Talking smack about bits of your anatomy that you've got no control over. Delighting generations with his clever arrangements and often hilarious, heartfelt lyrics. Showing modern musicians what a showman looks like. These are but a few of the services that Fat Waller has provided to humanity over the years.

Image via Wikipedia Commons Read the rest

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/11/fats-waller-told-me-your-feet.html

The world's busy shitting its pants over an impending pandemic, oil production slap-fights and the arse dropping out of the stock market right into the lap of a recession that's just a-waiting in the wings. So, Russia, being Russia, does what Russia does best: fucks with people.

Earlier today, I received an emailed statement from your pals and mine at NORAD:

NORAD intercepts Russian aircraft entering Air Defense Identification Zone

PETERSON AIR FORCE BASE, Colo. – North American Aerospace Defense Command F-22s, CF-18s, supported by KC-135 Stratotanker and E-3 Sentry AWACS aircraft, intercepted two Russian Tu-142 maritime reconnaissance aircraft entering the Alaskan Air Defense Identification Zone on Monday, March 9th.

The Russian aircraft entered the ADIZ north of Alaska and remained within it for approximately 4 hours. NORAD fighter aircraft escorted the TU-142s for the duration of their time in the ADIZ. The Russian aircraft remained in international airspace over the Beaufort Sea, and came as close as 50 nautical miles to the Alaskan coast. The Russian aircraft did not enter United States or Canadian sovereign airspace.

If you're like me, or NORAD, you probably don't dig on unexpected company. So that pair of TU-142s can go ahead and jog on.

It's pretty common for Russia to mess with the warships of other countries in international waters, send submarines to scope out undersea communication cables and buzz NATO-aligned nations. They're jerks like that. However, given the freshly rehashed bickering over sovereignty in the Arctic, thanks to global warming's opening up of once frozen shipping lanes and potential oil windfalls, having a pair of their aircraft bop by to say hi feels a little bit pushier than usual. Read the rest

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/11/russias-airborne-dicketry-co.html

An event titled "Doing Business under Coronavirus" was scheduled, but it turns out that coronavirus has other plans: the conference day has beencanceled due to the spread of the illness. Bloomberg News reports that The Council on Foreign Relations has also nixed the rest of its roundtable agenda for the immediate future.

Across the U.S., the spread of the novel virus has so far scuttled more than 50 major corporate events with an estimated attendance of almost 1 million people, according to data collected by Bloomberg News.

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/11/coronavirus-conference-cancele.html

I've written here before to mention that I perform lengthy sets of Irish folk music around St. Patrick's Day*, and there are quite a few of those popular pub songs that include (well-deserved, IMHO) shout-outs to James Connolly, a stalwart champion of workers' rights who was executed by British soldiers after the 1916 Easter Rising. As I get older, I haven't found myself getting more conservative, like the Boomers told me I would; instead, I find myself realizing more and more that James Connolly was right about a damn lot of things.

One of my favorite writings of his — which I find I reference in casual conversation more than I should probably admit — is this piece on the differences between "state monopolies" and "socialism." Originally published in the June 10, 1899 issue of Workers’ Republic, this short essay impressively articulates the differences between centralized government control of a society, and what it means to actually put that ownership into collective public hands.

Socialism properly implies above all things the co-operative control by the workers of the machinery of production; without this co-operative control the public ownership by the State is not Socialism – it is only State capitalism. The demands of the middle-class reformers, from the Railway Reform League down, are simply plans to facilitate the business transactions of the capitalist class. State Telephones – to cheapen messages in the interest of the middle class who are the principal users of the telephone system; State Railways – to cheapen carriage of goods in the interest of the middle-class trader; State-construction of piers, docks, etc.

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/11/what-the-late-great-james-con.html

Today I learned that there's a brand of potato chips available in prison commissaries that are so good, they're almost worth being locked up for. They're called "The Whole Shabangs" and, until 2016, they were only available on the "inside."

Now I Know:

One inmate told NBC News that “The Whole Shabangs are a ray of sunlight in the very cloudy and drab existence that is prison.”

