i don't like knowing things that will break peoples hearts if they knew. it's so hard to distinguish when it's best to pretend you never heard the shit you hear or when it's best to tell. am i not being honest by not telling or am i just minding my business? being a good friend is so hard. especially when your friends don't listen to you half the time. i hate this position. i'm torn between friendship and friendship. this is like the high-wire over a 20,00 foot drop canyon. the wire will snap one way or another but which way might that be?

i'm having trouble determining what's real and what's not anymore. this perpetual state of denial that i find myself in is not assisting my distinguishment of reality.