It's over... all those years of marriage... over. It's hard to believe, but it's true. I slept with Ryuuen again and now I believe the child I'm pregnant with is his. We did get into a fight and I went to stay with Ryuuen for a few days. We've been together, I suppose. I agreed to be his girlfriend, though I'm still married. However, I went to see Tohma today... apparantly our relationship isn't important enough to talk about. I know I can have better than just that. I threatened him with a divorce to get him to pay attention to me... and he said to go ahead... so I am. I'm filing for divorce in the morning. If this baby truly is his, then that's too bad.

As I said, I've been staying with Ryuuen. I never thought I'd end up with him like this, but that's how things are now and, I have to say, they're wonderful. He's everything I've ever wanted. I'm falling for him. I suppose that's why I agreed to date him even though I'm still married. I know I can end up rekindling things with Tohma, but right now, I don't know if I want to. Maybe it sounds silly, but I want to be with Ryuuen right now. He makes me feel special. Like I'm needed, not just a convenience. It used to be like that with Tohma...

http://users.livejournal.com/_mika/13182.html