You Know You're Russian When....
>>Your car costs more than your college education
>>Your blood has a permanent vodka content level, no matter you have been
drinking or not
>>!!!Any outfit you wear involves leather (even in the summer even when no coats are worn)!!!
>>Your idea of a normal Friday or Saturday night is spending it raving with 200-300 of your closest friends
>>Your idea of a love song is Track 1 of the New York Underground Party Volume 3 CD.
>>Things you can't live without include food, water, and a cell phone
>>Instead of notes during class you write text messages to your friends in Russian font
>>You come home at 3am and your parents are still out partying with all your friend's parents (back at home...not really here anymore)
>>People are always asking you if you can get them a cheep deal on something...and you can
>>Every sentence you say or hear starts with "blyat" and ends with "nahuy" (not really...but if u get me mad lol)
>>You know the new line of Nokia's 3 months before they come out on the market
>>You can't go to the movies on Sunday night without having to save 20 seats for your late friends cuz they're buying semichki
>>You don't mind family get-togethers because you know the grandmas will be making dinner
>>You know all the cops by their first names
>>You know someone who works at a dental lab
>>You are somehow related to most of the people you know
>>On the weekends your place of residence is the pool hall, and every 10 mins the tolstii pon'chik tells you to pick up line 2
>You drive a Honda (or, in the EXTREME worse case a Nissan), and your windows are tinted to twice the legal limit
>>Your Honda has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on the back bumper
>>Your Honda is a 5-speed stick shift, and you laugh at anyone driving an automatic by calling them lohs
>>At any given moment you are carrying at least a dime bag of shmal'...
>>Your uncle is in the Russian Mafia or is a former employee of the KGB
>>You have been kicked out of the JCC at least twice for trying to sneak in without paying.
>>You can be identified as "Russian" by your scent (D&G or Aqua de Gio cologne).
>>The waitresses at Omega know your order even before you say anything. Most of the time you get "Gypsy".
>>You met your girl playing strip durak at the last party you went to.
>>Everyone you know has a ruchka of smirnoff in their trunk.
>>You wake up on a saturday morning, unable to remember which one of your friends gave you a ride home because you couldn't even walk, but see your car standing in the parking lot (you drove home yourself).
>>You start thinking of bread as a good mixer for vodka
>>You know more than 30 Olgas, Annas, Natashas, and Vikas (for me it's more like Vlads, Vovas, Mishas, Maxs, Dimas...the list goes on)
>>You have to tell your parents what channel is "YOUR" HBO, Showtime, Per-View is on.
>>Your parents have computer "experience" for 8 years already on the resume, yet they been in US for only 4...
>>You major in Computer Science or in worst case scenario Information Systems (but you still barely know how to turn on a computer).
>>You have a personalized license plate.
>>When you are going downtown you ride in one of the last two train carts.
>>Typical Friday/Saturday night phone call to your friends starts with "So what are we doing tonight?"
>>Most of your clothes are fake brand names but you "just can't tell them apart from the real ones."
>>Your fake id is the International Driving License who you got through your friend who goes to Kingsburough.
>>You used to work out, but you don't anymore. If you do workout, you must wear all you golden chains and bracelets.
>>Lifting a cigarette while drinking coffee counts as an exercise.
>>You have a fake Movado because you can't afford a real Rolex.
>>Once in a while you attempt to go to synagogue but you never make it past the door because you meet so many people you haven't seen for so long.
>>Some English words like "use, shop, apply, and etc." permanently become a part of your conversational
>>You're proud to be Russian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Russian friends!
а ведь действительно правда!
