I've been pretty out of it for the past 2 weeks due to certain unpleasant discoveries about my personal life. I've been trying to keep it up, keep posting art and tutorials but I'm just really not feeling it and probably won't be for the next few weeks.

Apologies in advance.

I feel like I grew up on the internet. As a child of dysfunctional families, I could always seek comfort by venting out the pain to everyone. It helped me get by the most bleak days when my mom was suicidal and going through so many divorces.

It's not that I don't feel that connection anymore. I'm sure if I opened up to everyone, I would have the same amazing support I always had while growing up, but as an "adult", I find myself unable to open up as freely as I once did.

I'm confused and hurt, bottling up the pain and pretending everything will be okay. Logically, I know everything will be okay eventually. In time, when I look back on this day, I will think that's just a part of life, how silly to waste away over these things, but in this moment I'm losing it.

I don't mean to be vague, I just don't know how to put everything into words. Between the conflicting emotions of spilling my heart out and keeping it together, all I can say is I'm not okay.