A former inmate joked (one hopes!) on Facebook, saying “why did I have to go to jail to experience the best chips ever made???? Well…. back to jail it is.”

Another posted to Facebook that although she “won’t do time again” to get the chips, she hopes to find someone on the inside who can send her some: “[I’ll] find out who’s about to get out and send some money so they can bring me at least 10 bags of them. They are delicious.”

Even non-criminals swear by the snacks; according to the Lincoln (Nebraska) Journal-Star, “Nebraska Parole Board members have a standing request for the canteen to hold a couple of bags so they can buy them when they come to the center for hearings.”

To get some, without being incarcerated, head to The Whole Shabangs online store. They only sell them in nine ($28.50) or twelve ($35.99) packs though. Pretty tempting!

(Now I Know) Read the rest

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/11/apparently-prison-has-the-best.html

In Debbie Harry’s gripping new memoir Face It, she sets the story straight about the night she got into the car of serial killer Ted Bundy.

Her story factors into the painting by Robert Williams, “Debbie Harry’s Fears,” which the two discuss together in a short video.

It happened in Manhattan during her pre-Blondie years, in the mid-1970s. Debbie was walking cross-town, alone, around 2:00 a.m. on the way to a party for the New York Dolls. She couldn’t find a cab, her shoes weren’t made for walking, and a polite, nice-looking guy slowed his car beside her and offered her a ride. She claims to have never been one to hitchhike “not even during the hippie years,” but she was desperate. And he didn’t seem weird.

She recalls a white car with a stripped interior, which included the removal of the passenger seat interior door handles. Photos of Bundy’s car track with her claim, but her story had been previously debunked, because supposedly Bundy was in Florida at that time, not New York.

After a valiant escape fit for an action movie, she eventually dismissed the experience. “I had not though about that night for maybe fifteen years,” she writes in Face It. Until she happened across a magazine article about the execution of Ted Bundy, and saw his photo. In the story, Bundy’s revealed his M.O. to the journalists who covered his death sentence, and Harry claims what Bundy told them was exactly what happened to her. Read the rest

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/11/debbie-harry-debunks-the-debun.html

There is absolutely nothing in this trailer that doesn't instill me with an intense sense of glee. Read the rest

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/11/seven-stages-to-achieve-eterna.html

The Beastie Boys Story drops on April 24 via Apple TV+, as previously reported. But now it's been announced that this Spike Jonze-directed "live documentary experience" will show first on 19 U.S. IMAX screens beginning in early April.

Apple and IMAX are proud to present “Beastie Boys Story” in the IMAX Experience. This limited series event includes a special IMAX version of the film, where Beastie Boys Mike Diamond and Adam Horovitz tell you an intimate, personal story of their band and 40 years of friendship in this live documentary experience directed by their longtime friend and collaborator, filmmaker Spike Jonze. Each night features a unique experience with Adrock, Mike D, Spike Jonze & very special guests.

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/11/beastie-boys-story-to-show-at.html

Described by the BBC as the "loo roll boss", Tony Richards is the operations director at one of the world's largest manufacturers of toilet paper. They are ramping up to meet demand, he says, and promises that there'll be plenty available should the coronavirus pandemic continue to deepen.

Many people in the UK have been stockpiling toilet paper in anticipation of isolation measures.

But there's plenty of toilet paper to go round, and capacity to make more - so there's no need to panic, says Tony Richards of Essity at the company's factory in Salford.

Filmed by Justin Oliver. Produced by Niall-James Convery and Chris Robinson. Edited by Dougal Shaw

The enormous toilet roll in the above screengrab is called the "Mother Reel"  I'm not making this up  and will be portioned into 10,000 baby rolls for the cleanliness and comfort of your anus. Read the rest

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/11/top-toilet-paper-manufacturer.html

It was another big night for Joe Biden, now leading rival Bernie Sanders 836 to 686 in the Dem delegate total, but Tulsi Gabbard picked up her second delegate and is still in the race! John Heilemann:

Tulsi is dead serious and still running.pic.twitter.com/GAsLA74GXi

 John Heilemann (@jheil) March 11, 2020

Read the rest

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/11/gabbard-in-it-to-win-it.html

At 30-years-old, Zachary McCoy was really getting his shit together. He'd recently finished his associate's degree in computer programming, and he was exercising on the reg, riding his bike around his Gainesville, Florida neighbor and tracking his progress on the RunKeeper app. Things were looking up — until the morning when he got that fateful email. From NBC News:

It was from Google’s legal investigations support team, writing to let him know that local police had demanded information related to his Google account. The company said it would release the data unless he went to court and tried to block it. He had just seven days.

