it means hi...

how are my friends? How is the weather in Samara?

for everyone:

I didn't become a gothic... I just wanted to change my hair color... and I have to say that I love this hair color...

I just lost the biggest love I ever had... But I am quiet sure that it was the right decision.... But I feel now so badly and I am now just thinking about him... It will be hard but I must forget him...

I am out of the hospital... My study will again beginn in August... I miss you all... And I miss very much Samara!!!!!

I didn't write here something for about 1 year... Ok... Than it's time to write someting! Here is a picture from me...

1) Ia magu dolga shdatz, i atdat tebe vsio xotshesh.
Tolka snatz bi, shto vsio ne sria. Shto ti pravda etava xotshesh.

2)Ti sagrevaesh dushu mne.
Ti osariaesh shisn maiu. S toboi ia kak v stshastlivam sne.
Ti tshuda!
IA TEBIA LIUBLIU!!!!

3) Ia xatshu shtob ti snal, shto nasha drushba mnoga snatshit dlia menia.
Ti platshesh, Ia platshu.
Ti smeeshsia, Ia smeius.
Ti Vibrigivaesh is akno. Ia smatriu, i satem apiat smeius!


(I wrote that together with a friend for some boys we like in Samara)
I miss you all!!!

I'm beginning to love school! Am I ill?
Since I have everything in russian I love school... the only thing what is hard is our homework....
next week I'll fly to baku to do my visa longer... 5 days no school:-(

today I'm writting from germany. I'm here since 2 week's and i'll be back at home in 3 week's. I'm working here as a waitress for 5 weeks...
And i'll be happy when i'll be home again!!! My dogs, my parents and my Stas are waiting for me!!!!:cow:

I'm happy that I'm happy again...
He's 18 and the friendliest person I've every met!!!
I've met him one week ago in "Elis". He's a waiter there. On saturday was party there every bowling team. And he was working there.
so we began to talk. Than we met again on Monday and since that day we're together.
He is just great and he takes care of me!!!!!!!!!

Just one question:

What do you think about "Hayden Christensen"?

(He played Aniken Skywalker in "Star Wars Episode ll and lll")

Today I woke up at maybe 10 o'clock.... I looked out of the window and... WOW!!!!!
All street's were full of water... You couldn't see anything.
And from today (12 o'clock) until tomorrow morning we won't have any light and water.... And tomorrow as well!!!! But I don't need light or water....



And than at 11 I met Misha again... (It was hardly raining!) We went to the cafe, we were drinking coffee. Than he took me out of the cafe (without jacket) and he took me on the street...My T-shirt as my trouser were wet!!!! He began to make jokes! I began to laugh...
And than....
He came to me... took me in his arms and told me that he loves me! (Silence...) I began to laugh again.

I love that city!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today I had a D - A - T - E.... His name is Misha and goes to the 10 form. My friends wanted that I'll meet with him because I have to do something else ecept sitting at home the hole day.... So I listened to my friends and I met him....
We went to the beach. We were sitting there for maybe 2 hours. We had much fun!!!! He's very funny... He wasn't born here. He was born in Moscow. He's leaving here since 1 year and he'll leave from aktau next year like me...
He's quiet interesting... black hair, brown eyes but.... he's bigger than me...
We were talking about everything! About Moscow, I told him about Samara, School, my last boyfriend what I had....
After that he brang me home. He asked me that maybe we can meet again. So I said:"Maybe..." I gave him a kiss on cheek and I told him that I would be glad to meet him again! So we'll meet again next Tuesday.
But now I'm thinking.... It won't be a good idea to have a boyfriend again! He'll leave and I'll leave next year!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's see.... how it will come....
I take the things how they're coming!

