thisislove
thisislove
thatimfeeling

Настроение сейчас - ecstatic
В колонках играет - PJ Harvey - This Is Love

в моей жизни слишком много фальши
красного вина

пепла на пыльных подоконниках

наверно просто дождь никак не смоет воспоминания

все глубже и глубже

в этой серой тоске

look life in the face
always
for what it is
love it
for what it is



live it

and then put it away


this very moment, as its going by, slipping away
grains of sand

how to let it out? when theres nothing left to let out
how to let it go? when everythings gone


put it away
its time

mentally ill people inc))))))

Настроение сейчас - i am tired, i am weary
В колонках играет - The Velvet Underground - Venus in Furs

oh my god, how long is it gonna take?


Nuclei, mitochondria, Golgi apparatus, lysosomes ets are occupying my mind almost all the time!! geeeeeeeeekyyyyyyyyy...

they say that plagiarism is a "crime" in terms of university rules and regulations , but how can they be sure?

how i made my millions?


...

a guy in Mosh was playing THE BENDS, one of the best RAdiohead songs..he was so damn good... i felt like disappearing

once again

oh, Harry, Harry, why is it so stupid? i am getting absorbed into uni life

Rock society meeting tomorrow, yaaay!!

none of this makes any sense, does it?

haha, it is not actually meant to!!!!!


(Compounding & Process Technology practical in 7 hours from now, got to go to sleep)

Настроение сейчас - stinkin drunk!!!
В колонках играет - Tequilajazzz

"I can't be near you, the light just radiates"


no, i cannot.
been drinking too long
my memory is just about to stop functioning
bugger!!!

Harry's cool

Mosh is a great place, I love it really, the music in there is just brilliant!!

English cider sucks though, not as good as Passion cider in Denmark.


It feels kinda weird living in Leicester and all... Roann's gonna get me some weed, so it should be okay...

The thought of being sober scares the shit outta me .. and it's not the way it should be ..

I'm not ready to take all the responsibility, no, no ...

i just want somebody to hold me tight and never let go ... that's it ...


i'm very fuckin lonely ...


...


i need love
more than ever

Настроение сейчас - extremely intoxicated
В колонках играет - Hole - Awful

"you and me
meant to be
immutable
impossible
it´s destiny
pure lunacy
Incalculable
Insufferable
But for the last time
You're everything that I want and ask for
You're all that I'd dreamed"


but hey, "for pleasure and passion you pay the price". too high this time? yes. ..oh boy, and i'm broke again...but what the heck?! you can take my heart instead, won´t you? it's all I got, but I really would not mind...

but you know what?
i forgot that

it´s already been yours. all this time. it still is. it will be.
always? forever? eternally? days go by and eternity starts to fade..i dare not say another word. your eyes so full of pain. looking at me and i can see the hope slowly disappear. was that the chance of a lifetime? are you tears more salty than mine? how long will you remember, how fast will you forget?

i keep saying "i wish..." insted of "i will..". if only i wasn´t such a coward, if only my heart spoke a little louder so that i could finally hear it´s voice... but it´s you it belongs to, so take care of it, will you?

i hope that one day there will be "us" again
in this world that will never care


"And for the first time
I'm telling you how much I need and bleed for
Your every move and waking sound
In my time
I'll wrap my wire around your heart and your mind
You're mine forever now"

Killers On The Run

В колонках играет - Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Deja Vu

It all over now...all over.
Hard to believe, but I will never ever have to go to school again
I was going nuts this morning, both the excitement and the nervousness were overfilling me.

Screaming and crazily running around the school has made me feel better. I let it out.

And now it feels a bit empy inside.

I will miss them. I already do.


Words of gratitude have never come out of me so naturally, I meant it from my very heart.

And their smiling, shining eyes have let me know they feel the same way.


I am very very grateful to all of them for all we have been throgh. Together. They all made it possible.



"Oooh, jeee...."


I do fuckin love them!!!.....

Настроение сейчас - sadly happy
В колонках играет - Rolling Stones - Can't You Hear Me Knocking

-->

I want to go to Roskilde. very much!
feels incredibly nice to know that i will...
10 g is what we will get, mmmm...not bad, not bad at all!

W.S.Burroughs has bewitched me completely.
I am starting to see his dreams, which is rather awkward, since the dreams I have now are apparently not mine after all. I feel a bit like a thief..or, should I say, like the chosen one (?)..


the 23rd of may is the day of liberation, i can hardly wait.

В колонках играет - Sigur Ros - Olsen Olsen

+/-

Настроение сейчас - mathematical
В колонках играет - Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Warrior

1 is good, 3 is better

В колонках играет - Cure - Watching Me Fall

acid house

В колонках играет - Cure - Maybe Someday

when the sun goes down..

В колонках играет - Cure - The 13th

Happiness is filling me. Slooowly. "Limb by limb and tooth by tooth".. It feels warm. Like a slow drug. Like ecstasy.

