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Phone number 555-2878
9674 [or 9764] Jeopardy Lane
Chicago, IL

Al is a shoe salesman. He is married, drives a dilapidated Dodge Dart automobile and works for Garry's Shoes & Accessories for the Beautiful Woman at New Market Mall.


Al's wife, Margaret “Peggy” [née Wanker] is a red-headed, cigarette-smoking, bon-bon eating homemaker from Wanker County, Wisconsin who never cooks or cleans but loves to shop. Peg likes to watch TV talk shows, especially Oprah.

Al and Peggy share their modest home with beautiful but dim-witted daughter, Kelly [she‘s a slut]; son, Budrick "Bud" [he‘s socially inept]; Seven Bundy, the son of Peggy’s cousin Zemus who lived with the Bundy’s for a while; Yvette, a gorgeous French foreign exchange student who stayed temporarily with the Bundy‘s [so the Bundy’s could get $500 a month for hosting her], and a Briard dog named Buck [later reincarnated as Lucky, a cocker spaniel].

When Al wants to escape Peggy and the rigors of married life he goes to a nudie bar called The Jiggly Room. He also enjoys reading a girlie magazine named Big Uns, and a meticulously cared-for collection of Playboy magazines; watching the “Psycho Dad” TV show; bowling; and complaining about women to fellow members of NO MA’AM [National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood.]

Although Al goes to the nudie bar, he is still faithful to Peg. As he said “I show the nudie bar it’s due respect. A man looks, drools, dreams but never cheats.” He once revealed his views on marriage saying “Have you no respect for the torturous sanctity of marriage. We Bundy’s may have our faults, but we believe marriage should be forever—no matter how pitiful or disgusting it maybe to wake up to the same horrifying face each day. That’s what the marriage vows are all about. And anyone who can‘t stand the nagging, bon-bon eating heat, should stay out of the whining, sex-starved kitchen.“

Al buys his clothes at Bob’s Pre-owned Socks ‘n’ Stuff. His favorite foods are Turkey and Weenie Tots – “Nature‘s Most Perfect Food.“ His dream is to have his own personal executive washroom with a mighty Ferguson toilet [“for a man’s flush“]. And he is extremely proud of the fact that in his 1966 glory days at Polk High he made “four touch-downs in one game.” [Al gave the game ball from his greatest gridiron day to Sandy, a former flame]. To make extra money Al took a second job at Burger Trek fast food store. In his spare time Al invented shoe lights and hosted a shoe advice line called Dr. Shoe: 555-SHOE.

Married in 1972, Al and Peg first met at Polk High School where Peg flunked home economics. Her arch rival was Connie Bender (whom Peg later beat out for Queen of their High School reunion). In high school, Peg's promiscuity earned her the nickname Peggy “No need to thank her” Wanker. As a wife, Peg is constantly irresponsible with Al’s hard-earned minimum wage salary. She wears a Perfect Figure Model 327 bra [36C cup]; calls the remote control “Clicky” and steals garbage from her next-door neighbor as evidence that she has done some housework. In the love department, Peg declared that Al is still her Prince Charming, but joked “At least two times a year, your father makes me feel like a teenager...That’s because he has no money and a bad car.” Occasionally, Peg takes a night-off and enthusiastically stuff’s dollar bills down the trunks of strippers at Troy’s, a local male strip club.

Once, Peg pick-pocketed Al’s wallet. He chastised her saying "Never leave me with empty pants again." The expression inspired the name of cartoon character which Peg developed into a comic feature for Modern Gal magazine featuring "a hapless loser" of a man called Mr. Empty Pants. The name Mr. Empty Pants was a sexual put-down for Al's lack of manhood. After Playgirl magazine wanted Al as a centerfold (with bikini-clad babes), a jealous Peggy killed off Mr. Empty Pants saying. "I couldn't handle your happiness, so I killed you [Crushed by a meteorite shaped like a lady's shoe]. "Did I suffer?" asked Al? "Sure!" quipped Peggy.

The Bundy neighbor’s are Marcy D'arcy Rhoades, a bank employee, her first husband, Steve Rhodes [replaced by Jefferson D’Arcy]; and Amber, Marcy’s sexually active niece who dated Bud Bundy. The Bundy’s relatives included the hulking Jimmy Bundy, Efram Wanker, Peggy’s backwoods father; Peg’s overweight [never seen] mother who once moved into the Bundy house and made money with a sex phone-line that she ran from her bedroom (1-900-YUMMY..."You're cookin' with butter."); Peggy's cousins Eb, Effie, Possum Boy and Zemus and Ida May Wanker, Peggy‘s cannibalistic, swinger cousins and parents of Seven Wanker and Al’s Uncle Stymie. Al’s English ancestor Shamus McBundy from Lower Uncton, England, was the source of a family curse cast by an angry witch in 1653 whom Shamus called fat and ugly. The curse motivated the villagers of Lower and Upper Uncton England to kill all the Bundy line. They invited Al and his son Bud to England to finish the job. Luckily, Al broke the curse and saved the day.

from www.tvacres.com