GRANNY AND LA DOLCE VITA!
Wow! Pardon! Blya! (An example of the modern Russian political photo satire depicting the Captain-in-Chief of all Russia`s military industrial complex Dmitry Rogozin and Supermegadiva of American and International showbiz Madonna). Well, there`s no business like show business! IMHO, showbiz won by one to nil!
To Madonna MY GRANNY AND HER MINISKIRT
My granny wears a miniskirt
It`s overknee to a great extent.
My granny wears a miniskirt
From the year one, I can swear!
My granny wears a miniskirt
And it makes our family laugh.
My granny wears a miniskirt
Despite this she refuses to cough!
My granny wears a miniskirt
It`s of pink crêpe de Chine.
My granny wears a miniskirt
Once it helped her pick up Jiang Jieshi.*
My granny paints her lips
She drinks more than me.
My granny wears a miniskirt
And she always feels free.
My granny`s on the stiletto heels,
She could have broken her legs, yet she`s on top.
My granny`s still in love with late Graham Greene.**
It`s with him that she danced the foxtrots.
My granny had a facelift made
And it had its effect.
She became the Playboy`s poppet maiden
And a face of the famous trade brand. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
*Jiang Jieshi (Chiang Kai-shek, 蔣介石) (1887 - 1975) was a 20th-century Chinese political and military leader, an influential member of the Guomindang, the Chinese Nationalist Party, and was a close ally of Sun Yat-sen. After 1949 Jiang Jieshi 's government and army retreated to Taiwan. Chiang had been ruling the island securely as President of the Republic of China for 22 years.
**Henry Graham Greene (1904 - 1991) was an oustanding British gentleman, spy, writer, playwright and literary critic. His novels explored the ambivalent moral and political issues of the modern world. Greene was noted for his ability to combine serious literary acclaim with widespread popularity.
SLOGANS: OUR MAJOR OBLIGATION IS NOT TO MISTAKE SLOGANS FOR SOLUTIONS
Write your blog in all situations!
DRINK, SMOKE, FUCK
If you do not drink and swear, then you don`t take interest in the latest news of your country and the world.
Secret of harmony: Love all, trust few, abuse none!
BE REALISTIC
Save your time, get disappointed in people at once!
BLONDES, BLONDES, BLONDES!
A BLONDE AND INTERCOM
A blonde is calling an intercom:
`Who`s there?` she`s being asked.
- Oi, it is me, Tatyana, don`t you see me, Tom?
Are you at home? If so, open fast.
The dude`s been merely perplexed.
As well as by her inquiry bepuzzled:
`No, shit, I have just flown away
On business trip to City of Chicago!`
- How long will you`ve been over there?
Is that Chikaka placed in Poland?
- I`ll have been spending for a year
In that remote place near Holland.
`It is so sorry! Missing you I am upset.
But you can`t help it. Nor can I.
Well, darling, try be back A.S.A.P.
I wish you have a pleasant flight!` (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
You think I hate blondes? Nope, I`m a blonde myself. My IQ is 26. I assure you many funny stories about blondes are truthful, but they do not have anything to do with them, they`re exclusively about me! By the way, sometimes I cannot understand the punch line of funny stories! Oh, yeah! People have to explain me. It`s funny by itself and so I never spoil parties. Once pupils of our class (in a grammar school) went to peep at ladies` legs from beneath of the partly broken boarded platform of the provincial railway station. The trackwalker noticed them and knowingly inquired: `I see, you`re waiting for express! Good luck!` When I was told that story from real life, I could not grasp the meaning, what `express`, why `express`? All school tried to explain me this, but in vain. A month later I understood that the trackwalker had meant an express train! Train, blya!
THINKING BIG OR MENTAL INSANITY?
If someone cries `Fire!` or `Murder!` there`s a good reason for calling firefighting brigade or police. But if one cries `Galaxy is in danger!` there`s an ambulance on the spot, and you are taken to asylum.
OPTICAL ILLUSION
Whom to believe? Pushed the door `Gents`, but found only the loo!
NO BLACK, BLONDE ONLY!
Hurra! The scientific term of the `black hole` was replaced with `Afro-Hole`! We`ve won!
WHAT IF A GRANDFATHER WERE A GRANDMOTHER?
Hey, man! Why are you getting so insisting?
In front of you I`m feeling great anxiety.
Agree, agree! We`ve split a bottle of Martini!
But `Introductions` and `Personals` are varieties.
Why are you getting so nervous, I demand?
These days what does it mean? Three drinks of brotherhood!
You told me something of your first space flight.
Remember me to the marines! Hey, Dude!*
You say, I touched your perineum with my big toe?
It`s from your trousers that I was taking out stains of mayonnaise!
I did it under table, not in the Colosseum, after all,
The heavy petting meant no marriage, triple `Nay`!
It`s just for fun that I`d brought you to my refuge
By force! I`d played a shabby trick, I`m sorry!
The fact that I am lying by your side being in the nude
Is nude, of course! Damn all! I might have had my hobby! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
RELIGION: GOD MAY BE SOPHISTICATED, BUT HE`S NOT MALICIOUS
Beatles - Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds. The Transformed Man, actor William Shatner's debut album released in 1968, contained Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds (5th track).https://youtu.be/xxaOItEmu3U
PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, OR THE OLD RULES STILL STAND
A monk is reproaching God for being merciless. God is asking:
- Who fucked the lady parisher in the church`s orchard yesterday?
Monk in reply: It's the devil's work, my Lord!
God`s asking the Prince of Darkness: Is it really your work, Lucy-in-the-the-sky-with-diamonds?
Lucifer`s answering: I see that guy for the first time!
God`s typing in the database: A new sin, talking slanderously about Satan.
NO SINS, NO REPENTANCE
I prayed and asked God to grant me with a bycicle. But in vain. Did I get disappointed in God, eh? Nope! I stole a bycicle and began to pray God to forgive me as a sinner. That`s how it sometimes works!
Happiness is a pleasure without remorse!
SEMANTIC CONFUSION
The priest: I`m consecrating this chariot in the name of ….
Young criminal: How have you called her? Don`t you see that she`s a new `Boomer` (`BMW` in the Russian slang)?
WHAT RELIGIOUS TABOO ARE FOR?
The airplane of an Israeli company was flying from Jerusalem to Verona. The passengers were mainly religious, orthodox Jews. Their children ran, shouted and disturbed the passengers and none could stop them. Then a young lady stood up in the passage and took off her blouse so that her tits could be seen. Silence! The Jews caught their children to close their eyes. But there were still young rioters … And then the lady threatened to take off her jeans! After that everything was all right!
INTELLIGENCE + SCIENCE = LOVE !
I`m Enstein in Love (from the 12th episode of the Russian TV Serial `17 instants of spring`. https://youtu.be/97y7qQgSZNo Dialogue of Otto Max von Stierlitz with a drunken Swiss lady mathematician who is interfering with his meeting with his connection in Bern, Switzerland: Voice-over: Herr Stierlitz noticed his connection long ago, but he couldn`t seem to get rid of a drunken young lady who had been chasing him since the moment he entered this place. A young lady(Actress Inna Uliyanova): You must listen and trust me! When they describe us, the mathematicians as the dried-up people, never believe it! Outrageous lie! Lie!!! Personally, I am Einstein of love! I gonna confess you just one thing, I wanna be with you, Sir! O.M. von Stierlitz (Actor Slava Tikhonov) : Fine! Get outside, my dear! I am to follow you soon. A young lady: No kidding, really? O.M. von Stierlitz: Nope! A young lady: I`m on my way. On my way! (A little bit later) Can you swear it? O.M. von Stierlitz:Cross my heart and hope to die! Now go and draw a pair of formulae! A young lady: Of course, I do! O.M. von Stierlitz: But be quick!
HELLO, STRANGER!
Do you know that Galileo spent his wedding night reading the book and was very astonished at finding out a strange girl in his bed. Galileo asked: `Who you, blya?` The girl answered: `I`m not a whore anymore, now I`m your wife!`
Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642) with book and Theodore Mommsen (1817 - 1903) and his spectacles.
WHO YOU, KIND GIRL?
Once great German historian Theodore Mommsen couldn`t find his spectacles. A little girl who found his spectacles was asked by him: `What`s your name? `My name is Anna Mommsen!` answered the girl and added: `Blya!`. The scholar could not remember his own daughter. Alzheimer? Oh, no! Normal absent-mindedness!
According to the script of the TV serial Denny Crane allegedly revealed some signs either of Alzheimer or Cow mad diseases though in reality he was absolutely normal, but getting old. Getting old is no disease. Simply, his best days were behind, but he did not wish to recognise it and got his jollies as if he was much younger. He loved life and people. He was a man of his country and time. A good old man!
EDUCATION: IN THE FIRST PLACE, GOD MADE IDIOTS, THEN HE MADE SCHOOL BOARDS
THE DREAM OF LIFE
Lectures would be more appropriate if one could attend them smoking Cuban cigars, drinking French cognac and from time to time exclaiming: `What rubbish, blya!`
Jesus to America and Russia: `Girls, do not quarrel, blya!`
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
A little boy sitting in the loo asks his mother:
- Mom, what human beings are for?
Mother:
- For feeding mosquitos, I s`pose!
MIND HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH CALCULATIONS
- Just fancy that you`ve got ten apples, I asked you to give me two, how many will you have got?
- Ten, `cuz I won`t give you anything.
- What if a stranger will punch you and take two apples … How many …
- Ten apples and one corpse.
LIMITED VOCABULARY
Two six-year old girls:
- Just fancy, I`ve found a condom in my daddy`s purse!
- Wow! What does the word `purse` mean?
Nuptial benediction for the gay people. Price 3,700 roubles.
GENDER PARADOX
- Mommy, who are transvestites?
- I don`t know. You`d better go and ask Uncle Natasha!
SPEED OF LIGHT AND EARS Professor: What`s quicker, sound or light? Student: Light! Professor: Give proof of this! Student: When I switch on the radio, I see light first, then I hear the sound. Professor: Get out! (To another student) Professor: What`s quicker, sound or light? Student: Sound! Because when I switch on my TV set I hear sound first. Professor: Get out! (To the third student) Professor: Imagine you`re standing on top of mountain and see a cannon. Boom! What would you register first, flame or boom? Student: A flame! Professor: Why is it so? Student: Because eyes are in front of ears! Ears are farther, Sir!
NO FUTURE! NO FUTURE! Teacher: You ought to understand that if you learn good you get to Heaven, otherwise you`ll get to Hell! A voice from class: Who will remain alive then?
SEX, LOVE, REPRODUCTION AND DEATH
SEXUAL EQUATION
Bill wanted a candy very much, but he gave it to Lucy, because he wanted Lucy more than the candy.
Driver! Watch the places where children appear from!
ALL WIVES ARE COMMUNAL
- Yesterday I fucked your wife, dude!
- Lucky you`re! I had to wait more than three hours before it was my turn to fuck yours.
Who said that women were heartless?
WHAT`S WHAT, WHERE`S WHERE
- Hi, dear? Where are you?
- At home. Going to bed. Where are you?
- I`m here, in the bar, right behind you!
Children are sleeping. Garnish the silencer!
NATIONAL DISTINCTIONS
On the beach in Russia. Naked Ukranian boy and Russian girl. She`s looking at his body with interest, then concludes: `Never expected before that Ukranians and the Russian are so different!`
KABALE UND LIEBE (CABALS AND LOVE)
In the lift (elevator). Wife, husband, a girl. The girl`s screaming: `Bastard! He pawed me in presence of his wife!` Husband to wife: `I haven`t done anything, I swear!` Wife: Take it easy! It`s me who felt her up a little bit!
Great is the gift
Of a samurai`s wife.
She presents him with bright stars in the night
In one stroke of her rolling pin!
はるみの三度笠/カラオケ Miyako Harumi-san-no Sando Gasa KARAOKE of the original extended show! https://youtu.be/A6Gz2_sPZus
TRAUMATIC EPIDEMIC
Hospital. Doc`s examining the injured, all have heads hit with something heavy. He`s asking: What have you been hit with?
The patients in chorus: With a rolling pin!
Doc: Oh, I see. Traumatic epidemic!
Patients: No! That guy in the corner had been losing himself in the crowd while escaping from his wife!
FAREWELL TO THE WHITE AND JAPANESE Dynosaur: Gimme! Dynosaurine: Nope! Dynosaur: Gimme, or else we have extincted! Dynosaurine: Nope!
And they extincted!!! Blya!!!
LET THEM BETTER WORK THAN FUCK
An immigrant from Somalia came to Germany. He stopped the first person to say: `I`m grateful to German people for mercy, asylum, food, …!`But the pedestrian said:`I am not German, I`m from Afganistan!` Then Somali met another person and repeated his thanks, but that pedestrian said that he was an Iraqui. Then followed Pakistani, Indians, etc. Bepuzzled, Somali asked: `Where are Germans then?` And was answered: `This time they all work!`
POSITIVELY SLIM
What`s the ideal weight of a mother-in-law?
Two kilogrammes brutto (with urn).
Signboard: FUNERAL - SALE ON CREDIT!
DEATH MUST BE PRICEY
The best way of lowering of the death rate is to increase the price of burial.
When Fantie (I mean Fantomas) took off his mask, there occurred to be just Denny Crane under it. He was kidding! We must forgive him this caprice of a big child (caprice d'enfant)!
HIDING HER WISDOM IN HUMOUR, OR PAULINE SIBAGATULLINA AS A STAR OF THE MODERN RUSSIAN FEMALE POETRY
Pauline Sibagatullina (Polina Rashitovna Sibagatullina) was born from an oilman and a teacher of Russian in the 70s in Siberia, in Nizhne-Vartovsk. She moved to St. Petersbourg on leaving school and graduated from the Insitute of Commerce.
She was invited to take part in the famous humorous TV show `Comedy Woman`, a company of eight permanent ladies and one permanent gentleman.
All are young, but experienced and generously gifted comedians. She plays a female character who is promiscuous at nights and forgiving in the mornings. She`s a poetess (both she himself and her character) and she`s dipsomaniac (the same name character of hers, of course, rather than Pauline himself).
Lady Boss(whose name is Nataliya Andreyevna, real name of leading actress of the show Nataliya Eprikyan): Polya, what`s the use of arguing! Get sober before we go on. Pauline: Natasha, I`m sober all right, I swear. Lady Boss: We`ll discuss this later when you`re sober up! Pauline: Natasha, I`m not drunken. Lady Boss: But you are! Pauline: I am not! Lady Boss: You think I don`t know when you`re drunk or not. Enough. Go! Pauline: Well. In any case it`s not my show. So I`ll leave. It`s not hard to do it for me. But you don't tell lies about me!
In real life Pauline is a decent and married girl (it`s her second marriage). She likes the green colour, pears, her favourite scent is a fragrance of flowers and especially of apricots.
By Pauline Sibagatullina, St. Petersbourg`s poetess FRAGRANT ARSEHOLES, OR ODOURS OR SCENTS?
Buffalo`s arsehole smells of the grass
Growing under the sun in the vast.
Lions` arseholes smell like the savanna.
Monkeys` arseholes smells like the banana.
Hummingbird`s arsehole (it is if zoomed in)
Smells like wild flowers and blooms in the trees.
Hippopotami have got the big stinky arses
Because as a species they live in the marshes.
Antelope`s arsehole smells an escape.
Tigers` arseholes smell of a lavish lunch break.
Peacocks` arseholes also smell very well,
But he who eats never, he exhales no smells!
If you ask me point-blank, `Who on Earth are you, fella,
I`ll proudly answer: `I am arseholes` smeller`*. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
* If to follow word-formative pattern of the word `motherfucker`, there might be another variant of this neologism, occasionalism and coinage. I mean `arseholesmeller`: `I`ll proudly answer:`I`m an arseholesmeller!`. But in this case rhyme and rhythm gonna suffer.
Попа бизона пахнет травою.
Свежею, скошенной, дождевою.
Львиная попа пахнет саванной.
Свежим бамбуком у обезьяны.
Попа колибри (есть и такая)
Пахнет цветами, цветами, цветами.
У бегемота попа воняет.
Просто в болоте он обитает.
Попа косули пахнет побегом.
Попа у тигра – вкусным обедом.
Попа павлина пахнет вот так!
Лишь тот, кто не ест не пахнет никак.
И если вы спросите меня прямо в лоб:
Кем ты работаешь? Я – нюхопоп.
SMELLING LIKE A ROSE, OR CONCISE DICTIONARY OF THE SMELL QUOTATIONS RELATED TO THE TOPICS OF THE CURRENT POST
What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. William Shakespeare
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. Benjamin Franklin (So do my posts on the blog, and I have to seek for the new kids on the blog! By the way, this is non-commercial(s) blog by its contents. - A.A.O)
A scene from the Russian TV`s humorous show `Comedy Woman`. The Character of Pauline Sibagatullina - the same name high society lioness and dipsomaniac poetess from St. Petersbourg is flaterring her lady boss and reciting a couple of her poems.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhYrvYxh2Jw&feature=player_detailpage
DIALOGUE: Pauline: Dear Natalie, since you`re an indigenous Moscovite, I gonna present with you a garland of my poems dedicated to Moscow! Isn`t it your beloved city? Lady Boss: Of course! I must be wanting to be presented with the poems rather than with a gold ringlet! It`s your little poems that I deserve most of all. Do what you want! I`m tired of all! Pauline: Moscow! Moscow is a city of love! Moscow soaks up love like a sponge! Enough to remember the trains in your Underground, they fly like an arrow from the bow into the tunnels at such a speed that it provokes the vertigo! Another example! Traffic jams in the Ring Road! All press themselves to one another so close that it makes cars be on the boil! The traffic congestion inspired me. I couldn`t help it! I gave free rein to the rhymes!
Breakdown truck (Tow truck)
PERSONALIZED GIFT FOR A TOW TRUCK DRIVER
Tow truck driver called Gennady
When in the parking never sleeps.
He gives his piercing glance, ruddy,
At breakers of the parking creed.
If someone crosses line when parking
Whether by chance or as a rogue,
Tow truck driver called Gennady
Tows them away beyond th`Ring Road.
Tow truck driver called Gennady
You`re so sexy, handsome dude,
Tow me away, sweetheart Gennady,
As soon as possible to woods!
`Opel` is a automobile manufacturer headquartered in Rüsselsheim, Hesse, Germany and a subsidiary of the American General Motors. `Opel`s logotype and Adam Opel, founder of the world-famous enterprise.
I drove my `Opel` to the parking
And purposely released the brakes
To break all rules dogged by Gennady
And to deserve my paddywack!
Tow truck driver called Gennady
You`re so adamant and strong,
Tow me away somewhere, buddy,
And torture me to death for long. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Welcome to our construction site!
Эвакуаторщик Геннадий
В эвакуаторе сидит
И нарушителей парковки
Он взором яростным сверлит.
И если кто-нибудь экватор
Парковку вдруг пересечет,
Эвакуаторщик Геннадий
Его в Замкадье увезет.
