В колонках играет - 2Pac & Biggie Tribute - City Clay

*falcetto* Caaaan
Anybody find me somebody to love?

Each morning I get up, I die a little, can barely stand on my feet. Take a look in the mirror and cry: Lord what are You doing to me? Well, I don't cry because I look weird or something. Nothing wrong here. I cry because I'm lonely.

When I began taking hold of things, I was stupid. I did learn something now. I learned there's no romance in homosexual sex for me. Just something like a form of masturbation. Never tried it though, but I see things happen. I see nothing wrong in being stupid about that for some time. Many boys that would've given their left eye for a snatch came to pleasing themselves, not quite each other, but cooperatively. Some went further.

"Life is endless discovering how foolish you were yesterday." (c)

The more I try to be happy, the more I realize: there's no happiness at all, it's just all made up. You're either all right or not. Nothing positive. Man, should I listen to less goth music!..

Then I thought if I was right. I doubted if I could even be right at all! Doubted if anyone's right! Doubt is not bad, but how do I make decisions?

"What is even God Himself has His own faith?" (c)

Blast it, grab today's picture and leave:
"Wonder where I've been all this time? Ask her!"

В колонках играет - Kanapi - Spellsong (Instrumental)
Настроение сейчас - I'm happy! For real!! La-lala-lala!.. See??? >_<

Maybe it's because of my way of interacting with the world that the world reacts on me this way? Who knows? Some guys talk to girls on ICQ and say what really is on their mind, they are just polite sometimes. And it impresses them! What I do is coordinate every single phrase I say. And it doesn't help me a bit.
"A mind of an intelligent living creature is like a computer. Only it has way more bugs" (c)
I mean, sometimes I do receive simpathy from who I speak to using this technique, it boosts the impression. But once I mess it up, there's no way back. If any real stuff talker fails, he loses the effect of one phrase. If I do, I lose all I managed to gain.
Of course, I was never supposed to reveal my cards, but as I just heard Bloodhound Gang sing, "I don't wanna beat around the bush"

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

That's what I'm thinking. Blast it. Am I having a life at all? If I can't keep it simple now, it ain't never gonna be no time to sit back and relax.

P.S. I'm having a date on Monday and she's bringing her friend. I think I'm supposed to bring my buddy as well, but... man, I really HATE it when they bring friends! It makes it twice as difficult when you're on your own. And I don't know who'd probably come with me...

P.P.S Hey mister! Yeah, you, Sora! When I said "Fuck TLK" I didn't mean literally!!

В колонках играет - Наутилус Помпилиус - Доктор твоего тела
Настроение сейчас - Messed up. Don't ask next time ^^

I don't even know what to say. Though I got a lot stuff to. Maybe someday I'll be done holding the weight of the world on my shoulders, but for now it's weighty as it never was.
It's changing. Relations I considered perfect turned out not half as ideal. But some others revealed themselves as if from outer space. All of a sudden I found myself to be hopelessly heterosexual. AND I'm, like, starting to lose the palm to this striped clown from... whatever. No, let me set it this way: I'm ALREADY trying to get it back. That's how far it went...
I suddenly realized it was not me who managed my contacts, it was THEM who managed ME. No matter how hard I tried to deal with them. Guess I'll just stop acting like juggling friends and enemies which takes pretty much energy and concentrate on myself. It's the 11th grade, what am I thinking!?

В колонках играет - Lacrimosa - Sacrifice
Настроение сейчас - Fucked up, as usual... >_<

If she never wishes to see me again then why give me a hope of she does? I don't get it a slightest bit! I don't know if there is some motherfucking etiquette about this kind of situation. If she does use it neither. All I know is I know nothing about her relations.
That son of a bitch Sandro acted like he just wanted to take a photo, did he? Well, he walked up close and said "You've lost her already buddy. Not me though". Then he watched my face turn serious and said "Hey, what made your look so complicated? Relax!" Shit, that very moment I wished he was dead! AND all of his fucking pals!
I was talking to her later that day, asked if she was going anywhere. She said nope unless they call us. Well, this morning I send her a message like "What about the call?". Ten or twenty minutes (I'd say years) later she replied with "No, I ain't going nowhere with you. Gotta go" And I'd appreciate that and it would be okay, but there was a Siemens fix graphic later in the message. The one was called "I am glad"...
Is she glad she isn't going with me? Damn, the fucking McDonald's is visited by her rather than me! The Gorky park is a lot more fun than oh-you-know-all-these-kisses-n-cuddling for her! Why the fuck is that? Why the FUCK is that, I asked ya!?

Does this motherfucking WORLD want me to start dating GUYS!? Fuck NO it ain't happenin'!

В колонках играет - Eminem - Still Don't Give A Fuck

Седой ангел вздыхает и объясняет, что вы - Светлый Ангел

Вы несёте Свет и боретесь с Тьмой. Возможно, какой-то частью души вы и понимаете единства Света и Тьмы, но не хотите этого признавать. Иногда вы слишком беспощадны и ваш Свет обжигает больше, чем ослепляет Тьма. При жизни вы были непримиримы потому, что не хотели, теперь вы примирится не можете.

