I'm stoned. Phenobarbital. A LOT. The world's different. I like it.

Whenever I open this liveinternet client I get a window titled "Утреннее Сообщение". Damn, it's NOT morning here!

LI 5.09.15

В колонках играет - Untill it sleeps

I don't want to go to bed w/out you. I want to hug you, see your smile and kiss you on the cheek. Then I want to put my head upon your shoulder and feel you being close... while falling asleep...

I want to know what you are doing. I want to see you all the time, watch every motion of yours. When we were sleeping there in the tent I was looking at you... I was listening to you breath. I felt SO good! I wish I could live through that night over and over again. Lying next to you, hugging you, hearing you breathe. I love you. All of you. Your hands, your smile, eyes, everything. I can look at your hands for ever. Your palms, fingers, nails. I want to touch them. I want to touch you every time you're near. I have to push myself aside because it's so hard to keep myself in hand. When we work and you're so close, holding me I can smell you. You smell so good... I can't express how I feel...

I'm watching a show on the TV (no, have just switched it off) - about sngle mothers. And a woman there said 'If you take a look at my daughter you will see that she is a result of CRAZY love, of wild passion. She is going to be a very happy person because she was being waited and is being loved'

I couldn't keep watching because it hurts. I want to be with you, have a baby with you... It hurts so much that I hardly can bear.

How much longer? Through the rest of my life?

В колонках играет - Enigma

Я накурилась. У меня в шкафу еще с лета лежала трава, но я думала, что она плахая. А она оказалось вполне хороший!!!! Даааа!!!!!!!

I hate my life. Really. I wish I could end up with it, but I can't do it. Well, at least not yet.
Besides I'm sick. I dunno, maybe I drank too much coffee or something... I'm giddy and queasy... I feel bad. Shoot me!

Мы сидели в кафейне с Алексом и Энтони и Алекс рассказывал разные случаи и том, как он или его знакомые курили траву... или принимали другие наркотики. И я поняла, КАК давно я ничего такого не делала. И мне безумно захотелось купить 1/8 травки и накуриться. Улететь. Мне это очень нужно сейчас. Но мне не с кем курить, а одной - плохо. И негде. Но я просто подыхаю, как хочу улететь!

I love you so, soooo much. But you don't know. You know nothing. Or you pretend you know nothing. You hurt me. I wish there were something I could do but my hands are tied. And so are yours, I believe. But I want you to be MINE. And you will be mine. One can say I am squaring a circle but there must be a chance. There always is a chance. I just shouldn't miss it.

They're accusing, like always without knowing
What is just fiction or what is the truth
They have no mission, they have no passion
But they dare to tell us what's bad and what's good!
В колонках играет: Enigma - Modern Crusaders

LI 5.09.15

Когда-то у меня был здесь дневник. Я зашла на него пару дней назад и почувствовала себя как дома... Но я вела его слишком давно. Я уже давно не тот человек, я не могу вернуться туда...
И я подумала, что если заведу новый дневник на этом сервере - все будет как-то... хорошо... Но нет. Я вдруг поняла, что никого здесь не знаю и что эта страница - чужая для меня. Не знаю, останусь ли я здесь. Вполне возможно, я удалю этот дневник через пару дней. А может буду вести его много лет. Кто знает...

раз-раз... как слышно?
Надеюсь, этот сервер глючит меньше, чем diary.ru