Эвакуаторщик, Геннадий,
Ты сексуален и красив,
Эвакуируй же, Геннадий,
Меня скорей в лесной массив.
Сюда, на улицу Петровку,
Мой «Опель» пёрся неспроста,
Я здесь нарушила парковку
И заслужила а-та-та!
Эвакуаторщик, Геннадий,
Ты непреклонен и могуч,
Ты увези меня в замкадье
И до смерти меня замучь!
Oi, I`m sorry! I`m awfully sorry! It`s not my fault! It`s mischievous and frivolous Moscow ... white-stone Moscow (a literary epithet of Moscow - A.A.O) or what's-its-name ... One moment, please! I gonna drink some water! Just a little! (Drinking water). Well, Moscow is a very romantic city!
I`m fond of the Ring Road`s April outings,
Of breathing in fresh concrete`s smell at dawn,
Of walking up the stairs of the overpasses
To hear music of the firm reinforcement rods.
Warm weather finally set in in Moscow,
There`re distinctive marks of spring at every step:
Hark! A truck`s wheel fell into a gaping sewer manhole
It`s dangerous to drive a mile a minute there!
There hums a cheerful transformer,
The Moscow spring`s true nightingale,
There chirp and twit the perforators
The Moscow passerine surrogates.
Asphaltic bitumen keeps melting,
As rainbows shine the leaks of fuel oil,
A dumping lorry, fully laden,
Tears along while carrying the crushed stone.
In spring life of the capital is bucked up,
Just look, it rains! Oh, I`m wrong!
It`s homeless people, spitting on the cables,
Piss from above, they`re as good as lost.
Road kerbs as usual got swell with moisture,
The nature's great awakening is but a fact:
Ashan just like an owl hoots in the thick falsework,
Ravshan concealed in waste drinks from a puddle.
If only none could scare off the Asian!
I want him to eat out of my hands.
Alas! The dumping lorries being impatient
Made him vacate his drinking place!
Mud on my face, by spring bespattered,
The exit gases made my eyebrows plucked,
My eyes keep watering, monoxide made it,
It`s April that bewitched me and made blunt.
I`m fond of the Ring Road`s April outings,
Hereby I get into the way of being satanical. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Hand over your experience to young people!
*Ashan is a generalized character of the cheap working force from Caucasus. **Ravshan is a personification of the cheap working force from Central Asia. As to homeless people they are from all Russia`s regions and abroad. By the way, there were neither migrant workers nor the homeless in the former USSR. The rare exclusions only proved this fact. Russian migrant workers built Moscow, Russian migrant workers built plants in Estonia and Armenians built cowsheds in the Russian Far East fucking at the same time the local gals. They had big plywood tables in their camps on where they fucked the countrygirls with astraddle legs for money in rotation (ten-rouble banknote for one coitus per a person).
The girls were mainly Ukranians since the rural areas of the Russian Far East used to be inhabited by expatriate Ukranians. Their daughters are adult now, and they`re mainly very cruel by nature. They might have been humiliated in their young years in their villages as bastards though their mothers were mostly the unwed ones. By the way, many of these daughters moved to the cities later and made good careers as if to prove that they mean something in the world as personalities. Yet they`re very tough and cruel by their nature. I call those types of women `barkins`.
Ellen Rona Barkin, an outstanding American actress. Fierce and tender green-eyed delight, tornado, men destroyer. A tigress with sharp claws. A macho-woman who always could stick up for hers! Simply woman, great talent, free person, professional. A human being. God bless you!
And they all need a psychological aid, as they can`t believe that fortunately not always homo homini lupus est. They made their careers to be not dependent, especially upon men, to be not victims. And, of course, mostly they`re also unwed mothers. Sometimes they go on business trips and when far from home their behavioural pattern changes, they lead as men would lead in the same situations, as tough guys. They drink vodka not in driblets, but in pails. And they`re never getting intoxicated. They really fuck everybody and everything on two legs, mainly choosing as their partner an ordinary oilman or fisher or sailor getting a high wage. Not very goofy, ah!
Of course, Pauline never meant to abuse migrant workers in her truthful, ruthless and funny ha-ha poem. This poem is a little mirror of the real life in Russia. Life as it is. Life sometimes makes people be animals, when they have to `get into the way of being satanical`. Alas, sometimes the personal inferno starts in the Earth, but if it`s a casus belli for some people, the other have strength against plights. The right and duty of poets is to describe horrors and conflicts of life not only truthfully, but also humorously, though not in the mocking or humiliating way when it concerns the innocent.
Come on! Take it! One, two, up she goes!
Люблю весной бродить по МКАДу,
Вдыхая утренний бетон,
И чуть зайдя на эстакаду
Услышать арматуры звон.
В Москве весна установилась,
Пропитан ею каждый метр,
Чу! фура в яму провалилась:
Опасен пятый километр.
Гудит веселый трансформатор-
Весны московской соловей,
И зачирикал перфоратор-
Весны московской воробей.
Ужо расплавились асфальты,
Мазут искриться под огнем,
И мчится самосвал-проказник
С крупнокалиберным щебнём.
О, как весне в Москве мы рады,
Гляди, пошел весенний дождь!
Ан нет, то с рижской эстакады
Нужду на нас справляет бомж.
Набухли серые бордюры,
В чащобе ухает Ашан,
И притаившись в арматуре,
Из лужи воду пьет Равшан.
Ах, не спугнуть бы азиата,
Хочу кормить его с руки.
Но чу! его уже спугнули
Озорники-грузовики.
Моё лицо в весенней грязи
И выхлоп брови расщипал.
Угарный газ в глазах слезится,
Апрель меня околдовал.
Люблю весной ходить по МКАДу,
Я так себя готовлю к АДУ
Do not lose minutes of work!
Pauline`s favourite riddle reads as `What is common for a fly and tree?` The right answer is `They`re alive!` Her most favourite recommendation is `Never feel pity of what you have done!` Initially her character implied heroine`s origin from Bosnia and Herzegovina where she was to have been born in Sarajevo in a warehouse. But it never took on! As many true Russians Pauline is of the mixed Slav-Turkic roots. She never wrote poems before playing the poetess in the show. She occured to be an exellent, first rate poetess from St. Petersbourg. In passing, two world-famous Russian potesses Anna Akhmatova and Bella Akhmadullina were also of the Slav-Turkic roots. It`s a longstanding tradition of the Russian poetry and female poetry, in particular.
Anna Akhmatova and Bella Akhmadullina, two great Russian poetesses of the XXth c. Akhmatova is a penname, her real name was Gorenko. `Akhmatova` originates from the Mongolian name Akhmat, her ancestor was Khan Ahmat (Əxmət , Әхмәт , آحمد) (? - 1481), the last ruler of the Golden Horde, Russian-Mongolian medieval dualistic monarchic state. In his turn, he was a direct descendant of Genghis Khan. Bella Akhmadullina was born from Turkic father, he was a deputy minister of Tatarstan Republic, and Russian-Italian mother. Mongolia is one of the sources of the Russian nation and people. Genetically most of the Russian women are Slav-Mongolians.
In my humble opinion, Pauline has all chances of becoming a prominent Russian poetess if she`s ever been explained that her game of poetess is no longer a trifling matter! It`s her, not only her heroine, that has unwittingly and imperceptibly turned out to be a kind of figure in the modern Russian poetry. It`s an established fact – fait accompli if you exuse my French!
THE MARRIAGEABLE LADY (A Farcical Vaudeville) Mother: I mean, daughter, that if your today`s romantic rendez-vous not gonna be followed by swinging of the sofa I`ll be not responsible for my hand and for my leg! Grasped it? Daughter: Mommy, I am an adult woman. I`m 35 years old. Mother: We-e-ll? Does this number explain you anything? Are there any questions? I keep thinking, can your Igor by chance be an impotent man? Daughter: Mom! Mother: What mom? I told you many times, first verify then date a man. Daughter: Mom! I`ve known Igor just for a year! Mother: One year! There left just one year till the end of the world! By the way, me and your dad invented your name in the second minute of our meeting! Daughter: But he divorced you an hour later! Mother: Firstly, he didn`t divorce. Simply the night shift arrived. Secondly, it was his mom that arrived for him. Daughter: Do you think it`s good? Mother: Why not? Good. Why did I give birth to you for at 13? I did it so as you could have a young, beautiful mother to share with! Daughter: Mom! By the way, it`s my life! Mother: Life is yours, grandchildren are mine! Where are they? Where are they? May I ask you? Viktor, Tanya, Nick, where are all? Where are they, I ask you! Due to you I`m photographed with unknown children in the street! Daughter: Why do you do it? Mother: To pose them as my own grandchildren! O-h-h! The grandchildren`s tube has trudged at last! Now I`m leaving, but this time no problems, please! Being next room I hope to hear the sofa swinging. I`m on my way ... As he has come in, tell him to immediately take off his shoes ... otherwise he hardly realizes that he has to get undressed all the way. Daughter: Hi, Igor! Goofy admirer: Hi, Ann! Daughter: You can stay in your shoes on! Mother: F-f-uck! Goofy admirer: Ann, is anybody else at home? Daughter: No, it`s TV set! Goofy admirer:Ah, TV! Oh, my! Everything`s so romantic! Daughter: How are things? Goofy admirer: Things, things, things! Daughter: Help yourself to this salad, please! Meat salad, crabmeat salad! Why are we so shy? We`ve got wine here! Goofy admirer: Wine? Wine, fine, mine! Wine`s good! Ann, have you got a corkscrew?
Oi! The corkscrew! Fit to open the bottle! You even do not know how I am glad being here, by your side! Your table`s so abundant! Well, sorry. I`ve failed to open it. Never mind! Mineral water will be fine with us too. Like a prohibited beverage! Ha-ha- ha-ha! Mother: Good evening, sir! Daughter: Don`t be afraid! It`s my mom! Goofy admirer: Nice to meet you, Galina Sergeyevna! Ann used to tell me a lot about you! Mother: You drink, Sir! Goofy admirer:How young is your mom! Daughter: She gave birth to me very early. Goofy admirer: As to mine, she gave me birth at 40. She`s old now but still on-the-run! Daughter: To our moms! Goofy admirer: Yes, to moms! If you only knew, dear Ann, I`m so glad being here, now! You`re so good woman! What? What, Galina Sergeyevna? You want me to help you strike the nail home? Mother: Strike better your own nail! I`m leaving now! I`m going to bed! I won`t disturb you as I gonna sleep fast, very fast! Till one a.m. Goofy admirer:Good night, Galina Sergeyevna! Mother: I can`t wish you the same, you! Goofy admirer:If you don`t mind, I gonna go home, or else I disturb you mother. She`s gonna sleep. It is inconvenient for me to stay any longer! Mother: Inconvenient? Why is it so? Tell me, darling, why do you go here so often? A year passed! You come just for fun, to have your lunch? I`m sick and tired of adding proteins and walnuts to your food just to awake your fucking libido! When will you put my daughter to good use? I had to change condoms all the time as they had been expiring. Never set foot in here again! Daughter: Mom, due to you I`ll never marry anyone! Mother: Just try it! Daughter: What to do? Mother: Nothing. I`ll phone Igor Valentinovich. He`s to go abroad for five years. To Bangladesh. So he wants to kiss the Russian goodby! Daughter: What do I have to do with it? Mother: Aren`t you Russian either? There`s a little chance of his taking you with him! I wish it were, my dear pain in the neck! Don't give up! It`s above all! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
VITA BREVIS EST O βίος βραχύς
Besides, Pauline Sibagatullina is also a grandmaster of the brilliant short poems like those below:
You never know me by sight.
On meeting you I am in mask
Made of a cucumber that`s finely cut. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
By Pauline Sibagatullina, St. Petersbourg`s poetess
Days fly,
My years elapse.
I say to men more often:
`Yes!` (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Проходят дни,
Бегут года.
Все чаще говорю
Мужчинам: Да!
HABITUALLY SMART
Ruby wine`s habitually drunk with meat,
White wine, it`s habitually drunk with fish.
Some wine is as always drunk with duck.
I am drunk, but who is smarter in the minibus? (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
There`s something Japanese in her short poems, it`s not without reason that they remind me of the Japanese tankas.
TANKAS OF THE SENSUAL LOVE AND GREAT FEELINGS
Ruboku Sho`s Erotic Tankas
One hundred cups
Will hardly quench one`s thirst.
One hundred women
Aren`t beyound the limits of a man.
Your waistband got untied.
Splash! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Сто чарок
Жажду утолят едва ли
Сто женщин для мужчины не предел
Пояс развязался
Всплеск
Since fourteen
You`ve been calling your guests.
Everyone has known you in Edo.
Ah, Okiyagariboshi-san!
Wanna have a star from heaven obtained? (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
В четырнадцать лет
Зазывала гостей
Кто в Эдо не знает тебя
Ах, Окиягарикобоси!
Звезду с неба не хочешь?
You have preferred me
To an oil trader?
Well, then for how long?
Where to get money?
That`s the problem. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Ты предпочла меня
Торговцу маслом
Да вот надолго ли?
Где денег взять
Ума не приложу
You`ve undone
Your kimono with a smile.
Why have you asked me to turn aside?
Great feelings.
Small boobs. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
С улыбкой
Развязала кимоно
Но просишь отвернуться
Большие чувства
Маленькая грудь
Mona Lisa: Dr. Fun is your today`s doctor on duty! As to me I`m smelling like a rose now, so all questions, claims and complaints address him exclusively! It`s him! Dr. Fun (Freud): It`s me, O Folks!
To err is a psychophysiological and biological privilege of the animate beings throughout of the Universe! (As you can see, I stress my own errors, mistakes and blunders!) So welcome to err!
ARMAGEDDON IS ALREADY HERE, OR FAREWELL TO THE AUTHORS AS A DECLARATION OF PEOPLE`S TRUE LOVE!
ROLL UP, ROLL UP! FOR THE FIRST TIME: INDIA, LENIN, OSBOURNE AND LEV TOLSTOY ALTOGETHER!
Lev Tolstoy, the world-famous author of the novels `The War and Peace`, `Anna Karenina`, etc. simply adored India. The Soviet Russian, except for the scholars, didn`t even know it, because Tolstoy`s philosophy was strongly influenced by main religions of India (Hinduism and Buddhism) as he understood them and, in its turn, his own teaching greatly influenced the Tolstoy`s contemporaries in India. As a writer Tolstoy was welcomed in Russia and Soviet Russia while as a philosopher and a guru of the sect of tolstovites he was a person non grata both for the Russian authorities and the Orthodox clergy either before or after the revolution. Of course, there were issued 90 volumes of Tolstoy works in the USSR, but their circulation did not exceed 5,000 copies. It was so called academic edition for scholars. All the `Indian` works by Tolstoy were presented in volumes 21-22, 41-42.
Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy and Soviet poster `The Indians and Russian are brothers!`
Mostly, it was Tolstoy`s translations from the Indian languages. Fables, fairy tales, proverbs, etc. Why did Tolstoy do it? He not only loved India, but also regarded himself as a voluntary cultural intermediary between Russia and India. He regularly met all the Russian who visited India or wrote about it, including notorious Elena (Helen) Blavatskaya. He read Indian philosophers, because he was an Orientalist by his University education (formally unfinished) and philological likings. The first time he mentioned India in his works in 1851, for the last time he did it six decades later, in 1910. His knowledge of India was quite excellent and he even edited (!) the books written by the Russian indologists. He wrote the first letter to India in 1894, it was his response to the letter of a British officer, of an Englishman who served in India. The military officer asked Tolstoy `How to live?`. Tolstoy answered him that as soon as `our life is short while our Reason is powerful, so there`s no sense in living in the wrong way`.
Mahatma Gandhi and Russian caricature of priests either `prosecuting` Tolstoy or struggling for his soul (1901).
Tolstoy received and read a lot of Indian newspapers, journals and books. He studied ancient and modern literature of India, Indian folklore, recommended the works by Indian authors to the Russian translators. Moreover, his task was to bring together the ordinary people of Russia and India. Tolstoy described the life and views and had the biography of Buddha published in Russia. He cooperated with Gandhi काली in working out the agenda of the national liberation of India. According to Gandhi it was Lev Tolstoy who persuaded and inspired him to become a leader of the national liberation of India. And I`m inclined to believe Gandhi.
Piotr and Thecla-Anna Tolstoy
Being well aware that Lev Tolstoy was an ambitious, demonstrative person, I admit that he might have been a TV star if there had been television that time. By the way, his direct descendants in Russia, Piotr Tolstoy (a very good and serious person indeed) and Thecla-Anna Tolstoy (a high society lioness and TV diva) whose faces are the replicas of Tolstoy`s famous portraits became the Russian TV stars!
Lev Tolstoy in hell! A part of the wall painting of 1883 in the church of Tazovo Village in Kurskaya province of Russia. What`s most interesting and amazing – Count Lev Tolstoy was anathematized by the Russian Orthodox Church only in 1901 when his defection from the Christian dogmas and the Confession of Faith turned out to be obvious for all in the Russian society and the Church had to estimate his challenging views and behaviour.The Russian, the ordinary Russians, including peasants, loved to read Tolstoy but they knew that he was a godless person rioting against the Christian faith though not an atheist.
Lev Tolstoy was really not only against the negative sides of the church`s life, but also against the very personality of Christ and considered Christianity to be a false teaching. He was satisfied with the fact of anathema and admitted its rightness. But despite challenging the church and faith in public he kept his private contacts with the Orthodox church`s living saints, and the nearer was his demise, the more startled and uneasy he was becoming. He considered himself to be a `Buddhist`, but he wasn`t indeed, he was against all the religious dogmas and subconsciously tried to replace the Absolute with himself. But he was a kind person, he believed in the Russian peasantry and sympathized with them and whether intentionally or not expressed Russian peasantry`s precarious support of the Christian faith. As soon as the Russian peasantry was promised the land they supported communists and immediately betrayed faith, king and fatherland. But communists deceived them, they have not received land so far. They lost their freedom and folkloric culture either, and their plagues of Egypt won`t stop until they sincerely repent and return into the lap of God. Otherwise they`re awaited by the fate of the Jews and Armenians who also have not settled their relationships with the Absolute so far and even do not want to repent. But they should, `cuz the Absolute is no puppet, schmo or human being!
Ozzy Osbourne as a stage person (but not an impersonation) of Goddess Kali the exorcist and destroyer of devils. The heavy metal was a kind of creative destruction of the evil around and in people! Tam-tam-ta-ta-tam! Ta-rara-rar-ra, ta-ta-tam! Great man! A Britisher!