We finally said the words i'd been yearning to hear. I could not understand why it took us so long. I was ready to say those words a lot earlier, but....but now i understand the bitter-sweet pleasure of anticipation, of waiting and finally, eventually, feeling the words gently slide into your ears and echo in your head... you cannot believe it's true, but then you hear them again and you know - this is real and never before has there been so much sincerity in the phrase


I LOVE YOU

Настроение сейчас - in love
В колонках играет - Radiohead - Thinking About You

..i realized how much i love the expression "we've got time"...

you know, they all say: "time is running", "time goes by so fast", "hurry up, there is no time"... but then - "we have time". we've got it. it's ours. in our hands. almost tangible.. and we can do whatever we please..anything! eternity is there for us...for us...WE are forever



..and come what may...

Настроение сейчас - indescribable & sunny
В колонках играет - Sonic Youth - Beauty Lies in the eye

I fuckin hate exams
jeg hader deeeeeeeeeeeeem!!!!! gider ikke mere...for fanden!!!!!!!!!!


...we discovered that pain turns us on. nice.

Настроение сейчас - revising, goddamit!
В колонках играет - ..silencio...

hmmm, seems like things are working out now.... (knock on wood!!!)

Настроение сейчас - feel good
В колонках играет - Raveonettes - Love In A Trash Can

i will not let him hurt me. not again.

"i'll give myself to anyone who wants to take me home"
even though i do not know where my home is. do not know if it even exists.

just TAKE ME AWAY FROM HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


far far away

i have a problem. or two. or three.


no, just one. unavoidable.

myself

i want some professional help. i cannot deal with this all by myself. not anymore.

he said something that made me confused.
and a bit scared.

seems like he's got this unique ability to know what's on my mind, to finish my sentences with just the right words, to understand me better than i do.

i'm just like an open book to him and he's so good at reading between the lines.

slightly creepy. just a little bit, but i seem to enjoy it anyways.


"sometimes clever people with low self-esteem do hang out with the ones who are not that intelligent or with those who are weird just because that makes them feel sane", -he said.

these words are still spinning inside my head.
he was talking about me.

i would have understood him if he'd said: "...because it makes them feel superior or because it flatters their ego", but that was not the point.

do i really need this to feel sane?
sane...

i look at him and i see a person who knows just what to do.
so "not like me" indeed.

but i'm not really sure that having everything under control is what i want....i'm way too chaotic for that.

and goddamit - why the heck do people keep telling me that i'm a perfectionist?!?!?!?!
i know i am, but i never thought it was so obviuos...

a little disguise won't do any harm, i suppose))

Настроение сейчас - ...eeeem, "with a boy" this time))))))))
В колонках играет - The White Stripes - Fell In Love With A Girl

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa


JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood.....
bloody fuckin heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel


JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSS!!!!!!!

what the hell am i thinking!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!
...was i thinking...



ohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho boy.......

EUPHOOOORIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

oh my..........

Настроение сейчас - ....and i doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon't!!!!!!!!!!!!!
В колонках играет - The White Stripes - I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

by the way, i just noticed - beer is not alcohol, as it turns out...

hehe, wicked....

i just love it - "even in brown paper bags"...hehe, the best!

Настроение сейчас - gooooooooooooooooood
В колонках играет - Sonic Youth - Starpower

..joy..

Настроение сейчас - floating
В колонках играет - Sonic Youth - French Tickler

me and A. will be together
i know that
i can feel it
so deep it makes me shiver

his craziness and this very special look in his eyes
his life is the way he wants it to be, not what it makes out of him.
he is the one who dictates all the rules.

he is FREE. he is just himself.

"he's so goddamn pure, you always feel like a phony around him"
and i really do

this type of people is on the verge of complete extinction
too sincere, too open, too innocent, too naive, too HUMAN for this world
hard to believe, but that's what he's like

and it gives me hope i can change. become better. get rig of all this dirt and hypocrisy. stop telling lies. even the white ones.
he will be my savior.

the salvation i'm looking for.
i will hold on to him.
very tight.

Настроение сейчас - belive in him
В колонках играет - Sonic Youth - That's All I Know (Right Now)

i miss talking to people
about music that has influenced generations
about literature that has changed the world
about the meaning of life
about what it's like to be lonely
about the journeys to the worlds of cloudy dreams


all those superficial conversations about parties and booze are taking me over.

i want them to listen.
LISTEN.
and understand.
these endless idle talks seem to be all they are concerned about.

sometimes i wonder, do they ever think about what they live for?
do they ever regret?
do they ever wish something so badly, thier fists clench and their hearts start to beat a million times faster?
do they ever want to turn back the time and change this one, the most important moment?


do they belive in the power of a wish?
and do they belive in themselves?


as for me, i keep hoping that i do, for otherwise there is nothig for me, but the dead end.

i know one thing - i have friends who will always be there for me, no matter how far away we are from each other.

i can always come home to them.

my deepest love and affection is what they will always have

Настроение сейчас - melancholic
В колонках играет - Sonic Youth - Disappearer

вот

Настроение сейчас - exhausted
В колонках играет - Depeche Mode - John The Revelator

никогда
этих снов никому
этих слов только ветер знает
там где я буду
навсегда
навсегда

для тебя
эти дни о тебе
эти сны на моих ладонях
тепло от моря
навсегда
навсегда

Настроение сейчас - ..я с тобой навсегда
В колонках играет - Линда