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Статистика LiveInternet.ru: показано количество хитов и посетителей
Создан: 01.07.2004
Записей: 37
Комментариев: 63
Написано: 89

Funny_English





Funny English - it's real method for learning English language

Programming is like sex

Пятница, 14 Июля 2006 г. 00:26 + в цитатник
  • One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. (Michael Sinz)
  • Once you get started, you’ll only stop because you’re exhausted.
  • It takes another experienced person to really appreciate what you’re doing.
  • Conversely, there’s some odd people who pride themselves on their lack of experience.
  • You can do it for money or for fun.
  • If you spend more time doing it than watching TV, people think you’re some kind of freak.
  • It’s not really an appropriate topic for dinner conversation.
  • There’s not enough taught about it in public school.
  • It doesn’t make any sense at all if you try to explain it in strictly clinical terms.
  • Some people are just naturally good.
  • But some people will never realize how bad they are, and you’re wasting your time trying to tell them.
  • There are a few weirdos with bizarre practices nobody really is comfortable with.
  • One little thing going wrong can ruin everything.
  • It’s a great way to spend a lunch break.
  • Everyone acts like they’re the first person to come up with a new technique.
  • Everyone who’s done it pokes fun at those who haven’t.
  • Beginners do a lot of clumsy fumbling about.
  • You’ll miss it if it’s been a while.
  • There’s always someone willing to write about the only right way to do things.
  • It doesn’t go so well when you’re drunk, but you’re more likely to do it.
  • Sometimes it’s fun to use expensive toys.
  • Other people just get in the way.
Uhm, and if you're a nerd, you do it better alone?


Понравилось: 24 пользователям

Learn Alphabet

Пятница, 07 Октября 2005 г. 15:16 + в цитатник

Учите аглицкий, господа лохи!

Среда, 21 Сентября 2005 г. 22:57 + в цитатник



Процитировано 19 раз

Mexican Seafood

Среда, 17 Августа 2005 г. 01:30 + в цитатник
Oh, it's your face, it isn't even
true the jaws and claims
you entertain and chew the fungus mold
is my intraction
oh, it's only a, it is infection.
Only her tonight, until I pay
Only her tonight, I fell asleep
Oh, coming from, the diarrhea
Oh, her tired form
I come in peace and live a dirty book
on the cloudy class, fender burn, and become a childhood mess
Only her tonight, until I plea
Only her tonight, until I sing
Oh, take me back, lets just concise some
flies, bugs and fleas and even meal can't
stain the vaseline
It's headed burger's out
in case it learns and takes it's childhood such

Эту песенку сейчас Тату поют.

Понедельник, 04 Июля 2005 г. 23:35 + в цитатник






How Soon Is Now

I am the son and the heir

Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar

I am the son and the heir

Of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth how can you say

I go about things the wrong way?

I am Human and I need to be loved

Just like everybody else does


I am the son and the heir

Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar

I am the son and the heir

Of nothing in particular


You shut your mouth how can you say

I go about things the wrong way?

I am Human and I need to be loved

Just like everybody else does


There's a club, if you'd like to go

You could meet somebody

who really loves you


So you go, and you stand on your own

And you leave on your own

And you go home, and you cry

And you want to die


When you say it's gonna happen "now"

Well, when exactly doe you mean?

See I've already waited too long

And all my hope is gone


You shut your mouth how can you say

I go about things the wrong way?

I am Human and I need to be loved

Just like everybody else does

Когда же ты будешь жить настоящим?

Я сын и наследник

Застенчивости, это калечит меня.

Я сын и наследник

Но наследую то, что мне не нужно.

Твой рот на замке, как же ты можешь утверждать,

Что я говорю что-то не так?

Я - человек и хочу быть любимым,

Точно так же, как этого хочет каждый.


Я сын и наследник

Застенчивости, это калечит меня.

Я сын и наследник

Но наследую то, что мне не нужно.


Твой рот на замке, как же ты можешь утверждать,

Что я говорю что-то не так?

Я - человек и хочу быть любимым,

Точно так же, как этого хочет каждый.


Вот клуб, если захочешь пойти в него,

Ты можешь встретить кого-то,

кто действительно полюбит


Ты идешь, но все остается по-прежнему,

И ты все так же одинок.

И ты возвращаешся домой, и ты плачешь,

И тебе хочется умереть.


Ты говоришь: "Это должно произойти сейчас".

Ну, а когда точно?

Понимаешь, я тоже слишком долго ждал

И потерял всякую надежду.


Твой рот на замке, как же ты можешь утверждать,

Что я говорю что-то не так?

Я - человек и хочу быть любимым,

Точно так же, как этого хочет каждый.


Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble

Понедельник, 18 Апреля 2005 г. 22:06 + в цитатник

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
Читать далее...



Процитировано 1 раз

Buddha

Пятница, 25 Февраля 2005 г. 13:26 + в цитатник
......_=_
....q(-_-)p
.....'_) (_`
../__/ \ __\
.._ (<_ / )_..
(__\_\_|_/__) "Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. One who conquers himself is greater than another who conquers a thousand times a thousand on the battlefield". Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama

LI 3.9.25

Regular sex helps students

Понедельник, 07 Февраля 2005 г. 16:06 + в цитатник
A German sociologist Werner Habermehl says regular sex can help university students pass exams and get better grades.

Habermehl from the University of Hamburg said he and his team had tested students before and after sex.