Ozzy Osbourne. Is he a demon, let alone the Prince of Darkness? Not in the least. And he never was! If he had ever been, he would have been black Goddess Kali, Durga, the destroyer of demons! But no human being can be divine. In his private life, off the stage Mr. Ousbourne is just a civil person, excellent musician belonging to the history of art and rock music as an outstanding creative figure. A humane and reasonable man. His stage image has nothing to do with satanism. Moreover, objectively it`s a part of the Christian tradition, enough to remember the images in the Gothic cathedrals depicting the Evil to cause aversion and fear in parishers through ... aesthetic and spiritual relaxation. By that very reason the most clever clergymen never consider Nut-Crack Night or similar holidays to be pagan. They are in the context of the Christian culture, as well as Harry Potter, for example. Osbourne is against any attempts to use both his works and Christian faith for the evil and inhumane purposes. He`s well aware of the freedom of will that permits people to not correspond the Absolute`s unchangeable rules at their peril (the more so because none is late for meeting the Absolute after their demises). Osbourne`s humane motivation effectively moves him away from Satan. Moreover! It`s such folks like Osbourne owing to their humane position lay foundation for the return of Christianity to the world, for its oncoming resurrection. Otherwise the western civilization would lose its cultural identification. Besides, criteria are in any case were, are and will be outside and beyond the human beings. People would be glad to make perfect their race, nature and world, they keep inventing ideals, patterns and paradigms, gods, Supreme Beings, Great Architects of the Universe, etc., but who will provide them with the blueprints? If it`s other, even more clever and kind folks who do it, then there`ll be nothing again except for the terrorism, inquisition, dachaus, gulags and hiroshimas. So mote to be, folks!
From the point of view of the Russian Orthodox Church Tolstoy was (and is, since his anathema ἀνάθεμα published in the press though not proclaimed in the churches remains in force) a great sinner, a victim of his own malignant pride, a kind of a spiritual disease. Yes, folks, Lev Tolstoy is in hell! The living Russian saints from the ancient St. Opta Monastery tried to save him and his soul and he himself was about to agree to it, they wanted to administer the Last Sacrament, but … his secretary Vladimir Tchertkov (Tchertkov is a charactonym – of devil, of demon in the Russian language, as to his name, it means `one to whom belongs the world`) and his unreasonable elder daughter set their faces against the Last Sacrament and the reserved Host in defiance of the will of dying Tolstoy.
Vladimir Tchertkov (Portrait by Ilya Repin) and photo of Lev Tolstoy and Vladimir Tchertkov and photo of Elena (Helen)Blavatskaya. From the private letter of Lev Tolstoy: `God gave me the supreme happiness. He granted me with such a friend as Tchertkov!`Tolstoy`s sister Maria in her nightmare saw the ceiling of her brother`s study disappearing to give the way to the divine light, but then Tchertkov entered the study and closed Tolstoy`s eyes with his hands. That very moment from beneath the floor there appeared a handsome, but sinister figure of the Prince of Darkness, prince of devils. God and Devil struggled for Tolstoy`s soul and freedom of will kept options open for Tolstoy to choose from, but, unfortunately, he was late to use the right chance.
The members of his quasi-Protestant sect, the Russian intellectuals (presumptuous fools as was proved by the further progress of the Russian history) immediately put cordons around the last refuge of the great Russian author and did not permit monks led by living saint Varsonofy to access Tolstoy.
The icon of all living saints of Opta`s Monastery and photo one of them, monk Varsonofy who led Russian Orthodox Church`s delegation to the dying Tolstoy. First people in the West was infatuated with Tolstoy as their guru, then their grandchildren went to seek for wisdom in India. Where are they now, those tolstovites and hippies? Extincted like the mammoths! Vanity of vanities! Pah! In Russia folks were infatuated with Indian philosophy, many played in gurus and mahatmas in the 60-80s, but could not pass Indian philosophy exams from the first time in the University! It speaks for itself! Pah!
From the point of view of the Tolstoy`s supporters the reconciliation of his leader with the Russian Orthodox church would have meant a spiritual defeat of his teaching.
Slave Market with the Disappearing Bust of Voltaire (1940) is a painting by Spanish and Catalan Surrealist Salvador Dalí (Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto Dalí i Domènech, 1st Marqués de Dalí de Pubol (1904 -1989).
Unlike Voltaire, the same great writer and sinner, Tolstoy died being deprived of the Holy Communion.
St. Opta`s Monastery is situated on the right bank of the Zhizdra river, the feeder of the Oka river near ancient Kozel`sk city. This monastery was founded by robber chief Opta who repented his sins and took of monastic vows as monk Macarius. The monastery was at the very climax in the 19-early 20s centuries when it was inhabited by the living saints who were no less worshipped by people in Russia than mahatmas of India.
Immediately after leaving his body Tolstoy`s soul rushed to the gates of the St. Opta`s Monastery and started knocking at it, but from behind the `clouds` there flew out countless devils that grasped the sinful soul and carried it along into Hell. The mural painting`s prophesy in the ordinary Russian church came true.
Alexandra Fyodorovna Romanova, the last Empress of the Russian Empire (Alice Großherzogin von Hessen-Darmstadt), now a Russian Saint, and a page from her Psalter with swastika as an ancient Christian symbol of Holy Communion above, in Heaven.
But this dénouement has nothing to do with India and Tolstoy`s noble and sincere infatuation with that country where Jesus Christ (one of three manifestations of the vector of the Absolute in the material, physical world) himself might have spent part of his life, the part undisclosed for human beings. By the way, India is mentioned in the first Russian chronicle in time of the first dynasty of Vikings who used swastikas as a detail of their Royal ermine vestments.
Swastika in the Cathedral of Kiyv and Grand Duke Vladimir the Baptist of Russia
The last Russian Queen and Russian Orthdox Saint depicted the ancient Indian swastika on the doorpost of merchant Ipatiyev`s House not long before accepting the death of a martyr from the atheists and pagans to order of their devil`s vicar in the Kremlin. His stepped pyramid is still situated in front of the ancient Kremlin built by the Italian masons from Verona as a shameful and discreditable doghouse of the greatest son of a bitch in human history. I mean that very Ulyanov-Lenin who once described Lev Tolstoy as `a mirror of the Russian revolution.
J.D.Salinger. His outstanding literary works of an American classical author accurately answered the canons of Hinduism. That American literary brahman was not an amateur in the Indian philosophy though he never lived in India. He is a writer for all times, folks! To the right: Great Russian artist Ilya Glazunov. He created a historic painting where all the historical human `icons` and `idols` and `devils` and `saints` of the Russian history of the 20th c. are present. See in the right corner at the foot of the picture: living saints and Lev Tolstoy with the Freemasonry symbols on his works! His ideology of the moral improvement was the Freemasonic by its spirit to the greater extent. Besides, being a Russian nobleman, Tolstoy was thinking in French rather than in Russian. French was his first language, as English was the first language of Vladimir Nabokov. But he wrote in Russian and had one of the richest vocabularies among the Russian writers (up to 50,000 words). That time the French language in Russia played the same part as English plays in India and Pakistan at present time.
From Tolstoy`s translations: AN INDIAN SAINT AND ENGLISHMAN
Indians decided to execute a young British military officer, their prisoner. But an Indian oldman asked them to spare his life and expressed his wish to take him. They agreed. The oldman untied the Englishman, took him to his cabin and fed him. At dawn he odered the Britisher to follow him. They approached the British camp and the Indian released the young man. The Englishman got surprised and asked the reason of such an unreasonable behaviour. The matter was that Englishmen had killed oldman`s only son. The oldman explained that at seeing the preparation of the execution he remembered his killed son and felt pity of the young man. He added as well that the Britisher could join the British Army and continue to kill Indians if he would want to.
By Dmitri Gaiduk (text and narration) and Phil (production and animation) CABBY THE WISEACRE AN INDIAN FAIRY TALE
Once upon a time an Indian taxi-driver read somewhere in a book that the caste system in India was cancelled long ago. Formally, it was abolished in 1949. Since that time all the Indians have been allegedly equal and everyone has been enjoying the human rights! It would seem there`s nothing special in it! What is writ is writ! The kind of things is written in those books! But the cabby not only gave way to it, but also drew the generalized deduction. Notably, he pushed forward to seek in marriage with a brahman`s daughter.
The brahman being no fool let him go whistle! He was polite but firm. He asked him puzzling questions, kinda `Who is your father, Sir, who is your grandfather, who is your grandgrandfather, where have you been educated, what`s your annual income?` The taxi-driver got angry, told him a lot of rude and insolent things and, having no leg to stay on, ran away! But he remained of the same mind!
In a month he appeared before the brahman`s mansion with a mat and plywood board! He sat down under a tree and put up the board and started his sitting. He had been sitting for many days. One day, another day, and so on! On the fourth day the brahman eagered to learn what was written on the board. There was written something like that, `I `ll be on the spot and go on hunger strike until the so-and-so brahman has given his daughter in marriage to me`. By the way, it was expressed in two languages, in Hindi and English.
Week had gone, but he was still sitting. Two weeks had gone, all the newspapers reported about the young hunger striker. He was shown on the box as well. So what to do, ah? In case of starvation the brahman would have to move to a new place, because people would hardly forget that accident. Does he really have to give her daughter in marriage to the taxi-driver? It seemed that there remained no alternatives. As to his daughter, to marry the ordinary one for her was like being drowned in a stinking fund. So he went to the temple of Goddess Durga, accomplished pooja and set forth her pressing request, kinda ` Deliver me from disgrace! Forbid that right in my youth I should have my life ruined!` And Durga answered the prayer. And helped her immediately! It happened the next morning.
Goddess Kali aka Durga. I am in all my terrors, I agree, yet I am an evil only with the evil, with bad fairies, succubi and demons! I am an ultrasuperviolence contra the very phenomenon of ultrasuperviolence!
While the taxi-driver was lying beneath the tree and dreamed of the brahman`s daughter, he was approached by the ugliest whore possible, ancient as Babylon and stinky as a loo. She said, `Hey, man! Wanna marry me?` Then she sat under the nearest tree and put out a sheet of plywood with the following explanation on it: `I `ll be on the spot and go on hunger strike until the so-and-so taxi-driver has married me`. It was written in five language, in English, Hindi, Tamil, Urdu and Sanskrit (By the way, only four. – AAO). The taxi-driver looked at her and saw that she was sitting stock-still like a stone statue and realized that that the horrible dame would sit longer than he would and she would win the public opinion over to her side. It`s her who is to be a winner! So he rolled up his matt, flung away his board into the shrubbery as far as possible and left the city that very day. The old bitch had been sitting for the rest of the day to joy of the citizens and jornalists. It`s almost at sunset when crowds broke up that she burnt with an orange flame and enveloped in smoke and turned out to be a bronze statue of the octomanous (eight-hand) Goddess. It was then that everybody realized everything! Though there were persons who guessed it from the very beginning. THE END (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
THE ZILCH GROUP, OR THERE ARE INDIANS AND INDIANS
What do I mean by that? There are Indians in India and there are Indians in Americas and there are `Indians` in … Russia! In the latter case I imply the Russian playing in Indians, in native Americans, in American Indians. That fever originates from the middle of the 60s, from the `Easterns` shot in the former German Democratic Republic from the novels by Karl Friedrich May, Fenimor Cooper and their permanent film stars Dean Reed (USA) and Gojko Mitić(Serbia).
Not only children and teenagers, but also the adult began to imitate the manners and rituals of the USA`s Indians. In post-Soviet time the Russian quasi-Indians participated in the Chechnya wars as pathfinders and scouts from both sides. Of course, they were volonteers. Well, well, well, well! Everyone is crazy in his own way!
Russian `Indians` at their powwow!
Owing to the enthralling German feature films that brought up the pro-Indian attitude of minds the Indians became the integral part of the Russian pop culture and even of the Russian pop music. The Russian group `Nol`(«Ноль») (literally `Zilch`) composed a song and wrote a text that became a quintessence of the Russian love of the Indianship (and Indianidad).
THE SONG ABOUT A TRUE INDIAN
A true Indian in the movies wants as usual this much,
Of this much he wants a little, almost zilch, to say as such!
If you`re an Indian, buddy, you will always be relaxed,
A true Indian everywhere and as always would feel best!
Refrain
Ah, ill-weed that grows apace and green grass of the vast steppes.
Ah, mushrooms, berries in the woods, little buttercups, so good.
Ah, little firtrees and birchtrees and fir cones in the fir twigs.
Ah, you little birds and ducks, funny jocular remarks!
Well, if suddenly our Indian gonna feel a little bad
He`ll light an unfiltered cigarette, then he`ll sit and have a fag.
He will sit and think a bit, he`ll at last come up with it.
Well, if he`s in low spirits then he`ll sing a merry song.
And towards evening around a fire all the Indians gonna sit,
Gonna fill their famous peace-pipe, it`s to quicken their wits.
And their prairie`s expanse will inspire their chants.
Where`re horses, our horses which we ride full tear, I say? (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Wow! They combined the Russian folkloric refrain with the narrative description of the Indians` mode of life. The song written relatively long ago is still alive, popular, broadcasted, loved … It`s a modern Russian folk song well-known for everybody in Russia.
The frontman of the group Fyodor Tchistyakov (nicknamed Uncle Fyodor, the name of a hero of Edward Uspensky`s children novel) was formerly regarded as one of the most prominent pop-musicians of Russia who learned to use the Russian accordion as an instrument of the rock music. Alas, he committed crime due to jealousy (he killed his girlfriend in an affective state), his career was destroyed, he spent years in the Russian prison and after that became a Jehovah Witnesses` preacher. The above-mentioned song separated from its authors and turned out to be a folk song and a part of the Russian urbane folklore. As to its Russian folkloric refrain though it was written by the authors it sounds as a genuine folk song. Taking into account that the ordinary Russian people do not know the former folkloric traditions we have the right to assume that the song`s authors had got an excellent artistic education because the Russian folklore is only taught in the music colleges and drama schools in Russia as a professional subject in their curricula.
Outstanding Russian comedians and clowns Katherine Kseniyeva and Yuri Gal`tzev in a parody TV serial `Russian Horror`. Two artistes are escaping from Russian mafia`s gangsters (allusion of the `Some Like It Hot`) and to be saved they are hiding in a concert hall where the folk songs contest is being held. The way to freedom is one, the stage, so they have to disguise themselves. He`s becoming a woman and she`s becoming a man to improvise a quasi-folkloric number. Being professionals, they`ve managed to do it brilliantly. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKq2uYDzBqM&feature=player_detailpage
THE WEEDS – THE RUSSIAN EPISODES – TO BE CONTINUED?
The second hit of the Zilch group was `Nice walk, nice talk` («Иду, курю»). It also became a folk song the more so because the drug-addiction became a part of everyday life of Russia. If earlier the Russian drank vodka, practised fistfighting, now they drink beer and smoke or inject drugs. No fistfighting, shouts, screams, squeals. No songs and dances in the streets and in the flats. Decorum is everything! The cooking of drugs and terrific smells related to that process are met everywhere in the cities. The authorities do not pay attention. In the Russian Far East the Central Asian citizens take active part in production and distribution of the drugs, besides, the unindentified Chinese structures` participation is obviously present. The drug enforcement offices do not response to the complaints of the ordinary citizens that awakes suspicion and mistrust. The blow-whistlers are being exposed to folks they informed on, hot-line service database is being accessed by the unauthorized personnel. But decorum is above all!
Many drug-addicts are rich and specious, as a result the Japanese students, for example, used to be their victims. They take them for the upright persons because they used to judge people by their clothing exclusively. Subconsciously the Japanese must still be remaining soldiers who read the uniforms and insignia. But the ordinary people can be dressed much better in Russia than intellectuals, the manual workers often earn more than teachers, professors, doctors. The definition `a typical Russian` is not relevant in Russia in relation to the people for the time being. The Russian are atypical as pneumonia! It`s a topsy-turvy world where white is often black and black is white. `Alice in Wonderland` is a very Russian book now!
The videoclip `Nice walk, nice smoke` combines two side-by-side, but mutually exclusive realities: two paracriminal guys, possibly young industrial workers are smoking marijuana while walking along the streets to and fro. The modern `drug-addicting` reality is being unfolded against the pictures of the popular and favourite pastimes that were typical for the proletarian suburbs in Soviet time when smoking of hashish both indoors and outdoors, however, was absolutely impossible. This schizophrenic anachronism makes the unfolding plot even more surreal. The `Nice walk, nice smoke` remains one of the most successful videoclips made in Russia during the previous two decades. Two co-existing, but incompatible realities just stress the peculiarity of the present time, seemingly calm, though with skeletons in the closets and family scandals behind the closed doors by the reason of inability of the members of families to share drugs and income. The song became the folk song as well as the song about the Indians.
The Zilch Group - `Nice walk, nice smoke`
NICE WALK, NICE SMOKE
I am coming back at evening after having smoked hashish,
Life is getting much more greater, kinda gonna get your wish.
Nice walk, nice smoke!
Rustle of the leaves is ringing in the ears, and the mist has settled upon the Neva river.
The mist has settled upon the Neva stream, the mist has settled upon the fields of weeds.
The mist has settled upon the Neva stream, the mist upon the fields of weeds, rat-tarat-tit!
Nice walk, a-h-h! Nice smoke, ah-h-h!
First gonna stroll along Elm street, then turn right to Wisteria lane
And stand awhile in Shady street to take breath in the shade.