[…]

[McCoy's parents] agreed to dip into their savings to pay for a lawyer. The lawyer, Caleb Kenyon, dug around and learned that the notice had been prompted by a “geofence warrant,” a police surveillance tool that casts a virtual dragnet over crime scenes, sweeping up Google location data — drawn from users’ GPS, Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and cellular connections — from everyone nearby. […]

[McCoy] looked up his route [on the RunKeeper app] on the day of the March 29, 2019, burglary and saw that he had passed the victim’s house three times within an hour, part of his frequent loops through his neighborhood, he said.

“It was a nightmare scenario,” McCoy recalled. “I was using an app to see how many miles I rode my bike and now it was putting me at the scene of the crime. And I was the lead suspect.”

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/11/how-one-guys-exercise-routin.html

In Ashland, Louisiana, a woman has been arrested on drug charges when police decided the $5,000 cash she used to post an inmate’s bail carried the “strong odor of marijuana.” The Terrebonne Parish Sheriff’s Office started nosing around Stormy Lynn Parfait, 33, last Friday after she showed up to pay bond for an inmate jailed on drug charges.

From the Associated Press:

After catching a whiff of the cash, a detective searched her car while she was still at the jail and found nearly $40,000 more inside, along with about 100 Klonopin pills and a food stamp card that wasn’t registered to Parfait, according to the sheriff’s statement.

Investigators found hundreds of additional pills and cash as well as marijuana, cocaine and paraphernalia, during a search of Parfait’s home later, news outlets reported. Four unattended children there were turned over to a relative.

Parfait was charged with multiple counts of possession with intent to distribute drugs, four counts of illegal use of a controlled drug in the presence of persons under 17, taking contraband to or into a correctional institution and other related charges, authorities said.

More at AP: Police jail woman who paid bail with marijuana-scented cash Read the rest

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/10/woman-in-jail-after-paying-bai.html

Everyone in my family has stolen my n0-show socks. They have little rubber stripes to keep the socks from slipping off your heel. Interestingly, the photo on the Amazon page shows the socks being work inside out. If you wear them as shown, the rubber stripes will come in contact with your shoe and pull the sock off your heel. I bought six more pair at a great price using discount code 3M4HRN68. Read the rest

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/10/get-these-no-show-socks-at-a-g.html

Like any machine, your computer sometimes needs a tune-up, and the more you use it, the more likely it needs some TLC. Although, with plenty of rarely-used and obsolete files, tons of cache storage, extensions, and other power-hogs living on the hard drive, it's difficult to know what's safe to touch (i.e., delete) or even where to find things you'd want to get rid of.

Instead of taking chances with your all-important laptop or desktop computer, call in some professional help that doesn't actually involve making any calls. With a safe all-in-one solution utility, you can effortlessly run a scan of the disk and browsers to clean things up, manage sensitive files, and boost your CPU's speed and performance. This highly-reviewed offering from MacPaw is available for Mac and PC and will have your machine running like new in no time.

CleanMyPC: Junk Cleaner for Windows 7 & Higher

CleanMyPC will do exactly what its name implies. It gets rid of junk files, removes malware, keeps the Windows registry clean, shows you all the auto-run items so you can disable them, disables Hibernation mode to save gigabytes, and shreds sensitive files so they can't be recovered. It even scans your browsers to gather online activity for your review.

CleanMyPC is available now for $67.99, a savings of 24% on MSRP.

