I always thought it would be my brothers to fuck up their lives and it would be me who got them out of it. I can't believe all that I've done lately. I now know why it's been so hard for Tatsuha to stop. That man... Miki... a much as I'd like to blame him for everything, I know that it's not entirely his fault. I'm the one to blame, and I'm surprised that Tohma doesn't hate me. At least, he says he doesn't. I really do hope that's true. I don't know what I'd do without him.

I took a walk last night and met up with Ryuuen. He seemed upset about something, but he also didn't seem to want to talk about, so I didn't push him for it. I know what it's like to be forced into talking about something I'd rather not. It's most likely none of my business anyway. I just wish I could help him a little bit more. I haven't talked to him at all for quite a while. I think I need people around me now more than anything and, as much as I hate to say it, I don't want to spend time with Tatsuha. I'm almost positive he hasn't gotten over it and I don't want to be around him with all of that. I want to get over this as soon as possible.

http://users.livejournal.com/_mika/12564.html