Nice walk, nice smoke! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
THERE`S FIRE WITHOUT SMOKE
A farmer rings up his neighbour: `Jackson, is your horse smoking?` Neighbour: Are you crazy? The farmer: `Sorry, I just knew! Then your stable is on fire!`
By Pauline Voloshina (aka Samka) THE FINGERS PLEASE, DO NOT GET IT WRONG! Blonde: In short, they`ve bitten off the each other`s fingers. Brunette: Why? Blonde: Kinda to prove their love. Brunette: What fingers? Blonde: I don`t remember! What's the difference what fingers ... Brunette: It would be interesting to know! Blonde: What have they done with them later? I doesn`t matter in any case! The author do not mention it ... Brunette: Were there any photos? Blonde: Yes-yes! A dude and dudine with bitten off fingers ... imbeciles for sure! Brunette: Did they really bite off their fingers? Blonde: Fuck! Just little fingers! Brunette:Why have you said you don`t remember which fingers? Blonde: Now I`ve remembered! Brunette: Fuck! Blonde: (To a waiter) Bill, please! Brunette: Could you bite off your fingers for the sake of the other person? Blonde: They didn`t bite off their own fingers, they bit off each other`s fingers! Have you grasped it now? They put them into their mouths and bit them off! Brunette: Ugh! It would have been better if he had put his penis into her mouth! Blonde: ... so as she could have bitten it off? Brunette: ... so as she could have sucked it! Blonde: Then where do you see the demonstration of love in it? Brunette: I see it in her sucking his dickhead! Blonde: There`s nothing unnatural in it! Brunette: You think so? As to me I find it very unnatural to suck the thing used for pissing! Blonde: (To a waiter) Thank you! Waiter: This thing is used to give pleasure to you! Brunette: What? Waiter: I say, that thing`s used for giving pleasure to you when you`re being screwed! Therefore, when you suck that thing, you seem to be saying `Thank you!` Brunette: One may think men don`t feel pleasure while fucking either! Does a man feel pleasure if and only if I suck that thing? Waiter: I haven't said that! Brunette: You won`t have any tip due to your having said this! Waiter: But I haven`t said this! Brunette: So you`re insisting on it! Well! Call your manager! Manager: How do you do? Brunette: How do you do? I`d like to report the facts of the bad service at this restaurant! Manager: Excuse me, but what`s going on, after all? Waiter: She contends that blow job is but a process of putting into a woman`s mouth that very thing used for taking a leak! Manager: Yes, it`s really the bad service! Brunette: I was about to discuss not that altogether! Blonde: She was going to say ... Brunette: Speak for yourself! I know what I wanted to say. I wanted to say that there`s nothing natural in this! Manager: In what precisely? Brunette: In a woman`s obligation of sucking that very thing of yours! Manager: I do not see anything supernatural in this either! Brunette: Of course! Because it`s a perverted practice! Manager: Oi, lady! You girl talk like a person who are against the anal sex as an allegedly unnatural practice! Brunette: Right you are! What`s on Earth natural in it? Do you think you`ll manage to impregnate someone by this or it`s just a prophylaxis of haemorrhoids? Manager: I have anal sex because I enjoy it! Brunette: You do because you`re a male! Have you got a lady manager? Manager: Call Lena! Waiter: Lena! Lena: How do you d-o-o-o! Can I be of any service for you? Brunette: Tell me, Lena! Do you like having anal sex? Lena:All in all, yes! Brunette: I think you`re all perverts together here! Lena: Look here! You must be having it in a wrong way! Brunette: To begin with, there`s no way I`m having it! Manager: Great Scott! Girl! How can you discuss things you never tried to do? Brunette: But I did! I tried, but ... Manager: But what? Brunette: Oh, I don't know. I think it`s lamentably awful! Lena: Did you use any lubricants? Brunette: Didn't I just! Lena: You must have had the wrong position! Or you partner must have had too big cock! Brunette: Listen! I had anal sex a hudred of times and you oughtn`t to teach me the positions I should have while having it! Besides, the penis of my partner leaves much to be desired! Waiter: A-a! I guessed you might have a chapped rectum! Brunette: Wha-a-at! All in Chorus Yes! Chap! In rectum! That's an idea like another! If it`s so, that chap, it`s rather painful ... Owner: As far as I can suppose we`ve got a problem. Blonde: Who you? Blonde: I`m the owner of this bar. Brunette: At last! Owner: Well! What`s going on? Waiter: The girl has got a chap in her rectum that prevents her from having anal sex! Manager: Uh-huh! Owner: I have to recommend you a good proctologist. Brunette: Fuck! Are you all fucking cuckoos here? I need no proctologist. That's not the point! Owner: What`s the point then? Brunette: The problem is that my boyfriend has got a lil penis! Owner: My consolations! Lena: Listen! If the penis is not big, it promises a lot of advantages! For instance, you can swallow it almost entirely to the very testicles without taking risks of urging to be sick. Owner: What! You never told me of the feeling of nausea you had! Lena: Just relax, I hadn`t! Sweetheart, I haven`t got no feeling of nausea in bed with you! (addressing to the Brunette) Besides, if a penis is lil and thin, it`s but an ideal for having anal sex! The only thing you must be given beforehand is a cleansing enema! Brunette: What are you talking about? What an enema! Lena: A warm one! Boil some water, cool it to the room temperature and add ad gustum little urine! Just to level the acid balance! Brunette: What urine? Lena: Your own urine! Take a leak into a container and mix it with the warm boiled water. One litre is enough! Brunette: A litre of urine! Am I an elephant? It would take me more than a week to piss such an amount! Lena: A litre of water! Manager: Wait! I`m jotting down! Owner: What do you want to say? You`re really given a cleansing before anal sex? Lena: No, I`m kidding! Inspector: I`ve got an order to close down your restaurant! Owner: On what fucking terrible grounds? Inspector: According to the results of the inspections your entity does not answer the sanitary standards! Brunette: Fuck off, Sir! It`s your problem! Don`t you see we have got a helluva our own problems here? Inspector: What kind of a problem have you got? Manager: Where to take a litre of urine for giving a cleansing enema? Inspector: Has it to be certain urine or any? Brunette: Obviously that certain! It has to be my own urine! Inspector: Why do you need so much urine? Brunette: For levelling the acid-base balance. Inspector: What? You need it to rinse your mouth? Brunette: Fuck you! I gonna put it into my arsehole! Proctologist: How do you do? I`m a proctologist. Brunette: What are you doing here? Proctologist: I am searching for the place where the conference of the 2008 Committee is being held. Owner: What the crap is it? 2008? Proctologist: It`s the year of the next President Elections! Brunette: Fuck you and your fucking President! We`ve got personal problems to care about. Proctologist: What are they? Brunette: I do not know where to find out urine. Proctologist: Remember, where did you leave it last time! (The brunette`s darting off and soon is back again in silence. Everybody`s smoking! Nuclear blast in the background). Characters(in order of appearance): Dasha (Olga Vizovskaya), Masha (Katya Shirokoryad), Waiter (Dmitri Avdeyev), Manager (Kyrill Lukashov), Lena (Lena Lesogorova), Owner (Vadim Gasanov), Owner`s Girlfriend (Anya Korczyk), Inspector (Pasha Savel`yev), Proctologist (Igor` Savenko).
The play which action was being unfolded on the veranda of a Kiyv, Ukraine, coffee bar is finished by the song `Armageddon`s Already Here` by the Ukrainian Russian underground group `The Seventh Race`. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
ARMAGEDDON`S ALREADY HERE!
Yes, we shall pay a bitter price for our experiments
As a result of them we`ll have for food just excrements.
When we`re all the way pressed down with the Bar of Gold
There`ll come a time of tractors that`ll lose not for the world.
The dissolved tin keeps storming in my body`s veins,
Armageddon`s already here, the recompense!
It`s so awful to believe in the frightful revenge,
Armageddon`s already here, the recompense!
The ringing of your bulging purses makes my sleep bad,
Though what else could give to the world the fat cats?
There`s a faint hope that something will appear in your heads,
When you knock yourselves down while lifting your cash.
I fill up myself with some slop to remember who I am
Armageddon`s already here, the recompense!
It`s so awful to believe in the frightful revenge,
Armageddon`s already here, the recompense!
Your worship`s either of Mammon or your glamour gods.
But I know big money sticks to the dirty hands of the mob.
But none`ll be forgotten and nothing will be missed
`Cuz the Last Day leaves no room for the attorney`s fees.
None had a hangover after the absinthe of Chernobyl,
The pungent smoke, ram attacks of the flying trommels.
It`s so awful to believe in the frightful revenge,
Armageddon`s already here, the recompense! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
In the post-Soviet countries `The Seventh Race` is often compared with such bands as `Nirvana`, `Filter`, `Deftones`, `Portishead`, `Tool`. The group is a living legend of the Russian grunge. Its frontman compares their concerts with making love, `cuz when having sex you only thinks of sex. The same thing is with music performing on the stage. He is a professional musician who was a chemistry engineer in the past, Candidate of Chemistry who worked at a secret military plant. He complains of the fact that music is not considered to be a serious profession and real work in the former Soviet Union, it`s treated just as a weekend hobby.
KISSINGER TO A RUSSIAN SCHOLAR: ARE YOU A JEW? NO, I AM RUSSIAN. KISSINGER: THEN I AM AMERICAN! RUSSIAN AND RUSSIAN JEWISH FUNNY STORIES
Legendary Henry Kissinger, the former U.S. Secretary of State.
NOTHING`S IMPOSSIBLE, OR FIGARO QUA, FIGARO LA!
A Russian scholar asks Henry Kissinger:
- What`s is the art of diplomacy? Kissinger: I gonna explain it by giving an example! For instance, I visit Rockfeller and say:
- Mr. Rockfeller, would you like to have a tough Sibirian man as your son-in-law?
- Henry, are you crazy?
- What if he`ll be an investor of the Swiss bank?
- Oh, that changes everything! Kissinger: After that I go to a tough Sibirian man and ask him:
- Do you want marry an ordinary American girl?
- Nope!
- Wanna be Rockfeller`s son-in-law?
- Yep! It`s great! You should have told it at once. Kissinger: Then I go further and visit Rockfeller`s daughter. I ask her:
- Wanna have got a husband who`s investor of a Swiss bank?
- Of course, not! There`s nothing special in it!
- What if it`ll be a tough Siberian man?
- Ye-e-e- s! It`s breath-taking! Simply smashing! Kissinger: That is the art of diplomacy! The art of making impossible things possible and longed-for!
THAT`S A LITTLE FUNNY … The referee counts: One, two, three … The boxer`s second whispering: Look here! Do not get up until eight! The boxer: Clear! But what time is it now?
THE SOVIET IS THE BEST
Khrushev sent the new sort of the Soviet sausage abroad for analysis. The resolution was: `Your excellency! Your feces contain no helminths!`
PROMPT ANSWER
-Is it right that citizens of Odessa (a capital of the Russian Jewry in Ukraine) when asked also ask in response?
-Do you really want to know it?
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
- Rabinovitz, a fly has landed on your head!
- Gonna say I am a piece of shit?
- Me not! But you cannot deceive a fly!
BLESSED INNOCENCE
- Rosa! Haven`t you noticed yet! I`ve been losing my hair! This awesome! How can I keep my hair, eh?
- Abraham, what`s the use of worrying? What a trifle! Lay it into a hat box!
MRS. GROMYKO-MOLOTOFF
What`s the difference between a terrorist and the Jewish mother? You may reach an agreement with a terrorist but not with the Jewish mother!
The U.S. President Ronald Reagan was a good guy! I realized it when I knew that he had once refused to join the important hearings in time until having watched an interesting video all the way. He loved two Russian proverbs. The first was `Trust but verify!`, the second was `Be of use where you were born!` He eagerly shared this folk wisdom of the Russian people with the students of the Moscow University during his official meetings with the Russian leaders in Moscow. I find him attractive as an actor as well.
Wanna marry me?
Besides, he was well aware of the fact that the human race is but one people of this planet. Once he uttered as if casually that if the evil E.T.s had ever invaded the Earth the human beings would`ve felt themselves as a whole! Will you reform and improve you yourselves without violence or else you have the evil UFOs sent to you? (I`m kidding! Do not be afraid, I`m not Fantomas!)
Fantomas: Now you`re all in my hands, earthlings! Ha-ha-ha!
Fantomas: Hello everybody! Show more patience since soon all the Universe will be at my feet! Ha-ha-ha! Helen*: Why are you so cruel? Fantomas: Cruel? I take interest only in scientific researches! Everything is prepared here to blast this planet when I make up my mind to move to the other one. But for the time being the destruction of this humble, miserable world is not my intention. I haven`t extracted everything from it yet! It`s me whom the human race will have to pay to! Ha--ha-ha! Now you`re entirely in my hands! (Right, Monsieur Kissinger?)
(*Actress Marie-Hélène Demongeot(mother of this French actress was Russian Claudia Trubnikova who emigrated to France in 1904)).
LIGHT OF LOVE
- Is it true that the prostitutes of Odessa have got fluorescent eyes?
- Hardly! If it were so, there would have been just white nights in Odessa.
RIGHT ANSWER
What`s an ideal husband? An ideal husband is a deaf, mute and blind shipmaster of an ocean vessel.
GERMANS IN GERMANY, CHINESE IN CHINA! WHO YOU?
Once outstanding German conductor Herbert von Karajan noticed in presence of Russian German pianist Slava Richter that so-and-so music could be performed by a German person exclusively. Slava objected: `Aber ich bin ein Deutscher ...` (But I am a German person!). Maestro didn`t accept his objection. He simply stressed: `Dann ich bin ein Chinese ...` (Then I am a Chinese person!). What is my perception of that situation? I`ve just remembered that ancestors of Karajan moved to Austria in the 18 c. That time they were Greeks and their family name was Karajannis (Black Ian in Greek). Look who's talking! Tee-hee!
RECIPROCAL ARRANGEMENT
When American astronautes moonfell they saw the extraterrestrials. One of Americans pointed out to the UFO and shouted: U.F.O!
An E.T. pointed out to the American landing module and shouted:`Another one!`
A LIITLE ONE AND MERMAID, OR RUN, GEORGE, RUN
A mermaid has come to the surface at a container terminals`s berth. She had got a baby in her hands. Everyone couldn`t believe their eyes, but she inquired: `Folks, don`t you know by any chance the whereabouts of George the diver?`
AN OLD CUNT IN RIBBONS
- Does your brave granny still come downstairs sliding banisters?
- Yes, she does, but not as easy as she did it earlier. We ordered to have barbed wire attached to the banisters! It has essentially slowed her sliding!
SHAVING IS A MAN Doc: Mr. Smith, you`ll have to give up smoking, drinking and fucking since that very day! Mr.Smith: But I am a man, doc, I am a man, aren`t I? Doc: Quite forgot! You may go on with your shaving!
HERE FUCKS THE BODY, OR BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!
The local womanizer has gone. To punish him his wife had him buried naked. His lovers bought a new suit and exhumed him at night, but the coffin was empty. They found only a short note that read: `Dear ladies! Sorry for being absent! Soon I`ll be back! I am in a grave next to mine making love with a beautiful late!`
KEEPER KEEPS!
A lady in the Zoo liked an ostrich`s feather and being burnt with desire to obtain it she asked the keeper: `May I ask you question? Do ostriches lose their feathers?`The keeper replied: `As a rule they do not! But seeing ten dollars dropped to the ground they kick the habit!`
GAY DREAM, OR THE BALL COMES TO THE PLAYER
The couple who was making love at the backseat was disturbed by a cop: `What are you doing here?` The guy answers: I`m fucking my girlfriend! Cop: Well, I gonna be next if you don`t want to have problems! Guy: Wow! I haven`t fucked the policemen yet!
COMPLIMENTED WITH A DOG
- Mr. Hanson, are you pleased with your new dog?
- `Pleased` isn`t a word for it! Every morning it fetches me a fresh newspaper!
- Many dogs acts like this!
- Yes, they do! But it`s me who never subscribes to the newspapers!
WELL, I NEVER! A teenager girl: I gonna have six bottles of portwein!` A salesperson: `It would be very hard for you to carry such a heavy weight, my little one! A teenager girl: Gee! You`re right! I think I`ll have to drink straight from the three bottles on-site.
GENIUS IN THE SHADE
Alexandre Zfassmann (photo of 1939) and Eddie Rosner
Alexandre Zfasmann (Александр Цфасман ) (1906 - 1971) was a Russian Jewish classical and jazz composer. His works could be regularly heard over the radio in Russia. They were considered to have been out of date in the 60s-70s. Besides, he was in the shade of the other big figures like Eddie Rosner, the Polish Jewish emigrant to the USSR who was superpopular in Russia before and after the WW2. It was unjust, because his music was excellent and very individual and sometimes `ausgezeichnet schoen` (inexpressibly beautiful).
Zfasmann - `Snowflakes` (S. Nazarov`s Transcription for 2 Pianos and 8 Hands). Performed by Anna Zharikova, Emilia Ivanova, Daria Ryzhova, Nizhniy Novgorod City, Russia http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=qB-BAEZrjPs. A critic notes that the right piano is a little bit out of tune, the main theme hasn`t been stressed enough against the accessory themes, but on the whole everything`s superb.
LADIES AS MISTRESSES OF THE ELEMENTS
Andrei Usatchov THE JAPANESE LADIES
There was by the sea mountain Fujiyama.
A Japanese lady strolled right against it in the llano.
The Japanese lady sighed as she felt hot
And fanned herself, being in her languor a lot.
There was by the sea mountain Fujiyama.
A Japanese lady, she is number two, emerged in the llano.
She pulled her fan out of the kimono`s sleeve
It made grass lie flat, and it was no kief!
There was by the sea mountain Fujiyama.
A Japanese lady, she is number three, emerged in the llano.
As soon as she touched her magnificent fan,
The housetops were off their places and fell.
There was by the sea mountain Fujiyama.
A Japanese lady, she is number four, emerged in the llano.
With her eyes still closed, in the ladies` way,
She caused in a jiff the tsunami`s rogue wave!
There was by the sea mountain Fujiyama.
A Japanese lady, she is number five, emerged in the llano.
She opened her bag to pull out her fan
And joined Dame Nature`s beltline in Japan.
A Japanese lady, tell me which`s her number,
Appeared, and there was blown sky-high Fuijiyama.
But ladies who`d felt welcome freshness again
They gracefully shut their magnificient fans.
AND NOW IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENS, OH MY!
IN CASE THAT ALL LADIES WOULD EVER UNITE?! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
THE MIRACLES AND UPS AND DOWNS OF LOVE IN MODERN TIMES
AFTER THE RENDEVOUS, OR NEW FRANKENSTEIN
You departed at dawn,
Dressed yourself in a blink.
There left on the pillow
Your green-haired, h'm, wig.
You forgot your white teeth,
Took with you no soft lens,
Artificial eye, other optical things.
The eilashes of yours
I`d to keep as well as
Eyebrows, fingernails,ears,
And your hearing aid.
Plastic arms, a whole pair,
Artificial limbs,
Two inflatable boobs
And your brains` plug-ins.
Now that I sit thinking,
It at last dawned on me
If all this had remained,
Then at dawn what was fleeing? (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
There are cases when the parodies replace original songs or they co-exist in the nowadays folklore of the cities. The below mentioned song was a parody of the excellent song `Not Loved One` by the `A-Studio` group from Kazakhstan.
Temporarily, the original song is almost and unjustly (it`s a song for all times) forgotten as well as no less outstanding A-Studio`s song `I`m a soldier of your love!` while the parody lives! Sooner or later it will make remember the original as well.
THE HORNY ONE
Of a sudden a horny one began to follow,
To my deep sorrow!
He pestered me in the Tube, when on my way,
I was restrained!
But since my home is far from trains
I raced as from the beast of prey ...
He`s been waiting since then
Day by day!
I see the horny one in my dreams every night,
He`s nervous and with a two-days bristle ...
The meagre one .... spectacled ... waits for me
Just for fun.
I`ve been carrying a tear gas to spray,
Its size is great!
Daddy also agreed to see me home
Lest I `d be lost.
But it means no thing to the man,
He looks at my windows all the same,
And, besides, address digits are known.
So the horny one rings me up as to his home,
He even tries to contact me ... through my door`s small keyhole
Hundred times every day ... for all I care!
But when spring`s back to the chief town,
One day he got lost, so I was down ....
I began to miss him as a bridegroom.
Dear horny one, where`s you, I can`t see ...
Although I am sidelined, I can`t wait to meet thee ...
Come back, please, `cuz I wanna be teased! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
POOR LONESOME FUCKING INNOCENT HORNY FROG
A lady frog`s met her friend and told her about her life: `The day before yesterday I was caught up and raped in the quagmire! Yesterday I was grasped and raped in the quagmire! I do not know what to do!`
- I also wonder what are you going to do tonight?
