The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than German
which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her
Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become
known as <Euro-English>. In the first year, <s> will replace the soft
<c>. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The
hard <c> will be dropped in favour of the <k>. This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome <ph> will be replaced with the <f>. This will make words
like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent <e> in the languag is disgrasful and it should
go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
<th> with <z> and <w> with <v>. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary <o> kan
be dropd from vords containing <ou> and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a
reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united Urop
vil finali kum tru. If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pipl.