Bye miss you all

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today I got 16!!!! i won't celebrate it today I'll celebrate it on saturday!!!!!
But I don't like this day today!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know why.....
I'm just happy when I will be 17!!!!! Than I'm free!!!!!!!!1

May day was just great!!!! I stood up at maybe 9 because me and my mum wanted to download "Star wars episode 3"....But it didn't work!!!!:confuse:
Than I and my mum went shopping, because......tomorrow I'll get 16!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I'm waiting and waiting and waiting.....
Ok noting to write about....
Sorry... BYE bye
love you all

I stood up at maybe 9:00. Than my parent's wanted to drive with NIVA out of the city and they wanted to see something from Kasachstan.... ( how interseting!! I wanted to kill myselfe...)
But than in the end it wasn't so bad how i thought!!!! We have seen a snake maybe 30 cm long! we were driving with the car maybe 2 hours, we saw mountins and than we were driving back to the Ocean... Today it wasn't so warm like yesterday. Yesterday it was 35 and today only 25!
I'm already counting the day's until i'll be in Samara...
Now I am at home and i'm really bored!!!! I'm so bored that i'm wachting "Troy".

Here 3 questions for you all:
1) If you could leave your life again, what would you change?
2) If you could deside by your own, where do you want to leave on the world?
3) What do you wanne be when you finnish studing?

OH yes!!!!!!!!
I'm back home. I was lying 7 days in a shity Hospital
Ok here's my story:
03.05 Tuesday:
In the morning i felt o badly that my mum must call the doctor. She said I'm ill! Than I stood up and couldn't walk anymore.... She said ok it's Apendix (Apendizit) and we need to go to the hopital! I saw the hospital and thought "Oh my God!". I told my mum that i feel better and can go home and after that i couldn't walk and felt!!!! The Doctor said that i have 39.6 temperature and I have problems with Apendix... And if they don't do the operation now i coud die in the next day's, because it was already big and very bad so it could break!!!!! I was in a kind of shock that my mum said i became white in my face ..... Than they made me ready for the operation.... They said that i have to put of my closes! I told them that I'm not going to do that!!!! But then I did. After that a very fat ladie came to me and said:" Hello Jessica my name is Tanya I want that you have a sit and open your legs..." I thought is she stupid or something? I lied down and opend my legs and than.... she took a glow and put it over her hand... I thought no.... she isn't going to do what I think.... And she went with her hand in my body!!!!! That hurt's!!! She went out with her hand and said:"OK,good" I said:"what is good?" and she:" You aren't pregnant!" I told her why didn't she ask I could tell her that as well!!!!!!! I really wanted to kill her!:railgun: Than the time of the operation came. I still remember that they drived me to the sixth floor. I also remember that i was in a big room and there where many friendly women! They're beginning.... After the operation i woke up and there was a ladie sitting next to me and said: "Jessica if you can hear me press my hand!"(i tried to press with no power...) "Jessica you musst breath!!!!!!!!!!!" (Because i remember that i stoped breathing for maybe 1 minute...) After that shity operation i felt nothing! I didn't feel how i breath and how I'm moving my body!
The next two days I felt like I drank 20 classes of very strong Vodka. On the 3 day i tried to walk the first time... I looked funny;-) I walked like left right left right.
So.... now i'm out of that shity hospital!!!!! And i feel pretty at home!!!!!!
Yeah... home is always the best place where you can be.....

HOME SWEET HOME I'M HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!:bis:

I feel so badly... I hang already 4 times over the toilett!!!!:4u: I have problems with my stomach and with my head... Everywhere pain...
I even had to cancel my Tennis training...(and math lesson.But that's ok!)
While i'm writting this my mum plays Playstation and I'm lying on teh sofa and i have much fun because my mum is always dying!!!! ha ha ha ha...
Can anybody help me? Does anybody have Igorurevitsh's e-mail address?
At school in Literature we were talking about what we want to be in our nexr life?
A boy answered:"I wanne be a Hot-Dog".
A girl answered:"I wanne be a boy..."
And I answered:"I wanne be a bird! Because than i'll fly away!!!!"
So my question is:

What do you wanne be in your next life?

Oh my god... Love let me wrote a poam about a person.....
And it's really not bad... My mum said it's good.
If you don't understand that ask your german teacher to translate.

Oh du mein Stern!:buket:

'Ich liebe dich sehr'
Meine Liebe ist wie das offene Meer
Vor 1 1/2 Jahren kannten wir uns nicht
Vor7 Monaten als wir uns trafen
Sah ich dein helles Licht
Dein Licht war so wunderschoen und hell
da verliebte ich mich ganz schnell...

