i didnt speak to my bf today and that cause me to feel like shit. I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!! even though ill see him on friday i still miss him. why hasnt he called me maybe its a dumb question..actually it is a dumb question. well i miss him like hell. i cant stand it but what else can i do. if i call him through his cell hes gonna have to pay a lot i guess i wont call him. ill let him call me. but anyway i miss him. i love him too much but what can i do...i dotnknow how to handle this. for some fucking reason it feeel like something wrong is going to happen...i dont know what but i feel it....i think im going crazy this time...aawwwww hes finally on yay! i thought i was going to go nuts! LOL fuck i am parafuckingnoia. well i better give all of my attention on my bf.

https://moss.livejournal.com/1080.html

i didnt speak to my bf today and that cause me to feel like shit. I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!! even though ill see him on friday i still miss him. why hasnt he called me maybe its a dumb question..actually it is a dumb question. well i miss him like hell. i cant stand it but what else can i do. if i call him through his cell hes gonna have to pay a lot i guess i wont call him. ill let him call me. but anyway i miss him. i love him too much but what can i do...i dotnknow how to handle this. for some fucking reason it feeel like something wrong is going to happen...i dont know what but i feel it....i think im going crazy this time...aawwwww hes finally on yay! i thought i was going to go nuts! LOL fuck i am parafuckingnoia. well i better give all of my attention on my bf.

http://moss.livejournal.com/1080.html

yeah life sucks. why cant it just die off god fucking damn it! i dont know why cant my bf call me instead of having me call him. doesnt he know htat it will cost him more if i were to calll him. .. he is soo fucking stupid its not even funny. i went to his birthday and his friend put me on fucking trial. god damn it i felt like i was put on trial. self incrimination for the love of god. sheesh. i dont know what ot say . i just cant believe it. he did that ot me. it was like they both were there examining my personality...they were fucking prosecuting me i cant believe it. of course my bf didnt say anuything but i knew he had his share in it its just that he doesnt want to ask me anything ..fuck i nearly blew up when his fucking friend called me a liar. i could have sworn i was gonna call up my friends who live la and come up to where i was and beat the fucking shit out of that mother fucker. fucking dumb fuck. i felt so intruded violated and just sooo insulted i cant believe i acutally let that one go i just cant believe it. i guess if my bf werent there i would have had him killed damn fucking bf look what he turned me into...im fucking too nice now...im some dumb fucking whore yeah. omg his friend thought i was a 10 dollar whore. his mother is a fucking whore. i swear ill find his address and when it is necessary i will do what i must have and should have doen on friday. damn dumb fuck. oh yeah i lost my virginity on friday well actually on saturday morning...the sex was fucking painful i didnt want to fucking say anything because i didnt want to ruin the good atmosphere ( god i hope he knows whta i would do for him) until at the end when it got really painful i could do it anymore. i hope itll be better next time.better do some studying so that ill have time to call my bf like i promised him yesterday. i promised him to call him yesterday but i was soo fucking busy so i didnt. ill call him tonight to make it up. oph why the fuck did he ask me to call him why cant he call me. i thought of two possible reasons. one is that hes lettign me decide to seee if i still want him because hes insecure and the other reason is htat he doesnt want me anymorea nd that is why hes doing this. well ill call him at 11. i hope hell be home by then. now off to studying land

