Апофеозом работы по курсовой стала неожиданная находка - книга Амиры Джамал "Мудрость менопаузы". О чем ещё можно мечтать?

+ 1. Your get up and go has got up and gone.
+ 2. A man intimately knows the difference between prostate and prostrate.
+ 3. An organ recital has nothing to do with music.
+ 4. You've gone from "good lookin'" to "lookin' good".
+ 5. Clerks automatically give you the "senior citizen" discount.
+ 6. Your broad mind and narrow waist change places.

1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.
2. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
3. At the breakfast table you hear "snap, crackle, pop" and you're not
eating cereal.
4. Your back goes out but you stay home.
5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
8. When happy hour is a nap.
9. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does..
10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you, and you always hated it.
11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure
the street is still there.
13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
20. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
21. It takes twice as long to look half as good.
22. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
23. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your
head the whole time.
24. You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.
25. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.
26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.
27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even
remember being on top of it.

Н: Что-то случилось?
Т: Нет.
Н: Ты купила тест?
Т: Нет.
Н: Почему?
Т: Уже не нужен.
Н: А почему не радуешься?
Т: Не радостно.
Н: Ну конечно, теперь мы хотим ребёнка...

Не судьба.
Слишком хорошее зрение для линз.
Слишком плохое для без линз.
Дилемма.

1 You can GET chocolate.
2 "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3 Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4 You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5 You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6 You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7 If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
8 Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
9 The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10 You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
11 You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face =lapped.
12 You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13 With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14 Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15 You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16 Good chocolate is easy to find.
17 You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18 You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19 When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
20 With chocolate size doesn't matter.

Как раз то, что я прочитала на плакате в больнице:
Чтобы сохранить молодость, найдите себе спутника жизни. Секс !!! 2 РАЗА В НЕДЕЛЮ!!! значительно продлевает жизнь...
Вот так!
Так что с сегодняшнего дня
воздержание,
воздержание
и ещё раз
ВОЗДЕРЖАНИЕ!!!

Young Man
There's no need to feel down,
I said, Young Man
Get yourself off the ground,
I said, Young Man
'Cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be un-happy..

Young Man
There's a place you can go,
I said, Young Man
When you're short on your dough,
You can stay there
And I'm sure you will find,
Many ways to have a good time..

It's fun to stay at the YMCA,
It's fun to stay at the YMCA.
They have everything for young men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys..

It's fun to stay at the YMCA,
It's fun to stay at the YMCA.
You can get yourself clean,
You can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel..

Young Man - Are you listening to me?
I said, Young Man,
What do you wanna' be?
I said, Young Man
You can make real your dreams,
But you've got to know this one thing:

No man,
Does it all by himself,
I said, Young Man
Put your pride on the shelf,
And just go there -
To the YMCA,
I'm sure they can help you today..

It's fun to stay at the YMCA,
It's fun to stay at the YMCA.
They have everything for young men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys..

It's fun to stay at the YMCA,
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
You can get yourself clean,
You can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel..

Young Man,
I was once in your shoes,
I said, I was -
Down and out with the blues,
I felt no man cared that I were alive,
I felt the whole world was so tired.

That's when,
Someone came up to me,
And said, Young Man
Take a walk up the street,
It's a place there -
Called the YMCA,
They can start you back on your way..

It's fun to stay at the YMCA,
It's fun to stay at the YMCA.
They have everything for young men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys..

YMCA,
It's fun to stay at the
YMCA..

Young Man, Young Man
There's no need to feel down,
Young Man, Young Man
Pick yourself off the ground..

YMCA
And just go to the -
YMCA

Young Man, Young Man
I was once in your shoes
Young Man, Young Man
I was down with the blues..

My Love is on the line, my love is on the line
My Love is on the line, my love is on the line
2x[Dil La Liya Be-parvah dey naal]
My Love is on the line, my love is on the line

A little late for all the things you didn't say
I'm not sad for you
But I'm sad for all the time I had to waste
'Cause I learned the truth
Your heart is in a place I no longer want to be
I knew there'd come a day I'd set you free 'cause
I'm sick and tired of always being sick and tired

2x[Dil La Liya Be-parvah dey naal]

Your love is unfair
You live in a world where you didn't listen
And you didn't care
So I'm floating, I'm floating on air
4x[Dil La Liya Be-parvah dey naal]
(I am on air)

No warning of such a sad song
Of broken hearts
My dreams of fairy tales and fantasies
were torn apart ohhh
I lost my peace of mind somewhere along the way
I knew there'd come a time you'd hear me say
I'm sick and tired of always being sick and tired

2x[Dil La Liya Be-parvah dey naal]

Your love is unfair
You live in a world where you didn't listen
And you didn't care
So I'm floating, I'm floating on air

My Love is on the line, my love is on the line
My Love is on the line, my love is on the line

2x[Dil La Liya Be-parvah dey naal]

My Love is on the line, my love...

Your love is unfair
You live in a world where you didn't listen
And you didn't care
So I'm floating, I'm floating on air

Your love isn't fair
You live in a world where you didn't listen
And you didn't care
So I'm floating, I'm floating on air

If the pigs try to get at you, park it like its hot
park it like its hot
park it like its hot.

А ведь все, ну просто абсолютно все считают, что это не справедливо. Бедные. Аж жалко.

Еще один вопрос подобного содержания, и я убью того, кого бог пошлет ко мне с этим вопросом. Возможно, кому-то сильно провинившемуся уже приготорлена эта судьба.

Да нет, так, ничего...

Извини, парень, но твоя дива - это что-то с чем-то. И если ты из-зи ЭТОГО так страдаешь, то все даже гораздо хуже, чем я думала. Это почти "на нее все мужики оборачиваются", даже пожалуй сравнимо с теорией "главное - уметь останавливать свое тело"... Хотя нет. Тут я, конечно, погорячилась. С теорией остановки тела ничто не сравнится.

Папа: тебе не кажется, что на кухне темно?
Т: Да, пожалуй, темновато.
П: Странно, что нам кажется одно и то же.
Т: Да, действительно.
П: Это невозможно ничем объяснить. Для этого даже существует специальный термин - "феномен кухонной темноты". Ученые много лет бьются над этой проблемой и все напрасно.
Да...

T: Ты что, знаешь слово "яйца"?
Paul: Yeah, you have to know such words in case some girl says: "i'm going to cut your "яйца" off!"

Read between the lines!!!!
Это сильно.

Дневник - отхожее место для дурной головы. Весь отстой здесь. Мне тут подумалось, а что если все эти имбицилы, которые одеваются во все черное, ходят по кладбищам, фоткаются с памяткиками неизвестного бомжа и т.д. - что если в жизни они вполне обычные люди? А дневник для них - это просто пресс их бредовых постотходняковых идей?

Не понимаю, зачем это все? Зачем ждать так долго – 2 никому не нужных года – если можно все закончить сейчас? Очень интересно: когда много проблем и ты, собрав все силы, их разгребаешь за весьма короткий срок, появляется ложное чувство гордости за самого себя, но его хватает так ненадолго! Оно быстро прокисает и остается только тухлый депресняк. Да, ничего больше.

Меня вынудили это сделать.