CleanMyMac X: Junk Cleaner for Mac 10.10 & Higher

The Mac version of this software is impressive. It frees up to 5 times more disk space, offers 2.5 times more optimized apps, and boasts 4 times faster boot time. Read the rest

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/10/make-your-computer-run-like-ne.html

Recently unsealed court papers are not likely to help Harvey Weinstein when he gets sentenced tomorrow for two rape convictions. The New York Times reports the court papers contain emails from Weinstein to Michael Bloomberg and Jeff Bezos begging for their help, and email to him from his brother Bob telling him he belongs in "hell."

The following paragraph in the Times story is the most alarming, and I'm surprised it didn't make it into the headline:

In one email, Mr. Weinstein suggested that the actress Jennifer Aniston — who he believed had complained about him — should be killed. And even as he endeavored to repair his reputation and excuse his behavior, his communications on the matter were often self-centered, unapologetic, and at times, patronizing.

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/10/in-unsealed-court-papers-wein.html

An unusual artwork at the Hotline Pink Thrift Shop in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina caught the eye of volunteer Wendy Hawkins. Intrigued, she brought it to a nearby art gallery to see if they could offer any insight. Turns out, the piece is a woodcut print from Salvador Dal'i Divine Comedy series of watercolors painted in the 1950s. And the print is signed. While the piece is certainly striking, Dal'i authorized countless prints that he signed in his lifetime. Still, the thrift store sold it for $1,200 that they will put to good use. From CNN:

[Michael Lewis, executive director of the Outer Banks Hotline, which runs the thrift shops] told CNN he doesn't know who donated the art.

"We get things donated in the middle of the night and sometimes people just drop off things and leave, so we have no idea who donated it," he said.

Lewis said they plan to use the money from the sale to help pay for their shelter for survivors of domestic violence and abuse, anti-bullying efforts and other programs.

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/10/a-signed-salvador-dali-woodcut.html

Harvard University told its 20,000 students not to return to campus after spring break concludes on March 23. They'll be given online classes instead.

From MIT Technology Review:

Harvard said the move to online classes is meant to avoid large gatherings and close contact between people. The campus will otherwise remain open and operating.

The move to online classes follows similar steps by west coast universities, including the University of Washington in Seattle.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash Read the rest

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/10/harvard-is-telling-all-student.html

On Friday, police were called to the Union School District in Rimersburg, Pennsylvania after a "known" juvenile allegedly robbed the school cafeteria of a juice box valued at 80 cents.

crop of image by Hp.Baumeler (CC BY-SA 4.0) Read the rest

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/10/police-called-to-school-over-s.html

If you were a child of the 80s, you were almost certainly scarred and traumatized by the hero Atreyu's failure to save his beloved horse Artax from the Swamp of Sadness in The Neverending Story.

Welp, now some horrible bastards decided to turn this moment into a flower pot set.

Recreate one of the most emotionally disturbing movie scenes of the 1980's with our exclusive Neverending figurines. Watch as our young hero desperately tries to save his horse from the sad swamp (your house plant.) Don't worry, the horse survives in the end!

I guess there might be some therapeutic value to it if you place the figurines into succulent pots, or some other domestic plant that's difficult to kill. Or if you just have a morbid streak and want to constantly relive the end of your childhood innocence as it stands juxtaposed against brilliance of life. Your mileage may vary, and either way, it can be yours for about 17 bucks.

Neverending Story Planter Gnomes [TruffleShuffle]

Read the rest

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/10/do-you-have-trouble-keeping-yo.html

Gougers have until March 15 to resell face mask in Japan. After that they face a fine and imprisonment.

From Japan Times:

In a prominent example of price-gouging, an assemblyman in Shizuoka Prefecture was revealed to have made yen8.9 million off of selling packets of 2,000 face masks via online auctions for between yen30,000 {$300] to yen170,000 each. He later apologized.

The trade ministry official said it was unclear whether the assemblyman, 53-year-old Hiroyuki Morota, could have been charged under the new rule because he runs a trading company and may not be classified as a reseller.

Image: Public Domain Read the rest

https://boingboing.net/2020/03/10/if-you-try-to-resell-a-face-ma.html