Chris H-C: Mozlando Diaries |
I was randomly selected for diminished security. They funnelled me to the Nexus line. I get to keep my shoes on? “Put anything with metal in the bin, sir. No, not your wallet.” What?
“Take out your laptop, put it separately in the bin. But not any tablets, ereaders, raspberry pi… Sir, we only want the computers.”
Shoes off, but only if you’re older than 13. Or was that 18. You yes, you no. Oh, not you, sir, you are in the Nexus line.
Apparently those X-ray machines can distinguish between full and empty water bottles. Whoops.
Coming from Pearson T3, land of construction, the three-story Christmas tree was a shock. It was also an annoyance as it blocked the signs directing me to the main terminal tramway.
No signs indicating which baggage carousel you need to visit… or maybe there was a display, but it was hidden by a 100-foot-long garland?
No worries, manners get you answers (“Are you Canadian?” ..Yes. “Ah, that’s why you’re so polite.” …you don’t have to be Canadian to be polite, I thought…) and then there are lots of people with purple shirts and mozlando signage to point the way.
“Machine Gun America” reads the billboard on the highway. I hope that’s a wordmark and not a suggestion.
A blimp in the sky! Advertising the Peanuts Movie. I wonder why we don’t see blimps further north. You wouldn’t have to heat the lifting gas nearly as much.
Two registered guests in the shuttle, not Mozillians though they talk a good game using the words “bug” “wiki” “yammer (ugh)”, trying to figure out how to get to Universal Studios. I take a wild stab “Wizarding World?” “Well, yeah!”
Excitement on the hotel shuttle is high, fueled by jet lag, jet fuel, Disney, Harry Potter, and more sunshine than December ought to have in the northern hemisphere. “So, you must be eleven now. When do you turn twelve?” “Ha. ha.”
The hotel is a behemoth of striking architecture. Well-maintained, though it is starting to show its age. Also, the lobby level is a rabbit warren. It does give a thrill of discovery to find a new shortcut to breakfast, though.
…and I thought the airport liked Christmas. I don’t even know how tall that Christmas tree is. And the garlands by the escalator to the fountain are neon-green. Mrs. Claus lights the tree at 6pm, and you can visit with the big man himself from 6:15-8 (there is a whole schedule of happenings. And this is just the hotel.)
And of course the palm trees are lit. And of course the lights change based on the music. And of course the music is Wizards of Winter.
At least the hotel Wi-Fi reaches the hammocks on the beach. (whut.)
The opening welcome reception has live music, food stations, open bars… and Donald, Goofy, and Lilo and Stitch? Why yes, I would like you to take my picture with them. No, of course, I’ll make sure my beer is set down out of view. I understand.
It seems as though the purpose of these receptions is for everyone to catch up with people they haven’t seen since the last one. I’m stuck in an induction proof’s base case. How do I bootstrap my way into knowing people, when I can’t say “I haven’t seen you since…”
Simple: introduce yourself. What would be unthinkable to me mere years ago only requires a little mental effort to smile and make eye contact and say “Hi, I’m chutten”.
Plus I eventually found Kats, whom I haven’t seen since I was blaming him for ecmascript failures in BB5. Though I’ve talked to him since, as evidenced by him referring me to this position.
Fresh Florida orange juice served at breakfast. How could they afford the expense of importing it all the way from… oh.
The all-hands started with multipart vocal harmony and beatboxing. I now have a high standard for future all-hands meetings.
Firefox plushies adorned every seat. And they’re so soft! I grabbed a few extra just in time for them to announce that there’s going to be an Adoption Centre. Because of course there will be.
Finally met up with the Toronto contingent. Apparently they were all on a later flight on Monday. Stood in the sun complaining about the unseasonably-warm December we’ve been having in Southern Ontario. Canadiana at its best.
Three free t-shirts! But they’re all the same design. But you can get different sizes so you can give them away! But I don’t know anyone who wears graphic t-shirts anymore… or their t-shirt sizes, off-hand. Ah well, wear one out, sub in a new one.
The Firefox All-hands is in a smaller room and opens with a choice: want us to go through the Planning slides, or want us to just take questions? The consensus was: go through the slides, but don’t take forever about it, I mean, geez.
This company, people. This company.
:chutten
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