Elena_Prikhodko, it's not exactly a dangerous climb, it's pretty steep and very rocky, so it's very easy to hurt yourself, especially on the descent. Usually you come across a few people during the hike, but I went right before the dark, so I was pretty much the lastand only person on the mountain. :)

self-made, you are absolutely right. I am rediscovering myself. It just so happens that during every relationship I do lose myself a bit, either by sacrificing, compromising or whatever...and it's nice to get myself back together, piece by piece. I haven't had much alone time in the past couple of years, it seems like I was constantly on a run, and now I can finally realax a bit.

ALI*lu*YA, oh, definitely. Everyone needs time alone, even the most extroverted people. :)

Loclier, I agree. I've always been a loner, and I'm happy that way, I don't need to be in a company of someone all the time, that would drive me nuts. But some things I don't like doing alone, like travelling etc... Where is that happy median? :)

CRAZY_VENUS, we all lose ourselves a bit in relationships - otherwise it wouldn't be a relationship. It's ok to lose a little bit of yourself by sacrificing some things to make it work and make your partner happier. You just have to know where to draw the line and stop and also you have to feel that your partner is sacrificing some things in return. Now, if a relationship requires too many sacrifices - then something is wrong and it just isnt working and most likely is not going to work. That's when it's time to escape and rediscover yourself :)

Исходное сообщение CRAZY_VENUS
Elena_Prikhodko, it's not exactly a dangerous climb, it's pretty steep and very rocky, so it's very easy to hurt yourself, especially on the descent. Usually you come across a few people during the hike, but I went right before the dark, so I was pretty much the lastand only person on the mountain. :)

as long as you feel great about it you should do it

self-made, I used to think it was normal to lose a bit of yourself in a relationship, but now it seems to me that it's wrong. A little bit here, a little bit there...Sacrificing here, compromising there, settling for less and it all turns into a mess after a while. Maybe I don't seem to notice where the limit between enough and too much is? Maybe it's wrong people? Maybe it's me?

Elena_Prikhodko, absolutely. I did it and I will do it again, and again...It feels good and I'm not hurting anyone. :)

CRAZY_VENUS, My guess is that it's good to be in a relationship but have some freedom to stay alone from time to time. However, I noticed that it's not the case for the majority of people. I don't know... it's quite complicated :)

Loclier, that's true. I know people who absolutely hate being alone, I mean every day after work they have to be with friends, and the same on the weekends, they despise "alone time". For me, it's hard to imagine that, but you know, whatever floats their boat. :) After living alone for the past 4 years, I find it hard thinking that I would possibly have to share my space with someone else. I like being alone, I like to sleep in bed diagonally, alone...and I don't want any noises, any movements, except for my own. You are right, it is complicated. :)

Исходное сообщение CRAZY_VENUS
self-made, I used to think it was normal to lose a bit of yourself in a relationship, but now it seems to me that it's wrong. A little bit here, a little bit there...Sacrificing here, compromising there, settling for less and it all turns into a mess after a while. Maybe I don't seem to notice where the limit between enough and too much is? Maybe it's wrong people? Maybe it's me?

Well, you need to compromise in any relationship - more or less. It's simply not possible for 2 people to always agree on everything :) I guess it depends on how much you have to compromise and how often. If it is to the point that makes you uncomfortable and you feel like you're starting to lose yourself, then it is not healthy. A healthy relationship is supposed to help you develop your own self, grow within the relationship as a self-sufficient partner, not as an inseparable part of a union. I like to look at relationships as partnerships. You give something – you get something in return. As long as it’s balanced and you feel comfortable and happy – great. But if a relationship requires too much sacrifice, I don’t think it’s worth it.
I have a close friend, who's been going back and forth with her boyfriend for 5 years already. Every time they break up it’s “forever”. And in a few months they are back together again and she’s telling me that this time she’s gonna try even harder to make it work, she’s gonna sacrifice and change… And I am always telling her: “You’ve already tried so many times! And it is still not working. If you have to change yourself so much, if you have to sacrifice this much and still be unhappy in your relationship is it really worth it???” To me the answer is clear. To her – not so much... And all she’s doing is wasting her young year on someone, who’s not even worth it...
Anyways, my point was – you have to compromise in any relationship, but when it’s not too much it can actually feel very natural and make you happy. But when it becomes too much for you – leave :)

Исходное сообщение CRAZY_VENUS
Elena_Prikhodko, absolutely. I did it and I will do it again, and again...It feels good and I'm not hurting anyone. :)

yeah :)) enjoy every bit of it :)

self-made, 100% right

self-made, I understand all that. Maybe I just haven't been in a relationship where it feels natural to compromise for years and be fine with it. I mean I agree with the whole theory of a realtionship as a symbiotic partnership...it's just I havent experienced it in real life. While in a realtionship, people change, their goals change...they even might outgrow each other, but you still try to keep it cool, because so much has been invested already, in hopes that everything is still "fixable". Hopefully I'll find that person with whom I'll be able to stay comfortable and happy for more than a few years. :)

Исходное сообщение CRAZY_VENUS
Hopefully I'll find that person with whom I'll be able to stay comfortable and happy for more than a few years. :)

Sure you will, but for now enjoy your solitude while it lasts :)

self-made, I'm afraid that I'm getting to enjoy my solitude so much, that I will not want to sacrifice it for a relationship.
:) lol

Исходное сообщение CRAZY_VENUS
self-made, I'm afraid that I'm getting to enjoy my solitude so much, that I will not want to sacrifice it for a relationship.
:) lol

Yeah, yeah, I used to say that too ;))