В колонках играет - Bloodbath +++ Ways to the grave +++
Настроение сейчас - oh, my emotional decay ))))

What do I feel now?.. Something so strange…like emptiness…the whole spirit is almost destroyed…what am I for?...just to be a human being…better to die than to feel love!... never wanted to feel such a strong emotion…what has become of me?... I am weak. I have never been so vulnerable… “Can not feel, can just bleed!..” the words completely for me…something so uncertain dwells my soul… I shall live, shall not be alone! Shall be with….somebody else…why have I, who has never loved anyone except myself, chosen such a being to love?! Unpredictable way of the river Destiny…I will not accept the defiance this time…it is not worth it. Not worth loving a human, whose heart is filled with somebody else…no place for me there…no place. I have not cried for months! But I could not stand indifference! The worst thing ever existed…I cried…half a night….I was in pain…mental decay….what could be worse?...Why have the Destiny played such a trick on me?! I did not ask for it! Why have I met him?! I did not want to! That strange sensation overwhelms me once again…such a torment…”I think, I can not love…” – a stupid phrase!!!!! It is not true. I have used it. Now I know it is not true. Maybe I will have enough tolerance to wait for another one? but will he be better? I do not know…but, perhaps, he will love me and will care about my modest little person…I only care now if I would I have enough strength to stand all this humiliation?...alone….will I ever break the chains of being like others?!...I want to!!! I will try to!!! that man wont stop me! a failure…just a common thing…not worth suffering…a man who has never cared about me…farewell…when you are ready to present yourself to someone he appears to be nothing…I came to the conclusion that I should live only for myself! I wanted to make the man happy…but he did not need it…he did not notice it…a fool…My dignity is all that I have. I am free now. The whole world is in front of me! Await! I will come )))) soon )))))
No hatred in me…just some kind of sadness.…