- Gonna go to the quagmire again!
THE SONGS THAT GREW UP AND DEPARTED ITS PARENTS
Igor` Innokentiyevich Aehrenburg (1930-1989), a Moscow painter, poet, lyricist, musician who remained in the shade of many artistes like Alexandre Galich, Vladimir Vysocki, etc. He was not known, it was his songs that aquired a phenomenal popularuty and were treated like the Russian folk songs (living urbane folklore). The fact that they had the definite Jewish colour changes nothing since the musical heritage of Odessa, the Russian Jewish capital in Ukraine, always was a part of the Russian cultural tradition.
Konstantin Belyaev is performing Igor` Aehrenburg`s song `На параде к тёте Наде...`(Literally `On parade to aunt Nadya` that I translated as `Parade and Aunt Jane` because name Nadya (from Nadezhda, literally `Hope`) speaks nothing to the non-Russian speaking readership - http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=btE7Hz4jQ9o
PARADE AND AUNT JANE
It`s on parade that to Aunt Jane a young comissar
Walked up and began to peer from behind, behind into the sky.
Airforce`s aircrafts in the skies are plenty, plenty ...
And aunt Jane is suffocated in her flannelette long panties.
Refrain
The cavalry`s galloping in Red Square
While drawing the wheeled and armoured panzers.
Aunt Jane`s against their having sex
Although the comissar`s belt is unfasten.
All the present at attention!
Screams and squeals, screams and squeals!
Stalin`s going out of the Kremlin, our helmsman and big chief!
He`s approaching the Mausoleum, he is cool, he is cool!
The comissar being sort of horny exposed his sinewy tool!
Refrain
The cavalry`s galloping in Red Square
While drawing the wheeled and armoured panzers.
The comissar`s against their having sex
The comisssar`s against their having sex
Though Aunt Jane`s belt has been unfasten.
All the fans sat down again!
Peace and quiet, peace and quiet.
In silence dead right from the stand
There has started a Stalin`s riot.
The comissar is coming closer:
`Dear Dad, Dear Dad!
May I insert my erect penis into Jane?`
Refrain
The cavalry`s galloping in Red Square
While drawing the wheeled and armoured panzers.
Aunt Jane is making upward movements there
Aunt Jane is making upward movements there
The comissar`s up to his belt in her vagina. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
The march you can here in the video is the official military march of the Russian Airforce - `March of the aviators` (`We`re born to make the fairy tales come true ... `) by two Jewish authors - Yuliy Abramovich Hait (Music) and Pavel Davydovich German (Lyrics) in 1920.
Yuliy Hait and Leni Riefenstahl
Soviet march of aviators and German march `Herbei zum Kampf` (common for the SA and Luftwaffe). What can I say to this? Long live Russian-German-Israeli friendship! Why? Their combine creative force is simply smashing! All three must understand and sincerely accept and love one another eventually! Am I right, Herr Henry Kissinger? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMxf4tPuGj8&feature=player_detailpage
Later it was adopted by the German communists (that time Dr. Jozef Goebbels also was a communist!) and after that by the German national socialists as their marching song "Herbei zum Kampf" performed also in Leni Riefenstahl`s propaganda masterpiece of the `Triumph of the Will` (1936).
Воскресенье, 27 Октября 2013 г. 20:36
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SERGEI VASILIYEVICH FOREVER, OR GLORY TO MR. UKUPNIK!
Sergei Vasiliyevich (he is always addressed in Russia by his full name including his patronimic) Chelobanov is the most respected Russian pop idol though he has nothing to do with the pop music. Yes, he is an excellent arranger whose talent saved many mediocre songs and some of them he even managed to turn into the real hits. Yes, at present he used to sing the ordinary pop songs together with other Russian pop stars and even performs so called Russian chanḉon, a genre of Russian criminal song that has got a tremendous commercial potential. So why does he have nothing to do with the Russian pop music mainstream?
The first legendary album!
Because he created his own inimitable style that he had been developing since the early 90s. All his most outstanding singles and albums belong to the short but bright period of 1990 – 1996. Since then so many hits have vahished, so many names have faded, so many stars have become dim … but his works of art are still alive and kicking and adored by listeners. Generations follows, yet every new generation recruits his new and ardent fans. People, young and not very young, agree that he is (quotations!) the KING, TREMENDOUS TALENT (capital letters! WOW! –A.A.O) and his songs and videoclips of the 90s are still `absolutely modern works` and, so to say, quite something!
One of confessions of his fan explains much, if not all: `All that he performs seems to be sexual, even the multiplication table …`. But it doesn`t mean that his fans are women only. He is a singer for all, even for the very musicians. When I bought his CD in a music shop in Russia, salespersons, the former musicians and pop singers, looked at me with the greatest respect. He has been (quotation) the eternal source of happiness, joy and love!!!`…`for many Russians since his first appearance on stage. Cool! I wish I were him! If he had died young … that would have been a loss for Russia, but fortunately he survived despite his life was not easy.
He was born in 1961 on the Volga river in the industrial townlet where there were only a machine building plant and a nuclear power plant! His mother was a teacher of music, his dad guided the work (managed, if to say simpler) of a plant`s shop, there was nothing special in it, therefore they were sooner the rank and file citizens rather than bosses, the more so because the townlet where they dwelt reminded a great deal of the Afro-American quarter somewhere in America, it was a kind of the Southern Central in Los Angeles. Therefore we have the right to suggest that he should have been a hooligan that time. Yes, he was, he was a teenager who used to fight with other boys. As he once said, `the hooligans easily identified the other hooligans in the streets`. Yet he had some advantage as he was a boxer and he had enough luck to remain healthy.
That time gangs of the teenagers would fight one another with the help of the bicycle chains, reinforcement rods and some other paraphernalia, but mainly they did it with their iron fists. Those battles never suggested using knives, it was the informally, but strictly forbidden practice. Sergei Vasiliyevich had two of his fingers broken that was just a pure trifle and even could not stop his learning in the music school. Yes, he learned to read notes and spent nights by listening to and writing down the most complicated passages of Richie Blackmore`s guitar playing. Besides he formed his own rock group that played the music of the Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, Al Jarreau, James Brown and The Beatles.
By his 15 he had been involved into the professional boxing though it was forbidden by the Russian legislation. Despite this he managed to become a champion, a sportive and rock star of his high school. And, of course, he caught the star fever. One day he abused a girlfriend of the other guy and as a result was severely beaten by the company of tough guys who had waylayed him in the street dealock. Next time someone abused his own girlfriend and he also acted in the same way. That time Russia for the first time knew what the drugs and drug-addicts were … First folks were seduced by marijuana, then by heroin. Alas, Sergei Vasiliyevich could not avoid these things either. It cost him two detentions in the Russian prison. Then he was in Army and it was only then that he was back home and met his own family and two children born before his absence. Soon he unexpectedly managed to join the famous Russian rock group (the Integral) that was on tour in the Volga cities.
The professional career of a musician, arranger and singer began, but was about to have been abrupted due to the permanent intrigues in the group. Sergei Vasilievich dropped everything and escaped to Moscow where he had no serious connections. He had got several tapes that contained records of his songs. He had recorded them with his own group `H-Band` before the prison and Army. Moscow showed mercy to him, he managed to find a work of an arranger and soon it brought him recognition. His luck smiled at him with a smile of Arkadiy Ukupnik. This clever Russian Jew and excellent, cheerful guy was a part of the suite of the Russian pop music superstar Alla Pugachova.
Arkadiy Ukupnik
Arkadiy Ukupnik graduated from the prestigious Bauman technological intitute in Moscow where he studied welding but then he had to become a musician and singer due to economic crisis and industrial problems in Russia in the 90s. He handed Sergei Vasilievich`s cassetts to Vladimir Presnyakov, then he was a son-in-law of Pugachova, and great Diva who once spent her evening listening to the tapes sent to her by many starting pop-singers startled when she heard the specific voice and intonation of Sergei Vasiliyevich. She ordered to have him brought to her. Thus, again all of a sudden the real career of his began. Its first stage was accompanied by the passionate romance with Alla Pugachova. The whole country witnessed their love story that had lasted for four years.
(Sorry for my slip of the pen, earlier I quite subconsciously used `he` instead of `she`when describing that Russian Diva. I think it was a pure Freudian slip of the pen since there are no sexual differentiation in her suite and she rules as a King rather than a queen. She would have been a queen, my blue friends, if she had been a male! If you do not believe me, ask my friend Dr. Fun (Freud)!
Hi, there! I`m Dr.Fun (Freud). I am back!
Dr. FUN`S PLAIN, SOCIAL AND MEDICAL SERMON: Humanum errare est! (To err is human!) It sounds very exact. Would you trust me if not my divine mistakes, eh? No, you wouldn`t! You woud have said that I was an unpleasant bossy jerk! If really am, I`m sorry! (You see I made it again, I made a mistake, I missed the personal pronoun `I`, because my precious Ego resisted being `a ... jerk` all right!) So, objectively, I am not, `cuz I am not perfect! Mistakes are one of the tropes for me, one of the ways of expression! Good is an enemy of the best! Best is perishable, good is eternal! (I said it!). Quite forgot, slips of the pen and of the tongue are expressive and therefore especially precious! What could we do if there were no mistakes? Gay people are a mistake, but it`s a human mistake! Meanwhile being a human suggests as a final, supreme ideal being humane. Alas (I mean by that `quite well`) that I am absolutely perfect in this respect! (Touch wood! Knock-knock!) `Humane human` isn`t it an actual agenda of the world? Isn`t it the main thing that Absolut really wants from folks? First he urged human beings on halting cannibalism, then on stoppage of sacrificing human beings to the false gods which often were the pure neuroses and a result of mental disfunctions caused by the hostile and harsh natural and social environment. Now he wants people to be humans implying by that `humane` (not tolerant, but humane). Why not tolerant? Because to be tolerant means compulsion and self-compulsion for the sake of political or cultural values dominant in a society. To be humane means to feel pity, to be kind in a way that would hardly ruin your inner world. Earlier priests bullied folks, now gays bully the folks (including priests)! The old good violence goes on triumphantly because the real motivation of all groups of people remains dominance, power, pride. Stop bullying one another! There are no chiefs among you except for those either pre-planned by Absolut or chosen by you yourselves (or your privileged folks) in the elections. Be humans, be reciprocally humane, be humane humans and you have a lot of love and fun! Dr. Fun
Alla Pugachova and Sergei Vasiliyevich Chelobanov
Chelobanov is the only Russian pop singer who is addressed always with the mandatory use of his patronimic, Sergei Vasiliyevich. He owes this tradition to Alla Pugatchova. She was (and still is) a superstar, but even she also couldn`t help respecting him as a unique talent and rare phenomenon of the Russian pop culture. Some folks really think that his biography is a fiction, they suppose him to be an extraterrestrial from the planet of Ocean inhabited by the whales and dolphins sapiens who put their consciousness and minds into the anthropomorphous body and sent that person to our planet. (It reminds me of O:ki Isana (literally`Big Tree Brave Whale` 大木勇魚), hero of Mr. Oe Kanzaburo`s Japanese novel `The Flood invades my spirit` (Кэндзабуро Оэ "И объяли меня воды до души моей" - 大江 健三郎 - 洪水はわが魂に及び)
Yes, Sergei Vasiliyevich screams and moans and sighs as a giant whale when he sings his strange songs, he is a stranger (at the least he was and seemed to have been a stranger in the past). Yet we can`t call him an alien due to the negative connotation of that word. He`s kind, he`s calm, he`s cool. His credo seems to be expressed by him as follows: `To dream means to part with the real life, and I no longer dream and it lasts rather long. I enjoy every second of my living in this planet! That`s all! (`Мечтать - это значит отрываться от реальности, и я давно уж не мечтаю. Я наслаждаюсь каждой секундой проживания на этой планете! Вcе!).`
Music by Vitaly Okorokov
Arrangement by S.V. Chelobanov
Lyrics by Sergei Tyapkin KISS ME, GIRL
You`re shining with the all colours of the rainbow
As an iridescent oil slick on the surface of a river wave.
You`ve got no idea of joy when you`re yelling with ecstasy.
I do know it,
So you do come here!!!
Refrain #1
Your coloured eyes, they`re two television sets
Wealth of your hair reminds of the LPG fumes*.
Kiss!
I`m pleading for an insignificance!
All the same you will have to kiss,
If not me, then somebody else!
Refrain #2
Kiss me,
Girl! (thrice)
A-a! (whale`s moaning)
Because kissing is
A general rule!
I am remembering the way the beer froths …
One of the little nothings of life,
But an insignificance of a pаramount type.
Look here, girl! What if we`ve got married, eh?
I don`t care about whom,
Since it`s the way it's supposed to be done!
Refrain #1
Refrain #2
Because kissing is
A general …
A-a! (whale`s moan) (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Music, Arrangement by S.V. Chelobanov
Lyrics by Alexandre Shaganov THE BLOCKHEAD
She is not of yours, not of yours,
Your presenting her with rings is on a fool's errand
She is not of yours, not of yours,
It`s no use of your kissing her, you blockhead!
Why do you need her, that chick,
Just to have your needless fun and then go!
You`ll deprave her, you blockhead,
And will hardly tell her: `Sorry!`
Refrain
Eccentric fellow, you`re an idol,
Yet she`s not a girl of yours!
Scarlet necktie, you`re a tough guy,
Yet she`s not a girl of yours!
She is not of yours, not of yours,
Even if you sing to her, you blockhead.
Even if you gonna pour out her a glass of wine,
She is not a girl of yours, I can bet it!
Sending a challenge, I am to ruin myself
But you`ll also be on the edge of a volcano.
It`s because I love her to death,
I scorn danger and I despise you!
Refrain
I see you know all, you comprehend all,
But she is not of yours, beware!
Music by Sergei Chelobanov
Lyrics by Vasily (Basil) Artyushkov THE UFO
Once I went out from my home, when it snowed,
I saw somewhere faraway …
He is so considerate, Alain Delon,
Very charming person and …
Refrain
Oh yes, that`s it, of course!
Gonna walk and have a talk,
I couldn`t wait to gaze… ! What? Late?
Gonna walk and have a talk,
Where have you been? To where, where disappeared?
Once I went out from my home, long ago,
I saw somewhere faraway … an UFO.
He is so considerate, that UFO
Very charming thing and …
Refrain
Again I went out from my home, I was alone!
But it is so volatile, that UFO!
Where is you, my charming thing, the UFO?
I could not wait to see you, pal, just once more!
Music by Vitaliy Okorokov,
Lyrics by Alla Pugatchova MY GOD!
For the first time I saw you by white night
Sorrow made its home in your nice eyes.
You told me, `I need you badly, … my knight!`
And tried to stanch the sobbing for a while.
Refrain
My God! Half of my life I dreamed of this!
My God! But words of hers were a surprise!
My God! To live I wanted, not exist,
I felt so sick of waiting bliss, I was so tired!
My God! Now I don`t know what to say!
My God! It is too late for us to start!
My God! Protect me if I met my fate!
I`ve greatly changed since our first night!
Since our first night!
You`re extending arms to me with passion
Gonna to embrace me, kiss my nose.
I cannot resist the love`s sweet torments,
But I feel our love goes towards the close.
Refrain
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! (several times)
Why are you crying?
Please, stop your crying!
Please, wipe your tears!
You`re a belle, my dear!
(The candles flickered!)
No longer words!
Keep silence, please!
Oh, my God! (three times)
All is just vain hopes!
Oh, my God! Forgive, this day has come for us!
Oh, my God! The words are meaningless, no chance!
Oh, my God! Both you and me are different now,
Our hopes are vain,
All`s vain around!
All`s vain around! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Music Arkadiy Ukupnik,
Lyrics Kyrill Krastoszewski THE SUITE
Refrain
Suite`s as firm as a monolith
Suite is a secret, an enigma
Suite!
Now you`re one of the suite – all doors are open, you`re fit,
Yes, yes, yes, oh yeah!
Now you`ve got a new robe, there came true every hope!
Yes, yes, yes, oh yeah!
You`re among the merited, soon you`ll be a recipient,
You laugh loudly in chorus, be obidient, get your bonus!
Suite, suite
Of the omnipotent queen!
Refrain
Now you`re one of the suite – all who`s there have their fill,
Yes, yes, yes, oh yeah!
If at table or in bed, you`re always in the black
Yes, yes, yes, oh yeah!
Family of yours is proud, they`re often guests in routs,
Say a word for any fool, the only answer will be: `Cool!`
Refrain
Suite, suite
Of the omnipotent queen!
Suite`s as firm as a monolith
Suite`s a secret, the best shield!
Suite!
All the queen`s men in the suite they`re also tiny kings
Yes, yes, yes, oh yeah!
They`re proud, lose no moment, always ready to be ordered.
But in life there happens so, suddenly the queen has gone!
After that all disappear, the suite no longer loved and needed,
Tee-hee!
Suite, suite
But in life there happens so,
Suite, suite
Suddenly the queen has gone!
Suite, suite
No longer loved and needed
Suite, suite
Suite, suite (bye-bye!)
Of the omnipotent queen!
Suite (tee-hee!)
Suite`s as firm as a monolith
Suite, suite (bye-bye!)
Suite`s the best shield!
Bye-bye,
Suite! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
This videoclip shows the real suite of the Russian pop queen Alla Pugatchova, some of her servants who are nowadays the first-rate pop stars and who owed much, if not everything to her. But Sergei Vasiliyevich is special, the former favourite is beyond competition and intrigues.
NOT A KING IN THE RING
Singer Sergei Vasilievich versus showman Nikita Dzhigurda (from the TV show `King of the ring`). This show inspired by the leading Russian TV journalist of the French and American decent Vladimir Pozner suggests a single combat of the Russian male pop stars as boxers in the ring. Both Chelobanov and Nikita were the boxers in their youth and even local champions. Nikita won, because Sergei Vasiliyevich did not his best. (The whole scene makes remember the evegreen children`s question, `Dad, who`s stronger, after all, a whale or elephant? Who`ll overcome?)
Obviously, Nikita needed this victory more than Sergey Vasilievich. The latter got his own in his youth, and he seems to be demonstrating something like that `Now go and get yours!` Besides, I can add there`s no boxing without everyday exercises. Besides both guys were 46-47 years old when they joined the Pozner`s provocative initiative.
As to Arkadiy Ukupnik that excellent Russian pop composer, singer and showman he is also by chance considered by people to be another extraterrestrial who was exiled from his native planet for being like American rock singer, musician, and songwriter Frank Zappa one of `the mothers of invention`, since his songs also unexepectedly combine the miscellaneous things, i.e. catchy tunes with humour and mild satire and are always very spectacular.
