What is life? What do we all think of life? What do we learn from it? What do we expect from it? What do we need from life and what do we not? Why do we all live?
I will give you an opportunity not only to see someone else’s life, but to learn what he thinks of it.
So, what is life, really? The time we spend between birth and death? The events that happen to us? I don’t think there may be a definite explanation. But I will try to tell you what I think of it. See, most people in this world are more or less satisfied with their lives. Sometimes they just have a bad day, or week, or month, but they get over it somehow, and are back to normal. But what about people who simply don’t enjoy life? Those whose bad days never end? The pessimists, alcoholics, drug addicts, etc. Why do they live? Why do they spend a few years in misery only to die some horrible way? Do they wait for a miracle? Well, miracles don’t happen to everyone. Then why can’t they simply end it all, overcome that great obstacle? Because they are weak, you might say. They don’t have the courage to do something like that. I disagree. They are strong, in their unconscious grasp of life, so strong they cannot let it go.
Then what is it that makes us love life so much, even though we may not enjoy it? One who believes in God would certainly say, “The Creator”. Then what of the atheists (to whom I belong), who deny the very existence of a god, what do they think? Well, that’s one of the problems. Neither can answer the simplest of questions, even though they may know a lot about something else. Are we just advancing in the wrong direction, why do we leave such things unexplained? They are simply beyond our grasp, our minds are too dim. Someone told me once, “We are but leaves on a tree. A leaf does its job, not knowing why or for what purpose. And so are people, who have to ponder on the questions but never answer them, living their lives for an undiscovered purpose”.
How significant are things that we do in our everyday life? And I’m not just talking about ordinary clerks or secretaries, no. The life of a ruler, or a star, may influence millions, maybe billions of people, but how does it influence the Universe?
You know, sometimes I try to imagine the Earth, how huge it must be, with all its water, land, plants, animals and people. Everything I know of, I put in this image. Then I do further: I imagine our galaxy, with all its stars, planets, black holes – anything that could possibly exist. Next, the Universe. A creation made up of billions and billions of these galaxies. So vast, it has no end, for what can be beyond eternity?
And then, I think of myself. My life, my friends, the things I do. I feel so insignificant, unimportant. I could do anything at all, but in time, history would forget me.
And time, what is time? How do we measure the time spent in our lives? A life – is that a lot of time or not? Once again, I will simply quote, “Time is a good way to separate events, so they wouldn’t happen all in the same instant”. True, but lacking something. As it always is with eternal questions.
I told you about life in general, but now I will try to be more concrete. I will describe my life, as I think of it now.
I am a schoolchild in year 5. I do not think of life or any important things at all, for that matter. My concerns? Studying, homework, friends, cartoons. My goal in life? To be a grown-up.
I am a teenager in year 9. My life bothers me. I can’t seem to understand the meaning of my life. Why do I live? I don’t know, but I don’t care. I care about my friends, I care about a girl, I care about myself. I want to be a college student, because every adult says college was the best time of his life.
I am an adolescent in first year of college. I have a lot of friends, I know a lot of people. I don’t get along well with some of them, but I always do my best. I try to seem normal, but never show how I feel. I am a liar at heart, but no-one cares. And life? I don’t understand it. Why was I born? To what purpose? What do I have to do in life? Finish college, for one. Go to work. Work my ass off as some average run-of-the-mill worker, earning money, spending money, only to retire as an old man of no use to anyone. But even if I become successful, even if I earn a billion dollars so I never have to work again, what happens to my life then?
Most of the people work at a job that doesn’t give them any real satisfaction, but they can’t do otherwise. No, it’s against the rules. Aren’t we born to have pleasure, and die happy? What kind of pleasure is one that can only be had after work? Or on weekends? Or even once a year? We are born into that, and we cannot change that, because we know: it’s in our blood.
I go to college 5 times a week. I may skip sometimes, when I feel like staying at home and I can get away with it. On weekends I may meet my friends, go out with a girl or simply stay home. Soon I will have exams, and I’ll work hard for a week. This will continue for 5 or 6 years. And then a job, which will be even more monotonous.
Why do we have to do all this just to have a quiet life when we become old? Who knows? Not I…
So, what is life, really? Life is a circle, spinning us around on one spot. Life is the time we spend enjoying ourselves. Life is the events that occur while we breathe and think.
Do we all love being alive? Why, yes we do. We do it without a reason, because we don’t need one. Being created out of nothing, having the ability to think – is that not a miracle?
And then, death. Death is ultimate, it comes to all of us and can’t be escaped. Do we know it when we are dying? What do we think of during death? What becomes of us then?
Whatever it is, I’m not intent on finding it out just yet. I love living, and I don’t need a reason. I believe in myself, because I am still a mystery. Who knows what will become of me? I might die tomorrow, or I might live a hundred years. I may be rich or I may be poor. I may be famous, or unknown.
But I will be truly alive, from now and until my death.
yasviridov.
Natalie, мне бы твои проблемы. Мне тоже 16 лет и уже побывала на первом бале. Не торопи события. Не так уж это и приятно, особенно в первый раз. 