Пройти тест

В колонках играет - Наутилус Помпилиус - Зверь

Настроение сейчас - Chain reaction depressed

[I don't give a fuck if you don't know English or ain't got any vocabularies. Neither if you feel tired or got a headache and shit. Read this before I bash you! This is very important! This goes out to everyone who has someone to care for!]

Now look, I really hate it when some of the guys or girls you're trying to get to know better of at all, starts to look and, what's worse, post depressed! This may be a single one night feeling about someone, like soul cries once, not more. Think about yourself. Now think about me! What am I supposed to do in such situations? When they go like "shit ain't gon' never be the same!", then I ask them "what's wrong?" and they reply like "no, no, it's all right. I'm alright, you know".
Why are they doing this? Are they thinking I'm just asking to mock on them later? I can't physically do this! I see you suffer even if you don't, it makes ME suffer as well! Do you want me to suffer? If I don't know about your problem, how can I be sure it is to be EVER solved? Huh? Why are you being so violent to me? Why do you bring me pain like you never had? Why do you keep doing this times after times!?
Why don't they want to tell me about their problem? Am I not of their friends? Private case, huh? Then why do you post these thoughts of depression here? Do you think I ain't reading them? Do you think I ain't getting hurt when you say you are? Why do you always feel better the very next night and NOT TELL ME ABOUT IT KEEPING ME SUFFERING UNTIL I FINALLY SEE YOU'RE HAPPY AGAIN!?
Stop doing this! For God's sake, forbear!

This goddam test said:

K	Kinky
A	Amorous
N	Neat
A	Accurate
P	Profound
I	Intelligent

I like and accept everything except the first one... Or it is the truth I never knew? ))

В колонках играет - Sting - Fragile
Настроение сейчас - Thoughtful

Uhm...

The one to choose the right way...

Nah... this gotta be fresh.

Ay wassup y'all Detroit n NY n****z?
No, that's rude and racy.

What about...
"Isn't your existence just made up by yourself? Then what IS you?"

Hey, that sounds smart. Quote me, someone! ))

Okay, I do appreciate you liking me. But I don't quite know whom to expect sympathy from! It's obviously we didn't talk much (or at all) before, so... anyone? Reveal yourself, pleeeease!! )

В колонках играет - Poets of The Fall - Late Goodbye
Настроение сейчас - Fuckin' happy! ))

I'm read by three foxes (2F, 1M) and one gangsta girl! Now how do you like that? =)
Anyway, life ain't never gonna be no better than this! I'm happy now! Yeah, I'm FUCKING happy! Fucking also makes me happy, you know. The fucking fucking! Ha-ha!

В колонках играет - Eminem - Like Toy Soldiers
Настроение сейчас - The one you have after a good chat with a girl on the phone)

Okay, I've been caught on this, but I just couldn't keep quiet and not post it) I didn't really meet many people I'd love to speak about. The one female is MyZ@, of course. Really fell for her... ) The one male... let it be Kolosok))))

В колонках играет - Kanapi - Shoot These Hoes

And it says:

Quote of the day:
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
-Britney Spears

And some Rex Barker's quote from "No Good Deed Goes Unrewarded":
One day, years ago, a small rat surfaced from his nest to find himself between the paws of a huge sleeping lion, which immediately awoke and seized the rat. The rat pleaded with the fierce beast to be set free, and the lion, being very noble and wise, and in no need of such small prey, agreed to let the relieved rat go on his way.

Some days later in the same part of the forest, a hunter had laid a trap for the lion, and it duly caught him, so that the lion was trussed up in a strong net, helpless, with nothing to do than wait for the hunter to return.

But it was the rat who came along next, and seeing the lion in need of help, promptly set about biting and gnawing through the net, which soon began to unravel, setting the great lion free.

This is Rex Barker, CS (Catching and Seizing the Opportunities to help Others) reminding you of that old expression : What goes around, comes around, even if we don't always see it or understand it. In life, there is cause and effect of our actions. Just because we can not see or comprehend a blessing, doe not mean that it is not there or we have not been the recipient of it.

В колонках играет - Kanapi - Spellsong Theme

Though I could do something for these guys... write beats and raps and shit... You don't know who I'm talking about, do you? Well, keep guessing =)

В колонках играет - Kanapi - We Shine '06 =)

This picture reminds me of someone... someone I... uhm... used to know.

В колонках играет - Eminem - Nail In The Coffin (Benzino Diss)

I ain't got the answer, curious if you can see it:
What is tougher, being human or a human being?

В колонках играет - Outkast - Ms. Jackson

Fuck it, it's Saturday, and I only made it,
I can make friends and enemies, but not lovers and haters,
I don't know what's happening, am I stubborn or pageant?
Damn it, I don't believe I cannot stop the aging...