Butterfly and Zhuangzi
莊子 Vs. 蝴蝶
昔者莊周夢為蝴蝶，栩栩然蝴蝶也，自喻適志與，不知周也。俄然覺，則蘧蘧然周也。不知周之夢為蝴蝶與，蝴蝶之夢為周與？周與蝴蝶則必有分矣。此之謂物化。 Once Zhuangzi dreamt he was a butterfly, a butterfly flitting and fluttering around, happy with himself and doing as he pleased. He didn't know he was Zhuangzi. Suddenly he woke up and there he was, solid and unmistakable Zhuangzi. But he didn't know if he was Zhuangzi who had dreamt he was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming he was Zhuangzi. Between Zhuangzi and a butterfly there must be some distinction! This is called the Transformation of Things. (2, tr. Burton Watson 1968:49)
Yet, his fans and critics suspecting him of being one of the extraterrestrials admit that (citation) `we miss the guess if to negate that he got acclimatized very well here, among us` (`Как не трудно догадаться, он хорошо тут прижился!`)`(end of citation).
Gestapo, Abwehr, they`re now overworked,
Spring gonna come to Germany at last.
Spy Stierlitz had the VHF once more switched on
Just to transmit to Moscow what`s the weather like in Reich.
The message right from Bern is sent by pastor Schlag,
That oldman is a Voroshilov sniper in his heart,
He plods his way on snowshoes alone high on the Alps
He executes an order - a quick march to Vatican.
Pastor Schlag, Stierlitz`s Catholic connection, on his way to Vatican to destroy Allen Welsh Dulles` secret negotiations in Switzerland with the Natzi behind the back of the Kremlin yellow-eyed tiger.
Refrain
Standartenfuehrer Stierlitz
Who is as blonde as glitzy
Fired point-blank,
But was not frank.
Standartenfuehrer Stierlitz
Who is as blonde as glitzy
Walked in the wood with a German beaut.
`You must kapitulieren`, I`ll marry you.
`You must kapitulieren`, I`ll marry you.
Von Stierlitz was Gestapo Mueller`s benjamin
He used to pay in Reichsmarks and forgot of roubles.
His telegraphist Kate would never tell
Who was the father of her child to stay in Reich.
But Moscow orders him all time to buy
The souveniers both from Munich and Berlin
The Mercedes, the trainers `Adidas`
And all those goods to send home as relief.
Refrain
Standartenfuehrer
Standartenfuehrer SS
Standartenfuehrer SS
Standartenfuehrer SS
Refrain (Twice) (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Maximillian Otto von Stierlitz (his protype was Willi Breitenbach, the only and quite quickly exposed by the Gestapo (Geheimes Staatspolizei – the Secret State Service) agent of the Soviet intelligence in Prinz Albrecht Str. in time of the 3rd Reich) is a well-known Russian character of the TV serial `17 Instants of Spring` from the same name novel by Julian Semyonov (Liandress), the popular Soviet writer of political fiction books and the chief editor of the `Sovershenno Sekretno`(`Top Secret`) Weekly.
In the hallways of Prinz Albert Str. headquarters:
- What the matter with Stierlitz?
- Ah, never mind! He is celebrating the 23th of February (Red Army Day). Doesn`t he have a right to behave as a true Soviet military officer once in a year?https://youtu.be/cG30v_jPeQY
Standartenfuehrer Stierlitz became a hero of the numberless Russian funny stories along with the other characters of the serial such as `Daddy Mueller` (Heinrich Mueller, Chief of the Gestapo), Walter Schellenberg (Chief of the SD - Sicherheitsdiesnst) and Martin Bormann, the right hand of Adolf Hitler.
Among all the Standartenfuehrers Standartenfuehrer Stierlitz was the only one loved by the all Soviet people. Mueller: Stierlitz, my friend, you wanted to see these documents! Take the file! Stierlitz: Jawohl (Yessir!), Obergruppenfuehrer! Nicht verstehen! (I don`t understand!) Mueller: Stierlitz, my friend, I`ve been working with you for years! You`re a silent person! I like silent people! But I can`t help noticing a special feature of yours. You all the time say either `Jawohl!` or `Nicht verstehen!` That`s all! How can you explain it to me? How, my friend? Stierlitz: Mr. Gruppenfuehrer, while appreciating your kind attention, I wanna discover a little secret of mine! (here and further he speaks with heavy Central Asian accent!) I learned German in a village school, but the teacher of German escaped with a village accountant. Therefore we were being taught the German language by an agronomist! He was Kirghiz by his nationality. Mueller: Then all`s clear! Thank you, you may now stand down. Take the file with you! Do not leave it! Donnerwetter! (God damn it!) It`s high time to solve the urgent problem of the migrant workers! Stierlitz: I`m sorry! I haven`t said Auf Wiedersehen (Good-bye!) yet! Or Guten Morgen? (Good morning!) Something like that, am I right? Mueller: Yes-yes, friendship-Freundschaft!
The performer of the part of Walter Schellenberg (Oleg Tabakov) showed everybody in Moscow the letter from Walter`s relatives who thanked him for truthful reflection of that personality in the TV serial until the KGB recommended him to stop it.
Stierlitz (Tikhonov)&Schellenberg (Tabakov) in the TV serial - Let's Face the Music and Dance https://youtu.be/rHnZFHV4hGE
The Andropov`s KGB supported that TV mega-project that turned out to be a longstanding part of the Soviet political mythology and was very pleased with the results as well as the general audience of the early 70s was. But having descended to the wide masses Stierlitz very soon became an integral part of the Russian urban folklore. His performer Vyacheslav Tikhonov while playing Stierlitz was Aryan, handsome, serious, intelligent, kind, nice, initiative and firm at the same time. He easily killed traitors and useless informers and never underestimated the enemies.
Stierlitz cold-bloodedly kills his agent Klaus (actor Lev Durov) to keep the important secrets undisclosed and literally dramatizes the Russian idiom `to hide the ends into the water` (i.e. `and no one will be any the wiser`). https://youtu.be/Af1D-1EuE9Q
Besides he wore a very nice black SS uniform! You gonna object to it? You say it was not nice? How cheap is your antifascism! This very attractive uniform, however, seduced not a single youngster in Germany! It was an essential part of the first-rate propaganda in Reich! The main intrigue of the TV serial to the greater extent written and shot by the Soviet Jews was being unfolded in the corridors and offices of the Gestapo and SD, in museums of the natural history, in the Berlin inns (`Zum Elephant`) and along the highways in the cars. (I mentioned Jews in the connection with that serial not only because they wrote and shot it, but also because it`s owing to their ineradicable and masochistic love of Germany and Germans that this anti-Nazi film happened to become so truthful and improbably exact in very many respects). The show was well-known in the former German Democratic Republic (GDR) as well. (By the way, it was rather a good country sui generis but it was betrayed in 1989 by shameless Moscow in the same manner as American allies in Vietnam in 1975 were betrayed by no less pragmatic Washington). Yet German unity was worthwhile and therefore we mustn`t mourn over the glorious but short recent past of East Germany. Zum Henker! What is done cannot be undone!
Actor Vyacheslav Tikhonov as Max Otto von Stierlitz and Hauptsturmfuehrer SS Wilhelm Lehmann (Willy Breitenbach), the prototype of Stierliz (aka Isayev aka Vladimirov)
When Arkadiy Ukupnik created his videoclip dedicated to Stierlitz as a folklore character and therefore shot in the humorous style he quite unexpectedly for the 90s confronted an anonymous aggressive telephone response from the unknown persons who were ready to blame him for blasphemy, sacrilege and profanity of the Soviet motherland. It was very serious threats and Arkadiy disavowed his videoclip and repented his political sins in public for any chance. His brilliant career could have been destroyed. This very time the rascals were destroying the great empire and were greedily stealing everything that could be stolen, but nobody theatened them. If I were in Ukupnik`s place I would fuck off the political blackmailers! Scoundrels! What did they do to keep their Soviet Union? They enjoy the horror of their victims as vampires, they`ve got souls of true sadists and cowards. As to the song and videoclip they`re dandy, aren`t they? The videoclip is alive and kicking while the old fools who frightened the artiste must have been in hell long ago! That`s where they belong! Inquisitors! Nebuchadnezzars!
Mr. Kim Filby. Though he lost his silent war he remained a Britisher, gentleman and honest man all the way. He struggled for his ideals of better future for all humankind as he saw them.
Sidney George Reilly (someone Rosenbluem born in Odessa City, Russia) who is considered to have been a model for Ian Fleming`s James Bond served the British Crown with good faith and fidelity but remained a dirty rotten pig from Odessa. The fact that he disliked Russia to clinical distraction changes nothing, in principle. He wasn`t a gentleman. He was soldier of misfortune executed by the personal order of Joseph Stalin as a pesky fly. Besides his death must have signalled the readiness and willingness of the young Soviet intelligence to challenge on a par the old and experienced Intelligence Service of Great Britain.
P.S. When Britisher Kim Filby, the outstanding Soviet spy, was asked about Stierlitz in the screen he answered that the guy with such a face and behaviour would have been exposed within three days. Ohrfeige, nicht wahr?(Slap in the face, isn`t it?) Be professional, it makes sense! And do not ignore experts! Trifles are also important. (In the above mentioned TV serial every single detail was taken into account except for the fact that there were siphons instead of carafes in the offices of the premises in Prinz Albrecht Str. in Berlin). And love whales and dolphines both extraterrestrial and native ones. And everything will be good! Ciao!
Kanaris to Schelenberg in time of his arrest in June 1944: - Love dogs, Walter, they never betray!
Ms. Alla Rozvadovskaya thinks that she discovered the secret of Mona Lisa! Though I think that there`s no secret at all, her theory is very interesting and has got its right to existence. Alla says that if to cut the picture by half vertically right in its centre there gonna appear an ideal landscape behind Mona Lisa. (Therefore the secret of Mona Lisa is not her charming smile but also the background of the picture).
After cutting the picture in the way mentioned above we have got a man and a woman sitting side by side. The figure to the left corresponds to the male appearance of that epoch. The figure to the right looks like a woman of that time. As to the landscape it becomes ideal, both parts are fit each other ideally, a single mountain range, the trees stand in line, the road goes along the river. The black vertical strip in the centre is a column. The edges of the picture were formerly cut and as a result the column is not wide enough.
Summing up, the picture shows us a couple sitting in the bacony against the lanscape that is likely to be easily recognized by the art historians. (By Alla Rozvadovskaya - Алла Розвадовская)
King Lear and Fool (Russian feature film `King Lear` from William Shakespeare`s play (1971). Film director Grigoriy Kozintzev (1905 - 1973). King Lear – Estonian actor Jüri Järvet (1919 -1995). Fool – Russian actor Oleg Dahl (1941 -1981)(he had got Danish roots).
Jüri Järvet, Oleg Dahl, Grigoriy Kozintsev
KING LEAR
What art thou? KENT
A very honest-hearted fellow, and as poor as the king. KING LEAR
If thou be as poor for a subject as he is for a king, thou art poor enough. What wouldst thou? KENT
Service. KING LEAR
Who wouldst thou serve? KING LEAR
Follow me; thou shalt serve me: if I like thee no worse after dinner, I will not part from thee yet. Enter Fool Fool
Let me hire him too: here's my coxcomb. Offering KENT his cap KING LEAR
How now, my pretty knave! how dost thou? Fool
Sirrah, you were best take my coxcomb. KENT
Why, fool? Fool
Why, for taking one's part that's out of favour: nay, an thou canst not smile as the wind sits, thou'lt catch cold shortly: there, take my coxcomb: why, this fellow has banished two on's daughters, and did the third a blessing against his will; if thou follow him, thou must needs wear my coxcomb. How now, nuncle! Would I had two coxcombs and two daughters! KING LEAR
Why, my boy? Fool
If I gave them all my living, I'ld keep my coxcombs myself. There's mine; beg another of thy daughters. KING LEAR
Take heed, sirrah; the whip. Fool
Truth's a dog must to kennel; he must be whipped out, when Lady the brach may stand by the fire and stink. KING LEAR
A pestilent gall to me! Fool
Sirrah, I'll teach thee a speech. KING LEAR
Do. Fool
Mark it, nuncle:
Have more than thou showest,
Speak less than thou knowest,
Lend less than thou owest,
Ride more than thou goest,
Learn more than thou trowest,
Set less than thou throwest;
Leave thy drink and thy whore,
And keep in-a-door,
And thou shalt have more
Than two tens to a score. KENT
This is nothing, fool. Fool
Then 'tis like the breath of an unfee'd lawyer; you gave me nothing for't. Can you make no use of nothing, nuncle? KING LEAR
Why, no, boy; nothing can be made out of nothing. Fool (To KENT) Prithee, tell him, so much the rent of his land comes to: he will not believe a fool. KING LEAR
A bitter fool! Fool
Dost thou know the difference, my boy, between a bitter fool and a sweet fool? KING LEAR
No, lad; teach me. Fool Singing
That lord that counsell'd thee
To give away thy land,
Come place him here by me,
Do thou for him stand:
The sweet and bitter fool
Will presently appear;
The one in motley here,
The other found out there. KING LEAR
Dost thou call me fool, boy? Fool
All thy other titles thou hast given away; that thou wast born with. KENT
This is not altogether fool, my lord. Fool
No, faith, lords and great men will not let me; if I had a monopoly out, they would have part on't:and ladies too, they will not let me have all fool to myself; they'll be snatching. Give me an egg, nuncle, and I'll give thee two crowns. KING LEAR
What two crowns shall they be? Fool
Why, after I have cut the egg i' the middle, and eat up the meat, the two crowns of the egg. When thou clovest thy crown i' the middle, and gavest away both parts, thou borest thy ass on thy back o'er the dirt: thou hadst little wit in thy bald crown,
when thou gavest thy golden one away. If I speak like myself in this, let him be whipped that first finds it so. Singing
Fools had ne'er less wit in a year;
For wise men are grown foppish,
They know not how their wits to wear,
Their manners are so apish. KING LEAR
When were you wont to be so full of songs, sirrah? Fool
I have used it, nuncle, ever since thou madest thy daughters thy mothers: for when thou gavest them the rod, and put'st down thine own breeches, Singing
Then they for sudden joy did weep,
And I for sorrow sung,
That such a king should play bo-peep,
And go the fools among.
Prithee, nuncle, keep a schoolmaster that can teach thy fool to lie: I would fain learn to lie. KING LEAR
An you lie, sirrah, we'll have you whipped. Fool
I marvel what kin thou and thy daughters are: they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou'lt have me whipped for lying; and sometimes I am whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any kind o' thing than a fool: and yet I would not be thee, nuncle; thou hast pared thy wit o' both sides, and left nothing i' the middle: here comes one o'
the parings.
ADDING ZEST TO LIFE
Nikita Dhzigurda [jee-goor-da - stressed is the last syllable](born 1961, Kiev, Ukraine) is very popular in Russia. It would be better and more just to say that due to mass-media everyone knows him in the former USSR as the All-Russia`s Fool! But he is not somebody`s fool. He is a Shakesperian FooL minus King Lear or any other master. He is a drama actor, script writer, film director, singer and what not! He is almost two meter tall, he is the former boxer and Ukranian champion rower. He is a coward and stupid blockhead. He is brave and devlishly clever at the same time. He is rich, at the least, for a Russian actor. He`s reasonable and prudent. Not a fool at all! His wife is Marina Anisina, the former figure skating champion, Russian woman and French citizen. He`s got five children (he was married three times). He is a fiery fox - he is red-haired giant. In a word, he is a FOOL all right. A fool from capital ... letter. In the morning he mocked of the homosexual persons, but in the evening he himself walked along the streets in Moscow downtown wearing the ladies` undies. He mocks of everything and everyone, except for the politicians and business people. The laughing matters are not for them! Both locally and globally! As to business people they give money ... for motion pictures and it`s not a joke!
Nikita is well aware that he is not Smirnov-Sokol`sky whom Stalin used to introduce to the foreign diplomats as his own, personal fool. By this reason Smirnov-Sokol`sky could say everything about everybody. And he did it despite the GULAG. He had a safe conduct!
Nikolai Smirnov-Sokolsky, the personal fool of Joseph Stalin and at a time entertainer, master of ceremonies, writer, journalist, books historian who collected more than 1000 rare books and ancient manuscripts. Joseph Stalin. And to the right Alexandre Werth (1901 - 1969) who was a Russian-born, naturalized British writer, journalist, and war correspondent who spent most of his life in ... France! It was him who revealed a secret of the `lost` Russian lieutenant (see below)
Dzhigurda hasn`t got such a document, and therefore his satire and performances are by perforce not political, they`re mainly social, or literary ones. As a rule, he curses like a trooper on the air, but he does it as a poet and actor. For example (see below), he likes to recite a poem consisting of just one Russian word of three letters defining the male genitals.
Three cheerful letters!
This word you can often see in Russia on the fences, walls and in the entrances. He uses the word `hui`хуй (vulg., tabooed `penis`) as a verb, as a substantive, as all parts of speech, as subject, predicate, adjective, etc. and after that he citates the indecent poem by Alexandre Pushkin not well-known for the general public to defend himself and even more shock philistines. Unfortunately, to translate Nikita`s poem consisting of just one word is absolutely impossible.
Nikita Dzhigurda recites indecent poem comprising just one, but changing word. By the way, this is a word from the common vocabulary of all the Slavic languages and it must be originating from the Etruscan language where it is likely to have had got the normal usage. As a rule, the Etruscan words would explain the dark meaning of many Slavic words, for instance, цыплёнок (a chicken) that in Etruscan just meant `tridactylous`. But most of all I like that many Slavic peoples kept the great Ethruscan tradition of sex equality and sex cooperation! (Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=im-NSEZHr-0).
By the way, Stalin also liked a good joke, and once before the WW2 he even presented a young Russian lieutenant of Red Army to an influential and blue British lord. The young military officer accompanied British V.I.P. as an interpreter and ... lover. After they left for the UK, Stalin asked Beria, chief of Russian Gestapo to find the lost officer, but he failed and his helplessness made Stalin laugh and have much fun! It would be interesting to get to know the further fate of that interpreter who was lucky to escape from the USSR in the most frightful time of its history.
Nikita could have easily be a character of the below following poem! I don`t doubt it even in the least! A policeman says to him that performances are forbidden in Red Square. Nikita insolently retorts that it has not been a performance but a burst of joy! Well done and said, Nikita!
Andrei Khabrov HOW THE DANCE TOOK ITS TOLL
I hopped and dangled my legs with vigour
To the wild sound of the drums.
My penis bobbed between my ears
While I performed a Scottish dance.
The bagpipes hatefully kept droning.
To their gloomy, dreary wail
I waved cravat of mine until the morning
And briskly shook my head in step.
Sometime I felt so free and groovy
(I didn`t give a damn for all)
That I took off my kilt, I did it truly!
Eventually, it seemed close to the bone.
Thus, with my kilt as my headgear
(That time I was lit up all right!)
I felt I`d been a knight without fear.
My bare ass helped keep the Celtic art.
Next day, when out of Nirvana,
I was found out by my wife,
I sat alone in the cold sauna,
Wet kilt couldn`t cover up my kyte.
