Cast:

C - Captain (deep, fierce, incentive)

B - Boatswain (loud, romantic, expressive)

PQ - Pirate Queer (ringing, uncertain, queer)

G - Grog-a-holic (drunk, sleepy, irregular)

PC - Pirate Cynic (mocking, ignorant, cynic)

R - Rumpire (pathétique, sucking, French)

ST - St. Gunner (tranquil, dreamy, saint) 

SS - Sea Slaught (peppery, Italian, -ress) :))

___

 Chorus:

Set up the sails and rum the blood

Madden across the sea

Aye, we are pirates of our own

Just as we seem to be!

Give us yer booty, and be gone!

Say “hey” to Davey Jones!

Aye we are pirates of our own!

Creaking our salty bones!   

Ahoy!     

___

C: I left my wife for the Kraken’s breath

Thrown outboard her fee...

B: Look there she goes into the mouth

Of a giant manatee!

PQ: Everyone told me I’m a queer¹!

Actually, I never was!

PC: So, now you are the pirate queer!

Gee, what a shameful prose…

G: I loved a girl, oh beauteous maid!

Yet, she hated grog!

PC: Ooh… Tell me again, how much did you pay

For the holds² of that chicky-log!?³

B: “O, Captain, my Captain!

Our fearful trip is done!”⁴

C: Well, I’m not in to that Whitman’s whine, so...

It has just begun!

PQ: Oh, gosh, look, he has fangs and cloak!⁵

PC: Guys, we have here a vampire!

R: ‘tis not a cloak but a sailcloth   

And, I’d rather say “a rumpire”⁶

ST: I used to chime, playing my bells

In a peaceful and quite place…

PQ: Now you strike with awes, playing our balls!

Oh, the cannon balls⁷, I mean… really…

PC: Say, how’d ya like to be called…

A piratess…⁸

SS: Watch ya tongue, ye sea slut,

Or I’ll make you a spikeless!⁹

B: Ahoy! I see the land!

PC: Oh, we’re in again for some treasure sand…

C: Rejoice, we’re in again for the wind, that’s free…

And the vast intriguing… eh…

PQ: Holds?

PC: Aye, holds of the sea!¹⁰