Every Chinese New Year I wonder if it's a time of celebration or time of mourning. Some years I'm able to be happy and grow nostalgic about the past, about the country I was born in, about the place where half of my family still reside. Other years I just want to forget.

I'm an adult now, but when I think of my homeland, I feel like a lost child again. I can't help but wonder what life would have been like had my mother not left for America, had my parents not split apart, had mother and father not replace me with their new families.

I want the memories to burn, but year after year I still can't let go

https://www.deviantart.com/yuumei/art/Can-t-Let-Go-946147494