Out of pocket I pulled a wry face.
Companions left me in the lurch.
Either I moved without grace
Or drank a little too much Scotch. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie
Meanwhile somewhere in Scotland! Russian friendly zest!
THE RUSSIAN TEXT: Андрей Хабров ОБ ИСКУССТВЕ И ЖЕРТВАХ
Ногами дрыгая с оттяжкой,
Под грохот бубнов и кимвал
Я, писькой шлёпая по ляжкам,
Шотландский танец танцевал
Гундели гнусные волынки,
Под их тоскливый мерзкий вой
Я резво взмахивал косынкой,
Качая буйной головой
И было мне настолько клёво,
Настолько бeстолочно всё,
Что снял я с бёдер килт суровый
И намотал через плечо
И так, двуногим чупа-чупсом,
Я в бесшабашном кураже
Пропагандировал искусство
Народа кельтов в неглиже
Под утро ж, выйдя из нирваны,
Обеспокоенной женой
Я найден был в остывшей бане,
Обёрнут мокрой простынёй
Гримасой кислой лик испорчен
Друзья исчезли. Пуст бюджет.
Зачем я так нажрался скотчем,
Искусство требовало жертв.
The Litsedeyi - Theatre of Clowns led by Slava Polunin, Moscow, Russia. The comic (and comical) Celtic Dance.
Last but not least! Drums and bagpipes accompanied the school of the Scottish dancing `Shady Glen` during the opening ceremony of the International festival of military music `Spasskaya Bashnya` (Spassky Tower of the Kremlin) in Red Square, Moscow, September 1, 2013.
The below video is a Russian parody of the Gangnam Style, the South Korean hit of 2012.
PSY - GANGNAM STYLE (강남스타일) M/V, 2012
Yet the plot of the Russian video is different. The content of the matter is that a young Russian farmer from province tries to attract attention of a girl from a big city to himself, his agricultural activities, his Bayan (Russian accordion) and Russian folk culture. It is a mild and kind satire, since the guy tries to pass the desirable for reality!
OPPA Russian Style (Parody of the Gangnam style) (Russian accordion)
I sing the songs of love, yet you pay no attention
To hear my accordion as well you are not anxious
As any city dweller you mess about at the foreign concerts.
You laugh at me for certain!
I shout about the Russian style has always been in fashion.
I shout about the Russian style may be recallable by nation.
I shout,`What d`you put your heart and soul into?`
I shout, `You must lend attentive ear!`
Basilisa the Beautiful (a beauty from the Russian fairy tales) Versus Basilisa the Fashionable (a modern girl). Soviet caricature of the 50s
Refrain
Open country, and beyond the village fence I stand!
Yes, I stand! What blessed moments! An expanse, I start to chant!
For you I`ll chant!
Oppa! Russian folk song I shall chant!
All nights long you keep lapsing into daydreams.
You`ve got the player that you won`t stop listening.
If I walk alongside of you, you`ll hardly see me,
You laugh at me and you can`t help it!
I shout, `Look at me! Aren`t I the right sort of nice chap?`
I shout, ` Look at me! The guy from near Volgograd!`
I shout, ` Look at me! You need a man who`s real,
I shout, `Baby, you should lend attentive ear!`
Refrain
`Solo`. Picture in primitivistic style by Russian painter from Moscow Vladimir Liubarov (born 1941)
The choice is yours! It`s only yours!
I mean the songs you`ll put into your heart and soul.
The choice is yours! It`s only yours!
But I`d like you to sing with me
My Russian song!
Arrow-wood, raspberries, raspberries of mine,
In the garden arrow-wood and raspberries of mine! (Twice)*
Eh! Do it! Chop-chop!
*The line is a citation of the Russian folk song `Kalinka-malinka` (`Arrow-wood, raspberries`).
Kalinka - Russian Song and Dance. Danced by the children of the mediate group of the dance studio `Klounessa`. The Children`s Cultural Centre in Moscow `Planeta Molodikh`.
Earlier there was a quotation from the Russian folk song `Yablochko`(`Little Apple`, or `Applelet`) in the video `Oppa Russian Style`.
Yablochko - Little Apple (Applelet). A duet of accordion and bayan (Russian quinqueserial accordion) performs the melody of this Russian folk song and Russian sailors`dance. A scene from the real life of Russia
I wonder why this beat and tune and dance has never been used in advertising the Apple production in Russia! Besides, `Applelet` is so close to `applet`! I feel like being the first in the world who has got such an idea and who makes such a proposal! Y-e-e-sss, babies!
Besides, none has played up yet that Venus de Milo once had got her arms and held a little apple in her hands. What if she had got the latest product of the Apple? There`s such Russian idiom that literally reads `to tear off (or: tear away) smth with smbd`s hands` that means `to snap up`in a few mi ... seconds! This metaphor can be dramatized, can it?
THE RUSSIAN WEDDING - WEDDING MATTER AND MANNER
Wedding in the Gangnam Style in Cheboksary, Republic of Chuvashia of the Russian Federation
AND NOW BRIDE SUDDENLY SAYS: `I DON`T!` DURING THE CIVIL MARRIAGE CEREMONY!`
When asked if she wants to be a wife of the guy, the bride replied: `No I don`t ... want to be his wife! But I want to be his most faithful and loving spouse!` Personally I find it `positively shocking!` Wow!!! Yet she is a big jester and wedding hooligan!
THE MOST UNUSUAL DANCE AT A RUSSIAN WEDDING PARTY:
To her bridegroom
Serzhik*, the wedding-day arrived at last,
You`ll bring me to your house, for the rest
I`ll be with you always, all days and all nights,
I`ll make for you pies
I`ll become the best spouse, my sweetheart!
To her bridegroom and his parents
Sunny, now we shall be a family,
Tight-knit, very happy, trouble-free.
I`ll brew tea for dad, tidy up for your mom
Seriy**, never forget that I love you, I bet!
*Serzhik – a pet name for the formal name Sergey, Serge [serzh] in the Russian women`s speech;
** Seriy (literally `Grey`) – a Russian teenagers` friendly nickname for all boys called Sergei
To her own parents
Mommy, I shall miss you, as a matter of fact,
Daddy, I shall come to see you in any event,
Thanx for your love and for kindness of yours,
Visit us any time, I shall help you
For all I`m worth! You are in my heart.
To her kid sister
Sunny, you have lately grown up so much,
Darling, we are always proud of you as such!
Please don`t forget to help our mom,
To her pay attention and so on,
My sister, I`m always with you, I love you!
To her sisters
My sisters, I`d like to say it like it is,
We lived carefree and had got no grieves.
Such beautiful, clever girls I never saw,
So fiancés and hubbies! make a note of my words!
My sisters, of us there are three, don`t miss me!
To her bridegroom
Now that my song`s come to its end,
Sweetheart, I`ve to say I`m very glad.
I wish we would live in the liberal bright sun,
I wish we would always be a whale of a couple.
As to children, not one, but a few, I love you!
After that you can hear a usual Russian wedding-party`s chant: `Now a kiss!` (`Горько!` - Gor`ko! in Russian. Literally `bitter` (do not mix with the German word of `Bitte!` - `Please!`. Usually someone of the guests says, `I feel like drinking some bitter vodka!` All guests in chorus chant: `Right you are! Bitter! Bitter!` that is a descent metaphor of a call `Now a kiss!` addressed to the newly-weds)
The original song `Sunny`, one of the most covered popular songs, with hundreds of versions released, written by Bobby Hebb in 1963.
The special feature of the above Russian amateur cover version is its new lyrics. Before that only members of the Japanese group `Ulfuls` (ウルフルズ) sang this song in the Japanese language to their own text. Its title was `Yonin` that means `Four friends`.
By the way, do you know that the first cover version of the `Sunny` was performed by Japanese singer Mieko 'Miko' Hirota in Japan. It was her who, so to say, put the international spizzerinktum into the song in 1966!
Mieko Hirota - Sunny
SOVIET GILDED YOUTH`S GREAT CULTURAL BOOGIE-WOOOGIE REVOLUTION OF THE 50s
In Russia they were defined as the stilyagas стиляги, i.e. dandies, fobs, from the Russian word of `style` (стиль). They were children of the high-rank party officials, captains of industry and Soviet upper middle class specialists (lawyers, doctors, teachers and clandestine millionaires) of the late 50s.
A company of the Soviet gilded youth in the personal cars of their high-standing parents on their way to a regular, next-in-turn party in one of their suburban `datchas`.
They liked to follow all the trends of the modern fashion and wore everything that was in vogue in West at that time. They danced boogie-woogie and rock`n`roll and adored American way of life, spoke foreign languages, played guitars and considered themselves to be non-conformists. Boys, they knew quite well that this youth subculture suggested infatuation with rock, sex and vogue
Of course, they were not dissidents, they just wanted to live in their own way and have their own subculture.
Girls, they were attracted by a breath-taking opportunities of being dressed after the latest fashion, cheerfully and brightly. In this picture they`re in Red Square, in Moscow.
Caricature of them could be seen in all Soviet newspapers, but despite this they were on the whole left alone though sometimes kept an eye on for any chance. But step by step their high style began to proliferate into all social stratas of the Soviet society. People wanted to live, get entertained, wear good clothes, have good hairdos made. But the Soviet rulers used to consider such social moods to be the capitalist consumerism. In the early 10s of the 21 c. there was produced a feature film `Stilyagis` ("Стиляги") about stilyagas in Soviet Russia. I did not like it except for some musical and dancing numbers, including the song `Boogie-woogie`. After that film the Russian youngsters, both ordinary folks and rich people, and agencies specializing in performing the wedding parties started using the American Baby Cry style of the middle of the 50s for officiating the wedding ceremonies.
Cry Baby (1990) Trailer. Starring Johnny Depp
WEDDING IN THE CRY-BABY STYLE
Wedding in style of the `Cry-Baby` and `Stilyagis` ("Стиляги") in Kiev, Ukraine. The song in Russian from that feature film starts from 00:57 of the video, my Russian translation follows.
BOOGIE-WOOGIE (From the Russian feature film Стиляги (The fops)
First do like that, where do you put your hands!
That way a dudine will have to shove to you, okay?
Come on, from the right foot! Hold yourself erect!
Shake your legs, don`t look around, just relax!
Stand freely. That`s right! Two steps ahead!
This time sit up, turn around and … bend!
Refrain
I love boogie-woogie, (Five times more)
I keep dancing boogie-woogie everyday!
If you wanna be a real dandy and fop,
Say, buddy! You ought to dance the rock`n`roll.
You should know what`s the Canadian style,
It`s quite something, deeply!not a polka-butterfly!
There`s the atomic, there`s triple Hamburgish one.
I see you`re impatient, pal, you gonna start at once!
Refrain
There dance the jitterbug, we dance the rock`n`roll …
Make no difference between the ceiling and floor!
If you got tired, take breath but not for long,
If you started dancing you shouldn`t ever stop!
Do you hear this beat, do you feel that drive?
Then you`ve found expression in the rock`n`roll, guy! (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Soviet caricature of the contemporary dances of the educated and privileged Russian young people of the 50s of the 20 c.
Сначала – вот так. Куда ты руки суешь?
Так от любой чувихи по зубам огребешь.
А ну-ка, с правой ноги. Держись прямее давай!
Ногами шевели и рот не разевай!
Свободнее. Вот так. И два шага вперед.
Теперь присядь пониже… и поворот!
Their innocent showing-off was an outrage against public morality!
Refrain
Я люблю буги-вуги, (Five times more)
Я танцую буги-вуги каждый день.
Чтоб настоящим стилягой стать,
Нужно, приятель, нормально танцевать.
Ты должен знать, что такое «канадский» стиль –
Здесь все серьезно, здесь не полька, не кадриль.
Есть «атомный», ещё есть «гамбургский тройной» -
Попробуй научиться, парень, ты заводной!
Refrain
Mass media did not give them a moment`s peace! The verses in the caption have got a title of `The Copycats` and their authors compare the young people dancing the new dances with monkeys of Charles Darwin! Wow!
Это джиттербаг, это рок-н-ролл
Ты не должен различать где потолок, где пол
И если ты устанешь, то присядь, но не надолго
Ты начал танцевать, чего сидеть без толку?
Слышишь этот ритм и чуешь этот драйв
Значит ты свободен в танце – вот это кайф!
A RECONDITE SUBJECT
You and a woman are just friends.
All is so simple that is knotty!
In practice you cannot afford too much,
In theory you can, but it`s so dotty. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Когда мужчина с женщиной друзья,
Все очень просто, но безумно сложно.
Ведь многое практически нельзя,
Хотя теоретически возможно...
Young Stalin recommends, `Write a sonnet and dedicate it to her. Chicks love the sonnets!`
GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT
I told her proudly that very soon I`d leave her,
I said that in my flesh she always was a thorn!
`Well`, answered she, `I won`t stick like a bur,
For me it makes no sense to hold onto your horns`. (Trans. Andrew Alexandre Owie)
Я ухожу - сказал я гордо –
Таких, как ты, найду я до фига!
Иди - она спокойно мне сказала... –
Никто тебя не держит за рога.
Yeah, me, Mona Lisa, have full right to take part in a cosplay! (Cosplay, or Costume play ( コスプレ) - making replicas of the characters seen on the silver screen, on TV and in comics). Captain Jack the Sparrow has as well become one of my favourite masked balls`characters. Please mind that `balls`here are not`balls`, but `balls`. And they are masked! Why? I don`t know! As every M(ad)on(n)a I`m morally innocent by definition. Better ask Mr. Boy George! Why him? He`s not only `Karma chamelion`, but also the `King of everything!`
Boy George - Karma Chamelion. His fan Luca Idk comments: `Stupid people, he is a MAN !!!!` And then he adds that the pop idol dresses like a woman in this clip just because he is a gay and masked! Well, it`s too right! As well as he`s a pop idol and great entertainer whose name belongs to the history of the British and world`s music.
Basil Oblomov SONG ABOUT WI-FI
The lads and me went to a bathhouse.
We bought alotta shrimps and beer our fill.
Our girlfriends who tagged around with us,
They were, full stop, the really pretty chicks.
There we swam and took the steam baths,
Like water beer too was flowing all the night.
While arguing which smartphone is more classy
By chance we found an access to Wi-Fi.
Then Mike received an email from his office.
And Alex lost no time to make use of his Skype.
In a nutshell, that Saturday night passed off
With a success for us due to Wi-Fi.
It`s so hard to be a bird in time of wireless communications!
We went to a nightclub to listen to the music.
We had to sit against the distant wall.
Though to view the stage was useless,
The outlets for charging were installed.
The show`s not in sight, who cares?
No matter what is on, pay nevermind!
It`s even better on the screens of iPads.
Good luck the club had got Wi-Fi.
The lads and me went in for fishing
Their mobile phones had not Wi-Fi.
So I decided, `Well, I`m not so greedy!`
And they connected with my phone to get Wi-Fi.
The cold wind blew above the river.
The traffic pootled down, byte by byte.
We bought fish in an e-shop, it is clear
We would have failed to act like this if not Wi-Fi.
No matter how I try I`ve no idea,
`How on earth could we survive before?`
There`s no life if no Wi-Fi with beer,
There would be no fun and no talk. (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
BEHIND THE CANDELABRA: DID A DEEP THROAT KILL THE BLUE CANARY`S POSTHUMOUS FAME?
This film impressed the Russian audience greatly. Both his opponents and supporters agree that this is a real success of the whole personnel who created this feature fim.
Behind the Candelabra - Behind the scenes video
What is my opinion? Excellent work! Michael Douglas amazed the world again, he seems to be able to play any complicated part, a genius, Matt Damon and Rob Lowe proved to be grandmasters in their profession. As to the personnel responsible for the picture in the film (artiste, director of photography, costume and credits designers, etc.), they are real artistes of the Renaissance.
Yet I don`t think that the movie is truthful. I have got my own persception of the greatest showman of the 20 c. Elvis, Elton John, Madonna, Steven Fry, Lady Gaga and many other artistes came out of his mink coat, he was their artistic daddy. Cool passionate daddy! By the way, Liberace was not well known for his homosexuality during his lifetime and sued those who accused him of being gay.
How Liberace became a star – BBC
He had been in the showbiz for 40 years and held dear his reputation! I deeply doubt that he would have liked the film. (In ideal audience should have taken interest in great artistes (from Tchaikovsky to Liberace) not because they are homos or what, `cuz it`s their own choice and we have nothing to do with it).
Liberace performing The Bumble Boogie from his classic hit television series of the 50s.
Mr. Liberace influenced other entertainers in the world both by what he had been doing on stage and by his behaviour in public off stage. Wladziu Valentino Liberace (1919 – 1987) was the highest-paid entertainer in the world in the 50-70s.
Liberace's Car. Cool!
He was the greatest trend-setter, and he loved his audience and preferred a honey honey sugar sugar manner when addressing the fans. Who knows what kind of person he was in his private life?
To know it one had to become Scott Thorson, but we are not.
Liberace & Scott Thorson on stage in Las Vegas. Liberace hired Thorson when he was 17 as his companion, incorporated into his Las Vegas stage performances (Thorson drove Liberace's Rolls-Royce onstage, and was a dancer). This position allegedly included a five-year love affair allegedly full of promises, gifts, etc.
On the other hand, the feature film is based on Scott Thorson`s memoirs `Behind the Candelabra: My Life With Liberace`.
Liberace with his minion Scott Thorson
Therefore the subject of the film is not the creative work of Liberace, but his private life described from the point of view of poor and not very lucky Mr. Thorson who hoped that Liberace would adopt him and he would inherit his wealth one day. Why not? For example, Italian film director Luchino Visconti who was an open gay took care of his lover Helmut Berger whom he met in an hotel in Germany and made him a rich and world famous star.
Luchino Visconti and his sweet lover Helmut Berger. Before his death Visconti left enough money for Helmut Berger, so that he could live carefree for the rest of his life .
If the facts described by Mr. Scott Thorson and dramatized in the feature film are true, Mr. Liberace despite his public greatness was an immoral rich monster and psychopath in his private life of an ageing millionaire, but Mr. Thorson had a freedom of choice, he could leave Liberace at any time, but he did not want to. In my humble opinion, the feature film shows the unattractive, ungainly and miserable sides of homosexual relationes between an old richman and a very young poorman, an unexperienced junior, and it discredits Mr. Liberace, show biz, showbiz`s medicine, gay community and homosexual relations. It is a very beautiful frightful movie of great culture and a warning for the young gigolos, lovers of fortune. Strictly speaking, it is not the biopic of Liberace, it is an unobvious improvisation on The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde.
