Narghinn, ïðîäóáëèðóþ, íà âñÿêèé ñëó÷àé, èç ìîåãî ïîñòà.
Èòàê, «Ð» (àëôàâèò êèðèëëè÷åñêèé).
1. Ðàçíîîáðàçèå. Íåñìîòðÿ íà òî, ÷òî «ïðèâû÷êà ñâûøå íàì äàíà», ñ÷àñòüÿ â ïðèâû÷íîì ÿ íå îáðåòàþ, è ìíå íóæíî ïîñòîÿííî âèäåòü, ñëûøàòü, îùóùàòü ÷òî-òî íîâîå. Áåç ðàçíîîáðàçèÿ ÿ íà÷èíàþ îò÷àÿííî ñêó÷àòü, ó ìåíÿ ñòðåìèòåëüíî ïîðòèòñÿ íàñòðîåíèå, ïîýòîìó ïîñòîÿííî èùó íåïîçíàííîå, êîòîðîå çíà÷èòåëüíî ñòèìóëèðóåò…
2. Ðàçâèòèå. Íå õî÷ó îñòàâàòüñÿ íà «ïðîéäåííîì óðîâíå», ïîýòîìó ëþáîé îïûò, äàæå îòðèöàòåëüíûé, ïðèâåòñòâóåòñÿ.
3. Ðåàëüíîñòü – ïîðàçèòåëüíî èíòðèãóþùåå ìíîãîóðîâíåâîå ïðîñòðàíñòâî, ãðàíèöû êîòîðîãî ÷àñòî ðàçìûâàþòñÿ ïîä äåéñòâèåì íåêîòîðûõ âíóòðåííèõ è – ðåæå – âíåøíèõ ôàêòîðîâ. ×òî æå ìîæåò áûòü èíòåðåñíåå ïåðåïëåòåíèÿ ðåàëüíîñòåé?..
4. Ðàâíîïðàâèå. Â àáñîëþòå – íåäîñòèæèìî, íî îòíîñèòåëüíî âîçìîæíî.
5. Ðîê. Êàê ìóçûêàëüíîå íàïðàâëåíèå è êàê ñóäüáà. Ïåðâîå – «âîðîòà, îòêóäà âûøåë ÿ» (ñ), âòîðîå – ýëåìåíò ðàçíîîáðàçèÿ.
6. Ðàâíîäóøèå. Ìíå íå ñâîéñòâåííî. Êðàéíå ðåäêîå ÷óâñòâî. Èñêëþ÷åíèå èç ìîåé àìáèâàëåíòíîñòè. Ïîñëåäíèé êðóã äàíòîâñêîãî Àäà è äëÿ ìåíÿ, è äëÿ òåõ, êòî ÿâèëñÿ åãî îáúåêòîì.
7. Ðàññòîÿíèå.  ïðîñòðàíñòâåííîì ïëàíå – ëþáëþ ñîçäàâàòü ðàññòîÿíèå ìåæäó òî÷êîé ìîåãî íàõîæäåíèÿ â äàííûé ìîìåíò è ïîñòîÿííûì «ìåñòîì ïðåáûâàíèÿ». Ëþáëþ óåçæàòü, ÷òîáû âåðíóòüñÿ èçìåíåííîé. À âîò â ìåæëè÷íîñòíîì ïëàíå – äîñòàòî÷íî áîëåçíåííîå ÿâëåíèå, êîãäà ìåíÿ äåðæèò íà ðàññòîÿíèè âàæíûé äëÿ ìåíÿ ÷åëîâåê. Ïî îòíîøåíèþ ê äðóãèì ÿ è ñàìà î÷åíü ÷àñòî äèñòàíöèðóþñü, ïðèáëèæàÿ ëèøü î÷åíü è î÷åíü íåìíîãèõ.
8. Ðàññâåò. Ïåðåõîäíîå ñîñòîÿíèå. Ëþáëþ êàê î÷åíü çûáêîå âðåìÿ ñóòîê, êàê çàðîæäåíèå ÷åãî-òî íîâîãî, êàê îáåùàíèå íåïîçíàííîãî.
9. Ðàíèìîñòü ïîäñòåðåãàåò ìåíÿ â ñîâåðøåííî íåîæèäàííûõ ñèòóàöèÿõ è âûïàäàåò èç ìîåãî îáû÷íîãî ïðèíÿòèÿ âñåãî è âñåõ êàê äàííîñòè. Ìåíÿ ñëîæíî è îäíîâðåìåííî ëåãêî îáèäåòü. Ëåãêî îáèäåòü ðàññòîÿíèåì.
10. Ðûæèé – öâåò ìîåãî äåòñòâà è î÷åíü íåîäíîçíà÷íûé öâåò ðåàëüíîñòè. Ëþáëþ åãî.
And now – Latin “P”:
1. Passion. No comment.
2. Peace. I hate wars. Any. Perhaps, because I experienced one of them. So I avoid any conflicts and try to find efficient solutions. Peace is my natural state.
3. Paganism. It’s extremely interesting religious phenomenon I’d like to study in details, because I feel something prehistoric and sacral in it. Paganism may help me to realize my current religious views, I believe…
4. Pain is one of my favourite metal bands. And it is a starting point of joy and pleasure. Sometimes.
5. Paradox. It attracts me and occurs in my inner world.
6. Path. It includes motion, development, changes, non-static, life…
7. Poison is my distinctive feature. But not for everybody.
8. Poetry. Unfortunately, I’m unable to compose poems; I have no special talent for it. However, I adore reading poems, analyzing them, finding something that reflects my outlook. Poetry is quite subtle verbal device for influencing my psyche.
9. Psyche. I believe it’s something presently not belonging to me.
10. Point of no return. I never return either to a place or a person. I never return after passing one little point. This point permanently varies, but it is not my impulse to create it.