They found that regular sexual activity significantly increased mental capability, but they found celibate students found it harder to make the grade.

As well as decreasing the length of time needed to complete a course, students with a healthy sex life also received better marks, said Habermehl.

The research was carried out together with German research institute GEWIS.
/Ananova:/

LI 3.9.25

Pink password

Воскресенье, 06 Февраля 2005 г. 16:55 + в цитатник
Girls, send a clear message to that special geek in your life with these boy short panties. Access is denied until the proper credentials have been supplied. You can never be too careful around those smooth-talking hackers and social engineers...

LI 3.9.25

Knowledge itself is power - F.Bacon

Вторник, 04 Января 2005 г. 01:58 + в цитатник
Knowledge itself is power - F.Bacon

What words the most beautiful?

Понедельник, 29 Ноября 2004 г. 20:07 + в цитатник
1. Mother (мать)
2. Passion (страсть)
3. Smile (улыбка)
4. Love (любовь)
5. Eternity (вечность)
48. Peekaboo (детская игра в прятки)
50. Kangaroo (кенгуру)
61. Oi (эй, ты)
63. Hiccup (икать, барахлить)
70. Hen night (девичник)

LI 3.9.25

what is it?

Понедельник, 22 Ноября 2004 г. 04:02 + в цитатник
it starts with the letter E
and ends with the letter E
it contains only one letter
and it is not the letter E
what is it?

LI 3.9.25

Очень полезная подборка материалов по английскому языку

Вторник, 16 Ноября 2004 г. 10:07 + в цитатник
Родной английский - сайт, который я давно уже выкачал себе на винт.

Самое главное для меня, что на нем есть - это библиотека. Советую сразу же скачать "Практическую грамматику английского языка" Л.Кутузова, книга идет первой в списке. Думаю, она станет вашим настольным конспектом грамматики.

Вообще, рекомендую как минимум пролистать все разделы сайта - я сам всего еще не пересмотрел, я там надолго... Для меня сайт полностью закрыл тему поиска каких-то пособий по изучению языка (ну, кроме пособий Драгункина и парного обучения).

LI 3.9.25

Ode to the Internet

Суббота, 13 Ноября 2004 г. 18:29 + в цитатник
Ode to the Internet

There are no trees or clouds
There not ones that you can touch
But there are millions of ideas
Of trees and clouds.
We inhabit a new space
Between touch and mind.
Fingers banging keyboards
Letters and digits filling a million monitors.
Zeroes and ones racing along
the narrowest of pathways
Into a network of hardware and software
Hardcoreware and softcoreware.
Ambassadors announcing their protocols
Strangers meeting, connecting, exchanging ideas
And remaining strangers.
The internetopolis grows and grows.
There are streets are lined with information.
The curious plug in their modems
And go surfing and exploring.
Some go hacking and stealing
It's not much different to where
The 'real' clouds drift
And the ‘real' trees loose their leaves
But it feels perhaps more.
Like living tomorrow today.
Like when people say black & white photos
Is more real than color.
It's an unstoppable surge of wizardry.
Speeds increase; quantities grow ever larger.
The potential of the human mind
Seems to have found a vehicle of expression.
You are on the cutting edge.
You are free of the body and the limits.
It's over decaying state imposes.
You can pee in the face of tradition -
There isn't one in cyberspace.
It makes postmodernism look dated.
It takes you places other technology cannot reach yet.
The WWW brings a thousand new doors to your doorstep.
It's a freeform collection of interests.
The organizers are the participants.
There's no government controlling your movements.
The vision of new spaces is opened up.
Existing spaces linked like never before.
More information; better and better technology
And an end to restrictive borders.
One big pulsating set of new ones held together
By a thing that has more to do with intangibles
Than the physical.

LI 3.9.25

CULINARY QUIZ

Понедельник, 20 Сентября 2004 г. 19:40 + в цитатник
QUESTIONS
1) When adding alcohol (beer, wine, sherry etc) to foods when cooking, how much alcohol is left after simmering the dish for 1 hour after the alcohol is added?
a) none b) 10% c) 25% d) 50% e) 100%

2) What did the ancient Mayans use allspice for, other than as a culinary herb?

3) What is the most dangerous source of disease causing bacteria in the average home kitchen?

4) What was the first toy advertised on television (1952)?

5) What is distance is the world record for watermelon seed spitting?

6) What type of flour can be found in peanut butter, margarine, chocolate, and ice cream?

7) Worldwide the most popular spice is black pepper. What is the second most popular spice?
a) oregano b) cumin c) saffron d) thyme e) paprika

8) According to folk wisdom, if you boil an egg while singing all 5 verses of this song, the egg will be perfectly cooked when you finish the song. Really, this is true. Can you name the song?

9) In 1951 the U.S. Dept of Defense conducted a survey to find out which dessert was the favorite among members of the U.S. armed services? What was their favorite dessert?
a) banana cream pie b) apple pie c) ice cream d) fruit e) chocolate cake

10) McDonald's french fries are cooked twice. Where are they cooked the first time? (Be specific).


Joke

Воскресенье, 01 Августа 2004 г. 16:39 + в цитатник
Mrs. Jones is having her house painted, and her husband comes
home from work and leans against the freshly painted wall.
The next day, she says to the painter, "You wanna see where
my husband put his hand last night?"
He sighs and says, "Look, lady, I got a tough day's work ahead
of me. Why don't you just make us a cup of tea?"


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