Борис Гольдберг,"О Праге с улыбкой"

                                                                    Догадаться б вы смогли?

                                                                 "А" по-чешски значит "И",

                                                                    И порой, как ни смешно,

                                                                "А" по-чешски значит "НО".                            

                                                                                                                          - ВЕZPEČNOST

                                                                                                                     Чтоб не спорить с чехом вечность,

                                                                                                                                Сразу вносим ясность:

                                                                                                                          Слово чешское беспечность                                                                                                                      Значит БЕЗОПАСТНОСТЬ.

                                                            - ČЕRSTVÝ

                                                               Парадоксы снова те же:

                                                        ЧЕРСТВЫЙ означает СВЕЖИЙ

                                                                                                                                 - FARA

                                                                                                                                Вы наверно не забыли:

                                                                                                                            Фары смысл совсем не тот.

                                                                                                                                И не часть автомобиля,

                                                                                                                                 А священника приход.

                                                                                                                        FARA - ЦЕРКОВНЫЙ ПРИХОД

                                                         - КОRYTO

                                                             Земли чехов, русских

                                                                 Водами омыты.

                                                             Дон течет по руслу,

                                                             Влтава - по корыту.

                                                              КОRYTO - РУСЛО

                                                                                                                          - МАТЕŘŠТINA

                                                                                                                         В чешских школах дисциплина

                                                                                                                            Под названьем Матерщина.

                                                                                                                              Не пошлют тебя куда-то,

                                                                                                                            Матерщина здесь без мата.

                                                                                                                               Просто каждый ученик

                                                                                                                               Учит свой родной язык.

                                                                                                                       МАТЕŘŠTINA - РОДНОЙ ЯЗЫК

                                                    - NEVĚSTKA

                                                   Сын женился. Стало жутко,

                                                   Что невестка - проститутка.

                                                 NEVĚSTKA – ПРОСТИТУТКА

                                                                                                                                     - PROČ

                                                                                                                                Сразу стало мне невмочь:

                                                                                                                               Мне сказала чешка : прочь.

                                                                                                                                  Волноваться ни к чему:

                                                                                                                           PROČ по чешски - "ПОЧЕМУ?"

                                                 -  СТУЛ     

                                               Как-то в гости я пришел,

                                              Сел на СТУЛ, а это СТОЛ.

                                                                                                                          -  ЖЕНЩИНА

                                                                                                                             Жена мне в Праге не нужна.

                                                                                                                        Здесь что ни ЖЕНЩИНА - ŽENA

                                             - ВНИМАНИЕ

                                                   И куда ни кинешь взор,

                                                   Всюду надписи "Позор!"

                                                      Объясню заранее,

                                           Что "POZOR!" - "ВНИМАНИЕ!"

                                                                                                                                    - ДУХИ

                                                                                                                                      Дама вся благоухает.

                                                                                                                                      Говорят: она воняет.

                                                                                                                                 Лингвистическая справка:

                                                                                                                                В Чехии ДУХИ - VOŇАVKA.

                                         - ОГУРЦЫ

                                         В Праге чехи, греки, турки

                                         Вам в салат кладут окурки,

                                             Но не курят молодцы,

                                         Ведь OKURKY - ОГУРЦЫ.           

                                                                                                                                - ФРУКТЫ

                                                                                                                                Выбирать умей продукты:

                                                                                                                            Купишь овощи, съешь фрукты.

                                                                                                                                     ФРУКТЫ - ОVOCE