Helmuth Berger as Dorian Gray and Picture of Dorian Gray
Personally, I like Mr. Liberace as he`s presented in the Yacht Cruise (1979) where Liberace charters a fabulous valentines day yacht cruise for two female companions and friends:
Liberace Yacht Cruise (1979)
Oh, yeah! Sometimes in the past Mr. Liberace was reported to have been a mujeriero and one time he was even engaged to actress Joanne Rio. Still he was suspected at being a secretive homosexual person by the reporters, including the Daily Mirror (UK) in 1956. For the first time the gay rumours appeared after the feature film `Sincerely Yours` had been released with Liberace in the title role. It`s improbable but the film anticipates many moments that was later described in the book by Thorsen. Besides Liberace masterfully played the role of a gay person in the feature film, no less masterfully than Mr. Michael Douglas played Liberace as a gay in the Behind the Candelabra.
Inimitable Michael Douglas as Mr. Liberace. Evil Liberace!
The difference is that Liberace played a kind gay, an unhappy person, a victim of fortune, while Douglas played a mean, hypocritical gay with evil eyes, a ruthless and greedy manipulator though he was not another character of Michael Douglas from the Wall Street. I do not think that Michael Douglas was chosen occasionally. Someone very clever and patient and ancient, who nursed the grievance, revenged upon Mr. Liberace at the first opportunity, and, of course, it was not the film director. He must have been inspired by folks in the higher places who are likely to have had a bone or even a skeleton in the closet to pick with late and silent Mr. Liberace. After that film he will no longer remain a great entertainer in the global public mind, he`ll be just and forever an old, bald and dirty gay. He`ll be remembered exactly for that! Great film, I say. Great! Homophobic? Oh, no! Exclusively Liberacephobic. Everything`s personal, it`s not business! It`s a posthumous death!
This is a humorous rap from the popular Russian TV program `Our Russia` depicting the daily life of Russia in a grotesque, humorous and mildly satirical way. All parts are played and sung by two artists Sergey Svetlakov and Mikhail Galoustyan. The part of milling machine operator Dulin is played by Mr. Svetlakov and that of his chief Mikhalitch by Mr. Galoustyan. Dulin woos Mikhalitch and it creates funny situations in which the other workers and office personnel of the machine-shop are regularly involved. Industrial Chelyabinsk City is supposed to be the locale of the TV serial. By the way there was no attempts to forbid this show depicting the recognizable characters and social types that folks keep intervening in a real life.
MIKHALITCH
Mikhalitch is a patronimic. The Russian workers of the same age used to address one another with the help of their patronimics in their coloquial pronunciation. The patronimic of Mikhalitch derives from the name of Mikhail (Michael), in the literary speech it sounds as Mikhailovitch. Folks, however, say Mikhalitch in the informal speech with a respected person of the same age, rank and social position.
There`s a machine-shop manager
At our plant.
People call him Mikhalitch,
I wish he were my tart.
I see him in my dreams every single night,
His hair, lips, eyes and thighs.
Egoritch, Mitritch, Gennady Palitch …
I don`t care for all
I only need you, Mikhalitch!
No Mikhalitch, no meaning of life,
No Mikhalitch, no man for a wife,
My muscles toughen under my bib and brace,
Come on, Mikhalitch, touch me with your hand.
A SLOGAN IN THE BACKGROUND READS WORK YOUR SWEET ARSEHOLES TO THE BONES!
In the plant`s territory there sing nightingales.
Sweetheart, Mikhalitch, they sing about our strong
Love of two males!
Mikhalitch, Mikhalitch!
I want you in your office and in the canteen,
In the accounting department, in the WC.
I want you in the smoking-room, in the rear entrance.
I want you on and off the plant`s premises.
The hourhands freeze on the dial of my watch
When you`re back from lunch with salad in your gorge.
I make out a smell of the `Camel` in your breath
Hey, Mikhalitch, Ich liebe dich to death.
As a guest you`re no problem,
You, Mikhalitch, are welcome.
We would crack a bottle of vodka
You would sleep in my bed.
Then I`ll show my pace, I`d be at your disposal,
Drop in tonight, Mikhalitch, you won`t be sorry.
Mikhalitch, sweet as a cake! Mikhalitch, without a break!
In the plant`s territory there sing nightingales.
They sing love is stronger when it`s a love of two males. (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
HELMUT BERGER. THE LAST MUSE OF LUCHINO VISCONTI
According to one of the versions for the first time brutal homosexual person, aristocrat and member of the Communist party, great Italian film director Luchino Visconti met Helmut Berger in 1964 at a fashion show.
Having seen him, Luchino exclaimed: `What`s his name? What? Helmut Berger?`
Since then these words has become his prayer. They`ll have been his last words two decades later. He bombarded Helmut with expensive gifts, but the Austrian was respectful, but cool.
All-out attack was Visconti`s favourite method. And Berger had to surrender, though he was 38 years younger. Berger became Visconti`s muse and played title parts in his epic feature films `The damn` and `Ludwig`. Visconti and Berger turned out to be the most elegant blue couple in Europe of that time.
After death of the great film director signed off the lion`s share of his property to his brother, the rest went to Berger. Since money was never the basis of their liaison Helmut bore no malice. After all, he received much, though not all. Besides, he did not claim to all. In any case Visconti secured his future. Berger could not cope the severance from Visconti and made an attempt of comitting suicide but was saved. Once he confessed, `I lived carefree and paid for it`.
(Abridged from the essay by Russian blue author Sasha Mily `Helmut Berger, The last muse of Luchino Visconti` http://www.proza.ru/2009/09/14/1165 who wrote he woud be grateful for having got his essay inserted into his readers` blogs and web sites).
Helmut Berger in `The Damn`
Helmut Berger was really handsome young man. Even me who never was a homosexual person felt the charm of his `vicious beauty`. Of course, he was not vicious. He was only a belle who played the vicious or allegedly vicious characters. In the latter case I imply the last Bavarian king Ludwig who was rumoured to have been a gay too.
Ludwig was the most queer king of Europe, a true Christian saint who was declared a madman and killed by the agents of Prussia that was uniting Germany and Ludwig was an obvious obstacle.
Ludwig II Bavarian
Helmut Berger as Ludwig II Bavarian
He considered himself to be the last knight of the legendary medieval Swan order. He spent almost all of his wealth on works of art and remarkable castles in the mountains.
The music to the ballet `Swan Lake` by another blue genius, Russian composer Piotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, is based on the ancient Bavarian legends that inspired Ludwig.
This is Piotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. He composed the music of rare beauty. As to his sexual tastes, we oughtn`t to care about this.
THEY ARE GREAT, BUT DO I LOVE THEM? (THE EX-USSR CITIZENS ON THE ENGLISH)
The USSR consisted of 15 republic, let alone there are no fewer republics in the boundaries of the Russian Federation. Thefore the below opinions belong not only to ethnic Russians. According to results of the Pew Research`s recent survey published in the Russian newspaper «Коммерсантъ», Russia are disliked most of all in Israel (76%), Jordan (70%), Turkey (66%), France (64%), Japan (64%), Egypt (64%). In the USA 43% of people hate Russia, 37% sympathize with it, more than half of populations of Germany, Italy and Poland dislike Russia, and only Greece (63%) and South Korea (53%) demonstrate positive attitude for the time being. The matter, however, is that the Russian do not know about this and feel fine.
Once a Pole asked me about attitude of the Russian to funny anecdotes about them in Poland. I had to confess that the Russian never heard about this. Only intellectuals take interest in Poland. Israel is being visited by the Russian without visas. By the way, the Jewish republic of Russia is situated in the Russian Far East and borders on China. Its capital is Birobidzhan. Japan is a well-known country in Russia. The Russian feel that the Japanese have anything to do with Siberia, Finno-Ugric patrimony. But the most popular country is the USA. Then follow Brazil, Spain, as to the UK ... it`s a part of Russian political life. The Russian rich people adore to live in Austria. India is a permanent love at all times. On the whole, the ordinary Russian take little interest in abroad. There are neither hatred nor love, but everyone knows who is Obama or McCain. And Berlusconi. And the British Royal family. The Russian military reviewers rate high soldiers of the USA, UK and Germany.
PRO
The Britons are the cleverest nation of the world. The whole world speaks English. They initiated the scientific progress. That`s why their country is called GREAT Britain.
CONTRA
Englishmen are haughty snobs. Only Hitler loved them, the rest of Europe, including Scots and the Irish people dislike them. They initiated capitalism in its most pure form.
PRO
Englishmen are not snobs, or else they would never invent miniskirts. Their women are beautiful and fashionable. Their actors and actresses are the best in the world.
LONDON
CONTRA
They`re red-haired and bulldog-faced. All the best brains are concentrated in the Continent. Adam Smith, Shakespeare and Byron are the only exceptions. They`re not even worth of hatred.
PRO
Once I visited the UK. I liked Englishmen. I felt fine and happy there.
CONTRA
I`ve been to the UK for two years. They`re polite, yes, but it doesn`t prevent them from humiliating Russia. They suffer from immigrants but they can`t say anything againt them. If they can, they may be fired.
OXFORD
CONTRA&PRO
I agree there are a lot of both egg-heads and mongoloids among them. They`re football hooligans too. But if to choose between Englishmen and Russian and Ukranians, I would prefer English people. On the whole, they`re much more civilized.
CONTRA&PRO
They`re latent hypocritical Natzis. They hate Russia and the Russian. But there are much fewer traitors among them and their idiots feel that they`re idiots and most time keep silence. Besides they`re ready to sacrifice personal freedom to gain the common aim.
PRO
They`re interesting, clever and polite. They feel respect of the opponents while the Russian ruthlessly abuse one another. Just surf the British and Russian web sites and you`ll agree with me. They`ve got a helluva great ideas! Well done, Englishmen!
CAMBRIDGE
CONTRA
They`re not human beings because they use miles, feet and pounds instead of centimetres, kilograms and kilometres.
PRO
I adore British accent! Wow! Besides I fell in love with my English teacher. Who knows, there maybe bad Englishmen too.
CONTRA
They`re great nation, yes. But I don`t like them. What for? For cunning, meanness and pathological hatred of Russia. The French and Germans opposed us directly, Englishmen hid behind somebody`s back.
YORK
PRO
They`re great, polite, slender, beautiful and hadsome. If you`ve got a problem they`ll help you unlike the selfish French. They`re modest, they are not as irregular and complacent as Germans and Italians are. German and Italy are nice countries, but I won`t go there any more. I`d prefer the UK.
CONTRA
They`re better than the Russian but worse than Germans.
PRO
They like cats, I can`t help loving them for this!
WINDSOR
PRO
They`ve got dignity and national pride!
PRO
English people are cultural and cultured. Great literature, great science, the Beatles, the Queen group. Soccer!!! Their language is nice, simple and expressive a great deal! (In English) Great Britain - Great forever!
PRO
I like their racism, politics and business acumen! They`re supermen.
EXETER
PRO
They`re open and restrained. They`re simple. They attract me. They`re first in the pop and rock music!
PRO
Shakespeare! James Cook! Isaac Newton! Charles Darwin! Margaret Thatcher! Michael Faraday! Winston Churchill! Arthur Conan Doyle! Byron! THE BEATLES!!!
PRO
They`re nation of progress! Their literature is superb!
CANTERBURY
PRO
They were our allies at war! They invented football!
PRO
What is good in the English? Their way of thinking, culture and pride!
CONTRA
All other peoples hate them! Ask their neighbours! They dissimulate politeness, hipocrisy is in their blood, they hate all the world deep at their hearts! They are being brought up in this way.
CHESTER
PRO
English people? They`re very good! And they live in the best country of the world! The`ve got an army of extremely gifted and talented celebrities!
CONTRA
They are rare but silent racists! But extremely clever! They are aware of their inner superiority! Americans are only silly children in comparison with the English! Yes, they take interest in foreign cultures, they admire them. But they would like to introduce their values throughout the world. As a former Kazakhstan national I`m glad that my country was a colony of Russia rather than of Great Britain or China.
PRO
The English are friendly, nice and sociable! Why not to love them!
BRISTOL
CONTRA
Self-confident masturbators! Their language is shit!
PRO
I consider them to be my brothers and sisters! I love them.
CONTRA
I`m living in England. I don`t like Englishmen. They like to gossip, they`re hypocritical and they`re sadists. They`re the natural born actors and actresses, all of them. That`s why their professional actors and actresses are the best in the world. They`re dirty creatures. Murky nation!
EDINBURGH
PRO
I love the English, my temper co-incides with that of theirs. They`re civil and loyal. They adore animals! But they have got a bad habit of being infatuated with politics and it spoils everything. Of course, the UK is above all! It`s natural, after all. The same can be said about way of thinking of all other nations. So the English haven`t got a privilege of being blamed for this.
CONTRA
They`re clumsy, dirty, impudent, they`re clinical liars, they all bark at Russia as mad dogs. But what is Russia for them? They`re greedy. Asexual. English humour? I`ve never heard of it! Gentlemen, ladies? It`s not about them. I do not want to see the English in Russia!
PRO
I never expected to meet such pleasant people in the UK! Earlier I thought there were no more good people than Americans. (All the same I love Americans a little bit stronger).
DUBLIN
CONTRA
When the English talk about Russia, they get dumb. I mean ordinary people. Putin, K.G.B., GULAG. That`s all. They`re being brought up by the local mass media as ruthless enemies of Russia. I don`t need their fogs, literature and Mary Poppins! I don`t care for London and the Union Jack! And British soccer especially! I feel I must stop, or else I remember about the British Crown.
PRO
Why should they love us if we get into the UK in crowds with our Asian faces? The UK is a civilized nation. Yes, they hate us, Asians, they hate the Russian too. Who loves us, then? Americans, Europeans? The English have not got any advantage in this respect.
CONTRA
Freaks! Incessantly smiling freaks! Fatsos!
CORK
PRO
The English are democratic. Democracy is in their blood! There`s a lot of positive there that we`re oblige to borrow and adopt at home.
CONTRA
The English are NOT tolerant. All other peoples must become as they are to deserve their right to very existence. They`re polite, they`re even good at a stage of studying you until they learn your weak points. Germans, they`re honest, they don`t beat about the bush. I think English language is widespread globally by pure misunderstanding. It is English language that conqured the whole world rather than the English, but they refuse to understand it.
PRO
The Russian and the English are different. But the English deserve every respect. They`re sincerely polite and really clever. Their country is a many-sided riddle! There are gentlemen and ladies in the UK. There are a lot of rioters, hooligans and punks as well. It`s a motherland of feminism! Local people speak what they think.
LIMERICK
CONTRA
There`s no British culture. There`s only cultures of the former colonies in the UK. Like the Russian, the English are not among the most respectable peoples in the world. I`d like to know how many persons share this point of view?
PRO
The UK is the only country in the world where conservatism walks hand in hand with stability and innovations. The English are active, proud, hard-working, cruel, intelligent and talented people. They`ve got all properties of the natural-born leaders. They were leaders indeed. It is not the nation one could disregard or write off. I like everything in the English !
CONTRA
No country in the world is able to make disagree the Continental countries so cunningly! A pimple pretending to govern the world! Genocide is your second name!
HELSINOR
PRO
The English litter like the Russian. They are also disliked by Europeans. Sometimes like the Russian they behave as real pigs. But I LOVE THEM! Americans are simpler as well as American English is. The English speak English with heavy British accent and you can`t help it!
CONTRA
I hate both the French and the English! The English are the cruelest nation of the world!
PRO
I married to a Englishman. I never felt sorry about it. Englishmen are the most intelligent, polite and pleasant men in the world. They are not as passionate as Italians are, but they do not live on the Mediterranean seashore either! Englishmen can love! Their coolness and haughtiness are superficial, it is a kind of defense reaction. They are tender and not selfish. They are warm, they are handsome. You say they are standoffish? How could they provide us with so many rock and punk musicians then?
LANCASTER
CONTRA&PRO
I like English culture, but I dislike the English. They think they`re the main enemies of Russia. And Russia is their main enemy. On the other hand, what would we all do if not the English? They invented many things that we use now. May ordinary English people live happily ever after. Why are they our enemies?
CONTRA&PRO
You can`t make friends with the English. They are all false and affected. They make friends with you just to alienate you later. They learn drama in high schools, and histrionics is their second nature. They are now frost, now fire. It`s impossible to understand them. Sometimes it seems they can read your thoughts and they demand the same ability from you. If you fail, they get disappointed. They can smile in a way that it`s getting frightful and disgusting. They are all improbably clever, beyond any doubt.
CONTRA
The Russian are much more interesting! And the Irish too!
SHREWSBURY
PRO
I am glad that the UK is and will be in the world!
PRO
Their humour is present not only in literature or cinema, but also in the real life. Hee-hee!
PRO
People like people. But they speak American language in a wrong way. Terrific accent! Unintelligible for me!
CHIMAY
CONTRA
Pop-eyed! Round, flat, red-coloured faces. Have you ever seen a handsome Englishman?
PRO
They are very understanding and helpful!
PRO
They`re shy. I was sick and tired a little bit of being initiative for them.
MOSCOW
CONTRA
We`re barbarians for them. Englishmen are not gentlemen, Englishwomen are feminists. Their gentlemen were killed in action. All hate people from the Oriental countries and republics of the ex-USSR. You think I do not like the English? No, I hate them with all my heart.
PRO
I live in Russia but I have not friends here. When I lived in England everything was in a different way. The English understood me and I had got a lot of friends.
PRO IT IS SILLY TO DISLIKE SOMEONE JUST BECAUSE HE OR SHE DISLIKES YOU! IT`S SO PRIMITIVE!
PRO I DRANK WITH THEM! THEY`RE REMARKABLE, CRAZY, NOT INDIFFERENT PEOPLE! I ADORE THESE EMOTIONAL CREATURES! NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY ALL INTERESTING AND TRENDY THINGS IN THE MODERN CULTURE APPEAR NOT IN BEIJING, BUT IN LONDON. BUT THEY LIKE TO DRINK, FOR SURE!
Vadim Levin POLITE CONVERSATION
An Englishman happened to push other Englishman,
He felt so confused that he murmured , `I am sorry, sir!`
The other responsed as politely as possible,
`I`m sorry, but I havent`t noticed it, honestly.
-Oh no, it`s me who is sorry. I have to beg pardon.
-What? What should I forgive you, sir, all of a sudden?
-It`s obvious, sir, what`s the use of proceeding our trade?
-Don`t worry, Sir, but I am so silly that I am afraid
I can`t understand you, and you`ll have to explain
Why should I forgive you? So I ask you again!
The Englishman specially pushed other Englishman,
He murmured at once, `I am sorry! I am penitent!`
His opponent answered politely, `I`m sorry!
I haven`t indeed noticed anything, dear Sir!`
- Oh no, it`s me whom you would`ve had to blame!
- To blame you for what? I can`t still understand!
I wish I could blame you for anything, Sir!
But I don`t know, I swear, what for?
The Englishman specially pushed other Englishman,
He murmured at once, `I am sorry! I am penitent!`
His opponent suddenly answered politely,
`I`m sorry but this time I can`t help repulsing you!
And after that Englishmen fought with each other,
They fought all day long but they did it politely. (Trans. Andrew Alex Owie)
PRO