https://moss.livejournal.com/838.html

yeah life sucks. why cant it just die off god fucking damn it! i dont know why cant my bf call me instead of having me call him. doesnt he know htat it will cost him more if i were to calll him. .. he is soo fucking stupid its not even funny. i went to his birthday and his friend put me on fucking trial. god damn it i felt like i was put on trial. self incrimination for the love of god. sheesh. i dont know what ot say . i just cant believe it. he did that ot me. it was like they both were there examining my personality...they were fucking prosecuting me i cant believe it. of course my bf didnt say anuything but i knew he had his share in it its just that he doesnt want to ask me anything ..fuck i nearly blew up when his fucking friend called me a liar. i could have sworn i was gonna call up my friends who live la and come up to where i was and beat the fucking shit out of that mother fucker. fucking dumb fuck. i felt so intruded violated and just sooo insulted i cant believe i acutally let that one go i just cant believe it. i guess if my bf werent there i would have had him killed damn fucking bf look what he turned me into...im fucking too nice now...im some dumb fucking whore yeah. omg his friend thought i was a 10 dollar whore. his mother is a fucking whore. i swear ill find his address and when it is necessary i will do what i must have and should have doen on friday. damn dumb fuck. oh yeah i lost my virginity on friday well actually on saturday morning...the sex was fucking painful i didnt want to fucking say anything because i didnt want to ruin the good atmosphere ( god i hope he knows whta i would do for him) until at the end when it got really painful i could do it anymore. i hope itll be better next time.better do some studying so that ill have time to call my bf like i promised him yesterday. i promised him to call him yesterday but i was soo fucking busy so i didnt. ill call him tonight to make it up. oph why the fuck did he ask me to call him why cant he call me. i thought of two possible reasons. one is that hes lettign me decide to seee if i still want him because hes insecure and the other reason is htat he doesnt want me anymorea nd that is why hes doing this. well ill call him at 11. i hope hell be home by then. now off to studying land

http://moss.livejournal.com/838.html

i am god damn jealous and im god damn insecure yeah thats what i am. i dotn know maybe im not maybe im right. usualluyy im right aobut these things. i think for some reason my bf will cheat on me and go back to his ex and leave me all hurt and alone...omg i think ill have to kill myself if that really happened. i will. it hurts to get hurt. if he does do that ill make him opay. he will not live in peace and harmony. he will scream in his dream and dream of screaming in his dream. it will ne a a nightmare. i hate it when stuff like htat happens but he seems like the potential type. fuck i dotn understand why he still communicates with her and write in her journal i bet he still have affections for her. i dont know what to do. i just hope tomorrow i wont wake up and nothing will happen..i wont even exist. i really want to kill myself tonight. i reallyd o. i cant stand this insanity anymore. i just cant. i cant believe it. i love him so much but i dont know or should i say im not sure if he loves me. this is so fucked up. i think im too stressed out due to school and work. i will go bye

https://moss.livejournal.com/583.html

i am god damn jealous and im god damn insecure yeah thats what i am. i dotn know maybe im not maybe im right. usualluyy im right aobut these things. i think for some reason my bf will cheat on me and go back to his ex and leave me all hurt and alone...omg i think ill have to kill myself if that really happened. i will. it hurts to get hurt. if he does do that ill make him opay. he will not live in peace and harmony. he will scream in his dream and dream of screaming in his dream. it will ne a a nightmare. i hate it when stuff like htat happens but he seems like the potential type. fuck i dotn understand why he still communicates with her and write in her journal i bet he still have affections for her. i dont know what to do. i just hope tomorrow i wont wake up and nothing will happen..i wont even exist. i really want to kill myself tonight. i reallyd o. i cant stand this insanity anymore. i just cant. i cant believe it. i love him so much but i dont know or should i say im not sure if he loves me. this is so fucked up. i think im too stressed out due to school and work. i will go bye

http://moss.livejournal.com/583.html

i just realize that people cant let go of something. i wonder how would my bf feel if i told him im going to ny and staying with my the ex that i was going to marry a year ago for a whole week. and well be seeing each other day and night and night and day. see he doesnt understand the concept of jealousy. he understands it for his part but not mines. i think he still loves his ex but hes denying it. he refuses to listen to himself. i guess i should have let him go maybe that way hell be a lot happier. i dont know what to do. maybe im just crazy. i just want to die tjat way all the pain will go away. im so sick of everything. ill write somemore after the test. bye

https://moss.livejournal.com/348.html

i just realize that people cant let go of something. i wonder how would my bf feel if i told him im going to ny and staying with my the ex that i was going to marry a year ago for a whole week. and well be seeing each other day and night and night and day. see he doesnt understand the concept of jealousy. he understands it for his part but not mines. i think he still loves his ex but hes denying it. he refuses to listen to himself. i guess i should have let him go maybe that way hell be a lot happier. i dont know what to do. maybe im just crazy. i just want to die tjat way all the pain will go away. im so sick of everything. ill write somemore after the test. bye

http://moss.livejournal.com/348.html