Aber jetzt bin ich nicht mehr bei dir,
Bitte komm' zurueck zu mir!!!!
Gestern im internet ungefeahr um Zehn (10)
Wolltest du mich wiedersehn...
Du gabst mir einen dicken Kuss!:shech:
Aber das war noch nicht der SChluss.

Dann musstest gehn'
und ich blieb alleine stehn'
Ich hoffe du gehoerst bald wieder mir!
Denn bald komme ich zurueck zu dir...

Ich habe dich so gern
Oh du mein Stern...

I know that after tomorrow is a school Concert... And I've got a big surprise for the school!!!!! While the concert is going my surprise is coming.... I hope you'll like it all!!! Tell me it after the concert!!!!
I miss you all!!!!
Than see you tomorrow...

Kalai? Shachsim...(How are you? I'm fine. In Kasak)Sorry that i didn't write anything here the last day's!!! I didn't write here anything because i really had much to do. So... Since today i'm a student of an American School. It will be very very very difficult for me to study there. I'll have everything in Russian...
For tomorrow i have my first Text to tell in Russian! It's about ''Pushkin''....
I learned it very very hard... You must all wish me luck tomorrow!!!!! After tomorrow my Dad will fly to Almaty to work...He'll take our Visa's, because i and my Mum have no Visa!!! It means we can't fly anywere. And if somebody will find out that we have no visa they'll kick us out of Kasachstan and we never can come back!!!!!(Maybe a really good idea to kick us out!!!) But what i hate is that i have to go to 9 form again next year!!!!!!! But i'll still finnish school next year!As planed. Still 1 month school and than 3 monthes holidays!!!! This will be my last Summer Holiday's...
Please wish me luck tomorrow!!!!! This text was hard!!!!!!:ilua:

PS.:I put some pictures in Photoalbum.
Bye bye see you soon

I've got a big problem...... On Wednesday i have to write a test in Mathematic, and the problem is that... if i'll fail it i have to go from September again to the 9 form! Bullshit!!!!!!
My day was really very strange. The first two lessons i had russian Literature, i understood only half of the lesson!!!! (i like the teacher!!!!) Than i had History... It was borring and i understood nothing.... Than i had Biology! Oh my god!!! She saw me and sad:''You Jessy go out of my lesson and go home'' I hate her!!! She's stupid.... so after that i went home and i tried to learn Math... i really have to give my best!!!!!! My dad said if i have to go to 9 form again i have to finish school in Germany, and that will be very hard for me!!!!! So.... I hate Math! But tomorrow i'll go to school with a paper there all my marks on it and i'll show them it. I hope they ecept that.... If not than all my studing in Samara for nothing....
Than...see you tomorrow!!!
BYE

Oh my god.... i'm so happy hat day is over!!!!! That wasn't the best day today!!!!!
I stood up at maybe 11... had breackfast and went a walk to the See! Really very nice!!!! The nother half of the day i was learning Russian (It was hard...)
Than i had a nice talk with Misha.... We talked maybe 30 minutes... I miss my brother!!!!!
Ok there's no more to write about, because nothing happend.....
Than see you tomorrow....:-)

Sorry that i didn't write anything here....
That day was just borring!!! I was really thinking i'll die...
In the morning i didn't here my alarm clock so woke up at 10 and not at 7. I was then to lazy to go to school!!! so exept going to school i went shopping with my mum.
I bought a new dress and very nice ear rings. The days here are really very long and since one or two weeks it's hot here.... maybe from +22 until +28.... so.. good for me!!!! because now i can eat much ice-cream Since yesterday i'm going to school and i really hate it!!!!! I have Biology, Geography, Mathematic, MXK,Kasachski Literature and Kasachki Language.... how to say everything in russian!!!!! The hole day i set on my table and i understood always the half of the lesson!!!!!
Today i had really nice and good talkings with Igor and Misha! I miss everybody!!!!! Here in Kasachstan (Aktau) i'm getting crazy!!!!!:uraura: I want to come back to samara!!!! And i will come back....soon...
Ok that' all i think....
Than see you all soon!

Today my day was not very good! I am lying in the bed with flue called: "ANGINA". So i had to cancel my Guitar lesson!:-(
And i also have temperature... i feel so badly...
I just want to sleep... bye......bye